Helping a Sick Neighbor

[KaliLily]

I'm hoping someone here can offer me some ideas/advise on what I can do for my neighbor, who a was diagnosed with multiple melanomas about a month ago. We are new to the neighborhood, having moved here in December, and haven't known out neighbors for long, but this lady and her husband (we'll call them S and C, respectively, have been very nice to us since we got here. The first real snow, C came over with his snowblower when he saw DH shoveling our driveway. C and I also always strike up a conversation when we're both outside, which is how I learned that S was sick. I have already offered any help/support they need, including sitting with S if she just needs company since I am home all day.

C and S are my parents age and S reminded me of my mom the moment I met her. They seem like such great people and I feel so bad for them to go through this. I just lost my Aunt to cancer in May and know what it does to the family. I've thought about going over with some flowers or cookies, but don't want to disturb S if she's resting.

Any ideas on what I can do to help/support this nice couple?

[camberne]

When our new neighbors all moved in (we had a high turn-over rate last year) we made a point of taking cookies over and introducing ourselves. Cookies always seem to go over well!! I would start there and if you find out that she's having treatment for them, you could take over some easily re-heatable meals for her and her husband. When I was really sick, it was a godsend to me and my husband and son to not have to worry about meals. Or even just going over and asking her if she wanted to get out to somewhere (anywhere) if you were planning an excursion on your own... like to a botanical garden or something. She might not want to go, but at least she'll know that you're there and willing to spend time with her.

[brenda]

When my mom was sick, one of the best things that happened was one day when a friend of hers came over. Because than I had 45 minutes to go to the pharmacy, pick up some groceries, and not constantly be worrying about leaving her alone.

I would suggest offering to run errands for S & C AND offering to stay with S while C runs errands or just goes to the park or the movies or lunch or to sit quietly away from everyone and questions and concerns and idealistic hopefulness and cheer without having to worry about S needing something.

[DiscoDiva]

Maybe knock on the door and say "I'm going to the store and running some errands, is there anything you'd like me to pick up for you?" Also, bring over a homemade lasagne, maybe some flowers, offer do mow the lawn, whatever. I'm sure they will appreciate it!

[KaliLily]

Thank you all for your suggestions. Interestingly, a way to help found me today.

I was outside getting ready to weed the front plant bed when I saw C & S come home. A little while later C came over and asked if I could come help him. S had been in the hospital for a week, and they were trying to get her inside but her legs were too weak to climb the stairs into the house. I helped C get S into her wheel chair and lift the wheel chair up the stairs.

Before I left I gave them my phone number and told them to call for anything - help with the house, yard, etc. Tonight or tomorrow DH and I are going to bring them a box of chocolates from Germany that DH picked up on his last trip to Munich, and see if they have a DVD player. We have a collection of over 600 DVDs and thought S might enjoy having a next door "movie rental" at her disposal. We're free AND we deliver! ;)

[BethElena]

Kim - what a great idea! I think they will be able to really utilize the offer! It's always good to know that you have a good, caring neighbor looking out for you! And if they don't have a DVD player, just knowing that you cared enough to ask will mean so much to them.

[KrissyCat7]

Its so great that you want to help your neighbors. It gives me a nice feeling to know that there are such thoughtful people out there.

I think offering movies is such a great idea. I love it. Another suggestion I might add is to possibly drop off casseroles on a semi regular basis. I did that for my brother and his wife when they were going through some struggles and they loved it. :)

[Sazoo]

Hi Kim! :)

I agree with the other ladies here that it is so sweet of you to offer to help out your neighbors like this! So many people (myself included, sometimes) get wrapped up in their own lives & don't do stuff like this, even though the smallest effort made by one person could mean the WORLD to someone else. Good for you for reaching out. :D

That's great that you had an opportunity today to talk to both of them & reiterate your offer of help. Now it'll be even easier to go knock on the door to say hi, offer to run errands, bring them treats, loan movies, etc. I'm sure they will both really appreciate your offer of friendship & support.

Gee, you're such a nice person, Kim. I KNEW there was a reason I liked you so much... :p Can't wait to come see ya in a few weeks!

[KaliLily]

Its so great that you want to help your neighbors. It gives me a nice feeling to know that there are such thoughtful people out there.

I think offering movies is such a great idea. I love it. Another suggestion I might add is to possibly drop off casseroles on a semi regular basis. I did that for my brother and his wife when they were going through some struggles and they loved it. :)

I'm new at this "homemaker" thing, and my cooking skills are still a little limited. :) If you have some good caserole recipes, I'd love to see them.

[maplekitty]

I agree that helping to run errands or doing some work around the yard would be a great help. I remember when my mom was first disgnosed with cancer, she started chemo and radiation quite quickly. When you're going through treatments you get very tired and even the smallest chore like grocery shopping turned into a huge ordeal. It's also emotionally tiring for everyone in the household, so I know that the husband would love the extra time to spend with his wife instead of worrying about household chores.
I'm sure they appreciate the help very much :)
They are very lucky to have such a thoughtful neighbour