Share names before birth?

[e&d]

We are narrowing down our name choices and I'm wondering what you all think is best in terms of whether or not to tell family/friends the choice before the baby is here.

There are some opinions I do value, depending on the person. But for example, we are using family names, which is really important to me; I don't really care if a friend doesn't think they're great, and I don't want to hear a critique from some people. Know what I mean?

Curious what others have done or think.

[LeslieR]

I think it's just personal choice. I know a lot of people keep their names a secret. I was worried about getting grief on our name choices so we only told immediate family and close friends. My FSIL made my cake for my shower and she put his name on it, so the secret was pretty much out then. lol Luckily no one made any comments that they didn't like the name we chose. (not that it would have mattered if they had, of course)

[Ole Miss Bride]

If you tell people you've definitely chosen a particularly name, they will be less likely to offer their unsolicited opinions. But if you tell them you're considering a name, expect to hear what other people think.

We are telling people our name choice, but in a very matter-of-fact way. As in, "This is our choice, and it's not up for discussion." Even if people don't like it, they will (usually) keep their opinions to themselves if they realize you are 100 percent settled in your decision.

-Betsy

[ktdelsur]

Hey E!

We're not telling anyone (with the exception of my online december mommas) until the baby is born. Not only just because our parents have already given their opinions somewhat - even to the point of "Don't name your child something ridiculous like [insert name here]." Sooo if we wait until we say, "Here is your grandson.....blah blah P****" then they can't complain.

Plus..I've heard about a lot of folks picking names and realizing they thought the child "looked" like something other than the name they picked. :D

[lml41981]

Well...I let it slip to my mom accidentally, but she swore she wouldn't repeat it. Other than that, we aren't sharing the name because we want something to announce other than "Well, she's here" when she's born.

[Abby'sMom]

We didn't tell anyone our name choices. We enjoyed being able to announce 'it's a girl!' (didn't find out the gender in advance) and her name at once when she was born. 99% of our friends/family liked what we did; since so many people find out gender/share names in advance these days, they enjoyed the suspense. :)

[solongtogo]

We weren't going to share the name we've chosen until she was born, but the families are so excited to know the name. We decided we'd share it at the baby showers...we had one today, and the chosen name was met with much enthusiam. Our next shower is next Saturday.

The reason we chose to wait was because we wanted something to be a suprise for the families...

[knzbound]

We didn't share our names with DD#1, and aren't going to share for DC#2. We picked an unusual, nonphonetic name for DD and didn't want to hear negative comments, or any comments really. It was easier to just say, "This is DD" after the fact. If people had comments at that point, they didn't voice them to us.

BIL & SIL were pregnant and due around the same time, and they are pregnant and due around the same time with #2 as well, so name choice in the family can get a little competitive since you can't have cousins with the same first and last name!

I've gotten some flak about being so secretive but I do think it's a personal choice, just like finding out or not finding out the gender. Actually SIL called me militant for not sharing our names, but whatev. Annoying, IMO, since I respect other people's choice to share names or not, or find out gender, or not.

[kmmommy]

We told a few family members, but not a lot of friends. We didn't really care if they didn't like it - they all had their chance to name kids so screw 'em.

Plus, we didn't know the sex so we had one surprise already.

[Brink]

We have shared "ideas" for names only because people won't leave us alone about it. But, we are not telling anyone (except here on CC) what the name is until she is born. I just don't want to say for sure until she is born. What if I change my mind in the delivery room? I've had people say they want to know so they can make something with her name on it. Well, I would feel obligated to keep that name even if I changed my mind. DH and I are referring to her as Aimee in private, just not public yet.

[Brady]

Looking back now, I wish I didn't. I had a name I loved and as soon as my DH shared it with his mother he was met with something like "Eww, I hate that name!", and needless to say my DH then immediately ruled it out. There were a couple other instances like that, that made me say to myself.. the next baby we will keep the names we decide on to ourself and share after the birth. There is really no need to get other's approval on your baby's name, which is sort of what just happens when you do share your choices, and makes you second guess things! At least that was my experience.

[eli1126]

When the time comes we won't tell because if we love the name then I don't want to hear any negativity like what Brady had to deal with! I would be ticked if my MIL ruined our name choice by doing something like that so it's better to just be secretive ;)

Beth

[Jaycee]

When the time comes we won't tell because if we love the name then I don't want to har any negativity like what Brady had to deal with! I would be ticked if my MIL ruined our name choice by doing something like that so it's better to just be secretive ;)

Beth

I third that! We only have a couple of names because we are also using family names (or variations of family names) and our choices are so limited, that I would really be upset if somebodys unsolicited opinion ruined that for us.

[BooeyJ2]

We had told people a few names we were considering (we didn't mention the one we ended up picking) and of course we got all kinds of comments and suggestions (how to spell, why we should or shouldn't pick it, pronounce, etc).


When we finally decided on a name, we told our friends and family that we had decided on a name.....*Paige*.

Luckily they all loved it and we didn't hear one negative comment. From that day on she was referred to as "Paige" rather than just "baby"....which I believe helped everyone to bond with her as if she was already there :)

[myshel]

We told family what we were going to name DS (once he gets here, that is). Like a few other posters have mentioned, we told them in a matter of fact way so that there wasn't any discussion about it. The name (Luka) was met with mixed reviews but we had decided from the very beginning that we were keeping it.

As for people other than family, eventually the word got out. One place I did not spill the beans was work. I teach HS so the kids were constantly trying to guess and suggest, vainly, their own names. As if I would do that...

[tgray99]

Our original plan was to not tell until DD was born. However, I suck royally at keeping secrets so we told at Christmastime. It was nice to get things with her name monogrammed on it for shower gifts!

[sarahanna115]

We shared immediately and never got any critiques whatsoever...everyone loved it and didn't offer their opinion. Guess we have some good family/friends! ;) It wouldn't have bothered me anyways if they did (I'd be mad for a short time I bet...) but seriously, their opinion wouldn't have mattered nor changed our minds.

I think everyone has bonded more to our baby because everyone has called him by name since the day we found out he was a boy and named him, back in April. He is already a "person" to us and them! That's why we shared. (I can understand if people are critical and opinionated, though, why you might not want to share!) :)

[kat]

We are definitely NOT telling anyone (well, anyone IRL), *especially* family.

These are our first kids, so we don't have any first-hand experience in this department, but I know that when my mom was pregnant with me, EVERYONE piped in with thoughts about my name (I am so, so thankful she didn't follow the advice of some of them! I would've been named something awful). It turned into a "trying to please everyone" fest, even though she had "told" them what my name would be (rather than making it sound like a suggestion). Knowing my mom and MIL (two very strong-willed, opinionated women), I'm sure they wouldn't be able to help but to offer their opinions (even if they try not to, we'll know - neither has a good poker face).

Anyway, like some of the others, I also like the idea of keeping the names a surprise (since we already know that it's twins, and we plan to know the sexes, too).

[chiffani]

We decided not to tell anyone and about month... 9... we caved LOL. I regret it big time but at that point everyone knew why we weren't going to tell (didn't want to hear bad input on our child's name) and they didn't say a WORD when they found out. Some liked it... we knew other's didn't by them saying "What? Caden? Katie?"

If you can keep it in, do it, it's sorta fun... but some people get annoyed that you don't want to tell.. which isn't their business, IMO. Just do what you feel is right!

[Medako]

We're not planning on telling. We've put a LOT of thought into coming up with baby names that WE could agree on and neither of us want to deal with what other people think of the names. Besides, once the name is on the birth certificate, there's no turning back and family and friends will simply have to deal (although we doubt anyone will be opposed to the names).

What we HAVE done is come up with a couple of "decoy" names. We know they are names that will stimulate a response of some sort, but little will everyone know, we've been hiding the real name the whole time. :)

[shellbell516]

We told our pick for a name from the beginning. We only had one choice if it was a girl and one if it was a boy.

Now that everyone knows we've gotten several personalized gifts such as embroidered burp clothes, onsies, towels, silver bracelet, etc. Plus we got to hang her name on the wall in the nursery with those cute letters.

[Natasha]

We picked a boy and girl name for sure, so we're telling people. I told with DS, too. I am no good at secrets...lol

[Jaycee]

I just added our name pick to my sig!! I'm interested to hear what people think!

eta: OK, I retract this last post and I'm changing my signature back. I made up a joke name and I can't stand it being in my signature :eek:

[usafwife]

After we had decided on our daughter's name, we only told immediate family (my parents, DH's stepmom, his grandparents, and his brothers/family). I didn't want everyone to know what her name was before she was born. We already have names picked out for our future children (did so after we suffered a death in our family a month before I was due) but we aren't telling anyone those names. Only one person besides my husband and I know those names and they aren't going to be telling anyone.

[mamax2]

I think it's o.k. to share your name pick IF you are 100% confident on it. If you're considering several names or you and your DH are still throwing things around, definitely don't share it. I've already started to make that mistake :rolleyes: My Mom and aunts were pressuring me so I threw out a couple of names and they took that as an invitation to make their suggestions too. Now, every time I see my Mom she's like "What about XXX??" It's like she's begging for this one name!

That said, w/DD1, we told everyone her name - she is named after my Grandmother and IME, people don't tend to critique a name when you make it clear that you're naming the baby after someone. My SIL has given both of her kids family names too and it's been the same situation - family names have a sacred quality and people don't tend to bad-mouth them, plus they know you're serious. ;)

[boilermaker]

We will not be telling anyone of the names in advance. My sister had decided on a name for her daughter around 5 months pregnant and my mom did not like it and made it known she didn't like it. Really classy. Then with #2, my sister talked about a couple of the names she was considering and got hell for that. So when she finally chose one, she didn't tell anyone til the birth.

On the other hand, SIL had one name picked out and when her son was born, they had a change of heart and named him something different :)

So, if I am lucky enough to get pregnant, I am not planning to tell anyone...well maybe online here :)

[JBB]

Not pregnant yet-still about 10 months until we ttc, but EVERYONE knows that if we have a girl she is being named Julia for the first name-this is my maternal grandmother's name who I was very close to and I would want a girl to be named after her. The middle name would be something with an A after my DH's deceased father, but really haven't thought about what it would be.

Honestly, I think except for everyone knowing about Julia we would keep it quiet. We're Jewish and I know when/if I get pregnant we'll be of the mind set not to talk too much about it (some Jewish people are very supersticious of talking and/or buying anything for the baby before baby is born and we are of that mind set).

[PinkMartini]

(Old thread)

Yup, we've shared our boy's name choice with pretty much everyone so far and haven't heard 1 negative comment. If/when we come up with a girl's name (prior to finding out the sex) we'll share that too :D I couldn't care less what other people think of our name choices

[BTB]

My two cents' worth of advice: if you DO decide not to share the names before the birth, don't tell everyone "oh, we know, we're just not telling you". Just say "we haven't decided" or "we want to see him/her before making a final decision".

:)

[miaclear]

We won't be telling, that's my plan anyhow. I also don't plan on finding out the sex. I love surprises and I think this is the ultimate :D We already have a name list we're working on and there are two girl names I'm glued to but the boy names are up in the air. When we do decide and we are pregnant I plan on giving the baby some nickname so that the real name won't slip. Hopefully a nickname that is descent enough that people would still be inclined to call her/him that after he/she is here.

On a side note my name is Amy but my grandma wished my mom named me Mia. She called me Mia anyhow :D

[Baby Lust]

We decided to keep our name a secret from everyone IRL except the grandparents-to-be. And when we told them, we said, this is the name we chose, we aren't looking for opinions, etc.

[Sevilla]

We kept it totally secret and i'm glad we did. Plan to do the same with future kids too :).

[jbenny75]

I was just telling DH that I didn't want to tell anyone our name choice (when we finally decide:rolleyes: ) because I didn't want to hear any comments. He thought I was being dumb and no one would ever be rude enough to say anything about our name choice.:rolleyes: Needless to say, he has no clue. I was firm with him that we weren't telling. I am so sick and tired of people asking me about his name, though. It's SO annoying. I feel like wearing a button that says, "No, he doesn't have a name yet."

[Heidi9771]

I voted yes. I can understand how some people don't want to deal with potential unfavorable reactions from others, but honestly, it wouldn't bother me because I have a short list of names that I absolutely love, and am so proud of. These names strike such a deep chord with me, and I realize it is such a personal thing, I am not phased to observe reactions that indicate it wouldn't be "their" first choice.

[Ohana]

When I was pg the first time around, I shared a couple of the names we were considering and the reaction I got was beyond negative. It became an attack on me as a person and my position in my "family".

So nope, we're not making that mistake again.

[marchfamily]

We shared names with the first (mainly because we wanted to pass on my brother's name that had passed away) - we got mixed results.

Second go round - they'll find out on her birthday. Although - my mom and sister are guessing correctly - but not spelling it the way we will.

[maplekitty]

Well...initially we wanted to keep the names secret. But because one of the names we like for a boy is a family name, and DH was going through the family tree with his mom, then MIL knew. So of course MIL spilled to everyone. Then we kind of decided on a girl name and I was being accosted by MIL and SIL and let it slip - so now they know. They are treating it like it's public knowledge, so I'm sure it won't stay secret for long.

We originally wanted to keep it mum because MIL poopoo'd SIL's names she choose for her baby and SIL got really upset and then kept further name choices from everyone. I was kind of worried our names would get poopoo'd by MIL too. She acts like she likes them, but who knows if its just an act because she got in trouble for being so opinionated on SIL's names, and now she knows better than to say anything negative.

I really don't mind telling people, but I guess because I wanted to find out the gender (and DH didn't), DH wanted *something* to be kept secret.

[jesseybell]

Our names were picked out way before we got pg, actually way before we even got married - I pretty much told DH he didn't have a choice about our girl name because it is the same name my mom wanted to name me and she caved in to my dad's desire not to name me it. And it just so happened that what we each wanted for a boy name is the same.

We don't call the baby the girl name yet - she is still just the baby.
We also told people that we really don't care what they think - we didn't want opinions and if they expressed them (negative ones) then that is just rude.