October 2003 Moms and Kids - II [Archive]

AlisonCO

09-21-2006, 08:59 AM

KERRYKATE said:

Erinn~ The girls are adorable! Look like you guys had a great time. Mia's hair looks so thick, Lauren's hair is pretty long but definitly not that thick!

Renrel~ Sorry to hear about your uncle. That's great did so well with his stitches!

Alison~ Happy (belated) b-day to Caitlin I can't believe she's a year already!

Things are going well here. Lauren is having a princess b-day party and she's sooo excited about it. We went to a b-day party a couple weeks ago and she invited EVERYONE to her party including the kids grandparents and neighbors. It's crazy that these kids are going to be 3 Lauren is so big I have been asked several times lately if she's 4 year old... She got on the scale the other day and she's 36 lbs and I think around 38-39 inches. She has her 3 year well visit in a couple weeks so we'll see. When I called to make the appt. the receptionist was very impressed that she hasn't had to come in since her 2 year well visit. We are very lucky that she's had such a healthy year (knocking on wood).

What are your kids dressing up like for Halloween?
Lauren has changed her mind several times from wanting to be a cat, a triangle , a ladybug, and her most recent is that she wants to be Tinkerbell hopefully that one will stick.

AlisonCO

09-21-2006, 08:59 AM

JENYFER said:

TJ is going to be Swiper the Fox for Halloween. Nothing else to say right now, but I totally forgot about scheduling his 3 year appointment. Ooops. Better do that I guess. He goes on his first field trip with his pre-school class on October 4th. They're going to a Pumpkin Farm.

AlisonCO

09-21-2006, 09:00 AM

ERINN said:

THanks for the compliments on the girls. I think they're adorable, but I'm a little biased

Kerrykate: Mia's hair is pretty thick already. It seems like every time she gets a hair cut it gets thicker.
Lauren is sooo tall!!! Mia got on the scale the other day and I was so excited that she's now 26 pounds . That means she gained weight since she was at the docs at 2.5 years.
A princess party sounds like a lot of fun. I didn't really offer that up as a choice this year since I figured we'd be doing those for the next few years.

Jenyfer: DH is taking Mia to a pumpkin farm for her birthday. I bet TJ has a blast.

Renrel: Sorry to hear about DH's uncle. How's Gabe doing since his stiches have come out?

Mia decided that she wants Ayla to go to the sitter's on Friday morning so she can spend the morning with just her and DH. He's going to take her to pick out a pumpkin and to have lunch. We'll have her open her presents from us that night. Then it's a Care Bear party on Saturday.

Halloween: Mia hasn't decided yet. I hope she does soon since I'm not crafty and may have to order something. Ayla's going to be a catapillar.

AlisonCO

09-21-2006, 09:02 AM

RENREL said:

Gabe has been fine since the stitches came out. You would not know he had a boo boo.

Not sure about halloween yet. Gabe tried on a dinasoure custume at Target which he wore for most of the shopping visit. He told me he was Franklin the Turtle, since from his point of view that was what he looked like (looking down at the bellyside of the custume. He made me go through the whole custume section looking for a Daddy size Franklin costume so that he could get it for Daddy's b-day party and they could match. Yes, Gabe is finally paying Daddy some attention. He likes things to match these days and he and daddy match because they are both boys. Gabe is also finally getting into hugs. He is not a hugging machine but he is no longer holding back on them like they were a precious commodity he might run out of. Though he still sometimes holds out until you give him one, saying he is all out until you fill him up.

I think we will do a Bob the Builder/construction theme party. I don't want to call it B the B because than we may end up with lots of B the B gifts and we now have most of the vehicals, talkies and take alongs, and the playsets are mostly junk. We got one last year and I just threw it out without every letting Gabe play with it. It was that bad. I could not get the thing to stay to gether so he certainly would not be able to. I am really not sure who to invite to the party. He thinks of the toddlers as his close friends, since he spent more time with them and they are mostly girls. I would like to have some of the new kids included and some boys but I am not sure who he plays with now and I don't want to make it a huge party either. 5-7 kids would be plenty. I am also not sure whether to have it outside the house and if so where. Our house is always a mess and I know better than to think it will get neat in time for the party but Gabe really want his friends to come visit him at his house.

Oh, and at the ER visit they weighed Gabe and he was only 30 pounds. I am not sure how tall he is but there is only one kid shorter than him in his class and she is two months younger, a girl and small for a girl. The rest are all at least 2 inches taller than him. The girls who just left for kindergarden liked to pick him up off the ground in a hug. Thats how small he is. sigh. At least it makes it easier on me when he wants to be carried around. I will ask at the 3 yr visit if we should be concerned but he seems health and active and well proportioned so unless the doc says there is a problem I am not worrying. He eats pretty well for a preschooler. His only big issue there is that he refuses nearly all green food but will eat peppers, carrots, peas, cole slaw and lima beans, which are at least pretty good vegis to like if you are going to limit yourself. Protein, dairy, carbs and protein are no problem.

AlisonCO

09-21-2006, 09:05 AM

JENYFER said:

We're having a Thomas the Tank Engine Party. Surprise surprise. We got one of those Birthday Express Catalogs (or whatever they are called) in the mail a couple of weeks ago, and TJ was looking at it and said "Look Mom, it's my Thomas Birthday." So, when we went to go pick out invites, he saw all the Thomas stuff and was thrilled. Of course, we went up the next aisle and they had Dora, so he had to get some Dora napkins. But it was funny because he says to me, "Mom, we only need Dora napkins. That's enough."

Renrel: I have sort of an off-topic question for you... my best friend is expecting her first, and she just got some questionable results from her big u/s... it could be something pretty major, it could be nothing. Is there anything that I could/should say to keep her calm? I don't want to stress her out if it's nothing, but I don't want to tell her everything will be alright if there's a chance it might not be. I feel like we've (she and I) have been talking about her pregnancy and her u/s quite frequently, so if I suddenly just don't talk about it it will definintely look like I'm avoiding the subject. I seem to remember that you had something like that come up during your pregnancy... any words of wisdom?

If anyone else has any ideas, I'm open! Thanks!

AlisonCO

09-21-2006, 09:13 AM

B-day party - We are doing the general construction party - this is the one that Aidan fell in love with in the Birthday Express catalog. He liked the Thomas and Bob ones also, but kept going back to the construction stuff.

Halloween - Aidan wants to be a police officer and I found a costume for $20 at the Party store. I think that I might pick it up and even if he changes his mind I can save it for dress up.

Have a great day!

Jenyfer9

09-21-2006, 10:30 AM

Don't you just LOVE those Birthday Express catalogs? TJ has been "reading" his since we got it. It goes EVERYWHERE with him. :)

Thanks for making the new thread, Alison! Looks great! :)

kerrykate

09-21-2006, 12:20 PM

Thanks for the new thread Alison:)

The B-day express catalog is where Lauren got the idea for a princess party. I was kind of suprised b/c she is really not that into the disney princesses. We have a few of the books but she hasn't seen any of the dvd's yet.

I decided to do a seperate party/play date for my friends and all their kids for Lauren b-day it's to chaotic to have friends and family at our house. So I booked a hayride and the kids get to pick out a pumpkin and have apple cider. Should be fun.

jay&erinn

09-22-2006, 03:39 AM

Alison: Thanks for the new thread!

Jenyfer: The abnormal ultrasounds I had with Ayla were pretty stressful. The people that helped the most were the ones that asked questions, but didn't add to my stress. They were concerned for us too, but didn't harp on the bad things that may be present. They also kept tabs on when my next ultrasound would be and made sure to call to see how it went. When I wanted to talk about my fears of having a not so perfect child, they listened. They didn't try to tell me everything would be OK. The ones that annoyed me were people that told me that they were sure everything would be fine (how did they know?), those that just didn't say anything (like the problems didn't exist), or those that kept asking why I wasn't insisting on seeing a specialist. DH's uncle is a retired OB and kept saying things like, this baby could have really bad problems. They may have to take the baby at 26 weeks, etc. Not helpful when you're trying to trust in your doc's recommendations. I hope your friend ends up worrying for nothing, like we did.

Renrel: How big are you and your DH? I'm only 5'1" but DH is 6'1". I was hoping Mia would get a little of his size, but at only 26 pounds, and easily 2-4 inches shorter than almost all of the kids her age, it doesn't look like it. Our ped isn't worried for now- he says that she'll most likely take after me.

It was a rough night. Ayla was up 3 times and so was Mia. She was complaining that her forehead hurt last night. She even listened to her stories with her eyes closed. I'm thinking she had a headache. We gave her tylanol. She called me around 10:30 and I laid with her for a little bit. Then I heard DH up with her a few hours later. Around 4:15 I got up with her again. I asked her if anything hurt and she said, "No Mommy. Daddy gave me medicine. I all better now." We don't give her much in the way of meds- it's probably been 9 months since she's had tylanol and the same thing happened- she was up and down all night long. She would have been perfectly happy getting out of bed at 4:15 this morning. I hope when she gets out of bed this morning she feels much better.

Jenyfer9

09-22-2006, 05:34 AM

Erinn: I guess I had forgotten that you had abnormal ultrasounds (that must have been during the time that both kids were sick for a month and I wasn't getting much sleep!). Thanks for the suggestions.. turns out, my friend called her doctor yesterday and the u/s tech didn't even mention anything on the u/s report, so my friend's doc sent her back for another u/s to calm her fears... and everything looked normal, so we can all breathe a sigh of relief.

Renrel

09-22-2006, 06:59 AM

Jenyfer - Sorry I did not get back to your post sooner. I wanted to wait till I got home and than last night was pretty crazy. What I remember appreciating most were people who provided support with no judment,who really made me feel as if they were there for us whatever we decided to do and that the fact that they might have made a different choice would not change how they thought and felt about us. (Though it is hard to do that unless you are a person who really is not judging and I understood that people were all trying to be helpful even if sometimes they were not.) I also appreciated those who could to give me factual information to help us decided how we were going to proceed. Links to websites or other data that related to our situation so we knew more and could feel we were making an educated guess as to what if anything were wrong. What our statistic really were. Any assistance in being put in touch with resources that might help were appreciated. And I can not tell you how much knowing that there were so many on line friends praying for and worrying about me and my family. All these strangers sending good caring vibes in my direction.

Errin - I am 5' 2" and DH is I think 5'6", so there is not much height in our genes. There is one grandfather who was tall and there is one very tall cousin on that grandfathers line. We keep hoping Gabe got some of those genes.

I have been dragging all week. I have one horrendous case I need to write which is months too long on my desk. I have been bring it home to work on it after Gabe is asleep and staying up too late working. Then I can't think straight in the morning. Today is a crazy day. It is DH birthday, MIL's b-day, Roshashona and Shabbot this evening, and pajama day at preschool. We are celebrating the holidays and b-days in RI this evening and staying over so I had to pack bags for the weekend. I had to bring in apples, honey and honey cake for a school sharing experience of Roshashona and I am taking Gabe to RI by train, which will be a new experience. It will all be fine if I could keep my eyes open. I am sure to forget something major the way I am feeling. I forgot to say happy b-day until we were up about an hour. I remembered to pack DH's present but have not wrapped it. I am not sure where the cards I bought him ended up.

Jen - I just read your post. I am glad everything looks good for your friend! What was it that they thought they saw?

mittyrd

09-23-2006, 10:11 AM

I only have a quick moment to sign up for the new thread since a baby is waking up from his nap. We are still having a terrible time with bedtime from jake and he has been ending up sleeping with us at some point during the night.

For his birthday we are doing a Blues Clues Jake-o-lantern party. Blues is the main theme but I am also hiding pumpkins for the kids to find and then decorate. I hope it is a nice day out!

Everything is going great, very busy though. I'll try to get on later to update more.

Renrel

09-24-2006, 07:28 PM

mittyrd - Sorry to hear bedtime is still a battle. How was Day out with Thomas?

We had a nice weekend at the inlaws. It was Roshashona and we had to big family dinners. Different BIL over each night. The Saturday and Sunday the BIL with the grade school and middle school kids was over and Gabe had a great time with them.

Highlights:
Gabe wore his first tie which matched Dad's but than decided he would rather stay home an play with grandma and his cousins then join us for services.

Gabe started leaving his bedroom for the first time so I expect bedtime will become more of a battle and that night visits may be happening soon. Tonight he told me he was "tired of sleeping":rolleyes:

Gabe took all his clothes off at grandma's house while playing with his cousins because he decided the sunken living room was a lake and that his clothes were wet from playing in it.

AlisonCO

09-24-2006, 07:55 PM

Hi all

leaving the room at night? Aidan does this every. single. night! It is actually funny because most of the time it is 5-10 minutes after I put him down. He opens the door, smiles and then runs back to bed. DH goes in and covers him up and says goodnight. It really has become part of his routine.

b-day parties? So I invited 4 boys to A's party but I know that 1 cannot come - I figure that 3 will be plenty. I ordered the Construction party stuff from Birthday Express last night and I am so glad that I did because it can take 10 business days to arrive. I think that we will do pizza, veggies and dip and fruit salad and of course cake and ice cream. I am glad that a couple of you mentioned doing something with pumpkins because I was trying to think of some sort of craft for them to do - I think that I will get each of them a small pumpkin and let them decorate them with sticker and markers. I am also hoping that it is a nice day so that they can play outside.

size - All of the men in both DH and my families are over 6 feet tall - DH's dad was 6-3 and his brother is 6-4 so I am expecting A to be pretty tall. The thing is they all were very late bloomers. My dad was small until the summer before his junior year of high school and he grew 5 inches. My one uncle who is 6-2 grew a foot throughout hs! Aidan has a very solid build right now - about 50% for height and weight but he is muscular. Caitlin right now is a string bean - tall and thin. She has a totally different body than Aidan.

erinn - We had a couple of rough nights recently also. It seems like my kids are always on the same wavelength - when C has a bad night, A is up usually too. Hope that you got some sleep.

mittyrd - I hope that things with Jake and bed get better soon.

Renrel - I am glad that you all had a nice time with your inlaws. Gabe has quite an imagination!

jenyfer - The Birthday Express catalog has become Aidan's favorite reading material when trying to poop on the potty:)

Hope that everyone has a great week!

Renrel

09-25-2006, 06:11 AM

After I put Gabe back in his bed last night and made it clear that he did have to stay in his room I found him sleeping in his crib this morning. He has not done that in well over a month. I think he finds it comforting and I am guessing it was a bit scary/upsetting to have mommy and daddy insist he stay in his room when he wanted to come out and play. He also did not get dessert last night because he would not taste the sauce that went with the pasta which he continued to be upset about all through his bath and half of bedtime.

DH has a business trip tonight and his flight does not leave until close to 1pm. He told Gabe he would take him to school this morning. It is usually me. Then Gabe had a melt down because he wanted french toast for breakfast and we would not make any on a school morning. I think DH regretted his offer since he got to deal with the melt down while I left for work.

mittyrd

09-25-2006, 04:48 PM

Renrel: Day out with Thomas was great. Jake had so much fun. He's still talking about it. It was a long ride though - took us 2 hours to get there but I think it was worth it.

Bedtime: Still a major problem. In fact, I can hear him in his room now playing and he keeps coming out of his room. He also ends up coming into our room in the middle of night, gathering up DH's stuff (pillow, blanket) and pulling them back to his room so DH would go in and sleep with him. It's been a real problem. And it's making me nuts.

Jake has finally mastered drinking out of a straw. Yay! The babies are doing it now too.

I booked a time for pictures for the boys for this weekend. I'm not very hopeful that I will get all 3 to smile at the same time but we'll give it another try. I really, really want to get a good picture of all 3 together.

The babies start their new daycare Monday. I know their current daycare provider is so upset to see them go but that was the deal from the very beginning. Still, I feel so bad for her and her husband. He is taking 2 days off this week to spend with them before they go. I am worried that the boys are going to miss her so much although I think they will be happy being with Jake all day too. I know I'll worry all day Monday.

I can't remember, did we discuss Halloween costumes yet? The babies are going to be pumpkins since I happen to have 2 pumpkin costumes in their size. I'm trying to decide what Jake will be. I want to coordinate it somehow with the pumpkin theme but not sure what yet. Maybe a scarecrow.

Renrel

09-25-2006, 06:30 PM

DH is out of town and I took Gabe to the libary tonight and we had dinner at the cafe there. I got some really good childrens book in the used book sale. Tonight when I put Gabe to sleep he crawled into his crib as soon as I told him it was time for me to leave. He seems to find some comfort in the crib. This is not great timing since I was planning on finally getting him a real big boys bed this month. He has been sleeping just fine on the blow up travel bed till now. I guess the crib is better than him coming out of his room a hundred times a night like some of your kids but it is still a step backward. Tomorrow he had a field trip to the fire station. That should be a fun one.

kerrykate

09-27-2006, 06:15 PM

Getting out of bed... She had been doing great then all the sudden a couple months ago she would get out of bed and come in our room and instead of getting in bed with us she would wake me up and want me to go in her room and sleep in her bed with her. The first night I told her I would put her back in her bed but I wasn't going to sleep with her and she had a big melt down so I got into bed and layed with her until she fell back asleep then got back in my own bed. This happened off and on for about 2 weeks except I would just go and get in bed with her to avoid the meltdown. I finally had a talk with her before bed one night and told her she's not allowed to get out of bed to get me to come in her room and she asked why, why, why, etc. And to my jaw dropping amazment she hasn't been out of bed since. Now a few nights ago I woke up to her yelling for me to come and get in bed with her, but at least she didn't get out of bed:rolleyes:

I went and got her 3 year pictures taken yesterday even though she won't be 3 until next week and when I walked in to pick up the pictures, they had the picture below in a 10x13 sitting there and I almost started to well up when I saw it because she looks so grown up... I love it though.
http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid215/p0cd91002ec1ebeaeb91afd2c9bdc9c9f/ecc62fb1.jpg

Renrel

09-27-2006, 06:41 PM

OHHHH that picture is absolutely wonderful!!! They are getting so grown up looking though aren't they. sniff sniff

I just need to post this next part to get it out.

My dad just called a few minutes ago. My grandmother (93y/o) is in the hospital. She broke her arm last week and then this morning she slumped over and they could not wake her up. At the hospital the found all of her number (sugar, blood pressure and such) are all bad and she had an infection. My mother was in the ER with her waiting for an ICU bed when my Dad called. Grandma has been living in an assisted living complex with a wonderful living aid but the aid recently quit and the new aids are not any where near as good. If grandma leaves the hospital it is likely she will have to go to the nursing home rather than to her little apartment. I don't think she will last long in that case. Too depressing there. I think her will to live will die out over there. She moved into this assisted living place when I got married and at that time she was also hospitalized and ended up in the nursing home because she forgot how to walk while in the hospital. We did not think she was going to be around much longer at that time, but once she realized that if she got better she would go to the assisted living apartment instead of stay in the nursing home she tried to get better and did. It makes me sad to think of how my mother is feeling right now and scared to think that one day I will be in her shoes with my parents. I don't even want to think about Gabe one day being in those shoes.

OK sob story over.

Gabe went to the Fire Station with preschool yesterday and had a great time. He sat in the fire engine and pretended to drive it. He got a fire hat, stickers and a coloring book. The learned about stop, drop roll, staying near the floor if it is smoky and not hiding from the firemen even if they look scary in their masks.

kerrykate

09-27-2006, 07:52 PM

Renrel~ I can totally relate, my almost 89 y/o Grandma is going through something similar. She has a little apartment at an assisted living community and recently became ill with bronchitis and had to be hospitilized b/c they thought it would turn into pnenmonia. Last week she became well enough and gained enough strength to be released from the hospital although she needs round the clock care. She has a nurses aid that is with her from 8am - 8pm and another aid to stay with her throughout the night. The cost is close to $10,000 a month and my dad and his siblings are afraid they are going to have to move her to a nursing home because this is costing so much money, although a nursing home is still a lot of $$$. My parents flew out to see her and my mom was telling me how hard it was on my dad seeing her like this. She has always been so active and independent and now she needs help bathing and dressing. She has told us that she is ready to pass and we really thought this illness would be it, but she managed to pull through and hopefully your Grandma will too.

AlisonCO

09-27-2006, 08:13 PM

Oh kerrykate that picture IS wonderful!! Lauren does look so grown up and beautiful. Her smile is amazing - I can only hope that Aidan will smile for the camera when we go for his 3y pics:)

Renrel - Hugs to you - my 90yo grandfather passed away last spring so I can relate. For me the saddest part was watching my dad and his siblings. I do hope that your grandma is pain-free and at peace. I also thought about the fact that I will someday be dealing with this, but I cannot even let my mind go to my kids or my DH being in this situation.

I can't remember, did we discuss Halloween costumes yet?

I bought Aidan the police officer costume this weekend ( that he has been wanting for a couple of weeks) and Tuesday morning he told me that he wants to be a doctor:) Caitlin will be a frog (Aidan's costume from 2 years ago.)

Renrel

09-28-2006, 06:36 AM

The phone rang around 7:30am and I knew what it had to be. My mom called. My grandmother passed this morning shortly after midnight. Mom told me that just before they had to rush her to the hospital she had her hair permed. My dad commented that she lived like a lady till the end. She had a DNR order but the assisted living home could not find it so the EMT put a tube in her in the ambulance and recessitated. My mother thought this was unfortunate since her last hours could have been less painful. But at the hospital they had a good doctor who told them he would do as they wished. They gave her a mophine drip to keep her comfortable and sat with her till the end.

The funeral will either be tomorrow or Sunday. My little sister is vacationing in Jamacia, so they need to reach her and see how quickly she can get back. I am trying to figure out when we will go down, tonight or tomorrow. I will probably leave work early today to pack us up. Yom Kippor starts Sunday night which makes everything even harder. Fasting while mourning will be hard and it also makes it next to impossible for us to travel Sunday evening or Monday night. DH might not stay down as long as I will, depending on what kind of leave time he gets at his new job. He might leave Sunday during the day if the service is Tomorrow, but I think I will stay until Tuesday to give my Mom some support.

I have not said anything to Gabe yet. Not sure what to say. He new his GG but not that well. We have pretty much shyed away from talking about death with him. When talking about relatives who have died before he was born we have just said they went away because they were very very old.

I was late getting into work today, luckily I did not have a case first thing. I also forgot my purse at home with my cell phone, money, drivers licence and Work ID. Lucky no guards asked to see it at daycare or a work this morning.

Renrel

09-28-2006, 07:28 AM

I just checked my Union Contract and it looks like I am entitled to one day off for the funeral and 4 paid days of bereavement leave to be taken within 30 days. I need to think through what time I may need other than to sit shiva with my Mom.

On a more cheerful note. Last night Gabe earned a yellow jelly bean by using the toilet instead of his potty but did so after lights out. No jelly beans after teeth brushing so I told him he could have it this morning. This morning the first words out of his mouth after maybe a minutes of nursing were "Wheres my yellow jelly bean?!?" One track mind this kids has.

I have been thinking about how Gabe is suddenly sleeping in his crib again after we scolded him for coming out of his room after lights out because he did not want to sleep. By scold I mean we very firmly and sternly told him he had to stay in his room. We did not tell him he was bad or threaten to punish him or anything. When I have asked him why he is sleeping in his crib he tell me because he is afraid we will come. So I asked what he thinks will happen if we come. "You will take me out of my room." is his answer. Now that makes no sense of course, since he wants out of his room and we want him in his room. I have a feeling though that he is feeling a strong tug between what he wants to do - leave his room- and what he knows he is expected to do - stay in his room. I think being in his crib, which has walls to it and was a place he never left on his own, decreases the conflict between these two feelings because it makes it harder for him to leave his room. He also probably has some difficulty understanding that we and he want different things since he still seems think that depriving himself of one thing he wants will get us to give him the other things he wants. (You want give me a snack in the car so I am not going to listen to a song either!) So maybe that is part of the "fear" we will take him out of his room. His trying to get his head around another point of view than his own.

AlisonCO

09-28-2006, 08:34 AM

Renrel - I am so very sorry for your loss - your family will be in my thoughts!

Renrel

09-28-2006, 09:03 AM

I just talked to my Mom and the funeral is grave side tomorrow at 2pm. We will drive down this evening and stay with my mom. The two cousin ages 4 and 4.5 are not attending because they are asking ackward questions no one is ready to answer. I hope Gabe is OK. I need to go home and pack and figure out if we are leaving before or after rush hour and when to pick Gabe up.

If you all don't mind I would like to say a bit about my grandmothers life to get my thoughts in order.

She was born in Russia where she lived in a dirt floor home. She had one older sister. Her father came to America on his own with the intent of bring his family over after he was settled. He met another woman and almost did not bring them over. The relative who sponsored him made him do right by his family and bring them over, but he did divorce my great grandmother. My great grandmother first brought herself and her daughters to Romania where they lived in a synague for awhile. My grandmother being young learned language quickly and helped her do shopping at the open market. She learned to negotiate a deal at a very early age. They eventual came over to America, I forget which port they entered but they did not come steerage as many did.
She survived being a greenhorn as they called new immigrants in her neighborhood and the child of a divorcee. She studied bookkeeping and got a job which she managed to keep through the depression. I think she worked for a company that did promotional work, like free calendars. Getting clients and things like that. She learned about the stockmarket from a friend and learned to invest. She bought a two or three family brownstone and became a landlady. My mom did not like being the landladies daughter.
She had two daughter and one son. The son was/is learning disabled. She miscarried twins. Her daughter grew up. My mom went to college and became a teacher. Both daughers married and are still married to the same men today. My mom had three daughter, my aunt a daughter and a son. All 5 of these grandchildren went to college and got degrees. All got married and are still married to the same spouse. Together they gave my grandmother 9 grandchildren ranging in age from under 6mths to around 9. The oldest are twins. My grandmother was married for more than 50 years before my grandfather passed away. She missed him greatly. After he passed my mother and aunt helped get my uncle into a half way home for learning disabled adult. My grandmother lived on her own until she was in her late 80's. She fell and hurt herself just before my wedding and my mother and aunt forced her to move to a wonderful assisted living community in their town, right next to where my mom works. She was not happy about the move and became ill. She ended up in a nursing home and my mom and aunt did not think she was going to recover. She was unable to attend my wedding. The only one of all the grandkids which she missed. I wore her engagement ring during the wedding ceremony. She did recover and has been very happy in her little apartment for the last 5 years. She has had reasonbly good health given her age. She enjoyed playing cards and other activities. Her health declined alot over the summer and my mom knew that this would be her last year with us, so when she passed last night it was not a suprise or a shock. My mom was expecting it. So my Grandmother had a long and full life. She was a fighter and a survivor. I share a birthday with her and I was named for her mother. I will carry a piece of her with me for the rest of my life and can only hope that I will have the strenth she did to survive the adversities that life brings so that I may live to enjoy the blessing it also brings.

Jenyfer9

09-28-2006, 09:57 AM

Renrel: I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother. I think that our kids are at a strange age right now where they can't really grasp the concept of death, but they may be able to understand that they won't see the person anymore. We had a neighbor suddenly pass away over the winter, and while I think TJ knows that he won't see "Tom" anymore, he still talks about "Tom's house" (the kids play in the yard to this day because the new owners don't mind).

Renrel

09-28-2006, 10:16 AM

Any suggestions on how to talk to Gabe about this would be appreciated. I don't really want to say GG is sleeping because that could make sleep scary. I am not sure what to say if he asks what is going on grave side. The idea of a person being buried in a box is not one I want him dwelling on. But what can I say is happening that will make any sense?

jay&erinn

09-28-2006, 01:27 PM

Renrel: I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. She sounds like she was a very strong woman- a great role model during a time when women often took a back seat to men. What a wonderful person to have in your life for so long.
I wish I could give you some ideas for Gabe. I think this is a really tough age to discuss death- too old to just accept a simple explaination, and too young to really understand. Maybe you could just explain that when people get really old, their body doesn't work anymore. So a special part of them goes to live with God (if this is what you believe, of course) and they don't need their bodies anymore. That it's both a happy and sad time (so he's prepared for people to be upset) and that he'll get to talk about his grandmother a lot and remember all the good things he liked about her. Not sure if that's much help.

This morning the first words out of his mouth after maybe a minutes of nursing were "Wheres my yellow jelly bean?!?"
Don't they have amazing memories already! Mia doesn't forget anything- especially when it involves candy.

Alison: So, are you changing A's costume? They'd be great dress up clothes if you do- so at least it won't go to waist. I'm going to buy Mia's care bear costume tomorrow- just enough time for her to change her mind too.

kerrykate: Lauren looks so grown up. I love the picture. I pick up Mia's pictures tomorrow. The first comment out of DH's and my mouth when we saw the proofs was how old she looked. I almost wish I had put her hair in ponytails or something to make her look younger.

The parties this weekend were crazy and good at the same time. Mia received tons of stuff. She LOVES the digital camera we bought her. I think it's made by fisher price for ages 3+. She picked up on how to use it in about 5 minutes and takes pictures of everything (furniture, people, animals, the wall). She still has a little difficulty getting people in the middle of the frame and cuts a lot of heads off, but it's been great. My ILs bought her an electric car- I'm not crazy about it, but so far she really likes it. Although, I hope she learns to drive a little better by the time she hits 16.

Mia had her 3 year appt today. She's 35 inches tall and 26 pounds with clothes on:rolleyes: . 25th percentile for both.

I had a few questions about Ayla while we were there. She's been having mucus and bits of blood in her diapers. I cut out dairy products about a month ago and some things improved (her eczema cleared up within a week), but she still is really gassy and uncomfortable- plus I guess the mucus and blood are a form of diahhrea in infants. She's also had pure water bowel movements fairly frequently. The doc wants me to cut out all dairy, soy, wheat, eggs, nuts and seafood for 2 weeks and then gradually add them back in to see what might be causing the problem. UGH. I thought giving up dairy was tough. I have no idea what to eat now besides fruits, veggies, chicken, pork and turkey (apparently beef can cause a problem if dairy does too, so he also recommended cutting that for now). This should be interesting.

mittyrd

09-28-2006, 04:56 PM

Renrel: I am so sorry about your grandmother. I wouldn't even know where to begin discussing death with our kids. Honestly, I don't think jake would get it but Gabe is so well-spoken and seems to understand a lot more so maybe he would understand more.

This is something I worry about too all the time. My grandma will be 95 on tuesday and we are having a huge party next sunday. She has always insisted on not having a huge party b/c she thinks that is old ladies way of saying goodbye. But she keeps inviting more people - we are up to 60. She has not been sick, lives by herself but I think this is her way of getting everyone together 1 more time to say good bye. Sounds very morose, I know, but just a feeling I have. Makes me very sad but she has lived a very long, healthy life. Hopefully, I am wrong.

Kerry: What a beautiful picture!! We are having the boys pictures done on Saturday. I really hope I get at least 1 good one of all 3 together.

The babies start daycare with Jake on Monday. I feel so guilty about them leaving their daycare provider. She is so upset. I know the babies are going to miss her too.

AlisonCO

10-03-2006, 01:49 PM

Renrel - I was thinking about you and hoping that your family is doing well!

erinn - I am not changing the costume - if he really changes his mind, then I will save the poilce officer costume for x-mas.

I am busy planning and getting things ready for Aidan's party Sunday - of course I think that we are all getting colds. They seem to be very mild so I can only hope that we are all done by the weekend. I received all of the supplies from B-day Express yesterday and they are great. I ordered the construction site cake this morning.

So everytime I think that we are making progress with the potty learning things go backwards. Now Aidan does great when he isn't wearing undies, but as soon as you put undies or a Pullup on, he pees. I ask him every 10 minutes or so and he still does it. In good news he is peeing standing up in the big toilet - so much more convienent:)

Hope that you all are doing well.

Renrel

10-03-2006, 05:43 PM

Hi all. I am back. The funeral and shiva went well I guess. I enjoyed the words my mom, sister and cousin said at the funeral which was grave side. Shiva was at my aunts house right after the funeral and at my Moms the next two days. There were alot of visitors the first day and not too many the second two. Just my mom's work friends and two neighbors. Everyone else was out of town apparently.

Gabe did great. He asked a few questions but was satisified with my answers, though he asked and we answered several times. I told him that GG was very old and her body was used up and did not work anymore so her spirit needed to leave it. Since he saw them burying the coffin I told him that this is how we give back a body when it is used up. But I doubt he really understood that there was a body in the coffin, which was fine and good. I told him the Shiva was a party for every one who loved GG to say good bye to her and remember her. I also told him it was for helping those who were sad to say good bye feel better. But no one was showing much saddness. She was ready to go and it was expected.

Two of the cousins around age 4-5 when told that they would not see GG anymore, that she was gone asked if they could get a new GG. :) So sweet.

The really hard part will come now. My mother and aunt dividing up her estate. My mom feels my aunt and her children always somehow get the best stuff and it eats at her. Though my grandmother had a house full of beautiful and valuable aniques none of them really match my style. I would not know where to put them so I don't show much interest in them. I told her I would like my grandmothers engagement ring because I wore it at my wedding when she could not attend so that she would be there in spririt. She also wants me to take her silver. When she was alive and still living in her house she gave me her crystal and a tea pot.

Gabe slept in the big boy bed at my mom's house and did pretty good, though he left the room a few times. Once, after DH and I were in bed he apparently got out of bed and went downstairs himself and startled my father. When my Dad asked what he was doing there he told him that he heard someone sneeze (me) and wanted to say bless you. :rolleyes:

OH, we also had an issue because he refused to use the potty ring and needed desperately to poop. DH and my father when out at 8:30pm in search of a potty at target. Gabe refused to try to go until they got back. He went immediately when they returned. The next night he could not go poop again and about an hour after he fell asleep he appeared to be having a night terror. Thrashing around and crying. Eventually I was him grunt and push out a poop. Then he woke up. I think he was a bit embarrased and as I held him to reassure him he told me sometimes preschools go poop in their pull ups.

One more interesting story. We have a word family book on words with the Uck ending, like duck and truck. At the end of the book you ask the child if they can think of any other words that are in that family. Guess which letter Gabe decided to try first to make a new uck work??? Yep. The lovely F word. He had no idea what he was saying, he makes up words all the time for ryming but it was a bit embarrasing all the same.

kerrykate

10-04-2006, 07:00 PM

Renrel~ I'm sorry sorry your Grandma passed away. I hope you all find peace at this difficult time.
Unfortunatly I probably won't be far behind you, just as my Grandma was getting well again, she had a massive stroke on Sunday night. She is completely limp on her left side, she can't swallow, and is refusing a feeding tube. They have moved her to hospice.

Today is Lauren's 3rd b-day, I can't believe my baby is 3. We did a hayride yesterday with my friends and all their kids. Their were 9 kids total and Lauren was the only girl. It was a lot of fun, they each got to pick out a pumpkin after the hayride. Today we went to her paint, paste, and play class, then we went to the park and McDonalds for lunch. We have a busy week, tomorrow is my 30th b-day I'm not sure how I feel about it... We're going out to eat, then friday we are having dinner at my parents house, Saturday we have a wedding to go to, then Sunday is Lauren's big party with my family and dh's.
From newborn - 3:
http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid216/p6b4ea7445414e9f4e13d5c3572351735/ecaceaf3.jpg
http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid216/pbea36a9aa52231bc1e2061ff548fa314/ecad15a9.jpg
1 y/o: http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid216/p5efc9fceed6b843ff7f80148e2332c83/ecad0a31.jpg
2 y/o: http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid216/p48289553dc3b8874523c2ba8f62e67e8/ecacf80a.jpg
3 y/o: http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid215/p0cd91002ec1ebeaeb91afd2c9bdc9c9f/ecc62fb1.jpg

Jenyfer9

10-05-2006, 05:49 AM

Goodness, Kerrykate. I'm all teary eyed thinking that our little ones are not so little anymore! :( When I look at the pics of L though, you can totally tell it's the same kid, right from that second pic!

Perhaps I'll find some pics of TJ and post them here. It's been awhile since you all have seen pics I think. :)

mittyrd

10-05-2006, 05:36 PM

KerryKate: Sorry to hear about your grandmother. Hopefully, this time will be peaceful for her. The pictures of Lauren are beautiful. She looks like such a big girl!

The twins had their 15 month checkup on Tuesday. Despite eating like little piglets, the boys did not grow since their 12 month checkup. Sam was at a dead stop for height and weight and Matt grew an inch but did not gain in weight. I'm having a hard time believing that since they feel heavier and their clothes seem more snug. They were on different scales from last time but we could not get them to sit on the other scale. So we are now doing calorie counts and they will go back for a reweigh in 6 weeks. If they do not show any growth by then, she will start doing blood work and tests to see if there is something metabolic going on. Ugh.

Other than that, they started their new daycare on Monday. Now they are with Jake and it seems to be going really well. Jake seems to be very excited to have them with him.

Renrel

10-05-2006, 07:13 PM

Kerrykate - I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother. I hope her remaining time in peaceful and pain free.

Having recently completed my 30's decade I can tell you it was the best so far (I can't really comment on the 40's yet. To me it was a time when I was finaly comfortable in my skin. I had a pretty good idea of who I was and who I would like to be and stopped worrying so much about what other people thought. It was a bit hard being single until the very end of the decade but even so I thought it was a awesome 10 years.

I love the pics in review. She is such a beautiful child.

Mittyrd - I am sorry the twins have you worried. I will keep my fingers crossed that it is just they way they are and nothing to worry about.

--
I took the day off from work today. I had bereavement time coming to me and used it to catch up on stuff I could not do this weekend. I took Gabe shoe shopping. He still is fitting in the sneakers we bought him about 5 months ago. I bought him knew ones a half size bigger anyway. He will outgrow these soon and I don't have time to reshop for him. I also got him froggy rain boots and good snow boots. And a soft frisbee he loves and brought to school with him. After I dropped him off I returned stuff from my last shopping spree and bought a few replacements for stuff that was too big. I hate that my 3 y/0 can still wear 18 mth pants. I also called around to find a b-day place. I found a indoor playspace that sounds nice. It is not that close to us but is doable and for $200 10 kids get an hour of playtime in a space that has a huge climber and treehouse and stage where they can see themselves on tv and lots of other stuff and then 45 minutes in a party room for pizza, cake and present openning. The kids can then go back to the playspace if they want, but it will be pretty late by then. Now i need to come up with a guest list tonight and put save the date notes in cubbies until I get the invitations next week. I figure if I invite 20 kids we will get around 10 given the short notice, how busy weekends are, and how everyone lives all over since daycare is close to work and not homes. The place provides a host/hostess so we will not need to do much. If I had a house I would just do a house party but in the apartment it is just to hard.

mittyrd

10-07-2006, 05:54 PM

We had Jake's party today and it was a great success. I had a hard time getting him down for a nap before the party and I had to wake him up since he was sleeping at the time the party was to start. He was pretty out of it for the beginning but warmed up after a few minutes. A couple of the kids from his daycare that no longer go there came and he was so excited to see them. After everyone got there the kids found the pumpkins and we decorated them. It was so much fun! The kids had such a blast, it was soooo cute to watch. I bought those foamie stickers and washable markers for decorating. Jake LOVED the markers and was the 2nd to last kid left at the pumpkin decorating table still coloring the pumpkin. I bought a Blues Clues "pull apart" cake which was a handy hint given to me by a fellow twin mom and it was the best idea. It looks like a sheet cake but is made of cupcakes so you don't have to deal with cutting the cake. And I used hoodsie cups too. It worked out perfect. In the middle of eating his cake and ice cream, Jake yells out to me "Mama, I'm happy!" :D We didn't open the presents b/c I thought Jake would get too overwhelmed with it and the other kids wouldn't understand why they weren't getting them. By the time we got in and had dinner, we only let him open 1 present so we will be opening the rest in the morning. So, all in all it was a great success and I am really proud of how it well it went. It helped that we ended up having perfect weather too.

Hope the birthday kids have great parties tomorrow!

Jenyfer9

10-08-2006, 05:49 AM

Mittyrd: what are "hoodsie" cups?

mittyrd

10-08-2006, 03:39 PM

Jenyfer: They are called hoodsie cups out here - I'm sure they must have a name out there. They are 1/2 cup servings of ice cream, half vanilla, half chocolate.

Jenyfer9

10-08-2006, 06:10 PM

Ah. The ones with the wooden spoons. At least they used to come with wooden spoons. Got it.

Glad the party was a success!

AlisonCO

10-08-2006, 07:35 PM

I am so sorry that I haven't been this week so:

HAPPY 3rd Birthday LAUREN!!!

HAPPY 30th BIRTHDAY KERRYKATE!

HAPPY 3rd BIRTHDAY JAKE!!!

I love what KK did so here is mine:

Aidan - 3 days old
http://www.allsam.com/OCT2003/images/Oct%2011_08.jpg

Aidan - 6 months old
http://www.allsam.com/APR26_2004/images/26APR04_16.jpg

Aidan - 1 year old
http://www.allsam.com/Oct082004/images/08OCT04_02.jpg

Aidan - 2 years old
http://www.allsam.com/OCT2005/images/102505_09.jpg

Aidan - 3 years old
http://www.allsam.com/SEP2006/images/090906_02.jpg

We had a great day today. This morning we had 3 boys over and they played pin the wrench on Bob, decorated pumpkins, ate pizza and cake and played with his new toys. He got a playdoh set, a big ambulance and a Curious George book. Then this afternoon we did part 2 with my family. He got a tool/work bench, a Thomas book and new engine, a John Deere tractor set with animals in a fence and the Curious George movie. He was so good all day. I think that this morning when I woke up I was more shocked that he is 3, than I was when Cailtin turned 1. Somedays it seems like 3 years has gone by so quickly (of course there are other days where is seems like a long 3 years:).) What an amazing kid he is - so smart and funny, quick and sillly, loving and sensitive.

renrel - I'm glad that funeral went well and that Gabe handled everything OK. Gabe's party sounds like it is going to be a blast.

kerrykate - I'm glad that your parties went well - hope that you enjoyed your b-day! I love your picture progression - L has always been such a cutie!

mittyrd - It sounds like Jake's party went well - hope that M and S start gaining weight! Caitlin is tiny and is only in the 5% for weight. I feel a bit stressed about weight gain also.

They are 1/2 cup servings of ice cream, half vanilla, half chocolate.
The ones with the wooden spoons. At least they used to come with wooden spoons.

I remember those - I didn't know that they still made them. My mom was never a baker so she used to bring those in for my school class parties. Our local dairy delievered them the morning of my party - they were so good!

Renrel

10-09-2006, 08:11 PM

Not a good month in my family. DH uncle, his mom's only sibling, passes away last night or this morning, I forget which. The funeral is tomorrow. DH is going down with is parents for the day. It was too much driving for me to go and bring Gabe. They are not sitting shiva till next week because it is the holiday of Succot (aka feast of the tabernacals) and the mitzva to celebrete outweight the mitvah to mourn with your community. His uncle had been ill for a long time so this was in many ways a relief. He is no longer suffering. Still I feel bad for his wife, son and my MIL. They will miss him.

Other than that it was a nice weekend. DH and Gabe did a Home Depo project. IT was the most complex one so far, a fire engine bank. Gabe maintained interest though the whole project, showed more pride in it than any of the other s and has actually played with it. Tonight he and I painted it together- purple and green. DH and I had a movie date Saturday. We say Departed which was great. A teacher from school babysat and they had fun too. We did some house hunting and Gabe got in alot of playground time. Today I picked up hoodies sundeas for his school party and glider planes for a favor. I am not sure why I felt the need to have an out of school party when the friends are all from school but I did. So that is next Sunday, the same day my niece is having her party in NJ. MY parents will go there and my inlaws don't want to participate in a kiddie party.

Renrel

10-11-2006, 06:34 AM

Gabe turned 3 today at 7:51 this morning. I feel very sad. My baby is growing up. The last two night he even chose to have a bedtime snack instead of to nurse. I do want him to wean in the very near future but given that I really wanted to have that moment with him his last night being 2. And suddenly he is talking about being 10, 14, 20. Just numbers to him of course but again it makes me sad. When I told him not to grow up so fast he, in a very serious concerned voice, told me that he has to grow. So worried that I was telling him to not to do something he could not help, and confused since we always talk about eatting and sleeping and exercising so he can grow because it is good to grow big.

Last night he had to go potty at bedtime, like usual. He had to poop which is less usual. To encourage him to be fast about it I refused to read a book. Instead I gave him his leap frog school bus (like a leap pad for younger kids) which he usually gets bored with after about 5-15 minutes and left him alone. He usually wants company and will finish quickly if we don't give it to him. He sat on the toilet for 30-40 minutes before I made him get off. I told him he could return to the potty when and if he had to go again, instead of waiting for more poop. So 5-10 minutes after he was in bed he got out again and I had to let him sit again, since I had told him he could. I don't remember how long he sat that time but I almost had him in bed at a little after 9 last night (good for us) and instead he was finally in bed close to 10:30, the same time we were. So of course he is tired and cranky for his birthday today.

We woke him up singing happy birthday and he started crying because it was not snack time and that was when that song was supposed to be sung. Sigh.

AlisonCO

10-11-2006, 06:54 AM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GABE!!!

Renrel - I'm so sorry that you had another loss in your family - thinking about your DH's family! Have a happy day celebrating the birthday of your wonderful child!!!

Jenyfer9

10-11-2006, 08:10 AM

Happy Birthday Gabe!

I think that I'm the one with the youngest kiddo here. TJ doesn't turn 3 until the 23rd.

kerrykate

10-11-2006, 01:27 PM

Happy Birthday Gabe:D
Renrel~ I'm so sorry for the loss of your dh's uncle.
Alison~ Great pics, it's amazing how fast time goes.

Lauren had a blast at her princess party on Sunday and got some great things.
A couple hours before the party we found out my Grandma passed away. My cousin was with her and said she was very peaceful. I'm flying out to Albuquerque on Sunday for the viewing and funeral. It just seemed too tough to drag Lauren all the way out there so she and dh are staying home. I don't think it's hit me yet that she's gone, she was my last living grandparent and I'll miss her dearly.

She had her 3 year well visit today. And WOW, she was much bigger than I expected. Her height is 39 3/4" and weight is 39 lbs. From her 2 year well visit she has grown 3 1/2" and gained almost 10 lbs! She's 95-97% for both height and weight. The doctor said she is perfectly perportioned and is in the 50% for a 4 year old already... Good Lord at this rate she is going to be taller than me by the time she's 6.
Here are a few pics,
Playing dress up with her creepy new "life like" cinderella doll that she LOVES:
http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid216/p4a545a1b62c148e395800d718ca0e959/ec91aef4.jpg
Princess party decorations:
http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid216/p7ec14e9edf6be09a702b4d656f232ac4/ec91aef3.jpg
A friend of mine made this great cake for her and it was hilarious to see the boys wearing tiaras, it'll be fun to tease them with the pics when they're 16:
http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid216/p7b0ff55947e17646b344dce6ec2fc872/ec91aef2.jpg
A picture from a wedding we went to on Saturday:
http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid216/p50946d3799989bc5bb4d4e67871c7bba/ec91adf8.jpg

mittyrd

10-11-2006, 04:54 PM

Happy Birthday, Gabe!

KerryKate: I'm sorry about your grandmother :( I love the pictures of your beautiful girl!

Alison: Aidan is so cute!!

The boys were all playing earlier and as I was watching, my sweet little Matt became really aggressive with Jake (hitting him over the head with legos) and then with Sam (slapping him in the face over and over). I couldn't believe it. I had to separate him from the other 2. Wow, is this starting early, or what?

Renrel

10-12-2006, 09:37 AM

mittyrd - Yikes! That does seem young for such aggression. Is anything goint on whicy might be making Matt feel insecure or like the others are stealing his attention/time?

kerrykate - Great photos. That doll is scary though. Can you sent alittle of that height over here? I am scared to find out how tall Gabe is at our appointment on Monday.

Gabe's school party went well. When Gabe arrived at school the other birthday kid came over to give him a hug. The kids must have really liked the cake and ice cream since they were very quiet during snack. Gabe loved getting to put sprinkles on everything. After school we went to an upscale grocery store and he picked out a small fruit tart for his birthday caken and a box of mac and cheese for dinner. (They were to be eatten together for dinner) and vegis from the salad bar for dessert. During dinner he decided the cake was all his and would not share it. We let him have his way, he normally wants to share everything, even if we don't want any. He decided he did not need dessert. :rolleyes:
Then he openned his present- a Black and Decker workbench. He and DH had a great time putting it together together. There is still a bit to do but DH was too tired to finish it last night. Gabe did a great job hammering the nails into the holes.

This morning he had his first denist appointment. He started off pretty well, though he was a bit wary of the dental hygenist. But half way through he decided he did not like it and fussed abit. The Dental Hygenist however said he did great. Better than the 7 year old they had in before him. His teeth are fine, though he may have some issues in the future do to how closely packed they are. We are suppose to start moving towards floride toothpaste.

I finally got the invitation for his party from the playspace where we are hosting it. I delivered them to the school cubbie holes today. So far his two best friends from the toddler class can't make it. We have one definate, one most likely and one who needs to figure out what to do with their oldest child before they can commit to bringing the two younger ones.

jay&erinn

10-13-2006, 04:00 AM

I'm sure now that I've managed to try and post, one of the girls will wake up.:rolleyes:

Renrel: My thoughts are with your family. It's definately been a challenging few weeks.
Glad to hear the dentist appt wasn't too bad. I'm going to take Mia with me the next time I go. She's usually pretty cooperative with that type of stuff, but who knows. It could be a nightmare.
A belated Happy Birthday to Gabe!!! Did he get anything he absolutely loved?

mittyrd: I think I remember that aggression at that age isn't really aggression- more a way to try and communicate during frustrating times when they can't or don't have the words. Hopefully that's all it is. I'm sure if you're consistent with removing him when he hits, it'll be a short lived phase. Let's hope anyway for your sanity. I don't know how you keep up with 3 well behaved boys, let alone when one starts to act up.

kerrykate: I think I'd have to make that Cindarella doll disappear;) . It's a little freaky. That's the kind of doll that scares you when you catch it out of the corner of your eye, before you realize what it really is.
I can't believe how tall Lauren is:eek: . She's 4.5 inches taller and 13 pounds heavier than Mia. Mia will probably be Lauren's size when she turns 12:rolleyes:
By the way, your house looks really pretty.

Alison: I loved the pin the wrench on Bob- definately a new perspective from all the girlie stuff around here.

Things around here have been hectic. I had 2 sick kids for 2 weeks- Ayla with a cold and Mia with intestinal stuff (she threw up in the car again on the way to gymnastics last week). They're both finally better- YEA. School and work are crazy and there's 3 weeks left of volleyball season. I really can't wait for it all to be done.

Renrel

10-15-2006, 06:56 PM

Errin - Sorry to hear the kids were sick. What a bummer. Thats hard enough when you have a normal schedule I don't know how you do it with your schedule.

We had Gabe's party today and it went great, other than Gabe being a tad cranky. We had to wake him up from his nap to get there in time and that never goes well. It was a shame since every since Friday everytime he woke from from a nap or sleep he announce it was time for his party and got upset that it was not. Then when it was his party he was too tired to care, he just wanted to go back to sleep. But after he started playing he was mostly good. There were 1 infant, 1 toddler, 7 preschoolers. It was at an indoor playspace that kept the kids totally occupied. For an hour before the "party part" they explored one of those tunnel, ball pit, net ladder tube mazy things. A few of the kids had some trouble getting started, being a bit scared of some of the parts, but by the end we had trouble getting them out. It was so cute when one of the little girls was trying desprately to find a way to get to one of the boys who was "trapped" in a spot he was afraid to get out of. When she finally got there she did not know what to do to help and just ran right past him. There were 5 adult trying to coach him through. After te maxe they had the "party" part and Gabe got to sit in a throne like chair at the head of the table. The served pizza, cake and hoodies cup ice cream.

Gabe did pretty well opening the presents. He openned cards first and said thank you when he finished after a reminder, which made sense since he really did not feel like someone had just given him a gift as they came out of a big pile. He took a break half way through present openning to finish the last bits of his ice cup. :rolleyes: He got a lot of nice toys and there were only two embrassing comments by him. The first present he announced that he had one already and the last present(a romote spider man toy) he stated that he does not like Spiderman. After about 3 presents the other kids were all right there with him, helping open the gifts and telling him what they were and what they got him, ect.

After the "party" part the kids went back to the play space and this time explored "the Village" where there was a construction area where they could play with real diggers picking up balls, loads of neat dress up costumes, fire engines, a salon, a stage where they could dance and see themselves on tv and other fun stuff.

Then a person dressed as a dinasaur and some character made up for this place came out to visit the kids, then they discovered the room with the rock climbing structure with a tunnel inside and a slide and lots of room to run around and went wild. They all seemed to have a great time and no one wanted to leave.

At home he opened two presents from each of my BIL's families. One was a space station which he really loved. The other was a diarama and dinasaur set. I am guessing the astrautnauts will be visting the planet of the dinasaurs in our future.

Tomorrow we have Gabe's 3yr well visit. After that things are fairly calm for awhile. Just Halloween and Thanksgiving coming up as far as I know. Maybe my Niece's b-day but I doubt we will travel down to NJ for that given how crazy the last 3 weeks have been.

I need to go through all Gabe old toys and figure out what gets tossed to make room for the new stuff. And Chanuka is just around the bend. We already need another set of toy shelves for the playroom.

Renrel

10-15-2006, 07:00 PM

AlisonCO

10-16-2006, 02:03 PM

erinn - I hope that the girls are feeling better - it is an absolute killer when two kids are sick at once!

Renrel - It sounds like Gabe's party was a success. I love the comments he made. When my grandma gave Aidan his b-day card with a check inside, he looked at her and then looked at my DH and said "that's not a present!" :o

We had a nice weekend. DH worked Sat morning so I took the kids over to my parents and my dad took Aidan on a 2 mile hike! He also peed in the woods twice:) Now anytime that we are outside he wants to pee. Then Sat night Aidan and I went to Whole Foods for dinner - just the two of us. We had our first public poop and it went fine. I love spending time alone with him so I might need to make this a once a week thing.

Have a great day!

jay&erinn

10-16-2006, 05:36 PM

Well, I spoke too soon. Ayla has another cold. I wonder if I'll ever get to sleep again.

Renrel: Gabe's party sounds like it was a blast. Mia's very into building stuff with DH. We haven't bought her a tool bench yet, although we've tossed around the idea (I want her to be able to fix her own things), but I did buy her one of those kits from toys r us by home depot. I think it had a kid sized screw driver and something else in it. The kit was to make a bird house. It was for 5 and up, but DH sat down and they did it together. She loved it. I'm thinking of getting her another one for Christmas. I'm sure it's really similar to what they make at Home Depot during those Sat kids classes. Unfortunately around here they want you to be 4 or older to participate.

he looked at her and then looked at my DH and said "that's not a present!"
Oh, how soon he'll learn.;)
Since we've been traveling a lot since Mia's been potty trained, she's peed outside more than I care to admit. But, when a 2 year old says she has to go and you're 10 minutes from the next exit, you do what you have to do. Unfortunately my little girl likes peeing outside now, and requests it when we're traveling. We've created a monster.

Any thoughts on what you're buying your kids for Christmas/Chanuka? Toys r us had dress up clothes (gender neutral) on sale around here- buy one get one half off. I bought a ton of them. They had cowboys, teachers, pilots, policemen, firemen, army, chefs, etc. They were really great. I bought them for a lot of the boys on my lists since I think they get the short end of the stick when it comes to dress up. But, now I want some for Mia. I'll have to go back. They also had all fisher price dollhouses and accessories on sale- buy one, get one. My cousin bought her daughter the same doll house, so I got everything for much cheaper than I had planned on. It wasn't really the doll house I wanted, but I couldn't pass up the deal.

We lost the remote to our TV in our bedroom about a week ago. DH and I looked high and low for it. The other day I was hanging clothes and Mia asked if she could turn on our TV. I told her she couldn't reach it and I'd turn it on in a second. She said, "I can use the remote, Mommy." I turned around and she was standing there with it in her hand. I asked her where she found it and she said, "Over there in Daddy's drawer (a catch all on the bedside table that has a small drawer), where I put it last night (everything is last night- doesn't matter if it happend 3 months ago)."

Renrel

10-16-2006, 06:34 PM

Renrel

10-16-2006, 08:16 PM

Errin - Sorry to hear the you are not out of the woods yet.

Pee outside - We have done this a number of times, usually when we are out at a playground with no toilet near by. But I was floored when Gabe out of the blue wanted me to take him outside to pee at my mother's house. I had a flash back to one of those supernanny shows where some mom had a kid who would only pee outside and she let him, like he was a puppy or something. I nipped that one in the bud.

chanuka - I am just thinking now. I want to see what he does with what he got for his birthday. But I am concidering "
1) the Fisher Price camara,
2) either the fisherprice MP3 kids player (I don't have one and don't even know how they work) or a kids CD player but that is more for us so he can listen with earphones in the car to all his CDs. He already has a tape deck one.
3) Some Games like candyland, hungry hippo, cranium or whatever this age set plays with.
4) A bank so he can start learning about money
5) Thomas or Brio track and assesories

At his well visit today Gabe told the doctor, when questioned, that he can pedal a tricycle and that you should always wear a helmet, but that he did not have one yet. :o He also told the doctor that you always wear a seatbelt in the car and that his favorite foods are sometimes brocolli, greenbeans and mushrooms. This was news to me, but at least it made me look better than the helmet info. I know we should have one for him but since we got the trike at a second hand store and he was unable to ride it for about 6-9 months after we never got around to getting one. We are not in toy stores very often and he doesn't ride that often, but we do need to get him one. If I remember correclty he is 35 3/4 inches but I might have that wrong. I am sure he is 30 pounds. They did this weird eye test with sensors on his head and annoying squiggly lines on a tv, but I am told his optice nerves are in good shape.

Renrel

10-17-2006, 06:43 PM

DH is stuck reading a book called"Before I was your Mommy" right now. hehehe

QOTD - What are your kids into right now toy and play wise?

Gabe is very into his Bob the builder toys. He has the big talkies and the take alongs and likes to play that the big ones are the parents and the little ones the kids. He mostly likes to park them and drop them all in to contains like the laundry basket or a empty boxes around the house.

He is also very interested in his cube shaped alphabet blocks again. But these days they have to be lined up or stacked with the letters all properly aligned.

He still loves his frisbee and racing and basketball.

He is getting a little more into drawing but is still not showing any real intersting in trying to write letters or other defined images.

We taught him his first knock knock joke and he finally told it right for the first time today. The boo who one.

jay&erinn

10-18-2006, 06:13 PM

Renrel: Mia LOVES her fisher price digital camera. She has always been into my camera, so I thought it'd be a good idea. She plays with it everyday- taking pics of Ayla, herself, the TV, furniture, animals, bugs, etc. I'm going to print some of them off and hang them in her playroom- kind of a kid's eye view of the world (people's heads are cut off, or they're REALLY close up, etc). She's getting better and better at trying to center them. The only bad things about it- the view finder is pretty crappy and the pics only print out well up to about 4X6- after that they get pretty grainy.

Does anyone have a train table? We're considering one for Mia- we can't drag her away from them in Barnes and Noble or Toys R Us. I hate to spend the money on a THomas or Brio one, but will if the others are crap. The Imaginarium one looks good, but I'm not sure. Any thoughts?

We went and picked pumpkins over the weekend. It was a blast. They had so much for kids to do (pumpkin painting, piles of pumpkins to climb, hay rides, pony rides, train rides, petting zoo, etc). Mia loved it. She was a little afraid of the animals in the petting zoo. She wasn't paying attention and a sheep rested it's head on her shoulder from behind. She started to turn around to see what she felt and there was the sheep (they were almost exactly the same height). I really wish I had gotten a picture.

Well, I'm off to bed. Ayla's cold is wearing ME out.

Jenyfer9

10-18-2006, 08:05 PM

Erinn: My speciality area... TRAINS! We got TJ one for Christmas last year. Personally, I say the table isn't nearly as important as the stuff that goes on it. We have a generic table (ours is ok, but I can't tell you the brand... I got it on ebay), but only Thomas track and mixed Thomas and Brio trains. Generally, you can get trains and track in a lot for a pretty good price on ebay or craigslist... we've had very good luck going that route. I'd say that we've gotten 60-70% of our collection used, the other part was gifts. But the track and trains that came with our generic table were pretty crappy.

Renrel

10-19-2006, 06:29 AM

Errin- Thanks for the info on the camara. My parents got Gabe a train table from costco for his birthday either last year or the year before, I forget now. It is a good deal if you want a table. It comes with two trundle drawer which are great as well as track, trains, wooden people and some buildings (the year we got it it came with a garage the year my sisters got it it came with a airport and train station.) I have not had any issues with track and the trains and cars are OK. But the table really is not used much in our house and it takes up way to much space. We were just talking about it last night. Maybe when we buy some more track this year and maybe a few assessories it will get used more but at the moment I would rather have that square footage back in the playroom. But it is hard to dump a big gift from the grandparents, IYKWIM.

Last night we came home and Gabe insisted on raking leaves off the driveway. We living in a big Victorian home converted into 3 large and one small apartment and half the property is paved so there was a big space to rake. He did a great job. He was actually helpful rather than just sincerely trying to be helpful. It was so cute. Him handling a full sized rake and dragging it back and forth across the driveway. He only stopped when I told him it was too dark and we could do more tomorrow.

Gabe is trying to learn to wink. It is so cute watching his face screw up as he gets one eye just a wee bit closed.

AlisonCO

10-19-2006, 10:48 AM

train table - we were thinking of buying one last year but didn't. DH had what I thought was a good idea - he was going to buy a piece of plywood, sand the edges and then glue the tracks on that. Right before he started that project, Aidan really got into putting the tracks together so we ditched that idea. We were worried that the table would take up too much room too. Aidan too loves the table at Barnes but I was afraid that he would quickly loose interest if we had one at home. As far as parts, we have been happy with the Imaginarium and Brio tracks and accessories.

presents - I have started thinking about Christmas too. I have bought 2 costumes for dress up - they were on sale for 30% off at KMart. I got the Superman and Firefighter. I also picked up a set of nicer, metal pots and pans for the kitchen. My parents are going to buy some nicer food. My mom also saw a big car carrier that holds 25 small cars so I think that she will get that for her house. My problem is Caitlin - I have no idea what to get her. Anyone with girls have a fun present for an 16-24 month old? She is getting a chair for her room (she loves to sit in Aidan's) and some new board books.

Aidan has is WCV tomorrow and I am so worried that he is going to freak. I don't know whether to tell him ahead of time or just go and surprise him:eek: In other news, he is in underwear full time during the day (even during is nap) and only has an accident about every other day. I find that he mostly has accidents right when we come home from being out so basically we run in from the car, pull off his shoes and pants and RUN to the bathroom - it is exhausting:) I can't believe how fast he picked it up when he was really ready. SO SO many moms told me that you just have to wait until they are ready and they were right - I swear that a light went off the week before his birthday! He looks so cute in his undies, but now he needs a belt to keep all of his pants on:)

Have a great day!!

Renrel

10-19-2006, 07:37 PM

Allison - Good luck at the doc's tomorrow!

The last few days Gabe has taken to laying on me and telling me I am his bed. Today I was remained his bumpy bed and he commented that he loves my bumps.

Tonight Gabe picked Love you Forever as his Daddy book. DH had as much trouble reading through the last few pages as I did. We were both all choked up. I am still not sure I like the book/story but it is effective in getting a gut reaction.

AlisonCO

10-20-2006, 02:19 PM

We had Aidan's check up today and it went fine. He totally freaked when we first got there and he had to get on the scale, but was fine after that. The nurse gave him a bulldozer sticker and told him how much she liked his Thomas undies:) We met a new doc today - his name is Dr. Underhill and Aidan thought I said Dr. Underwear:) He started laughing and thankfully so did the doc. He is 38 inches and 34 pounds which was 55% and 70% on their charts. Everything is fine - we did discuss his stuttering and the doc said that their speech therapist recommends stopping them when they start stuttering, having them take a breath and see if that helps their mouth catch up with their brain. He also said that it is not unusual for a boy to not be completely dry at night up until age 6 - he stressed that staying dry at night is related to bladder size, how deep they sleep and how strong the muscles are - none of which we can control.

Aidan and DH are going to a Father and Son activity at the library tomorrow and Cailtin and I are going shopping. I hope that you all have a great weekend.

Jenyfer9

10-23-2006, 08:01 AM

Today is TJ's birthday! We didn't get to bring a treat to school today because another boy had his birthday over the weekend and so he's bringing it today. We get to bring it on Wednesday. Poor TJ can't figure out why we're celebrating his birthday NOT on his birthday. Because we had dinner last night with my parents, he's taking treats to school on Wednesday, and his party is Saturday. This is a busy week for us as we also have our anniversary on Thursday. I'm exhausted just thinking about this week!

Jenyfer9

10-23-2006, 08:37 AM

And a little photo montage:

http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o183/Jenyfer9/MVC-009F.jpg

http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o183/Jenyfer9/DSC00700.jpg

http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o183/Jenyfer9/TJat3.jpg

AlisonCO

10-23-2006, 10:35 AM

HAPPY 3rd BIRTHDAY TJ!!!

I love the photo's - he has really changed alot!

Renrel

10-23-2006, 11:21 AM

Happy B-day TJ!!! Love the big boy picture. I can't believe how grown up he is looking these days. Sniff sniff.

Bummer about the delayed b-day. We almost did the same thing but when I spoke to the director about the possiblity of doing something differnt but the same day she said there was no problem doing it the same day and that she would speak to the teacher. We lucked out since Gabe decided he wanted to bring ice cream and the other child brought cake. It made for a full fledged b-day party.

This weekend we visited the inlaws one last time before they head to Florida tomorrow. We stayed over and then spent all of Sunday house hunting. We actually alot of nice ones this time. Gabe did pretty well, particularly concidering he napped horribly and went to bed late all weekend. But he announced several times that we were going to buy "This house!" When you ask him why he tell you because he is tired of housing hunting.

Gabe earned his first money this weekend as well. He was raking leaves at the ILs because he thinks it is fun. FIL saw him and told him he had to pay him. Gabe just looked at him and asked why? Oh that that would still be his reaction in 5 years when he can really be useful.

Gabe was a pain at preschool today. He refused to put on his coat saying he could not do it and would not even try. He had to wait behind while his friends went out. Finally the teacher told him that I might come visit on the playground and he would not be there. Then he put it on. She told me she did not understand his behavior since he his very intelligent and independant. I told her I though he was just trying to hold on to being little a little longer. I don't think she liked that answer. She seems to feel that once they can, they should and thats that. I understand that make her life and the life of the adults easier and that he has to learn to be big, but he has all his life to be big and if he wants to occassionally be little I tend to let him get away with it. When I do he seems to have an easier time moving on on his own. Or maybe I am just lazy and choose not to see him being a big baby. But I am guessing he was just cranky today from not enough sleep the last few days.

mittyrd

10-23-2006, 04:41 PM

Happy Birthday, TJ! Great pictures.

I have been too lazy to post the pictures but maybe later this week.

Jake is now in a twin bed since he refused to sleep in his toddler bed. He has been sleeping great since we got him the twin. He looks like such a big boy in it. Yesterday he got a time out and instead of 2 minutes I said 3 minutes since he is now 3 and he says "No Mama, 2 minutes!" with quite the attitude and his fingers showing 2 (as if I was being stupid). Yikes, what a freshie.

Matt started walking this weekend and Jake is so proud of him. Everytime he walks, Jake has to tell me his is walking. And he is constantly hugging and kissing him. It's so cute.

kerrykate

10-23-2006, 04:51 PM

Happy Birthday TJ! He looks like such a big boy:)

I'm pg again, I got 2 light BFP's on Friday, a darker BFP on Saturday, and a DARK BFP on Sunday. I had my first beta and progesterone test today and will get a repeat on Wed. We're hoping and praying that this one sticks!

Jenyfer9

10-23-2006, 05:15 PM

Congrats Kerrykate! I was starting to wonder if we would be hearing news from you again soon! Sticky vibes to you!!!

jay&erinn

10-23-2006, 05:55 PM

Kerrykate: YEA!!!!!!! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a sticky baby. Will your doc put you on progesterone just as a precaution? Mine did, but I think it was because I was sitting in the office crying since I had already started spotting at that point:o They probably figured they needed to get the crazy woman out of there fast. Put your feet up, take it easy and let us know how your results come out.

mittyrd: Yea for Matt starting to walk. That's so cute that Jake is proud of his little brother. I hope Mia feels the same way in the future when Ayla starts to crawl or walk.

Jenyfer: Happy Birthday to TJ! I hope he has fun at his party.

Nothing new around here. Unfortunately both of my volleyball teams are going to make playoffs (nice attitude for a coach, isn't it). I'm just so tired and really ready for the season to be over. Varsity will be in the playoff tournament all day Saturday and JV's tournament is all day Sunday. So much for a weekend.

Ayla has her 4 month appt this week- I think she has to be a few pounds bigger than Mia at the same age. She just seems huge to me.

Jenyfer9

10-23-2006, 06:05 PM

Ok, so my kid knows how to pull at my heartstrings. :( :) Tonight of all nights he picked out "I'll Love You Forever" (usually I read a Thomas book). Ugh. I was crying about 1/2 way through. TJ has his 3yr appointment tomorrow, so I'll report stats afterwards.

Renrel

10-23-2006, 08:30 PM

KerryKate - Mazal Tov! I will keep you in my prayers for a healthy pregnancy.

Jen - That book is a killer isn't it. As I posted earlier, it even got DH choked up reading it.

Mittyrd- Yeah for big beds and walking. They grow up so fast don't they? I was talking to Gabe about getting a big boy bed the other day. He got all scared looking and said he wants a big boy crib not a big boy bed. At this rate he will be in that crib till he's 5.

Gabe is suddenly able to play for long stretchs by himself. He is obsessed with is Bob the Builder toys. It is so cute listening to him call the bigger size one the grown ups.

mittyrd

10-24-2006, 04:56 PM

KerryKate: Congratulations!!! I'm crossing my fingers for a sticky sticky baby (or babies..... you never know....)

Jenyfer9

10-25-2006, 05:20 AM

Forgot to post stats from TJ's 3yr checkup:

height - 38 inches
weight - 32 pounds

the doctor also told TJ that he could be a big boy now and pee on the potty all the time. HA! That would be nice. We're still struggling with that over here, but I think that the problem is 100% having to do with the pull-up factor. I'm going to start putting him in underwear full time at home... he seems less likely to pee in that.

kerrykate

10-25-2006, 05:44 AM

Thanks for the congrats and sticky vibes (I need them) everyone. I got my first beta back yesterday and it was 276 and the nurse said that was excellent and she said my progesterone level was over the moon at 28. I have a repeat today so hopefully all will go well, although I'm not putting too much stock in what my beta is b/c last time when I had the miscarriage/blighted ovum my levels got to over 19000...

Renrel

10-25-2006, 06:50 AM

Kerry - Yeah for the good news. May it be all green lights from here on in.

-
I think we are going to have the terrible 3's over here instead of the 2's. Gabe is throwing tantrums everytime he does not get his way. He even had some issues in school, which is not usual for him. Two day ago he insisted he could not put his coat on and would not even try, so he had to stay behind while all his friends went to the playyard. Then yesterday he refused to clean up some toys and had to spend time cleaning by himself and then on the playyard he was touching a friend and had to sit out for awhile. Then he got up without permission and had to sit longer. I arrived about that time. Not sure where this is all coming from at the moment, unless he is just cranky from not enough sleep over the weekend. It is possible that the touching of his friend might have been provoked. I know that this friend can be very physical. The teacher did not mention anything about that, but they don't always see what happened. I am not assuming Gabe was not to blame but keeping it in the back of my mind given each child's personality. In someways I am happy that he was getting in some trouble, as long as it is not a on going behavior. I want him to be a normal kid who gets in trouble sometimes, not a goody two shoes like me, who never got in trouble.

My new thing in trying to get Gabe's acting out under control is counting.

I have started warning him that I am going to counting to 3 and that if he has not gotten himself under control by 3 he will have to sit alone in his room for while, or get no snack in the car if we are in a rush and a TO is not an option. So far he has stopped crying and smiled at me before I even start counting, little faker.:rolleyes:

I also managed to get him into bed by 9pm last night, (good for us since 9:30 is where his bedtime has been happening more often and frequently as late as 10:00. I am hoping that part of his acting out the last few days has been a lack of quality sleep (he barely napped and got to bed late all weekend). He cryed and fussed in his crib till about 9:30. Very annoying since I could probably have gotten him to stay quietly in his crib by 9:30 or even 9:15 if I had allowed him to stall longer rather than letting him cry it out. More pleasant for all involved. Hopefully it was just dues paid for a ongoing earlier bedtime.

Jenyfer9

10-25-2006, 08:36 AM

Renrel: yeah, I think that an earlier bedtime would do wonders. I know that when my kids are low on sleep, they are MUCH more difficult. Sorry such a drive by post...

Renrel

10-25-2006, 11:27 AM

I would tend to blame things on lack of sleep, but he is generally so easy and his bedtime has been 9:30ish for a long time now. But we have been meaning/trying to get it earlier without much sucess so his recently behavior is further motivation. It is just so hard to get dinner on the table at an hour that lets us bath him and do our bedtime routine. Any sucessful stalling and we are toast. And Gabe has started deciding he needs to poop at bedtime. This works well to push bedtime 15-60 minutes later, depending how long he will entertain himself on the pot. I do try to get him go earlier, after brushing teeth, but if he says he does not have to I am not going to force him to sit or stand and try.

Anyway he was much better behaved today. Some fits this morning when I would not let him watch a video or play longer on his tool bench but they were not long lived. No problems at daycare at all. He even decided when his lunch was over, threw out his cup and plate and went potty without any silliness, allowing me time to read him two stories before I left him for his nap.

How do you gals respond to comments like;

"It is not nice/rude or I don't like it when you don't let me do what I want."

I know it is my job as the parent do make him do things he does not want to do at time. And I know he needs to know that as well. But I have trouble coming up with the right way to say it. He gets very upset if I answer a question with "Because." He is fine if there is a reason/explaination after word but has told use very directly he does not like that word alone. Mostly this has been in answer to real questions, not quesition like "why do I have to...." But he is a very logical kid and craves information and explainations. I want to supply them without turning everything into a negotation. Though some negoation is fine. I want him to learn this skill and to ask and try to get what he wants. It may make my life harder at times, but I think it will make his life better in the long run. So long as he also learns that he will not always win his negotation.

Jenyfer9

10-25-2006, 11:50 AM

Renrel: Gabe's verbalization is waaaay ahead of anything that we're seeing/hearing around here, I can tell you that much! If TJ tells me that he doesn't want to do something (like put on his shirt, for example), I'll tell him that he will do it or I will do it for him and not be happy (or something along those lines). Like now, he's upstairs and supposed to be napping. I told him that if he wasn't going to nap, that I would come upstairs and turn off his closet light (he likes it on). So instead of trying to reason with a 3 year old, I take that out of the equation all together. I think that it's a good skill to have, but it's hard to try and implement that skill with someone who will throw a tantrum if they don't like the answer.

I'm off to go get him to go to sleep. Ugh.

Renrel

10-25-2006, 01:37 PM

Yeah, Gabe's verbalization skill is a blessing and a curse. He mimic's back all the things that he hears and says perfectly. I get a good idea of what his teacher do when kids don't behave just by listening to him. So if we or the teachers tell him that something he does is not OK, he will use the same language to tell us the he thinks something we are doing is not ok. Any he is not yelling or being fresh. He is just trying to do what we do when we are unhappy with him. The same way he has learned to say please and thank you and no, I don't like that, and Bless You. Once he was mad about something I would or would not do and I heard him talking in the back seat about how when we got home I would need to go to my room until I was ready to be nice. To him, our not giving him a snack when he asks for one and his refusing to put away his toys when we ask him to are the same thing and should be handled in the same manner.

I do try to give choices like the ones you meantioned and give consquences, like if you don't pick a snack by the time I come back then you just won't have a snack. That is different then when he starts telling us that we are not being nice. He has also learned some interesting negotion skills, like making a statement instead of making a request. For example "Ok, we will just read this one book and that will be good." or "I will just watch one of the stories on the little peoples video because I need to see Sarah." It amazes me how effective some of these techniques can be. He makes his desire sound so reasonable, so small, so nonconfrontational, that you find yourself wanting to go along with him. I used to use the same techniques on my Mom. My two favorits were clearing my plate without being asked to start cleaning, before anyone noticed I had not eatten my peas and offering (when I was older) to make my mom coffee. I would do this at bedtime. It took a good 15 minutes to make the coffee and mom would usually let me stay up the additional 15 to finish whatever tv show has started. I got what I wanted by giving her something she wanted. And she certainly did not want to argue with me about bedtime or chase me up to be at that point in the day.

jay&erinn

10-25-2006, 06:29 PM

Renrel: I think 3 is a much harder age than 2. Mainly because their verbal skills are improving so much, but they still have a difficult time seeing past themselves. Everything is so important to them that a no causes a meltdown. We're having to become much more strict with routines to help some of this. Mia was fighting us on everything, so we just implemented more of a routine. The biggest one here was her wanting to stay in her PJs all day. At first we'd let her stay in them for an hour or so after waking up. That became 2 hours, then 3. Then it became a huge problem to get her to get dressed on the days we needed to be out of the house. Now it's a rule in our house that everyone (DH and I included) have to be dressed before going downstairs for the day. Since upstairs doesn't have any toys, it's not much fun. Now when she fights us I point out that it's the rule to be dressed and if she's not ready to put clothes on she can stay in her room. I'll hand Mia her clothes and tell her not to come downstairs until they're on. Most of the time she'll get dressed immediately. Other times she sits in her room and cries for 20 minutes before getting dressed and coming downstairs. The longer the rule is in place the less she fights us. The same goes for eating breakfast when we come downstairs (Mia would choose to not eat until 11:00 every day if we let her), and her bedtime routine. They're really consistent and it's helped.

kerrykate: how were your betas today?

Renrel

10-26-2006, 07:37 AM

Errin - Thanks for the advice on routines. We have tried to establish them but we are not as consistant as maybe we should be.

Gabe was actually very good yesterday and so far today. I could tell he was not happy about somethings he had to do, as he made a angry face and maybe whined a bit, but he still did them and did not go into melt down. I made a point of thanking him for cooperating and noting that I could tell he was not happy but did the things anyway and that that was very grown up of him. I like to give him credit for being good at times when being good costs him more.

Weaning is also going pretty well. He was nursing at wake up and at bedtime. I have started offering the choice of a bedtime snack or nursing ad most days he chooses a snack and tells me that tomorrow he will nurse. A few mornings I have just cuddled him for a few moments and then distracted him with tickles or converstation and he forgot to nurse. This has a danger though, because if he remembers the time alloted for nursing has been eatten up but I don't feel right denying him when he did not actually choose not to nurse. He did not realized when he got distracted that he was giving up the chance to nurse.

I was got a book out of the libary yesterday called 3 y/o friend or enemy. It looks a bit old but I figured I would skim it anyway. (I got out several childrearing 3 y/o books just to brush up on what 3 y/o are all about.) The book claims that most 3 y/o are pretty easy to get along with. They are inbalance developmentally and thus more willing to cooperate, or something like that, but that 3.5 is a really really really hard age when nothing seems to work with them. That they become very rigid and fight you one everything, paticularly routines like eatting and dressing. Their best recommendation was to make active use of babysitters and daycare, because the 3.5 year old apparently wants to do battle with Mom, who really cares whether he/she eats, sleeps ect. The babysitter does not care so the battle does not happen. They admit that this sounds like a cop out but claimed it was their best advice for the 3.5-4 age range. Scary Huh? I have to see if the other books give a similiar description of this age and how to handle it.

jay&erinn

10-26-2006, 09:55 AM

That's interesting about 3.5 becoming more difficult. I think we're having many of those battles now, so hopefully it won't get worse in a few more months.
Mia will goes weeks without any problems, and then will be horrible for a few days to a week. I wonder if they're going through some developmental changes when her behavior heads south.
Sleep also plays a big role in how well Mia behaves. People look at me like I'm crazy when I leave somewhere just to keep her on her schedule. They don't realize what a monster she becomes when she misses a nap or goes to bed late- or worse, missing a nap and going to bed late in the same day. It usually takes us a few days of good sleep to get our happy/cooperative girl back.

Ayla had her 4 month WBV today. She's 13 pounds 11 ounces- a few ounces more than Mia at the same age. She's a little shorter than Mia though (just what I need- an even shorter child). Poor kids are going to both be little.

I had Mia get a flu shot while we were there too. I thought it'd be a nightmare, but Mia was a real trooper. She sat perfectly still and didn't even say ouch. No tears, nothing. Afterwards she wanted me to hold her for a minute, but that was it. She's complained that her arm hurts a little, but for the most part I think she's forgotten about it. I told her how proud I was of her for being so brave and that it'll help keep her from getting really sick, and from getting Ayla sick.
Ayla, on the other hand, screamed her head off after her shots while Mia stood there with her hands over her ears:rolleyes:

Well, both of my teams made playoffs, but the good news is it's all being done in one day. JV plays in the morning starting at 8:30 and varsity starts at 1:30 that afternoon. It'll be a long day, but at least I won't have to deal with 2 days in a row. The only bad part is if JV loses their first game. Then I'm stuck an hour from home with 2 kids and no games until that afternoon.

Renrel

10-26-2006, 10:46 AM

Errin - The book of course makes the disclaimer that all kids are different, some will never go through the stages they list and they are normal and others will go through them at different times. It is of course a generalization. But they did seem to feel that kids go through a spiral of good and bad behavior having to do with their be in or out of equalibrium with their development. When they are developing new parts of their being they are little monsters because nothing works or feels right to them. Then things get balanced and they are darlings again till the next wave of development. Something like that anyway, I skimmed it while tired.

Glad Mia was a trooper about the flu shot. I need to call and schedule ours. My 4y/o niece apparantly made a big deal about how she was going to be brave about her shots last year and show her baby sister how to be big girl. Guess which kids was a crying wreck and which did not make a peep? :rolleyes:

kerrykate

10-26-2006, 06:39 PM

Renrel~ I bought that same book at a garage sale this summer for a $.25! I've skimmed through it and I figured it was kind of dated b/c it mentioned spanking in a couple parts, I think it was published in the 80's. It has some interesting sections that rang true with us. In one part it was talking about how 2 year olds have such a difficult time sharing and how 2 y/o can have a hard time interacting with each other. But at 3 they are much more social with each other and play and share much better and that has been sooo true for Lauren. BUT, on the other hand she is now 3 going on 16. She can be one sassy girl. I pick my battles and we're definitly firm with her on many things, or she would walk all over us. My sister has a five year old son and she said the 3's were definitly the most difficult so far.:rolleyes:

Erinn~ Mia was so good with her flu shot! When L got hers a couple weeks ago she did one of those cries when they take a deep breath in then wale. She hasn't done that in a long time. For the rest of the day she kept saying that the doctor was so mean to her and gave her that bad shot.

I got my repeat beta back today, Monday the hcg level was 276 and progesterone was 28. Wednesday the hcg level went up to 720 and the nurse was in a hurry and didn't tell me my progesterone but she did say she put my folder on the doctors desk to review and she'd call me tomorrow to let me know what he said, I'll ask her about the progesterone then. I feel so bloated already.

We went to a b-day party tonight at Chuck-E-Cheese... Lauren had so much fun playing but wow that place could give anyone ADD;) When it was time to sing happy b-day Chucke came out and L wanted nothing to do with him but on the way home she said that she wished we could bring Chuck-E-Cheese home with us so daddy could see him.

AlisonCO

10-26-2006, 07:29 PM

So sorry that I haven't been in this week - the kids and I are getting over a flu bug. Uggh - thankfully DH and Caitlin bounced back very quickly, but poor Aidan got hit really hard.

Anyway..

kerrykate - HUGE CONGRATS to you and your family!!

I too have heard from other moms with older preschoolers that it gets slighly more challenging from age 3-4.5 - everything becomes a battle and with their increase in verbal skills and their need for everything to be negotiated, well it is exhausting! I too find that when Aidan has a poor nights sleep/skipped nap etc, everything is much more exagerated. I try very hard to keep the sleep/eat routines consistent to minimize the meltdowns etc.

Jenyfer9

10-31-2006, 10:58 AM

Happy Halloween everyone! http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o183/Jenyfer9/halloween2006.jpg

AlisonCO

10-31-2006, 01:57 PM

jenyfer - Adorable picture. Am I totally dumb if I tell you that I don't know what TJ is?

We are doing well here and are all recovered from the flu. It is so stinkin cold today so I think that trick o treating will be short, but I think that A will enjoy handing out candy. We went to a costume party Sunday and A had a blast. They had a toss the pumpkin game and after playing for a few minutes A looked at me and said "mommy, why I am throwing these pumpkins?" We all dressed up too - Caitlin was a frog, DH was a lifeguard and I was Bob the Builder:) There was this one little boy who followed me around the whole time just staring and wanting to hold my tools:) I should have pictures soon. A has been having a pee accident everyday now for a few days - I expected some regression of course, I just wish I knew what was causing it. I wonder if I have become too lax at asking him if he needs to go.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN everyone - have fun and stay safe!!!

Jenyfer9

10-31-2006, 03:57 PM

TJ is/was Swiper the Fox (from Dora the Explorer)

mittyrd

10-31-2006, 06:09 PM

Happy Halloween! Jake surprised me and stayed out as long as we would let him. I figured he would last 5 minutes and then be too scared from the other dressed up trick-or-treaters. But he loved going to the doors and picking out candy. He didn't want to eat any of it just play with it. We lucked out with a beautiful night, we didn't even need to wear jackets. We set up lights, a fog machine and played scary music and then he got scared from the music so we had to shut it off. I'm trying to download a picture. If i can't get it tonight, I'll try it tomorrow.

The boys went right down tonight! If only every night could be like this!

I'm beginning to feel like a terrible mom for not potty training yet. The poor kid will be in 1st grade and still peeing/pooping in a diaper. I just can't seem to find the time (or just take the time, I guess). And then what do i do with the babies if I'm with Jake somewhere waiting forever for him to pee/poop??

Hope you all are feeling much better (for those who were sick/bloated,etc.)