What to give co-worker for wedding?

[Larissa]

I was invited to a co-workers wedding. Not that this should matter, but in case anyone wants background...it's her first marriage and his second marriage. He has three kids (7-13 I believe) from his first marriage.

They chose not to register for gifts since they have been living together for about 2-3 years and already have everything they need as far as household stuff. In conversations with her (we are both getting married and chat about different things so it's not as though she brought this up out of the blue) she mentioned that they weren't planning to take a honeymoon until they found out if they got enough cash as gifts to take a few days off.

I have no clue what to get them. I honestly am not sure that I am comfortable giving a co-worker cash (even though that's what I'd rather have as well...I think it's the fact that she's a co-worker). And if I give them cash how much?? We're both social workers (and where we live they get MUCH paid less than teachers) so I don't have money coming out my ears and even if I did she might not be my first choice of people to spend it on. I don't want to seem cheap either though.

Any ideas? I really do want to go to the wedding so missing it and just sending a card is not an option for me.

[sublime311]

I can tell you that we LOVED money gifts! We had individual monetary gifts (cash and checks) ranging from $20 to $200. I appreciated ALL of them. If she's in the same business you are, she'll understand if you can't give a substantial amount. If I were giving a co-worker a $$ gift, I would probably do $30 to $50 (or more depending on how close I am to her).

It's too bad that she didn't do a honeymoon registry because she's bound to get tons of gifts that she doesn't really want, KWIM?

[Cohl]

I would have to say money too. I loved that just about everybody gave us cash for wedding gifts (not that I didn't love the other gifts as well.) We used it for the down payment on our house! If you are not close friends I would probably give $50-$100.

[apoppy]

I think that I would be uncomfortable giving a co-worker cash too.

How about a basket of themed items? We received a nice basket of gourmet breakfast items (coffees, coffee cake & scone mixes, jam, etc) that we actually used on our honeymoon. A selection of wine, cheese, crackers, etc. might be nice too. Luxury perishables can be nice because a lot of people don't but them for themselves.

[T&M'sMommy]

A nice gift certificate for a restaurant or for something that they can do with the kids(blockbuster gc etc)

[thedoorchick]

I think the two ideas above are very nice. A basket of some gourmet food items or a GC to a nice restaurant are both very classy and not cash.

I wouldn't give cash either. It's just not something I do. If others choose to do so, of course, that's their thing but I prefer to give something tangible that I put thought into.

Also I know I've said this before but I've never understood why anyone would say, "We're living together; therefore we're not registering because we have everything we'll need." In the first place, who ever has everything they need? In the second place, if you don't live together, you're more likely not only to have things you need but to have TWO of everything.

:confused:

[strwbrygirl]

I agree- the gourmet gift basket idea or the GC's to a nice restaurant, or maybe a movie or fun place that the whole family can use... I think I would be uncomfortable giving a coworker cash, too.

[Vishenka69]

Around here cash wedding gifts are a standard, so that's what I'd go with. We've never gave anything but a check for any wedding we attended. If you feel very uncomfortable with cash, get them a GC to a place you know they'd like (either movies, restaurant, blockbuster or even a store).

[greenbunny]

Since you work together, would it be possible to donate some of your vacation time to her for her honeymoon? I know it's rather weird, and I don't know how you'd feel about it, but maybe she would appreciate it.

[Sabrina]

I would give her cash. She has even told you that they want cash. It couldn't get any easier to select a gift! ;)

We have given cash as wedding gifts to coworkers and I know we will most likely receive cash from coworkers for our wedding. In our area, cash is a common wedding gift.

[dionysia]

I cannot recommend enough the gift boxes from Penzey's Spices (http://www.penzeys.com). :)

Di

[Heidi9771]

A nice gift certificate for a restaurant or for something that they can do with the kids(blockbuster gc etc)

I think that is a great idea in subsitute for cash.

[laurenc]

is there anyone else in your workplace who might be in the same situation? if cash is where you're headed, maybe you can take up a collection at the office and make it a "from the office" sort of gift? my mom's office does that for coworkers' and coworkers' kids' weddings.

or, i like the food suggestions -- my SIL received an italian-themed gift basket one christmas, with lots of different kinds of pastas, different flavored olive oils, some gourmet jarred tomato sauce, a pasta fork, a serving bowl, and a pair of pasta bowls. it looked fabulous!

[katmg]

I cannot recommend enough the gift boxes from Penzey's Spices.

Gotta agree with dionysia. I love Penzey's. I got a *really* nice pepper mill and a large bag of white and black pepper from Penzey's as a wedding gift. At the time I was all that impressed by it, but DH and I have really liked having that pepper mill - it's got to be the best one I've ever used.

Their gift boxes are great and really help you set up a kitchen.

I wouldn't feel comfortable giving cash. Maybe that's just me.

[angelraven]

is there anyone else in your workplace who might be in the same situation? if cash is where you're headed, maybe you can take up a collection at the office and make it a "from the office" sort of gift?

I think this is a GREAT idea. Then your co-worker will get what they want, and everyone can feel comfortable about giving a cash gift.

[tenofcups]

I always give cash for a wedding, EXCEPT for a co-worker. For some reason, it's always struck me as somehow odd to give money to someone I work with. I don't think I'm alone in that either, since we got all "present" gifts from my co-workers who were invited to my wedding too--and I know that most of them will generally give cash in other circumstances.

How about a gift certificate to a restaurant or a good bottle of wine? (or both, depending on how much you want to spend)

[Larissa]

Thanks ladies :) I'm checking to see what restruants are in the area (she lives in a town about 30 minutes away in the middle of nowhere)...as well as the other suggestions!!

For those of you who would give cash, how much would you give? I'll talk to other co-workers who were invited as well.

[salysaturn]

I went to a co-workers wedding. We hardly "hung" out outside of work, and she left in March of 2005, and was married in September, and we saw each other like once during that time. I feel funny brining a gift-gift to a wedding, I'd rather give $$, since they will be able to use it. Anyway, I gave $50. Mainly cause when they had the reception, they were already married for a few days, and they weren't worried about a big old party. Usually, close friends family I give more, but for this I just gave $50.

[KrissyCat7]

If I were going to a coworkers wedding, Id probably spend about $50. Unless I was extremely close with them and then I would give more.

I love the idea of a gift certificate to a resteraunt.:)

[nicole]

I cannot recommend enough the gift boxes from Penzey's Spices.

Di
Di, you can come to my wedding! :p We got some Penzeys spices as a housewarming gift a few years ago, and I don't think I've bought spices anywhere else since!

[Asha]

she mentioned that they weren't planning to take a honeymoon until they found out if they got enough cash as gifts to take a few days off.

quite honestly i find saying this a little tacky. i could see myself saying this to my parents or my closest friends, but to a coworker. i mean secretly i was really hoping for cash gifts which i knew would help pay off the honeymoon we put on our credit card.

i would give the same amount you would give for someone's first marriage. if it is her first marriage, and it really shouldn't matter if anyone of them has kids or not. i felt really badly for my step dad when he got married to my mother bc people treated it as if it were a second wedding. well, it wasn't for him, and he was one of the rare guys who dreamed of having a fabulous wedding to the woman of his dreams.

except for one coworker, i got cash gifts from all of my coworkers who are teachers. also, i do live where cash gifts are the norm. the cash gifts ranged from $50-100.

[ManteoChik]

I think I would do cash but if you aren't comfortable my next idea would be to put together a "honeymoon" gift basket that had things like....candles, chocolate, wine, massage oils/lotions, and maybe a little card that says something like "Just in case a destination honeymoon can't be taken....here are a few things to make an at home honeymoon just as fun." (or something along those lines)