Jealous Puppy

[BMJ]

My puppy Ginger (9mts old), is a Pomeranian which we got back in March. She seems to be very jealous of our cat, which my husband had for 2 years. Every time we say the cats name, Ginger comes running towards us and starts barking. Each time we pick up the cat, she runs and starts jumping on whoever is holding the cat.
My main concern is that when my husband and I decide to have children. Ginger has been here for 5 months now and does not seem to get over the fact that we have a cat that we care about too. Ginger does get more attention than the cat, since the cat primarly sleeps most of the day.
I am worried that when a baby comes into the house how is she going to react? Should we have her interact with babies or kids, so she gets use to it? Another reason why I am worried is because, she does not seem to grasp the words "NO, SIT, STAY, STOP" when there are things going on around her.

Any suggestions?

BMJ

[taffers]

My dog (14 months old) does the EXACT same thing when we call or pick up the cat! She is so jealous that even if DH and I are kissing, my dog makes it a three-way kiss. ;) She wants all the attention all the time.

But, she loves kids. We make it a point to have her play with kids. I would definitely recommend bringing your puppy around children. I think, or at least I hope, that she knows the difference between a cat and a baby, in that a cat is another animal and a baby is human. I've heard that even kids should be considered Alpha to your dog...we'll see what happens when we have a baby!

Good luck!

[BMJ]

Thanks for your response :)
We live in an apt and there are a lot of children running around. A lot of the kids want to come up and pet Ginger, but all she will do is run away and crouch down as if they are going to hurt her. I hope she will get over this, b/c soon we will be moving close to my family and I have nieces and nephews who are all young, and I don't want Ginger reacting like that. She also barks randomly at the same time as be scared and running away.

I have another issue...Ginger has a tendency of peeing in the house even after taking her outside. Each time she pee'd or poop in the apt, we would give her a smack and say NO! and now when we go near her she runs away thinking we are going to smack her and she'll run in her crate. I felt bad each time we smacked her, but she keeps eliminating the apt. Seems like she is not learning anything. Is this something that she will get over or will she always be scared?

Any suggestions on disciplining?

[taffers]

First of all, don't smack her...you are going to make her a very fearful dog. I know you're probably just tapping her, but don't do it.

IF you catch her in the act, say "no" very firmly and take her outside immediately. Take her out the same door every time so that she knows that that is the door she should go to when she wants to be let out to go. Make sure to clean up the "deed" completely, with rug cleaner, so she can't smell the area, or she'll keep going in the same place.

If you don't catch her in the act, even if it's just right after, don't yell at her because she has no idea why you are mad at her, which will also make her fearful.

The best way to teach her anything is with positive reinforcement. Every.single.time she goes (pee or poo) outside, give her a treat and lots of praise. It was SO tedious at first doing this, but well worth it!

Our dog hated pee pads, and would play with her toys on them, yet pee on the carpet right next to it :rolleyes: so those didn't work for us. However, with a previous dog, we taught him to go inside on the pee pads, and then we moved them outside so he eventually asked to go out when he had to go because he wanted to go on the pee pads.

As for the tricks (and sit, stay, shake, play dead, etc.), we are lucky in that my mom is like a frickin' dog whisperer! She taught her most of the tricks, but it was all about positive reinforcement. Just sit with her, say "sit" then push her butt down so that she is sitting. Then give her lots of praise and a treat. My mom would do this over and over, and now my genius puppy does tons of tricks! ;)

Aren't puppies difficult?! Two of my friends tell me that their puppies were harder than their kids! :p

ETA: Another way a trainer told us you can train them when they are doing something bad is to put some pennies in a coke can and tape up the hole then shake the can loudly and say "no" when she misbehaves (not excessively of course). This also didn't work with my puppy...she's not afraid of much! A squirt of a water bottle is supposed to work too, but of course, my puppy would just try to catch the water in her mouth! :rolleyes:

[jnshanna]

She is so jealous that even if DH and I are kissing, my dog makes it a three-way kiss. ;) She wants all the attention all the time.


I just have to say that it's good to know I'm not the only one with a dog like this. Our dog barks and tries to get between DH and I every time we kiss or hug! Seriously, if we hug in the kitchen while making dinner our dog is barking like crazy as soon as we touch eachother! It's not a problem for us though because she's very good with children and everyone for that matter. But sometimes I just want to hug my husband in peace, ya know? :p

[taffers]

Isn't that funny?! You wouldn't think they'd get jealous of US!

[BMJ]

Thanks for the advice.
It is hard having a puppy and honestly when I was growing up we had a boxer and it was not this difficult at all. I thought having a puppy will be nice to have to keep us company and to keep the cat company and to have as a companion, and in reality, I feel as though I made a mistake because I have become a different person. I have become more stressed out and short tempered since we got her.
We say no, but she does not listen. I was calling for the cat for his treats and she just barking as if there was no tomorrow. I kept saying no but nothing. I;ve tried the spray bottle but she has no effect on that. We did the treats as much as possible for positive reinforcements but that does not work :( its been very stressful for me since I am a housewife and deal with her all day.
Since she has not listened to me or my husband or learned from positive reinforcements that we did every single day for every good thing she has done, we smacked her. Now, she is scared and fearful more than she was before. I do not know what to do. No matter what we do, nothing seems to be working.

[jajacobsen]

I can empathise with a lot of what you say; being a parent to a puppy can be very hard. It seems that you have got into a battle of the wills with her, and I repeat a suggestion I have made before on your other posts: Obedience lessons and working with a dog trainer.

I think you may need some one to one lessons and then can go into obedience school. This made a HUGE difference with our pups. Even though we were doing everything "right" the trainer was able to identify some techniques that might work better. I know the cost may seem large, but it was so worth it for the harmony it brought into our household that we are willing to give up luxuries (but remember, we had two pups, so our cost was doubled). It's like when people are having problems with their marriage, so they go to a marriage counselor. At this point, you sound so frustrated I am worried that you won't have the well trained and well behaved dog that you (rightfully) want without using professional services.

I don't know anything about the pomeranian breed. Some breeds and some some dogs are simply more biddable than others, so possibly thsi was teh situation with your boxer. You just can't compare one dog with another just like you can't compare one child to another. I would look for a trainer who has worked with pomeranians as there may be breed specific traits.

I sincerely wish you all the luck. Puppy parenthood does get easier after the first 8 months or so - (I hope - we're at 10 months).

[fuzzy]

Since she has not listened to me or my husband or learned from positive reinforcements that we did every single day for every good thing she has done, we smacked her. Now, she is scared and fearful more than she was before. I do not know what to do. No matter what we do, nothing seems to be working.

Seriously, don't smack the poor dog. It will cause more problems -- bigger, harder to "break" problems and you'll regret it in the long run.

Nine months is WAY too old not have at least one obedience class under her belt.

Look into clicker training. Most people do not use postive reinforcement properly. The reinforcement has to be given *EXACTLY* at the same time the behavior is completed. Not a *second* later. SO, if you ask the dog to sit, the instant her butt hits the floor, she needs the reinforcement. If you, instead, say "GOOD PUPPY" and clap and make a scene (inevitably causing her to jump around and bark) and THEN give her a treat, she thinks you are rewarding her for jumping around and barking. The best (and, realistically only) way to deliver immediate praise is with a clicker.

[mjfish]

Dogs are not capable of being jealous. It appears that your pooch has a very high opinion of herself, and probably sees herself as the pack leader (you are part of her pack) given the problems you've stated you're having.

The pack leader is the one who decides to whom and when he/she gives out affection...the pack members do not beg for affection from the leader. When you are showing affection to the cat, she is basically trying to tell you that that is not acceptable to her -- the cat is not worthy/deserving of affection as she sees it being the pack leader. What do you do when she jumps/barks? You need to push her away (put her in a sit/stay or down/stay) and completely ignore her and continue petting the cat. If you are just sitting there (cat is not around) and she comes up for a pat/scratch, make her do something to earn that...make her sit or down or something. Do not allow her to mandate to you when you show her affection. In no way, shape, or form should she be allowed to get into a "three way kiss" with you and your DH -- absolutely never. Same thing goes with visitors...why are you allowing her to show rude behavior by jumping on them, cat or not? She is small...physically move her away from the person and put her in a sit/stay or down/stay. In order for all of this to work, you'll need to go to obedience classes or read about clicker training (http://www.clickerlessons.com/goodleader.htm)as Fuzzy suggested -- no matter what, she needs training! Implement NILIF (http://k9deb.com/nilif.htm) immediately.

You can try keeping a leash on her at all times in the house (you may even want to keep her attached to you at all times). If you tell her to sit, and she doesn't, don't say the command again, just walk to her and make her sit. The leash will help in making it easier to catch her if she tends to run away. If she does run away, bring her back to where she was at and make her sit then. Do not do this with angry energy, be calm and authoritative. Praise when she sits, but remember that it doesn't need to be a "shouting from the rooftop, jumping up and down" kind of praise. "Good sit" and a pat is fine. You should also keep treats in your pockets at all times for a while as that is a very good reward and motivator. Hitting is never a good punishment with a dog because they just don't understand it, and you will most likely get the exact opposite/wrong behavior from doing so.

As Cesar Millan (http://www.dogpsychologycenter.com/)says, "Exercise, discipline, affection." Lots of exercise...and notice affection comes last. Affection in his mind is even just feeding them or giving them water...it doesn't necessarily mean that you are fawning over them (and you actually shouldn't be because that tends to elevate their status in the pack in their minds). HTH!

[BMJ]

Thank for your advice, it has opened up my eyes. It is hard when you think you are doing the right things for your pet and really you are not helping that understand at all. Yesterday she ate my laptop adaptor cord in half, what was i suppose to do? I said no and I put her in her crate. Is she really learning that way?

[jajacobsen]

I thought about you and your dog while I was taking my two for a walk this morning (at 6.30, in the rain). Are you walking her each morning? Ours really get a lot out of this. First, it physically wears them out ( a tired puppy is a good puppy) and also it gives them "special time" with just me and it gets them out of the house. sually they take a nap for an hour or so when they get home.

I think at this point, working with a trainer will be very helpful to work through some dominance issues. I hope it gets better!

[fuzzy]

Yesterday she ate my laptop adaptor cord in half, what was i suppose to do? I said no and I put her in her crate. Is she really learning that way?

This is a good example of timing -- did you find her in the process of eating the cord? If you did, great. If you just found the cord and found the dog sitting next to the cord, then no, it wasn't effective. In this case, if you just found her sitting next to the cord, ignore it. It's done, move on.

Again, you have to catch her *in the act* -- if you don't, then she doesn't know what you are punishing (or rewarding her for). Punishment/rewards have to occur the moment the bad/good behavior occurs.

[Hangin'in]

I just noticed you are in AR. If you are in central AR, I can highly recommend the basic obedience training class at Petsmart in west Little Rock. Kat is great. Small breeds can be hard to train. I have a yorkie pup that will be 5 months next week. She is enrolled in puppy classes there, but if they are over a certain age, they start with the basic class. The class isn't so much for her.... as it is for me, so that I can train her effectively at home. The things that have helped so far with us (unresolved potty training, not listening if it doesn't suit her...) is to keep her leashed to us when she is not in her crate. We never have an inside accident when we follow this advice...... if we can't watch her every.minute, then she is in her crate. We are also using a clicker/reward method and even though we do have to take a couple of steps back every so often, it is a great way to train. The only other advice I have is patience, patience and more patience.

If you smack her with your hands, or any other object, she will associate your hands / object with the smack, and she will run every time.

[mjfish]

If you did catch her in the act, then good, however you need to be careful about using the crate as a "time out" or punishment. You don't want that to be a negative place to go. How was your body energy/language when you put her in there? Were you angry or calm? Even if you think you were calm, you may have been still upset by what happened, and they will pick up on that.

The crate is a good tool when used properly. She has shown you that she is untrustworthy, so you have to watch her every second. Truly, every second. If you cannot be near her to watch her, put her in her crate for a few minutes. If it's a positive place for her, she will be happy to go in there multiple times a day. Give her a treat or a favorite toy each time so she learns it's a positive place. Then just go about your business. Do not feel guilty for doing this!!! An alternative is using the leash like I mentioned previously, but attach the leash to your belt, pants, ankle, something so that she can never be far from you...this will make it much harder for her to get into trouble! Definitely crate her whenever you are gone.

We adopted our Rott when he was 3 mos old. Literally, I followed him around watching him for the next 4-5 months of his life. When I couldn't watch him (ex. went down into the basement to do laundry), I would put him in his crate. He is now 2 & 1/2 yo, and this week is his first trial week to be out of his cage during the day while we're at work (so far so good...knock on wood). But my point there is that it's been 2 & 1/2 years that we've crated him, so you may want to change your view as the crate being more long term that what you initially thought.

[BMJ]

Wow, thanks for all the advice!
Yes, I caught her in the act and wsa very angry and told her to go to her crate she went in. I was angry because I am on this laptop many hours a day and need this for school.
The past weekend, she ate my cell phone charger cord and my husband caught her in the act. She did that sent her to her crate and then she ate my laptop cord sent her to her crate. how many times does she have to eat expensive things just for her to learn?
I will check up on training classes for her!

wow, 2 1/2 years...jeez, I was about to ask how long does it take till we can trust her to be in the house by herself....we actually tried it a few times when we went to the grocery store, but for a whole day yeah we would keep her in a crate.

again, thanks for all your help and advice!

[mjfish]

Let me clarify the 2 & 1/2 years...for the past year probably, we have be doing little "tests". First, we started leaving him out for short trips to the store, 15 - 30 mins, little trips like that. We've upped it to a few hours in the past few months or so, here or there, not all the time. This week is the first week of full days being out. He may have been ready sooner, but I just didn't trust him. He was great in all of the little tests, so I figured I might as well just go for it. If he starts destroying things again, back into the crate he will go...it's just safer all the way around. It's not that he's a bad dog, it's that he's very smart, very inquisitive and is constantly learning...so he finds things to get into (like lightbulbs! :eek: ), and I have to be very careful to make sure he doesn't kill himself in the process! :p

[Chile]

She's a puppy and will do puppy things which includes chewing up things, eliminating in improper places and cowering around unknown people and animals. While she is still young and learning you and her need to go to obedience classes. It will teach you patience, which you lack in and desperately need while you have a puppy. It will also teach you how to train your dog and teach the puppy basic, necessary commands. Obedience classes will teach you how to be a responsible pet owner.

[jajacobsen]

I was raised around pets all my life and we did not ever go to obedience classes with our dogs. Sigh. Maybe my mom just has a knack with dogs. Well, I know she does. And so do I. But DH and I needed the help and benefit of a trainer in helping us learn to communicate with our dogs. First of all, it helped both DH and I do things the same way each time, so the dogs did not get mixed signals. Also, the trainer was very perceptive about dogs and could suggest alternatives when we hit a stumbling block. It was so worth it.

Our dogs are 10 mos old. They will not be left unsupervised in the house while we are at work until teh are well past the two year mark. Right now, tehy are the equivalent to an 10-12 year old human child. Too young to be left alone all day long.

[lady1297]

2 1/2 years...jeez, I was about to ask how long does it take till we can trust her to be in the house by herself....we actually tried it a few times when we went to the grocery store, but for a whole day yeah we would keep her in a crate.



My labrador is 4 and we JUST started allowing her to roam while we aren't here. Like about three months ago. Until then, she was 'crated' in our room when we were gone. A lot of things depend on the breed. You should do some serious research on your breed. Labs are VERY mouthy and when bored, will chew. We have to exercise her before we leave even now or there is a chance we will find something destroyed.

I want to STRONGLY suggest puppy school for you. Or lab has been through 2 levels and they are easy to train. The people dealing with her (me, DH, and my parents) weren't so easy to train. And yes, you're there for YOU, not the dog. Every penny was worth it and I don't regret a second of the training. We are STILL training her everytimesheobeysa command. It never ends.

[brenda]

The thing to remember is that when a puppy misbehaves, it's your fault, not the puppy's fault. Puppy's can't be trusted to do the right thing. They're like toddlers - they have no concept of right vs. wrong, they have no impulse control, and they want what they want when they want it. It takes time and patience to train them, and even the best trained puppy will backslide because of the impulse control/excitability issue.

For example, Serena broke a bowl this morning because she hopped on the couch to get to the chocolate ice cream remnants that Sweetie left on the console table last night, and knocked it off the table. That's our fault, not hers. We know she can't be trusted not to try to grab an inappropriate treat when no one is looking. She's the equivalent of a 6 year-old.

Sweetie should have remembered to put the bowl away, and I shouldn't have left her unattended.

Your puppy has shown you that she can't be trusted not to chew, so you have not give her the opportunity to chew things that she shouldn't have. Make sure she has plenty of things that she can chew (Serena has squeaky, fluffy, burger, and grapey) and redirect her to these things whenever you catch her looking for something to chew.

[BMJ]

I understand that puppies are like toddlers and that they can't be trusted to be by themselves. I try to take Ginger out every 4 hours so that I can help her hold in her urine for a longer period of time. Every 4 hours I take her out and she pees. Today and yesterday it has not even gotten to the 4 hours mark and she peed on the carpet. I said "NO" to her very loudly and she went into her crate by herself. This has been on going since we got her in Mar.06 and she is now 9 months old...how do I know if she is learning or not? No matter how many times I say 'NO' it seems as though she is still doing what she does. Does obedience training help for this as well?

[jajacobsen]

Definitely obendience training will help. But, remember, dogs are not like machines. Sometimes we as people need to go more often and soemtimes dogs do as well. I do think obedience trainign will help with communication skills between you and your dog.

[BMJ]

Thanks for everyone help and advice :)

[jajacobsen]

How is it going?

[mjfish]

Just curious...are things improving?

Well, back to the crate we go...:rolleyes: The big goober started getting into the garbage and other stuff, and yesterday morning he was only alone for an hour and ate a whole loaf of bread, plastic bag and all! :rolleyes: :eek: Such a dork. Looks like he will have to wait until he's 3 or 4 or 10... :p

[BMJ]

Sorry for the late reply...been busy with school.
Ginger has not been changing...seems like things are getting worse :(
She eats everything (shoe laces, the cats scatch post, her pillow, etc.) she has bones to chew on (rawhide), but it does not seem to keep her occupied.
It seems like it is going to be a long journey for us when dealing with her.

Thanks for all your suggestions and advice. We decided to look for obedience training when we move in a couple months ( I hope), we have been busy with interviews etc. so we know we will not have time to go through obedience training right now.

BMJ

[Lucy Van Pelt]

Dogs often chew on inappropriate things when they are bored and have too much energy. Even though she is a toy breed, she still needs adequate exercise. How often are you taking her for walks and for how long are you walking her? A tired dog doesn't have the energy to be destructive.

[BMJ]

We take her out to the park every other day for about an hour to an hour and a half. The when we take her out to potty its for about 15 mins. But we are constantly playing with her inside, having her fetch the ball that goes on for about 1 hour. And of course there is the chasing around of the house between her and the cat. So to me it seems like she gets a lot of exercise, but I could be wrong.

BMJ

[Chile]

****

[jajacobsen]

It think the pup needs at least 2 15-30 minute walks per day, or at least an hour of play time. They just need this every day. at her age, it is like telling a 6 year old that they cannot have play and interaction/bonding time daily. Every other day just isn't enough.

She will eat and chew many things. If she is just chewing the cat scratch post, her pillows and destroying her dog toys, that is great. If she is chewing shoes and cords, scold her severely and yell REALLY SCARY and keep these things away from her. I am manic about shoes and plastic things as they are very appealing to my dogs.

Use baby gates to keep the dog out of rooms where you cannot watch her aand keep all cords and shoes out of these rooms. It sounds hard but it is doable, and it will be great practice for actual parenthood.

HTH