Did you not have the 1st grandchild?

[Smittenk]

My SIL just announced she is expecting which means that DH and I will not be having the first gandchild on either side. In some ways I think it is good since the first usually is most spoiled but I am a little sad. I'm sure there will be other firsts for us but I guess I was holding out hope. On my side I have been an aunt for most of my life so I never cared before but when DH and I got married we both thought we would be first and I was a little happy about it. I know I just need to get over it and I am not upset or anything...just a little sad.

Anyways my question is...if you didn't have the first gandchild on both sides did you think people were still excited about it?? Was it still a big event for your extended families??

I guess now I have to hope for the first in whatever sex of baby SIL doesn't have :o

[{b}]

I'm PG with what will be my parents' 3rd grandchild and my IL's 4th. It kind of stinks, because we're uber excited of course, but everyone else in the families is pretty much acting like this is just old hat, if you know what I mean. They are excited about baby coming, and excited for us, but not as excited as we had hoped. It's pretty disappointing, actually.

[Smittenk]

Ugh {b} , yeah that is exactly what I am afraid of too. I guess the only thing I can keep hope of is that we have the first of the different sex of SIL's baby on DH's side.

[lorbo]

DD was the 4th grandchild on my side and the first on DH's side...honestly, i think my family was more excited for us...but then, that's how it seems to go. with DS, who's the 5th grandchild on my side and 2nd on DH's side...my family practically raced to the hospital-well, sister and mom, other family members were there the next day, my inlaws took almost two weeks to come and see him in the hospital-no rush, though he was almost 8 weeks early, in congestive heart failure and blood incompatibility issues-thus the intervention, respiratory problems...they just took their good old time seeing him...and he was the first grandson on DH's side...the namesake to the long line of C's. still a bit bitter about that...but i don't think being the 4th or 5th had anything to do with excitment...i think it was just the family dynamics.

[IrishEyes]

My MIL had 8 great-grandchildren before we had DS! (DH has 3 half sisters who are 14-17 years older.) She was over the moon, though, because DH is her baby, and she's totally been spoiling DS.

[Sue]

We will have at least the 9th for my IL's - depending on if anyone gets pregnant before us. It will be the first for my folks, although I don't know if it'll be that big of a deal, they aren't the type that always ask about grandchildren. My IL's will probably be more excited because I think they had pretty much accepted the fact that we weren't going to have any - so it'll be a little surprise.

[jimmysgirl424]

I am not PG yet (TTC), but DH is the only son in his family. So although there are several grandchildren now, if we end up having a boy it will be a very big deal as that will mean that his family name gets carried on. If DH does not produce a son, his family name will die with him. :( There is nothing we can do about it either way, but I definitely feel the pressure anyway.

Other than that, it will still be a very big deal for our families no matter what we have.

[LyLMyssChaos]

My DD was grandchild #16 on DH's side and the 2nd on my side (but my parents don't see my sister and her son so they count my DD as the first) and I swear you couldn't tell that she wasn't the first. She is spoiled rotten. I think it's because there is such an age gap between the other grandkids and she is the first girl born here in the state in 15 years, so they totally ate up being able to spoil a girl after all the boys! I didn't notice a drop in enthusiasm with our other 2 kids either and they were grandchildren # 18 and 19 for my in-laws. I think it does help that my DH is his mom's baby though.

[LeslieR]

Yes and no. First in my family but not in DH's. However, there is a big age between DS and the (prior) youngest grandchild, so DS is still spoiled rotten on both sides.:p

[jenahdawn]

First (and second) on DH's side, 6th (and 7th) on my side. My parents (who are telling EVERYONE) keep saying it's just as exciting as the first. (But, I'm their only daughter, too.)~~And they know these are their last.

DH's side are excited, but don't really know what to think or do, so it's almost like my parents are more excited.

And I have no fears about them being spoiled from either side...it's going to happen anyway. *sigh* :)

[daphne]

DS was the 1st on my side, but the 3rd on DH's side (there have since been 3 more on that side). My SIL had her 2nd child 10 weeks before DS was born, but still managed to be incredibly supportive and excited to have her 1st nephew! She's since had 2 more children, but still really looks forward to seeing DS & makes a big deal about him. My IL's have been as excited for all of their grandchildren as they were for their 1st one. Maybe I'm just lucky (?), but it seems like the thrill of a new baby in the family never gets old.

[Smittenk]

It is good to hear that families still get excited...Thanks ladies, I appreciate it. Makes me feel better :)

[Happy1]

Hey, hey, hey. I was not spoiled (I was the first Grandchild on both sides). Well, maybe a little but it didn't last long. 3 months after I was born my cousins started coming. Needless to say I come from a family where there are many, many grandchildren on both sides. None of us have ever felt any less loved or left out of anything. It's amazing how far a Grandparent's love can stretch. ;) And every time it was announced that another one was coming, we all got excited about it. There are well over 25 grandkids just on my Dad's side of the family. That's a whole lot of exitement.

Nikki :D

[BrownEyedGirl]

Our DC (once it finally happens) will be the first on my side...I'm an only child. It will be the fifth for DH's parents. However if we have a girl, she will be the first granddaughter.

I was sort of sad when I heard that bil was having a baby (well, his wife actually) since that was the first blood grandchild for MIL (others are from step-child). But now, I've gotten over that.

[usafwife]

DD was the first grandchild on my side of the family (I'm an only child so my children will be the only grandchildren my parents will have). She was actually grandchild #7 (the first grandchild was stillborn) on my DH's side. Everyone was excited. It didn't matter that she wasn't the first grandchild on DH's side or if she was the 10th.

Everyone is just as excited with our second (my parents' second grandchild and #8 on DH's side). They can't wait for him/her to arrive in a few months.

[twinnyme]

DD was the third grandchild on both sides - BUT the first girl, so that made it not seem so "old hat" and everyone was VERY excited (and I was secretly very happy because I had a new novelty for them, because I too was afraid they wouldn't be as excited).

DD is still the only granddaughter, though we've since had two more grandchildren born (one on each side).

[maplekitty]

Nope.
We're #3 for Curt's side, and second little girl. However, Curt is the only son, and the baby of the family, so he's spoiled no matter what by MIL...and thus our baby is spoiled no matter what. We've been incredibly blessed with their generosity. In some ways I'm kind of happy we're not the *first* of anything, because SIL was given huge pressure to have the first girl. She didnt find out until birth what she was having, but MIL was all about it being a girl...and in some ways it really frustrated SIL because *what if* it was a boy!

[onomatopoeia]

I'm an only child so my kid was my parents' 1st grandchild and yes, I think my mom spoils my son, but she was like that with me, too. She buys all his diapers ( I think we've bought maybe 2-3 packages of diapers in the last 22 months) and when I switched to formula, she bought all of that, too. She also buys him WAY TOO many toys, but that's just how she is. She wants to take us shopping all the time, but she doesn't babysit hardly ever for me and we don't see her as often as we see MIL.

As for the inlaws, Pierce was the 3rd grandchild and my MIL acted very excited and has helped us immensely w/ babysitting letting us have date nights and time. Her two grandkids live out of town, so since we live so close, she spends a lot more time and attention on our son.

I never thought about the order of grandchildren, etc. but that's probably b/c I'm an only child and really don't think about it. Not sure if DH ever thought about it either.

[kdotp]

DS was the 2nd grandchild on DH's side (but the first boy) and the 4th grandchild (the second boy) on my side. Our families were all excited, even though he has two cousins that are just under and just over a year older than he. I'm sure they'll be just as excited for any future children we have as well...

[boilermaker]

Our baby will be the 6th for my parents and the 3rd for my ILs. I was honestly surprised how excited my parents are about it, which is really nice. I think the ILs are excited but they aren't generally exhuberant people, so who really knows.

[DallasLady]

Out baby is the first for my parents and the 7th for DH's. His family is way more excited and into it than mine. But, it's been 3 years since the last grandchild on DH's side and everyone has been not-so-patiently waiting for us to have a baby.

[jennylou]

DS was the first grandbaby on DHs side. And it irritates the piss out of me when people forget about it, but that's a topic for another post. DD is the third grandbaby, second granddaughter.

DS was the second grandbaby, first grandson for my dad/stepmom. I joke that he was the first, planned, married, non teenage pregnancy. My youngest half sister was due a few weeks after me though, she ended up having a girl though. Our DD was the fourth grandbaby, third granddaughter.

DS was the first grandbaby for my mom. DD is the second grandbaby. I suspect (based upon my sisters not wanting children) that we'll dictate the order here. ;)

[cosmic]

Don't worry--I think nearly all families are excited over a new baby. :)
My DS is the first grandchild on both sides and the attention from the exuberant grandparents can be OVERWHELMING and even frustrating at times. I'd settle for just "excited", lol.

[pride&prejudice]

If we every get pregnant, it will be the first gc and great gc on both sides. Well at least the great gc on his side. It would have been the first great gc for my grandmother, butshe just passed away and she was the last grandparent I had. I'm an only child and he's the oldest of 4 gc. His sister is 3 years younger and isn't dating anyone, so I don't think she'll be trying to "beat" us at that. :)

[kindermom]

Nope. On my side, we had gc #5. On DH's side, we had gc #9. On both sides, we are most loikely the last to have children so there is a mini-level of excitement. Otherwise, to be honest the excitement was limited. Not sure if it is just the way our families are.

[allyray231]

First grandchild on DH side, 2nd on mine and my parents were MORE EXCITED then DH parents/grandmother.

Depends on the people I guess.

[Steve's Sweety]

Ugh, this is a big sore point for me.

BIL & SIL went out and got married before we did even though we had announced our engagement and they weren't even engaged at the time.

Then when we were TTC she told me they were "too busy for kids" and then announced her pregnancy like a month later. I ended up getting PG right after but I wanted the first grandkid! Turns out it didn't really matter because unfortunately MIL isn't nearly as involved as I wish she would be.

Not an issue on my side because my parents are deceased.

Now, I am PG with our 2nd, but guess what? OF COURSE, SIL got PG first, right before I did (and this was after she told me it was still going to be a while for them and we could have the 2nd one first).

So anyway sorry to get on my own tangent but like I said, it's a very sore point. And so I feel ya!

[Smittenk]

Then when we were TTC she told me they were "too busy for kids" and then announced her pregnancy like a month later. I ended up getting PG right after but I wanted the first grandkid!

Now, I am PG with our 2nd, but guess what? OF COURSE, SIL got PG first, right before I did (and this was after she told me it was still going to be a while for them and we could have the 2nd one first).

Oh that would really frustrating to me too. Talk about wanting to steal thunder.


Don't worry--I think nearly all families are excited over a new baby. :)
My DS is the first grandchild on both sides and the attention from the exuberant grandparents can be OVERWHELMING and even frustrating at times. I'd settle for just "excited", lol.

Congratulations date mate!!!! I'm so happy for you!

This is why originally we didn't want the first on DH's side...it's weird that once that title was taken away we wanted it :o

[AndreaMMS]

My daughter is the second grandchild on my side, and the fourth on my husband's. She is also the second granddaughter on my side, and the third on my husband's (but she's the youngest grandchild on his side by almost 13 years).

Even so, both sides are over-the-moon about her and spoiling her rotten! I agree with the previous posters- it depends a lot on family dynamics.

[Renrel]

On DH' s side, we had the 4th and last, unless we have another or there is a big opps. On my side we had the third. (My parents, after having to wait way to long for any seem to be blessed with a new grandchild about every 1 to 1.5 years.) Since I was the first grandchild and first child I was kind of hoping to have a first myself I know there is some extra attention that goes with the position and I wanted to bless my child with that. But there was still plenty of excitement on both sides for us when I got pg. It helped a bit that on our side this was the first boy. My parents had no sons and my sister's at that point had no sons. A boy to play baseball with was a big deal to my Dad. On the other side of the family there had been no babies for about 5 or 6 years and my ILs had pretty much given up on DH getting married let along giving them a grandkid, so my son was a happy bonus which got them excited. On my DH's side my nieces was the first girl, like my son was the first boy and that generated some extra excitement for my MIL. In fact she kind of painted her self into a corner. She was always telling my neices how she was the best granddaughter in the world, assuming she was not getting any more. When I got PG my niece teased her as to whether she would still be the best if I had a girl. So, anyway, there are other ways to be first without being first.

[Winter Biscuit]

ITA that it depends on the family dynamics.

My DD was the first grandchild on my DH's side, and the 5th on my side. My IL's were thrilled to become grandparents, and my parents were thrilled to have another grandchild, even though they had already been through the process 4 times prior.

I am currently pregnant with #2, and this child will be the 6th on my side and the 4th on DH's side. Right now, there are ALL GIRLS on both sides of the family. So if the child I am carrying now is a girl, I fear that it will be viewed as "just another girl" by MIL (who has already told me that she 'hopes this one is a boy' :mad: ), while it will be crowned the family superstar if it is a boy as it will be the first boy on both sides.

In a way, I am dealing with the same kind of questions/emotions....will people still be excited about my 2nd child if it is "another" girl (which would be the 6th granddaughter for my parents and the 4th for MIL)? I know that sounds silly, and I KNOW that both sides will love this child and spoil it in its own ways no matter what. As far as I'm concerned, all that matters is that we have a healthy child. But I can't help wondering if there will be some real or implied disappointment (no matter how subtle) if the child I am carrying now is "another" girl and not the first grandson.

[lawphil]

On my side we will be at least the 7th and on Dh's the 3rd. And I think the type of reaction really depends on your family.

On my side, for each new grandchild my parents have been at the hospital as soon as a call came in...for number 5 that meant driving through a snow storm at 3am! We all take off of work to get to the hospital. It is just a big deal no matter the number.

On DH's side I know it will not be the same response. His family will have great love for the grandchild but they are just more reserved. whether it is the first or fiftieth.

[Annette]

For us it will definitely be the first on my side since I'm an only child. On Dh's side either the 2nd or 3rd since we're not sure when SIL is having another baby and I'm not pregnant either.

[cosmic]

Congratulations date mate!!!! I'm so happy for you!


Thanks! We love our little munchkin to pieces. Can't wait until it's your turn! :)

[Julss05]

Anyways my question is...if you didn't have the first gandchild on both sides did you think people were still excited about it?? Was it still a big event for your extended families??


Well I hope they are, I think every new addition to a family is special no matter what order. I'm the oldest out of six but my younger brother two years younger than me beat me to it twice with a boy and a girl:rolleyes:. DH's younger brother who is also two years younger had his first boy this year and will probably be trying for a 2nd child by the time we get around to our 1st. MIL wishes for a girl so maybe we can at least give that to her if BIL doesn't have any. At first it bothered me but now I feel like it is perfect because we will have our special time to produce a grandchild when nobody else in the family is, hopefully but if not it won't be the end of the world. I'm learning that conception and child rearing is not a race which is hard when I like to be the first, ahead of everyone else to do things.

[Pookie]

DS is the first on both sides, although DH is an only child. DS also would've been DH's grandparents' first great-grandchild. I really think it depends on the family dynamics. Yes, my IL's were thrilled about their first, but they are definately "status grandparents". Meaning that they are not really involved. Sure they LOVE pics to show their friends and are great at contributing financially, but they hardly ever spend time with DS. It's sad, but he doesn't really know them. On the other hand, my parents are happy to be grandparents, but didn't really start having to see/talk to him all the time until he was older than 14 months and started getting "fun." My parents have always favored my sister, so I'm sure when/if she has kids it will be the same.

[scubasam]

DS is the 8th grandbaby on DH's side and 2nd on my side. I was a little worried about this too but it's turned out to be so different.....he is completely doted on by everyone in the family and all the grandkids are loved uniquely. DH is also one of 6 so I think his family is just good at treating each person specially, which is amazing when they're so many of us! I think that there's also a teensy-tiny part that has to do with the fact that DH & I had 2 m/c's (we were the first in the family to experience this) before conceiving DS. Also, DH is the first boy out of his siblings and I think that plays a teensy-tiny part of the attention DS gets as well, at least w/ DH's parents....you know, the subconscious feelings of "our first son has his first son".....even though DH was the 2nd to last of his siblings to have a child. DS also shares a middle name w/ DH & FIL so there is a certain bond w/ that. FIL always calls him by his first & middle name.

DS is the first boy on my side. That creates a sense of uniqueness for my family but I have a 10 yr old niece who was my entire family's "baby" (sis was a single mom) so I think adding DS (and the fact that he is a boy) to the mix took my family a little getting used to.....in a good way, of course.

So, I guess what I'm saying is that there are many ways to look at it. It's not just about the order of which grandchildren are born, there are many reasons why each grandchild is uniquely special to grandparents and the rest of the family.

[nuhmah]

We had the first grandchild for my parents, and the 6th for DH's parents.

It stinks because I know DS will not get the same attention and outpouring of love, affection (and gifts!!) that the other grandkids get because he is a step-grandchild for his step-mom. DH got treated very differently than her "real" children, so we are anticipating the same thing. The only time this would really bother us is at the gift giving occasions - she tends to spend about $500 per grandkid at Christmas, and we don't want him to feel left out.

[Alanna]

omg we didnt even come close... but DH and i are both youngest children and i guess dont have a lot of expectations when it comes to being first....

DD is #9 on my side (im the 4th of 4 children) and
she is #3 on his side (he is #2 of 2)

if we manage to have a boy though... we will have the first and only boy on his side since his sister had two girls and is 'done"

i think that would be nice.. but more so since he is the only son in his family it would be nice to to carry on the family name etc...

that being said... its really a minor consideration... but when you are the youngest in a big family... you are used to always coming in last...

[Lindsy23]

On my Mom's side, I wont have the first Grandchild because my sister is quite a bit older than me, it doesnt bother me with her because she isnt the type to have favorites.

BUT... on my DH's side, he and his brother are twins and everything always seems to be a competition. As of now, neither of us have kids, and DH and I have been trying since October. I really hope that we have the 1st, because his Mom has already said that will be the favorite, and I dont want our child to be treated differently.

I know that sounds so bad, but I can't help it. I KNOW his parents would treat the 2nd Grandchild differently. I shouldn't be thinking this way, SOMEONE HELP! :)

[Sunshine]

DH and I are both the oldest in our families, so we were hoping we would be the first...but, it is sad to say, we knew my sis would be the first.
My G-ma is more excited for ours tho(again, kind of sad) b/c my sis Never goes to visit them. She still hasnt picked up her Christmas present from last year.
So in a sense, we are kind of having the first grandchild........(on my side)
DH's sister already has 3 children, and she is 5 years younger than him!

But we are fine with how everything worked out! It all goes the way it does for a reason:D Or so I like to believe:p

[kimthebride]

Our DS was my IL's 4th grandchild and my parent's 7th. Both sets of parents FREAKED OUT with joy when we announced we were pg. There was a lot of screaming, crying, hugging.

We just announced we are pg again, and they are yet again teary with joy.

I'm finding that they find grandparenthood to be such a joy that #1 or #50 is just as exciting to them.

[diedra1027]

DD is IL's third grandchild (or 7th if you count the blended family children for FIL) and third grandchild for my parents. First granddaughter for both though.

Like others, I found everyone to be just as excited for our kid as all the others (and I too worried that they'd all be 'old hat' by then too!). They are all about to get another announcement here next week too :D (This will be #4 for ILs, #5 for my parents).

[lady1297]

My son is #17 (or so) out of 20 on DH's side and #1 on my side. He was very spoiled by my parents with gifts and time and love. But it wasn't DH's parents fault that they couldn't do the same. They love him TONS because he's DH's son and he's gold there, but with 20+ grandkids already, they just can't afford to spoil with THINGS. He gets cousins when we go there and that is fabulous for us to watch. Here with my family, he get's 'things' and lots of individual attention with is equally wonderful. Now, if #2 is a girl, then she will be viewd a bit different because there are less girls on DH"s side and just me on my side. So I think she'll be spoiled even more just because.

[kimthebride]

The "things" spoiling is a good point. The more grandkids you have, the less money you have to go around. So it appear lesser spoiling, but they still do a good job, LOL.

But as for actual excitement...I just told my mom and am only 7 weeks along yet she is already planning on managing time off to be here for when DC #2 is born. I guarantee when I go up to see her in a few weeks for her bday she has a gift already!!

I will admit I am looking forward to grandparenthood, because the joy I see on my IL's and parent's faces when they see theirs is just priceless. It must be so wonderful to enjoy your own kids' babies.

[BusyBee]

On DH's side, DD is the 3rd grandchild, but BIL's 2 kids are already grown. In fact, my MIL was already a great-gma. Also, they grew up halfway across the country, so she did not see them as regularly as DD.

On my side, our DD is the first grandchild and great-grandchild to both great-grandmas, one of whom is still the only great-gma among her 5 sisters.

My sister and cousin (1 and 2 years younger) are next in line, but neither are ready to get married yet, so there was no competition. They are a very exicited aunt & uncle. DD's generation will be well spaced out.

When we told my parents this weekend about DC#2, it was like deja-vu all over again when we announced #1 - first thing they started discussing names. In fact, they seemed more excited about the new baby because they skipped the shock of becoming grandparents, especially my dad.
He is going to visit his mother in Europe in a couple of days, but couldn't wait to tell her and called the next morning.

[DelSol]

Were are currently TTC, on my side this will be the 2nd GC if my sister doesn't announce she is pg any time soon since my niece is now 2 years old, I suspect the will start trying soon. On DH's side, this will be the 1st GC, SIL doesn't want kids or so she says.

I know my mom went over board with my niece and I really don't see her doing it with my baby but that's just how it's been. My sister got married first and got spoiled at her shower, I got a lot but I know my sister got more. I am the oldest and even DH makes comments how my mom favors my sister. But then I look at my MIL and think she favors SIL although DH is spoiled on his side also. Guess we really can’t win.

[jenahdawn]

The "things" spoiling is a good point. The more grandkids you have, the less money you have to go around. So it appear lesser spoiling, but they still do a good job, LOL.


I'm, I think, #44 on my mom's side, and they were just as excited for me. I never got spoiled with things, but I was my grandfather's youngest, so I was spoiled with attention. (There are now 47.)

[Rancid13]

We're definitely not having the 1st grandchild. We'll be the 2nd on my side of the family~ my brother and his wife have a 2-year old little girl. I was actually relieved when SIL got pg because everyone laid off the "so when are you two going to make your parents into GRANDparents?" questions from folks. Thanks bro!! :D We will be having the first grandBOY on my side of the family.

FIL is a bit on the older side age-wise (70?), so DH has an older 1/2 sister who has 3 full grown kids (one of whom is just a couple years younger than me and another of which already has a 2-year old making me a great aunt), an older full sister with 2 kids (ages 13 and 7) and an older brother with a 2-year old boy. We'll be having the 7th grandchild on DH's side of the family.

I don't think the fact that this isn't the first grandbaby in either of our families makes the event any less special. My mom couldn't be happier about becoming a grandma again, and MIL even flew out here from Hawaii this week to attend my shower this weekend, and intends on staying here thru December so she can be nearby when the baby is born. :D

Hey, hey, hey. I was not spoiled (I was the first Grandchild on both sides). Well, maybe a little but it didn't last long. 3 months after I was born my cousins started coming.

Same here. I was the only grandchild on either side for almost 3 years until the next-oldest cousin came along. :)

[ivory]

My Grandma has 25 grandchildren (not counting great-grandchildren) and she was just as excited for and cute about the one that was born 2 years ago as I imagine she was for the first that was born over 40 years ago (her children span a wide age-range, obviously).

As for myself and DH, we won't be first on either side. We've always said that it's great though, because it took the pressure off us. We've been married over 3 years with no babies and no complaints. I sometimes think it's too bad we couldn't be first, but now we just get to do everything right that our siblings did wrong. :)

[jmvan74]

DS was the 2nd grandson on my side and the 4th grandchild on IL's side. DS is 8 years younger than my sister's son. My mom spoils him a bit, but not nearly as much as my nephew. It kind of hurts my feelings. FIL was more excited than SMIL since she already had 3 biological grandkids. FIL was so excited about DS that he took us out to dinner and made a toast to everyone there! However, the IL's definitely spend more time and energy on the other kids. :(

[pocahontas]

Ours will be the 5th for my mom but the FIRST on DH's side since his older brother got married after us (to an older woman with TEENAGERS who claims she's not having anymore. :rolleyes: ) So I think we will get the distinction of first GC for my MIL which really wouldn't matter 'cuz BIL lives in another state...so even if SIL popped up preggo MIL would never see the kid. Either way, DH and I know that ours will be spoiled 'cuz MIL can't wait. Even though, ours will be my mom's 5th she will be ecstatic because I am the baby of the family and her youngest grandchild is now 12. So there are no babies left. When we went home to visit this summer my older sister was pressing us telling us she can't wait. LOL :p

[cat_loverpq]

I have always expected to have the first GC on my side, since I'm the oldest and my brother is 3 years younger than me, not married, and still in college. So you can imagine the sting I felt when he told me that his girlfriend of one month (who is 2 years younger than him!) is pg. The dagger in the heart was finding out only 2 months before we had planned to start ttc. :( After I got over the initial shock, I realized that our child (when we have one) will be special b/c it will be the one that was "done right" if you kwim. ;) And there's always hope that it will be the opposite sex of my brother's child and be a first that way.

Our child will be the 8th on DH's side, with 2 babies being born in the past 6 months, so I don't really expect a ton of attention from that side. I hope I'm wrong!

The silver lining for me...I expect lots of cute hand-me-down baby clothes! :D

[ejs]

Our baby will be the third grandchild on both sides, but the first grandson on my side. It's never even crossed my mind to be disappointed that we're not having the first grandchild.

Our parents have been as excited for ours as they were for the others.

I'm kind of glad we're not having the first. It's given us an opportunity to learn how the grandparents will be with the baby. Will they follow the guidelines we establish or will they do what they want to do? Will they respect that we're the parents and want to raise the child how we want or will they constantly be giving "advice"?

[dancn226]

So in regards to this, I am pretty happy because on my side, My sister is in a race with me (as she says)...but she is not married, and still lives with my mom!!! I am going ot make sure we have the 1 st grandchild on my side, because on my DH's side, his sister already has 3 kids, like a year apaprt a peiuce. Crazy....so yes, this a big plan. My sister told my mom that if she didn't ahve the first grandchild, then she wasn't having any....My mom laughs and says if she plans on having any kids she must have her own house first....:0) Funny stuff!!!

[tlew12778]

My sister's got 7 kids and my mom totally favors the pen-ultimate. I have no idea why. She does a lot of things with the oldest, but I think that is bc my sister asks for a lot of advice (and her daughter is 19!). Since my mom went through many similar experiences with me more recently (I am only 9 years older than my niece) she helps my sister with a lot of things (like the college process, the prom drama, etc.)

My parents are very excited for us to have kids. I think it's bc I am the baby of the family and there hasn't been a grandchild in 9 years. Ours will be the first on DH's side and his mom cannot wait! I actually have thought about how I can ensure she doesn't spoil him/her too much...

[pewee9196]

I am the 5th on my side but my family is more excited then DH. We are the first on that side. My MILs response..."oh, ok" and then changed the subject. You never know!

[snoopy30]

I had the first grandchild for my parents but the 3rd for DH's parents. There was already a boy in the mix too so it wasn't the first in that regard either for that side.

There is nothing like the first grandchild...but..to my in-law's credit they have been just as excited about DS. I think they're all pretty special in the eyes of a grandparent.

I worried some about it before I had a baby but it hasn't been an issue.

[lkendra00]

On DH's side our son will be the 7th grandchild. My ILs are really excited though because SIL keeps her 6 away from them so they really don't have a relationship with their grandchildren. They don't say much though and it's been a rocky pregnancy dealing with comments from that side.

On my side, he'll be the third. My mom tells everyone about him so I know they are excited. And she's taken to her duties to spoil him rotten without my stepdad knowing.

[emmjay]

On my side, DS is the second grandchild and the first boy - I have a 3 yr old niece.

DH's brother has four kids but they are completely estranged from the rest of the family so DS is the fifth grandchild, but the only one my ILs ever see.

[KaliLily]

I'm the last grandchild on both sides of my family, and have become accustomed to being the last to do everything. :rolleyes: DH has a younger sister, but she married the year before us and had kids pretty quickly. Her first and my brother's one-and-only were born w/in 5 months of each other.

It doesn't bother me that I won't produce a first grandchild on either side, I figure that my last child and I can share the bond of being the last grandchild in our generations. :D Besides, by the time DH and I have a baby my niece and nephews will all be over 5 years old - we'll be introducing the first baby in YEARS.