Tough Second

[Bucktown]

Since the TTC #2 thread has hit 1000 posts, and since I really don't keep up there anymore, I'd like to start a new group for those who are TTC #2 (or more!) and have been trying for longer than 6 months. There are some great threads/groups out there already but to some extent I feel misplaced. I already have 1 DS so I feel guilty for getting upset/frustrated/angry/sad when it hasn't happened yet, and jealous as all hell when another gets pg quickly.

So anyway, here it is. Hopefully more of you will join me cause I don't want to drudge though it alone. I'm not going to do threadmisttress type stuff, so if you'd like to join tell us your story and we'll remember!

Me~ I'm 35 & DH is 39. We have been TTC #2 since the beginning of Feb '06. We seriously thought it would happen immediately since DS was conceived on our 2nd cycle. He is almost 27 months now. After DS's birth, I suffered from multiple pulminary emboli 6 days post c-section and pre-eclampsia post-partum. When they scanned me for the PE's they found a 6mm mass in the throat which turned out to be thyroid cancer. After I was off the coumadin, I had my thyroid removed in April '05. I'm still cancer free! I have met with an MFM (maternal fetal medicine) doc who will be following me my entire pregnancy once it happens. I will be on lovenox the entire pg & 6 weeks post-partum. Small price to pay to have another child and to survive to be a mom! I started seeing an RE July '06. c/d 3 bloodwork was ok, though my e2 was slightly elevated. Had an HSG that was normal. DH had an S/A which is ok but 'not perfect' in my RE's verbage. This month we were officially taking a break since DH was touring with his band, but we managed to BD on cd11 while he was in town for 6 hours. I O'd on cd13 this cycle. Maybe? If no BFP this month I start clomid next cycle. RE is concerned about me with multiples because of my history but I like the idea of extra targets for DH's boys. And if we do get 2 or more that will officially put me on the DONE list of procreation. :D Anyone else?

[almostthere]

I was just thinking of starting this thread today. I joined the still at it but feel bad complaining since I do have a 3 year old DD.

Me: I am 28 and my DH is 32, We have been trying to concieve for over a year, I have had two blighted ovums and most recent last week a chem pregnancy. My chromosonally test etc are normal but my FSH is elevated at 12.1. We started seeing a RE this month. I had prior to my pregnancy with DD 3 laprscopic surgeries to remove dermoid cysts and pelvic adhesions. Last Dec with my miscarriage I had another round of extremmly large dermoids again and they surgicaly removed them. I have gotten pregnant 2x since but both have ended badly so we do not know if the egg quality is bad or just bad luck. I have limited tissue left and we do believe time is running out though I ovulate monthly.

Secondary Infertility is really tough I said in another thread today that I watch our friends move on to their second and third and I wonder if I should be grateful for what we have and stopped but all I can do is be jealous and want more. I also feel like my DD will be so much older then this next, if ever baby. What will the dynamics be and what would they have been.

[Bucktown]

almostthere I have been following the SAI girls for about 2 months now but have never posted because it didn't feel appropriate for me to do so. I feel the same as this:

Secondary Infertility is really tough I said in another thread today that I watch our friends move on to their second and third and I wonder if I should be grateful for what we have and stopped but all I can do is be jealous and want more. I also feel like my DD will be so much older then this next, if ever baby. What will the dynamics be and what would they have been.

Before we began trying for #2 I thought that I was crazy to want to TTC again after knowing *just how lucky* we are that I survived the PE's. I thought that I should be grateful for what I have and don't tempt fate again. BUT, I've always want at least 3 kids. And DH & I are older parents and I don't want DS to be alone when we are gone. Now that we've been trying for 8 months now I don't even think about the risks. Just that I REALLY want this second baby. I was concerned with the spacing as well but as my own personal deadline approaches as to when I'd stop gets closer, I'm willing to give it more time. I think I read a response in one of the other threads that someone posted to you about a 6 yr difference in age between sibs? I thought that was a great story. Plus, my mom & her 2 sisters (the middle being 11 years older than my mom) had a similar experience. Her 2 sisters adore her and the 3 are very close.

And lastly, for the night, I'm so sorry for the several losses you have experienced. No one should ever be forced to endure that kind of pain. I hope that we can help eachother through these trials and in the end be successful new mommies again!

[bellabonga]

My DD was born via c-section because she was breech. That was in February 2003. My c-section scar has sprawled internally which sometimes made ovulation very painful for me. I have no clue if that sprawling is starting to cause problems now.

After DD´s birth I used the Nuvaring and stopped using it in August 2004 as I did not want hormonal contraception anymore. At this point I wasn´t sure if we were ready for another child and decided to just see what happens. What happened was: nothing. I had a hormone check done in October 2005 on CD 21 that revealed that I was low on progesterone. Since then I took Vitex to shorten my cycles and increase my progesterone level. In late 2005 I was pg but a heavy AF ended this just 10 days later.

Since then we actively TTC. In March 2006 I got pregnant again but I had a missed abortion at 10w4d in late May. I later found out that it was a girl with trisomy 21 and a severe heart defect that caused her heart to stop beating. This means that my risk to have another child with trisomy 21 increased by 0.5%. This does not sound much but age-wise my risk would be 0.3% (I´ll turn 34 this month) and when you add that, my risk is now 0.8%. So the increase is somewhat like instead of 1:325 now my risk is 1:120. Age-wise this means instead of the risk of a 34 yo I now have the risk of a 38 yo. :(

The m/c has effected me very much, both emotionally and physically. I had abnormal bleeding for 5.5 weeks after the m/c and my hcg level dropped much too slowly. For the first month after the m/c my doctor put me on the pill to get my body back on track earlier. In July I ovulated with my right ovary which I only do 1-2 times a year. The other 10-11 times I ovulate with my left ovary. Only that it did not happen in August. I did not ovulate at all. Another hormone check on CD 21 revealed that I´m now even lower on progesterone, even though I started taking Vitex again in June. But obviously now it doesn´t help anymore. My doctor wanted to put me on Clomid straight away but I refused because it had been my first anovulatory cycle. Too bad that it is possible that I did not ovulate this cycle too. I had another bloodwork done on CD 21 (today I´m on CD 23) and I will get the results today in the afternoon. So if this was another anovulatory cycle, I will start Clomid soon. I´m also thinking about having a HSG done because I think it seems as if my active left ovary somehow isn´t working anymore since the m/c or d&c.

So, that was my medical history. Emotionally being back to TTC is pretty hard for me, especially as I know that I would have had my baby girl in December if she had been healthy. Most moms I know have long had their second child, most of the #2s are already walking. I´m sad because I feel like I should have gotten active earlier. Now the age difference is already less than thrilling. Even if I got pregnant soon again, the age difference would be 4.5 years. And because of my age, the down syndrome risk and me being now anovulatory, I hear the clock ticking loudly. I am an only child and so is DH, so DD won´t have any family left once my parents and we are dead. So I really, really hope I will have another healthy child.

I am a member of the SWH group since July but most of the other members are much younger than I am and most of them are first time TTCers. So I would be glad to join here as well if you think that I fit in. :)

[Bucktown]

Bella I think you fit right in! I'm terribly sorry for your loss as well. I have not experienced a m/c but it makes me very sad to think that it's always a possibility. Especially since carrying my DS and knowing how strong that bond is from the moment I found out I was pg. I'm sure the pain can be unbearable at times. Will you be having any further testing or are you seeing an RE?


Question Are either of you (almostthere & bella) charting? I started charting with DS#1 and for the past 8 months too. I swore I wouldn't this cycle since there was such a remote possibility in getting pg but old habits are hard to break. Really, I don't believe that charting is good for anything other than confirming O. I had several charts that were just screaming PG! PG! Then AF showed. I think the killer came when I tested with 2 CVS tests that had light +++ 2 days in a row, then an Equate was ---, then AF showed the next day.

Me~ 6DPO and taking it with a grain of salt. I have been trying to temp in the morning but not sure why. It just gets my hopes up.

[bellabonga]

Bucktown, here in Germany we don´t differentiate that much between a RE and a normal obgyn. We only have special doctors for IVF and other invasive methods. So as long as I don´t need to move on to IVF, I can keep my regular obgyn.
I wanted to try charting this month because of last month´s anovulatory cycle but failed miserably. The first day I jumped out of bed to write down my temperature only to notice that I wasn´t sure anymore if it was 36.37°C or 36.73°C which is a huge difference. Naturally I had used the only thermometer in our house without a memory function. :rolleyes: The next three days I forgot to take my temperature altogether and then I decided that charting simply is not for me.


I got great news today: I ovulated this cycle! :D My doctor said that if he had to give me grades, my progesterone level was A-B and my estrogene a C+. But he said that I definitely ovulated. Yippie! :D We BD on CD 9, 11, 13, 14 and 15 and ovulation must have taken place on late CD 15. So I think we´ve covered our bases pretty well. We´ll see...

[almostthere]

I do chart, regularly but having seen the RE this month he said know that we know i do ovulate I should stop but I cannot seem to. Yeah this lat miscarriage was basically a chem pregnancy - i can;t decide if knowing I was pregnant was better then not knowing.

I am anxious to learn if this changes any of the protocal - I have anotehr blood test in the morning and will speak with the speacialist at some point soon.

[bellabonga]

It seems like that was it again for this cycle. I´m only on CD 24 (9DPO) and had some light pink spotting when I wiped. Why this? We had such good timing this cycle and still it did not work.

[Bucktown]

Bella Are your LP's usually this short? Is it possible it can be implantation? It would definitely be within the timeframe. With such a good progesterone check one would have to wonder what else could be happening.

Almostthere Chem pg or not it's still painful I'm sure. I hope you find out more answers with the RE.

Nothing exciting here. Getting ready to head to the casino in a few hours. :)

[OctoberPrincess]

Hey everbody, I guess this is the place I should be also. I keep thinking next month will be the month so why bother joining a group but it's just not happening for me so I paid a visit to an RE and am in the testing phase of things. I just had a day 21 testing done a week ago and will take my day 3 FSH test tomorrow, DH will have his SA on Friday. We are on cycle 4 of charting.

Bucktown congrats on beating cancer, sounds like you had a rough time right after your baby was born but it's great that you were able to hold it together. Here's holding out hope that one time was enough for you!

Almostthere I'm so sorry for you losses. I am also 28 and DH is 34, we have also been ttc for a year and just saw an RE for the first time on Aug 29.

Bellabonga so sorry for you losses as well, I can only imagine how difficult it must be to recover from such a loss. I agree with Bucktown about the spotting, could be implantation spotting...??

[Bucktown]

I'm back home after a wonderful 2 weeks visiting my parents in Salt Lake City. I'm so sad not to be there with them. Anyway,

Welcome October Princess! Ok, not to sound like a freak or anything but were you part of the Summer '04 mommies group? I was not but followed everyone from pregnancy till a few months ago. I always wanted to introduce myself since I knew so much about everyone on there but never did. What a lurker I was/am! I'm glad to see you are seeing an RE. Hopefully they can give you some answers as to what's taking so long! Everyone always tells me how easy it was to conceive #2,#3, blah blah blah because once you've been pg your body always wants to do that & 'remembers' how. Whatever. Mine must not have gotten the memo. :rolleyes: Hoping for a short stay for you.

almostthere How are things going for you?

Bella What's happening in Germany?? Have you continued to spot? Have you tested?

Me~ 10DPO. I was kinda hopeful but not so much anymore. I tested (yeah, early) and it was a BFN. My breasts are starting to lose their soreness just like always before AF arrives. Still not due for 4 days though. I'll call the RE on Wed to see if I can pick up my prescription for clomid since I'll be at the hospital on Thursday anyway to see my endo. AF will most likely start on Fri/Sat and I think you start clomid on cd3? My RE's office is not open on the weekends so I don't want to miss the boat again.

[bellabonga]

I´m still in shock but I tested today and got a faint but definitely visible second line. So you were probably right about implantation spotting. It is still very, very early as I´m only on CD 27 / 12DPO and AF is only due tomorrow or the day after. I´m cautious after the m/c, so I try not to get my hopes up too high. Which isn´t easy as you all know. ;)

[Bucktown]

Bella in that case, a very cautious yet optimistic CONGRATULATIONS!

[OctoberPrincess]

Bella What great news, congratulations and I'm sending all the sticky vibes I can muster your way!

Bucktown yes, I was/am in the Summer 04 mommies group LOL. Apparently my body hasn't gotten the memo either.:rolleyes: Are you nervous about possible side effects of chlomid? I have a feeling I may be taking it for my next cycle. Here's hoping you don't have to take it at all and you are surprised the same way Bella was.

[kerrykate]

Hi ladies I'd like to join.

I had a m/c back in March and ever since then AF has been whacky. I start spotting 5-6 days before AF is due which is not normal for me and really sucks because it's like I'm on my period for 2 weeks. I've never had a problem getting pg, heck I got pg before dh and I were married and we were definitly not trying, although it ended up in a miscarriage. I went to the doctor and he thinks that an estrogen dominance problem is causing the spotting. So I had an ultrasound yesterday to check out my uterus lining and ovaries, the tech said everything looked good and I should be o'ing soon. I also have bloodwork on cd 21. And I have been charting the last 3 cycles. It's so frustrating since I appear to be O'ing, we have good BD timing, everything seems perfect then I start spotting...

Bella~ Congrats to you :D

Bucktown~ Really, I don't believe that charting is good for anything other than confirming O
I totally agree with you! My temps have looked great and I get my hopes up but BFN everytime.

almostthere~ Sorry about your chemical pregnancy. Chemical pg's are so hard b/c you get so excited then it's so confusing/difficult to see AF.

OctPrincess~ Good luck with the testing hopefully you'll get some answeres.

[Bucktown]

OctoberPrincess My DS was born 6/23/04 and I can't believe that now he looks like a bonafide 'little boy'. Clomid~nah, I'm not at all concerned about the possible side effects if there's a chance it will help me get pg! And I would seriously doubt that I'll get a surprise in the next few days because I have wicked PMS right now and I don't remember that with pg #1. Of course, I had no job and no toddler to parent so I had no reason to be stressed. ;) . Well, I still have no job but DS is 2 and he's crazed!

kerrykate Welcome! So sorry to hear of your recent m/c. Interesting re: the dominant estrogen theory. I have the opposite side of spotting---AF is medium to heavy for 3-4 days then I spot till I get EWCM. Once I O it's done. I suppose I should mention this to the RE but everyother OB I've seen said it's nothing.

[OctoberPrincess]

Kerrykate welcome, sorry for your loss. Hopefully the testing will help you get some answers too.

Bucktown you should definitely mention the prolonged spotting to your RE I remember reading (pg 227 of TCOYF) that prolonged brown or black bleeding at the end of your period lasting more than 2 days can indicate sub-optimal luteal function. We celebrated DS's birthday on 6/23 this year as his birthday fell on Father's day. I can totally understand your DS making you nuts...mine can be amazingly wonderful one minute, and horrific the next..it's really quite scary (ah those terrible 2's).

[Bucktown]

October Princess Thank you for that info. I will definitely bring it up when I call tomorrow! I had that kind of spotting with the cycle I got pg with DS so I haven't really thought much of it. Actually, I think all my cycles have been like that since I can remember.

[Bucktown]

I am so f****** pissed at myself right now! I have this nasty little habit of POAS, observing till the time limit, taking it apart, holding it to all different kinds of light, throwing it in the trash, then pulling it OUT OF THE TRASH several hours later to peek. Yesterday I POAS, did all of the above, BFN---clearly. TONIGHT I pull it out AGAIN and there is the line! D@mn it d@amn it d@mn it!!!! Logically I know I cannot except this as +++. I know it. But my heart wants to believe so bad and now my hopes are up.

Hi, my name is Bucktown, and I'm addicted to re-analyzing my used PG tests.

What the he!! is wrong with me????? No need to answer that, I'm just SUPER pissed!

[jjsanner]

I'd like to join and introduce myself.

We've been TTC#2 since April '05. I started seeing an RE in November '05. All tests have come back fine so I am officially "unexplained". I've done 6 cycles of clomid, 3 of them monitored with an HCG trigger shot, and one cycle of clomid/trigger/IUI. All of those resulted in BFN's. Oddly enough, I've had two chemical pregnancies, both during non-medicated cycles; the first was this past Feb. and the most recent of which was this past month. In fact, I'm still bleeding slightly. I go back in tomorrow for more bloodwork to make sure my levels have dropped back down to zero. At this point we are trying to decide what to do next. We may meet with the RE to begin testing to see why I am miscarrying, but I'm thinking that we are done with the drugs because I seem to be able to get pregnant on my own. And I don't think the clomid worked for me anyway. Our next option would be injectibles.

DS was born 2/6/04 (on our 1st try two weeks after we returned from our honeymoon!) and is smack dab in the middle of the terrible two's! He's my life, and I feel so fortunate to have him. However, I get so sad when I think that I may not be able to give him a sibling. And I too get so jealous when others get pregnant right away, or get pregnant without even trying. That's the worst.

I am also concerned about the child spacing. I always wanted my kids to be close together. Now, even if I am blessed and conceive this next cycle (which is highly unlikely) they will be almost 3 1/2 years apart. I never thought it would take this long.

Bella, sending sticky vibes your way!

Bucktown, here's to hoping that this is it for you!

Hi to everyone else.

[almostthere]

Bella sticky vibe and a very quiet maybe congratulations

Bucktown I have the same problem, I have spent countless hundreds on pregnancy tests in the past year, I have a self admited POAS addiction

I am having a very hard time lately, I think with my DD age of 3 so many people around us have newborns. I took my DD to her first dance class on Monday and instead of enjoying it I was so overwhelmed by the women who had these seconds there and that I should be there with another of pregnant if my first 2 miscarriages had not happened.

We see the RE on Thursday so I will let you all know the next step.

[Bucktown]

jjsanner Welcome! I am so sorry for your losses as well. It makes me sad to realize that with each new welcome I seem to be typing '...sorry for your loss...'. :( I would definitely pursue testing on why you are miscarrying. I'm assuming that since you've done clomid/IUI you've had all the respective b/w done. I hope you find some answers. My DS was conceived on our second cycle so we too never, ever thought #2 would take this long either. Especially since I chart & know my most fertile days. Secondary infertility sucks BIG time.

almostthere I'm sorry you are feeling so bad. Yesterday I had a similar experience when I brought DS to the first session of soccer. I just about lost it when I saw most of the moms pg. One even brought her newborn. Ugh. It was horrible. I considered switching classes for a split second but then realized that it's probably the same in others. Good luck at your RE visit. It helped me to make that appointment and to know I'm trying to do something than to just wait & see what happens awhile longer.


Me~ Temp a little down this morning. Past 3 days have dropped. Previously, I said I didn't think that temping is good for anything other than to confirm O.....and when AF is coming. She'll be here soon. I'm calling my RE in 10 minutes to pick up my clomid prescription tomorrow to most likely start this weekend.

[Bucktown]

Ok, so I just got off the phone with my RE's nurse. I'll be starting clomid (100mg) on cd3 after a baseline u/s. I'm very excited to try something new!

I'm taking DS ice skating this afternoon so hoping for a lovely afternoon of fun together. :D

[OctoberPrincess]

:mad: just lost a whole long post...be back later...have to cool off.

Bucktown let me know if DS enjoyed ice skating as I was just thinking about it this afternoon as I drove past our local rink.

[kerrykate]

jjsanner~ I'm so sorry you had another chem pg. It's such a rough/puzzeling road. I'm in the same boat as you, getting pg is only half the battle now, staying pg is another story. I swear once I get pg again if I have another m/c I may have to run away for a while!

Bucktown~ Your post cracked me up, I'm also a POAS-aholic. Even after all the BFN's if I have a test in the house and I'm 8 dpo you better believe it won't last. Hopefully you'll get a great result with the 100mg of clomid.

almostthere~ I know how you feel, my DD will be 3 soon and so by the time we have the next one she'll be close to 4 if not older... It's frustrating and it makes it so hard to see pg women. My SIL is due in 3 weeks and my would be due date if I hadn't m/c is in 5 weeks, I really hope I get pg soon or next month is going to be very difficult. Good luck at the RE.

I *should* be ovulating today or tomorrow. We have definitly covered our bases so damit I want a BFP! Going through all this makes me feel sooooo lucky to have DD.

[Bucktown]

So, after 2 days of temp rises after a not really a significant drop in temps, I decided to test. BFN. I'm so bummed right now. I also dipped an OPK with the same urine (POAS addicted, remember?) and it's so close to being positive. So, not only am I not PG but I guess I'm getting ready to O again :confused: . My bb's are still alittle sore even though usually the soreness goes away by 12dpo on non-pg cycles. I tested with a FRER so I'm sure it's sensitive enough, it's just neg. My body has found a new way to trick me. :(

October Princess Ice skating went pretty well. I suppose I wasn't totally prepared to support all of DS's 30+ lb body while we s.l.o.w.l.y made our way around the rink. Within 45 minutes though he was attempting to 'walk' on the ice so my back got a bit of a break. My entire back was pretty sore yesterday, like a workout sore, but today it's pretty good. Our rink has a class for Tots/Parents (3+ yrs) once a week where they use 'chair' type supporters on the ice so the kids can hold on to them and push. I asked how strict they were on age and it's not too bad. I might fudge a bit on DS age since he *looks* like a 3 yr old size wise.

I also picked up my prescription for clomid yesterday. I was really hoping I wouldn't need to use it. I hope the witch shows tomorrow so I don't have to suffer too long.

[OctoberPrincess]

I can't deal right now...I'm PO'd as I just typed another LONG post and lost it because it asked me to sign in as if I weren't already!:mad:

[skb]

jjsanner Just dropping in to say very sorry to read of your loss. I was hoping you were wrong about the spotting. Take care.

octoberprincess Not that this is the solution or will make you feel better.....but when I've taken longer to type a post the square to sign in sometimes appears. I've found that if I put in my name and password it will redirect and the post is not lost.

[OctoberPrincess]

OK, let's see if I can remember to copy this before I send it so that I don't waste another precious post..LOL.

jjsanner welcome to the group, I'm so sorry for your losses. I would definitely speak to your RE about testing to see why you cannot keep a pregnancy once you have achieved it.

Kerrykate I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this is your month...we have had our bases covered so many months in a row with still no BFP, hoping you have better luck this month!

skb thanks for the tip, so maybe I am deleting it myself by going back when I see the sign in request?? We shall see what happens this time but I'm am copying this post just in case!

Bucktown Your skating rink sounds really nice, I will have to check out the one by me and see what they have to offer as I would love to see DS's reaction his first time on ice! My DS can not pass for a 3 year old (he's barely 24 lbs) sounds like you have a big boy on your hands, does he eat well? BTW, I am sorry to hear that the witch is on her way:mad:, hopefully the Chlomid does the trick and the next cycle will be YOUR cycle. I know what you mean about hoping that you woulnd't even need the Chlomid because you would just get a BFP.

CD6 for me, bloodwork came in and everything looks fine, I will get the results for DH's S/A on Monday when I see the RE. They did find that I am slightly anemic and would like me to take an iron supplement. The arrival of AF hit me the hardest this month, I tricked myself into believing this would be the month and all my worries would just go away but it's not. I hope everything turns out well with the S/A but I don't know what scares me more, find out that something is wrong, or being diagnosed with undiagnosed infertility. I'm tired already, I hate the thought that this could last for who knows how long and I feel like my life is constantly on hold though I feel terrible typing that because I know there are ladies on these boards that have been ttc for much longer than I have. I just can't deal with this rollercoaster every month. Sorry, I guess I'm just venting. Here's hoping someone has good news shortly.

[Bucktown]

Big temp drop for me today. I wasn't even surprised because I knew there is no PG. Hoping for AF today or tomorrow. My lower back is killing me and I've had some cramping. The back issue is probably because I went to bed at 8 last night & decided DH would take care of DS this AM so I laid in bed till 8 am. I had my pity party yesterday (though DS celebrated being an only child for at least one more month ;) ) by making cupcakes. He loves to pour the ingredients in the bowl & help using the electric mixer. I, of course, ate at least 3 cupkakes worth of batter. :o

Octoberprincess I know exactly how you are feeling. It is such a rollercoaster every freaking month. I can't stand the 2 week wait. The only solice I have is the 11-15 days waiting to O where I feel I can move on with life without having every second consumed by TTC. I was just telling a friend and my MIL that I feel like my life is on hold. I can't move to the next phase of planning till the babies are all birthed ;) . That sounds silly but it's so very true. Plus, we are at the very end of our new construction home, suppose to be moving in the end of this month, and I went there this AM and geeze, we are never going to be in by 9/30. We will be homeless! Everything has been in a state of freeze for us. Maybe this underlying stress is contributing to us not being able to conceive.

DS is a horrible eater, btw. I have no idea how he maintains this weight. When he was born (8lb 10oz) DH & I joked how 'ripped' his body was for a newborn. He was one solid infant. :p


Do we have any great news out there???

[OctoberPrincess]

I can't move to the next phase of planning till the babies are all birthed

As silly as it sounds, I feel exactly the same way!

Sounds like your DS was always big (for a little guy), our DS was 6lb 13oz and then at 6 months only 12lb 2oz, to our excitement he was 24lb 1oz in mid July so he is finally catching up. We are making cupcakes tomorrow, oddly enough I have been craving some and just told DH this morning that I plan to make some with DS. We have never made cupcakes together but he LOVES to help me cook dinner and whip up soothies.

[OctoberPrincess]

One of my closest friends (one of 2 that know I'm having a hard time ttc) has vanished, I have a feeling she may be pregnant as it is not like her not to contact me for over 3 weeks...especially since I called her 2'x and e-mailed her 1x with no response. I'm wondering if she's scared to break the news to me although I have always told her I am happy for my other friends who have acheived BFP. She told me she hasn't even decided if you wants to try yet because she only has one ovary and she had a bad pregnancy the list time (but a very healthy baby boy) but I don't expect her to tell me she's trying right away, I didn't tell her I was trying until about 3 ago, and I can see how she might feel bad telling me about her BFP. Maybe I'm just being paranoid but I just have this feeling..it's that or something else bad.

I have a 3pm appointment with the RE today, I will report back with the game plan.

[Bucktown]

OctoberPrincess~ Ugh. I know that situation all too well. I just watched my BF have her 2nd (our DS #1's are 5 weeks apart) and found out last month that my other girlfriend is trying for her 3rd now. When the later told me they were TTC#3 I blurted out, 'I'll cry if you are pg before me.' OMG, did I feel horrible that came out of my mouth! :o It was like there was no filter between my brain & mouth. It will have a great impact on me if she is PG before me but I really hope she does tell me and not avoid me for awhile. I'll get over it. I'm a big girl. ;) Hoping your RE appointment goes well & you have a great plan!

me~ cd2. Tomorrow I go in to have my c/d 3 baseline u/s. If all is good I start the clomid tomorrow PM. Prescription has already been filled. I think we're going with the everyother day BD plan since everyday has not worked in 8 months and DH has a slight issue with his boys.

[jjsanner]

My bf is also TTC. Her and I have gone through alot together....She's had 2 chemical pregnancies and a D&C at 10 weeks, I've had the two chemicals. We've been trying about the same amount of time. When she told me she was preggo (before her last chemical) I was devastated. Of course I was very outwardly supportive, but inside I was a mess. I was so mad at myself, too, because she deserves a baby after she has gone through. I just couldn't help thinking "why not me?" UUGGGH, this whole process SUCKS big time.

CD 12 today. I didn't go in for the bloodwork last Wed., I just couldn't spare the thought of getting pricked yet again. I've had enough blood drawn to last a lifetime. We are done with doctors for awhile. We'll try on our own and God willing hopefully get pregnant soon. But no more beta's and no more charting. I'll possibly temp for a day or two later in my cycle to confirm o, but after that I'm putting the thermometer away.

I asked DH the other day if he thought we would have another baby, and he said "I hope so". I guess you never know. We're coming to a point soon where we will need to make the decision that we are done. I can't take much more of the endless uncertaintly and waiting.

[OctoberPrincess]

Bucktown goodluck tomorrow!

jjsanner I can understand how you are tired of all this testing, how frustrating. Hopefully you will get a BFP the old fashioned way soon and it will be a sticky one. I know how hard it is to hear that your friend is pregnant since 90% of mine (one's with children that is) are or already have #2.

The good news is that my tests came back well. DH is a different story, basically that his sperm have an irregular shape and instead of 10 million guys having a chance each time we dtd, only 300,000 do. DH will have to have some bloodwork and test again in 3-5 weeks. In the meantime I am to go for a HSG on Wednesday, and we need to decide if we want to proceed with IUI this cycle which would mean I have to buy a clearplan easy kit and start using it by Wednesday or decide to get the injection that makes me release 2-4 eggs so that DH has more targets so to speak. DH and I will be having a big discussion tonight...I think as long as it's only a $20 co-pay we will start with IUI this month buy using the clearplan easy strips. My head is spinning right now...it's all a bit surreal for me....

[jjsanner]

OctoberPrincess, if you are considering IUI, I would recommend that you request ultrasound monitoring and an HSG trigger shot. That way you know for sure how many eggs you have and know pretty much exactly when you will ovulate. The window for successful with IUI is very tight, and if the timing is wrong you will have no chance. The OPK's work OK for me, but not so well for other women. Plus, even when you get a positive you still have a much larger window for ovulation.

Also, are you taking clomid? I ask because without it (or injectibles or femara) you will most likely only release one egg. Even when on the clomid, the most eggs I released was 3. Other clomid cycles had one or two eggs.

For morphology problems (which seems to be what you are dealing with) I would recommend doing clomid/monitoring/trigger/IUI. Just my 2 cents.

I've been there/done that for longer than I care to admit, so feel free to ask any questions.

Jen

[OctoberPrincess]

Thanks Jen, sounds like you can provide a wealth of knowledge that I do not have on this subject.

Is that HSG trigger shot the shot that you get to help you release 2-4 eggs? If you get that shot do they automatically monitor you or would I still have to request to be monitered? The doctor said he is not going to prescribe me Chlomid because I am ovulating fine and Chlomid doesn't usually work so well with women who are ovulating regulary. He did mention that if I didn't take the shot I would only have one egg to fertilize. I'm in the process of finding out what my insurance will cover, I called Fertility Lifelines as soon as I finished typing my last post.

BTW, I'm Melissa

[jjsanner]

Hi Melissa.

When you say a "shot that you get to help you release 2-4 eggs", I'm not quite sure what you mean. There is what are called "injectibles" (i.e. follistim, gonal F, etc.) which is a form of stimulant that will encourage the growth of more than one egg. This has a similar effect to clomid. However, it is not just "one" shot, but one shot a day over the course of a week or two, usually administered by yourself or your DH. Absent injectibles and/or clomid, you will only ovulate one egg.

Then there is the HCG trigger. It's a single shot in the tummy administered once your doc has determined that your follicles are large enough (usually when they reach 18mm+ or when you get a + OPK). This essentially mimics the LH surge and tricks the body into releasing the egg/s. Once you administer the shot, you will ovulate almost exactly 36 hours later. This is how they know when to do the IUI to give you the best odds of success.

Unfortunately there isn't one shot that will do both. Does that make sense?

[Bucktown]

October Princess ~ Wow, is your DH's results a shock to you? I'm thinking that it is based on your post. When my RE suggested testing DH w/ an S/A he was so sure that there was no problem with him since we have a 2 yr old. I think he was surprised when DH did show an issue. I'm going to ask our nurse exactly how 'small' of an issue we're dealing with. Truth be told, we DTD just once the entire month we conceived DS, so I believe we truly got lucky with God's grace. I agree with jjsanner on going with clomid/monitoring/trigger/IUI. You & your DH have been trying so long I would just cut the crap and go all out. I'm really sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I'm praying that you will be able to hurdle this obstacle and catch that egg/s!

jjsanner ~ This process does suck. It has been life consuming for me and seems to be draining every ounce of energy from my mind/body. I sometimes wonder if we had been TTC #1 and it's been taking all this time would I feel like giving up already? Probably not. I wonder why I feel like I have this timeclock ticking so loudly just because it's #2?


ETA: I'm a Jen, too.

[OctoberPrincess]

I'm going to have to ask the doctor about more specifics, he was giving me so much info so fast and my mind was just reeling. I will need to find out the type of shot he is discussing, he wrote OI - HIUI on the paper he gave me if that means anything to either of you. He also said the shot would increase my chances of twins 20%, and triplets 5%. Also need to know exactly how IUI works, I'm assuming DH will need to take off from work or go in late??? Plus I need to know if he planned on monitoring me since I would like that. I will have to write down a list of questions now that I have about a million.:rolleyes:

Jen Thanks for all the info again, it's really helpful to me as I feel so lost and overwhelmed all of a sudden.

Jen B.(Bucktown) thanks for your kinds word. I was very shocked, just like you I got the impression that DH was taking this test simply because it was routine and needed to be ruled out before we could continue with the important stuff.

You & your DH have been trying so long I would just cut the crap and go all out.

This is how I am feeling, I want to do whatever will give us the best chances of getting pregnant. It was heartbreaking to break the news to DH, he is taking it badly as he is now in a nasty mood.:( I know he is probably agry with himself right now so I will give him some space tonight.

I'm sure we would not be thinking about giving up so easily if this were #1, I think it's so hard because we have a child already and part of us may feel guilty that we are not grateful enough for what we already have...but we should be entitled to grieve that addition to that family that we crave, why should we have to settle??

[Bucktown]

Melissa ~ I don't know what the OI-HIUI is either. I see there is IUI in there but not sure what the other stuff means. :confused: I'm thinking 'the shot' is the trigger shot to get any mature eggs to release at once, though you said he wouldn't be giving you Clomid, so again I'm really confused for you! My BF had an IUI done with her 1st (exception- she was on clomid) & if I remember right it went something like this: CD3-7 she took Clomid. CD13 she had vaginal u/s to confirm follie maturation (she had 2 mature one's & one smaller one). She had 'the shot' & triggered that morning. *I think* the next day she went in for her first insem. Her DH went in in the AM, gave his deposit then the staff did the wash (to get the good sperm). I think this took about an hour or less? Then they did the insem right after. The latter process was repeated the next day. They conceived #1 that 1st try!

I remember telling my DH that his S/A revealed a problem too & was dreading it. He just looked at me astounded and said he was sorry. I felt so bad for him. :( I hope your DH can pull through this set back and look further to what can be done. And hey, 20% increase for twins seems pretty appealing to me since I'd only have to go through all this treatment once. I'd be thrilled to have a family of 3 kids!

...but we should be entitled to grieve that addition to that family that we crave, why should we have to settle??

We don't have to settle. I am very grateful for my son but I will not made to feel guilty for being sad/angry for not having a second or even a third child. That is why I started this thread. So we can express our feelings freely without needing to censor them at the risk of upsetting someone who is not in our particular situation. At first, I was feeling guilty. You can read it in my first post. Not anymore. I'm dealing with too many other emotions re:infertility to worry about rubbing someone the wrong way. kwim?

[OctoberPrincess]

I spoke with the nurse, since it's too late to start injectibles, this month the game plan is go to purchase some Clear Plan O.P. sticks and call when I get a +, they will make arrangments for DH and I to come in for IUI the next day. If no BFP from this cycle I will have to meet with a nurse for instructions on how to administer injectibles starting CD4 of my next cycle and they will be following up with monitoring and a trigger shot.

DH was much better this morning, he's ready to do whatever is needed to get a BFP. That being said we are both so happy that we were able to concieve DS with no problems.

Bucktown how is the Chlomid going? Did you speak to the nurse to find out exactly what the issue was in DH's S/A?

[Bucktown]

ooops. I forgot to update about me after my tangent. :o

cd 3 u/s. My ovaries are clear & ready to go but my endometrium lining was thick for cd3. So thick, in fact, that they made me do a PG test right there to confirm no pregnancy. I knew it would be negative, and it was. The nurse needed to check with the RE regarding my u/s before giving me the go ahead to start the clomid tonight. Thankfully, she called & said to start tonight! But then said to be sure to bring my shot on my cd13 u/s (all VM since I was at soccer with DS). So I called & left a message for her to check with the doc to see if I'm actually going to be doing the trigger or not. Still waiting....

And of course, I don't know how we're going to time BD-ing since my cd 13 is next Friday 9/29. If I do trigger then I'd O 36 hours after that. We'd BD that night then we are moving the next day and that night DH has a show. hmmmmmmm, guess we'll have to see how those follies are looking before I start to stress!

[Bucktown]

Octoberprincess~ cross-post! Oh, you're getting the good stuff! Injectibles!!! Good news that your DH is on board with the new plan. Poor guy probably needed a good nights rest! What cd are you? Sounds like you'll have a good opportunity this month w/ an IUI already scheduled. Fingers crossed for you!

I did ask the nurse re: DH S/A and all she said was, 'Do you want me to have the doc call you?'. eh. I'll let it go for now. He said he wouldn't recommend IUI/IVF so I'm assuming we *should* be able to get pg without it.

[jjsanner]

Hi ladies.

OctoberPrincess, that sounds like a great plan! Hopefully you'll get that BFP this cycle and not need the injectibles. I personally havn't done them, but my bf has and she says they are a piece of cake! And less side effects than clomid! I have done the trigger shot myself and it is really no big deal. And this is coming from a person who still has trouble dealing with needles!

Bucktown (jen), good luck with the clomid this cycle! Are they just doing the one u/s on day 13? Are you also doing OPK's? Hopefully you'll have a couple of mature follies on Friday! I'm sorry the timing is bad, but you'll get it figured out!

Do either of you know the SA results? Be sure also to ask if they were done on the strict Kruger scale. That will make a difference. The doctors are still not in absolute agreement over morphology issues. Some doc's don't think that low morph is that big of a deal. And, if counts are high, then morph doesn't play as big a role, either. Just to give you a success story, my bf's DH had an SA done and they had morph less than 1%, which is REALLY bad. The doctors told them their only hope would be IVF. Well, they ended up pregnant on their own the next month. So please don't get discouraged!

[OctoberPrincess]

jjsanner I'm not sure what his #'s were, I tried to get that info from the nurse this morning but she said the Dr. took the chart with him.:( I do remember he said on one scale that he had a 3 and they were looking for a 12. I also remember 2 things were bad out of 4 things he read to me but I can't remember what the other thing was, morphology stuck with me because he drew a picture of a abnormal sperm.:rolleyes: Thanks for the positive stories, hopefully I am one of them.:)

Bucktown I'm on CD 10 so I'm about one week ahead of you. Good luck with the Chlomid, my fingers are crossed that you have some nice mature follies on Friday! If you are moving you may have to christen the new house so it's a great excuse to leave DS with a family member and DTD in a room you might have never considered...make it fun..LOL.:p

A little boy is calling me from his crib....

[almostthere]

Hi guys sorry I have been MIA, as for a little update I had my HSG tonight and they found nothing which is the last test they can do. So I am officially and unexplained repeat pregnancy loss case. So we have to recover this cycle and get back to trying and hope one sticks.

[Bucktown]

jjsanner I'm not sure which test/standard they are going off of for DH's S/A. I'm waiting for a call tomorrow regarding the trigger shot so if the RE calls I'll ask him but if it's the nurse again I'm going to wait it out until my curiousity takes over! Thanks for the well wishes. I'm hoping this will do it for us. I know it's not so successful for lots of people but I'm thinking it will get me one step closer to getting PG. I think I have our BD plan ready for action! DH just said 'Tell me when'. :p It will be interesting, that's for sure! Oh and yes, only one u/s on cd13, unless they aren't mature enough by then. I have been O-ing on cd13 for the past few cycles but the nurse says the clomid will take over & expect a later O date. I will for sure be using OPK's (I do every month :)) Got my smiley face one's all heated up.

OctoberPrincess cd 10, huh? The action will begin shortly! I'm really excited for you!

almostthere Ugh. I'm sorry they aren't able to find the cause for your losses. I have heard that after an HSG your fertility increases. Maybe having a 'fresh' uterus (lack of a better visual) will help your bean stick. My RE says the next 3 months after the HSG is the best for conception. Keep us updated, ok?


1.5 hrs to go till I take my first dose of clomid. Now I'm getting nervous that I'm going to freak out. I'm already a very emotional chick w/ lots of mood swings. I told DH to hold on because the ride may get rough!:D

[OctoberPrincess]

Almostthere welcome back, I'm sorry to hear about your less than eye opening dx.

Bucktown our, poor DH's what we don't put then through!:D

I went out and puchased my OPK's today, I was told on test between 10am and 2pm so I'm just waiting to take my first test tomorrow.

[OctoberPrincess]

Took my HSG, all clear with that. OPK was neg. today, I was expecting that on CD11.

Bucktown how are you feeling today?

[Bucktown]

OctoberPrincess Good news on the HSG! You need no other obstacles!!!

Me ~ cd4. Took my first dose of Clomid last night. Within 25 minutes of taking it I was light headed. Maybe I produced the side effect in my head since I'm struggling with finding a new new home for my cat (my adopter backed out 2 days ago) plus a move next week that we haven't even started packing for, in addition to triggering next Friday. Yep, I will be doing a trigger shot next Friday! I'm kind of pysched about this. I was thinking more about my O dates. I have been using OPK's for about 5 months now & every time I get my positive I don't O for 2 or once even 3 days past that positive OPK (charting confirms it). Maybe I'm not having a strong O which is causing problems on top of DH's problem. Whoops, back to how I'm feeling. So today, I woke with a headache (could be stress related) but I'm just in this haze. Like I really need to concentrate to understand what is happening today. Very bizzarre.

My most happiest moment in a long while was DS at skating today. I did a 'drop in' class for 3-5 yr olds that has an instructor on the ice but it's not a structured class. Half way thru the session he has pushing away his 'training bar', and skating ON HIS OWN to back to the bar. OMG I was thrilled to see this happening. The last 10 minutes he was weaving thru cones placed on the ice---with the bar only. What a day! Plus, I think I have a new adopter for my cat. Now all I need is to see those 2 pink lines on a test!

[kerrykate]

Hi ladies! I had my CD21 bloodwork done today to test my progesterone and the doctor said he is going to throw in a beta for the heck of it:rolleyes: Isn't it way to early for a beta? I'm only 6dpo, I guess anythings possible...

Bucktown~ Sounds like your DS is a natural on the ice! Hopefully the clomid/trigger will work for you!

almostthere~ Sorry about the unexplained diagnoses. That's so frustrating.

OctoberPrincess~ Good luck with the IUI sounds like you guys have a good plan this cycle.

[Bucktown]

kerrykate ~ GL on the betas! That would be a super surprise, huh?

me~ 3rd night of taking clomid. My ovaries are already hurting like they do a few days before I O and it's only cd5. Wonder what's going on in there? I wonder if it's going to get worse before cd13. Sheesh, I wonder if there are now cysts? Crap. My cat went to her new home tonight. I can't stop crying. :( Just had to throw that in there.

[OctoberPrincess]

Bucktown wow, it does sound like your DS's a natural on the ice, amazing! I'm so sorry to hear about your cat, why did you have to give her up? Sounds like you were careful with the adoptive process and I'm sure she is doing fine but I can imagine how hard it must be for you, pets are members of my family as well.

Wonder why you are feeling O pains so early? Only 2 more days right? What does did they start you out with? Other than the O pains were there any other side effects? Anymore headaches?

Kerrykate I hope all goes well with your test.

I'm on CD13 with and still no + OPK, hopefully that will change tomorrow.

[Bucktown]

OctoberPrincess~ I have severe allergies & asthma to cat dander. I avoided the whole 'giving her up' thing for 8 years out of extreme guilt and just suffered with the allergy & asthma attacks while drugging myself to ease them. Anyway, we are moving into a new construction home Saturday so there will be no pet dander there. I just couldn't deal with the constant sneezing anymore. I want to get off the steriods (for the asthma) and off the allergy pills too. Surprising to me, DS took it very hard. When she was in the crate and we were saying our final farewells, he kept crying & grabbing the carrier saying 'my kitty, my kitty'. :( It was horrible to watch. The thing is, he never really paid much attention to her other than to chase her through the house till she hid. :rolleyes: Today, he just kept repeating 'Where's Kayla, Where's Kayla'. My son isn't even a really good talker yet. It's just sad.

Fingers crossed you get that ++OPK tomorrow! Then on to the 2WW for you, missy! I will be cheering you (and your DH!) on!

Me~ I don't know why I'm having O pains already. I have been an early O-er since post-DS. Usually get my ++OPK on cd11. EWCM starts on cd9 for me. The nurse said the clomid was suppose to take over & I'd O later with the trigger shot. Today I've caught my first glimps of EWCM though :eek: cd6! I was started on 100mg which surprised me. O pains still there. Both sides. No headache or lightheadedness. I have been wicked moody today, though but I think it's extenuating circumstances of what is happening in our life right now.

[OctoberPrincess]

Just a quick update since it's late and I'm having some pretty bad O pains. I got a + OPK today so we are set for IUI 10 am tomorrow!

[Bucktown]

OctoberPrincess~ How'd it go???? Are you having a 2nd IUI tomorrow? Got my fingers crossed for you!

[kerrykate]

OctoberPrincess~ Congrats on the +OPK, good luck tomorrow:)

Bucktown~ Sorry you had to give up your kitty, but it's totally understandable. You were a champ for putting up with the allergies for so long.

Well, the nurse said my progesterone looked good at 18 but of course the pg test was BFN. I'm totally confused now because I asked if it was still too early for the pg test, and she said it's too early for a urine test to come out positive but not a blood. I think it's BS b/c they did the test at 6DPO and from what I've read the egg doesn't even implant until 6-12 DPO... Oh well, I'm supposed to start on Wednesday so we'll see...

[Bucktown]

KerryKate~ I agree with you. That is BS re: the b/w. 6dpo? Please. I still can't believe your doc even ordered one! On the other hand, if you're due on Wed. a urine test would possibly pick it up now. Have you POAS yet?

[OctoberPrincess]

Bucktown so sad about your cat but with the allergies it is totally understandable. Do you plan to call the new home in a few weeks to see how things are going? The moodiness is also understandable, hopefully it will subside soon. Maybe you should call the RE and mention that you have EWCM already, even though you don't usually get it till around CD9.:confused:

Kerrykate I also can't understand why the nurse told you that you would get a + at 6DPO, I think that's way too early even for blood to confirm since I believe it could take upwards of 12 days for the egg to implant.

Well the IUI went well, the RE said my uterus was tilted back so it took 2 attemps to get the cath. in (the first one bent) but otherwise it went well. I did ask what was the other problem my DH had with him swimmers and he said it was motility though I would like to get actual #'s. I only laid on my back for 5 minutes after the insemination and then he advised DH and I to "fool around tonight"; he will not be doing a repeat tomorrow. I didn't even know it was an option. I ask him what my chances of obtaining a BFP were and he said 6-11%, that's so little, it really hit me hard because I could swear that he said that if we did it naturally we would have about a 10% of concieving...maybe I am mistaken...but if I'm not then what is the point of the IUI, the chances are just as good or better if we did it naturally.:confused: Anyway, I am to set up an appointment with the Dr. next week to discuss (in detail) the shots, then I will make another appointment for the nurse to teach me how to administer them. If no BFP this cycle I will begin taking them on CD4 of my next cycle but we will be hoping that these next few appointment turn out to be a waste of time.;)

[OctoberPrincess]

Boy this thread has been so quite, hope everyone is doing well. I'm just waiting...

[almostthere]

I am here in the dreded two week wait, we BD only 1x after the HSG prior to O so I do not know if I am even if this game but I am 6DPO.

Is anyone doing anything besides fertility drugs? I have been doing accupuncture for about 6 weeks, I can't decide if it is doing anything but so far I think it is nice to take an hour or so for myself every week.

[Bucktown]

I'm here too! I'm in the boring part of waiting to O. 2 days till I go in for my cd13 u/s, then trigger. Even though it's boring, I'm glad for the mind/emotional break. My ovaries are really sore but they usually are before I O. Clomid has definitely changed my CM. I'm usually swimming in EWCM for at least 5 days before O. This cycle I got a gob :o on cd7 and since then it's been pretty watery. Going to try to get alittle BD-ing in tonight and then we'll do Fri & Sunday. Everyother day for us this cycle.

I've been packing my little heart out this week for our Saturday move. DS is being really cooperative while I'm trying to work. Very un-like him! :rolleyes: We've got a slight problem though. Our house is not finished. They are still doing some interior things and we have NO electric. We have to be out of this (rental) apartment on Sat. because the new renters will be moving in on Sun. Looks like our stuff will be moved into the new place & we'll be heading for an extended stay hotel. Trying really hard not to stress too much. I want to O on Sat/Sun!!!

[jjsanner]

Hi ladies. Sorry I've been MIA. DH and I got away Sun. night for a mini-vacation to Sedona. We dropped DS off with my dad and then took the long, scenic route up. The hotel, food and spa were great! I was back at work yesterday trying to get ready for quarter-end close (I'm a CPA).

After my last failed clomid/IUI cycle, we decided to take a break from TTC. Then last month I got that completely unexpected BFP (only to lose it a few days later) after a crazy month here at work where I was so busy that I didn't have time to think about IF. So again this cycle, I've been trying very hard not think about any of it. However, I know my body too well, and I just knew I was ovulating last night and of course DH was at work until LATE, and all I could think about was how we were going to miss this cycle. I broke down in bed crying.

It's all so hard. I feel very deeply that our family isn't complete, yet we can't seem to get and stay pregnant so I'm thinking that God has other plans for us. The question is, how do I accept God's will and come to terms with the fact that we may not (dare I say probably won't) have another child? Anyone have any words of wisdom?

[OctoberPrincess]

jjsanner I'm so sorry about your m/c and that you had such a rough night {{{hugs}}} my heart goes out to you. I really don't have any words of wisdom, I wish I did......:(

almostthere keep us posted on how the accupuncture goes, I was thinking about it before I knew that the fertility issues were most likely DH's but I do not have an accupuncturist who specializes in fertility close to me. I heard that it's important to use someone who has experience with fertility because they can really mess with your cycle.

Bucktown wow, you sounds really busy. I'm crossing your fingers that your house is completed quickly! Good luck with the u/s, keep us posted!

I'm 3DPO, and going crazy waiting! Trying to remind myself that there is only a 6-11% chance I am pregnant so that I don't get to hopeful but it's hard because of course you want to believe you are that 6%.:rolleyes:

[almostthere]

OctoberPrincess It is important, i am using someone well known for fertility so I am paying out of pocket and it is costing alot but we decided that at this point no one else has any recomendations for us in terms of "drugs" to help so we needed to feel as if we are doing something. Since my issue is not one of a cycle problem but unexplained its hard to tell if she is doing anything. Her goal is to "warm" the area up and increase blood flow to produce healthier eggs etc. I am going to give it a few more cycles at this point.

[Bucktown]

jjsanner~ I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. I don't have any "words of wisdom" but can say that I feel the same about feeling very strongly that our family is not complete yet. Since you mentioned God in your post I can get alittle religious with my response. It took me up until this month to accept that God has a plan for me & my family. I truly believe it involves another child in our lives but it will be with His timing. I feel more relaxed now. Now when I pray, I don't ask for a baby, I ask for patience while waiting for our baby to be conceived.

OctoberPrincess~ Are you at 5DPO now? The waiting must be hard! I should be in the 2WW this weekend. I'm very excited! Keep your thoughts positive. 6-11% is way better than a 0% chance, right?

almostthere~ Hi!

Me~ Had my cd13 u/s this morning. Only 1 mature follicle. I couldn't believe it. I thought for sure there were at least 2. I get 1 mature follie w/out clomid. I am disapointed but have to remind myself that multiples were not the goal, just to get PG. So maybe the clomid produced me a better follie than w/out. I triggered at 7:45 AM & was told to BD tomorrow night but since that's not possible (DH has another freakin' show) she said tomonight & as early as possible on Sunday AM. Anyone know how soon after the trigger to expect O? I have EWCM today a plenty so I'm thinking it'll be today or tomorrow. :D

And finally, tomorrow is our move and our new house has electric so we'll be moving into it tomorrow and not the hotel! Soooo, happy about that! But sometime today our internet will be disconnected (it think that's today) and I won't have access for awhile. :( I hope it doesn't last long.

[almostthere]

So on Friday at my accupuncture session she said my pulse felt very full and she usually sees that in clients that are pregnant, so even though I was only 10 DPO this am I took a test - with the answer brand I swore I saw something but my DH said no so - and I am only admitting the to you ladies - we drove the store (with DD in tow) and my pee from that am in a sealed cup and got an EPT which came back with a clear BFP.

So now I do not know what to think, we have been pregnant 3 x in the last 10 montsh - 2 blighted ovums and a chem one just last cycle. We literal only BD 1 x on the night after my dye test and then I had a temp rise 36 hrs later. So I am scared becase who knows and my RE said to avoid this month but my FIL who is an ob-gyn said not tow orry just avoid until the test because nothing radioactive stays in you - so I assume he would never really put us in danger - he deals with this all the time and I did not ovulate until 2-3 days after the test.

The RE office is closed today and tomorrow is Yom Kippur so I cannot go in until Tuesday morning for bloodwork (of course they will still think I am crazy since my period is not due until Thursday). I still have prog supplements from last time so I think I will start on them tonight.

Thats my news of the day, I am trying to be positive as a positive attitude I think helps instead of dwelling on the bad.

[OctoberPrincess]

Almostthere I'm so happy, I hope this is it for you! Big fat ~~~~~sticky vibes~~~~ are coming your way! Hopefully this is the first of some much needed good news around here!:) Please keep us posted as soon as you know something more!

Bucktown I'm at 7 DPO today, 1 more week to go and the wait is killing me....are you in the 2ww with me now? What's going on??!! Hope the move went well! BTW, my doctor told me that I would not be likely to produce more than one follie with chlomid and since I was already doing that on my own he didn't recomment it so I'm not sure if Chlomid is really supposed to produce multiple follies.:confused:

[almostthere]

I have good news my first bw came back and at 12 DPO I am at

HCG 101
Prog 33.2 (am taking supplements but still good)

These are the highest my starting numbers have ever been. My last blighted ovum at 11DPO my HCG was only 23 and at the chem one at 10DPO I was at 11.

So while I know each pregnancy is different bith myself and the nurses think these numbers are great a great start I go back again Thursday so well see.

[OctoberPrincess]

Just a fly by post to tell Almostthere that is such great news! Will be back later to update you on my appointment yesterday.

[OctoberPrincess]

Went to discuss all aspects of using the shots for next cycle and RE said because we were a young couple he would prefer to try opk with IUI with at least one more month before moving on to the shot. He said there is a very real risk of twins (1 in 5) and even triplets when using Gonadotropins and he would sleep better at night knowing he tried at least 2, if not 3 cycles without the use of them.:rolleyes:

I also got DH's testosterone test results and they were low, looking for the # to be a min. of 50 and DH's were 34 but because testosterone levels rise and fall the RE said they could have just taken DH's blood during a low time. DH now has to take a 1 hours test, where he will be stuck 3 times to get the mean of all three points during his cycle this will indicate if the first test was right or not, he is very cranky about this.:(

DH's 2nd S/A will be in 2 weeks, RE said there is a 90-95% chance there will still be a problem with his motility and morphology but that most of the time the results are slightly better....right now DH's results are borderline severe and the next results may put him in the moderate category. Either way he will be referred to a RU very shortly but the RE wan't to get the testosterone and S/A back before doing so.

That's all of it in a nutshell, so now I hope and pray to get a BFP next Monday. The only drawback is that DH seems as though once we get a BFP all of our problems will be solved and does not wish to discuss the fact that even if we did get a BFP he still needs to see the Reproductive Urologist so that, hopefully, things will go easier when we decided to have our 3rd (and last) child.

[scout]

Can I join? I did fertility treatments to conceive ds, and I'm currently on my third round of Clomid to TTC #2. Everyone told me that once you get pregnant, your body does what it's supposed to do. Apparently, my body has a learning disability.

[kerrykate]

Almostthere~ Huge Congrats to you:D ~And lots of sticky vibes~

Scout~ Welcome! Hope your stay here is short.

Not too much going on here, I'm on boring CD 7 waiting to O. The big 30 for me is tomorrow and I really wanted to be pg by my b-day but that obviously didn't happen. I'm really hoping this is our month. My brother and SIL had their baby over the weekend. It was easier than I thought it would be seeing the new baby. It did hurt a little since if I hadn't miscarried I'd be due in a couple weeks... He's such a cutie and it makes me want one that much more.

Take care everyone.

[jjsanner]

Sorry I've been MIA, I've really been trying to take a step back from this whole TTC business. It was making me a crazy lady!

A big huge CONGRATS to AlmostThere!

This is the first cycle after my most recent miscarriage and I have no idea when I ovulated. I'm confident I am past ovulation right now, but how far is a mystery. Take a look at my chart....it's in my signature. It looks like my body geared up to o a few times and never actually suceeded. I wasn't being diligent about temping or check CM, so who knows. I guess if AF hasn't made an appearance by next weekend then I'll go ahead and test.

[almostthere]

Well my #'s doubled to 200 and my prog is fine so know it seems like a waiting game to make sure not only things continue to rise and that something actuallly grows. I do not go back for a week for another BW.

jjsanner Good luck this cycle, they say you are very fertile coming of a chem preg, it looks like you ovulated on CD 20.

kerrykate I hope this is your cycle, I know when my first due date came and went it was really really hard on me, like wow a whole nine months had passed.

scout i hope this group gives you support however your stay is short

[OctoberPrincess]

Scout welcome to the group, I'm sorry that you have to deal with the frustrations of IF again.:(

KerryKate happy 30th!!:) I'm keeping my fingers crossed that you get a spectacular little gift this month!;) BTW, your birthday is the same day as my wedding anniversary!

jjsanner I can totally understand your need for a break from all this, I've been so anxious the past few days that i don't know what to do with myself...the 2WW is the worst.:(

Well, I think my 2WW is over...wierd because I'm only 12 dpo today, I started spotting and have had mild cramping all afternoon/evening.:(

[scout]

Kerry Happy Birthday! I hope you get a fabulous present soon! ;)

October I'm sorry to hear about the spotting. :( It just sucks.

almostthere I hope those numbers keep going up!!!

jjsanner It does look like you od around day 20--your chart looks great!

Thanks for the welcome, everyone! I'm in the 2 week wait. If this round of Clomid fails, I'm going to take a break from fertility meds--it's too hard to be a teacher and make it to the fertility clinic in the morning.

[Bucktown]

OMG, I just had a long post ready & the stupid PC shut down! I'm at the CP Library because we have no phone or internet right now. No access till 10/12 so this will be it till then.

almostthereCongrats to you! What wonderful news to hear after being away for a week. Stick baby stick!

kerrykate Happy Birthday! 30 isn't so bad. ;)

scout Welcome! When will you be testing?

OctoberPrincess. Shoot. Sorry to hear AF seems to be coming. Has anything changed since your last post?

jjsanner I hear ya on TTC pyschosis. I'm thinking of breaking myself if this cycle is a bust.

Me: I'm 8DP trigger. I'm pretty sure I o'd on Saturday or super early on Sunday. Like 2AM. I have no desire to test since I know that freaking trigger might still be in my system. I was told I could test on Friday this coming week. I'm not temping because it's just not possible right now, and I like it. I've been a SUPER *itch this entire cycle & contribute it directly to the Clomid. It feels like PMS x100 everyday. Only thing worth noting that is different this cycle is that I have no sore BB's. I *always* get sore bb's 3-5 days past O and now nada. Very bizzarre.

[Bucktown]

Forgot to say bye till next Thursday! GL to our testers this week!

[OctoberPrincess]

Well the witch is here full force so I'm officially out.:mad: My LP seems short...it's normally 14 days and was once 13 days but this time it was only 12, is that still considered normal?:confused:

[Bucktown]

Where the heck is everyone?

Sorry OctoberPrincess, I'm not sure about LP's but I would ask your RE about it. But, seeing that it's already 7 days past this post you probably already have and have started stims??? Good luck this cycle!

Me~ I tested on Thursday and no surprise got a BFN. It was 1 day early but had I o'd on Sat/Sun that would have been 11DPO I think. Oh well. My only thought is that I o'd late because of the stress of the move and such. I had EWCM on the following Tuesday PM which was cd 17 and my bb's didn't start getting sore till Wed night Thursday AM which would be the normal time after O that would happen. If I did O late then Thursday would have been way too early to test.

Yesterday, I found out my GF is pg w/ #3--9 weeks along. I knew there was a reason she hadn't called me in awhile. She was the one where I blurted out 'If you get pg before me I'll cry :o '. I sure did cry. All afternoon & evening.

At this moment we will not be TTC this coming cycle. I just don't like my DH right now. I spent the morning locked in the bathroom crying because he is such an a-hole. This move sucks. The workers are still not out of the house, we don't have a f-ing phone line yet & I have no internet still. I wish I had somewhere to go and hide for awhile but I have no family here and friends just wouldn't understand.

Not sure when my next post will be. Sometime next week I hope? If not, I'll be back here at the library on Saturday. Bye everyone!

[kerrykate]

Thanks for the b-day wishes everyone!

Bucktown~ I'm sorry you're having such a hard time right now. My best friend is also TTC her 2nd baby and is a fertile myrtle, I was shocked when she told me she got a BFN and told her how sorry I was, but actually I was so relived inside b/c it would have torn me up. It makes me feel so selfish that I feel that way, but when the heck is it going to be my turn??? Big hugs to you and I'm sorry your dh is being an a-hole right now, sounds like you're going through a lot with moving and all.

Sorry I haven't posted lately. I didn't even test last cycle because I starting spotting so f'ing early I knew there was no need to. This month I think we screwed up our timing things have been crazy this month with my b-day and DD's 3rd b-day last week, then my grandma passed away and I leave for New Mexico tomorrow morning for her the services. So I don't have my hopes high for this month although we did use preseed so we'll see if by some miracle that made a difference.

[scout]

Looks like we've all had some bad luck. :( Af arrived in full glory today, so since this is my third Clomid cycle, it's on to injectibles next. I can't juggle a toddler, a full time teaching job, and constant visits to the RE, so I'm taking a break.

Kerry sorry to hear about the loss of your grandmother. :(

Bucktown Yesterday, I found out my GF is pg w/ #3--9 weeks along It's so hard. I just hope you'll be next.

My LP seems short...it's normally 14 days and was once 13 days but this time it was only 12, is that still considered normal Yes. 12 days is still considered good. I have a really short LP (six days unmedicated) and Clomid lengthens it to 12 days.

[firefly]

I have a question. I'm currently ttc #3 . It's only been 2 mo which I know is NOTHING in the ttc world. however I haven't o'd (based on my poas o predictor kit) this cycle and I'm pretty sure I didn't O last cycle. How many cycles would you go without o'ing before you called our ob?

background

1st pgcy was m/c at 6 1/2 weeks
2nd pgcy to term
3-5 pgcy m/c all before 7 weeks
pgcy 6 dd#2 was a preemie but healthy and strong and I had to have a hsg the month before we concieved.

oh and all the women in family have had complete hystectomy's before they were 35. I have no idea about my mothers side as my grandmother died early and my mother has never been in my life.

I've also had 2 c-section type surgeries (one was a c-section one was an emergency surgery to repair my ruptured uterus.. (long story) ) so I have lots of scars on my uterus.

[jjsanner]

Hi Firefly. How long since your DD#2 was born? It may take months for your cycle to regulate, and even longer if your still breast feeding. That being said, given the surgeries and your history of MC, I would go to an RE right away. They will do all the appropraite testing to diagnose the problem, if one even exists.

As for me, AF has finally left the buiding. CD 6 of another unmedicated cycle. DH is in Florida for a conference until Friday so I am on DS duty for the next couple of days. It's so difficult when he is not here to juggle work and dropping and picking up DS from daycare. We live about an hour from work so I get in late and then have to leave early....Luckily my job is pretty flexible. Anyway, here's hoping that we get some good news in here very soon!

[firefly]

dd#2 is 21 mo old (almost) I bf for 8 mo so that should be out of my system now. :o

[kerrykate]

I'm pg again, I got 2 light BFP's on Friday, a darker BFP on Saturday, and a DARK BFP on Sunday. I had my first beta and progesterone test today and will get a repeat on Wed. We're hoping and praying that this one sticks!

[firefly]

congratulations, praying that this one sticks too. :D

[Bucktown]

We have internet again! YAY!

Congratulations KerryKate! What great news! So much for poor timing, huh? Couldn't have been more perfect!

Scout Sorry for your AF visit as well. I hear ya on the constant RE visits. Dragging DS & DH to the RE office at 6:30am to get in line for 'open call u/s's' just blows. Fingers crossed for you that your body will do it's thing unmedicated.

Firefly Not sure what to tell ya but it couldn't hurt to at the least call your OB and ask. Wish I had more to offer up.

jjsanner Hope your few days alone w/ DS went smoothly for you.

Me Well, no BFP for me either. I was a day late, 29 vs 28, and I know I wasn't pg since all my tests were neg, so I guess the trigger shot did not induce O after 36 hours. Hoping it was stress that caused the delay. I did decide to do clomid this cycle. Finished my last pill/s Sunday night. I go in on Saturday AM for an u/s then trigger at the office. Things are getting better here. We are almost completely finished with construction so there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I don't even want to go back & read what I posted last week. I'd probably be embarrassed!

[Bucktown]

Anyone still following?

Guess I'll update. Today I had my cd13 u/s for a follie check. Guess I responded quite well to the clomid this cycle as I have 3 mature follies each over 20mm. :eek: I triggered this morning at 8:30am. I have some mixed emotions though with this news. Excited because DH may have 3 targets to hit and worried because DH has 3 targets to hit. I don't know how I'd handle 3 newborns & a 3 yr old plus I pray that my body can handle a higher order pregnancy/delivery based on my past delivery. I'm taking comfort in knowing that even if 3 are released there's no guarentee that all (or any!) will be fertilized.

Wish us luck! BD-ing starts tonight, tomorrow and Monday night. Testing on 11/11.

[Steve's Sweety]

Ladies, I don't really belong here and I hope you're not offended when I say I hope I don't have to join you, but I have some questions.

We were lucky enough to have 1 DS after trying for 5 months (I have a short LP and did take progesterone supps the month before getting PG with him and then started them again after I found out I was PG) and also to get PG again on our first try this time around (and I did not take any progesterone at all this time) but I unfortunately recently found out that I am having a missed miscarriage and I am going insane with grief. I was 11W 1D when I found out and they said the baby had died around 8W 4D. As far as I can tell, my body still has not passed anything (except for a few clots).
But I am already looking to TTC again ASAP even though the thought of it and even just sex freaks me out right now, I think that is the only thing that will help me but I am going to be a mess until then and probably until I have another baby in my arms.

What I have come here for is to ask you ladies if you had any indicators that I can look for that kind of "foretold" that you would have a hard time with #2?
I am so scared that I am going to wind up in this category because if my body was able to get PG fairly easily and carry out a healthy pregnancy with DS, then why this?

I hope you don't mind me coming in, but if you feel it's too intrusive or something just lmk and I will post elsewhere or something.

[Bucktown]

Steve's Sweety~ I'm so very very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain you & your husband are going through.

For me, DS #1 was conceived on cycle 2 of very regular cycles. He was a snap. There was no reason to believe that we'd have trouble making the next. In fact, initially we were going to wait till May '06 to start but I thought to myself 'What if we have trouble with #2?' and started in Feb '06. My DH even laughed and said 'Do you really think we're going to have a problem?' Oh how cocky we were to temp fate like that. Here we are, 10 months later, on cycle 2 of Clomid, and as of today, no baby. I didn't need Clomid for my first either. I really don't think there are any telltale signs to know if you're going to have problems. I wish there were.


Me:Since I'm here I may as well update. I'm 8DPO today and yesterday & today have had lots of cramping and lower backaches. But, I've had this before during the 2WW and no baby so I'm trying not to think about it. I do know that if it doesn't happen this month, of all months, I'm afraid of how I'll respond to a BFN. I mean, if we can't even get 1 of the 3 eggs I had then it's just not going to happen. I've started looking at culinary schools and have committed DH to buying me a treadmill next weekend if it is a BFN. I'll need an outlet. I'm going to try not to test till Saturday but that will be easier said than done.

[jjsanner]

Steves Sweety, I too am so very sorry for your loss. My BF also had a missed MC at around 11 weeks so although I don't know exactly what you're going through I do have an idea of the pain and grief you are experiencing. And I too have had two MC's of my own, although both very early on at around 4 weeks. No one should have to endure the suffering of a miscarriage and I am saying tons of prayers for you and your family.

DS, who is now 2 1/2, was conceived on our first try. I was in shock. I always thought we would have a difficult time because I had very irregular cycles as a teen, so the doc put me on the pill at 15. I stayed on it until one month before our wedding (over 13 years!). We knew we would start trying right away, so I wanted to give my body some time to adjust. And then BAM! Pregnant two weeks after returning from our honeymoon. This time around, I wanted our kids to be approx. two years apart. We were SWH for 6 months and then began actively TTC in May 2005, thinking it would happen very quickly again. By Oct., still no sign of a BFP, so my RE put me on clomid. Since then it's been neverending tests, doctors visits, shots and here we are, 17 cycles later, "undiagnosed infertility" with two miscarriages and no baby.

So to answer your question, yeah, I always **thought** we would have problems. After #1 I guess I hoped that we had escaped infertility, but now, all this time later, instead I think that DS was my little miracle and that we were always destined to have TTC issues.

Unfortunately, the stats are that something like 15%-20% of recognized pregnancies end in MC. And many women suffer MC after a healthy live birth. I think most of the women that have joined this thread have had a MC, if not two or three. I will pray that you find some peace to get through this horrible ordeal and conceive again very quickly.

As for me, 6DPO and trying to stay optimistic. It's busy here at work so I am keeping my mind off of the two week wait. I have an RE appointment next Tuesday to discuss next steps and immunological testing for repeat pregnancy loss. I never went back for my 2nd beta draw after the last MC because I had already started spotting and, quite frankly, was not in a good place and could not bring myself to get pricked and prodded again. So when I called last Friday to set this appointment up the nurse was very stern and told me I had to go straight to the lab for a beta to assure that my levels had gone back down to zero. So today like the good little patient I trodded over to the lab and got blood drawn again :rolleyes: . Should find out the results tomorrow.

[Bucktown]

Another BFN for me.

[jjsanner]

Bucktown, I am so sorry :( .

As suspected, beta was zero. I am 10 DPO today. Bad backache, but that is not uncommon before AF. No other symptoms, really. I will be testing Sunday if no spotting by then.

[Bucktown]

Thanks jjsanner. I hope your beta was just done too early. Sending positive thoughts to you.

Well, I'm done filling my body with hormones to get PG. I've decided not to take the clomid anymore. This past cycle was my 'sign' that it will probably never happen. I mean, 3 eggs and not even one can get fertilized? We'll continue to DTD when I think I'm fertile but I'm finished with temping, OPK's & drugs. No more.

I'm off to start researching treadmills and to get serious about MY body again. I'm thinking it'll help me feel better about myself.

[HGMorgann]

I belong in here....but in avoidance....

I'm sorry Bucktown. I know this has been a long journey for you.


Me: TTC #2 for about a year now. It took 18 mo. to concieve DD - low progesterone. I used herbs to concieve her, but they didn't seem to make a difference this time around.

[jjsanner]

Started spotting Friday night, full blown AF yesterday. Have an RE appointment on Tuesday.

Bucktown, I felt the exact same way after my last IUI cycle. Now, another miscarriage and two BFN's later, I'm back on the treatment bandwagon. More than anything I am feeling very frustrated with my body. Why can't it function properly? I want some answers from her, this "unexplained" nonsense is for the birds.

Welcome HGMorgann. Sorry to see you here, but it's always good to meet others in the same boats as us.

[Bucktown]

Hi girls.

HGMorgan I was wondering about you last week thinking maybe you had become pg and didn't want to say anything. I think there are other members (and non-members) of this thread in avoidance too. It's pretty quiet here most of the time. Sometimes I feel kind of wierd posting. Like I should make a journal instead. :o What types of herbs are you using? I've heard of fertility blend. Is it similar?

jjsanner Man, I was really hoping your beta was done too early. I'm sorry it didn't happen this month.

My BF & her son and 3 month old daughter came over for a visit today. OMG, she was just as precious as could be. Those chubby little baby thighs and watching her try to coordinate her arm movement to grab a toy was so sweet. I thought for sure I'd start bawling but amazingly I didn't. I usually have feelings of sadness and despair that it isn't MY baby, but today was different. Today I felt 'normal'.

She struggled with IF with her first. It took them 3 years plus IUI to get their son. Their little girl was conceived on the first try. I guess you really just never know. Anywho, she had told me to put the IF treatment on back table for now and not make any final decisions. I suppose that's a reasonable request. I want to enjoy my holidays without the black cloud of IF hovering above me. If 'seeing what happens' doesn't happen by February, then we'll revisit the treatment options again. Geeze, I'll be 36 by then and DH will be *just about* 40! :eek:

And I might as well add that AF has not shown up yet. But, today is cd28 so she should be here tomorrow. The last test I took was at 11DPO. Of course, you know I have a glimmer of hope that I just tested too early. It's just a neverending battle of my demons.

[HGMorgann]

Hi Bucktown. Hmm its been a while since you posted. I hope you have good news.....

We just needed a break. I understand what you wrote earlier about wanting to get your body back and quit obsessing about everything. Its tough.
I tried Vitex for 6 months again, this time I didn't see a difference and to be honest, my DH was concerned it was causing excessive shedding. So he asked me to cut down, which seemed to help, and then I quit and my hair isn't falling out like crazy! But yeh, Vitex is in fertility blend. Last time, it worked GREAT for me. This time, I didn't see a difference. Are you on LJ? I know that me and another great "tough second" mom here both LJ some about it. Really, I have thought very little about #2 lately. I really desire #2, but thankfully life is so busy that I don't have time to think about it. I DO need to go to a doctor and start the process soon. We most likely will be paying for our own healthcare come June (YIKES!), so if I want to have our company cover it, I should start and get my ostrich-head out of the ground. I'm still a bit traumatized from my c-section, horrible labor care, and 6 week pp visit that I sooo need a loving OB/midwife, so that's also something I need to just quit worrying about.

[Bucktown]

HGMorgan~ Nope. No good news here. I haven't even contacted the RE and didn't go in for the cd 3 u/s to start clomid. I'm officially 'not trying' anymore. My DH & I looked at treadmills this weekend and found a great commercial-grade treadmill for $700 bucks (at Costco!) so I'm very excited about that. We haven't bought it yet only because my parents are coming into town on T-day and staying for a week & we don't want the guest room all cluttered for their visit. I also had an appointment with a culinary school downtown on Saturday. I *think* I'll be starting in the spring if I can accept the HUGE price tag. My DH is all for it, I'm more cautious about the $$$ issue.

So if those two things don't say 'I'm moving on' then I don't know what else to do!!I will admit though that I have bought Pre-Seed and secretly hoping for it too arrive in the next couple days. Maybe I still have one foot kind of holding the door open. :o

No LJ for me. Maybe I should figure out how it works....

[Steve's Sweety]

Thank you ladies for your support and answering my question.

I am sorry that you all are going through this, I know it must be so hard.

-----------

I finally actually miscarried on Saturday, using Cytotec to help the process along since my body didn't seem to want to do it on its own (like I blame it).

jjsanner -
You know, I am starting to feel the same way about DS, because while it did take us 5 months to conceive him, I got PG for him the month I wasn't using progesterone supps.
This time I got PG on the first try and thought, boy we didn't have the issues I thought we had, we are so lucky. HA!
Now I'm just paranoid that something in my body changed (or like you said it was just a miracle) and I can't carry another baby to term.


Well ladies, I just wanted to update and I really hope to not be back here in a few months so I will bid you all a fond farewell and lots of good thoughts for that sticky BFP very soon.
Best of luck to you all.

[HGMorgann]

AF started today and normally I am fine with it but this month, I'm not so fine with it. We have new insurance in jan, so I should book an appt for then to start the IF stuff...gah.

[scout]

AF started today and normally I am fine with it but this month, I'm not so fine with it. We have new insurance in jan, so I should book an appt for then to start the IF stuff...gah. I'm so, so sorry. I know just how you feel. :(

jjsanner Sorry the witch found you too. :(

[Bucktown]

HGMorgan I'm sorry, too. It really blows to have to deal with the disappointment each month, especially during the holiday season.


Me~ Not much going on here. cd18. We were able to get some well timed lovin' (remember, I'm not trying! ;)) but every month we've had great timing so I'm not too hopeful anymore. I did get the pre-seed just in time and I really like the stuff. Too bad it's so darn expensive and in an awkward applicator. T-day weekend my hubby surprised me with a new treadmill. WOW, is it nice!! If I can't be pg by summer I'm going to bust my butt getting skinny!

[Bucktown]

Started another cycle today. I don't know what I was thinking when I said I was done trying. It hurts just as bad as everyother month we 'were trying'. I'm trying to decide if I should call the RE and discuss our options. I think I need to know more specifics about DH's S/A results & why they aren't 'perfect'. Unsure of whether to do clomid this cycle since now day 13 will fall on 12/23 (need u/s & trigger) and getting in BD-ing will be stressful enough with commuting to see family on the 24th & 25th. :(

Last night I started looking at open adoption websites and of families spilling their lives out on the internet just hoping that a birthmother will pick them to adopt their child. I cried when I read them. Maybe PMS or maybe because I can identify with some of the families that had one bio-child and can't have anymore and desperately want another. Geeze. Can I bring myself down anymore right before Christmas? :( :(

[jjsanner]

Awww, Bucktown, I'm so sorry your feeling down. I know what you mean, even when you're not trying you kind of still ARE trying because you know where you are at in your cycle and you think mabey you BD'd at the right time and MABEY there's still a chance....It's so tough, especially this time of the year. We (actually, more like I) were looking at adoption a few months back and I remember looking at those same websites that you describe and getting all teary-eyed, too. But then DH nixed the adoption idea, so we're back to trying again.

I am 9 DPO (I think, wasn't charting this month) and I fully expect to start spotting any time now. I have pretty short LP's, usually 10 days. Anyway, I started acupuncture last week and I really like it. Very relaxing. My acupuncturist specializes in infertility and she claims that she will have me pregnant in a few months.....I guess we'll see.

We had all of our repeat pregnancy loss bloodwork done and am waiting to hear back from the RE. I aslo had a Sonohistogram (not pleasant AT ALL!) and the results were all clear. So that is good. Now I hope the bloodwork shows what the problem is. I cannot handle another miscarriage and I am scared that we will get pregnant before we know what the problem is. I have been taking one baby aspirin a day just in case.....

[Bucktown]

jjsanner~ I hope you get some answers through the RPL b/w sooner rather than later. I know sometimes getting the results seem to take forever. Not sure which will be better though, knowing the problem or having there be no problem?? My DH, in a previous conversation, said he'd be open to adoption, but I think he doesn't feel as if we've tried long enough yet to 'throw in the towl', so to speak. Sure, I suppose in relation to others TTC we haven't been at it that long -- 10 months, 11 cycles -- but again, I'm going with my/his age, high risk pregnancy and post cancer, I had a timeframe of when I could reasonably forget about all that and focus on getting pg and staying alive to care for my kids.

Wow, am I blabbing way too much.....

cd 3 for me today. DH & I decided to do 100mg of clomid again. This will be cycle 3 on it. I went in for my baseline u/s and again had to take a pg test to confirm no pregnancy since my lining was 11! at cd3. Tonight I start the clomid and go in on 12/23 for a scan & trigger. I did ask about DH's S/A results and they are fine.

52 mil
76% mobility
66% motility
Not sure about morphology. Forgot about that one.

One of these try's has to produce something!

[jeggink]

I just wanted to post this for a minute. We are also having a tough time having a second child. Two 1st trimester m/c and a 2nd tri m/c all this year. Anyway, I found a book at the library called the infertility diet and it really gives interesting information on infertilty & m/c. I am going to start following the diet (includes yams, wheat germ, alfalfa, vegtables, nuts, etc, but no meat or milk products for the most part). Since we have had most of the blood work and everything has come back negative, all I can assume for myself is that since I have been eating poorly that maybe my body is defficient in some nutrients (like magnesium). It takes a few months and also explains what foods & vitamins can help DH's sperm. Anyway, it is an interesting read and just thought I would mention it for what it's worth. Good luck ladies!

[jjsanner]

AF reared her ugly head this morning.

Also got the RPL results.....everything came back fine (except DH's which aren't back yet). Still no answers. Bucktown, I almost do feel like the "all fine" is worse that if they had found a problem. At least then we could treat it. I am so frustrated.

I have a call into the RE. I want to see what the protocall will be for next cycle.

[Bucktown]

Jeggink ~ Thanks for that book rec. I may look into it more. I had been following your story with your little girl and my heart just breaks for you & your family. Take care of yourselves. I read the 'high risk' thread because I know I'll be joining that thread someday.

jjsanner ~ This is a mixed blessing for you. I hope your RE has a plan of action for you and that you get a sticky bean!


Nothing new here cycle wise. Started the clomid last night. My 2.5 yr old has started boycotting naps though. Only ONE this week! Oh well. I was hoping he'd nap till he was around 3 but I'm guessing that's not going to happen.

[Bucktown]

I just got some most fantastic news I've heard in a long time. My brother & sister-in-law have been trying to have a baby for 7 years! and they are finally pg w/ #1. I can't believe it, I cried (tears of joy) when she told me.

Her & my brother got pg 7 years ago but she miscarried at 12 weeks. Since then, she's been on/off fert meds because she has PCOS and almost never gets AF. Then, 3 years ago she found out she has MS which was a horrible blow to her & our family. She had been doing well on her drug regimen for the MS and accepted that having a bio child was not going to happen. Truly amazing stuff here. What a great Christmas this will be. I'm going to her u/s on 12/29. I'm way too excited!

[HGMorgann]

That is great news Bucktown! I hope they have a wonderful and easy pregnancy!

We are out this month. Dh had emergency surgery yesterday (he is okay, but very sore)- and it's O-time right now. Oh well. No sex for 2 weeks, so maybe next month!

[Scooter]

I hate barging in, since we're not even TTC again yet. We're not planning to try again for another 6 mos or so, and have decided to actively try for a couple months on our own before going back to the RE (we'll go straight to IUIs and injectibles, since that's what worked the first time).

The problem is I would like to continue to breastfeed. The info I have found online is very mixed--some people say the hormones are fine and some say you can't breastfeed with them. Others say the RE won't even see you until 3-6mos after weaning, so your hormones even out. And still others say there's no point in continuing to BF, because it makes your prolactin level high enough that it decreases the effectiveness of the fertility meds. Anyone know anything about treatment while BFing, or have you discussed it with your REs? TIA for any info. :)

[Bucktown]

HGMorgan~ Sorry to hear about your DH's surgery. Glad that he's ok!

Scooter ~ Hmmm, I don't have any info on BF-ing and fertility meds. Maybe post the question in the family planning board? Someone is sure to read & know there I would think. Good luck!


cd10 here. My DS has been sick for over a week now and back in our bed. We've been so tired from caring for him that BD-ing is not even on my mind right now. Bd-ing will be anything but romantic this month since the kid is in my bed & we'll have to resort to elsewhere AND he wakes every 15 minutes or so and screams if we're not right there. :rolleyes: Is this another outward sign that 2 is not in the cards for us?

[jjsanner]

Oh, Bucktown, I feel your pain! DS woke in the middle of the night Tuesday throwing up. Poor baby. I had to strip his bed to put the sheets in the wash, so we brought him into bed with us. Other than that, I don't know what the problem is, but lately I have had ZERO sex drive. My poor DH.

And no, it's not a sign about #2. I have confidence that it WILL happen for all of us, its just a matter of timing. That's what I keep telling myself. Here we are, 18 cycles later, and I am trying really hard to remain positive.

Oh, and congrats to your brother and sister-in-law! That is fantastic news!

Scooter, sorry, I have no idea about bf and fertility meds!

HGMorgann, sorry about your hubby's surgery! But glad he is OK!

[Bucktown]

jjsanner~ Ugh. We've been dealing with the vomiting every night for 8 nights now. Problem with us is that DS is an 'on command' puker so even if he's not sick he throws up when pissed off about something--total control issue. So before he got sick he started puking in his crib because he didn't want to be in there, then he got sick. Probably from not sleeping and his immune system weakening from all the fits at bed time, no napping & getting minimal sleep in our bed. Thankfully the illness is on it's way out.

I agree that it will eventually happen too but it definitely gets discouraging. I will try to keep my thoughts positive as well but with my 36th b-day approaching fast, I'm totally bummed. On a good note, if I get pg anytime now I'll deliver my baby in the brand new state-of-the-art women's center at our hospital. It's suppose to open Fall '07 and wow is it beautiful.

[Bucktown]

Had my cd 13 u/s this morning. 2 mature follies--22 right/21 left--. Did the trigger and we'll be doing our first IUI tomorrow morning at 8am! Wish us luck!

[Scooter]

Bucktown and jjsanner, thanks anyway! Maybe I will post over in FP like you suggested.

Good luck tomorrow, Bucktown, hope it goes well and works for you!

[Bucktown]

4 DPO today. We had our IUI on Christmas Eve which turned out well. The tech said we had 16.9 mil 'good' sperm to do the insem. Strange that we started with 62 mil which shrank to 38 mil post wash, then only 16.9 mil were the one's left? I don't fully understand it but she said that was a good sample. I think she also said that 89% were swimming the right way? Anyway, I half charted --couple days before I knew I would O then till I got my thermal shift. Looks like the IUI was timed well. I wound up O-ing on Christmas Eve, the IUI was at 9:35 am that morning.

We are off to Salt Lake City till 1/14 so I'll know out there. I'll be checking in. Happy New Year!

[Bucktown]

Just wanted to update:

I got my BFP this morning at 13 DPO. I'm cautiously excited. I go in for my u/s between weeks 6-8 so we'll see if we got one or two of those eggs.

Guess I won't truely believe till my AF due day has come & gone. She should have been here on Monday if she's a show. Hopefully she'll just cancel. ;)

[scout]

Congrats, Buck!!!!!! keep us posted! That's great about your family too!

I wanted to update as well. I'd been taking a break, since my last round of Clomid failed. My RE wanted to do another HSG, which I was very much against and then start injectibles. I took a break, and last week, I found out I was pregnant. I'm seven weeks along. I saw the heartbeat on Thursday, so I'm being cautious, but feel better about things. I can't believe I went seven weeks without knowing I was pregnant.


[B]Scooter/B] I know my RE doesn't prescribe fertility meds to bfing women, but I know that the research is mixed.

[Bucktown]

Scout~ Thanks and a huge Congratulations to you, too! I can't believe you went 7 weeks without knowing either! WoW!

[HGMorgann]

Congrats to Bucktown and Scout!

[Natrat80]

Hi, I have been searching for a thread just like this!

Here's my story:

I was put on BCP for horrible cramps/long periods/etc when I was 18 and stayed on them until I was 24 when we started ttc #1. When I got off BCP I had a 2 cycles where I ovulated, but it was very late (cd 29-32) and had short luteal phases. Then came the never ending cycle of 73 days! I called my ob during this cycle and he did bloodwork (I think) and said he suspected PCOS. I was put on clomid and got pregnant the second month. DD was born 6.14.05.

TTC #2 has been a little different. My cycles are much shorter-30 days or so which is nice, but I'm not ovulating, even on 100mg of clomid! We've been trying since June 06 (not preventing since April/May 06) with no luck! I am currently on cycle #3 of clomid 100mg. I'm on cd 25 with no o in sight, but it doesn't matter anyway since DH is out of town! I just bought a Clearblue easy fertility monitor and hope to use it next cycle, probably in combination with Clomid.

I'm going to a different OB/GYN than the one who delivered DD since we moved when DD was 10 days old. My old OB never did any testing besides bloodwork, and I think his words were that he 'suspected' pcos. We never did an ultrasound of my ovaries or anything, just went straight to clomid. My new OB/GYN took my history and when I told her DD was conceived on clomid she said she'd write me a Rx when for clomid. She did some bloodwork, but I don't remember it coming back abnormal. I'm just wondering if I should request more testing before doing more clomid or try to find an RE. What do you all think?

[jenjen0713]

Bucktown - I just saw your good news and wanted to extend a huge CONGRATULATIONS to you!! I know it has been a long road for you!:D

[Bucktown]

Thank you HGM & JenJen.

HGM~ I hope I can find you when your BFP comes. Isn't your RE appointment soon?

JenJen~ I can't believe you are due next month. The time moved so fast, but not so fast, if you know what I mean?

Natra