Wedding gift for someone I don't know?

[AlenaCal]

Ok, you ladies are the experts, so I'm hoping you can help me out... in about a month, I'm going with my BF to his friend's wedding in NC (we live in VA). I've never met the couple, but BF is a groomsman in the ceremony, so I've been invited as his guest to the rehearsal dinner, ceremony, etc. My question is, what should I do for a present? BF has no idea if they're registered anywhere, so he's just planning on giving them money. Should I pitch in on the monetary gift, make him get them a card so I can sign it, or what? Any suggestions? TIA!

[{b}]

A card from both of you and a check is approrpiate. I wouldn't expect two gifts from one couple, you know?

Can your BF call the groom's mom and ask where/if they are registered?

[bookworm]

The ex-bf and I had a deal where I'd buy gifts for my friends and sign his name, and he'd do the same for his friends.

ETA: On the registry thing, it's usually pretty easy--try Macy's, Bloomie's, Bed Bath & Beyond, Williams-Sonoma, Crate & Barrel, and Pottery Barn. It will take <10 minutes to check them all, and 90% of the time you'll find them.

[kindermom]

You totally should be signing your name to his card. Heck, if it was my BF, I would not even be contributing, I would expect for him to put some in on my behalf. To be fair, it goes the other way as well. I suspect few expect each member of a couple to give a gift.

[kimthebride]

I al always buying gifts for people I don't know and have zero info on (ie: DH's work associates!).

I'd do a registry search first, its free and will take a few minutes to hit a bunch of websites:
- weddingchannel.com (covers Pottery Barn, Macy's, etc)
- Bloomingdales.com
- Target.com
etc etc
When you find it, get BF's credit card and go buy 1 gift from the both of you. The bride/groom is his friend and you don't know them so its his responsibilty to buy the gift.

If you can't find it, then your BF needs to write a check and sign the card "BF Full Name and Jane Smith". Why don't you buy a nice card for him to sign? :)

And if they are very generous to you as a guest while you are there, why not after the fact send them a card thanking them for being so generous and pop a few pictures you take that day inside? That way you are giving something from you (but you should sign this card "Your Name and BF".

[KrissyCat7]

I agree with everyone else. One gift from both of you is just fine.

If you go to www.theknot.com you can enter the couples name and it will search a ton of registries to see if they are registered.

[tenofcups]

Agree with the others. Just put your name on his card. When I was single and would invite a boyfriend as a date to a wedding, I expected to pay for the entire gift myself but include his name on the card.

As for what to give, if your BF is comfortable giving money, then that's fine. Just put your name on the card. Money is the norm in many areas and among many groups of people (including my own family and friends). Even if it's not among his friends and family, it's really his gift so his call as to what to get. And it's really not your responsibility to look for registeries for his friends if he's not inclined to do it himself.

[AlenaCal]

Thanks for the comments, guys. :) My BF is pretty set on just giving cash, so I'll make sure he has a card to go with it that I can sign my name to (he's not exactly the most, uh, thoughtful person when it comes to ettiquette...)