DD HATES the car/carseat and stroller!

[Bloomwood]

DD is 16 weeks old. Since day 1 she has hated the stroller and carseat. Well, there were those blissful sleepy newborn days when she just slept in them, but ever since she's figured out she's alone in them she screams.

It doesn't matter if she's just up from a nap, well fed and clean diapered.

DH and I both have nice cars, so she is not suffering in any bumpy rides. She is good in the car for about 10 minutes - I swear it is getting shorter, too - then all hell breaks loose. I've tried a kick and play frog mirror, hanging little toys off the headrests and music. I must have a conservative in the making because she HATES NPR, so I've played Laurie Berkner and Dan Zanes CDs. All to no avail. She will eventually fall asleep, but only after I am completely stressed and convinced I'm going to crash.

As for the stroller, same thing. We have a Bugaboo, so it has a bassinet as well as adjustable seat. I was convinced she was frustrated because she couldn't see enough out of the bassinet, so I ditched that. Even though it says not to do it until 6 mos, I have her in the seat, slightly inclined thinking she'll be happy if she can see more. Nope. I've tried with her facing me and facing out. Nada. Again, good for about 10 minutes and then melts down. In this case I keep an emergency bottle and give her that (because of course she won't take a pacifier at just any ol' time). She's happy as long as there is milk and I keep the slow flow nipple on to make it last longer. The second it runs out, she's done. This morning she nursed a ton and then sucked down 4 oz. of milk on our walk. There is no way she was hungry - she's going to be a pudge!

Anyway, will she just outgrow this? I use the Bjorn typically, but my back can only take so much. Would love any suggestions or commiseration!

[solongtogo]

Is she still in the infant carseat? I know other moms when their babies would scream when they went into the carseat, they put their child in a convertable one, and baby has stopped screaming every time. It's possible she dosen't like the position she's in...so maybe put her more upright, etc in the stroller....

I think I read your baby has colic right? One of the other moms on my LJ that had a colicy baby said thaat that only thing that helped was that bjorn...

[Bloomwood]

Is she still in the infant carseat? I know other moms when their babies would scream when they went into the carseat, they put their child in a convertable one, and baby has stopped screaming every time. It's possible she dosen't like the position she's in...so maybe put her more upright, etc in the stroller....

Hmm...maybe it is time to get the convertible. She's getting to heavy to easily carry in the carseat anyway.


I think I read your baby has colic right? One of the other moms on my LJ that had a colicy baby said thaat that only thing that helped was that bjorn...

Well, she was colicky, that has passed and yes, definitely the Bjorn was a lifesaver as it was one of the few places she'd sleep.

I just want a baby that is content to let me take her to do things. As it is, I plan all of my errands around when someone else can watch her. Not that bad, but sometimes I'd like to do things when I want to do them, even if that means her coming with, KWIM?

Thanks for the suggestions.

[aprilbride03]

Another mom who is in the same situation! I also have the bugaboo and I changed her out of the bassinet at about 3 1/2 months because she was NOT happy in it. She now does better in the seat reclined, but only for so long. Then, she cries and I end up pushing the stroller and holding her.
As far as crying in the car, that has stopped. It was one of those things where one day she decided the carseat wasnt a torture device and doesnt really cry anymore in it. She is 5 months now and it has been a few weeks since her big turn around. So maybe you will have the same luck?? :confused:
No advice really but I understand the frustration. I agree with the PP, maybe try the convertible and see if it helps.

[lee60657]

Bloomwood: My DD HATED her infant carseat. You should definitely look into a convertible one, that may make the car rides more bearable. It helped some for us. Also, I know it is controversial, but do you let her watch Baby Einstein type DVDs....if so once she get unconsolable that may soothe her in the car (if you have a DVD player) in one of your cars. I know some people hate BE (or similar) videos though so that may not be the right choice for you, but it is an option. Also, my DD did outgrow her hate of the carseat eventually.

As for the stroller, that is a tough one, it sounds like you have tried all of the solutions I would have suggested. I will think on that one.

Good luck, and remember she will outgrow it:)

[HGMorgann]

Another mom of a kid who hated the infant carseat. She screamed her head off on all car rides until we switched her to the convertable. I sooo wish we did it earlier. Life became so much enjoyable once we switched her.

She wasn't a fan of the stroller either. As soon as we could put her in a lightweight umbrella like one, we did and she was happier to be able to "see and touch" the world.

[EJH]

I posted an identical post many moons back. DD despised her infant seat. Would scream from the moment she was in it until we arrived at our destination, whether it was 10 minutes or 45 minutes, she would scream.

We went out and bought her a Britax Marathon when she was about 8 weeks old. The result was astounding. She stopped screaming in the car. :) I don't know if it was the angle of her snugride or what, but she is so much happier in the Britax.

In terms of the stroller...hmm. DD much much much preferred being in the Bjorn for many months. For the first month of her life we only had the snap n go so you can see why she hated it, more time in the carseat. :o We got a PP Venezia and she was happy enough in it, but really wanted to be carried most of the time. We finally got her used to the stroller since she was 18lbs at just 4 months old, she had no choice.

Good Luck!!

[AlisonCO]

I just want a baby that is content to let me take her to do things.

Oh I can't tell you how many times I said this to my DH when DS was little. I would go to the mall and see the other moms with babies happily in the travel system and I would go home and cry because I couldn't eve run one errand with DS let alone walk around the mall. Anyway I am sad to tell you that for us it never changed - it was all part of his high-needs personality(which started out as the colic.) I used the Bjorn until I couldn't take it anymore and then switched to a backpack carrier. My DH used the Bjorn until he was over a year old! Then when DS was a bit older he would ride in the stroller as long as I had a billion cherrios to keep him busy. The switch to the convertible made a huge difference in the car with both of mine too. There is some really good info out there about high needs kids - I especially like Dr. Sears. It helps to see that you are not alone and that it does get better/easier with time and age. It also helped me to realize that DS would never be like all of those other babies but it took awhile to get over it.

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/T050100.asp

[LexyLou]

Bloomwood-We have the same DD. I'm serious.

#1-Definitely get her out of the infant carseat and in to the convertible. That helped us a lot. DD never loved the car but the convertible made it easier.

#2-Bring that Bjorn everywhere. We almost bought a Bugaboo and then went with a P3 and a Maclaran and joke about how happy we are we didn 't get the Bugaboo because she is not a stroller kid. At 11 months old she will tolerate the stroller if in the perfect mood but she will never fall asleep in it or stay in for prolonged periods of time. It's gotten much better with time.

Just keep bringing the stroller and try keeping her in it as long as she will let you and then pop her in the Bjorn. After a little bit, try her back in the stroller. If she'll let you, cool. If not just put her back in the Bjorn.

Overtime, she'll probably allow you longer periods in the Bjorn. For us it got easier in the stroller when I could give her snacks. If she gets nudgy I can get a couple more minutes if I throw some cheerios on her snack tray.

Good luck!

[tray622]

I remember your earlier posts too and your daughter sounded a lot like my daughter. She HATED, HATED, HATED her carseat. I would cry every time I had to go somewhere. We switched her to her convertible, like others said, and it was huge difference. Now, she will still cry but only when she is tired. She isnt one to sleep in her carseat.

As for the stroller, Jocey still wont last longer than 20 minutes or so. I have resigned myself to slinging her on my hip for now.

Good luck!

[Kopper]

For the first 3.5-4 months DS would scream every car ride the entire time. Well he didn't the first week but after that car rides were horrible. I hated going anywhere b/c I couldn't take the crying. If we really had to go some where and it couldn't take it I would turn the radio up not too loud but enough for me to tune out his cries until we got there. Sometime around the 4 month mark he just stopped. It was gradual and he wouldn't cry for a few car rides and then he would. He did grow out of it and now he rarely cries unless he has been in the car awhile and is hungry or tired.

[bluhimmy]

DS was the same way. He screamed and cried nonstop in the car, carseat, and stroller. I hated going any and everywhere. It was horrible, and I totally felt like I was trapped in the house. I think it was around 5 months when he finally stopped crying in the car. As for the stroller, it took a lot longer. He's not a fan of being strapped down. It wasn't until around 1, he started to somewhat tolerate the stroller. But it was very minimal.

[uskiku]

Bloomwood, the one thing I managed to accomplish over this last summer was to “stroller-train” DS (he’s the same age as your DD). We have the Peg Perego Pliko and he hated it from the first moment we put him in it. It made me so sad, as I had envisioned this beautiful summer at my parents’ place with a great park nearby where I would elegantly stroll with a happily giggling or sleeping babe. Oh well. :rolleyes:

I started my stroller camp around 3-4 week mark. Every day I went out for a short walk. It started out as maybe 10 minutes (some days I could not get him to stay there for more than 2 minutes and had to come back immediately), often 5 or 7 minutes. After 3-4 weeks he tolerated the stroller for 30 minutes (and no more!). Then we went to stay with my parents. Every afternoon I took him to the park. I also brought the Bjorn. He lasted 30-40 minutes in the stroller and then I put him in the Bjorn. Unfortunately, I have a very bad back, so I needed to change our Bjorn “routine”. My mother suggested I’d gently rock the stroller while walking. Her suggestion was to try “creating wave-like motions” with the handlebar. We have the Kiddopotamus sun shade and that worked great providing a sort of artificial night-time atmosphere. He did let out a few yelps at the beginning. I never let him scream: took him out, hold him for a bit, put him back in.

He does not take long naps in the stroller: almost always wakes up at the 30-minute mark, but now he stays in it at least for an hour (while awake) without too much complaining. It’s getting a little more difficult now that he is rolling over and wants to do that all the time, but he has not had a serious “stroller strike” for a few months now.
HTH!

(By the way, sorry to hijack your thread, but I lurk in the May thread a little :o (DS was supposed to be an April baby but was born on May 1st) and noticed your awesome list of accomplished goals. Would you mind if I PM’d you (I don’t want to hijack this thread!) for some advice regarding sleep-training? You seem to have accomplished so much with your daughter!)

[Bloomwood]

Thanks for all of your advice! I am going to get a convertible this weekend. Yesterday I REALLY got her upset - went straight from the carseat to the stroller. Oh man! I ultimately had her face out and she did okay for about 30 minutes, but in the end, I was carrying her. Then, of course, we had to get back in the car... I have another walk scheduled today, so I'm going to try some of your ideas.

Aprilbride - Yep, have done the hold and push too. It is even harder when I have our dog with us on the leash. Thanks for your perspective.

Lee - we don't have a DVD player, but if I did, I would totally use it. Whatever works, right??!

HGMorgann - sounds like a convertible is in my near future!

EJH - Britax Marathon. Got it! So good to know that other moms go through the same thing. Yeah, the carrier kills my back. I just want her to get used to the darn stroller!

Alison - I checked out the high needs article when you posted for me before. She definitely fits some of the criteria. I'd be curious what other challenges you've experienced that I may have ahead of me.

LexyLou - too funny. I guess that is what I get from taking so much inspiration from your nursery photos - a similar daughter! :rolleyes: I'll try the back and forth with the Bjorn/Bug today!

tray - I have a ring sling actually, I should try it. And, thanks for one for affirmation of the convertible. I'm sold.

Kopper- I really hope she out grows it like your son. I have also tried turning up the radio.

bluhimmy - 1?? Ugh!

uskiku - I had those same visions. Maybe I'll try your stroller camp combo with LexyLou's Bjorn switching. And, yes, please feel free to PM me. I'm clueless about so many things mom-related, but am proud of my sleep accomplishments. We did do CIO, though...

[EJH]

Good luck -- I hope the transition is a help for you guys. We got the Marathon because DD liked it. Seriously. We put her in that one and another carseat with more padding. I thought she'd like the padding. She didn't. LOL. But in the Marathon, once all strapped in, she smiled. We were sold. It's been worth every penny for us!!

:D

[Bloomwood]

Thanks for all of your tips. We are going to get the carseat this weekend, but in the meantime, I've been working on the stroller.

I've found that if I take her out and hold her a few minutes and then put her back in, she does okay. It is like re-booting my computer. Of course, I try to catch her before she gets too intense. This has worked for two days in a row on our 20 minute morning walks. I'm still too chicken to do it for our 1+ hour afternoon walks. Also, our nanny strolled her around the house yesterday and she seemed to be all smiles for her too. Maybe it was just a matter of 1) putting in the stroller seat on slightly inclined and 2) getting used to it.

Like everything else, now that I've written about progress, she'll probably be a total basket case next time I try it! :rolleyes:

[Bloomwood]

I thought I should come back and update!

DD will be 5 months on Monday. Over the last few weeks, she has totally turned a corner. I never managed to get the convertible carseat. I couldn't decided which one and ended up paralyzed by indecision. It worked out okay though.

I don't know where this little girl came from. She is a happy, smiley, patient little thing that somehow has learned to go with the flow. We had a 1 1/2 hour car trip yesterday that started right around her nap time. Before she'd scream her head off until she couldn't fight it anymore and finally pass out from exhaustion. Know what she did? Played with her toy until she dropped it, then stared out the window for a bit before finally just falling asleep.

And, the stroller. Wow. We were on vacation and wanted to eat out for our last dinner on Thursday. Of course, dinner would be right at her bedtime...it would've been a death sentence even 2 weeks before. We walked to the restaurant with her in her stroller, wheeled her to the table...she fell asleep. She woke up right toward the end, just looking around and was perfectly happy the rest of the outing.

Thank you so much to everyone who gave me advice, support and shared experiences!

To anyone else going through this, HANG IN THERE! I know it is so hard to imagine that your baby will ever be different, but s/he will!