Sleepover Party

[karlatta]

How old should kids be for their first sleepover party?

My DD is bugging me to have a sleepover party for her birthday this year (she'll be 9). I'm not wanting to do it for several reasons, but primarily because I'm not sure that 8/9 is an appropriate age for a sleepover party. It just seems to me like an activity for older children. Maybe because I wasn't allowed to have sleepover parties until I was 12?

Do you or will you allow your children to have a sleepover party? At what age?

(To clarify, I'm asking about a party - where there are a group of girls. I feel that just having one girl sleep over is a different thing - and I would be okay with that.)

[Liz]

I don't have children but I had my first sleepover party when I was about 10 but I went to my first sleepover party when I was 8 in 3rd grade. I think it depends on your child and how you feel about it. If you think she is too young then wait a year and talk about it again.

[maxandmolly]

I remember going to one when I was 8 for my friend's 8th birthday. But then, she had the 'cool' mom.

[berry]

I remember having one when I was 8 or 9 (3rd grade) and going to ones around that time. After my sleepover, my mother banned me (and my little sis) from having sleepovers until hs. Apparently, she didn't find it much fun to be up all night trying to get 10 of us kids to settle down!:)

[IrishMeg]

I think 9 is the absolute youngest I would have a sleepover. Sure a sleepover is easy for your DD because it is at her house. But for other kids the sleepover may cause some anxiety.

I wouldn't rule it out completely. I would probably negotiate for having one or two friends spend the night. Before I told DD, I'd probably talk to the other girls moms to see how they felt. If they and their respective daughters would be able to handle it, I would do it.

I would probably explain to DD that if either of her friends are really anxious or are asking to go home, that you intend to drive them home. I'd explain that to the kids parents, as well.

[coquelicot]

I started spending the night over at my best friend's house as young as 6. However, I went to my first bonafide slumber party when I was 9, almost 10.

Down the road, if we have a daughter, I'll just have to play it by ear. Some girls may be ready for that kind of thing earlier than others. Plus it definitely depends on how willing the parents are to host something like that!

[Cali_Katy]

I think I was probably 9 or 10 when the slumber parties started happening, though I did my first sleepover at a friend's house when I was maybe five. (It was my next-door neighbor.)

I heard of a really cute idea, though, called a "sleepunder" party for kids who are a bit too young for sleepover parties. Your guests show up in the early evening in their pajamas. You order pizza, make some popcorn and rent some movies. Then, when it's bedtime, the parents come to pick up the kids and take them home. Everyone gets the fun of a sleepover, but a good night's sleep, too.

[Sarah]

8 or 9, depending on maturity. Maybe limit the number of girls? Say she can have 3 girls for a sleepover, or 6 (or whatever) for a regular party?

[mamax2]

I think I was about 8 when I started having/going to sleepover parties. I agree with PPs that it entirely depends on your DD's maturity and that of her friends. I think limiting the number of people is a great compromise.

[Traciann]

My friend did a sleepunder for her 5 year old and I thought it was so smart. They came dressed in pj's had pizza, painted toenails and i think watched a princess movie. Then the parents picked them up before bedtime. I think this might be a great alternative. I am not sure I would do a big number fo girls but if it was with dd's two best friends, maybe at her age.

[karlatta]

Thanks for your input, everyone.

DH and I have talked about it, and we decided not to do a sleepover. (Although a sleepunder seems like a great idea!) My DD is almost 9, but is in the 2nd grade. So most of her friends are a good year to year and a half younger than her. I'm not seeing a party full of 7 year olds going over well, you know?

We haven't told her this, but we may let her have just one friend spend the night. So she'd still get the "sleepover" experience, but without as much headache. Then she could also have a regular party.

[ManteoChik]

I think I was about 7 when I went to my first sleepover.

When I was between 7-9 my parents let me have a regular birthday party and then I could have 2-3 friends stay over that night instead of the whole party. They were really quiet about it, meaning that it wasn't announced to everyone....my mom would put their sleeping bags and overnight bags in her bedroom so the other kids didn't see it and there was no jealousy.

I think I was 10 when I was allowed to have a large sleepover, but I always had sleepover's with like one friend at a time.

My little sister is 7 and has had a friend sleepover but has yet to sucessfully make it through a whole night at someone else's house. I think it depends on the child, my little sister does not like to be away from her mother where as some of her friends are very comfortable staying over at friend's homes.

[Sarah]

Ooh, sleepunder sounds fab! Do all the girly stuff, maybe pedicures and ice cream sundaes, and watch a movie, have a pillow fight, whatever, but have the parents pick them up at 10:00.