How do you know?

[Kopper]

When to put an animal down? My 9 year old cat Maxine has cancer in her intestines. She was diagnosed right after my son was born so about 4 months ago. We noticed in the last year she had been losing weight. About 7-8 months ago it started being noticable so we took her to the vet. We had tests run and they thought it was liver failure b/c of her biliruben (sp?) levels. So after several different tests they finally did an u/s and saw a mass. They wanted to do surgery to remove it and then chemo but we declined. I feel terrible about it but she is 9 years old and they were giving her a 50/50 shot at best. We also didn't have the $3k to spend on it.

So anyways fast forward to now. Our vet told us as long as she is acting herself, eating, drinking, eliminating etc we didn't need to put her down right way. She doesn't seem in pain and will still even play with the laser light. She's friendly and will let me pick her up and always wants to be pet. The thing is she is still losing weight. She is now just skin and bones at 5lb 10oz. Before she was sick she weighed 9lbs. Her coat is not very nice anymore and she doesn't really take care of it so I do. Even so it's not as soft or shiny like it used to be. You can tell she is jaundiced by looking at her ears and gums.

So my question is since she doesn't seem in pain and is still eating and acting like herself how long do we let this go on? She loses about an ounce or two per week. I hate seeing her waste away but I can't even think about letting her go yet. How do I do this? I've had her since she was 4 months old. :( :(

[MLA]

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. It's a very sad situation. I think you'll know when it's time. There will be a sign -- she'll stop eating or she won't do that cute thing she's always done in the morning to greet you or something. There will come a point when you just *know* that she's unhappy.

I know for my best friend, she knew it was time to put her cat down when she came downstairs in the morning and her kitty didn't greet her with a meow at all. She just sat there listlessly. She was very ill by then -- really just skin and bones. BFF couldn't bear the thought of euthanizing her, but that sign was just so clear to her. So, we took her (Penelope was her name) to the vet that day. I went in with her while she was put to sleep because my BFF just couldn't be in the room and she wanted Penelope to have someone she knew with her when she passed. I know it was a hard decision for her, but that sign helped her immensly in making it.

[Toonces]

ITA with MLA. I'm sorry you're going through this. I know how difficult it is. {{{{Hugs}}}}

[Sabrina]

So sorry that your kitty has cancer :( I agree with the PP's, you will know when it is time for her to go.

My IL's just had a similar incident with their cat, he was only 3 or 4 years old and he was diagnosed with cancer. One day he stopped cleaning himself, and stopped getting up to use the litter box. At that point, we knew it was time for him to go.

[jesvet]

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. It's a very sad situation. I think you'll know when it's time. There will be a sign -- she'll stop eating or she won't do that cute thing she's always done in the morning to greet you or something. There will come a point when you just *know* that she's unhappy.


Perfectly put. When it's time, she will let you know. And I am so sorry.

[nyclaura]

I'm so sorry my heart just breaks for you. I've been dealing with a sick kitty this spring/summer and I've been very emotional about the possibility of him not getting better and needing to be put to sleep. It's such a hard decision and I agree with the other posters that your pet will give you signs.

I wonder if there might be pain medicine that you could get from the vet to give her if she seems to be in distress? It's likely to be a nominal fee and might help her live out the next few months in as little pain as possible.

[IrishMeg]

I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for you. Maxine is so lucky to have someone who cares so much about her quality of life. I will be thinking of both of you.

[usafwife]

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. We lost my baby who I had for nearly 17 years two years ago. We found out he had cancer about a month (maybe a little longer) before he passed away. It was hard watching him go downhill. What made it even harder was that my DH and I were living a few hours away at the time (my kitty was living with my parents because I just could not stand to seperate him and my dad, who was sick at the time). So I wasn't there when he passed away.

My parents had to make the decision twice for two different dogs. I'm not exactly certain what they based their decisions on (as I wasn't there and it wasn't something that we really talked about). I know with the last one they weren't given a time frame of how long but as she kept on getting skinner and skinner and then wouldn't eat the decision became harder. Still it's not an easy decision to make. And I'm sorry that you have to be in the place to make it. {{{HUGS}}}

[Kopper]

Thanks everyone for the support and I'm sorry about everyone's fur babies. It's so hard to think about what will eventually happen. I know the day is coming but I've been in denial. I was always told she would probably only live to 10 years because she has a pretty bad heart murmur and her heart is fine it's the cancer that is making her sick. I've been debating on if I will be in the room with her when the time comes. I want to be in there but I'm not sure I can handle it. I have a hard time with this stuff. When my grandma died I couldn't go up to her casket at the viewing because I didn't want to see her that way. I don't want to remember Maxine as sick you know?

[MLA]

I've been debating on if I will be in the room with her when the time comes. I want to be in there but I'm not sure I can handle it. I have a hard time with this stuff.

Have you thought about asking a good friend who your kitty knows? I lived w/my best friend and Penelope at the time she was put to sleep, so she knew me pretty well, but even if I hadn't lived with her, I would have gladly saved my BFF the pain of being in the room while it was happening. I can honestly say that it wasn't horrible. She passed quietly, and I think she was happy to be going. It was such a weird feeling, but I knew that.

[fuzzy]

I'm sorry about your baby, too.

I do, also, think there will be a time when you just *know*. That said, I'm the queen of denial and often times have a really, really hard time acknowledging the fact that the time has come. I know in the past kam (I think I have this right, wouldn't want to misquote her) has advised that the pet parent make a list of three of the animal's favorite activities. When they can no longer do those three things, you need to really sit down and think about the decision. Doing stuff like that helps me focus on the pet, and not my own grief.

[jesvet]

Just to prepare you so you can decide whether or not to be there- most of the time the vet tech places an IV catheter. Depending on how alert the pet is, they may give a tranquilizer or anesthetic before hand so they are sedated. The euthanasia solution is an overdose of another anesthetic agent, so they fall asleep first, then they pass. It takes about a minute or two, and is very peaceful.

Most people who think they can't handle being there actually do end up staying- it's OK to cry and be upset. If you can't do it, that's fine too, the pets know they are loved either way.

Good luck to you.

[MLA]

Just checking in on you and your kitty. . .

[jbenny75]

I'm so sorry.

DH and I just went through this with our dog, who was only 4 and 1/2. He suddenly developed a very nasty heart disease common to his breed. Talk about being in denial. We only found out that he could be sick on a Tuesday and by Sunday, he was so sick that we had to let him go. It was so hard to believe that our dog, who had up until a few days earlier been completely healthy and normal , was so sick that we needed to make a decision about putting him to sleep. DH was visiting him in the hospital when he called to tell me that we needed to decide. I couldn't believe that there wasn't anything we could do, but when I got to the hospital and saw my dog, I knew we had to let him go. People had to told me that you just know, and it is so true.

Your kitty will let you know. I am so, so sorry. Enjoy every moment you have left with her.

[Kopper]

Thanks for checking in. She is still pretty much the same. We are going away this weekend and I'm worried about her but my mom will be taking care of her. She lived with my parents for three years while I was in school so she knows and loves them. I'm still in denial everything though. She is still acting like herself so I know we have a little time.

[Kopper]

Yesterday Maxine passed away. On Saturday night she climbed into my office chair and by yesterday midmorning she had still not left that spot. She did get up and walk very slowly to the kitchen to sit on the chair in the sun but we knew it was time. DH was gone Friday and Saturday and left again this morning. I didn't want to be alone when it was time so we decided that it was best to left her go when he was home. The vet said her liver and kidneys were shutting down. Her eyes, gums ears and skin were so yellow. We were all there in the room with her. My parents were able to be there too. Maxine lived with them for 3.5 years while I was in college. It was peaceful and quick and we all got to say goodbye. DH actually administered the medication while the vet held the IV in place. We would have had to wait several more hours for a tech to be able to do it since it was Sunday and the office was closed.

I already miss her terribly and find myself looking for her around the corners. I know she is gone but I can't help myslef from thinking I might see her. It's kind of funny but I already miss her annoying habits too. When I sat on the couch this morning I thought of how she won't be resting on the arm this evening. She will never again try to run into my bedroom when the door is ajar. She won't be begging for water at the bathroom sinks. She won't try and nurse in my lap.

RIP Maxine. I love you.

[ignutzz]

My sincerest condolences that you are going through this heartwrenching event.

Having gone through this less than a year ago, I completely understand expecting Maxine to be there, doing her thing. It gets easier but you'll probably always think of her. I've found it really helpful to have pictures of my furball around and DH and I talk about him often.

All the best to you and your family.

[diam124]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[jesvet]

I'm so sorry Kopper. I am glad she communicated to you that she was ready and that you gave her such a loving, peaceful last gift.

[fuzzy]

I'm so very sorry for your loss, Kopper.

[Sazoo]

Oh Kopper, I'm so sorry for your loss! :(

[shopaholic]

I'm so sorry about Maxine. You and Maxine will be in my thoughts.

[daener]

I am so sorry for your loss!! Losing a pet is never easy. She was lucky to have you to the end and I admire your strength for being with her when it was time. My thoughts and prayers are going out to you, Maxine and your family.

[greenbunny]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Remember that Maxine is waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge. *hugs*

[lady1297]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I had to put my kitty down a few years ago and remember the pain vividly. I hated doing it but was glad to be there when it happened. I cried for hours that day alone. Still cry about my Maggie sometimes (like now).

RIP Maxine.

[kam]

I'm so sorry for your loss! It sounds like it was as peaceful as it could have been and you did everything you could to let your cat be at peace. Again, I'm so sorry.

[MLA]

What a wonderful cat mom Maxine had in you! You obviously loved her dearly, and I'm sure she had a wonderful life with you. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[MrsD108]

Condolences. :(

[AHammer]

i'm so sorry for your loss. I know what it's like, I lost my childhood cat just last June. I think you made the right decision to be with her when she passed. I know I am happy I was there to hold my Sunshine so she wouldn't be scared or alone. Maxine was lucky to have you as a mom.

My condolences to you.