tubal ligation or vasectomy?

[pixielou]

ok - here is the theoretical situation. . .

you and dh are in total 100% agreement that you have had as many kids as you will want and you both know that you will never change your minds. you are both happy with that decision. as a result, you want PERMANENT SURGICAL BIRTH CONTROL.

which do you opt for - tubal ligation for you or vasectomy for dh?

i want to know what *you* - the woman - thinks is best. i want to know what you thik you would opt for - not what you and your dh decide upon. this may be different from what your dh thinks, and it could be different from the choice you end up making. (which is why i am only giving the 2 options for this poll).

[LyLMyssChaos]

I picked tubal litigation because it is the only way I can be sure that there wouldn't be a chance to get pregnant again. Cruds, if I could, I'd opt for a hysterectomy!

[pixielou]

I picked tubal litigation because it is the only way I can be sure that there wouldn't be a chance to get pregnant again. Cruds, if I could, I'd opt for a hysterectomy!

i agree with you 100%!

~pixie

[miaclear]

I vote for vasectomy. From my understanding it's a lot easier all around and can be more easily reveresed (I'm a never say never kind of gal ;) ).

[littlemia]

Vasectomy. It's much less invasive, so the risks of complications are less. Plus, there's an increased risk of ectopic pregnancy if a woman becomes pregnant after a tubal ligation (unfortunately neither procedure works 100% of the time, although it's pretty close).

[nuhmah]

vasectomy... it is day surgery, low risk, and it is reversible if we would ever change our minds. All of DH's brothers have gotten the snip, and he is planning to do the same when we are ready.

[Toonces]

Vasectomy. It's much less invasive, so the risks of complications are less. Plus, there's an increased risk of ectopic pregnancy if a woman becomes pregnant after a tubal ligation (unfortunately neither procedure works 100% of the time, although it's pretty close).

ITA.

[Tracie]

Vasectomy, for the reasons already stated.

I know that this is a poll about what we, as women, think, and that's how I voted, but DH has been saying since probably before we got married once we have our two kids, he's getting snipped!

[IrishMeg]

Vasectomy. I wouldn't even consider tubal ligation unless there was a medical reason why he couldn't get a vasectomy.

[Neen]

vasectomy... it is day surgery, low risk, and it is reversible if we would ever change our minds. All of DH's brothers have gotten the snip, and he is planning to do the same when we are ready.

A vasectomy is not easily reversed. They can't just go in and "undo" what they snipped. It involves micro surgery and finding a doctor to do it is not easy. Plus it can cost upwards of $2000 to have it reversed and it's not covered by insurance. It's just like reversing a tubal ligation, it's not an easy procedure. If you go the route of permenant birth control, it should be considered just that, permenant.

[jennylou]

Vasectomy.

[Sevilla]

Essure method of tubal ligation (non-surgical) is what i would choose if we were to go that route.

[pixielou]

Essure method of tubal ligation (non-surgical)

what is that?

[Sarah]

I think they put a small coil into your fallopian tubes, and it grows scar tissue over it, blocking them. I think this is way less expensive and invasive, and virtually 100% effective.

[QueenDillyDally]

A vasectomy is not easily reversed. They can't just go in and "undo" what they snipped. It involves micro surgery and finding a doctor to do it is not easy. Plus it can cost upwards of $2000 to have it reversed and it's not covered by insurance. It's just like reversing a tubal ligation, it's not an easy procedure. If you go the route of permenant birth control, it should be considered just that, permenant.

Actually, it can cost $15,000+ to get a reversal! :eek: I looked into this a long time ago (as DH was snipped before he was divorced and we met) and they do not guarantee it either. And the longer that it stays reversed, the worse the chances for the reversal are to work.

Just like Neen states, consider either procedure irreversible and make sure that is what BOTH of you REALLY want. Not just because you want him to have a vasectomy because it is easier on you. You never know if there will be a change in your lives and you are no longer with your SO/spouse and you or he may want another child with someone else...

Luckily, I have decided I don't want any children ever, so it is no longer a factor for us. So, in the end, it is good that he had a vasectomy.

ETA - And lucky for DH's ex that DH got the vasectomy (instead of her getting "fixed") because she now has TWO more children by another man!!! Guess, she just didn't want more children with DH!!! :eek:

[Julss05]

Essure method of tubal ligation (non-surgical) is what i would choose if we were to go that route.

Me too. Is this available yet? First time I read about it a few years ago, it wasn't. My second choice would be the vasectomy. DH is not too keen on vasectomy but my mom had a tubal ligation and it took her a while to recover with some complications so we agreed to go with the less invasive option.

Edited to add that I found out my local Planned Parenthood offers Essure which is good to know. Some of the risks sound similiar to that of an IUD so of course that would have to be weighed against the vasectomy.

[DallasLady]

We used to say Vasectomy and I voted that way (for the reasons most of you stated) but now I doubt we will do either. It's just so permanent, I don't think we could commit to that.

[suzubeane]

FWIW, for some time now, Tubal Ligation has been done laparoscopicly; it does not require invasive surgery anymore, and is done on an outpatient basis.

[melissafromnc]

Birth control? HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.

Couldn't resist there, pixielou. Definitely vasectomy. Even out the damage, I say. ;)

[Pookie]

If I were to consider the surgical route, I'd say V for DH. Afterall 9 months of pg and labor would be little in comparison. DH has actually offered and even tried to talk me into him doing it when we're done having kids. Personally, I'm too scared of doing something permanent, so I tell him no way for either of us. I'll probably end up getting an IUD.

[Neen]

FWIW, for some time now, Tubal Ligation has been done laparoscopicly; it does not require invasive surgery anymore, and is done on an outpatient basis.

It may not be cut you open any more, but having my tubal was far worse than giving birth to my children (even worse than the root canal I had to have!). For a tubal you are given general anesthetic, where with a Vas. it's local. They pump your stomach full of gas so they can see every thing (and they don't have really any way to get it back out). At lest 2 (some times 3 or 4) small incisions are made for the instruments, plus what they may have to put in your vagina. Believe me, it was pretty invasive and I was out of for at least 3-4 days before I could even walk normally and not have to take Rx pain pills.

[pixielou]

Birth control? HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.

melissa glad i could add some humor to your day!!!

~pixie

[suzubeane]

It may not be cut you open any more, but having my tubal was far worse than giving birth to my children.I'm sorry you had such a bad experience, but I don't think it should be presented as "typical" for anyone reading here who might be deciding whether or not to have a tubal.

[Neen]

I know my sister had the same experience as I did when she had her tubal. I know of several other women who have had the same experience too (and not from the same doctor) after having a tubal done, which is an invasive surgery. When doctors mess with your insides, it's invasive. I would consider my surgery to be typical.

[chandy]

I had a tubal after DS was born, but he was born via scheduled C-section, so the doctor was already in there. If I hadn't had a C, then DH would have been snipped.

[suzubeane]

I would consider my surgery to be typical.I don't. And neither would a few women I know. Just putting that out there for anyone currently considering this, and collecting info.

[kazata]

I don't. And neither would a few women I know. Just putting that out there for anyone currently considering this, and collecting info.

Curious what you would consider a typical experience after lap? I think the 3-4 days recovery is pretty standard after a lap. In addition, the carbon dioxide gas is generally considered to be uncomfortable after a lap. And reactions to general anesthesia can vary (for example, the combo with the carbon dioxide can make you nauseous following the procedure). Remember too, that you have pre-op procedures - for example fasting prior to general anesthesia. True, the incisions are small and therefore you don't have the 6-8weeks recovery that you would with a larger cut - but they can still do invasive surgery through small openings. I have no idea how this compares to the invasiveness of a vasectomy, but I don't think Neen is completely off-base with her description, based on my experience with a lap (not for tubal ligation though).

[suzubeane]

... but I don't think Neen is completely off-base with her description, based on my experience with a lap (not for tubal ligation though).I never implied that she was completely off-base, just that it was not typical to consider a laparoscopic procedure "worse than giving birth." I've had two laparoscopic procedures; the general anesthetic is a light one, and I was up and around the same day - not the three or four that neen described.

As you say, everyone is different. I just wouldn't want anyone considering this procedure (now or in the future, since these threads stick around and come up in searches) to take one person's really bad experience as the only outcome should she choose to have a tubal.

[pixielou]

neen and suzubean thank you both for posting your experiences with lap surgery. it's good to hear a variety of opinions on the surgery - both the good and the worst case. i am considering a tubal after #2 is born. though i have not done a thing to research it yet. i vaguely mentioned it to my ob at a recent appointment.

it's interesting - anyone i've mentioned a tubal to - they all look at me like i'm crazy and ask me why my dh is refusing "to get snipped". and i guess this poll confirms that i'm in the minority - that i would prefer to have a tubal. who knows what we will end up doing - if anything at all.

~pixie

[jmvan74]

Personally, if we decided to go the permanant route, it would be vasectomy for DH. If I am carrying and birthing our children, he can certainly get snipped. I had a c/s with DS #1 and will have one with DS#2 and still would not opt for a tubal.

[Nikkid]

After having 4 children (3 which were whoops's) we decided to do permanent b/c. DH was initially going to have a v but due to problems he was having down there I decided I would do it. I just had it done in May and I was very surprised how easy it was. I only had one incision below my belly button and I did have some cramping when I woke but all in all it went really well. I had it on a Friday and went back to work on Monday. I do agree that the gas they pump you up with is very uncomfortable afterwards but other than that I thought it was worth it. What I really liked about it is that it is affective immediately whereas with a v you have to wait a few months to make sure he is sterile.

I know not everyone has a successful story as mine but I wanted to share that some do go smoothly. You want to make sure you have your Dr go over the procedure with you first so you know exactly what to expect.

[Mommy2ml]

We're doing an IUD for several years... once we're getting twards 40 and we're absolutely positive about wanting no more, we're already in agreement that DH is getting snipped.

[Renrel]

I would go with a vasectime unless I had a c-section and the doctor indicated it would be easier/safer to do the tubal than to do the Vas. given that I was already taking whatever risks/pains that came with the C-section. My understanding is the Vas is a easier surgury and I since after all deal with all therest pain, mess and discomfort that may go along with sex and child bearing it seems fair that DH take on this one.

But my understanding is that under Jewish law men are not suppose to have this surgury absent their own lives being endangered. They are under orders to be fruitful and multiply, while we woman are just asked to help, not require to. (The benefits of being a second class citzen for a good deal of history is that you are sometime overlooked in regards to big commandments like this.) And there is also that overly broad interpretation of not spilling seed. I don't think this would stop me from choosing this method, and I am guessing only those with an orthodox intepretation of Jewish law would make a big deal about it, but it does give me a faint sense of guilt.

[Mommy2ml]

Renrel... I think strictly/traditionally speaking any form of b/c is against orthodox way of thinking... other than NFP and such.

IMHO everyone needs to simply look within themselves and do what they believe is best for them. :)

[jokerkitty]

I picked tubal litigation because it is the only way I can be sure that there wouldn't be a chance to get pregnant again. Cruds, if I could, I'd opt for a hysterectomy!And go through early menopause?! You're crazy!

I'd have a tubal if I had a C, but DH still wants a vasectomy, just because he thinks it's cool. :rolleyes:

[Chelsea524]

And go through early menopause?! You're crazy!

Its my understanding that unless you have everything removed(ovaries and uterus) they usually only remove the uterus and thus you still ovulate each month, not causing early menopause, my mother had a hysterectomy 15 yrs ago and is just now at the age of 50 seeing the signs of menopause.

[Footyprints]

What I always thought (and what we had planned to do) - tubal ligation during the c/s