Pregnant Grad Students-Let's Support Each Other!

[herewego]

Hi Ladies-

I'm not sure if there has been a group like this in the past but I wanted to find other women who are pregnant and in graduate school so that we can support each other and share concerns, advice, experience etc. as we move into a new academic year.

ME: Herewego, 29
DH: 29
Grad Program: Masters in Social Work (MSW)
Grad Date: Early May, 2007
TTC: We weren't!
EDD: April 1, 2007

I got my BFP about 4 weeks ago and was completely caught off guard. DH and I were not planning on trying until next summer after I graduate, so needless to say we are still shocked and trying to wrap our heads around this sudden life change.

I know that we will get through everything okay, but I can't help worrying-namely about being too tired/exhausted to study, having to compromise my quality of work, being judged as not being a "serious student" since I obviously won't be recruiting for jobs after graduation, having complications with my pregnancy which will require hospital time, bed rest etc., early/late delivery w/complications, having m/s in the middle of class, not being able to find a group (we have a lot of group work) because people think that I won't pull my weight once baby comes along...and I could go on and on.

I'm also worried about not enjoying the first month of my baby's life because I will be so stressed about finishing school. This is certainly NOT how I planned to become a new mother.

And then there is the timing question. When do I approach student services & my professors to let them know I may need special accomodations (especially second semester as my due date approaches?) When do I tell my internship supervisors? (Social workers are in a field placement part time.)

It's just a lot to think about alone, so I wanted to see if there are others out there who are in the same boat.

Please share your story!

[Aunt Liv]

Just wanted to pop in and wish you luck. I wasn't in your situation, but I know that there are quite a few out there who were. You'll do great!

H&H 9 months to you!

[christy1010]

Although I was not in your situation when I was in the MSW program, I did have a classmate who was pregnant during our last year of the MSW program.

Feel free to PM me and I might have some suggestions. Also there is a Social Work Thread in the Careers/Jobs. Would you be willing to share where you are going to school, if it by anychance is the same MSW program I went to, I might have some contacts for you.

Good luck!

[dbers]

Hey there! My friend pointed me in your direction - because I was pregnant during my first year of my MSW studies! I finished my first year in July, 05 (I was in the accelerated program which went through the summer) and had my baby in August. Then I took one semester off, and took classes part time the folllowing semester. Iwill be starting my second year full time in September. It's been a long road, but totally doable I think. I actually found my professors and supervisor to be very supportive. I was upfront with my supervisor before I even started - it was so early in the pregnancy that I hadn't told anyone - but I felt she needed to know incase there was any sort of conflict (I was working with domestic violence victims).. she was so great. As far as professors - some were very interested, some could care less - but as long as I did my work and participated, they treated me like everyone else.

I dealt with morning sickness my first semester - having to tell clients when I started to show - worried about going early or being placed on bedrest - all of it! Let me know if you have any questions for me - I'm happy to answer them the best I can..

Oh, and congrats!!

[losthoosier]

I am no longer pregnant had a beautiful DD in March. I have one quarter left in my MBA program.

Some pointers I can give you as I did two quarters pregnant and one quarter with a newborn.

Take it easy if you can I only took 1 class each quarter as I was working full time and it became way to much. I was too tired.

I actually timed delivery good I went into labor my final night of class and had the baby 5 days before the final. I went to class having contractions and let the professor know. I had to go to class as I needed the assignment. I ended up having a c-section as was studying during the recovery process. The nurses were laughing but I had to take the final. The day of the final I got rushed to the ER as they thought I developed a blood clot in my lung. I didn't and took the final on time.

Classes with a newborn was harder.. you are lacking sleep. I had a great support system my mom and then my sister. I had a month of help.

I had the same professor both quarters. The first quarter I didn't tell him, but the second I did in case I had the baby early

If you have any questions feel free to pm me maybe I can give would pointers

[herewego]

Hey Ladies-

Wow! Thanks for the advice & support. I really appreciate you sharing your stories.

Aunt_Liv-Thanks for the good wishes!

christy1010-I appreciate your kind words. I did find the Social Workers board in the Careers section and may post there too just to see if any others have been in my situation. I also have a classmate from my first year who had a baby over Spring Break, so I will definitely be getting in touch with her to see how she handled things!

dbers-Thanks for sharing your story. Your DD is precious! I did consider taking my second semester off, but by the time the baby comes I will be SO CLOSE to finishing-so I think I will just power through that last month. Plus, I'm not sure how taking time off would work with my field placement. I definitely plan on telling my supervisor soon after I start-if only because I will be showing soon (I will be 12wks when field begins...) BTW, my first placement was also in DV. A very moving field huh?

losthoosier-OMG! I can't believe everything you went through and you still managed to take your final on time! Amazing-and very inspirational! Thanks for the tips..I don't doubt that I will be exhausted...I'm hoping that I will have the same kind of support that you did from my mom & MIL. We'll see!

Thanks again!

[pg_jess]

Wow. My story sounds almost exactly the same as yours, herewego!

Me: Jess, 28
DH: Andy, 29
Grad Program: EdD (Educational Doctorate) at USC
Grad Date: May 2008 (coursework finishes August 2007, then dissertation)
TTC: we weren't trying either!
EDD: April 4, 2007


We were planning to get pregnant next August, after I finished my coursework. My doctorate program is incredibly structured in that I have no control over the number of classes I take each semester. If I take a semester off, I have to wait an entire year to pick up where I left off. There's no jumping in and out, no flexibility.

So when I got that BFP on August 2nd, I was literally hysterical. I panicked. I wasn't mentally prepared for a positive result on the test. I was only taking it to rule out pregnancy because I knew I couldn't be pregnant. Guess I was wrong.

I have a lot of the same worries. Mostly I'm worried about the spring semester. How much class am I going to miss? How flexible are my professors going to be? How distracted am I going to be? I currently have a 4.0 GPA after my first year and I don't want to give that up. When do I tell my professors? What happens if there are complications? I'm not so much worried about the dissertation part, just getting through the coursework.

There are days when I know this will work, and then other days when I'm convinced it won't. I am hellbent on finishing with my class in May of 2008, whatever it takes. I just hope my body cooperates.

Oh, and in spite of the fact that all of this happened a year too early and caught us completely off guard, DH and I couldn't be happier about being pregnant!

[herewego]

Welcome Jess-(glad you joined me over here!)

We do have very similar stories...and seem to share most of the same concerns. I too am hellbent on graduating with my class and will do whatever it takes to finish. I just hope that this pregnancy is relatively easy and maybe, just maybe I will go full term (even late!) and buy myself a bit more time before baby's arrival!

We are still shocked, but also feel very blessed. I know that DH and I will get through this together, but it's still so scary!

Have you thought about when you will share with classmates, professors etc? We will both be about 12wks in mid-September...just a few weeks after school starts. I'm sure I will start to show by then, or shortly thereafter, so I anticipate it being hard to hide! And honestly, I don't really want to hide it anymore after the first trimester...

Let's try to keep each other posted!

[Elenna]

I'm not in grad school, but I am going to college full time. I have all the same worries as you. The worst worries are about not being able to finish the fall semester because of bedrest, complications, etc and not being taken seriously as a student because I'm pregnant.

I got pregnant right before the beginning of the summer semester. I told my professor I was pregnant as soon as I started feeling nauseated in class and had to leave to eat something or else. Otherwise I wouldn't have said anything. I'm going to tell my professors this fall semester because of my worry about not being able to complete the semester and I want to know what my options will be if that happens.

I hope you all don't mind if I lurk in your thread.

[spps]

I was in a similar situation when I was pregnant with DS. I recieved my masters in computer science in May 2005, and DS was born in June 2005. I found that my profs were pretty understanding, and the one who had the pregnant wife even more so. He left me hand in assignments and take the final at my conviences. My SIL had her DS during her last semester of college. She went into labor a few hours before her last final, finished as much as she could and ran to the hospital.

[pg_jess]

I'm kind of in a strange situation with my program. We're a cohort model, but we switched cohorts after the first year. In the first year we all took the same core classes, but starting this summer we broke off into different cohorts based on our concentrations. So basically, with the exception of one girl from my original cohort, I'm with all new people. We had one six-week class together earlier this summer and will start classes together again a week from today.

I think I'll basically just let my classmates and professors figure things out for themselves this semester. I don't anticipate too many problems. I don't plan to hide anything though. If I were with my old classmates from last year (which I was when I found out, but it was too early to share), I would definitely tell them because they qualify more as friends than classmates.

I'm more worried about the spring semester. I will probably try to email my professors before class starts to let them know of my "condition" and due date. I'm hoping they'll be flexible with me, but only time will tell.

There are some really pushy and competitive people in my concentration group and honestly I'm more worried about them questioning me. I can completely see them questioning my ability to be pregnant and survive in the program, and some of them have the potential to be really nasty about it. I've only spent 6 weeks with these people, but they really didn't make a favorable impression. :)

[pg_jess]

I had a big weekend in terms of school. We had to spend all day Saturday at a conference to learn about the dissertation process. I got to see several of my friends from my first year coursework, so I went ahead and told them about the pregnancy (I won't have a class with them again until the spring semester). They were very excited and very supportive of me. But I knew they would be. It's the people in my concentration that I'm worried about.

At any rate, I learned some disturbing information on Saturday. All along I've thought the first two years were coursework only and the third year was the dissertation. Apparently my impression was incorrect. I found out Saturday that 3 of 5 chapters of my dissertation are due April 3, 2007. My due date is April 4. And next summer I will have to take three classes while also passing qualifying exams and defending my dissertation proposal. It's going to be a nightmare.

I'm going to try to get a head start on chapter 2 of my dissertation this fall (it's the literature review section), and my colleague has already offered to help in whatever way she can. I'm thinking about asking her to be on my dissertation committee.

At any rate, it was an absolutely overwhelming day and I know now that I'm in for a lot of work both just before and just after the baby arrives!

[dbers]

I did consider taking my second semester off, but by the time the baby comes I will be SO CLOSE to finishing-so I think I will just power through that last month I think this is absolutely the right decision.. it worked out for me that I gave birth right after a semester ended.. for you - I would definitely push through and finish that degree!!

[herewego]

Hey Ladies-

Happy to see that we've had a few more people post since the thread was started! (Sorry I have been absent, been on vacation!)

Elenna- I think we all share the same fears as you do about not being able to finish a semester, or having complications that will interrupt our coursework. Pregnancy is so unpredictable and it's scary not being able to plan or know exactly what will happen. I guess just knowing what your options are in the event that you deliver during finals etc. will be very important and will help you feel a little more empowered during all this uncertainty. I don't know about you, but I feel like if I plan as much as I can, I will feel much better about the unknowns!

pg_jess-Yikes...heavy stuff about having sections of your dissertation ready around your due date. Do you think getting an extension will be an option? Also, do you have set time to work on your dissertation, or will you be doing that on the side in addition to your normal coursework? That is certainly a lot to juggle. The only thing that I can think of that would give me comfort is knowing that at least its not the entire complete dissertation that is due. Will you have an opportunity to make revisions to the sections that are due later in case you aren't satisfied with how they turn out?

As for me, I'm getting more and more anxious about school starting in less than two weeks now. I've already started doing some reading in preparation and I'm just not feeling motivated! I did recently find out that my field advisor at my internship is pg and is due in October, so she will be out on maternity leave for almost my entire first semester there. That being said, it gave me some relief knowing that she will totally understand me being pregnant and will maybe even be excited/empathetic etc. once I share the news. Having another pg person in the office makes me feel a bit more comfortable with everything.

Everyone hang in there and keep us posted!

[pg_jess]

herewego - glad to see you back! Yes, the dissertation stuff is a little scary. But I have a very good friend and colleague who recently completed her dissertation. She's going to help me get a head start on things this fall. I'll be finding out by the end of September who my faculty chair will be. At that point I plan to email him/her and let them know I'm pg and figure out what my options are.

Working on the dissertation is part of my coursework in the spring semester. I have one additional class, but it's research methods and shouldn't be too demanding in terms of assignments or reading. I'm just going to have to be really strict in scheduling my homework time at home and try to stay on top of things as much as possible. Right now the thought exhausts me, but I'm hoping once I get to the second trimester I'll get a nice burst of energy and get all organized and motivated. :)

It's nice that your internship advisor is also pregnant. Hopefully that means she'll be sympathetic to your position! Good luck with your classes once they start (mine started last week already!) and know I'll be right there with you trying to slog through reading! :)

[herewego]

Jess-Sending you goodluck vibes with your faculty advisor. I feel like having a good advisor will be key to our experience this coming year as pg students. If they are sympathetic and ammenable to working with us, our experiences will be so much better! I hope your advisor is a woman! :)

Good luck getting the semester off on the right start. I'm planning on relishing this last week of freedom!

[pg_jess]

I was doing okay until I started a new job a couple of weeks ago. Between trying to learn a new job, exhausting days, first trimester fatigue, and no time at work to read like my old job, I'm quickly falling behind. When I get home from work it's all I can do to stay awake long enough to eat dinner. Forget reading.

I'm really ready for the first trimester to be done (officially I guess it ends tomorrow because I'll be 12 weeks, unless I have to live through the 12th week...I can't even keep track anymore). I hate feeling behind all the time. I'm really worried about what my midterms will be like!

In spite of school worries, I'm still loving being pregnant!

[Megande]

I know this is an old thread, but I just ran across it while searching for something else. I am pregnant, and am currently on baby #2 while in grad school, so I fit into this thread. Barely, though, I just defended my dissertation today (!!!) :) :) :D :D

I got pregnant with DS#1 while in my third year of graduate school (I'm now at the end of my 5th). I wrote my dissertation while he napped and after he went to sleep, so I am well aware of the particular challenges associated with being pregnant or having a baby in academia. I am also in a almost soley male-dominated field (Economics), so I really feel like no one understood what I was going through. That all said, PhD programs especially are such unique things, I'd be happy to talk about my experiences. I am also a big LJer, if you want to know more, you can check out my LJ (and I have another Dr. Mommy/CCer on my friend's list).

[pride&prejudice]

I know this is an old thread, but I just ran across it while searching for something else. I am pregnant, and am currently on baby #2 while in grad school, so I fit into this thread. Barely, though, I just defended my dissertation today (!!!) :) :) :D :D

I got pregnant with DS#1 while in my third year of graduate school (I'm now at the end of my 5th). I wrote my dissertation while he napped and after he went to sleep, so I am well aware of the particular challenges associated with being pregnant or having a baby in academia. I am also in a almost soley male-dominated field (Economics), so I really feel like no one understood what I was going through. That all said, PhD programs especially are such unique things, I'd be happy to talk about my experiences. I am also a big LJer, if you want to know more, you can check out my LJ (and I have another Dr. Mommy/CCer on my friend's list).


OMG, I was so happy to see this thread, even though I realize how old it is. I might have to join you over in LJ. I'm currently working on my master's in Structural Engineering part-time, working full time and 16 (17 tomorrow!) weeks pregnant. I was sitting in class last night thinking about how I'm going to make it since no one in the program know yet!