2 under 2?? [Archive] - ConstantChatter

elly

07-13-2005, 11:43 AM

Hi :) My DD will be 14 months when her sister arrives in September. My DD is too young to understand it all so I know I can't really prepare her for it. I'm going to try to nurse our newborn while reading a book to my 1st DD. I can't speak from experience.....maybe other moms will post soon. :)

Here are a few ideas I've seen friends try: buy the older sibling a gift "from the new baby" given the day they meet? give the older sibling his/her own baby, stroller, etc. so that they can copy what you are doing with their new baby. Let dad take care of the new baby as much as possible so that older brother/sister gets "mommy time" too. I love our bjorn so I'm hoping that I can wear our new baby while playing/spending time with DD #1.

dana,
my dd can go upstairs on her own but not down. i will prob. just take them down one at a time until she learns. we have gates everywhere so i can leave my dd downstairs and run up to get the baby from a pack and play, swing, bouncy seat, etc. we also have a play room which is baby proof so i feel comfortable leaving dd (1 yr old) in there while i go to the bathroom. i am planning on just always taking one with me & making sure the other one is safe. we have a lot of baby equipment so that will help alot when i need to put our newborn down. :) haha, i'm sure this won't be as easy as i'm imagining but i have to stay positive!! i've heard the 1st year is the hardest.

ce_Kathleen

07-13-2005, 11:50 AM

Wow that is awesome that there are so many of us in the 2 under 2 mommies to be!

I hope some experienced mommies can chime in here and give us some tips.

breakfasthill I never thought about the hospital. I guess I thought my mom would be home with DS while I was in the hospital but I would like it if DS could come visit. But I wonder if he would be too disruptive to others?

dana b I am not sure about all the logistics of 2 (obviously :D ) but I think for going down stairs I would carry the older DC and then go back up for the younger DC? I don't know if that is the best solution or not! :confused:

elly I like your idea of giving the older DC a gift from the new baby! I will have to remember that one.

linda_loo

07-13-2005, 12:48 PM

like how do you go downstairs with 2 babies, what if the older one can't really get down stairs yet. how do you go to the bathroom? can you ever leave the house with all these different nap schedules? and routines, i'd love to hear about routines.

I think we pretty much camped out in one room for much of our days at first. It was hard for me, because our youngest was born in November, right before a very snowy and icy winter. We have a pretty steep driveway, and we were housebound a lot, which was maddening. By the time spring came, things were really into a pretty good routine, and truthfully I have sort of forgotten the tough moments of those first few months.

For bathroom trips and showering, I guess that overall, there was more unattended crying and there was more use of the babysitter devices (dd#2 napped in the swing every day until she was at least 4 months old and has watched far too much TV). My oldest drank a lot of chocolate milk and snuggled up against one side of me (while watching Dora), while I nursed the baby on the other side. I distinctly remember a few days where we just pulled the couch cusions onto the floor and laid there together.

We divide and conquer a lot more than we ever did before, dh taking one kid while I take the other. We all had to change how we did things; everything. When we had one kid, we doted all our attention on her, and we allowed a lot of time for ourselves. We got out, but not as much as before. I used to take my oldest to Gymboree classes, and I don't bother with something like that anymore. If both of my kids can't enjoy something, we don't go out of our way to do it. With more children, the attention is split up more and there is less time for ourselves. Less sleep too. ;)

From what I can remember, my big melt-down issue with managing the two of them, was the supplemental feeder that I used for 4 weeks. My oldest kept pulling at it, and it was hard enough to manage, without her intervention. (nursing was an emotional thing for me as well, so that was a contributing factor to my short fuse with her messing with the tubes)

How did you introduce the two? How did you handle nursing one while the other needs attention. What products were a must. How did you handle the time in the hospital -(how long should other baby visit)

It's been a while, as I only have 1 under 2 right now - my youngest is 19 months and my oldest is 3 years... dd#2 was born at 11:30 pm, and we were home by the next afternoon. So, my oldest did not visit us at the hospital, instead, my parents stayed with her. At first, she was a little interested in the baby, and eventually annoyed with her. This is from when the baby was 1 month old:

http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b3cc07b3127cce9f111a50687e00000016108AcNWTFu3ZM_

It's much better now. There are some of the predictable fights over a favorite toy, but they spend most of their days playing with each other, wrestling and laughing. The most amazing thing is how much the younger one talks. Recently, she has started blurting out things like "I want it," and "I'm done."

I can't really think of any must-have stuff, other than a carrier you like, a diaper bag that holds enough for both, gates, a stroller you like ... oh, and diapers/wipes in every room of the house. If your kids use paci's, pick a different brand for #2, it helps keep things straight.

tray622

07-13-2005, 01:17 PM

Mine will be about 17 months apart and I am FREAKED OUT! It is nice to hear some advice because ever since I found out I am pg, everything makes me question how I will handle it with 2 :) Like dd has a cold and had a not so good night... all I could think was, "and we are doing this again SOON... nice!" lol

Linda Your little girls were so cute in that pic!

mommycal

07-13-2005, 01:22 PM

I'm due in OCT w/#2 and they'll be almost 21 months apart. Thanks for starting this thread. Looking forward to the vents/support and great advice. :)

AMC

07-13-2005, 07:06 PM

**subscribing**

mine will be 18mo apart when #2 is due in Dec.

Thanks Linda for the post. That pic is SO cute. :D

DanaLynn

07-13-2005, 10:03 PM

subscribing

My son will be 18 months when #2 is born (which is in 10 days). I need all the help I can get.

jki

07-13-2005, 10:37 PM

Another subscriber.

DD and DS are less than 13 months apart.... I need all the help I can get, too!

dana b

07-13-2005, 11:05 PM

thanks linda for the tips. as much as we'd like a boy, i'd love my for my dd to have a sister close in age.

there's jki, i'm gonna be stalking her for tips, too ;)

TrulyBlessed

07-14-2005, 10:34 PM

Subscribing...DS is due the day after our DD birthday. Hoping to gain & share some ideas from this group. :)

ce_Kathleen

07-15-2005, 05:22 AM

Well it looks like a lot of us are going to be dealing with the 2 under 2 issues.

QOTD: how does your DH feel about having another so soon?

My DH is very happy but at the same time very worried! :( He doesn't think he will be a good father to 2 and he doesn't think he will be able to handle 2. He is a SAHD so I think he is just unsure of how capable he will be and I totally understand and I just keep trying to reassure him. But then he has these moments where he is just so excited to have another and can't wait for DS to have a baby brother/sister. He said he is more worried about #2 b/c he knows what to expect now that we have DS.

Journey

07-15-2005, 03:03 PM

I am not sure if I can help or not, but I definetely know how you all feel. My son was 19 months old when my twins were born.

I had a C on Friday afternoon and we went home on Sunday. SIL took Will for the weekend, and they came to visit us just before we left the hospital. DS was definetely confused, but he was really saddened when he woke up from nap and the twins were at the house. Perhaps he though we were going to leave them at "that other place." I spent the pregnancy showing him my belly and telling him there were babies in there, but at that age, I don't think it clicks.

My mom came and stayed with us for the first 2 weeks. DS was pretty needy, so I spent a lot of time holding him and a baby (which is where Mom was really useful with dishes and laundry, etc.) Nursing is much more difficult. There is no quiet time anymore, so I feel bad that the twins don't get the quiet nursing that Will got. Half the time I am walking aroung the house with a baby attached, and they get more bottles than I want to admit, but you do what you can.

I spend as much one on one time as I can with Will. When Nate and Catie are napping, doing tummy time, etc. The babies go to bed an hour before Will, so that is his time too, for reading, playing, singing songs, whatever he wants. Perhaps the most important thing is to try and prevent your oldest child from feeling neglected or replaced. Sometimes it helps to have DH stay with the babies (or vice versa) so I can run to the store with Will, or take him for ice cream. (And if you are lucky enough to get the kids to nap at the same time, then you get ME time...which I am enjoying right now!! :p )

Finding time for things can be a little challenging. They first couple months while we were still adjusting to each other, I showered when Will went down for a nap because the babies were usually sleeping then, too. Not I shower during the babies' first nap while Will watches Sesame Street.

Nate and Catie are 5.5 months now, and Will turned 2 last month. They are really starting to interact now. Will loves to play with Nate and Catie, and they love to watch him being goofy. They giggle at him, and that makes him feel pretty important. I am not even sure Will remembers being an only child. He still has days where he is needy, but I think that is normal at his age, even without little siblings.

If I had the chance, knowing what I know now, to go back and space the kids farther apart, I wouldn't do it. I love watching them interact, and it makes me smile to know they will always have each other to play with and hopefully talk to as they get older. The time goes so fast, and they will be used to each other and playing together before you know it. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love the look on people's faces just before they say "My! You sure have your hands full!" (And we get that A LOT!!) But mostly I love watching Will give Sissy and Natie kisses and hugs.

It was a big adjustment, and we are stll adjusting in some ways, but it is worth it. Best wishes to you all!!

-Mariah Proud SAHM to William, Nathan, and Catheryn

Nate and Catie 2 months, Will 21 months
http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5da26b3127cce915b98eb39ea00000016108AbsWThy4aNs

dana b

07-15-2005, 03:33 PM

kathleen that's funny, your dh and i think exactly alike! my dh is dying for another one and not really thinking about the logistics of having 2 and i'm the one who's more hesitant because it will be me at home with them all day.

journey thanks so much for sharing, that was an awesome post.
If I had the chance, knowing what I know now, to go back and space the kids farther apart, I wouldn't do it.
this is what i really wanted to know, but was afraid to ask ;) adorable picture, btw.

tray622

07-15-2005, 06:14 PM

Journey Thanks for sharing your experience! Your children are just precious :)

QOTD: Although we are adults and know what could happen when bc isnt used, this baby is very unexpected! I think it is taking time for us to hit the "excited" part but my DH has always wanted more kids while I havent been sure. The excited feelings are defintely coming more now than the surprised/freaked out feelings :D

elly

07-15-2005, 09:11 PM

QOTD: my dh is excited and even talks about a 3rd occasionally. i don't think he realizes how tough it is going to be when #2 arrives. :) he is wonderful and a huge help though....i would never have agreed to have them so close if he weren't such a good dad.

ce_Kathleen

07-18-2005, 10:47 AM

Journey Thank you so much for posting that! Everything you said is exactly why we wanted our children so close together but then we were actually got the BFP it did kind of scare us! You have made us feel much more confident in our decision.

JuliaK

07-18-2005, 03:34 PM

Well, I don't know how much help I'll be but my boys are 18 months apart and most of the time, I find myself saying that it's not as hard as I thought it would be. I guess the thing that helped the most was that DS #1 got a crash course in independence. For 18 months, he was the only one and as a SAHM, he got pretty much all of my attention. By the time my 3rd trimester came around I was too hot, tired and miserable to be carrying DS #1 so he got used to walking rather than being carried. I encouraged him to feed himself pretty much all of his meals, and he began playing independantly while I rested on the couch. I also let him watch A Baby Story and the baby shows on the Discovery Channel so that he would see the coming of a baby in a positive way. When DS #2 was born, DS #1 was pretty much excited to see what all the fuss was about and was actually pretty happy to have his baby. For us, the key with #1 was to start early so that he wouldn't resent his brother all the changes in his life.

Dealing with #2 wasn't terrible but he certainly didn't/doesn't receive the attention his brother got/gets. He gets attention but alot of it is indirect attention. He listens as I read his brother books or he watches as DS#1 dance to toddler cd's but he just can't get the 1 on 1 attention I'd like to give.

Dealing with DH...he needs to help out alot more, he's suffering from sleep deprivation right along with me, dinner isn't quite as good as it used to be and we certainly don't DTD as much as he'd like to but, in the long run, he'll have two healthy young men to mow the lawn andshovel the driveway and wash the car etc...

Trust me, I have my moments, but when the two of them are loving on each other, I'm happy. We're only having two so when I'm done with the diapers and baby food and baby stuff, I'm done. At least until the grandkids come ;)

Sorry I didn't address everything but I'm also suffering from severe brain damage.

Koala_Gurl

08-11-2005, 06:11 PM

Subscribing because I would love to hear stories & advice! I want 2 under 2...and hearing real stories will help! :)

lorbo

08-11-2005, 08:46 PM

i guess i'm part of the 2 under 2...not by much though...DS was supposed to be born in March and was taken by emergency c/s 4 days before his sister turned 2. it's been tough to get used to the 2...the first five weeks were odd-we were running to the hospital 40-50 minutes away every night to see DS and DD's bedtime were all messed up. when we brought DS home, she was beside herself for a couple of weeks-the first few nights home, she'd wake up screaming for me to hold her and try to push her brother away from me. as DS got healthier and healthier, God...they adore each other-anything his sister does gets a smile and she's always loving on him-my hope is that they stay this close for all of their lives-their birthdays will probably always be combined parties (at least for family)...my sister who has 3 kids remarked that the biggest change comes from having only 1 to going to 2(i can't imagine how big that change is going from 1 to a multiples birth ;) ) my mom had 3 kids-i was born just 15 months after my brother and my brother was born just 21 months after my sister-she did it and did a pretty damn good job, so i can hopefully make this work!

ce_Kathleen

08-12-2005, 05:22 AM

lorbo thanks for sharing! At this point I think I just can't imagine having to do everything twice! 2 baths, 2 sets of feedings etc. I know I will get through it but there are times when I really scare myself. In many ways I think that this PG is more unknown than my first!

cshaysharp

08-12-2005, 06:42 AM

This is my first time posting. Funny I'm a little nervous. I am also in the 2 under 2 club. My DD was 18 months when DD #2 was born in May. I was really freaking out about how I was going to manage 2 babies and it hasn't been near as hard as I thought.

The first 2 weeks after we brought Stella home, Sophie was really clingy and whiney. But she slowly got used to having to share my time and she is much better now. Things that helped me were having a dutch door installed to our TV room so I could keep DD contained while I was breastfeeding. I would put on a video for her, read, or she would play or read by herself. But I could see her at all times and didn't have to worry about her getting into trouble.

I also tried to encourage Soph to help in caring for the baby. She helped change diapers, Gave her a passy, sing to her, etc. Now, she will let me know "Lella Poopied!" But by allowing her to help me she doesn't feel left out.

My husband has started helping out more now that we have 2. That has helped tremendously!!! I couldn't imagine doing it all myself. When he's not home, a sling or Bjorn came in very handy.

Although it wasn't in our plan to have our children so close together, I am really glad we did. We are still trying to figure things out with 2, but I can already tell they are going to be very close.

Good luck to you all!

Journey - 3 under the age of 2 :eek: You go girl!!!

ce_Kathleen

08-12-2005, 08:04 AM

cshaysharp Thanks for sharing your story, the more I hear from others the more confident I get!

Question:

Did you move your DC#1 to a toddlerbed/twin bed or did they stay in the crib and for how long?

We would like to not have to buy a second crib and we used our bassinet for the first 3-4 months. DS will be 20-21 months when baby will need to move to the crib but I don't know if he will be ready for a toddler bed (we got my niece's toddler bed since she just moved into a twin).

tray622

08-12-2005, 08:26 AM

cshaysharp Thank you for your story! I need to keep hearing success stories to calm my nerves ;)

ce_kathleen I am speaking from no experience obviously, but my mom gave me advice that I am taking. She always says why put a baby in a toddler bed when they are fine in the crib? Meaning, why would I want to add another stress of having her up and out of bed while I am sleeping or caring for the baby. I plan to keep dd in a crib until I have to move her. I am assuming around 2 1/2 or so would be about the time they are capable to climb out, therefore, becomes a safety issue. The crib we have now is not a convertible, so I am using it for the baby and am buying a cheap convertible crib for dd. I dont think there is a right or wrong answer... maybe you can gage where your son is when it gets closer? My neice was successfully ina toddler bed by 22 months and they just put a baby gate at her door. This way if she got up and they didnt hear her for some reason, she still couldnt get out. Sorry for rambling... this has been fresh on my mind lately too!

lorbo

08-12-2005, 08:39 AM

the advice i received about the crib...if DD was still in her crib when the next baby was born/baby was coming home(being that James was in the NICU for 5 weeks), was to leave everything as it was-her world was changing enough and her doctor made a point of telling me to leave well enough alone-meaning, not to try to potty train her or move her to a big bed, unless she was telling me-she's now potty trained and we're trying to finish her bedroom, and make the move to a big girl bed(we're bypassing the toddler bed)-well, as soon as her daddy gets the little stuff done-and then James will move to the crib-he's getting a bit big for the cradle and I need more sleep than I'm getting.

cshaysharp

08-12-2005, 08:47 AM

Regarding the toddler bed question..

I kept the nursery the same for the baby and made a "big girl" room for Sophie. Because she is still so young and a wild sleeper, we opted for the toddler bed. I didn't mind spending the money because I know I can use it for DD #2.

I am really happy with our decision. Soph takes much pride in her big girl room and bed. We haven't had a problem with her getting out of it and we keep a moniter in her room so that we can hear if she wakes. We just close her door so she can't roam the house if she does get up and it doesn't bother her.

As far as the transition, it went pretty smoothly. We did it way before the baby came so we wouldn't have to be dealing with that as well as a new baby. And I started putting her down for naps in it first to get her aquainted, then put her in at night. The first couple nights we sat next to her while she fell asleep and that really helped.

Every child is different, but for what it's worth, this was our experience. ;)

LyLMyssChaos

08-12-2005, 09:44 AM

Well, add me to the list of 2 under 2....although since my DD just had her birthday last month, she is no longer under 2. I also take care of 3 other kids Monday-Friday, so that leaves me with the following group:
DD:25 months
DS:3 1/2 months
Niece: 25 months
Niece: 29 months
Nephew: 12 months

So I can still completely sympathize with the issues you ladies are having. We live in a ranch style house, so the stairs are not an issue, thank goodness. But the biggest piece of advice I can give to all of you is that "if it's not broke, don't fix it." By that I mean, just do what you feel is right, don't push things, and don't expect too much out of yourself. It takes quite a while to get adjusted to having multiple children that young, and so there will be times (more often than not) that your house will look like a disaster. So what? As long as your kid's are being taken care of? The rest will fall into place! Also know when to accept/ask for help!! I swear, I couldn't have made it without the help of family!
As for the crib thing? We actually closed on our new house the day before I had our DS, so when I came home from the hospital, it was to a new house, and with the new house, we decided that Madeline would sleep in a "big girl" bed from the first night. That seemed to work really well, as she is VERY proud of her Dora sheets, because she is not a baby anymore! We also just have let her potty train when she wants to. We for the most part let her take the lead. If she wants to love on her brother? We let her, if she doesn't want anything to do with him, we don't force her. But she adores her brother and is such a proud big sister, so we don't have to deal with the latter too often!

We also have used the concept of her baby brother to encourage her to give up things like the binky. Even though my son doesn't care for binkies, his big sister was a binky fiend (that we actually had broke of it until she stayed with my parents while I had the baby--but that is a whole nother issue.)

I second the idea that if I could change the age gap with my kids that I wouldn't. I absolutely adore seeing how they are with each other, and it is worth every single sleepless night and every hairpulling moment. Besides, if they weren't so close together, I couldn't have pics like this(some of you may have seen it, but it's one of my faves):
Here is my little man at 4 days old with his big sissy:
http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5da09b3127cce910a4e8a873300000026108AbOHLNy1bM9
In the hospital on his birthday with his big sissy:
http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5da09b3127cce910bdce6266a00000036108AbOHLNy1bM9

ce_Kathleen

08-12-2005, 10:30 AM

LyLMyssChaos Those pics are too beautiful! They brought tears to my eyes (granted I am PG) but really they are great pics!

I can only hope that my DS and #2 will love eachother like that.

As for the crib/bed issue I guess I will have to take a more "wait and see" approach. We do have a cradle in addition to the bassinet and the cradle has a higher weight limit so we won't be too crunched for time if we need to leave DS in the crib or I might look into getting an inexpensive 2nd crib. I was really hoping to keep the nursery the nursery and to move DS into his own room but again I guess we will have to see how things go.

tray622

08-12-2005, 11:06 AM

LyLMissChaos Let me just say that seeing pics like that just make me so excited for the day my two will meet :)

jki

09-21-2005, 04:44 PM

Just wanted to give this thread a bump up to see if anyone has any new tips on how to deal with 2 under 2!

LyLMyssChaos

09-21-2005, 08:13 PM

Glad to see you made your way over here jki! As you can tell, we aren't the most active of groups, but we tend to lurk and just respond when we feel the need to. So feel free to ask questions and I'm sure you'll get some great answers! :D

linda_loo

09-22-2005, 05:51 AM

Did you move your DC#1 to a toddlerbed/twin bed or did they stay in the crib and for how long?

I'm so late in seeing this question. Our children are 18 months apart, so we bought a 2nd crib. dd#1 jumped out of her crib, just 2 weeks after we had #2... and there was no way in hell I had the energy to deal with that, at that time. So, we bought a crib tent; I had hoped to get her in a bed by the time she was 2, but not while I had a 2 week old to take care of as well. All was well until dd#2 was around 32 months, when she became increasingly frustrated with the crib and the tent. By that time, I was all about keeping her in as long as possible.

Now, my youngest will be 2 in November. I would like to move her to a bed, but am sort of dragging my feet. After that, all the baby stuff will be gone from our house... and I'm a little sad about that.

Jen1098

09-22-2005, 06:03 AM

God I never thought I'd need this thread. :D The plan was to have ds be just over two years when second was born but we all know how that goes....
Granted he will be 22 months so close enough I suppose.

So how the heck do you guys get anything done around the house? I am very lucky b/c I have a dh who has no problems totally pitching in and cleaning and such but as it is now I have a problem getting dinner on the table and cleaning. Yeah I suppose instead of being on the computer I could be picking up around the house but I use his am nap for me time. That's just as important right? :D

DH teases me saying I'm going to be in for a big shock when #2 gets here b/c I have it so easy right now.

Better stock up on all those crockpot recipies from the crockpot thread.

marchfamily

11-07-2005, 10:15 AM

Would love to hear more - mine will be 16 months apart.

lawyerwifemom

11-07-2005, 10:22 AM

Jakedog I have two 22 months apart (and a third on the way that will be 17 months from my son, 3yrs 4 months from my dd). When I was pregnant with my ds, my daughter really got into the magazine from the OB's office called "How your baby grows" or something. It showed the baby developing each month and also showed the mom's figure changing. She was fascinated! She especially liked looking at the immediately post delivery newborn baby and the mom with the gigantic 9 month belly. I think it also helped that we knew the sex of the baby and had given him a name. So she was able to talk to 'baby Wyatt' each day in utero.

I think having someone help with the toddler would be my pick. I bf and slept while DH entertained Rachel.

Good luck to you!

nancy drew

11-07-2005, 10:40 AM

Bumping this up!

Anyone have any suggestions for books to help a young toddler understand that there's a baby in mamas's belly? H just doesn't get it and I am afraid if we don't talk about it before the baby comes it is goign to come as quite a shock:p

Also if you already had your 2, do you think it would be more helpful to have someone after the birth to help with the baby or the toddler?? I need to get someone to help since I will be recovering from a c-section as well as BFing but I am wondering if I should look more specifically for a baby-nurse or for someone who can keep a toddler busy and on the go??

my dd was fascinated with my belly, so i kept telling her there was a baby in there and that he would be coming out to see us soon. she would say "hi" to my belly, if i asked her where the baby was she would point to my belly, she was intrigued and very interested in other babies (at playgroup or classes) so i would tell her "Thats a baby, like the baby inside mommys tummy. soon our baby will be here..." and go on about what it would be like with a baby. i tended to focus more on the fact that "baby nathan" was coming to join us and that he would be her little brother and she would be the big sister, rather than trying to make her understand where the baby was at that moment.

there are some great books, i bought this one for stella:
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/0688145094.01._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-dp-500-arrow,TopRight,45,-64_AA240_SH20_SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg
(theres a big brother version too). it is still one of her favorite books. when i read it to her i named everyone in the pictures. the big sister is stella, the baby is baby nathan, etc. so i tried to make it more personal in hopes that she would understand a little better.

i havent looked at it but this one may help your son get the concept that the baby is inside:
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/0688170439.01._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-dp-500-arrow,TopRight,45,-64_AA240_SH20_SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

and i would recommend having someone to help with the toddler, vs helping with the baby.

ce_Kathleen

11-07-2005, 10:49 AM

At what age do you think DS will understand that another baby is coming? He is almost 15 months old now and I am 22 weeks PG. He loves to pat mommy's belly and even gives it kisses, but I am just wondering how much he is able to understand at this point (especially since his vocab is limited at best but I know that his comprehension is much better).

momtoaveri

11-07-2005, 01:07 PM

I'll be joining this club soon! DD will be 23 months when the new one is born. I need all the advice that I can get!

jki

11-07-2005, 01:13 PM

Also if you already had your 2, do you think it would be more helpful to have someone after the birth to help with the baby or the toddler??

jakedog: What are the possibilities of finding one person who has experience with BOTH? Maybe Henry will be super jealous and he will want Mama all the time - so perhaps it would be easier to have someone else change the diapers, rock the baby to sleep, etc. and you can focus on H. But maybe he won't be super jealous and then it would be lovely to have someone who is able to take him out and make sure he burns off some energy!

knzbound

11-07-2005, 02:38 PM

jakedog--I didn't have any outside hired help but I had DH home for two weeks and my mother here for a week after that.

I was basically on baby duty while DH was on toddler duty during DD1's waking hours. (DDs are 22 mos. apart). He took DD1 out every morning to burn off energy/get out of my hair and that was great. I also think giving her a lot of one-on-one attention during those first few weeks helped her with the transition from Only Princess to One of Two Princesses. He also dealt w/all her diapers, which was also a huge help because she is a hellion during diaper changes and getting down on the floor to wrestle her (only sort of kidding!) just wasn't going to work w/stitches in my crotch, YK? And, he took care of her meals. I have since learned to juggle and put DD2 down so I can fix DD1 a meal, but the first few weeks she really needed to be held or fed most of the time.

During my mother's visit, she helped out w/both kids during the day doing whatever I couldn't be doing with one or the other. At night, she was kind of like a night nurse. She'd wake me up to BF the baby and then take her for me and put her back to sleep, which could take an extra 30-60 minutes. This was a godsend because DH was already back at work and we both got caught up on sleep.

I guess I am not really answering your question. If I had to make a choice, I would choose help w the toddler. When I only had one baby I thought it was so hard to take of a tiny baby on my own but now I find it very relaxing! :)Toddler care is so much more energy-intensive.

dal

11-07-2005, 04:29 PM

Hi. I was a mom of 2 under 2 but my oldest is now 27 months and my youngest is almost a year. They are 16.5 months apart.

I have to say that it wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be. The beginning was a little rough but I think that a newborn for anyone is a little hard, whether it is the first child or the tenth, kwim?

And now, it is so easy. My girls are the very best of friends. They can play for hours together. They give eachother hugs and kisses all the time.

At what age do you think DS will understand that another baby is coming? - My daughter was 16.5 months old when my 2nd was born and I don't think she really got it until Kailey came home from the hospital. She knew "baby belly" and "baby kailey" was in the belly but I don't think she really knew. It was helpful that we knew the sex and let Alyssa know and get familiar with Kailey's name.

Anyone have any suggestions for books to help a young toddler understand that there's a baby in mamas's belly? - We had the book posted above but at 16.5 months, my daughter was really too young to get it from a book. We basically just talked to her a lot about becoming a big sister and said the baby's name to her a lot.

Also if you already had your 2, do you think it would be more helpful to have someone after the birth to help with the baby or the toddler?? - I didn't have anyone to help except for my husband who was home for 2 weeks when the baby was born. Honestly, I needed the time with both kids b/c I felt really guilty about the new life that was thrown upon my daughter and I didn't want her to have to get used to anything else new. What was really helpful was that my MIL made us dinners everynight and my FIL brought them over.

Anyway, just wanted to say hi and if anyone has more questions, feel free to ask. I'll try and answer as best as I can. :)

neenbean

11-07-2005, 07:35 PM

DH and I just agreed to start TTC baby #2 and I am excited and scared.

Every thing I do through out the day, I try to imagine what it would be like with 2 kids... Most activities are just not going to continue afterwards, but I guess it WILL be worth it. :)

My sister and I are 21 months apart, she is my best girl friend. My mother wouldn't change it for the world and I am thankful to have such a close friend, so I hope we are as fortunate with our children.

QUESTION for those with experience, when did you start going out with both children (for walks, playgroup, shopping, etc.) without help?

knzbound

11-07-2005, 08:23 PM

I started going out on my own when DD2 was three weeks old. She's eight weeks old today. As difficult as it is, it has saved my sanity. I set a goal for getting the three of us out of the house every day and I've stuck to it for the past five weeks! The big reason for getting out and about is DD1. She starts to go crazy and thus drive me crazy if we don't get out every morning. She's just at an age (23 mos.) where she gets really bored really quickly at home. She's been this way since about 18 mos. I think. Sometimes the outings are lame like taking a long walk to the P.O. to pick up a package or grocery shopping, and sometimes they are more fun and geared toward DD, like the playground, the duck pond, or a playdate.

Koala_Gurl

11-07-2005, 08:42 PM

I think DH & I are also thinking of TTC for #2 (DD is almost 8 months now). I am ready for lots of work, but I think (hope) it will work out in the long run! :)

mittyrd

11-08-2005, 03:59 AM

My son was 20 months old when my twins were born. I don't think he had a clue that babies were coming when my belly was getting bigger. And since the babies stayed in the hospital for 2 months it was hard to make him understand what was going on. When the babies came home, I was very nervous about how he would react. He cried the first half hour and then after that he was fine. He pretty much ignored them for a few weeks but now he loves them. In fact, the first thing that he has said is "Hi babies" and he says it all the time. They are the first thing he wants to look at when he gets up in the morning and the when he comes in from daycare.

Re: Help - I kept DS in daycare since I was going to have to pay for it anyway. That has been the best thing. The few days he was home (just with me and the babies) he would get bored out of his mind b/c we couldn't go out and do anything and he quickly got tired of his toys inside. On the weekends, either DH or I will take him out alone either to do errands or just get out and the other will stay with the babies (they can't go out until spring) so he gets a lot of one-on-one time then.

The biggest piece of advice I can offer is to keep his schedule the same as much as possible. We have never wavered from our bedtime routine no matter what and DS has gone right down to bed and slept through the night since the day we brought the babies home. The other thing is to learn how to feed the baby with keeping one hand free! DS always wants me to color or help with a puzzle when I am feeding one of them. This way I can help and he doesn't get mad that the baby is keeping me from playing with him.

All in all, it has been much easier than I expected even with twins. (It helps that DS is very easy-going) Of course, I have never taken all 3 out by myself and have no plans on doing that any time soon without help but logistically it would be much easier with just 2 to do that.

mamax2

11-08-2005, 06:47 AM

My girls won't be '2 under 2' (28 months apart), but I lurk here anyway b/c it can't be that different, right? :)

In addition to the 'Big Sister' book previously posted, we really like:

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/0395739705.01._AA240_SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg
My favorite things about this book are that it's gender neutral (you can make the characters sisters or brothers - they're pretty ambiguous) and that it shows images of the mother breastfeeding. It's very simplistic language and works really well for a young toddler.

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/0517800748.01._BO2,204,203,200_PIlitb-dp-500-arrow,TopRight,32,-59_AA240_SH20_SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg
This one might be a little complex for a young toddler as talks about the womb, growing baby, going to the Dr's office, hearing the heartbeat, going to the hospital... I kind of glossed over it at first, but now, a month before my due date, my DD really enjoys this book and has for the past 6 weeks or so. Again, I also like that this book portrays the mother breastfeeding.

nancy drew

11-08-2005, 09:25 AM

QUESTION for those with experience, when did you start going out with both children (for walks, playgroup, shopping, etc.) without help? within the first week. my dh was only off work for a week, and he was actually working anyway much of that time, so i was on my own from the get go. actually it was probably the best thing because it made me less "afraid" of going out with both kids. i take them grocery shopping, to playgroups, to gymboree classes, for walks in the neighborhood, etc. i think it is vital to all of our sanities to get out as much as possible. dd gets to continue her normal activities and i get some fresh air and a change of scenery and ds gets to ride in the sling snuggled up next to me.

momama

11-09-2005, 09:29 AM

QUESTION for those with experience, when did you start going out with both children (for walks, playgroup, shopping, etc.) without help?

Right from the start, I found it wasn't as difficult as I imagined it would be. I was already in the swing of it, so adding one little one to the mix wasn't too bad. Just threw in a few dipes for him and a change of clothes and went out like normal.

My DH was only able to take the weekend off from work, then my MIL came to help for a week. She wasn't much help, though.

Stroller question... Other than the graco duoglider, does anyone have any double stroller recommendations? Anyone use the sit and stand?

If this topic has already been discussed can somebody please point me to the right page?

My daughter is 21 mos and my son is just shy of 3 mos. So far I haven't needed a double (my dd walks and I sling my son) but I've started to research...

Koala_Gurl

11-09-2005, 10:36 AM

Double Stroller...

I am not there yet, but from what I have learned so far, I am looking at either the Mountain Buggy Urban Double (I have the single version now and LOVE it!) I have heard how great it is for steering & such (it is a side by side). The other one I am looking at is the Adventure Buggy Company all terrain w/ toddler jump seat. I haven't seen this in person, but it looks cool on the website. http://www.abcbuggy.co.nz/

As for lightweight ones...I haven't started that research yet! :)

SaphirimalMei

11-10-2005, 03:42 PM

Just joining up...
DD (born 2/1/05) and #2 (due 4/22/06) will be almost 15 months apart.

Phen

11-10-2005, 05:31 PM

momama, Here's an info-packed thread on Double Strollers (http://www.constantchatter.com/showthread.php?t=4075). :)

~ phen

ce_Kathleen

11-11-2005, 05:32 AM

I have a question for you all,

I am PG with #2 due in march (ds will be just weeks shy of 19months old)

I keep having these "mood swings" I guess (which is not unusual for being PG) that there are times when I am so excited to meet my new baby and I know things will be fine and then I get so scared that I won't be able to handle 2 kids and that someone will get neglected or I will be a mess!

Did/do any of you have similar feelings?

Moms of 2, do you get over these feelings once the baby comes?

jen71

11-11-2005, 08:42 AM

Kathleen- Our DS is due in march, & DD will be about 20 months then. This pregnancy was so unexpected for us, even more so b/c we could not get pg for a few years, & DD is an adoption blessing! I can so relate to being nervous, & feeling a little guilty. DD was supposed to be our one & only, spoiled rotten & sent to college. She is such a blessing to us that I am afraid of how to share my time! I know it will all work out & all, & I am so glad she will have a sibling, & a brother to boot. I have a friend who is due in december & her first is only going to be about 16 months. When she found out she was pregnant, she felt horrible, like 'how can I possibly love another as much?" So I guess it is normal to be nervous.
I too cannot imagine having two, & keeping my sanity. I am at the point where I just won't think about it.

mittyrd

11-11-2005, 12:01 PM

I keep having these "mood swings" I guess (which is not unusual for being PG) that there are times when I am so excited to meet my new baby and I know things will be fine and then I get so scared that I won't be able to handle 2 kids and that someone will get neglected or I will be a mess!

Did/do any of you have similar feelings?

YES! I wasn't scared about handling more kids but I was so afraid that my first son would get "cheated" and I was so worried about how he would handle it. I even asked the doctor to keep the babies in the hospital a couple of more weeks b/c I wasn't prepared on how to handle DS. :rolleyes: Of course, all my angst was for nothing b/c DS was completely fine. The only thing I can't handle is the logistics of getting all 3 in and out of the car when necessary. Haven't had to deal with that yet though. I do get worried when I am alone with all 3 and it is feeding time b/c if DS is not around I can feed both at the same time but if he is around I have to do one at a time and then listen to the other scream and I have a hard time with that. Other than that, it certainly is not as hard as I had built it up in my mind to be.

knzbound

11-11-2005, 02:26 PM

ce kathleen--I had a lot of those same feelings throughout the pregnancy and esp. toward the end when it was becoming more and more inevitable that I would have two kids to take care of all the time!

I have to say, although by no means easy, it is a lot better than I thought it would be. (I am a very pessimistic person, unfortunately, so I often expect the worst!) We've had some rough spots, but all in all, I think we're doing well. It's definitely tough when both kids need something (but not the same thing) at the same time. DD1 never had to wait a few minutes to be picked up, changed, fed, etc., but DD2 often has to wait if I am in the middle of changing her sister's diaper, or fixing a meal or whatever. Nobody gets neglected, per se, but not all of their needs are met immediately. Takes some getting used to, by everyone, but we're dealing!

tray622

11-14-2005, 07:39 PM

nancy drew

11-14-2005, 09:19 PM

I have a couple questions :)

- when you delivered #2 did you have DH stay with you after the baby was born or go home with #1? We will have a single room with an extra bed...

- How did #1 react to being in the hospital to see the baby? Is it worth it or better to "meet" at home?

- Was anyone on bedrest with #2? If so, did you hire someone specifically to come to your house, take #1 somewhere, or manage on your own? Our babysitter we use when I am working is going to be way too far to take Zoey to a couple day a week.

Thank you in advance :D
dh stayed in the hospital the first night then at home the 2nd. there was really no need for him to be at the hospital all night. he got a better night of sleep at home and i felt better about having him there with stella.

i cant really answer the other questions as our "meeting" situation was a bit complicated by our circumstances, and i wasnt on bedrest so i cant answer that one.

jki

11-15-2005, 07:05 AM

When you delivered #2 did you have DH stay with you after the baby was born or go home with #1? We will have a single room with an extra bed...
DH went home and spent both nights at home. My sister stayed with #1 while I was delivering #2. #2 went to the nursery at the hospital - I felt we all needed to get as much rest as possible before we went home.

How did #1 react to being in the hospital to see the baby? Is it worth it or better to "meet" at home?

#1 was fine with the hospital/baby, etc. but he was only 13 months at the time. It wasn't until the baby came home that #1 started reacting (negatively). I think the benefit of #1 coming to the hospital was more to see ME. DH came with #1 to the hospital twice per day.

momama

11-15-2005, 09:48 AM

Originally Posted by tray622
I have a couple questions

- when you delivered #2 did you have DH stay with you after the baby was born or go home with #1? We will have a single room with an extra bed...My DH stayed with me both nights, DD stayed at her grandparents house. We had her stay overnight with them several times before the baby just to prepare her.

- How did #1 react to being in the hospital to see the baby? Is it worth it or better to "meet" at home?She came the evening he was born and was fine, she loved looking at "baby Sam". She spent most of the next day with us, too. I can't say if it was better or worse than meeting at home, she took it well.

- Was anyone on bedrest with #2? If so, did you hire someone specifically to come to your house, take #1 somewhere, or manage on your own? Our babysitter we use when I am working is going to be way too far to take Zoey to a couple day a week. Can't answer that one.

portlandbride

01-17-2006, 10:43 PM

Just bumping this up because I am joining the "2 under 2" crowd.
DD will be 16.5 months when DC #2 is born.
Anybody have any good advice sine they last posted??:)

cpaccione

01-18-2006, 06:22 PM

I didn't read all the posts so I might be suggesting duplicate things but my DS and DD are 15 months apart. DS just turned 18 months and DD is now 3 months.

At first it was really difficult because DD would keep me up at night and DS still got up at 6:00am but after a couple months we have pretty much fallen into a routine. What helped me the most was figuring out how DD wanted to sleep, then taking care of anything DS needed before she woke up. Then when DD needed something I would put a video or something on for DS to watch to occupy him.

The most important "devices" I have utilized are my Graco Duo Glider, couldn't live without it, and a pack n play in the bedroom. This way when I want to take a shower I put DS in the pack n play, DD in her car seat (which she loves more than me I think:) ) and take a shower, go to the bathroom, pay bills, do whatever. That will give me about 1/2 an hour of time (usually). I also have 3 changing tables with supplies throughout the house so I can change them anywhere without leaving the other one.

I also figured out a method of transporting both up and down stairs, and in/out of the car. Basically the baby will sit wherever I put her so when I go downstairs she goes first then I bring DS down. When going out to the car I put DS in first so he can't go anywhere then bring DD out. This has worked pretty well.

I don't nurse, but I haven't had any problems with feeding. At first DS wanted to take the bottle but he got over that pretty quickly.

As far as the hospital, since we have an 8 year old as well DH went home each night I was there. He brought both children in to visit and DS didn't seem too interested in her or anything. We also don't have much family around here so they couldn't stay the night anywhere.

If I can think of anything else I'll post, but I hope it was helpful. Just don't pull your hair out in the beginning...it's frustrating but eventually you work a routine in. :)

khinny

01-18-2006, 06:37 PM

Hi! My two boys are 15 mos. apart. My oldest will actually be 2 in about 10 days. Since I am just a bit busy ;) I haven't really read much of the preceding posts yet, so I'll just tell you how it is for me...

I absolutely LOVE it!! :D Granted, both of my boys are pretty easy going, so that definitely helps, but I have to say that I have always been pretty strict with my older one in preparation. For example, when I found out I was pg with the 2nd, I had a friend who had a daughter the same age as my 1st (6 mos. at the time). When we went go shopping together and her daughter cried, she would always take her out of the stroller. I very rarely did, knowing that as I got bigger I wouldn't be able to have him spoiled like that. And when you have two, you definitely don't want them spoiled. Now when I go to the mall with a friend who only has one child, they can't believe how good I have it with my two. The older one will throw a tantrum once in a while, but I just don't give in and it's over pretty fast. A lot of times they are just tired and they both fall asleep.

I also have them both on the same nap schedule, which is great! I get about 2 - 3 hours a day to get stuff done.

I would take the older one food shopping with me when it was just him, but now I usually only go when after my husband comes home from work. In the early stages you can put the older one in the cart and the baby in a carrier. Or if you have the car seat that pops out of the base, put that in the back of the cart. You can only get a few things or trail a second cart behind you.

Believe it or not, a lot of times they have dirty diapers at the same time, so it doesn't feel like I'm always changing diapers.

They play great together and it's so much fun to watch them!! They really crack each other up! The older one has bit the baby a few times in the stroller, but I think it was out of boredom - not really knowing that it was a bad thing to do. But I could definitely be wrong about that! :confused:

Mmmmm, what else?

We put the older one in a toddler bed when he was 18 mos. and put a gate on his door. It was really rough the first week or two, but after that he went to bed and takes naps with no problem at all. I just wouldn't let him out of his bed that first week. I would just keep putting him back if he got up and sit in his room until he fell asleep if I had to.

I guess that's all I can think of for now. For what it's worth, my little one will be 9 mos. in a week and I'm trying to talk my husband into having another one! If I think of anything else, I'll share. Good luck to all!!

ce_Kathleen

01-19-2006, 05:34 AM

Thanks Khinny and cpaccione for posting! I only have 6.5 more weeks until #2 arrives so reading what you wrote has made me feel a little less uneasy. So good to hear that things can and do work out and that it can be fun!

mommycal

01-19-2006, 06:39 AM

khinny how have you been? Are you over in LJ at all? It's Caly from WC. :)

Jen1098

01-19-2006, 09:15 AM

nancy drew

01-19-2006, 09:45 AM

I have a question for you moms with 2 under 2.

When the 2nd baby came did your oldest dc's sleep change. DS is a great sleeper, goes to sleep on his own and sleeps 12 hours a night and his naps are great to. I'm so afraid this will change with the new baby.
We'll also be in an apartment for a good while once the baby is here so I'm sure he'll hear the baby cry in the middle of the night.

Did you guys get a white noise machine for your older one or just hurry and get the baby before he/she woke up your eldest.
the baby slept in our room for the first 3 months. when we moved, he got his own room but still spends part of the night in our room (basically whenever i dont feel like sitting in the chair nursing him anymore, i bring him into our room and nurse in the bed and either cosleep or put him in the pnp which is right next to the bed). dd's sleep hasnt changed, except that she doesnt nap anymore (i dont have time to rock her down, so most days she just plays in her crib) and her bedtime has gotten later, but her wake time has gotten later too so it balances out.

kiki61872

01-23-2006, 06:25 PM

i'm glad i found this thread. we are thinking of TTC #2 this spring. but i'm so nervous.

i had a high risk pregnancy for #1 - what the heck will happen to me with a second pregnancy? what do you do if you are put on bedrest?

girlygirl_7

01-23-2006, 07:24 PM

I don't post much on CC but I wanted to join this thread. In a few weeks I will REALLY have 2 under 2. My son turns 1 this Thursday and I am over 36 weeks pregnant. So my kids will be just over 12 months apart.

I am not too worried about it. I think I am a pretty relaxed person and can handle a lot at once, still, I know it will be hard. The thing that I am most worried about is the lack of sleep. I am sure that I will be up a lot in the night with the new baby as I was with my son, and my son wakes up at 6AM. He does still take 2 great naps though, so I will just have to try to get the baby to nap when he does so that I can catch a quick rest. It is only for a few months, so hopefully it won't ge that bad.

I guess I am also a little worried about transporting both of them when I am alone. I have stairs in my house so getting them up and down and into the car may be a challenge. I just got my double stroller (the Peg Duette) which I love, so I think that outtings will be okay. Going to the market scares me a bit. How do you girls do it? I guess I will have to keep the baby in a Bjorn and put my son in the front of the cart????? I have no idea.

I am not very worried about jealously issues. My son is still a baby and he has no clue what is going on. I think that he will adjust just fine.

One thing that I want to vent about ~ Does anyone get sick of comments from strangers? Since I have a baby and am so far along in my pregnancy, every human being that I walk past feels the need to comment. They ask me if it was planned, if I am crazy, etc. etc. I think it is pretty rude!

So that is it! I am sure I will get some help in here once my daughter is born in a few weeks.

khinny

01-23-2006, 08:09 PM

khinny how have you been? Are you over in LJ at all? It's Caly from WC. :)

Hey Caly! How are you? Can't believe you have 2, too! Not in LJ yet... Hopefully soon.

jki

01-23-2006, 08:36 PM

One thing that I want to vent about ~ Does anyone get sick of comments from strangers? Since I have a baby and am so far along in my pregnancy, every human being that I walk past feels the need to comment. They ask me if it was planned, if I am crazy, etc. etc. I think it is pretty rude!
girlygirl_7: My kids are 12 months and 3 weeks apart so I feel your pain! Luckily for me, DS is quite large (100th %tile for height - he towers over many 2+ year olds at 19 mos.) so when people look at us, they can't tell how close DS and DD really are. DD is also on the small side. However, when they do find out, they tend to make rude comments - yes, I am tired, yes, it is a lot of work, yes, I got pregnant when DS was 4 months old! :rolleyes: It is annoying but you will get used to it.

With regard to grocery shopping, DS and DD have never been. I find I am so much faster by myself and not having to schlep two people in and out of carseats is a huge timesaver. I usually go during naptime on Sundays.

As far as the jealousy issue - your DS may surprise you. Many people told me the same thing but DS had a really hard time adjusting and was super jealous. He would see me nursing and burst into tears. Think about it - for his entire life, it has just been him, mommy and daddy and suddenly mommy and daddy are totally focused on another baby.

To transport the kids, I put DD in her car seat and leave her in the house. I then take DS to the car and strap him into the car seat.... then, I get DD and we all leave. I always make sure DS is supervised or confined in the car seat. It gets harder when they are both in convertible car seats, though.

You will be fine, once you find a routine and DS and DD adjust, it will be great!

khinny

01-23-2006, 08:45 PM

As far as the jealousy issue - your DS may surprise you. Many people told me the same thing but DS had a really hard time adjusting and was super jealous. He would see me nursing and burst into tears. Think about it - for his entire life, it has just been him, mommy and daddy and suddenly mommy and daddy are totally focused on another baby.

Every child is different, so you never know if he/she will be jealous, but just to give you some hope, my boys are 15 mos. apart and my oldest didn't even know we had a new baby for a at least a month! Now they're they have so much fun together. You can tell how much they love each other and the younger one is only 9 mos. Once in a while the older one will hit the baby on the head with his toy drill :rolleyes: or something, but I think it's more out of a "let's see what will happen if I do this" thinking than a jealousy issue.

girlygirl_7

01-24-2006, 02:18 PM

jki

01-24-2006, 04:09 PM

girlygirl7 - I had major supply issues with DS - he was only nursed, and not exclusively, for 8 weeks. We can't figure out why he would burst into tears everytime he saw me nursing DD. He had seen many other babies being nursed and was always very curious.

The reason I brought up the jealousy issue was because everyone, including our pediatrician, told us DS wouldn't even notice that we had a baby in the house so we didn't do a thing to prepare DS. I didn't read anything on the topic, thinking it wouldn't be an issue. We didn't have any big brother books. We didn't even ATTEMPT to explain to him that there was a baby in mommy's tummy - it was such a foreign concept even to ME, that I was sure DS wouldn't get it. So when it WAS an issue, we had no idea how to react!

One thing I would recommend is to shorten bed/nap routines - DS had a pretty extensive nap/bed routine and it was torture to go through it with DD screaming in the background. He would notice if we missed a step or even skipped a page in his book!

The other thing I would recommend is that your 'help' does not engage in anything you could not engage in if they were not here. What I mean is that when my DH was on paternity leave, he took DS to the zoo, museum, swimming lessons, etc. Then, when my parents came to help, I took DS out all the time. He had all these fun things to do but when DH went back to work and grandma and grandpa went home - REALITY hit and the reality was that DS got to watch DD eat and watch mommy rock DD to sleep ALL THE TIME. While I think it's important to have special one on one time with DS, he also needs to be exposed to the baby as much as possible. So we switched strategies and went to the zoo or museum WITH DD, DH was only allowed to play with DS in the same room where I was feeding DD, etc. DS adjusted quickly and jealousy has really never been an issue since. DS shares with his sister like it's second nature. He gives her at least 10 hugs and kisses everyday without being asked. The first thing he asks for when he wakes up in the morning is his sister. It is so awesome to see their relationship develop!!

It's funny - DS NEVER had separation anxiety, even as a baby. He was also very attached to his father before the baby arrived.... well, after the baby arrived, he developed separation anxiety. I think it was a coincidence though, because many of the kids in our playgroup also started having separation anxiety around the same age.

Sarah

01-24-2006, 04:25 PM

Thank you for the advice girls. I know, kids, even small ones, are smarter than we think. So, my son may have a hard time. I won't know until she arrives.

jki ~ Do you mind me asking how long (if you did) did you nurse your first baby? I stopped nursing my son pretty early (at 6 months) because my milk supply changed drastically once I got pregnant again. DS basically refused to drink from me because I don't think he was getting enough. So, I don't think he will have issues there since he has been drinking only from a bottle since he was 6 months.

The good thing is that my son has really taken to Daddy these days. He goes running to him when he gets home from work and wants nothing to do with boring mom for the rest of the day. ;) Same thing when my husband is home all weekend. I think this is good because he isn't super attached to me, and I will be doing a huge majority of taking care of the new baby since I plan on nursing her. So I really feel like my husband and I can pay enough attention to both of them. My son is also very attached to my mom, and she will be helping me when my husband is at work. I just hope my son doesn't forget about me! I will be sure to keep those special things that we do together each day.

Mine aren't as close as yours, by any means, but I wanted to pipe up and say that kids don't necessarily have jealousy because of nursing relationships. My DD nursed until she was almost 3, and her sister was born just a few months after she weaned. She has never had any objection to my nursing the baby, and feels fine with me nursing in front of her. She has fond memories of nursing herself, and it doesn't seem to make her jealous in the slightest. Just wanted to offer that, in case anyone is worried that they should wean in order to make the distance between weaning and the new baby arriving, smaller.

AirForceLove

01-24-2006, 05:03 PM

My boys are 13 1/2 months apart. Dh and I have found that it is actually not as hard as we thought it was going to be. Well, DH knew it was not going to be so bad. He grew up in a large family and I well, me the first baby I ever took care of was my first child. Anyway, back to what I was saying...

Our oldest is great with his little brother now. We did have some jelousy at first, but we were expecting that. The first time Lenny saw his little brother was at the hospital. He came in and I was nursing Frankie. Lenny looked at me and gave a look I will never forget. It actually broke my heart. It was like he was saying, "Mom, who is that? I thought I was your baby." He wouldn't even come near me or baby Frankie. It took about a month for him to get use to his little brother. Now, he loves to give him hugs and kisses, he gives him his bottle (with our help of course), and get diapers for us.

They now interact with each other and it is great. Frankie looks up at his big brother and smiles at him all the time and Lenny tries to play with him. All in all, I think it really depends on the personality of your kids. DH and I are very blessed.

mamax2

01-24-2006, 08:31 PM

Mine aren't as close as yours, by any means, but I wanted to pipe up and say that kids don't necessarily have jealousy because of nursing relationships.
Ditto this. My girls are 28 months apart and my older DD has not shown one ounce of jealousy when I nurse the baby. I BFed DD1 for 16 months and she's very interested in nursing and I tell her that's how I fed her when she was a baby, etc. She's very content w/that. She either goes off and plays or brings me books or puzzles to play while I nurse or lately she gets a baby doll and sits next to me while she feeds her baby. She's actually only 'jealous' of DD2's binky - and she never even took a binky as a baby so who knows where that came from!!

Question: My baby is still a newborn and very portable, but it won't be long before she starts settling into a more regular napping routine. My 2.5 y.o. takes one nap a day (after lunch, goes down anywhere from 12:30-2:00 depending on what we're doing and sleeps for approx. 1-1.5 hours) How do you get out of the house and do age appropriate things for toddlers while still preserving a routine/nap schedule for a baby? I'm so scared of being confined to the house w/two kids. Help!

nancy drew

01-24-2006, 08:42 PM

Question: My baby is still a newborn and very portable, but it won't be long before she starts settling into a more regular napping routine. My 2.5 y.o. takes one nap a day (after lunch, goes down anywhere from 12:30-2:00 depending on what we're doing and sleeps for approx. 1-1.5 hours) How do you get out of the house and do age appropriate things for toddlers while still preserving a routine/nap schedule for a baby? I'm so scared of being confined to the house w/two kids. Help!
ive been struggling with this myself. if i want to preserve nathans naps, which is the only good sleep he gets, i have to stay home or ask dh to have a morning off so one of us can be with each kid (he works nights sometimes, so this isnt really a big deal). but it isnt always possible to get time off, and id like us to have family time as well. so lately i have been sucking it up and letting nathan stay up through his morning nap. he actually handles it well, and stellas activities only last about an hour so he just gets his nap late. i hate doing this, though, but if we dont do it then i will be stuck in the house for another year or so until he outgrows his morning nap. and i think i will completely lose my mind if that happens. when i take him out i wear him in the mei tai facing out, so he can watch everything thats going on. we usually just go to an open gym session nearby. he stays awake (though people comment on how tired he looks :rolleyes: )then he crashes when we get home. if he were the type to fall asleep in slings i would wear him facing in and let him nap, but he screams if i do that.

the other plan i have is to join some playgroups (we just moved, so i dont belong to any yet) that meet in peoples houses, so he can take naps there (or at our house when its my turn to host). i figure most people have a pack n play or something where i can put him down in a quiet area. even just a blanket on the floor in another room is fine. and i have an extra baby monitor i can bring. now i just need the playgroup ;).

im looking forward to hearing other ideas as well on this subject.

oh and my dd had a slight jealousy issue with the baby nursing at first. but she was still nursing too. so i let nathan nurse first, then asked him if he would share with stella, then pretend he said yes, and id let her nurse for a few minutes. then she weaned. or i weaned her. cant really remember how it happened. but there are no issues now.

tray622

02-15-2006, 05:57 AM

ce_Kathleen

02-15-2006, 07:12 AM

Oh Tracy! As another march momma (who hasn't had her baby yet) I can't offer any advice at this point but wanted to give you some support!!

HUGS!

September2002

02-15-2006, 06:18 PM

Hang in there Tracy! Get sleep whenever you can squeeze some in - it will never seem like enough. The sooner you realize that you can’t get everything done (laundry, cooking, cleaning) the easier you’ll be on yourself. My girls are 17 months apart and I really found the first few weeks (months) to be challenging – who eats when? who naps where? who’s crying now? who needs a diaper change? It’s so hard to be rational about things when you’re exhausted. Someone was always crying (I do my share). Someone always needs something - they’ll both learn quickly that someone has to wait. We joke now that the first words out of dd #2 will be “Just a second Grace!” (the poor thing is always waiting). I was freaked out too, but I can honestly say that after a few days I was looking forward to dh returning to work so I could establish a “routine” with the girls. Do you have family close by? I unfortunately do not and my dh works a lot so I did hire some help a few hours a week. I take dd#1 to the gym with me and leave #2 with the sitter. When you have two kids, getting out of the house with 1 feels like a break! This also let #1 and I go have fun together. My youngest is now 8.5 months old (took her first steps today!) and our good days far out way the bad. There’s nothing sweeter than seeing them laugh and squeal together – it makes me melt. I wish you the best of luck and hang in there.

Misty911

02-15-2006, 06:45 PM

There’s nothing sweeter than seeing them laugh and squeal together – it makes me melt.

That is what keeps me going. I will soon have three under three! :eek: There is 16 months apart between my son and my little girl. I am expecting another boy in April. When he is born, My oldest will be 28 months, my little girl 11 months and then the newborn! I will need prayers! I just hope I can keep my sanity.

nancy drew

02-15-2006, 07:10 PM

HELP!

I am only on day 5 of being home with #2 and freaking out. How do you guys do it? How do you have the energy to be there for #1 when you are getting zero sleep and the baby needs to be held all the time? I am petrified of dh going back to work next week. I feel like I am a new mom all over again and am clueless how this is going to work out :(
congrats!!

do you have a sling or baby carrier type thing? you can put your baby in the sling, s/he can sleep, and you can tend to the older one. i was lucky in that my little one was fine sleeping in the pnp or his crib, but if thats not an option get a sling or a carrier that s/he can sleep in.

it does get easier when the baby becomes more able to sit up and "participate" in playtime.

tray622

02-15-2006, 07:24 PM

Thanks for the support ce_kathleen, september2002 and nancydrew

I forgot about babywearing. I do have a hotsling and a mai-tai. I have never used either with a newborn though, so I will have to try practicing tomorrow. I think I am just having a hormonal break down right now. I guess I just anticipated that things would be so easy the second time around and I feel like a fumbling new mom all over again.

I think that once things get going it will feel more doable. I, luckily, do have some help and plan on using it a couple hours a week. It iis when I think about sleep I want to cry. It is the relationship they will have later that does get me excited.

mamax2

02-15-2006, 07:29 PM

when i take him out i wear him in the mei tai facing out, so he can watch everything thats going on.

Nancy ~ I guess this would be more appropriate in the sling thread, but I'll ask here anyway... when can I start wearing DD2 facing out in the mei tai? She likes facing out when I carry her, but I tried her that way in the mei tai about 2 weeks ago and she flipped. Not sure if her head just isn't strong enough yet or what, but I know she'd like to see what's going on. I'm soooooo glad my mei tai is finally getting some use. My toddler was having none of that and I was afraid I'd wasted my money.

Tracy ~ Congratulations and I'll echo what's already been posted - it DOES get easier - much so. For us, 8 weeks was the turning point. Don't get me wrong, it's still much harder than just having one and I often feel badly that I don't give 'enough' of myself to either child. I feel like I don't play w/my toddler enough and I lose my patience with her too often and I miss those days of leisurely nursing and napping in bed with a newborn BUT I try to remember that I've given them the gift of sisterhood and even if I'm not at my best right now, they will have each other for the rest of their lives. Anyway, you will get used to some add'l crying and you'll get used to not being able to do everything.

If you can have someone come over to help you, that makes a big difference. I think DD2 was at least 2 weeks old before I even attempted to take a shower without someone else home! Then, I started going out, first w/help or just one kid and then I eventually started braving it on my own. The first trip was a disaster, but now I think nothing of it. I take them shopping, to Story Time, etc. The only thing we don't do together is the grocery store (see the aforementioned disastrous first outing ;) )

My final recommendation is to try to have your DH or someone spend a little extra time w/your older child doing especially fun things. For instance, my DH made a point of taking DD1 on some special outing every day - even if it was just to the video store. Then, as I got my bearings, I've tried to take her on a couple of outings w/out the baby and that seems to make her really happy.

September2002

02-16-2006, 11:28 AM

Misty: 3 under 3! Congratulations and good luck – they would have to commit me!

I didn’t do much babywearing, but I did use the portable bassinet by First Years a ton http://www.thefirstyears.com/products/Product.asp?pValue=3073. I left the stand in our bedroom and I would just carry the bassinet downstairs in the morning and put it on the living room floor. This allowed DD1 to touch and talk to the baby at her level while keeping the baby safe at the same time.

nancy drew

02-16-2006, 12:21 PM

mamax2 i think i started wearing him facing out when he was about 3 months old. he had good head control before that, but he hated facing in so i just dismissed the mei tai for a while. then one day i just decided to try it and he loved it. i say try every now and then and see if it works. also, when she has good head control you can put her on your back. i can wear nathan on my back and he is almost 5 months old. of course he wont sleep in it, which doesnt help much when we are out and he is tired :rolleyes:.

tray one thing that works for us is all piling into the big bed and chilling out. dd has her fisher price magna doodle thing and i ask her to draw pictures of stuff (she scribbles but we pretend its what we asked her to draw) while i lie down and nurse ds. i dont get to sleep, but i do get some rest, ds gets fed, and dd gets my attention and she cant run away from me. when she gets bored with that sometimes i read books to her or turn on the tv and let her watch a show or two. in the beginning you really just have to be in survival mode and do whatever it takes to get needs met, even if it means watching tv all day or feeding your older child pretzels for breakfast. you know that it wont be that way forever, so theres no harm in having a few weeks of throwing out the rules and letting things go.

pullbuoy

02-16-2006, 12:40 PM

3 under 3?! You must be so organized! You have to tell us all your secrets.

Tray- my little guy is 2 months old now, and my oldest is 19 months. I think with 2 under 2 you do just have to relinquish your in control feeling, and act like a new mom. I fully admit I do not know what I am doing. We certainly didn't decide on this spacing because the first year would be so relaxing! But there will be such a tremendous payoff, and isn't it nice already having been through the baby year knowing what really is just a stage, and what you have to work on? I find that so comforting- knowing what I can let go of, so I only have to spend my energy where it's really needed. Only in the last week or so (10 weeks) have I been able to get back to my normal routine- going out 2 or 3 times a day, everybody bathed at night, sit down to dinner with Mr.Pullbuoy, etc. And really, that's not every day.

I think what's made the biggest difference for us is we started working on sleep SUPER early, putting our youngest down drowsy but awake to sleep(not CIO). It took a long time, about 5 weeks- I'm sure I would have given up if I hadn't seen first hand what sleep troubles lie ahead!- to see a payoff, but we have now, and that saves us oodles and oodles of energy. Not to mention everything is just better when you aren't sleep deprived.

Misty911

02-16-2006, 07:31 PM

3 under 3 will be coming soon and I pray everyday for the lord to give me the strength. ORGANIZE? what is that? My house is nothing but a toy box! Toys are everywhere. I get really tired and also stress out a lot thinking about another baby on the way soon. Then to add on to the stress my husband is leaving in August for Basic training for the military. So, I will be here by myself. I really do need a good support group. I'm going to join a group here locally so maybe that will help me. Any advice or tips would be greatly appreciated. I can't keep up with the laundry now, I just imagine how it is going to be when this new baby arrives.

Koala_Gurl

03-02-2006, 01:26 PM

Bumping up to re-ask the crib / toddler bed question...

DD will be 18 months when DC #2 is born. I am debating all of the options for cribs etc. I assume #2 will sleep in our room for at least about 6 weeks, but if I want to change DD into a different room, I want to do it soon, well in advance of the new baby, so that it isn't as huge a shock (and she seems easy going now, I would hate to wait to change her room later when she may not be so easy going.) :) I read the responses on the first page(s), so if you already replied thanks, but just wanted to see if there were any others with ideas / advice!

Thanks!

ManteoChik

03-02-2006, 01:53 PM

So my best friend confided in me yesterday that she and her DH (who already have a 6 month old DD) are planing to TTC again in September...their DD turns one on August 31st. They haven't told anyone but me and don't plan on telling anyone until she is at least three months PG. Since I have no kids, I don't have any advice to offer her.

So, for you mothers out there that have two kids under two (or right around there), what things did you do to make life easier that you would suggest for a new mother of two?

ajlanden

03-02-2006, 02:09 PM

Koala_Gurl-I am NO expert, but I think changing your DD soon would be a great idea. I see my DD growing less easy going by the minute.

So, for you mothers out there that have two kids under two (or right around there), what things did you do to make life easier that you would suggest for a new mother of two?

Great question! I would love to hear some answers. My kiddos will be 20-21 months apart.

pullbuoy

03-02-2006, 03:08 PM

Changing her room, yes, but I would think looooong and hard before moving her out of the crib and into a big girl bed. Especially with another one on the way. One nice thing about having them this close together is that they ARE more adaptable. We moved when my DD was 18 months and my DS was 6 weeks, and nobody minded at all (though my DD is very laid back for a toddler). So I think it's harder to make a mistake on that one.

The thing I want the most of is time. Things like massages and gift certificates to nice restaurants are as much an burden as a sweet thought- I really don't have the free hours to take advantage of them! I would suggest a cleaning service if she doesn't already have one, or some of those ready made meals- maybe a post partum doula if her DH can't take much time off. I have also used a sling this time, though I didn't last time. When they're close together, your toddler still needs lots of chasing, but you can't exactly explain to the baby that it would be more convenient if he'd wait to need to be held until the toddler has gone down for her nap. Best to just free up the hands.

jki

03-02-2006, 07:55 PM

Can anyone recommend a good white noise machine? This business of the kids waking each other up is driving me nuts.

Koala_Gurl: Is there any way you can borrow a crib? Or buy a cheap one? DS is still in his crib at 21 mos. and I am so thankful we purchased a second crib. He does 'crib time' twice per day - that gives me time to shower and do stuff. I am a big follower of Weissbluth and he says that you should not move your DC out of the crib until they ASK to move out. It just seems that most people experience issues with DC getting out of bed, walking around at night, etc. and this late in your pregnancy and after the new baby arrives, the most important thing is to minimize issues.

ManteoChik: Food. My playgroup brought food every M, W, F for a month and it was a godsend. No figuring out what to eat, no food shopping, no cooking, no cleaning up. Each person brought a FULL meal with plenty for leftovers. :)

Misty911

03-02-2006, 08:01 PM

ManteoChik: Food. My playgroup brought food every M, W, F for a month and it was a godsend. No figuring out what to eat, no food shopping, no cooking, no cleaning up. Each person brought a FULL meal with plenty for leftovers. :)

This would be my choice as well... very good suggestion!

TrulyBlessed

03-02-2006, 09:21 PM

Can anyone recommend a good white noise machine? This business of the kids waking each other up is driving me nuts.

I have this machine which has 10 different sounds. I have my DS room set on ocean noise & it works like a charm - DS sleeps through our house cleaners & landscapers. I also have the Vick's humidifier in conjunction with the white noise machine so he's got a lot of sound blocking out all kinds of noise. ;)

http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/P/B00008439C.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

I bought mine at amazon.com - it received pretty good reviews from other customers- but I also saw it at BRU the other day.

jki

03-02-2006, 09:25 PM

TrulyBlessed:
Thank you! :) Do you use it at night? If so, do you leave it on all night long? My only concern is that I don't want them to become dependent on a white noise machine!!

jki

03-02-2006, 09:25 PM

TrulyBlessed:
Thank you! :) Do you use it at night? If so, do you leave it on all night long? My only concern is that I don't want them to become dependent on a white noise machine!!

Koala_Gurl

03-02-2006, 09:44 PM

We have the "Tranquil Moments" (i think?) machine from Brookstone. It was $99 but I think it is worth it. The sounds are great (I can't wait to take it from her room for MY room) and there is a timer (30, 60, 90 min) and a feature that gradually shuts it down, so there isn't a sudden turning off of the noise.

There are about 12 sounds, and I like the rain and the stream noises the best.

(They have a travel version that is just as good for about $79. It is small, runs on batteries, and has a clock as well.)

TrulyBlessed

03-03-2006, 08:54 PM

TrulyBlessed:
Thank you! :) Do you use it at night? If so, do you leave it on all night long? My only concern is that I don't want them to become dependent on a white noise machine!!

Yup...use it whenever he's sleeping. My 28 month old DD has been waking up anywhere from 0-5 times a night crying for "mommy" so we needed to block out her crying. There are nights when I don't use it & he still sleeps through the night. He's always been a champion sleeper, thank goodness. This machine has a 60 minute timer option if you don't want it on all night.

tray622

03-03-2006, 08:57 PM

I agree with the pp who mentioned keeping the crib a bit longer. We are going to wait until it becomes more of an issue. With all the baby adjustment going on around here, it helps knowing that Zoey is safe in her bed and she feels secure that that is one thing unchanged.

neenbean

03-28-2006, 07:07 PM

I can finally post and say that we will have 2 kids under 2. :) We got our BFP this weekend and a confirmation from the blood test today. :)

I have a question about sharing rooms...
DD will be 20.5 months when this baby is due. We are planning to move (for DH's job) when she is 27 months and baby #2 is 6 months. In the meantime, we only have a 2 bedroom home and I do not want to co-sleep for more than 3-4 months. DD is VERY flexible and seems to go with the flow, however we are talking to her about things already and reading books about siblings to her, etc. We are very concerned about this transition and want to keep our flexible, happy little girl.

How have you handled this?

Should we...
~ buy the 2nd crib soon so DD is used to it in her room?
~ not worry about it and just get one soon after baby arrives and talk to her about baby sharing a room now?

I need any and all suggestions! Thank you!!!

usafwife

04-08-2006, 09:02 AM

Not expecting yet (trying to figure out when we'd like to have our second) but just interested in hearing from others if your first DC was around 22 months old when your second DC was born. Or if you could point me in the direction of a thread that could answer my questions.

I'd like for my DD to be able to interact with the pregnancy (be able to take belly shots with us, know what is going on, etc).

AlisonCO

04-09-2006, 12:51 PM

usafwife

04-10-2006, 07:51 AM

I am not sure why I stumbled in here (well both kids are sleeping and DH is at Home Depot:)) but usawife, my kids are 23 months apart and I would be happy to answer any questions you have or share my experience.
Thank you.

A couple of questions right now.

Was your first child able to interact with your pregnancy? Did they understand what was going on? How did they react? Did you tell them at the beginning or once you started to get a belly?

If you had morning sickness the first time, did you have it as bad the next time? I had it pretty bad (on several different meds and when one would stop working then we'd have to go on to another or do a combination of pills, couldn't leave the house and if I did I had to have something with me at all times, couldn't drive myself, couldn't cook, etc.). This is one of the things that worries me the most, being too sick to take care of DD, myself, the house, and our animals (we have a few animals that I do the primary care for because DH is really busy with work).

How did your older child react to the news of a sibling? And how did they act once the baby was born?

It seems that when people (some people) ask us when we think of having another and we tell them possibly next year they look at us like we should wait. I don't consider having our kids about 2 years apart having them one right after another. One person told us to wait about 4/5 years between them. We just kind of went okay but afterwards it really got to me that they tried to tell us how far apart to have our kids.

I grew up as an only child and always wished I had a brother or sister. DH was the oldest of 3 boys (DH is about 2 years older than his middle brother and 4 years older than his youngest brother).

usafwife

04-10-2006, 07:54 AM

Forgot a couple of others.

How much of an adjustment was to go to from one to two?

Any regrets? (i.e. should have waited longer, wish first was older, etc.)

Sal03

04-10-2006, 09:20 AM

I just found this thread. I have only been a mom of 2 under 2 a little over 2 weeks now but I'll play...

Was your first child able to interact with your pregnancy? Did they understand what was going on? How did they react? Did you tell them at the beginning or once you started to get a belly?

Our son had NO clue. Even once I was huge, he just learned to arrange himself on my lap around my belly. We got him a big brother book which he did not treat any differently than his other books. we did get him a baby doll so he learned the word baby and how to make "nice to baby".

If you had morning sickness the first time, did you have it as bad the next time? it was not as bad this time. With DS I threw up every day for 6 weeks. this time around I was just queasy and luckily DS plays VERY independantly so I would just lay on the couch and clap and cheer while he played.

How did your older child react to the news of a sibling? And how did they act once the baby was born? DD is only a few weeks old but DS has been amazing. He had so much fun at the hospital visiting because my family absolutely showered him with attention and he just ran around. Now he knows her name and runs up to her a few times a day and smiles at me then gives her a little pat on the head, face or chest. He hit her with a lego once by accident (my fault, he was trying to hand it to me and I did not block her well) and she cried and he looked SO sad and scared. it broke my heart so I think he does understand to be gentle with her and who she is. The first time she cried and DH was holding her he was so startled, I think he thought she was a doll until then, and he ran to me to be picked up. Now it is just like she was always here.

I think this is the benefit to having them so close together! He does not really understand and it is no time before it is just like she was always here with us. My son is also really easy going and good at sharing so I had a feeling he would not be jealous at this young age.

How much of an adjustment was to go to from one to two? not too bad so far. I mean it takes much longer to get out of the house but she sleeps MUCH better than DS did at the beginning so it helps that I am rested. and both kiddies are so good and sweet so it makes it easy. of course I have had to let the baby cry a few minutes a few times while I was changing the other one or feeding him dinner or something which made me feel bad but there is nothing you can do if you are alone! the first week was definitely a challenge trying to recover physically, make lots of time for the older child, deal with visitors and take care of a new baby but I am proud to say I think we got in a groove pretty fast. we had no choice!

Any regrets? (i.e. should have waited longer, wish first was older, etc.) none.

mittyrd

04-10-2006, 10:43 AM

Was your first child able to interact with your pregnancy? Did they understand what was going on? How did they react? Did you tell them at the beginning or once you started to get a belly?
Our son also had NO clue. I don't think he even noticed a difference in my belly. Even when I could no longer get on the floor to play, he would just bring all his stuff on the couch to play next to me.

If you had morning sickness the first time, did you have it as bad the next time? I didn't have any the 2nd time around and I had it the 1st time.

How did your older child react to the news of a sibling? And how did they act once the baby was born? My babies were in the hospital for 8 weeks before they came home so I don't think he knew what was going on. He knew something was going on but not what specifically. We spent a lot of time visiting them and that was an adjustment for DS since we were not around as much as usual or we did things separately for awhile (instead of bringing him to the hospital). When we finally brought the babies home, he cried for the first half hour and then moved on and seemed fine with them. The only time he got jealous was when I was holding a baby in the hospital and it was the first time he had seen him. Other than that, I got really good at doing 2 things at once i.e. feeding a baby and doing a puzzle with DS.

How much of an adjustment was to go to from one to two? We went from 1 to 3 :eek: and it's been an adjustment. We have a tight schedule in terms of supper, bath, bed, etc. in order to get everything done. We don't go out to eat anymore or just pick up and go out (shopping, etc.) The babies have been housebound due to their prematurity but I'm hoping that it will be better now that we can go out together.
Any regrets? (i.e. should have waited longer, wish first was older, etc.) If you asked me this 6-9 months ago I would have said wait a little longer (if I had known I was going to have twins) since my boys ended up being 20 months apart. But now, I'm glad to get it the hardest part over with and am glad that they will be so close in age. DS absolutely loves his brothers and I don't think now that he even remembers what it was like without them.

usafwife

04-10-2006, 11:39 AM

Sal and mittyrd ~ Thank you for your comments. How old were your first DC when your second (or 2nd and 3rd in mittyrd's case) was born?

AlisonCO

04-10-2006, 12:15 PM

Was your first child able to interact with your pregnancy? Did they understand what was going on? How did they react? Did you tell them at the beginning or once you started to get a belly?

DS was 14-23 months while I was pregnant and didn't really understand it at all. I had 2 peds tell me that most kids need to be 3.5-4 years old before they can really understand and be involved.

If you had morning sickness the first time, did you have it as bad the next time?

MS was worse the second time but not anything like you had. I was pretty nauseus for about 10 weeks. Luckily DS was happy to watch Sesame in the morning so I could lay down with my crackers:)

How did your older child react to the news of a sibling? And how did they act once the baby was born?

DS reacted so much better than I expected. He was a bit jealous and did hit DD once the 2nd day home, but overall has been an angel. He didn't do as much regression as I expected (asking for paci or bottle etc.) I think that the last 2 months of my pregnancy were way harder on him than actually bringing the baby home. I was miserable, anxious, tired etc and he picked up on that. Once she was home, we got into our routine and things really went back to "normal."

How much of an adjustment was to go to from one to two?

BIG adjustment! You just have no idea how easy it really is having just the one. I don't mean that at all to sound like it isn't hard having one but having the second when DS was 23 months was hard. Before DD we had our routine (I SAH) and we could just come and go as we wanted. When DD was a newborn it was pretty easy because I just wore her in a pouch sling and she would sleep. Now a 7 months old, I have 4 naps to try to plan things around (DD takes 3, DS takes 1). I think that was the hardest thing on DS was that because of DD, we couldn't do all of the classes etc that we did before - but because he was so young, I don't think that it was such a big dissapointment that it might be if your oldest was old enough to really understand what they were missing. Did that make sense?

Any regrets? (i.e. should have waited longer, wish first was older, etc.) Eghh - that is hard to say:) DD was not planned per say but we did know that we wanted 2 kids. I think that there are tons of pros and cons to having kids close together (as well as having them far apart.) DS is so sweet with DD and I think that by the time that they are ~3.5 and 1.5, that they will be able to play together and do things together.

Good Luck in your decision!

Sal03

04-10-2006, 12:17 PM

Oh sorry - forgot to mention age! He was just about 21 months when she was born

usafwife

04-10-2006, 04:09 PM

I'd like for DD to be able to understand that a new baby would be coming, like for her to be able to take belly pictures (if we do that with the next pregnancy), and realize that she would be getting a brother or sister.

I know that while I was pregnant with DD my nephew was 27-36 months old and he knew that my belly was getting bigger. We (his dad - DH's brother - and his wife and DH and I) would ask him if we were going to have a baby and he would say that we were going to go to the store and get it just his mom did with him. It wasn't until DD was born that he finally realized that it was a baby. Now you can't seperate them. He has never been jealous once in the past 9 months. He is always right there to get whatever supplies we need and always wants to hold her or sit next to the person that has her. And he is always bringing her a toy to play with. It's really cute.

Again, I thank you all for your comments and keep them coming.

mittyrd

04-10-2006, 05:36 PM

DS was supposed to be 23 months old when the babies were born but ended up being 20 months old when they were born and 22 months when they came home.

neenbean

04-10-2006, 05:59 PM

Thank you Sal03, mittyrd and Alison for sharing your situations!
I am 7 weeks pregnant with #2 and DD turned 1 last month. You are giving me hope and reassurance that we will be OK. Like others have mentioned about their oldest, DD is very easy-going and plays well independantly, so I am hoping she will continue to be this way after the baby is born.

portlandbride

06-08-2006, 07:17 PM

Now that my time for 2 under 2 is drawing near - I was wondering if any of you had read any good books about introducing the new baby to your current DC.

I guess I'm looking for parenting tips that you found helpful, as opposed to books for my current DD.

Make sense?

Thanks! :)

dal

06-09-2006, 06:17 AM

portlandbride Hi. Your kids will be 16 months apart? I think I calculated that right based on your sig. My daughters are 16.5 months apart. When my youngest was born, we just made sure to give our oldest a ton of attention and let her touch and be a big part of everything. The first day she had a little trouble once she realized Kailey was here to stay. But by the second or third day, she had mostly adjusted except when I would nurse Kailey. That took a couple of weeks. I just really think keeping the oldest child involved in the baby as much as possible and giving her lots of attention will do the trick. Especially since your oldest will be so young anyway. My oldest definitely doesn't remember life before her sister. Though they are now almost 3 and 1.5.

Good luck. It's so much fun having two so close in age. Hard at times but super fun and rewarding.

jmvan74

06-09-2006, 06:46 AM

This thread has been very helpful. I'm 7 weeks pg with #2. DS will be 19 months when #2 arrives. I was beginning to freak out a bit about how I would handle it. It will obviously be an adjustment, but people do it everyday, right? :D

Dettes

06-09-2006, 09:50 AM

Subscribing...

My kids are 14 mos apart. Now DS is 23 mos and DD is 9 mos. They're a lotta work but a whole lotta fun!:)

portlandbride

06-15-2006, 07:18 PM

dal thanks for the advice! If everything goes as planned, they will also be 16.5 months apart. Everything you said makes so much sense to me. I know DD#1 will still be a "baby" when DD#2 arrives and I don't want to cheat her out of that at all.
I am also worried about nursing - how DD#1 will handle it, but she probably doesn't even remember nursing since I lost my milk when she was about 9 months.
My biggest fear is bedtime. DD#1 is such a good sleeper now and I really hope that continues. My husband is a pilot, so when he is gone, he is usually gone for 3 - 4 days. I am a little concerned on how I will get the two of them to bed, but I'm sure it will work itself out. :)

tray622

06-15-2006, 07:50 PM

portlandbride My DD's are 16 months apart and I love it!! The first 3 months were really, really rough but now it is absolutely amazing. It may be corny and cliche, but it is the best thing we ever did! We had our oldest on a really good routine and when we got closer to having the baby, we began shortening her bedtime routine. That way it wouldnt be so hard if I was home alone. By about 3 months, we had dd #2 going to bed at the same time as #1 and life became a breeze :) Okay, a bit of exaggeration! Good luck :D

blondegirl

07-28-2006, 11:33 AM

Subscribing.

My little ones are 11 months apart. DD is 17 months, and DS is 6 months. I also have a 7 yr old. Everyone asks me how I do it, but it's really not that rough. DD is very loving with DS and she can entertain herself and play well independently when I need to care for or feed DS. They nap at different times, but bedtime is a breeze. DS to bed at 8, then DD shortly after.

I have to say having the babies so close together was a wonderful decision for us!

portlandbride

08-15-2006, 06:53 PM

tray622 thanks for your reply! It's really important for me to try and get DD2's bedtime to be the same as DD1's bedtime as soon as possible since my husband is a pilot and gone for 3 - 4 days at a time. That means bedtime is my duty all on my own A LOT. Right now DD1 goes to bed without much fuss and the routine is basically a story and a sippy of milk. A bath if she is dirty. As the time is approaching quickly I am starting to freak out a little! :)

Question - what type of monitor system do you all use? DD1 still has a monitor in her room so that I can hear her when she wakes up in the morning and from naps. I like to get to her when she is still in the talking to herself mode because if I wait too long she gets upset.
I also want a monitor for when DD2 takes a nap. For bedtime she will be in our room for a while (3 - 6 months I am thinking) but then will move to her own room.
Any suggestions?
Thanks!:)

njnewyearsbride

08-31-2006, 11:26 AM

looks like i'll be joining the club in february!

did any of you buy another glider to have in each kids room?

portlandbride

08-31-2006, 06:09 PM

njnewyearsbride - I don't keep my glider in DD#1's room, I keep it in the family room since that is where I spend most of my time.
That being said, I might get another one for the playroom since DD#1 is getting older and I anticipate us spending a lot of time down there this winter.
My husband is not too keen on shelling out the $$ though, so we would probably get a used one off of Craigslist or something.

ETA: Congratulations!

magdesilver

08-31-2006, 07:20 PM

nj- I am thinking of getting another one. I am thinking I will move the wood-frame into the new baby's room, and get a more grown-up (upholstered) looking glider for DD's room that she can use for years to come. That's what I'm thinking now, anyhow. I use it with her a lot- to read, rock her, hang out in her room, etc. I know I would miss it a lot if there wasn't one in there.

We are watching a friend's 21 month old tonight and maybe tomorrow night (she's being induced with her #2, who knows how long it might take!). Let me just say, I am sooo pooped right now! Dinner, bath, and bed is not easy with 2 toddlers!

neenbean

09-01-2006, 12:55 PM

We never bought a glider for DD#1, but used a loveseat in her nursery and a rocker/recliner in our LR. The loveseat has worked VERY well, especially when DH joins us for stories at bedtime. However, we did get a rocker (cushioned like the PB ones) for our DC#2. It will be in our bedroom to use if necessary. We already love it as DD sits with either DH or me for cuddling or stories. It is so convenient to have options in all rooms you spend time with your little one.

ajlanden

09-11-2006, 11:47 AM

I am a new mom of 2 under 2. I thought about this thread because I was so nervous about the transition to 2 and really was seeking people to share their experiences with me before DS was born. I posted this in my LJ last week and thought I would share here, in case it would help anyone. It is full of the good and bad stuff, so please don't read if you don't want to hear the not so fun stuff! :) (Overall it is great though!)

Cross posted from LJ...
thoughts are what are right for MY family. I mean in no way to say that what is right for us is right for everyone. If anyone has specific questions, please ask. I know that I was a nervous wreck thinking about the first month. I will be as candid as possible. I am excited to see how my thoughts change in the upcoming months!!!
(please excuse any typos...Dani is pulling on my arm and David is now crying!!)

Labor:
I know that I was probably very lucky, but it really seemed like my body remembered exactly what to do. Differences…I was 4 cm at my doctor’s appointment the morning I went into labor and was already at 6 when I got to the hospital (I was only 2 when I was induced and it took forever to get to 6). I received my epi before I was in really awful pain (last time they broke my water at 4 cm and the pain was horrible for about an hour before I got the epi). I pushed through three contractions and BAM, he was out. (I pushed for 41 minutes).

Physical Recovery:
I am sure the physical recovery had a lot to do with the easy labor, but it was far easier than with Dani. I barely tore, so I was sore for about 4-5 days. With Dani I remember leaking urine every time I had to pee for weeks. This time I never did.  I was not religious with kegels with either of them. We actually DTD the other night and it didn’t even hurt!! I waited for so long after Dani and it hurt for a long time!!

Mental Adjustments:
I have had some baby blues this time, but I do think the first time was harder for me. The adjustment from 0-1 kid was harder than to 2. I think I was more ready for the sleep deprivation, although how ready can you really be?

My biggest worry before David came was how Dani would be. She is probably worse than I imagined. Strangely enough though, I don’t feel that bad. I know that having a sibling is a really good thing for her. And that her acting out just reinforces that to me. She needs to learn that the world does not revolve around her and this baby is making her learn it at an early age than most. Granted, I have shed some tears because I want to make this easier on her, but we are coping. Another awesome thing is that Doug has given me much time to spend alone with her. That helps a bunch.

The good, the bad and the ugly (read at your own risk):
The good…
Another thought before David arrived was that I wouldn’t love him like I love Dani. Well, I was right. Not in the way that I thought. I imagined I would either love him or just want to be with Dani all the time. Not the case. I love Dani with all my heart and soul and I do David, as well. But it is such a different kind of love. I can’t even put it into words. Dani is my girl…always will be. She can give me kisses, hugs and show affection. David is so reliant on me for everything, but really gives nothing in return. I don’t really know if my love feels so different because of those reasons or if I will always feel that way because they are different kids. All I know is my heart is full. I love my kids so much. I wouldn’t trade them for the world.

The bad…
Damn, this is hard. Trying to deal with the two of them at once is so overwhelming to me. When they are both crying I feel like I am going to totally lose it. And forget about going anywhere without Doug. I am WAY too scared (although we all did go to the library this morning). I am scared about getting them both ready for school and still getting to work on time. David spends way more time crying than Dani did, just because I only have two hands. It makes me feel bad, but what can I do. I can’t imagine what I would do without a supportive hubby.

The ugly…
Sleep deprivation is hard with a toddler. I don’t know how my body is continuing to function. Dani is so on-the-go. When she is home, I am exhausted. When she is not home I am trying to clean up all her messes. It is so tough.

Overall…
I am still longing to find some routine in our life again. I didn’t know I would miss it so much. I know that it will come with time, so I just need to wait. I hate to wish this time away, but I really am. BUT….all-in-all I am happy. I think having two kids is amazing. With all the tears and lack of sleep, I am thrilled we will have two kids this close in age. I am a lucky momma!!

jenjen0713

09-11-2006, 11:57 AM

ajlanden - Thanks for posting the good, bad and ugly of having 2 under 2! I'll be having #2 when DS is 16 months old and I'm getting more and more apprehensive as each days goes by, wondering how I'm going to handle it. DS is such a good baby, that I worry #2 will be such a handful and DS will be "neglected" somehow.

neenbean

09-11-2006, 05:41 PM

ajlanden~ I appreciate your candid post! There are times when I am totally freaked about our decision to have 2 under 2, and moments that I know we will get through it and be happy with our situation. Thank you for sharing your "Good, Bad and Ugly" moments. I am sure everyone has them- just different reasons. I know both children will feel left out at times, but us moms can only be one place at a time. I hope you find the routine you long for soon! :)

marchfamily

09-13-2006, 05:59 AM

When they are both crying I feel like I am going to totally lose it.

I have these moments too! You are still pretty early into it...it does get easier.

My girls are 16 months apart and its getting easier everyday. I am SO VERY happy we went this route!

Kiley

09-14-2006, 10:59 AM

WOHM w/ 2 under 2........what's it like? what are the differences now w/ 2 in daycare, bedtime routine, nursing, spending time with each, etc.?

ajlanden

09-14-2006, 11:13 AM

marchfamily-Thanks! I appreciate that word of hope! :)

Kiley-i just went back to work this week, so I would be interested in that as well. Here is what I have learned in my 3 days! :)

I know that my house is a disaster after just one week back. I figure I will pick up this weekend.

I am definately look forward to the two of them bathing together. For the time being I give DD a bath and do her bedtime routine and then bathe DS. It is so time consuming. I do feel a little sad that I don't get as much time with DD, when I come home. I feel like I am feeding and soothing the little one and DH gets the good play time with Dani. At least I still get bath time.

The biggest change that I have noticed is that DH has to help out a lot more when we all get home. No longer does he sit on the couch while I give DD a bath. We are both constantly doing something.

I was most scared for the mornings. So far they have been really easy. I do have to leave the little one crying sometimes while I get Dani ready, but it hasn't been to bed. HTH!!

Anyone else?

tray622

09-14-2006, 09:23 PM

Kiley Honestly the first 3 months were a huge change in everything but once the new baby thing calmed down it hasnt been a dramatic change. For bedtime I am alone and give both girls a bath and then I dress my oldest and out her in her crib with a book and her stuffed bear. I then sit in the glider and feed the baby. She gets put down and they talk to eachother and go to sleep. Mornings are a bit rougher but as long as I am ready before they get up, we are good ;) DH is here in the morning though so it is easier. We still find plenty of time to spend with the kids. I sometimes feel like I get more quality time with my oldest because the baby naps more so during the weekends it is a couple of hours of Zoey time. Truth be told, I get sad sometimes that I miss out on so much one-on-one with Jocey. Honestly... it is easier than I ever imagined. Dont get me wrong, it is hard but it is okay. Just dont expect it to be smooth right away, it will get there though.

Kanga

09-17-2006, 11:28 AM

Joining - dd will be 16 months old when #2 arrives. I spend most of my time wondering how I'm going to survive the first few months.

blondegirl

09-19-2006, 10:48 AM

kiley- I am also returning to work on MOnday, so I would be interested to hear other responses!!

Likw ajlanden said, I am very worried for the mornings. I'm wondering how I will ever get ready for work and get the babies ready and fed. I have to also get my 7 year old ready for sscool. As it is now, I don't shower until the afternoon most days!!

kanga- Don't be too worried! Aside from the total sleep deprivation, the first few months for me were really the easiest!! I didn't start getting totally stressed put until a few months ago, and alot of that wasn't even from the babies! (My little ones are only 11 months apart.)

firefly

09-19-2006, 10:57 AM

Hey bg I just wanted to say hi!! our feb group is sorta gone so Hi and congrats on your son.

blondegirl

09-19-2006, 11:13 AM

Thanks firefly! He is such a joy! Our feb group isn't very active anymore, where did everyone go??? How are your girls doing??

marchfamily

09-19-2006, 06:20 PM

Honestly the first 3 months were a huge change in everything but once the new baby thing calmed down it hasnt been a dramatic change.

I feel this way too. The first few months were pretty tough. I was on constant baby duty, while hubby was chasing our DD. Now, we still divide and conquer, but I feel like life has already slipped into a loose routine.

Someone mentioned loving the first versus the second. I almost hate to admit it.....but in many ways, I love my second so much differently. I love the cuddle time my toddler won't have with me. I love the everything new of the 4 month old baby. My toddler is so independent that it's nice to be needed.... Of course, seeing the world through my toddler's eyes is cool too!

ajlanden

09-21-2006, 03:13 PM

Someone mentioned loving the first versus the second. I almost hate to admit it.....but in many ways, I love my second so much differently. I love the cuddle time my toddler won't have with me. I love the everything new of the 4 month old baby. My toddler is so independent that it's nice to be needed.... Of course, seeing the world through my toddler's eyes is cool too!

Interesting. I tend to be the opposite. I love my little guy, but I know I spend way to much time wishing he wasn't so little and helpless. Don't get me wrong, he is a joy, but it seems like it will be much easier in 6 months. :)

I love this thread!!

New observation on 2 under 2.
Live is so complicated and busy, especially now that I am working. I told DH last night, if I knew how crazy it would be three months ago, I would've been so nervous. Strangely enough though, I am enjoying every minute of it. The chaos is almost comforting. It is like this is how my life was meant to be. Man, I love my kids.

neenbean

10-19-2006, 10:56 AM

Anyone have success flying/traveling with your newborn and toddler?

We will be taking a family trip in January- DC#2 will be 6-7 weeks old, DD will be 22 months. DH and I are trying to decide what kind of trip to take and I would love input! Our top 2 choices right now: Disney Cruise (3 nights) or a visit to see DH's grandmothers in GA. We would love the ease of a cruise, but are we asking for too much by stuffing the 4 of us in a cabin for 4 days? A week with his grandmothers is not ideal, but we want them to meet the baby and get to see DD as she grows. They do not know about our plans yet, but typically when we visit they do not want to do much more than go out for lunch and sit at home....:o

The idea of a cruise came about when we decided we would want some warm weather mid-winter as we live in the northeast and get lots of snow.

Does anyone have experiences to share? PLEASE give me your 2 cents! TIA! :D

lil_nance

10-27-2006, 07:59 PM

I remember seeing this thread before I got pg. Finally found it again thank goodness. DS will be 21mo when #2 arrives. I'm going to go and read all the previous posts. :)

magdesilver

10-27-2006, 08:53 PM

neen- I don't know that I would do either of those trips you are describing- but if I had to choose, I'd go see family. I would not want to be all crammed into a small cruise-ship cabin with 2 small kids. Maybe your DD is an awesome sleeper (moreso than mine, who I think is a great sleeper actually!) but I know my DD would not do well sleeping in the same room with just DH and I, much less adding a newborn into that with the nighttime feedings and erratic sleep schedule. Plus even though it's Florida, it's still pretty cool in January IMO to be swimming and stuff like that. With a newborn I'd prefer to be able to relax and hang out. And 6-7 weeks is prime fussy "wake-up" time for many newborns. We will likely be travelling to FL in March with DD who will be 23 months and DS who will be around 8 weeks, and we will be spending most of the time at the in-law's hanging out, which is fine by me :). I think a cruise would be more appropriate when your DC#2 is a few months older, honestly.

neenbean

11-13-2006, 06:34 PM

magdesilver~ we ended up booking the trip to visit DH's grandmothers. Fortunately, we got direct flights, so that will help a little bit, however, we have a 4 hour drive between their homes. :o DC#2 will be 8 weeks during our travel time. DD#1 will sleep in her own room during the longer portion of our stay (in a hotel/condo), which should also help. I plan to lay low and no do too much during the entire week. Hopefully, the weather will be warm enough that we can head to the pool, but I doubt it- being January and all. :rolleyes:

Now that we know the cruise is a financially feasible option with the Disney Cruise lines, we definitely plan to do that in the next couple years. They have very affordable child care so that we would be able to enjoy a couple child-free dinners, too. ;)

I am starting to panic a bit as DC#2 is to arrive in less than a week. I have a repeat c/s scheduled for next Monday and am excited and nervouse. Baby is breech, so our plans for the c/s are now completely definite but I am scared of the recovery and dealing with DD (20 months). Over the past couple months, I have been making a point to encourage her to do a lot independantly and not be carried. She thrives with the independance and DH and I are very proud that she enjoys it. I worry she will revert and not act as capable as soon as baby comes home... Any suggestions???

I will have DH home to help for 2.5 weeks and my mom will be here to stay with DD while I am in the hospital.

mittyrd

11-14-2006, 04:33 PM

Neenbean: My DS was also 20 months old when the babies were born. I had a repeat c/s and the 2nd c/s was so much easier than the first. I was up out of bed the first day and felt well enough to do anything within a couple of weeks. DS surprised us and did so well with the babies. I thought he would regress and basically be a PIA but he seemed to understand so much more than I gave him credit for before. Good luck!!

neenbean

11-14-2006, 05:23 PM

DS surprised us and did so well with the babies. I thought he would regress and basically be a PIA but he seemed to understand so much more than I gave him credit for before. Good luck!!
Thank you! I really hope DD will continue to keep her great attitude and be flexible and understanding. She likes when I hold babies and is never jealous, so that gives me hope. Who knows how it will be when the baby does not go away, though. :o

tray622

11-14-2006, 07:46 PM

My DD's are 16 months apart and all I can advise is to not have too many expectations of how things will go. It will be challenging and some days extremely rough, but being flexible and knowing that those days are just days and not forever helped me get through it. Plus, the slightest things (like DD kissing the baby w/o prompting) will make all the rough patches seem so insignificant. Good luck and it will be wonderful :)

neenbean

11-15-2006, 03:01 AM

tray~ the total pesimist in me is expecting the worst, but hoping for slightly better. Fortunately, I will have help for a few weeks, then it is just me with the 2 of them... Thank you for your words of wisdom.

Txfish

11-18-2006, 09:25 AM

Hi, joining up -- my DD's will be 5.5 years and 13.5 months when Thing 3 arrives. And I'm absolutely terrified, especially because he/she is due right when school is letting out for the summer... yikes! DD1 is not easily controlled on the best of days, let alone when bored and around the house all day.

Appreciating all the input so far -- glad to hear so many of you are settling in well after 2-3 months. Although that seems like a lifetime of drama, tantrums, and no sleep to me.

Luckily baby 2 (Whitney) is really easy and very well-scheduled so hopefully that sticks and works to my favor with a brand new little one around. I think my biggest concern has been that she(DD2) is going to get the worst of this deal, because she's not getting all the one-on-one baby time that DD1 got. I'm not worried at all about Baby 3 -- I guess because I know that the baby of the family never really gets ignored LOL

I'll tell you this, my dh better take some time off work with this one!! He took approximately 1.5 days when Whit was born -- he went in for half a day the day after she was born, half a day the next day, and half a day before coming to take us home from the hospital. :rolleyes: So not cutting it this time LOL

kenswife

11-19-2006, 09:38 AM

Txfish - I can sympathize! My first 2 are just shy of 5 years apart. My younger two are 18.5 months apart. I'd say we've just started to settle in now at 2 months. There were some rough patches but nothing major. Luckily, #3 is a pretty good sleeper so I haven't had the sleep deprivation issues. Thank goodness.

I also hear you on DH. I think I may beat you though.....my DH worked a couple hours after #3 was born ;) However, he owns his own business so I guess he can slide......just a little :p It would have definitely helped to have him around a little more though.

blondegirl

11-20-2006, 09:21 AM

Txfish-First of all, Congrats!!

I may be the oddball here, but my youngest are 11 months apart, and I didn't think it was rough at all! DD2 wasn't even walking when DS was born. I stressed alot before he was born, how was I going to do it by myself, etc. But it really wasn't that bad! (DH works crazy hours and is gone most of the day, leaving me home with all the kids myself from about 9:30am-10pm.) My oldest is now 7, and I would have to say she is my most difficult child! I guess it happens as they get older!

DH took off the day DS was born, I had a c-section. I had family with me the day I came home from the hospital (DH HAD to work :rolleyes: after he brought me home from the hospital) and I had random family stop by here and there for the first couple of weeks. Luckily, DH helped out alot with the cleaning/cooking (he is a chef, afterall!!) until I really got back on my feet and in the swing of things.

Now, DS is 10 months, DD2 is 21 months and they play together and it is so sweet! DD2 gets all the same attention she got before DS was born, we make sure she doesn't get treated like a middle child! Somehow, I've managed to show equal attention to all 3 kiddies! I've recently gone back to work, but other than a few minor meltdowns here and there, staying home with the 2 little ones was a joy. I totally wouldn't change a thing in regards to how close they are in age. (I may wish for a DH who is more helpful, but we all know that won't happen!! :D )

kimthebride

11-26-2006, 08:16 PM

Subscribing!

Here's my deal:
- DS will be 22mo when DC#2 is due in April
- I have had severe m/s and a pretty ill pregnancy since I got my BFP
- We have our condo up for sale and will buy a house in the 'burbs once we sell...all while pg
- We fly at least 4-5 round trips a year to visit Dh's family and do a 4 hour drive 3-4x a year to visit mine, so I'll be searching for tips

I am normally a planner, but feel like i have been juggling so much (active toddler, unexpected m/s, selling & buying our home) that I've almost been in denial this pregnancy. Very unlike me! So now I am here and reading along and seeing what I can do to make this trnasition a smooth one. :)

njnewyearsbride

11-28-2006, 09:27 AM

looking for advice / suggestions

DD will be 21 months when #2 is born - we're not finding out the sex of #2 (although that would make our life easier - but why would we want to do that)

DD was also a surprise so her room was painted a nice light/sky blue. it also shares a wall with our bedroom and is right next door.
the other bedroom in our house is now a plumy purple color - perfect for a girl, but not so much for a boy. its close to our bedroom but would be a little more isolated from the noise of a newborn.

our dilemma - do we
a. move DD into the other bedroom now and have that be her big girl room
b. wait til #2 is here and if its a boy move her then
c. don't move DD at all and just paint the other room.

how traumatic would it be for her to move after the baby is here rather than before the baby?

lil_nance

11-28-2006, 10:55 AM

njnewyearsbride DS will also be 21mo when #2 arrives. We're planning on transitioning him to his big boy room and big boy bed after the holidays. He'll be 18mo. Our nursery is gender neutral and we didn't want to decorate a second nursery. I'm hoping it goes smoothly but I'm open to getting a second crib if need be. I think it's easier to transition pre #2 or wait until after #2 has been around for a bit. Tranisitioning and accepting a new sibling is a lot of change for a toddler. Of course I haven't had any real life experience yet so who knows.

blondegirl

11-28-2006, 11:35 AM

njnewyearsbride-My DD was much younger than yours, but we moved her to her new room before DS was born. We also got her a new crib (she was only 11 months old when DS was born). She adjusted well. The nursery was the best room for the baby, so we moved DD and painted her new room. Like lil nance said, changing rooms and getting used to a new sibling is alot for a toddler.

tray622

11-28-2006, 02:48 PM

I need help. My oldest is 2 and is so good with babies... gentle and helpful, but I swear she hates her sister :( She will give hugs and kisses but holy moly watch out if Jocey even crawls near a toy. I dont know what to do. I cant leave them for a minute out of absolute fear Zoey will hurt her. She will literally take a toy and slam it on Jocey's head. We do the timeout thing, taking the toy away, and it isnt working. I can prevent when I am there and can handle it okay but it breaks my heart in two. In the morning Zoey will see DH and say, "jocey's dada, my tracy." Yes she is weird and likes to call me tracy! It has been a month or so of this consistently and it makes me so sad. I hate being in the car with them because they are both crying since Zoey cant have a thing without hitting Joce and Joce is crying because Zoey's hand is somehow hitting some part of her body. The thing is Zoey does not lash out at anybody else. Preschool adores her and labels her the easiest kid ever and I just dont get it.

jmvan74

02-03-2007, 06:11 AM

tray: I hope you have found some way to help Zoey vent her frustration w/ out hurtng Jocey. :( I wish I had some advice, but I think I'm on the verge of the same problem.

Well, I'm officially the mom of 2 under 2. DS#1 is almost 20 months and DS#2 is almost 3 weeks old. This week was the first time I was alone w/ both of them. It wasn't as horrible as I expected, but it was a bit overwhelming to take care of both of their needs. Especially when they wanted something at the same time. It seems they both woke up at the same time and needed to eat. I made the decision to get Collin (#1) fed first and then sit down and nurse Brady while Collin ate. Worked pretty well. I just need to get in to a routine.
I do need to be very watchful of Collin b/c he has started whining and throwing things. He was throwing his toys in the pack n play while Brady was in there! Luckily, it was nothing hard and I caught him quickly. He also tried to be helpful and put a blanket on Brady. Only he dropped it right on his face! :eek: I feel so bad b/c Collin is still a baby as well. I'm trying not to get upset at him. He just needs to learn that he can hurt the baby if he's not gentle. I guess w/ time things will settle down a bit.

April1234

02-03-2007, 11:12 PM

Now that DD turned 2 (in Nov) and DS is almost 9 months old I can honestly say that it really hasn't been all that bad. I stay home with them and DH works A LOT and is gone 13 out of 14 days from 5am-12-1am. Honestly, I get more sleep then he does because I lucked out when it came to good sleepers.

I truly enjoy everyday I have with both of them and it is amazing to me how loving they are twords eachother. Of course DD was only 18 months when DS came and was still a baby herself. She would try and "help" me with DS and end up tugging him to hard etc but she learned in due time. She has ALWAYS been very very protective of him and still is. From the 2nd day of his life when the nurse came to do the hearing screening she freaked and yelled out for me and now that she is older and her vocabulary is much more broad she tells it like it is. We walk into a store or anywhere and she acknowledges whoever is there saying "This is Nolan, don't touch him please" and smiles and is on her way.:o :p I feel bad for his future girlfriends.

I find myself being glad he wasn't another girl because if he even acts like hes going to go play with her barbie,tea cup,mermaid etc. She runs ahead of him(hes only crawling) grabs it up and tells him no. Although, she is all.over. his toys no matter what. At least that will out grow itself out as he becomes interested in more 'boy' toys.

Im not saying everything is perfect and I have surely had my days where everything is going wrong,they are both cranky and/or teething but in the end I would not have it any other way. Actually we are going for the 3 under 3 right now. :o

My motto around here is "This to shall pass.." LOL

kindermom

02-04-2007, 03:46 AM

April - My sisters two are 14 months apart - DD is older, DS is younger. Her DD got out of the incredible do not touch my toy phase around 2.5 although it is not completely gone yet.

Thanks ladies for posting that 2 under 2 is not neccessarily awful. We were aiming for DD to be 2 when #2 came. But we were blessed with a #2 n the first try and now they will be 19 months apart.

Question: What did you do to prepare the new sibling? DD does not understand why my belly is so big. And she links everyone has a "Henry." I am getting some toys for her to bring out slowly when he comes and will get something form the aby to her. But other than that, wast anything useful? I will be EBF so I will end up being preoccupied alot inthe beginning and DH will not be available to help much for the first month due to a major project he is on.

Sebski

02-04-2007, 06:52 AM

deleted

kmmommy

02-04-2007, 07:19 AM

Sebski ~ First off, congratulations! I'm sure it's scary but so exciting! I'd suggest to look at college's with early childhood development majors (or similar) as it will look good on their resume and they will be probably be very good with your kids.

Good luck with those babies. Happy growth thoughts so they stay about the same size. :)

kimthebride

02-04-2007, 07:32 AM

I joined a while back, but am now getting a little more focused on the fact that in less than 75 days I am going to have 2 under 2. Yikes.

We have been trying to sell our condo and move before DD comes, but alas that window of opportunity os over. :( But at least I can now try to stay optimistic about selling our place before she comes, so once she is here (and our apartment is totally cluttered with baby gear, a double stroller, etc) I no longer have to do showings & Open Houses. Fingers crossed, ladies.

I came up with a huge To Do/To Buy/To Dig Out Of Storage list and will be going through this thread during the 12 hours of pre-Superbowl shows today to see if there is anything i missed. Looking forward to seeing all your wisdom!

Oh, and I too am thinking about the PPs question about how to prepare such a young DS for getting a baby sister. He doesn't 'get' that there is a baby in my belly...he just thinks I am a really good shape now for sitting on and leaning back against :rolleyes: .

mamax2

02-04-2007, 07:40 AM

I'm not in the 'club' here, but I saw Sebski had posted and just wanted to offer you a HUGE DOUBLE congrats. We were in the Dec '05 thread together and I just want to wish you all the best in the world with your growing family.

jmvan74

02-04-2007, 07:44 AM

April: Glad to hear a positive story. I'm looking forward to the day my boys can play together.

Sebski: We hired a mother's helper to come in 2 afternoons a week. I actually found her on the website... gonannies.com It's not an agency, but a way to find people looking for that kind of work. She is a college student and has been absolutely wonderful! I'm so grateful for the help b/c DS#2 wants to nurse all day long so I feel like DS#1 is getting the short end of the stick.

Kindermom, Congrats and good luck!

preparing older child: There really was no way I could prepare my nearly 20 month old for the change. I did carry around a doll and play w/ DS and the doll. I also let him play w/ the doll. Of course, he was pulling it by it's hair and throwing it on the floor. :rolleyes: Now, I'm just trying to encorporate Collin in to the care of Brady by asking him to help get diapers, etc. It's not going too well, yet, but I'm hopeful. :)

LexyLou

02-04-2007, 08:05 AM

Sebski- I highly recommend a mother's helper or nanny a couple days a week too. My across the street neighbors just had twin girls also and also has two older kids (5 and 3). She has a mother's helper 3 days a week for 4 hours a day.

It's helpful for her because she can leave the girls with the mother's helper for just 30 min-1hr 30 min so she can pick or drop off her older kids from school/pre-school without having to tote the babies around she can also spend some alone time with them.

I think it would be great for you because you could still do a Gymboree or gym type class with DS and maybe have the mother's helper come along so that she can sit with the girls while you spend some time alone with DS but stilll have the girls in view.

Even if you think you don't have the money for a mother's helper, I say cut other things and find a way. I really think it will help you feel more in control.

Hawaii2SJ

02-04-2007, 08:37 AM

April Your post made me smile this morning:) My DS will be 18 months when DD arrives and I'm so nervous about whats to come. I love that she says "this is Nolan, don't touch him please" LOL

Sebski Twins!! congratulations! I have the groceries dellivered sometimes and when DD arrives in May it looks like we'll be doing that from then on. I am also considering a mother's helper but I'm so nervous about how to find a good person for the job. We even looked into a part time toddler program twice a week but I think I may want Aiden to adjust to his new sister before throwing him into a new routine right when she arrives.

I'll be following along because I'd like all the suggestions I can get to prep DS for the big arrival in May. I feel like I'm robbing him of his alone time with me since he recently has this thing where he will drop what hes doin and come cuddle with me :o How am I suppose to BF DD AND focus on DS too? From what I remember with DS it took me 45min to BF in the begining.

Sebski

02-04-2007, 08:49 AM

deleted

April1234

02-04-2007, 07:05 PM

UGH! One word of advice...SBS strollers are fabulous in the very beginning but now...SHEESH! I spent the day at the mall with the kids and they are at the ages where they are interacting with eachcother constantly. 90% of the time its super cute as Lily tries to make him laugh and the both crack up in the back of the van enamored in their "secret" language. However, there are days in which the SBS maginifies every little thing. He pulls her hair as shes trying to lean as far away from him as possible so he doesnt steal her cookie or hes eating her boot,shes making sure his seat belt is tight so he doesnt fall out(she mothers him more than I do) and he gets pissed because shes in HIS space. LOL I just have to laugh because they truly look annoyed at one another.

I am currently waiting for the new Graco Duo to come out in a couple of weeks because these kids cannot sit SBS anymore.

sebski,CONRATS! My DH has always wanted twins but I alway stell him he would be staying home with them. ;) I completely agree with PPs on egtting a mothers helper. I think it would really help out a lot to have some time to spend with your DC#1. Im glad you found us over here.

Kim and Kindermom, I didnt really do much preparing. Lily is a very laid back child so I was just hoping she wouldnt be jealous(and she wasnt and never has been thank goodness) She 'knew' mommy had a baby in there and we did get her a babydoll but she didnt show much interest. We talked about Nolan all the time and let her help us paint the nursery a little and help decorate. In the beginning when he was jaundice and having trouble gaing weight I was on a rough schedule with pumping and BFing all.the.time. I had help with DH and my mom. I also bought some sticker books etc for things I could play with her one handed. I prepared her sippys in the morning while up BFing Nolan and put her snacks in baggies. She had her own little drawer in the fridge and knew that at any time she could go get herself a snack without me having to stop Nolan from BFing. Although, I will never forget having to carry a 2 week old football style BFing down the hall to put her in time out. LOL Awww those were the days.;)

jmvan, Ya know, I will never forget the day we were driving in the van and the just started belly laughing together. I almost cried.:rolleyes: :) They really are a joy.

Lexylou, I had no idea you were expecting! I see you in Amies journal over on LJ some. CONGRATS!

Hawaii, Im so glad that it made you smile. I was worried about how things were going to go. I think its only natural to freak out a little but I can honestly say that I have never regretted a second. It really is hilarious to see the look on peoples faces when she does it. She even rubs Nolans head as she does it to make sure they understand the boundaries. LOL

ETA: If any of you are on LJ I am April1234 over there too. Feel friend me, then you can really see how day to day is with my 2.

blondegirl

02-05-2007, 07:23 AM

Sebski-First of all, congrats!! I have to second what others have said - a mother's helper is definately a great idea! We had a mother's helper for a month when DS was born (DS and DD are only 11 months apart and I also have a 7 yr old) so I needed all the help I could get!! DH was only able to take so much time off of work, and family only stayed for so long!! She was such a blessing, I wished we could have had her come everyday!! I never left ours alone with the younger kids, but she did pickup/drop off my oldest at school/activities. I could have left her alone, since we used an agency, and I felt confident with her, but I had a cs and didn't feel much like venturing out! She prepared meals, cleaned up, bathed DD, played with the kids.

jjohm

02-05-2007, 08:55 AM

joining~
just found out that we will be expecting during DS's first bday. so they will be about 20 months (?) apart.

kindermom

02-05-2007, 10:11 AM

Congrats jjohm! Welcome to the club.

blondegirl

02-05-2007, 10:15 AM

Congrats jjohm!! and welcome! (my fellow Jan 06 member!!)

pullbuoy

02-05-2007, 10:33 AM

Welcome to all the new 2 under 2'ers! As an alum (my kids are 2.5 and 14 months now), I can say you're in for a ride! But right now I am SO glad my kids are so close together- they play together so smoothly, and are each other's best friends. And it's so much easier for us to do things than my friends who are just diving back into the whole newborn thing. We're a great little unit, now.

Sebski- As luck would have it, I actually know several people in your position (not identicals, fraternal/IVF multiples, but that doesn't really make a difference in how many diapers you have to change, right? :p ), including two people with triplets and a 2 year old. :eek:

Do you have craig's list in your area? Are you even marginally affiliated with a church? A couple of my friends had only the barest association with local churches, and found the congregation to be a rich source of little old ladies who wanted to come by and hold a baby while mom slept/hung out with their toddler/nursed the other twin. For a mother's helper (at least 3 days a week if you can manage it at all, and they've all said the two most difficult times are morning- getting everyone dressed and fed breakfast/snack and evening- getting everyone bathed/pj'd/fed when they are at their crankiest) I'd check craig's list or a local college. If there's a multiple's group anywhere near you, they will know of nannies who are experienced with multiples, which makes a HUGE difference. It's a lot of chaos, and has a high burnout rate for people not used to it- you don't want to get left in the lurch when your twins are 7 weeks old because your nanny is overwhelmed, you know? You also might be surprised at how much a shy kid can enjoy a preschool setting(my shy kid loves it!). First off, at this age they change so much so fast that he'll be a different kid in 6 months. And also I think it's so nice for the older kid to have something *just their own* set in place before the younger ones come in. But that could just as easily be the mother's helper.

Take as much help as you can get! I know it sounds awfully privileged to nearly insist on you paying for some help, but I'd really worry about a person expecting multiples with an older kid without a rock solid support system. I know this is awfully personal, but all of my friends with multiples have ended up with PPD, so you might want to keep an eye out for that, too. I only had 2 under 2 (17 months apart), and I think I did myself a real disservice thinking I should "be able to do it myself; it's just two children. After all I am at home, surely I can at least take care of my offspring." Ha. Dumb. It's hard enough taking care of two kids without a martyr complex on top.

It sounds like you are doing a great job starting to prepare yourself, and I think with some planning this can be a great experience for you- it's just worth acknowledging that it's not like bringing home one baby to an empty house.

blondegirl

02-05-2007, 10:56 AM

Sebski- I wanted to second what pullbuoy said about shy kids and preschool. I was a SAHM until DD was 18 months. SHe was never left with anyone other than grandma, was very shy, screamed if anyone tried to hold her - even if I was right there. She didn't kile strange things, people, etc. She was VERY attached to me. I was terrified when I returned to work, I feared she would scream all day at daycare. To my surprise, she loved it! Even if it's just for a few hours one day a week, I think it's great for kids to have that interaction with other kids there age. Maybe you could start your DS in a little program before the twins arrive, so he's not adjusting to too many changes at once. Just something to think about if it's something that you'd be interested in doing!

Also, another suggestion for where to find a mother's helper. We went through a nursing agency.

Txfish

02-05-2007, 11:00 AM

Welcome to all of our new/ upcoming members -- I'm still waiting for my membership to kick in. And not having TOO many panic attacks LOL

I guess there's really nothing I can do to prepare a 10 month old for the impending baby, but I've been having the girls spend the night with my parents once a month or so -- get used to being away, and then that can be a fun getaway for them (rather than where did my mommy go?) And my older dd will be taking her first solo flight later this month to spend a weekend with nana, so she can be used to that. We're expecting her to spend a week with nana this summer... she'll be just bored to tears, getting out of school right as a new baby arrives, *plus* a young toddler to deal with still. I'll be astonished to make it to the zoo with the 3 of them even once!

blondegirl

02-05-2007, 11:08 AM

And not having TOO many panic attacks LOL

Oh, panic attacks are a given when you have 2 under 2!! I have had plenty this past year!! ;)

petdoc08

02-06-2007, 11:52 AM

popping in to ask a question of you all. DH and I are are talking about starting to TTC #2 in the very near future. I get all excited then PANIC about how things will change so much with DD. My biggest fear is how to handle nursing/weaning DD. How did your first DC handle weaning and then having the new baby nurse? Did DC wean him/herself once you were pregnant? I don't want the weaning process to be traumatic/stressful for DD.

Kiley

02-06-2007, 12:01 PM

#2 is not here yet but I'll answer the weaning part.

I got pg when DS was 15 months old and still nursing 3-4 times a day. We made it until he was 17 months old when my supply pretty much dried up, I think this is earlier than usual. I was exhausted all the time too (which is normal, I know, but nursing and being pg was taking its toll on me and when we weaned, it got better). He handled it pretty well. I thought it would be bad since he was so attached. By the time I initiated the weaning, he was down to just twice a day and then we dropped the session he was least attached to. I just posted this in my LJ:

We were in away last weekend staying at a really nice 2bed/2bath condo. The master had a big whirlpool tub. DH had a work meeting on Saturday morning so I took DS swimming. We had a blast but when we got back to the room, we were both freezing so I filled up the tub. (I know, I'm pregnant so I'm not supposed to do that but I forgot and DS was in the tub with me so it's not like it was that hot). Anyway, we were naked, of course, and DS touched my nipple and said "Mine!". I laughed at him and then he opened his mouth like he wanted to nurse (he's been weaned for about 3 weeks), I said okay you can try (knowing there was nothing there). He just put his mouth there and then sat up and smiled and did the same to the other side. I said, "I'm sorry, Sweetie, it's all gone." Then he smiled, waved at my chest and said "Bub-bye".

Txfish

02-07-2007, 07:15 AM

My dd was on supplemental formula -- probably half and half -- when I got pg; by the time I was a couple months along, she quit nursing completely. I don't know if it was more a supply issue or a taste issue, but she did it herself without any residual trauma (she was only 6 months old.)

Kiley, that's a sweet story :)"

magdesilver

02-07-2007, 11:50 AM

I don't remember if I ever posted in this thread, but in any case I'm officially a "2 under 2" mom now! DS is 12 days old and DD is 21 months. All of our family left town on Sunday and DH went half-days Monday and Tuesday of this week so today was my first day taking both kids out on my own. We met up with some friends at the mall play area and then got some lunch in the food court!
All in all, it is not too bad. The hardest time for me seems to be getting us all out of the house in the morning. I didn't get to shower today, which might be a fact of life some days, or I will need to start showering at night when DH goes in to work super early (like he did today). DD is doing really well with her little brother. She wants to hold him in her lap all the time and is very gentle with him. But I can tell that at times she wants some "mommy time" too without him on my lap- so I am trying to make sure she gets that and put him down and give her my undivided attention when I can. She has also, really quickly, become much more attached to her daddy. Used to be I had to sneak out of the room in order to leave her alone with dad but since the baby got here she is much more affectionate with him and more willing to leave me for him.
I think it can only get easier once DS is not a newborn anymore- I could be wrong about that though! I just can't wait for him to be more interactive; I think they will have a ball playing together. DD goes to mother's day out 2-3 days a week and that is a GODSEND for me. My DH travels a lot for work (leaves in early March for 6-8 weeks) and without that, even with only her, I think I would have already gone insane. Plus I'm in 2 different mom's groups that are very active so there are lots of options of things to do to get out of the house.

blondegirl

02-07-2007, 12:48 PM

I I think it can only get easier once DS is not a newborn anymore- I could be wrong about that though!
Congrats!!

I can tell you it definately gets easier as they get older!! Now that DS is older and he and DD can play together, it's great! A few months ago, we were all in the car, and I heard both DD and DS "talking" to eachother. I turned around to see what they were doing - they were holding hands! That totally melted my heart! Once DS got mobile, crawling and such, DD was practically always by his side, they play together all the time now. She even shares her crackers and juice with him!! :eek: If she gets up before him, the first thing she does is run to his room to wake him up!! She has even learned how to climb into his crib with him. (Of course they have there sibling moments - it isn't always pleasant in my house!!!)

One thing that really kept me sane this past year was trying to get out at least once a day. Even if just to take a walk around the mall or something. And you will have plenty of days where you don't shower! I actually looked forward to returning to work just so I was guarenteed a daily shower!!!

jenjen0713

02-07-2007, 12:59 PM

petdoc08 - DS was 8 months old when I got pregnant again. I was still BFing him in the morning/evenings and pumping at work for bottles during the day. My supply was great at first, but once I got to about 10-12 weeks pregnant, my supply tanked. It was just physically hard on me to be pregnant, nurse and take care of my own nutritional needs. Finally, I had to wean him to formula at around 11 months. I just cut out a pumping session every few days and then stopping nursing him in the morning and night and DS had no issues with it.

petdoc08

02-07-2007, 02:06 PM

Kiley What an adorable story! That is what I am hoping our weaning will go.

Txfish&JenjenThank you for sharing your stories. DD is a older so I am *hoping* to make it to 12 months. I am concerned about the physical demands on my body. Ice cream free for-alls sound nice though ;)

kimthebride

02-10-2007, 08:53 AM

I may have missed this (I am deliriously tired!) but I have a question:

How did you arrange the 2 carseats?

Right now DS is in his convertible carseat facing forward in the center.

I was thinking of moving him by the passenger window, and putting DD in her infant seat in the center. This way I can reach her when need be, and see her more easily in the mirror I used for when DS was rear-facing. Plus there will be the empty seat behind me for someone to sit in, for 'stuff', for met to sit in if I need to BF her while we're on the go....

But will DS bug her?

How did this work out for you all?

TIA!!

mia's mama

02-10-2007, 09:05 AM

How did you arrange the 2 carseats?

I have DD (27 months) front facing behind the driver's seat and DS (7 months) rear-facing behind the passanger seat. That way DH can move his seat back when he drives without a problem (the rear-facing seat would get in the way). Also, my DD would TOTALLY be all up in DS's face if they were right next to eachother. As it is he rarely sleeps in the car anymore b/c DD is constantly talking to him, singing to him etc. If she were in reach she would also be grabbing his paci, toys, etc. ;)

njnewyearsbride

02-10-2007, 09:08 AM

i had both seats installed at the police dept -- they put the convertible seat behind the driver forward facing and the infant seat behind the passenger..

in our car they couldnt be next to each other because they'd be touching...

my suggestion is go on over to westfield and have them do it... they do it wed & thurs from 7-1030 i think...

kimthebride

02-10-2007, 01:16 PM

mia's mama
I have a big truck - what do you drive? Can you reach DS if he needs something? Can you see DD behind you?

njnyb
Did you want them next to each other??

I don't know why I can't figure this one out....

njnewyearsbride

02-10-2007, 01:26 PM

i thought they would be next to each other... that way theres room for someone to sit in the back seat... but now theres really not
the 2 seats cant be touching at all...

kimthebride

02-10-2007, 06:19 PM

So they can be next to each other as long as they don't touch?
Because I've driven with 2 Britaxes (Boulevard & Marathon) next to each other in my truck and they didn't touch. Hmmm...

DS never really bugged his friend when she sat right next to him, so I wonder if he'd bug his baby sister.

Any more experiences, ladies??

rancherswife

02-10-2007, 08:50 PM

This is something I've been wondering myself, kim. I can so see Landon "checking" on his brother periodically in the car, which makes me want to have one on each side. But, then it would be handy to have an empty seat by the door to nurse, put stuff, etc.! Geez, always something to think about. Maybe I'll do what njny said and just take it to the police station and let them decide for me. ;)

jmvan74

02-11-2007, 07:25 AM

Carseats: We have Collin forward facing on the driver side and Brady rear facing in the infant seat on the passenger side. I have a Highlander so they aren't real far from me. I can see Collin in the rear view and am going to install the mirror to see Brady. Collin has a tendancy to throw things, so I didn't want them right next to each other.

magdesilver

02-11-2007, 07:40 AM

From a safety perspective, the least protected child should go in the most protected spot- that would be your forward facing toddler going in the center, and your newborn rear-facing in their infant seat outboard. If you can't fit them side-by-side, then I would put one each outboard. I have a honda minivan and the middle row seats can be pushed together (one in the center, one behind the driver) or outboard. When I had family in town I had the newborn's seat pushed towards the center so they could get in the back row easier. Once they left, I moved the newborn back to the outboard position so that it's easier to get his seat in and out. It is really nice having DD outboard as well (she is still rearfacing in her Marathon)- makes it much easier for me to lift her in and out of her seat. When the time comes for me to turn her I may put her in the center, although with our car having all the side-impact airbags and whatnot it is not really much of a safety issue as it might be with older cars.

MizLarner

02-11-2007, 10:43 AM

I have a 2.5 year old and an almost-16 month old. We have a van with captain's chairs, so one goes behind the driver and one behind the passenger seat. We had to do this same arrangement when we only had our coupe and my oldest was still in a booster seat (now 7.5 years) - if we had the infant seat and booster seat next to each other, my older son couldn't buckle himself in. So, we had to put one on each side of the car.

usafwife

02-11-2007, 12:26 PM

Well, I officially have 2 under 2 for a few months. DD will turn two in June. DS arrived a few wks early (3 wks from his due date). Things have went surprisingly better than I thought they would. I wasn't sure how the transition from one to two would be. DD is pretty good with DS. She wants to hold him, showers him with kisses, and hates it when he cries. She has started to getting jealous when I'm nursing DS the last few days. Hoping it was just a reaction to being in a motel that caused it to be so bad yesterday. Anyone else notice this?

Carseat ~ We have DD's carseat behind the passenger seat and DS' carseat in the middle. That still leaves the seat behind the driver open for another person. That is also the seat that folds down if we need more storage in the back of our SUV. DH was going to put DD behind the driver's seat but after I pointed out that that seat folds down he agreed to put her on the other side. We also still needed to have one seat available for someone else to ride because my mom isn't able to drive yet (hopefully later this year but that isn't a sure thing...she hasn't been able to drive since her aneurysm late last summer).

DD actually loves to sit next to DS (although this may change once they are older I realize). She usually removes his blankets that we cover him over with since it's rather cold here now once we get in the SUV. She will find his hand and hold it as well.

rancherswife

02-11-2007, 12:32 PM

Collin has a tendancy to throw things, so I didn't want them right next to each other.

This sounds quite familiar! ;) Which is why I'm leaning towards one on each side!

LexyLou

02-11-2007, 12:58 PM

I have moved DD to the seat behind the driver seat already to get her used to it. So far the only issue is that even with tinted windows, the sun gets in her eyes a lot more than it did in the center. DC #2 will be behind the passenger seat.

Txfish

02-11-2007, 07:03 PM

I'm definitely having this issue myself -- obviously DD1 will have to go to the 3rd row, as we were one model year too early for the optional middle/3rd seat in the Odyssey's 2nd row (grr.) So, DD2 in the middle and infant behind the driver? Or split them, both outboard?

I don't think it makes sense to have them both outboard, because of the oldest having to get past feet & carseats every day to & from school. But then I hate the idea of having to lift the infant carrier over the toddler's seat, and so I guess I'll move toddler rear-facing to the middle and leave infant behind driver's seat. Not to mention, I can only get in and out of one side of the car when I'm parked in the garage; I have to be strategic here!

Daniel's Kitty

02-12-2007, 09:39 AM

jmvan74

02-12-2007, 12:06 PM

Kat: My only suggestion to help with the insanity is to hire help. Honestly, the initial adjustment to having 2 can be overwhelming. We hired aa mother's helper to come 2X's a week. (college student and only $10 an hour). It has really helped my sanity thus far. I am comfortable taking both boys out alone, but it's hard to find things to do w/ a newborn. We will be taking a music class in the spring. Both kids can come and it should be ineresting! Good luck to you. :D

Txfish

02-12-2007, 12:12 PM

I'm expecting that my mom will be in town for a week at least after the birth; then I'm expecting dh to actually take some time off (for once.) After that, I'm convincing myself that having DD1 home from school for the summer will actually help -- as she is able to get DD2 out of the crib, and bring her downstairs, etc. They can play some while I'm stuck nursing or whatever it is. Completely alone with the 2 under 1.5 would be way overwhelming, I think. Although I guess it depends on how scheduled the older one is, used to the playpen, etc.

Hawaii2SJ

02-17-2007, 08:54 PM

**bump**

I'm getting nervous with DD due in less than 3 months. I've started planning our "labor day" since we don't have relatives or friends that live close by. Our plan is to have DS be picked up by a realtive that lives a little over an hour away. We just moved to a new area so we don't have anyone else we'd trust and all our friends live pretty far too. The thing that sucks is I live 30mins away from the hospital as well. Sucks to be me. :rolleyes:

So my question is...Anyone live where there isn't family/friends in the immediate area when you went into labor? What did you do with DC#1. Then did you allow DC#1 to see you at the hospital before you were discharged or did you introduce the kids at home?? I ask since DS was freaking out when I went to my last prenatal visit, which he's never done. Once I got on the table he had fear in his eyes and threw a mini fit. I have so many questions running through my head today, add to that my nesting phase which is really in full effect too.

TIA

AmyE

02-18-2007, 12:45 AM

Hawaii First, congratulations! Second - we ended up with a scheduled c-section because the twins insisted on being breach and transverse. Anyway, DS's sitter stayed at our house with him that afternoon, and was prepared to feed him dinner and get him into bed. DH made it home just before bedtime after my c-section and once it was pretty clear we were doing fine.

We didn't have family or close friends nearby either, so we used the sitter that DS LOVES and DH didn't stay overnight at the hospital with us. DH took DS to daycare in the morning, then came to visit the hospital, then went home to play with DS before dinner and bed. We did have DS come to the hospital two days after the birth and once a day for the next 3 days until discharge. He handled it pretty well, and didn't mind at all when the twins came home. I made sure I wasn't holding some other baby when he first came into the room. FWIW - DS was 20.5 months when the twins were born.

Kat if DH isn't going to be around, beg, steal, buy or borrow some help for a couple of weeks. Even just a couple of hours a few days a week.

carseats we have them three across in the Explorer. Toddler behind driver seat, twins center and outboard. (Can't get toddler over infant seat easily, and he's in the car a lot more often than the litte ones.)

kimthebride

02-18-2007, 06:15 AM

So my question is...Anyone live where there isn't family/friends in the immediate area when you went into labor? What did you do with DC#1. Then did you allow DC#1 to see you at the hospital before you were discharged or did you introduce the kids at home??
i am in kind of a similar predicament, due 2 months from today. And I am freaking out as well. :D

My IL's live a 3-hour planeride away.
My family lives a 4 hour drive away.
All my friends I'd trust to watch DS are either pregnant and due right before/after me, or live too far away to get him in time.
And the kicker? My 1st labor was 2hr45min total, so we (OB & us) fear I may not make it to the hospital in time as it is...never mind trying to deal with handing off a toddler.

We decided to fly MIL (who doesn't work) in a couple weeks before my due date, so she can be here when labor hits. This way DH & I can head right to the hospital and she can stay here with DS. I figure she can bring him to visit once a day while I'm in there...mostly just so he stays on his eating/sleeping routine even while I'm 'away' and keep things as normal as possible for him.

I have no choice but to bring him to my OB appointments, so he's used to needing to stay in his stroller and watch mommy & the doctor look at baby sister in her belly. So he has been exposed to all that, and it doesn't bother him.

Good luck!

Hawaii2SJ

02-18-2007, 10:29 AM

AmyE Thanks for the congrats :) unfortunately we don't have a sitter or daycare since I'm a FT SAHM. We've been considering a mother's helper but haven't really pursued it yet. I told DH that once DC#2 and I are in the clear after the delivery he can go home to be with DS and try to keep things normal. DS has never really been away from us overnight yet either. It would be so nice if I could actually schedule the birth of DD :p With DS I was only in the hospital for 1 day (literally 25hrs from admit,L&D then discharge) so I'm hoping for same this time around.

kimthebride sounds like were on the same boat and I'm glad I'm not the only one freaking out. Both our parents live in Hawaii and my girlfriends here are also pregnant and due before me too, how funny :p We considered having someone flyout earlier but we really will need the help after the baby arrives so I'm bummed. I can't believe your 1st labor was that quick! Good luck with the second one...it sounds like you've got everything covered. As for the OB appts DS used to be fine sitting in the stroller with his snacks but I swear he was a different child at this last appt. I go back in a few weeks and I'm hoping he'll be ok, we'll see.

kimthebride

02-19-2007, 05:26 AM

Hawaii2SJ
Oh, the plan goes further than that. :) MIL flies in before, then will stay as long as I need her. My mom will drive in when I get home from the hospital, but can only stay about 4 days. So we have some double-teaming time, lol.

I am actually going to hire a Mother's Helper for once the moms leave. I am a full time SAHM but am very realistic that I need some help once 2 come along. I'm thinking 2 days a week for about 5 hours a day - she would care for DS and do light housework. And did I mention our place is up for sale, and depending on when we sell it we may be moving right after DD arrives? Yeah, we like to do things the complicated way.

usafwife

02-19-2007, 06:39 AM

My dh won't have any days off that he can take when the baby gets here so it will be me with an 18 month old and newborn from the start. Any ideas to help stop us from all going crazy? I won't really be able to go anywhere until I can lift 30 pounds of little boy into the backseat of a fullsize truck.

Kat ~ I'd highly recommend finding someone to come in for a few hours each day. It's going to be a big help, believe me. As Julie said the initial adjustment can be overwhelming to say the least.

So my question is...Anyone live where there isn't family/friends in the immediate area when you went into labor? What did you do with DC#1. Then did you allow DC#1 to see you at the hospital before you were discharged or did you introduce the kids at home?? I ask since DS was freaking out when I went to my last prenatal visit, which he's never done. Once I got on the table he had fear in his eyes and threw a mini fit. I have so many questions running through my head today, add to that my nesting phase which is really in full effect too.

TIA
Hawaii ~ We had to rework our plan a couple of times due to some things that happened during my pregnancy. First DD was going to stay at my mom's when baby #2 arrived but then she had a ruptured aneurysm and that threw that plan out the window. Then DH's grandparents offered to have watch her and bring her to the hospital. However on New Year's Day she suffered a stroke so out went that plan. At this point I begin to freak out a little because the only other person we could have watch her were BIL and SIL and they were in the process of moving. SIL called one night and wanted to watch DD for us (their plans of moving in January got delayed a month). Then I started having contractions and dilating at 35 wks (the night before was when SIL called). We didn't have much choice but to take DD with us to the hospital when we went (I knew something was happening and just wanted to get to the hospital ASAP). SIL was about to come and pick DD up when we got released. At 37 wks DS arrived (I had another feeling the night before so we dropped DD off at SIL's just in case and as it turned out it was the right decision).

As it turned out we had a snowstorm the day after DS was born and that prevented anyone from coming to see us (we were 45 minutes in good weather away from the hospital where we delivered at) while we were there. I was a little disappointed because I wanted to see DD and have some visitors but at the same time it wasn't worth them getting into a wreck because of it either.

I'd taken DD to a sibling class two months prior. They recommended that I not be holding the baby when DD saw us the first time. They said it could make her feel jealous. In fact they recommended that someone other than DH be holding the new baby as well.

DD went to just about every OB appt I had with DS' pregnancy. She wasn't afraid in the least of my OB or anyone in the office (in fact she would take my OB and nurse on walks around the office each visit).

kim ~ How's the condo selling going?

Daniel's Kitty

02-19-2007, 08:53 AM

We can't afford to hire anyone, but some of my friends have offered help.

Visits I see a midwife now so it is a lot different. But when I was still going to the OB I gave up on the stroller since it caused tantrums and just kept an eye on ds and handed him crackers to keep him quiet. Now the MW and I get distracted by the toddler who wants to play, but he loves being invloved in the visit.

kimthebride

02-19-2007, 11:25 AM

kim ~ How's the condo selling going?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH.
Know anyone interested in a lovely 2BR, 2.5Bath condo with a great view? :rolleyes:

marchfamily

02-19-2007, 11:49 AM

So my question is...Anyone live where there isn't family/friends in the immediate area when you went into labor? What did you do with DC#1. Then did you allow DC#1 to see you at the hospital before you were discharged or did you introduce the kids at home??

We have a better situation. My water broke with #2 and we took #1 to the hospital with us. My parents came (3 hour drive) and my ILs (1 hour drive) watched DD while I had my csection. My daughters met when I was in recovery. My 16 month old came to visit twice a day while I was in the hospital. My husband would stay at the hospital until my DD needed a nap/sleep and would take her home.

girlygirl_7

02-20-2007, 06:03 PM

For those of you who haven't yet delivered #2 and are worried, here are my thoughts on issues right when #2 arrives.

First off, my kids are 12 months apart. I always brought my son to my OB appts. and he started to freak out towards the end. Almost like he was scared for me. I would sit on that white paper on the table and he would immediately cry. But, he did fine when he came to see me in the hospital. He walked in, looked at my daughter for a second, then he was more interested in the new toy that I had brought for him. :rolleyes: I strongly suggest having a gift for DC #1 at the hospital (or at home if they don't come to the hospital). Say that it is a gift from the new baby.

I was lucky because my son stayed with my parents who live close by, and they brought him by to see us. If I was in a situation where I didn't have anyone close by, I am not sure what I would do. I probably would have found a sitter for just while I was in labor and then had my husband go home at nights to sleep with him there. But obviously when labor can happen in the middle of the night, that is easier said than done. If you can't get DC #1 to the hospital, it is fine if they meet at home. I don't think that aspect of it really matters. My only concern would be ~ is DC #1 going to freak out seeing you in the hospital because he wants to be with you and not whomever is watching him or her. Luckily I didn't have that problem cause my kids like my mom more than me. :D

The first few weeks were hard, but not impossible. My DH took the first week off, and then from then on I was on my own. I think I was even out and about in public with them within days. I tend to like to do things myself, and I have a hard time accepting help, so I guess I adjusted quickly.

My kids are 12 months and 24 months now. Sometimes I think I am going to go insane, but for the most part, it isn't that hard. We manage just fine! you will find a way to get things done. ;)

jmvan74

02-21-2007, 11:40 AM

I had a scheduled c/s, so we were able to make sure family was in town to watch Collin.

hospital visit: It was a nightmare. When Collin saw me at the hospital he freaked out and started screaming and crying. He wouldn't come any where near me and when he saw the baby it got worse! He was there for a total of 15 minutes before DH packed it up and took him home. Of course, I was in tears for the next several hours b/c my baby didn't want anything to do w/ me. I was so afraid that it would continue once I got home, but I just sat back and let him come to me and we were good.

blondegirl

02-21-2007, 12:50 PM

My IL's are all about 1.5 hours away, and my family is about 2.5 hours away. This made my decision to have a planned repeat CS very easy. We wanted to make sure someone was around to look after our 2 DD's. We don't know anyone locally, we were pretty new to our city when DS was born. Since we knew when DS was going to be delivered, all family planned to be in the area and they all staggered their visits to the hospital over the first few days. My family stayed local for a week to help with the kids while I was in the hospital and when DH visited me. I had a mother's helper for the first few weeks, as well as many visits from family. DH wasn't able to take too much time off of work so I needed someone around since I couldn't do much lifting and stuff while recovering from my CS.

My youngest DD was only 11 months when DS was born, so she didn't really react any differently when she visited the hospital. She went to all of my OB visits with me as well. (Of course, my oldest was 6, so she was fine when visiting!!)

Today is actually DD2's 2nd birthday, but this last year has flown by and has definately not been as bad as I imagined it would have been! I wouldn't change a thing.

happy1nuv

03-31-2007, 11:40 AM

what's your daily routine with 2 under 2? how do you nurse one while still containing the other one? how do you handle naptimes???

Kanga

03-31-2007, 12:31 PM

Hi Happy1nuv - My oldest is younger than yours I believe (17 months) so I'm not sure how much this will help, it depends on personalites. My dd1 is pretty independant as long as I am in the room with her. We spend most of our time in the living room where most of her toys are and it's also baby proofed as much as possible. I make sure she has just about anything she could need - snacks in her snack trap, sippy of water, etc and I make sure any of the toys that require my help are out of sight, along with her shoes (she has an obsession right now of taking off and putting on her shoes, but she needs my help and gets mad if I can't help her). She likes to be held a lot, but I solve that problem by sitting on the floor with her and she's welcome to sit next to me, ask for hugs, sit on my lap (well it's more like my knees because of the boppy), etc and that seems to satisfy her. Also, she seems to really like playing with my hair. I give her a couple of plastic combs and she sits on the couch behind me while I sit on the floor and nurse dd2.

As for naps, it hasn't been too bad yet, knock on wood. I feed dd1 lunch around 11:30, then she plays while I nurse the baby or put the baby to sleep. I put the baby in the carseat or swing for her nap and then take dd1 up for her nap. We've just started sleep training, so I hope that it won't take as long as it does now. We read books, I offer to cuddle for a few minutes (which she usually refuses in hopes she won't have to take a nap) and then I lay her in her crib and stay with her until she falls asleep. We just started this yesterday actually and it took about 25 minutes for her to fall asleep. If it takes too long and the baby wakes up, I will probably put the baby in the sling while I sit beside dd1's crib.

For us, the biggest challenge is mealtimes, especially breakfast and finding time for me to shower. It never fails that dd1 wakes while I'm nursing dd2 and they both want to eat right.now, plus a diaper change for dd1 before it leaks and trying to get both of them down the stairs. dd1 can walk down them while holding a hand, but when she first gets up she likes to be cuddled and carried.

Sometime in the morning I try to unload and reload the dishwasher and start the laundry. In the afternoon I try to pick up the living room and finish laundry. I try to clean the bathroom while dd1 takes her bath, but I admit a lot of times I just want to sit and relax. I rarely get to the bedrooms, but with the exception of laundry they don't get too bad since we're not in there much.

jmvan74

03-31-2007, 03:38 PM

Happy1: There's not too much routine going on just yet, but we are working on it. I generally nurse #2 and get him settled in to his crib, swing, bouncy seat or other distraction and then get DS#1 up for the day, change his diaper, get him breakfast. I try to eat w/ him, but faster. ;) While #1 eats, I get #2, change his diaper and then hold on to him while #1 is finishing breakfast.
Then the juggling act begins. :p I generally put #2 on his playmat in the playroom, while I play w/ #1 and just keep changing activities. When it's time to nurse the baby, DS#1 usually watches TV or plays w/ his toys independently. He's good about that. Like Kanga, I try to make sure he has a snack and a sippy before I begin so he's not asking for a snack. Luckily, DS#2 nurses in less than 10 minutes.
Naps: I try to get #2 to sleep after he's been up for an hour to an hour and a half. He's adjusting to sleeping while there is noise. Once he's asleep I put him in his crib and have some alone time w/ #1. #1 only takes one nap a day, so I just put the baby down in his crib or other contained area and put #1 in his crib. He goes down awake and puts himself to sleep.
Sorry this was a novel! LOL! I honestly feel like I'm juggling the boys all day long. I make Collin's (#1) lunch while he naps and once he starts to eat, it's usually time to nurse...vicious cycle. :)

Ericka_Jarett

03-31-2007, 03:58 PM

I will be a mom to 2 under 2. Easton will be 14-15 months when the new baby comes in end of Oct - mid-November.

kimthebride

03-31-2007, 06:53 PM

Did anyone move house with 2 under 2?

I am due in just over 2 weeks and am quite likely going to be moving right before DS's 2nd bday when DD is about 1.5 months old. Anyone else do this? Any tips or advice?

(and yes, we like to do things the hard way :cool: )

pullbuoy

03-31-2007, 07:36 PM

I did exactly that! We closed on our new house the day before DS was born, fixed up our old house for sale, gutted and remodelled the new house, and moved in when DS was 5 weeks old(DD was 18 months). I am sorry to say my experience was horrible, and I hope you can learn from my mistakes:

1) Even if you are hiring professional movers, make sure your DH takes the day off work the day of your move. The baby was okay in the sling, but keeping the toddler from getting knocked in the head by the bed/falling down the stairs was an absolute nightmare by myself.

2) On the sling thing, unless your back is made of steel, you can't really expect to pack with the baby in the sling. It's too much heavy lifting of awkward objects. I think I had images of myself wrapping photos in newspaper and gingerly placing them in boxes while DS nursed. Ummmm.

3) It's not really that expensive to pay for painting. We were trying to shave a couple bucks off the remodel and did the painting ourselves. Not so bright.

4) Actually, if you can get off site care for your toddler the day of the move, that would probably be best.

Basically what you can expect to be in charge of is taking care of the new baby and the toddler. Young toddlers often act out about 4-8 weeks after a new baby, so even the most mellow fellow will need some extra care on top of what you will be providing a 5 week old baby. Maybe you can make phone calls or meet contractors at the door. Your DH has to be in charge of basically everything else, and whatever he can't do on little sleep I'd really urge you to hire out/get favors from family.

It really didn't have to be so bad, but I vastly underestimated how much work caring for the two little ones would be, as well as how much work a remodel is, even if it's mostly hired out.

kimthebride

03-31-2007, 07:50 PM

I appreciate your tips! We figured there was a chance of this happening, and so far what we had envisioned was:

- I pack up our truck with a PnP, toys, and a couple suitcases of stuff to manage the kids from the new house all day (food, diapering, nap essentials, Moses Basket, Elmo DVDs and a laptop.... I'd head there in there morning while DH stayed behind to deal with movers.

- We pay movers to pack everything else.

- We pay someone to paint before we move in.

- I get groceries delivered that day so I don't have to deal with going out to the store with 2 kids.

bunny

04-06-2007, 09:07 PM

subscribing. i am having another baby 18 months apart from my first child.... and i need all the help i can get. :)

Brink

04-06-2007, 10:32 PM

Subscribing -

At this point, 2 under 2 wouldn't be so bad in comparison. We currently have 3 under 2 (18 month old DD and 9 week old twins). We are managing, but I'm still on maternity leave. I can't imagine what it will be like in a couple more weeks when I go back to work.

I'll have to go back and read this thread and see what advice I can pick up. Thanks in advance, I'm sure it will be helpful.

Ericka_Jarett

04-23-2007, 06:03 PM

Brink I am there now myself. Just found out we will have 3 under 14 months come end of October

kimthebride

04-24-2007, 05:16 AM

I am here now, with my 22mo and my 1-week old. Yikes! Welcome to the Land Of The Tired!

I've had mom & MIL in so far, and am finding that what's really important is for me to lay down the law about DS's big 3-hour midday nap or else i'd lose my marbles. And I have to make sure both of them follow DS's normal routine, plus address his tantrums like I would. As the terrible 2's approach, I find heading off tantrums or ignoring them and being direct about bad behavior (as in saying "No, Stop" in Serious Mom Voice vs "Noooooooooo...you shouldn't doooo thaaaat..." in Grandma Playful Voice) is important for my DS. Otherwise, they get worse - and i don't think I want to deal with that right now, LOL!

As for BFings, the main living area is entirely toddler-proofed so I don't have to worry about DS getting into anything.

Ok, now I need to get some coffee since DD just finished nursing. ;) Later ladies!

ManteoChik

04-24-2007, 06:21 AM

Just thought I'd pop in and update about my friend. A while back I posted for some advice for my best friend who found out she was PG and her DD was only like 9 months. Anyway, she gave birth to their DS in January when her DD was 18 months. She's been doing really well and thankfully Ella was hardly concerned with her new baby brother. We were all expecting there to be a lot of jealousy (since she was the first grandchild on one side) but it was't bad. She had a couple moments like any other kid but that was it.

In fact, she ignors him most of the time...unless he cries and she walks up to him and says "shhhhhh"...lol. She does like to love on him though and hasn't quite figured out that the baby can't eat snacks like she can. Over all she said its been a lot easier than she thought it would be.

kindermom

04-24-2007, 06:44 AM

Yesterday was the first day that DD was nice to DS all day. She would show him her sign language signs and the make the same sign against his body. She gave him his pacifier over and over. And she gave him several kisses. It was completely heart melting!

Congrats Kim on your new DD.

Txfish

04-24-2007, 10:42 AM

Congrats Kim!! Keep it up with the strict mommy business -- I'm sure it will make all the difference.

Congrats (and holy cow!) Ericka on the twins -- take care of yourself :)

Congrats on your new arrivals Brink!

Kindermom, aww. That's the dream, right? Glad you all had such a nice day.

I'm a month away from having 2 under 14 months.... continuing to be a little terrified, particularly since my angel baby has begun experimenting with tantrums, and gets PO'ed when I'm on the couch and she's on the floor. Hard enough with the sciatica, near impossible when nursing a newborn! Yikes!

kindermom

04-24-2007, 11:02 AM

txfish - Do you wear your children? I found that wearing DS in a Moby wrpay has made life so much easier. The wrap leaves your hands free, even when nursing your new one (although nursing in it took a little practice). It is handy because they are kept tight to you so you are free to bend over without the baby falling out.

usafwife

04-24-2007, 01:16 PM

bunny ~ Congrats on the new little one! Mine are 19 months apart.

Brink ~ Congrats on the twins arrival!

Ericka ~ Congrats on twins!

Kim ~ Congrats on Ava's arrival! I've had to use the serious mommy voice a few times with DD and her tantrums. I've been in the land of tired for a little while myself.

Txfish ~ I agree with the sling/carrier. I've found it very helpful with having DS. I still have my hands free to do things for DD.

kindermom ~ Isn't it too cute when they give kisses? It melts my heart when DD gives DS kisses. Whenever DS is crying DD finds his pacifier and puts it in his mouth. She is also telling him to "ssshhhhhhhhhh" when he cries or is fussy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Things are actually better than I thought they would. DD hasn't really been jealous and she's been very good with him.

kimthebride

04-25-2007, 12:12 PM

I may be tired & a little cranky, but EVERY morning DS comes over to DD and kisses her on the head "MmmmmmmmmMMMWAH!". **melting**

Txfish

04-26-2007, 03:47 PM

Thanks for the reminder on babywearing -- I have a sling that I just hate, and a Bjorn, but never felt super comfortable using that with a teeny tiny one. I really need to get something else to try. Although I absolutely know I will never be able to nurse from a sling and be even one hand free. LOL I can barely arrange myself on a couch.

I am counting on the almost-6 year old to help occupy and play with the 1 year old a lot this summer, until the baby gets scheduled and a little more self-sufficient. They have gotten so cute together -- the little one just lights up when she sees her big sister.

And hell, I'm tired and cranky NOW. Sending sleep vibes to all the new babies & moms!

kindermom

04-26-2007, 05:18 PM

what's your daily routine with 2 under 2? how do you nurse one while still containing the other one? how do you handle naptimes???
Right now we are relying a little too much on the TV. In the morning, DD (20 months) comes in to our bedroom as DS (7 weeks) wakes up. DD hangs out while I feed DS and DH gets ready for work. She will usually watch Sesame Street and eat Cheerios and drink milk from 9 to 10 while I get ready to go for the day. Usually by 10 DS is ready to nap. DD and I will play while DS naps. Around 11:30 DD is ready to eat. So is DS. So I fix her lunch and put her in the high chair. Then I sit and nurse DS while she eats. Once DD is done with lunch, she is ready for a nap. By 12:30 I try to put DD down for a nap. DS has to hang out in his swing for 15 minutes while I read to DD. Sometimes he has to cry or fuss in order to give DD her 15 minutes of story time. DS gets fed again once she is down. Then he goes down for a nap usually. I get about 30-60 minutes free. Then DD wakes up by 2:30. She gets a snack. Then DS usually wakes up and eats. Once they are done, I will hold DS while DD plays. Or we will go outside for DD to play. DH comes home in the early evening and then the juggling act is over.
I am lucky in that my DD is pretty independent. With that said, most of our house is pretty child-proofed. The hardest thing is juggling when DS wants to eat right as DD is going down to sleep. Usually DS has to fuss/cry while I read to DD.

PinkMartini

04-26-2007, 05:30 PM

Wow I'm so glad this thread got bumped up. After finding out I'm pregnant with a 2nd child due 2 days after my DS was born :eek:, I've been searching but couldn't find it. I have a feeling I'm going to need it...

Don't have the time to read through it right now (My DS is sick) but I'm subscribing and want to know if there's anyone else with their DC this close together?

jki

04-26-2007, 06:11 PM

Don't have the time to read through it right now (My DS is sick) but I'm subscribing and want to know if there's anyone else with their DC this close together?

WOW - a year and 2 days?! :eek: Mine are 54 weeks apart....

PinkMartini

04-26-2007, 06:22 PM

WOW - a year and 2 days?! :eek: Mine are 54 weeks apart....

:eek: You have no idea how shocked/freaked out I was when I got my BFP back. I guess Jan is my fertile time :rolleyes:

kimthebride

04-26-2007, 07:34 PM

Do any of you have a good double video monitor? I want to be able to shower while DS plays/watches Sesame Street...
but the shower and the livingroom are on different floors. But if i can have DD napping at the same time, it would be great to be able to see them both at the same time.

The monitor thread is pretty dead, and the combos I have used just didn't work out for us. TIA!

rancherswife

04-26-2007, 07:49 PM

kindermom: Your routine sounds almost exactly like ours. Funny!

kimthebride

04-27-2007, 07:50 AM

Speaking of routines...how long did it take for you all to get into a routine??
As of Monday I'll be alone with the 2 kiddos.

blondegirl

04-27-2007, 08:07 AM

want to know if there's anyone else with their DC this close together?

PinkMartini- My DS and DD are 11 months apart :eek: Technically, I don't have 2 under 2 anymore, since they are now 26 months and 15 months, but I still browse here often! If you have any questions, let me know! It's really not that bad! Congrats, and good luck!

Sage

04-27-2007, 08:29 AM

How did I miss this thread?? I have 3 kids under 2...yikes! My DD is 20 months old and I have twin DS's that are almost 3 months. It is totally crazy but pretty fun.

I just went back to work 2 weeks ago and my DH is a stay-at-home dad for the time being. I do have Fridays off so he does some work on Fridays and the weekend.

Before I went back to work, we weren't in much of a routine! It's definitely a challenge with 3 kids, especially when they all need you at once. We are also guilty of relying on the tv a little too much for DD. She loves her Sesame Street... But we're also fortunate that she's a very independent little girl, and plays very well by herself.

I'm very interested to see how everyone is handling everything! Lately I've felt so overwhelmed with the kids, my work, my commute, etc. that I'm in "just cope" mode, and haven't even thought about routines, etc. As the boys get older, things are getting easier, but every day is a challenge!

ShyGirl

05-16-2007, 04:19 PM

Hi All,
I'm relatively new here. I signed up last year, but have just recently returned as I know CC is a great place for advice/help/venting etc...

I am a new mom to a 6 month old and just found out that I am almost 10 weeks pregnant... So mine will be about 13 months apart. I also WOH (and BF/pump exclusively) so I am wondering if there are any other moms out there that have had experience with working at a job outside of the home with 2 little ones... Any suggestions or tips to reassure me that this can be done?

Also as it relates to the BFing - were you able to continue nursing through your pregnancy or did your supply dry up? ( I think there's info in a thread on preg & nursing, but I'm just curious as to the responses here...)

It seems there are a few of us here that are currently pregnant with little time between the 2... Should be an interesting ride we're about to take... :)

TIA for your responses/suggestions.

/SG

PinkMartini

05-16-2007, 05:05 PM

It seems there are a few of us here that are currently pregnant with little time between the 2... Should be an interesting ride we're about to take... :)

Ain't that the truth???

kindermom

05-16-2007, 05:09 PM

Hi ShyGirl- Welcome back. Congrats on the new little one. I can not speak yet of having the 2 under 2 back at work for another few weeks. As for BFing, I was pg when my DD was about 10 months old. I was having supply issues as it was and I did see an increased need to supplement (from about 25% to 50%). But again, I had 6 months of supply issues I was already dealing with. I will post an update when I go back to work in a few weeks. It will be interesting.

FWIW, there are some days it is really hard having the kids 19 months apart. Other days it is no big deal. Having a supportive DH is so critical I think, especially if you are a patience challenged type A personality like me.

jenjen0713

05-16-2007, 06:04 PM

ShyGirl - I got pregnant with #2 when #1 was 7 months old. I was BFing at home and then pumping at work. For the first 8-10 weeks of my pregnancy, I had no issue with supply...if anything it actually seemed to increase. However at around 10 weeks, it started to tank fast. By the time #1 was 10 1/2 months old, I had to start supplementing with formula.

My boys are 16 months apart and just returned to work two weeks ago. Things are going relatively well. If anything, me returning to work has forced us all to get into a routine. I don't get up any earlier than I use to...somehow things just work out that I get them to daycare and I get to work on time. I'm lucky that I live 5 miles from my work, so I run home over my lunch hour and do housework (laundry, load dishwasher, vacuum, sweep/mop/dust, empty trash) or I run errands (Target, banking, etc.). I found this has helped a lot. In the evenings I am free to spend with my kids and my house is staying in order.

Kanga

05-16-2007, 06:39 PM

My kids are 16 months apart. It hasn't been nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I feel like in the last few weeks especially we've moved from survival mode to finally having somewhat of a routine.

As far as nursing goes, I wasn't able to continue. I was having supply issues already though so they played a huge part in it. Dd also was a late solids eater....she didn't eat much of anything til around 14 months old so she got 99% of her nutrtion through bm/formula. When she was 9 months, I was having to supplement after every feeding and I completely weaned her to formula at 9 1/2 months. I don't WOH so I don't have anything to add there.

ShyGirl

05-17-2007, 12:14 PM

Pink Martini - Wow! I can't believe your due date is 2 days after the birth of your DS. Impressive timing... ;) I look forward to sharing stories with you along the way...

Kindermom - thanks for the welcome back... I appreciate your input on the supplementing. I agree with you about having supportive DHs. I got lucky in that department, but my problem is that I tend to try and do everything myself and then get resentful towards him afterward. Must.stop.that.immediately. I have a feeling that having 2 this close in age won't let the control freak / type A personality I have reign much longer....

jenjen0713 - I am doing exactly what you did. BFing at home and pumping at work. That's interesting about what you said regarding your supply increasing. I think I mentioned that I am almost 10 weeks along. Last week I noticed a slight increase in supply. I wonder if it has anything to do with my new prenatals... My Dr said it wouldn't last and to expect to be "drying up" anytime now... Honestly - that makes me a little sad. I wanted to nurse my DS for a while longer, but I have no issues supplementing. I just like the closeness that it has given us. PS - You are INCREDIBLY busy. I can't believe how much you get done in a day in addition to WOH. I'm lucky to get the dishes in the sink with one kid - and now with nausea and first tri exhaustion - I simply cannot imagine doing much more than I already do now. (ok - getting off pitty-potty now...)

Kanga - 9 months is a great length of time to BF. Good for you. At this point, going past 7months seems like a stretch to me (even with my temporary increase)...

Questions - Do your DC have their own rooms? (We have a 2 bedroom house right now so I am wondering about putting both of them in one room - #2 will be with us for the first few weeks, but then I'll transition him/her to the crib like we did with #1.)
Also - How did #1 react to #2?

jenjen0713

05-17-2007, 12:23 PM

Shygirl - When I was pregnant with #2, NOTHING got done around the house...so you just take it easy. It was only while on maternity leave, that I gradually started to get my energy back and decided I could do a lot over my lunch hour once I went back to work because I wouldn't have two little ones demanding my attention. When I come home for work, I'm lucky if I get my pump parts washed by the end of the evening.

Each of my boys have their own room. I was worried that one would wake the other up. However, I know of many moms who had their kids together in one room from day 1 and it worked out great.

DS #1 was at first very jealous of his brother (16 month age difference). Then after about a week, it turned into him just ignoring him. Maybe he thought if he ignored him, he would go away. Then it gradually turned to acceptance. He will bring the pacifier to him, give him kisses and try to give him one of his Nilla Wafers to eat. :rolleyes: Lately, he has been exhibiting jealousy signs again. DH and I both try to give the each boy alone time with each of us and then try to all play together.