TTC at 35+: Age Is Just a Number!

[margiepgh]

I thought this new board would be a great chance to revive the 35+ thread. I hope everybody will find this new thread. Please join in, or it will be pretty lonely for me!

This thread is designed for all women 35 and older who are TTC. Let's get our new roll call going.

TTC

APhiJill
Me: Jill (39)
DH: DH (46)
Stepson named Justin born 4/15/90 (DH has custody)
We got married 12/11/01
Stopped taking the pill July 2005. Not TTC but not preventing it either

applebee
Me: Lori, 39
DH: Ted, 36 in Jan
TTC #1: since Oct 04
M/C: Jan 97

Astro
me: 39
DH: 36
TTC : Since Sept 03
IVF#1: May 05
Stillborn twin boys at 16 weeks (Steven Alexander and Ryan Philip)
Don't know what happened, Dr's suspect a clotting disorder
IVF #2 m/c

Bastille

Bellefior
Me: 36
DH: 36
TTC since 5/05

ejs
Me - 38
DH - 39
TTC 5/06

Elly(belle)
Me 41
DH 44
DD, Sofia 2 (11/26/03)
TTC November 2005

Hangin'in
Me: Jen (39)
DH: Ron (28)
TTC: Since 10/03
Diagnosed with high fsh
3 Failed IUI's
Currently: Taking a break from assisted reproduction. We haven't decided what our next step will be. Dr. doesn't think injectibles will be very effective. Dr. thinks only viable option is Donor Eggs.

Inda
Me 36
DH: 38
TTC since 1/06
Off the pill since 1/06 (after 18 yrs on it! - wish me luck!)

jlo2be
Me: 42 (43 in April )
DH: 41
DS: 05/01/04
ectopic pg 11/04
m/c 12/20/05 - 6w5d

melissafromnc
me: Melissa (40)
DH: Eric (38)
TTC: Since 1/03
m/c: 1/04 (ectopic resulting in loss of one tube)
m/c: 4/06 (second ectopic pregnancy. 2 doses of meth. still ruptured. lost remaining tube)
2 failed ivf cycles, many failed iuis
diagnosed with high fsh
currently pursuing donor embryos

permanentvacay
Me: 35
Him: 33

pocahontas
me: 36
DH: 33
Married 9/3/05
TTC#1 since 2/06, Charting since 12/05

rene' (formerly mrsschu'sfriend on WC)
me: Rene' (35)
DH: Todd (36)
Married: 12/24/90
DD's: Alexa Rene', 12/18/94, Bailey Christian 3/30/98
A couple of miscarriages a few years ago that kind of
scared us from trying again for a while.

Sublime311
Me: Kelli (36)
DH: James (32)
TTC since 01/2004

teendoc

tenofcups
Me: 42
FH: 41
TTC: July 2005



Graduates

bottleored
me: Caroline (39)
DH: Paul (43)
TTC #1: Since 1/04
6 failed Clomid cycles (up to 150mg)
tubal recanalization for blocked tube 2/05
started injectibles 6/05
Jackson David arrived on
Tuesday, 6/20 at 12:31 am
weighing 9 lbs, 7 oz,
21.5" long.

Brink
Me: Tina (36)
DH: Dan (37)
DD: Aimee - 9/25/05
Married: 6/26/04
BFP: July
Pregnant!!EDD: 3/19/07 (will be earlier for scheduled C)


catgirl1007
Me: 36
DH: 35
DD: 10/8/04
TTC#2: November 2005
Pregnant!!

craftgenius
Me - 35 years old
DH - 38 years old
Married - 8/16/2003
Had fibroid surgury 1/11/2005
TTC since 5/1/2005
Pregnant!!

Fireside Girl (formerly BonnieOysterGrl on the WC)
me:Bonnie(41)
DH:Timothy(47)
2 miscarriages(01-03 & 06-04) and a failed IVF transfer(12-04)
Egg Donation
Pregnant!!

jesseybell
Age: 35
married 5/21/05
OBC: 7/1/2005
History of endometriosis and a DES Daughter
Pregnant!!

kimmiebride
Age: 40
TTC: Since 8/02
m/c 11/24/05
Pregnant!! EDD: 03/31/07

margiepgh
me: Margie (42)
DH: Ken (38)
DS: David Connor, 12/18/03
TTC#2 since December 2004
Pregnant!! - EDD 3/20/07

Mermccau
Me: Meredith - 36
Husband: Sean - 32
TTC: Last BCP taken on March 12th, 2005
BFP: March 2006
Pregnant!! EDD: November 9th, 2006

mobox
Maureen: 36
David: 36
OBC: 4/05
TTC: 6/05
BFP: 4/10/06
Pregnant!! EDD: 12/15/06

pixielou
me - 41
dh - 38
dd - anika - born 9.27.04
ttc #2 - since 6/05
Pregnant!! - EDD 2/14/07

Stars
Me: 39
DH: 34
Diagnosis: High FSH and the boyz have Motility issues
IUI #1 with low stims: Success, DS born 7/14/04
TTC: Officially off pill 11/05 and waiting to see what happens
Pregnant!!

CHEERLEADERS - Bubbas, tsmom

[margiepgh]

"Infertility for Dummies"
"The Infertility Cure: The Ancient Chinese Wellness Program for Getting Pregnant and Having Healthy Babies" by Randine Lewis
"The Zygot Chronicles" by Suzanne Finnamore
"Inconceivable" by Julia Indichova
"Birthing from Within" by Pam England
"What You Doctor May Not Tell You About Premenopause: Balance Your Hormones & Your Life from 30 to 50" by John R. Lee
"Exercising Through Your Pregnancy" by James Clapp
"Expecting Miracles On the Path of Hope from Infertility to Parenthood" by Christo Zouves, MD
"Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother" by Jana Wolff

[Fireside Girl]

Hi margiepgh,

Just wanted to subscribe to the new thread. Hopefully, everyone follows us over... :cool:

My WC name is BonnieOysterGrl. Here are my stats...

me:Bonnie(41)
DH:Timothy(47)
2 miscarriages(01-03 & 06-04) and a failed IVF transfer(12-04)
pursuing Egg Donation

[margiepgh]

Hi Fireside Girl! :D Yeah! I'm not alone anymore. I've added you to the roster.

[melissafromnc]

Reporting for duty!

Here are my stats:

melissafromnc
me: Melissa (39 for a few more months)
DH: Eric (38)
M/C: 1/04 (ectopic resulting in loss of one tube)
TTC: Since 1/03
2 failed ivf cycles, many failed iuis
diagnosed with high fsh
currently pursuing donor embryos

[tenofcups]

We're now officially TTC so I'll join in... :o

Me: 42 in 2 weeks!
FH: 41
TTC: Starting NOW! (July 2005)

We've been "not avoiding" for the past few months as a way for him to get used to this idea, but we're now TTC (I think this distinction is more in my head than any concrete reality or change, but it seems to be an important distinction to me).

Despite making a decision to go ahead and try a few months ago, we did have to avoid this past month as I changed my health insurance since I would not have been covered if I got pregnant during the change-over. Was a very weird month because of that--that dual feeling of "I want to get pregnant NOW" tempered with "this would be a huge problem to get pregnant now and have to pay for everything out of pocket."

Fortunately, I've been accepted to the new health insurance as of July 1 and my period has just ended--so we're raring to go now!

[LeighW]

Hi girls,
I lurked on the old WC thread and silently cheered for you all, but never joined. So, here I am. :)

Me: Angie (41)
DH: DH (38)
DD: Mary Jo, 5/4/03
TTC #2: since 8/04
m/c 6/05

Still licking my wounds after a m/c at 10 weeks on 6/24/05. :(

Nice to see some folks my age around here. :)

[margiepgh]

Welcome tenofcups, Melissa, and LeighW!

Leigh - I'm so sorry to hear about your m/c. :(
I've seen some of your posts over at the WC and and am glad you've come out of lurkdom to join our thread.

Melissa - You are the youngest member of the thread so far. ;)

tenocups - It's great to see a new face on our thread!

[Hangin'in]

I'm here!

Me: Jen (39)
DH: Ron (28)
TTC: Since 10/03
Diagnosed with high fsh
3 Failed IUI's
Currently: Taking a break from assisted reproduction. We haven't decided what our next step will be. Dr. doesn't think injectibles will be very effective. Dr. thinks only viable option is Donor Eggs.

I'll be cheering all of you ladies on in your TTC adventures, even though DH and I won't be going to Dr.'s appts. ourselves!

Welcome LeighW and tenofcups!

margiepgh I just upped Melissa on being the youngest... I'm a few months behind her! (sorry M :D )

Fireside Girl I'll be very interested in your journey with Donor Eggs, as well as Melissa's journey with Donor Embryos.

[melissafromnc]

Oh, man. I was so excited to be the youngest somewhere for a change. At least it's you, hangin'in to boot me out. I wouldn't take that from anyone else. ;)

Yay for new members! Welcome Leigh and tenofcups. So sorry about your loss, Leigh.

I got my first list of donor embryos from the Cooper Center today!! I should get a list every other month or so. We're really low in priority there but there are several groups that look good so we'll send back our picks and see if we get a match. A friend from another board just got a bfp from her donor embryo cycle. I can't tell y'all what a relief it is to be doing something that feels positive. It's been a long 2.5 years with so many disappointments. Here's to positive times for all of us.

[CapeCod04]

I'm here!

Me: Kate (43)
DH: Aron (35)
TTC since 08/04
No diagnosis - age related infertility
1 failed IUI
1 whacked out cycle that was supposed to be an IUI
Currently - starting an IVF cycle - bcp starts today

I guess so far I win for oldest and tie for the cradle snatcher award! ;)

[Fireside Girl]

Welcome tenofcups, LeighW, hangin'in, capecod and Melissa!

Melissa,
That's exciting that you got your first DE list. I absolutely agree that after 3+ years of trying and being disappointed it feels good to finally be moving in a positive and productive direction. Please keep us posted.

[margiepgh]

Welcome hangin'in and capecod - I've added you to the roster.

capecod - Please keep us updated on your IVF. I'll be crossing my fingers for you!

Melissa - It sounds like your making some good progress with the donor embryos. :)

----- -------

At the recommendation of Melissa I've just started to read Inconceivable. I'm only on Chapter 2, so I'm still getting background material and haven't hit the inspiration part yet. I'll be sure to give a review after I'm done.

I've also decided to give up caffeine, since I read about it's negative effect on fertility. I don't drink coffee, but love my Diet Coke, so it might be a bit of a challenge.

[Hangin'in]

capecod I have you beat in the cradle snatching! I'm almost 12 years older than my husband!

margiepgh I've read that book several times!

melissa ;)

If I missed anyone, I'm sorry. It's pretty early here, and I'm not really a morning person!

[stars]

Hope you guys don't mind if I still follow you along in this thread ... I do hope to rejoin you at the end of the summer ;)

I'm still your #1 cheerleader.

[CapeCod04]

I got the balance of my meds for IVF today. :eek: So many bottles! So many needles!

[margiepgh]

Hi Stars - I'm glad you found us over here. :) We definitely need a cheerleader. :D

Capecod - It sounds like you have all your supplies in order. Are you mentally prepared?

I heard on the news today that it was Bastille Day in France, which made me think of our friend Bastille Bride from the WC. I think she may have gotten married on Bastille Day. Hopefully she'll find us on CC so that I can wish her a happy anniversary.

[melissafromnc]

I thought I was getting notifications here but only get them sometimes. What's the deal?

Hey Capecod, do you have the Anji cd? There's a special meditation one specifically for ivf. I think it's really relaxing. You listen to Track 1 when you're on stims, Track 2 from day of transfer for 1 week, and Track 3 from then on. You can get info at anji online (http://www.anjionline.com). I highly recommend it. Aren't the meds completely overwhelming? You are using one of the cool pens at least, right? Follistim or gonal f? It actually helps quite a bit.

margie--The inspirational part is she does have another baby even though no doc will give her time of day. She had fsh of 41 at 41. I just focus on that part, not the specifics of what she did. BTW, all of my REs (count them...3 very highly regarded REs) feel that a little caffeine is fine. They each said up to 2 cups of coffee a day (which is even more diet coke). So don't beat yourself up too hard.

stars Come and join us! The more the merrier.

Happy anniversary to bastillebride!! If I remember correctly, tomorrow is the actual anniversary date.

Hey to everyone else.

[Kimmiebride]

That other format was driving me buggy. Ok, I am here!

Sick as a dog right now with one of those nasty summer colds. Probably from working too hard and not getting enough rest. Ok, so as soon as I type this I am going back to bed, since I have a wedding tomorrow and a dear friend coming into town today. Gotta get better NOW!

It's CD22 for me. We missed our chance for injectibles this month due to my traveling schedule. Not sure if we'll make it next month either as AF is due soon, and I have a wedding in Santa Barbara that will take me away next Friday, Saturday and Sunday. We'll see...
Anyway, good to have a new home over here, and I'll hopefully be able to keep better track of the thread. Mel, would love to have lunch with you and Bastille... it's been way too long!
Kimmie

[margiepgh]

Hi Kimmie - I'm glad you came over to CC! I've added your stats from WC onto the roster. Please let me know if there are any changes. :)

[Bubbas]

Another cheerleader/lurker here.

I will be 39 in Aug and I have a beautiful 8-1/2 month old son. We're not sure if we'll try for another or not but I want to subscribe just in case.

[Fireside Girl]

Hi stars and Bubbas,
Do you mind if I ask you a question?
I've been so concentrated for the past 3 years on getting myself pregnant that I haven't projected into the future past the baby actually being born. But I went to my regular OB/GYN yesterday, and he was talking about how a woman's reproductive system is like a train, and biologically it's designed to stop at certain stations at certain intervals in a woman's life. Biologically he is correct, hence some of the increased difficulties we 35+ people find getting pregnant and staying pregnant,(for the most part)

But it got me thinking about the pyscho-social and emotional aspects of having a baby off-time or later than usual. What are the best aspects of having a child at this age and what are the worst? Have most people been supportive or do they look at you in playgroups as odd and not belonging?

Capecod,
Don't worry about the needles. They look more intimidating than they are.

Kimmie,
Hope you are over your cold!

[stars]

Hi Fireside Girl, let me see if I can answer your questions without babbling :)

What are the best aspects of having a child at this age and what are the worst?

The best aspects I would say are that I have more patience then I did in my mid to late 20s. I've also done so much that I wanted to do before having a child ... travelled, sat down and actually read books :), bought nice things for myself and the house, etc., etc. As for the "bad aspects", I would say that if I could think of anything it would be that I don't have as much energy as I did 10 years ago ... by the end of the day I'm whipped out :o

Have most people been supportive or do they look at you in playgroups as odd and not belonging?

You would not believe how many "older mom's" I've met when my DS was at daycare ... having a baby later in life due to either fertility issues or women who want to focus on their career's is quite the norm now! I have NEVER felt odd or not belonging

Hope this helps :)

[Bubbas]

I also have more patience now than when I was in my twenties butother than that, there are really no best aspects. I wanted to wait until I was married before having a baby and since I didn't get married until I was 35, I had no choice but to have a baby later in life.

Worst aspects are being more tired and not being sure if we will have another one. I would love to give Zach a brother or sister, but with my history and age I don't know if it will happen.

I may be turning 39 in August but you would never know it by looking at me. Some people think I am still in my twenties so I really don't have any issues with my playgroups.

[Fireside Girl]

Thank you both for answering my questions.

The added perspective helped a lot, I think. :)

I found myself nodding along with stars about having already been able to pursue many of the adventures I wanted to and also having more patience. I found myself agreeing with Bubbas that I didn't meet my husband until I was 36, didn't get engaged until 37, and didn't get married until I was 38...so having children earlier wasn't an option. (plus I didn't even realize I wanted children until I met my husband).

Glad to hear playgroups and daycare are not an issue. It was a worry of mine.

sorry to margiepgh for temporarily derailing the thread

Back to our regularly scheduled programming... ;)

[LeighW]

Bonnie~My list of pros for being an older mom is about the same. I am glad I was able to travel, buy a house and nice things for it, concentrate on my career. But mostly, I am a lot more comfortable in my own skin than I was 15 or even 10 years ago, which I think makes me a better mom. And I have a lot more patience that I used to have. Another plus is that our mortgage will be paid off after my DD's first year of college. :)

I also met my husband at 35, got engaged at 36, and married at 37. I got pregnant 11 months later. Not much I could have done to avoid the "advanced maternal age" label.

On the downside, fatigue, fatigue, fatigue. Also, I've had a good experience at daycare, quite a few older moms. I have not had the same luck with playgroups. I've never joined one (although I work part-time and would love to find one that meets on weekends or my day off) because I've never found a group I felt I fit in with. I've always attributed that to my age, but maybe it's just a matter of personalities.

Kimmie~Sorry about the missed cycle and your cold. Summer colds suck.

Melissa and Margie~I've been wanting to read Inconceivable. That can be my lunch-time errand today. :)

Margie~I go back and forth on the caffiene issue. I gave it up completely last spring when I got pregnant for the second time, so I'll probably do it again (I fell off the wagon big time after my m/c). I tend to agree that a little here and there won't hurt anything, but I'm superstitious.

Capecod~I don't have much experience with needles, but the folks I know who done injectibles or IVF say that once you get started, it's not such a big deal. Just something you do.

Question: does anyone have any thoughts about TTC (or at least not preventing) the first cycle following a m/c? My ob said to wait for AF before TTC again. We never made it to the drugstore and I'm pretty sure I O'ed last week. At the time, I was thinking, "hey, maybe we'll get lucky." Now I'm wondering if my body isn't ready for this and I'm just setting myself up for failure. Assuming, of course, that lightning could strike twice and we caught the egg. It took almost a year for us both times, so it's a pretty big stretch to imagine we might have hit it the very first cycle this time.

Oh well, I guess there is always something to worry about!

[Bubbas]

leigh - I know a lot of dr's recommend waiting at least one cycle before trying again but I think a lot of it has to do with being able to date the pregnancy. Good luck!!

[Fireside Girl]

Leigh ,

Thanks for your well thought out answer. The being comfortable in your own skin definitely rings a bell. I think if I had a child in my 20s I would have been a very neurotic mother. :o

To answer your question, after my first miscarriage my regular OB/GYN told me to wait 3 months. After the second, the high-risk OB/GYN didn't tell me to wait at all. 2 different doctors, 2 totally different responses. As far as I know there isn't a physical reason they ask you to wait. Partly, I think it's to give you a little time to psychologically heal, and partly to be able to date the pregnancy.

[margiepgh]

It's great to have so much activity on this thread. :D
Welcome Bubbas - I've added you to our cheerleading squad!

LeighW - Our stories are pretty similar. I met my DH at 36, got engaged at 37, and married at 38. We started to TTC about 5 months after we were married and conceived our DS in about 5 months. So I really didn't have much of a choice about being a first time mom at 40.

ITA with most of what Stars, Bubbas, and LeighW say about being an older mom. For me, it's been mostly positive. I can't answer the playgroup question, since I work outside the home full time, but I definitely feel more financially and emotionally ready to be a mom than I did 10 years ago. I look younger than I am, so I haven't really stood out as being an older mom. Really my only concern is how old I'll be when DS graduates from high school. :eek:

[sublime311]

Me, too!

Sublime311
Me: Kelli (36)
DH: James (32)
TTC since 01/2004
Currently reading TCOYF to get on the charting bandwagon. :D

[LeighW]

Never mind about TTC-ing right after a m/c. Spot is here, so AF won't be far behind. :( Thanks all the same, though. :) I was thinking it was a matter of dating the pregnancy and emotional healing, so it's good to hear other similar opinions.

I did pick up "Inconceivable" yesterday and finished it last night. What a great book. She is a bit of a nut (aren't they all? ;)), but I loved the central message. Do what works for you, open yourself up to possibilities, nuture your body and your spirit. I know lots of other authors and experts say the same thing, but this book really speaks to me.

Bonnie~me too on would-have-been a neurotic mom in my 20s. My DD is much better off with me now, even if sometimes she has to beg to get me off the couch in the evenings. ;)

I'm the newbie around here, but welcome Kelli! I've lurked for a long time (here and at the old place), and the women are wonderful.

[Fireside Girl]

Kelli ,

Welcome to the thread and good luck with the charting! I never quite got the hang of that.

margiepgh ,
Thanks for the answer! :)

Has anyone heard from Bastille or teendoc?

Melissa ,
Are you cycling right now?

[margiepgh]

sublime - Welcome! I've added you to the roster. I chart, but I've never read TCOYF. I've pretty much learned all I know from my Ovusoft software, the Ovusoft website, and message boards.

LeighW - I'm only about 1/2 way through with Inconceivable. I'm very impressed by your fast reading. ;)

Fireside Girl - I haven't seen any posts from Bastille since she started her IVF cycle. I sure hope everything is OK.

[Kimmiebride]

Oh, I wish I was 38... let's change that to 40, shall we? My birthday is in a couple of weeks, so I am getting used to the big 4-Oh! TTC since 8/02 is correct... 3 very long years with nuthin so far to show for it. :(

No cycling this month. Since I have a wedding in Santa Barbara next weekend, they wouldn't let me cycle. ??? Not like they ever take appointments for bloodwork, U/S, or IUI on the weekends, but still they won't let me cycle. Bitter? mmmm hmmm. :eek:

Ok, hope everyone is doing well. I still have my cold. Had a great wedding last weekend, and another great couple coming up this weekend. All in all, I do so love my job!!!!
Kimmie

[Fireside Girl]

Kimmiebride ,

That must be really frustrating.

When I was still trying to get pregnant with my own eggs, every cycle where we weren't actively doing everything we could made me feel as I was watching my diminishing fertility slip away....It was really hard to deal with.

Glad to hear you have a good wedding coming up this weekend. I'd love to see some pictures.

[CapeCod04]

Has anyone been back to the WC thread? Maybe we have people still there? As for me, I start my meds for the first IVF cycle next Saturday. I'm ready!

[Fireside Girl]

Capecod ,
Good luck with starting your IVF cycle. I actually found the Lupron was less painful if I gave it to myself because I did it really quickly whereas my husband was really afraid of hurting me and therefore did it excruciatingly slowly.

I always hated the PIO shots, but I found icing beforehand made them bearable.

[CapeCod04]

Fireside Girl - what part of Connecticut are you in? I work in lower Fairfield County and my RE is there - actually all my doctors are in CT. I lived in CT all of my life until I moved in with DH - we have to live in NY because of his job. I miss CT. I've lived all over the Western half - Bethel, Norwalk, West Haven, Woodbury - I even made it to the Hartford area for a year, living in Vernon.

[melissafromnc]

Hey everybody. I don't have too much to report. DH and I need to send back our donor embryo form this week. We're hoping to come to some agreements tonight and finish filling it out. I guess we'll get better at this as time goes on.

I talked to bastillebride last week and hope to see her this week. I told her folks were asking about her here so I think we'll see a post from her soon.

I also talked to teendoc. She just started a new job last week and has a ton going on in her life.

kimmie Have you already been to Santa Barbara? I couldn't figure out which weekend it was. I'm hoping for a trip back this fall. We've only been back once since we moved up here.

capecod Wishing you all the best this cycle.

bonnie When do you start your cycle?

Hope everyone else is doing great.

I started a new job last Thursday. It's part-time (which I'm totally digging) and the people I work with are tons of fun. I'm teaching cooking at a place called Viking HomeChef. So far I've assisted 3 classes. It's exhausting but I'm learning a lot and havig a ball. I've got the rest of this week off then work mornings all next week.

[Fireside Girl]

Capecod ,

I grew up in Simsbury,lived in South Windsor for awhile, and am now in East Haddam. My RE is down at Yale-New Haven. My OB/Gyn is at Hartford Hospital.

My step-kids live on Long Island, so every other week we drive through Fairfield County and New York.(Except lately I haven't been going because my English Bulldog, who I've had since my single days, is in the end stages of Congestive Heart Failure). :(

Melissa ,
We have our match appointment August 1. If we decide on her as our donor we won't be cycling until November. So for right now we are just waiting around, and trying to NOT get pregnant.(Which is odd after so many years of trying...

[AusMarchBride]

delurking

Melissa You got the job!! Congratulations, it sounds fantastic.

back to lurking

[LeighW]

Kimmie~Very frustrating. :(

Capecod~How exciting to be starting your cycle. :) How are the shots going?

Margie~Finished the book yet? ;)

Melissa~Congrats on the job. It sounds terrific. I love working part-time. I would be even more part-time if it were economically feasible.

My report: AF came and went, so onward. :)

Why, oh why do I post on the general TTC/parenting board? There's a thread going on now about child spacing--lots of talk about not wanting to wait "too long" and how hard/impossible it is to get pregnant after 40. :( And, more importantly, why do I let it upset me??

[Bubbas]

Why, oh why do I post on the general TTC/parenting board? There's a thread going on now about child spacing--lots of talk about not wanting to wait "too long" and how hard/impossible it is to get pregnant after 40. :( And, more importantly, why do I let it upset me??

People that aren't/haven't gone through this are ignorant in what they say and they just don't know any better. I dealt with a lot of ignorant comments when I lost my first son.

It may be a little harder to get pg after 40 but it is not impossible!!

[bottleored]

Hi ladies! I'll try to be better at keeping up with this thread! Here are my stats:

bottleored
me: Caroline (39 in August)
DH: Paul (43)
TTC #1: Since 1/04
6 failed Clomid cycles (up to 150mg)
tubal recanalization for blocked tube 2/05
started injectibles 6/05

[margiepgh]

Welcome Bottleored! I've added you to the roster. I'm glad you made it over to CC.

LeighW - I'm embarassed to say I've been too busy to do any reading at home over the past week, so I'm STILL only about 1/2 way through Inconcievable. :o

Melissa - Thanks for the update on Bastille and Teendoc . Do you know them IRL?

------------

As for me, I had a positive OPK on Friday, so DH and I made sure to cover our bases. ;) On to the 2WW!

[CapeCod04]

Just a quick update - I have to get back to unpacking. We moved on Tuesday in all that heat - yuck! Better than the last time though - we moved the day of the Great Blackout in 2003 - 1/3 of our stuff got stuck at ground level when we were 10 flights up! Anyway - went to the RE this morning - I am nicely suppressed. I start my lupron on Saturday and the gonal-f on Sunday. Back to life as a pincushion!!

Welcome Bottleored!

Leigh - I'll just echo what Bubbas said!

[mobox]

Hi, I just found this thread! What a great idea...sometimes I feel alone and old in the TTC threads.

Maureen: 35
David: 35
OBC: 4/05
TTC: 6/05

I look forward to getting to know you all better! ;)

[melissafromnc]

Hey botteored . Good to see ya again. Welcome to mobox.

margieph --I do know bastille and teendoc in real life (and kimmie and a couple of old timers that don't post here anymore). I met them through the WC first. I'm lucky in that I live close to bastille and kimmie so we can get together. Teendoc took me in last fall when we were both cycling at the same clinic (where stars goes as well). We had a blast. Yay for covering your bases.

capecod Glad the move went well and the cycle is going well.

bonnie Are you meeting your donor? Is that what you mean by match appointment? That's MONDAY, right? Hope all goes well.

leigh I agree with the others. There's no way you could drag me to those boards.

Thanks ausmarchbride! It's been great so far.

Happy Weekend to all.

[tsmom]

Hey Guys....

It's LLN from the wc!!! You can run but you just cannot hide from me!!! I am so happy to find you and cheer each of you on!!!


all is well with me still sick but I see some light at the end of the tunnel. Off to catch up on what you guys are up to!

[margiepgh]

mobox - I'm glad you found us! I also feel a bit old on the other TTC threads.

tsmom - I'm glad all is well with you. I hope the morning sickness subsides soon. I hope you don't mind, I've added your name to the roster as part of the cheerleading squad. ;)

[Fireside Girl]

Melissa ,

The donor appointment was just to hear more about the donor and lock her in as OUR donor. We didn't meet her, as it's totally anonymous at Yale.

We went over her family's health history, all her bloodwork and screening, what is being done to prevent her from conceiving a honeymoon baby prior to donation,etc.

We could tell that the staff there really liked and thought very highly of our donor, which made us feel good about our decision to go with her and wait til she's available in November.

Welcome bottleored and mobox!

Hi LLN! Glad you found us.

[Applebee]

I'd like to join this thread! I have the same name on WC.

Me: Lori, 38 (39 in Dec)
DH: Ted, 35 (36 in Jan)
TTC #1: since Oct 04
M/C: Jan 97

I've had all the Day 3 tests and everything was fine. DH had an SA but it needs to be done again as it was incomplete thanks to a small specimen cup! :p

I've scheduled him a Urologist appt for next Friday (8/12). After that I'll call my doc and see what my next steps are and to see if Clomid is an option.

[margiepgh]

Hi Applebee - I've added you to the roster. :D

[CapeCod04]

Things are progressing well for me. I have a whole bunch of follicles growing. I do the trigger shot tonight, then the egg retrieval on Friday! I'm a little nervous and excited both.

[melissafromnc]

Yay CapeCod !! Sounds like things are going great for you this ivf. Good luck with the retrieval.

Welcome Applebee. Wishing you the best of luck. You might want to ask your doctor about letrozole/femara instead of clomid. It doesn't have the nasty side effects that clomid does.

bonnie So glad to hear such good things about your donor. I've spent the afternoon looking through profiles myself and it's overwhelming. All the donors I really like are requesting exhorbitant fees. As a former donor myself, that really turns me off. Did you feel like you got a lot of info on your donor? Do you get to see baby pics or anything? I find baby/childhood pics more interesting to me right now than anything else.

Hope everyone esle is doing great. I talked to bastillebride yesterday and know she's thinking of all of you.

[tsmom]

Capecod - hope the retrieval goes well - sounds like you have some good momentum going!

Bonnie - sounds like a good meeting and nice to hear that the people at the clinic thought highly of your donor. Sure that provides a wee bit more comfort.


Welcome Applebee! Hope you have a short stay.

Melissa - saw an ad for femara in a mag the other day and thought about your great advise!

Good to see everyone making some progress around here.

[mermccau]

May I join? :)

Mermccau (here, on WC, and on LJ)
Me: Meredith - 35 (or I will be in 3 days)
Husband: Sean - 31 in September
TTC: Last BCP taken on March 12th, 2005

I have ovulation strips that I use occasionally. Right now, I am at the point of trying to figure out some consistency to my cycle.

It will be great to get to know you all :)

[Kimmiebride]

Hi ladies!
Sorry I have been AWOL again for a little bit... working like a dog - 5 weddings last month and 6 weddings this month, and sessions and oh, yeah I turned 40. Oh, and for those poopie heads who said it's impossible after 40...

Here's what I got for my birthday today... ok, so my birthday was last Sunday, but it was soooooooooooo worth the wait. First Beta=178
http://www.millcottagebridal.com/digimage.jpg

That's one of my favorite pictures I have EVER taken! so.... sticky vibes please!!! Pinch me, I can't believe this is my life. At first I was thinking maybe I shouldn't tell anybody, since we all know how fragile this thing is, but I couldn't hold on my girlies, so now you guys know, Ray knows (funny how you plan for 3 1/2 years a cute way to tell your hubby, and when it happens you call him at work and just cry on the phone!!), my mom knows, and the lady who rear-ended me on the way to get my beta knows, and the insurance agent knows, and the people at Kaiser know, and the client I had to cancel tonight knows. So really I didn't tell anybody.... right? hee hee
:cool: Kimmie

[CapeCod04]

Congratulations Kimmie!! Wonderful news!!

[mermccau]

Kimmie, you were cracking me up with all the people you told :D

[Bastille]

Kimmie -

CONGRATULATIONS!! WOWOWOWOWOW!! This is the BEST news I have had in soooooo LONG!! WOWOWOW!

I am so excited I had to join CC and this is my first post here because I just wanted to send you hugs, blessings, kisses, prayers, etc!! WOW!

ENJOY!! MAke sure you take Progesterone (did you get that tested?), Prenatals and anything else the doc is telling you. What a great beta by the way!

Can't wait to hear more details.
Christina

[tenofcups]

I haven't posted much and don't "know" you all as many of you seem to do, but I had to chime in with a CONGRATULATIONS Kimmie! Even not knowing you, I had to smile when I saw your pic--best of luck to you and here's hoping the rest of us can soon post something similar. :)

[tsmom]

Kimmie - HOT DAMN!!!! That is the best news I have heard in forever!!!! Congrats to you and DH!!! I am sending you guys major sticky vibes!! What a wonderful surprise!!!

[Kimmiebride]

You guys are great!! Yep, Bastille, I started progesterone the minute I got home from Kaiser. Can you believe that I got in an accident on the way to my beta???? I was so freaked out beyond belief, but I guess if you're gonna get in an accident while you're pregnant, then the first couple of weeks are the best time to do it. I am lying down the rest of the day, and drinking a nice big glass of milk. I still can't believe it. And we did it on our own, which really makes me happy! We were on our way to IVF in a couple of months. I hope this little one sticks and grows strong and healthy. And of course I hope the same for each and every one of you! Ok, I am crying again... hormones!!! I love it!!! If I get morning sickness, I am going to give thanks every time I get sick. I hope I don't complain about anything along the way... if I do, you are all welcome to give me a huge smack!
Thanks again!!
Kimmie

[bottleored]

Kimmie - I'm so over the moon happy for you! Sticky, healthy, happy vibes for you! All the best - happy 40th!

[Fireside Girl]

Kiimiebride ,
That's awesome news!

mermccau ,
Welcome! You actually used to hang out in our wedding journal on WC. Hope your stay here is short ;) .

Bastille ,
So glad you came out of the woodwork! Hope you are doing OK.

Melissa ,
I'm truly sorry you are having a difficult time with the donor profiles. It's anonymous at Yale so we didn't get to read through any donor profiles. The coordinator there is generally an asswipe but I think she did a fairlyy good job at approximating what we want. Sometimes you can look at donor pictures (current, not baby) but I didn't want to-I've built up all these weird constructs in my head and somehow convinced myself that if I saw a picture of the donor it would be harder to think of myself as the mom.

Capecod ,
Good luck w/ ER and transfer. Are you doing anything special the day of ER? I know everytime I got pregnant (naturally,not IVF) I coincidentally also had a vanilla shake w/in the week and watched the entire season series of South Park. Then when I was pregnant I always felt like I had to give up South Park and act more appropriately!!!

tsmom ,
Thanks for the good wishes. It does give us a lot of comfort that they think of her so highly.

Applebee ,
Welcome!

[LeighW]

Congratulations Kimmie!!!

Wahoo!!!

I loved your story about telling folks and the photo!

Sending you many sticky vibes.

:)

[mobox]

Kimmie!! Yay for you and many congratulations!!!! Oh and happy belated birthday too. ;)

As for me, I'm CD26 and 10 DPO. This morning my temp went down. It had been steady at about 97.9-98.0 and this morning it was 97.5. I"m thinking AF is going to come although the fertility predictor on FF said that I had a high chance of being pregnant. Fingers crossed. :)

[stars]

Kimmie OH MY GOD! I'm so excited for you I can't stand it! What an awesome birthday present :)

[mermccau]

mermccau ,
Welcome! You actually used to hang out in our wedding journal on WC.

Oh, yeah? Which journal was that? :)

[margiepgh]

Kimmie - I'm so excited for you. :) :) I hope you'll stick around and keep us updated throughout your pregnancy.

mermccau - Welcome! I've added you to the roster.

Bastille - I'm glad you found us over here. How are things with you?

----------

Nothing new to report over hear. Last month was a bust, so I'm in the waiting to O phase. I've been holding off posting until I finished Inconcievable :o , but I had to stop in and send good wishes to Kimmie.

[Fireside Girl]

Meredith,

I had to go back to remember what it was called. We stopped posting there shortly after we were married. It was called "Through the looking glass: Bonnie and Timothy's Rollercoaster Ride. Here's a link...

http://boards.weddingchannel.com/thread.jspa?threadID=35972&start=600&tstart=0

[Bubbas]

Congratulations, Kimmie!!!

Sending huge STICKY VIBES.

[mermccau]

Fireside Girl,

Holy Cow! That is a blast from the past! Doesn't that seem like forever ago??

[Fireside Girl]

It really does. I did a doubletake when I saw your name.

I'm glad that year of craziness is over. I love being married, and I love the calm that it has brought to my life.

I hope you are doing well! :)

Are you charting? How long have you been trying?

[Hangin'in]

congrats kimmie ... what a wonderful gift.

[tenofcups]

Kind of a random thought, but I'm curious if any of you would feel the same way...

Menopause, The Musical is playing here in town. It's supposed to be a very funny show. FH has been doing the sound for the show and originally we discussed that if it was good, I'd go to see it (he can get me a seat for free). Well, he said it was very good, very funny.

Today is the last day the show is playing and I just don't want to go! Somehow, as I TTC at age 42, menopause just doesn't seem the slightest bit amusing to me.

He didn't push it when I told him I'd decided not to go, but I know he thought my thinking on this one was awfully weird. It's too late to go now anyway, but I'm just wondering if that makes sense to anyone else or is it just my own unique weirdness? :rolleyes:

[Dantan]

Congrats Kimmie,

I used to post on WC, but have primarily lurked for almost a year. Had to sign up to wish you all the best. Sending you tons of sticky dust.
Tania

[Kimmiebride]

Tenofcups... Menopause is a dirty word around here... I agree with you. I think I'd just be depressed even if it was funny.
Kimmie

[LeighW]

Tenofcups~I wouldn't go either. Just the thought is depressing.

Kimmie~How are you feeling? :)

[LeighW]

Kate~Thinking good thoughts for your transfer. Wasn't it yesterday?

[Kimmiebride]

HI guys,
just to update you on everything... I feel great - just tired all the time, and a little achy & bloated here and there. My second beta was yesterday, and from friday's 178 it went to 756! My doctor's office called, and said that was progressing nicely. I have to repeat on Thursday, and then I think they'll schedule my first visit. :D

My DH is another story. He's a mess. He said yesterday that he is really hating his job, and very frustrated with life, and not excited about having a baby now. WTF???? :confused: I knew there was a risk that I was going to be the one who was really wanting this more. Any suggestions on how to help him out? I know it's normal to be freaked out. He said, "I know I want a child when I die, I just don't know if now is the best time..." Hello, we have been trying for 3 years, and we are both 40. Umm, what time were ya thinking honey? 20 years from now or so? Men!!! Anyway, I do want to be sensitive to what he is going through, so if any of you ladies have any similar experiences with happy endings, please let me know.
Kimmie

[mermccau]

Kimmie,

I have a slightly similiar situation with my husband. I am 4 years older than him. We discussed having kids and we discussed not having them. I offered the option of being a family of two (him and me) and he stated that he did not want that. I firmly communicated that if we wanted children later in life, then we have to act now because I am not getting any younger.

We feel like your husband does. Sean and I are unsure about children now but we know we want them in our life. We just have to get over that hump and trust our abilities. Your husband will have to do the same.

It is funny how men and women panic differently when it comes to stuff like this. He is probably just freaking because of the financial aspect of things. I know that is what scares my husband; the ability to provide for his family. So, your guy may very well not mean what he says. He is just scared to death of being a good provider and verabalizing it.

[Bubbas]

kimmie - When I got pg the first time, it was just after I started a new job and we didn't have any insurance. I took an HPT, got a BFP and told DH. His first comment was: "What about insurance?" WTF?!?! He did get excited after that, however we lost that baby. :(

I think it sometimes takes men a little longer to get excited. Once you start showing and he can feel the baby, it becomes more real and that's when their excitement starts.

[CapeCod04]

Hello! Well - we did the transfer yesterday. They put four embryos back in - affectionately known as Iggy, Ziggy, Miggy & Biggy. The doctor was really pleased with how everything went. I wasn't thrilled with the pain of the full bladder! They actually had me empty out a little. It hurt pretty bad when they pressed on it for the ultrasound! Anyway, 3 of the eggs were grade 1.5, one was a 2. Two 6 cells, one 7 and one 8. They don't know yet if any of the rest could be frozen. So - we are hopeful! I was on bedrest yesterday, still taking it easy today - mainly sitting at the PC or laying on the couch. Tomorrow I may resume normal activity. My doctor's theory is "be nice to yourself" so that in case it fails, I don't have a lot of "what if I hadn't done....". I go back tomorrow for one blood test - a luteal test - whatever that is. Then on the 26th, I go for the pregnancy test. That is my 44th birthday - so this will be either my best birthday ever (after the one where DH proposed) or a not so hot one.

[margiepgh]

Kimmie - Your DH probably just needs a little time to get used to the idea of parenthood. My DH wasn't excited at all early in my pregnancy. When I showed him my first positive HPT he didn't even believe it was positive because the line was light. Everything changed when we heard the heartbeat together at the doctor's office at about 13 weeks and things became more real. He is now a wonderful father.

[Kimmiebride]

CapeCod04, sticky sticky for Iggy, Ziggy, Miggy & Biggy! Thanks for making me feel better guys! I know he'll come around. he already felt really guilty about making me sad last night!
Ok, back to work!!
Kimmie

[LeighW]

Kate~ Yay for Iggy, Ziggy, Miggy and Biggy! Sending you lots of sticky vibes.

Kimmie~Yes, I agree on the he just needs some time theory. My DH was anti, anti-child when we were dating and I was concerned. We called a truce when I finally said that having a child was a deal-breaker for me (after we were engaged). We agreed that if I couldn't live without a child, we'd adopt. One. Four months after the wedding, he was the one who suggested TTC-ing and he's never looked back. He is a great dad and LOVES it. Last summer, I was waivering about TTC#2 (we had a very tough first year with DD) and my DH is the one who convinced me to start trying.

[Fireside Girl]

Capecod,
Lots of sticky vibes! Please keep us updated.

[jlo2be]

I just wanted to pop in and lend my support. I was part of the thread on the other site until I got pg in August '03 (IUI). I was poking around this site and found that you all were over here as well. I was 41 when I had my DS and I'm 42 now. We want another one so who knows how that will go. It's bittersweet to see some of the same names as when I was was a member but I wanted to let you all know that you are fabulous and I'm cheering you on!!!

***Sticky vibes and baby dust to all!!!*** :)

[tsmom]

Just wanted to pop in and see how Iggy, Ziggy, Miggy & Biggy are doing!!!

Kimmie - give dh some time, sure he is just in shock and will come around! Hope you are feeling fantastic and that things are going well!

I am just waiting and waiting and waiting for my amnio results - I was hoping they would have them today but the genetic counselor said probably not until next week! Talk about a 2ww!

Melissa - how is the donor profiles going?

[CapeCod04]

lol TSMom - so far the "igs" are hanging in there - at least as far as we know! DH talks to them, encourages them to stick! He's so cute. I'm not minding the PIO shots as much as the Prometrium suppositories - ICK!

If you all would like a laugh - I guess I never posted here what I said to DH when I came out of the anesthesia after the ER. Most of it was real "stream of consciousness" type stuff - but there was the real good one. "Did you fill the cup? Did you use dirty pictures or dirty movies?" (I was asking how his "donation" went!) hahhaha

[teendoc]

Hi Everyone,

I haven't posted to the WC site in a million years. I've been doing most of my posting on Fertility Friend, but now in limbo land, I haven't been posting much at all.

It was by accident that I happened by the WC and saw that people have moved the thread over here. It is nice to catch up and see where everyone is.

We are planning to move to DE as my eggs seem to have expired. Oh well.

Kimmie: Congratulations on your pregnancy!

And we did it on our own, which really makes me happy! We were on our way to IVF in a couple of months.

I know that I am being a bit sensitive, but I have to ask, does the fact that you did it on your own mean that you will have a better baby than those of us who end up pregnant though ART? ;) I mean, ouch! That comment stung a bit.

Guess I'm still stuck in infertility hell and am sensitive to such words. Congratulations to you on getting out of this hell.

Take care, ladies. :)

[bottleored]

Kimmie: Congratulations on your pregnancy!
[*QUOTE]Originally Posted by Kimmiebride
And we did it on our own, which really makes me happy! We were on our way to IVF in a couple of months.[/QUOTE*]
I know that I am being a bit sensitive, but I have to ask, does the fact that you did it on your own mean that you will have a better baby than those of us who end up pregnant though ART? ;) I mean, ouch! That comment stung a bit.

Guess I'm still stuck in infertility hell and am sensitive to such words. Congratulations to you on getting out of this hell.
Speaking as someone who is also still in infertility hell, I'd be over the moon happy if I was able to conceive without drugs, shots, pills, procedures, ultrasounds, blood draws, expensive treatments, etc. I hope that one day I can share my wonderful news with this wonderfully supportive group of ladies. :)

[Kimmiebride]

Teendoc,
So sorry that you took my comment totally wrong. I was happy we did it on our own because it's been a long three years of disappointment after disappointment - month after month (we all know this feeling all too well), and it was a big surprise that we managed to do it without medical help. I WOULD NEVER imply that my baby is better than anyone's baby however that baby was gotten, ART, adoption, or any means necessary short of kidnapping. I am so surprised (and a little hurt) that you would think that of me. I have been in the hell of shots and expensive treatments and u/s and think it's a highly worthwhile trek I would continue, and who knows, might have to continue. I hope these comments help you know where I am coming from. Bottleored, thanks for chiming in! I appreciate your support!

Capecod04, that is hysterical. When my DH had to go for the "contribution" he said that he was going to write a book called, "The Birds, the Bees and the plastic cup!"
Kimmie

[mobox]

Hi everyone,
I've been so absent from baby making threads...just trying my hand at "not thinking about it so much." I have found myself obsessing. However, after 3 months of charting I have found that my luteal phase is extremely short--10 days on average. SO, we are going to try again this month and then my OB says, come in and get checked.

Did anyone else experience this and have to take progesterone pills???

CONGRATS KIMMIE! That is awesome news. :)

[mermccau]

Kimmiebride,

For the record, I do not think you said anything wrong. You stated you meant nothing malicious which could easily be assumed anyway. You are not being mean spirited, therefore, your happiness for your process and progress is understandable and should be verbalized, in my opinion.

[teendoc]

I am not clear why if someone points out that a particular statement did not find them so well, there is an assumption that the poster deliberately meant to hurt others with his/her words. Then other posters jump to the OP's defense and polarization ensues.

Let me be clear. I did not in any way believe that Kimmie deliberately made her statement to denigrate those who had to use ART to conceive. Yet and still, some of us were hurt by her words regardless of her intent. It is important to speak up when words are hurtful regardless of the person's intent. This can help us all think about phrasing when writing posts in sensitive areas such as this. And there is little more sensitive than dealing with infertility.

Kimmie, I appreciate your words and again did not intend to hurt you by pointing out how your words affected me. This was not about hurting anyone. It was about sharing feelings. Feelings are neither right nor wrong...they just are what they are.

So again, no need for polarity here. I need no defense and neither does Kimmie (from where I sit, but I cannot truly speak for her here) because no attacks were being launched. To share feelings is not to attack.

Peace, ladies.

[pixielou]

first - a huge congrats to kimmiebride!!! sticky sticky baby dust to you!!!! i am so happy for you.

i just wrote a long post - but then i was told i wasn't logged in, and once i logged in again (how am i not logged in if they know i'm reading this thread???)

it's good to see so many familiar wc names here. though i can't remember when i last readwc - nevermind posted on it.

so i'll just quickly post my stats and wax poetic later.

me - 41
dh - 38
dd - anika - born 9.27.04
ttc #2 - since 6.5

we're supposed to visit the re in september. but not sure if i'm ready. i'm freaking since my ob is on leave of absence - she had back surgery. and i don't know if i could handle being pregnant without *my* ob. ttc and being pg with #1 wasn't the easiest - 2 mc's,vts, pih, premature labor, 7 months of bedrest.

[ejs]

Hi. DH and I are in the stage of gathering info to decide if we want to TTC or adopt children. I'm 37; he's 38. I have a meeting scheduled with my ob/gyn next Tuesday to discuss everything with her.

I already have some questions I want to ask, but I'm sure there are more. Do any of you have a list of questions you asked your ob about TTC after age 35?

Thanks.

[CapeCod04]

EJS - I had no list of questions when I met with my doctor. Basically - I wanted to know what the odds were without assistance, what could I do to improve my chances and what were the risks. When we were told what we could do to improve our chances, we asked a lot of questions about each procedure that were along the same lines - odds and risks. If you get into discussing procedures, you may want to ask them to walk you through how each works. Ask about the drugs you have to take, the risks & side-effects of the drugs, do the drugs need to be stored specially (i.e. refrigerated), the timing of each step, how often you go to see the doctor, if and when you will need bed rest or a day off work. Also, you may want to check your calendar and think about obligations you have that may interfere with the schedule for a procedure. You'll find that more planning goes into it - like the time I had to make arrangements for someone else to accept delivery of my drugs and make sure they got into the refrigerator so that I could go ahead with a planned work outing I had.

Good luck!!

[melissafromnc]

Well CC is getting more and more like the WC every day. I just had a post I was working on disappear not once but twice. I also haven’t been getting notifications on a regular basis but that seems to have gotten better over the last week or so as I went back to work and especially now that I’m on vacation.

It’s looks like some of our old friend from the WC have finally found us like teendoc, bastille, jlo2be and pixielou. Three of those names are very familiar to me and I love your new name, pixielou. ;)

Now I can already see this is going to be a really long post from me so please bear with me (or just skip ahead).

ejs Welcome! CapeCod gave you some good advice but I’ll chime in a bit as well. I started ttc at 37 and had a ‘pre-conception’ appt with my doc at the time (unfortunately I was with Kaiser back then so it wasn’t very good). She said there wasn’t anything special I should be concerned about and did a regular physical. Knowing what I do know, I wish 2 things: 1: I wish that I started charting even before ttc because that can give you a lot of good basic info about your cycle and 2: I wish that my doc had run some simple blood work in addition to the fairly generic tests that she did. Those tests include the standard cd3 and 7dpo bloodwork, tsh, prolactin and I’m not sure what else. Best of luck to you!

pixielou So VERY good to see you here, my friend. I hope the road is much easier for you this time around. Can’t wait to hear the waxing poetic.

capecod How are you holding up in the 2ww?

stars Dylan looks appropriately freaked out by the large rodent next to him. Sounds like you guys had a fab vacation.

mobox I’m a sister of the very short luteal phase myself. I have cycles where it’s been as short as 8 days. When I make it to 11 or so I’m generally thrilled. I do supplement with progesterone (not the cream but the suppositories which are more effective than either the cream or the bills) and that can help a lot of folks. In my case, I think my low progesterone is related to my high fsh and I’m just not producing a great quality follicle which in turn has a weak corpus luteum and doesn’t pump out the progesterone needed. Some obs and res will prescribe clomid or femara so you get a ‘stronger o’ and then you don’t even need the progesterone. Many docs feel that a short luteal phase is more indicative of a ‘weak o’ than just a progesterone problem.

tsmom Hope you get your amnio results soon and that all is well.

mermccau Welcome! FWIW, I had a hard time with opks myself and got really lucky when a friend gave me her fertility monitor. I think you can get them fairly cheaply on ebay (or maybe through a friend). You get much more info than the opks so might be worth looking into (and opks are kinda expensive so it doesn’t take long to pay the price of the monitor—which you can always sell on ebay and recoup some if not all of your cost).

margieph Don’t wait to post!! We miss you. What do you think of Inconceivable so far?

kimmiebride Congrats on your great news! I’m so glad to hear all is going well.

I hope that anyone I missed is having a great weekend.

My update: I just started Armour thyroid medication for an undiagnosed mild case of hypothyroidism. I’m hoping this helps improve my overall symptoms. Not much to report ttc wise—I’m still overwhelmed with decisions and donors but really lucky to have friends irl (and the ‘net) who have given me great counsel and advice. They are all much smarter than me so I hope that’s a bit contagious as well.

[melissafromnc]

At the risk of causing more problems on this thread, I feel like I need to chime in a bit to what teendoc has said in her last (and first) couple of posts. I think it’s important that we all can feel safe here and express our feelings. I read the posts earlier this week and had the same reaction that teendoc (and likely others) did to what had been written.

Knowing kimmie personally, I was sure that she didn’t mean anything malicious or hurtful by what she had said but I also found it to be insensitive. And it probably hurt a little more coming from someone who’s been in the trenches herself.

I do think it’s important that if anyone is hurt they feel comfortable enough to say that. In fact, I thought about writing a post several days ago but I couldn’t find the right words and got caught up with work and other things. I’m grateful that Liana spoke up because it made it easier for me to do the same.

I care a lot about the people on this thread and want it to be a place where all feelings (good and bad) can be shared and we can be honest with each other. There have been times in the past where comments were made and feelings hurt (not by any folks currently in this thread) that caused people to leave-some for a while and some forever. I don’t want to see that happening again and I hope that we can just be sensitive to the diversity of experiences within this thread.

Trying to conceive (#1, 2 or whatever) when you’re over 35 is scary and hard. We face issues that younger women don’t and are forced to at least consider the difficulties that may lie ahead of us. Add to that the powder keg of infertility and you’ve got quite the mix. Infertility is hell—no two ways about that, no matter what your age. Many of us on this thread have been through a lot whether trying to get pregnant, stay pregnant or grieve for losses and move on. Some of us have been lucky and had easier times. I hope that we can all support each other. I treasure the support that I’ve gotten here more than probably any other thread and want it to feel that way for everyone.

[jesseybell]

I haven't had a chance to read all the posts yet.
As of yesterday I qualify for this group. 35 yesterday, married 3 mos. today, OBC 7/1/2005, first AF 8/10/2005, hoping for O this week

History of endometriosis and a DES Daughter

[margiepgh]

Welcome jesseybell ! I'm glad you found us. What does DES stand for?

---------

I've found the discussion on this thread of late to be very insightful. I think Melissa said it well: Trying to conceive (#1, 2 or whatever) when you’re over 35 is scary and hard. We face issues that younger women don’t and are forced to at least consider the difficulties that may lie ahead of us. Add to that the powder keg of infertility and you’ve got quite the mix. Infertility is hell—no two ways about that, no matter what your age.

You can definitely see these feelings on other threads as well. I recently read a thread in the Family Planning section on how painful it is to go into Babies R Us, which really opened my eyes into the pains of infertility. My pain is a little different and comes more from seeing so many other moms with kids the age of my son either pregnant or having already delivered a second child. I really don't know if it will be possible for me, given my age, and I'm a little sad that my DS may go through life without a sibling.

---------------

I had a positive OPK on Sunday. We definitely covered our basis this month, so I am officially now in the 2WW. Given that this is Cycle #10 of TTC, we made a decision to see a RE, if things don't work out this month. I've located a few at the local women's hospital that are providers within my insurance plan, so I am going to make an appointment now, with the hope that I'll be able to cancel. I've also read up my coverage and learned that my health plan covers testing and medication, but does not cover IUI and IVF. Really, this whole thing is a bit emotionally draining, it's hard to think that it could be financially draining as well. :(

[ejs]

I met with my ob/gyn today about DH and I considering TTC. She gave me many things to think about. The stats are pretty depressing.

If DH and I decide to TTC, our first step is to talk with my other docs about meds I'm on for my various ailments. My ob/gyn told me which one she is fine with me taking. The next step would be to meet with a genetic counselor.

When we're ready to go for it, she said to just have fun for three to six months. She said don't worry about charting or ovulation or BBT or anything, just have a lot of sex and see what happens. If we haven't had any luck in six months, we'll talk about our options.

Now DH and I need to make a decision.

[mermccau]

melissafromnc - Thanks for the welcome and the advice of the fertility monitor. I am actually looking on Ebay right now :)


I do not know if I am having a hard time conceiving or if my husband and I do not see each other enough to have sex! I mean, we do but sometimes, it is not of the baby making kind :o

Anyway, my OB/GYN has suggested that I can get some bloodwork done if I want. I may go that route but I feel that I should REALLY concentrate on tracking my cycle before I do that. What do you ladies think? Is it just easier to get the bloodwork to test for ovulation so that takes the guessing game out of it?

Geesh, mammogram and TTC appointments. This is all new to me! Have we all had our baseline mammograms done????


I am a reluctant mother, by the way. We want kids but we wish we were younger because we are not 100% ready for it now. I think the stuff in BRU is cute but I do not get sad or anything. I figure, it will happen if it happens. If it does not, we can adopt or travel the world or something! :)

[LeighW]

Meredith~I haven't had much testing done, so I'm probably not the best person to give you an opinion on getting the bloodwork done. But, I do know that the progesterone test (CD21, really, 7DPO) can be misleading if done too early or too late. So, unless you are charting or otherwise know when you ovulate, I would skip that one. The CD3 or 5 bloodwork should be fine, we all know what CD is it for the first two weeks or so.

I would start charting. Knowledge is power--it will be really helpful to understand your cycles if you end up doing any type of ART.

I've been having mammograms for 6 (!) years. Eeeek.

EJS~I would chart from the beginning. My ob also gave me that "just have fun" line. That might be OK for a 25-year old with a strong O and gobs of EWCM--but I would not recommend it (even if you have a strong O and gobs of EWCM ;)). Plus, if you end up taking the next step in 6 months, it will be helpful to have a handle on what's going on in your cycles.

Margie~Yes, you and Melissa both said it well. This is painful, whatever your situation. I guess it is natural to quit focusing on something once you have it (getting a new job, getting married, having a baby) and start focusing on the next thing (a better job, a better DH--j/k!, another baby). For me, I still want another child, but I'm trying to focus on being grateful for all the wonderful things I already have.

Good luck this cycle!

Welcome Jesseybell!

Melissa~I've read lots of stuff connecting mild thyroid issues to TTC problems. :) Do you read profiles of donors and then have the opportunity to choose? That sounds very stressful. Is the fee the same for all of them?

Hi Pixielou~You are at a great TTC age. :)

Capecod~Wishing you a speedy 2WW.

Kimmie~How are you feeling? Still tired and/or pukey, I hope.

Gotta run. Must actually accomplish some work.

[tsmom]

Kate - Thinking positive positive (better only say 2 :) ) thoughts for you tomorrow!!!!

Kimmie - hope you are doing well !

*******

"Knowledge is Power" This should be our mantra here :)

Amnio came back great - we have a healthy baby boy growing in there!

Welcome Pixielou!!!

Hope everyone is doing well and has some good news to report soon!

[mobox]

mobox I’m a sister of the very short luteal phase myself. I have cycles where it’s been as short as 8 days. When I make it to 11 or so I’m generally thrilled. I do supplement with progesterone (not the cream but the suppositories which are more effective than either the cream or the bills) and that can help a lot of folks. In my case, I think my low progesterone is related to my high fsh and I’m just not producing a great quality follicle which in turn has a weak corpus luteum and doesn’t pump out the progesterone needed. Some obs and res will prescribe clomid or femara so you get a ‘stronger o’ and then you don’t even need the progesterone. Many docs feel that a short luteal phase is more indicative of a ‘weak o’ than just a progesterone problem.

Thank you for this advice. I have been told by a couple others to try the P-cream. I think I'll get the suppositories too just to see which one I think I will want to try. If this month is no-go, next month I see the doc.

Is it totally irrational to think that after 35, if you can't conceive after 3-4 months that you should see the ob? My friend was like, "Wait a year." I said, are you crazy? You were 35 when you had your baby but not everyone is that lucky. I told her my doc said 3-4 months and come back in.

I had really watery CM yesterday and some cramping last night....I'm thinking I ovulated. Which is CD14 (MUCH MUCH better than CD19). Now if AF can hold out for 13 days, we'll be in business!!!! Longer LP.

Have a fun baby making weekend everyone!!!

[CapeCod04]

I had my first beta on Friday the 26th - it was 33, the low end of positive. So - the doctor was "cautiously optimistic". It was awful waiting over the weekend. I had the second beta today, it was 22. They said it was a chemical pregnancy. We are going to try again. I go in next Wednesday for a follow up with my RE and see when we ramp up again.

[Fireside Girl]

Capecod,
I am so so sorry. Please be extra good to yourself right now and take care of yourself. I was really hoping for good news for you and am saddened by your news.

[LeighW]

I'm sorry Capecod. So unfair. :(

[pixielou]

capecod sorry to hear your news. i've had a few miscarriages myself - so i truly understand your grief.

tsmom congrats on a healthy baby boy!

as for the whole charting vs having fun - i guess i would recommend charting for a month - then if things look "normal" - as in you ovulate mid cycle, have a decent luteal phase, cm matches up with your cycle - then go ahead and have fun for a couple months. but - if you notice something unusual with your chart, then i'd get right in to see the doc and i would continue charting.

i myself am a member of the short luteal phase club (i can't stand calling it a luteal phase defect). i haven't charted at all post-dd, but my cycles are the same length as before, so it's pretty safe to assume that i still have the lpd. so i don't want to stress myself out with taking my temp every morning.

i called my re's office to set up and appointment. i remember last time it was a 2 month wait to get in. so i was expecting the same this time. to my surprise, they offered me an appointment for friday. apparently since i am a "repeat patient" i don't have to wait for appointments. i'm not emotionally ready for an appointment this week. so i set up an appointment for october.

[tsmom]

Capecod - so sorry to hear your news, I am happy you are gearing up to go again and hopefully this will be the last time :p !!!

pixielou - good luck with your re appt! I had a 3 month wait for mine too :)

[margiepgh]

capecod - I was sad to read about your news. :( I'm glad to hear you're giving it a second try. I hope you have an opportunity to relax and enjoy yourself for a few weeks before you try again.

tsmom - Great news about the amnio results! :)

mermccau - I haven't had the baseline mammogram yet. My Ob/Gyn starts them at 40, but since I was pregnant at the time I didn't get one. I'm a bit overdue for my yearly appointment, and am expecting to need one after my next appointment.

Kimmie - I hope you are doing well. Please don't let the recent discussions keep you from posting, we'd love to hear how you are doing.

-------------------

Well, my birthday is on Friday, so I won't be a young woman of 41 much longer. ;) At that point I'll be 11 DPO and I'm not sure if I'll test then.

I finally sat down for an hour yesterday and finished Inconcievable. :o I could somewhat relate to the author in that she married and had a child late in life and was having difficulty conceiving a second. I had a little trouble relating to some of her methods (e.g. colonics, vegetarian, juicing, yoga, accupuncture, visualization, etc.), since I am a very convential type of person. But it was great to see that she could take matters into her own hands and at least do some things that improved her odds. So all and all, I'd recommend it as good read. It isn't really very long, so it can be read in a few evenings if you have peace and quiet (which I never do).

[LeighW]

Pixielou~I hear ya on not being ready for an RE appointment. My ob told me to come in 3 months after my d&c if I weren't pregnant by then (ha! what was he thinking?) and I haven't made the appointment yet, although I should for September. Just not ready to deal with all that.

Add me to the short luteal club member list. My LP is usually 9-11 days. I do temp and chart, but I'm trying not to stress about it, since I have conceived twice and had one successful pregnancy. I have used progesterone cream (topical) in the past, but it didn't seem to have any effect, so I stopped.

Margie~I agree with you in Inconceivable. I related a lot to the author, and I'm interested in alternative medicine and trying a few things on my own [;)], but she is kinda out there. Still, it is great to hear about women taking matters into their own hands and being successful.

Happy Birthday early! I'm not far behind you--I'll be 42 in a few months.

Speaking of alternative medicine, are there any Dr. Andrew Weil fans around here? I read his book "Eight Weeks to Optimum Health" a few years ago, tried most of his suggestions and felt great. I slowly fell off the wagon. I just re-read it, and I'm trying it again. It's sort of a Western, more main-stream version of the diet and supplement suggestions from "The Infertility Cure" and "Inconceivable." And he talks a lot about stress reduction, relaxation techniques, and generally finding happiness and inner peace.

Anyway, I'm feeling a lot better after incorporating his suggestions during the past two weeks. More energy, less headaches, and I've even lost a few pounds. :)

Capecod~Still thinking of you.

Kimmie~Yes, we'd love to hear how you are doing!

What's everyone doing for the weekend? We're off to the outer banks (North Carolina) tomorrow to meet up with lots of family. My DD always has a blast with her cousins, and I'm hoping for a couple of early morning walks on the beach.

[Kimmiebride]

Hi ladies,

First of all, CapeCod, I am so sorry to hear the news! Sending you my best wishes for the next cycle.

Margie, happy early birthday!!

LeighW, walks on the beach are sounding divine. I have two weddings next weekend, and know I will be exhausted! Going to Nantucket the following week though for a week of r&r mixed with a great wedding, so I plan for some beach walking for sure!

Ok, I was holding off on being a part of this thread, since I was really hurt by what happened and the reactions to my pregnancy announcement. I didn't want to make the mistake of saying something else that others might take the wrong way or be hurt about again. Honestly when reading those comments, I felt like just because we had been trying for 3 years, but hadn't had m/c's or ectopics or failed IVF that our suffering didn't really "count." I am sure that's probably not what anyone intended either, but that's how it made me feel, and it hurt. I also didn't want to further polarize the thread by saying how I felt in the heat of the moment (hormones just make this worse), and have anyone feel the need to "take sides" since there are no sides to take, so I figured the best thing to do was leave and time would hopefully heal whatever hurts have been caused. I missed you guys terribly, like I was all of a sudden all on my own... And eventually checked in from time to time... It's hard not having someone your own age who's been through the infertility hell with you to share this with, besides DH, who after a bit of a rough start has been fantastic. At least there are some SAI folks on the April thread so I can relate with them, but no one really talks about how scared you are every day that something will go wrong when it's taken such effort to get here in the first place.

Thanks to everyone who sent me PMs and asked about me here! My last beta was 17,431, and we're scheduled for our first u/s this friday. I am feeling pretty good, very sore bbs, dog tired and a little bit of m/s from time to time, but no complaining here. One day at a time...
All my best to each of you,
Kimmie

[mobox]

Kimmie~~ Welcome back. I for one love to hear about success!!! :)

Add me to the short luteal club member list. My LP is usually 9-11 days. I do temp and chart, but I'm trying not to stress about it, since I have conceived twice and had one successful pregnancy. I have used progesterone cream (topical) in the past, but it didn't seem to have any effect, so I stopped.

Me too...19-11 days. I never knew until I charted. I am going to try the pg cream after this cycle is over. I'm in the 2WW right now so we'll see what happens.

[pixielou]

thanks for updating us kimmie. those beta's sound great! anxiously awaiting u/s news!!!

[tsmom]

Margie ---- Happy Birthday to you!!

Kimmie - So nice to see you here, I have been lurking in the March/April thread checking up on ya!!! Nice to hear that you are feeling pretty good and have fantastic beta #'s!!!! Please fill us in after your u/s! I had my level 2 yesterday and it was amazing to see all the organs and details. I totally understand about the fear of something going wrong each and every day~ I have now been through 18 weeks of that and still have a good 19 more to go. It is nice to have others who understand it is more than what color you are going to paint the nursery!

Hope you all have a fantastic day!

[bottleored]

Hi ladies!

I know I wasn't a big part of the thread, but I wanted to let you all know that I'm cautiously announcing my BFP :D

After 22 months of trying/charting/medicating/injecting and 2 BFNs on HPTs, I got a low positive HCG level (23) on Monday (the day before my 39th birthday) and my second betas came in yesterday at 63. Not great, but doubling.

I'm still very cautious because I seem to have antibody issues and will be on a blood-thinner for at least 12 weeks. We'll do more antibody testing next week to keep an eye on it.

Thanks to everyone for your support - I wish all of you the best in your journey to motherhood.

-------------------------------
capecod04 I was really saddened to read about your betas. I really wish the best for you next cycle.

[Kimmiebride]

Popping in to say a big congrats to bottleored! We're all here pulling for you!
Kimmie

[margiepgh]

Bottleored - CONGRATULATIONS!!! :) I'm sending lots of sticky vibes your way! Please keep us updated throughout your pregnancy.

[Fireside Girl]

bottleored,
Congratulations on your BFP :) .

Sending you lots of sticky vibes!

[pixielou]

congratulations bottleored!

i remember when i first got pregnant, my re's office gave me some great literature about pregnancy after fertility issues. pretty much - you have waited years for this day to happen - your BFP! and instead of joy and elation, all of a sudden you are surrounded by a new set of fears. cautious optimism sums it up. you used to be worried about getting pregnant. now you worried about staying pregnant. (and in 9 months, you will be worried about taking care of a newborn - another set of fears and challenges - i guess our worries never end!)

so try not to worry too much. though it's normal to worry. and try to enjoy this happy news that you have been waiting so long to hear.

~pixie

[tsmom]

congratulations bottleored!
You are surrounded by a new set of fears. cautious optimism sums it up. you used to be worried about getting pregnant. now you worried about staying pregnant. (and in 9 months, you will be worried about taking care of a newborn - another set of fears and challenges - i guess our worries never end!)

so try not to worry too much. though it's normal to worry. and try to enjoy this happy news that you have been waiting so long to hear.

~pixie

Very well said Pixie!!!

A big giant Hug CONGRATS to you bottleored!!!

[jesseybell]

I just wanted to let people know what "DES" is.
DES (it has a long medical term) is a drug that women were given from I think the 1950s to early 1970s to prevent miscarriages. My mom had had 6 (as had my grandmother). Unfortunately the drug was found to be unsafe and was causing harm to the children who resulted.

The biggest issue can be an irregular shaped uterus and increased chances of cervical cancer. I've been going to the GYN since I was 14.
Luckily my uterus is okay and all my PAPs have been fine.
I do run the risk of a incompetent cervix, so I will probably be sent to a high-risk OB once I do get pregnant.
I also have a history of endometriosis.

I've always thought I would have problems staying pregnant (and of course my mother doesn't know why she had so many mcs so they can't test me) but right now I not sure if I am even Oing but I just came off the Pill so it may just be that. So right now I am just concentrating on getting pregnant.

So with my issues and now my age (throw in a few extra pounds that I really should have, though I don't suspect I have PCOS) and I could be in for a long ride, but I have GOT to stay positive (something my mother is not at all, so unfortunately I am not sharing anything with her and my DH is opposite- he thinks I will get pregnant right away....)

I am looking forward to sharing this journey with everyone. I have an OB appointment in October (haven't had one since last November) and I am going to discuss a plan with her (blood tests, how long we'll wait to have DH tested, stuff like that).

[Bastille]

Kimmiebride I was so EXCITED to read on another thread that you saw your baby's heartbeat - what an incredible moment. So thrilled for you and wanted to send you Congrats again and a big birthday HUG! Would love to see you and buy you a....soda water :)

Bottleored Yippee another BFP on this thread that is always so wonderful to read

TsMom Just have a huge grin on my face as I read your amnio results were 100% positively good and that T is going to have a little brother. You can now "enjoy" your pregnancy and sail into being a mommy of 2 which I hear is much more intense than being a mommy to 1.

PixieLou Hoping Anika will have a baby bro/sis soon as well. I know your pregnancy with Anika was difficult so I really admire you on going through the whole process again. Anika is such a cutie, can't believe she is almost 1!

Melissa Would love to see you soon and catch up. I have some decisions to make and know that you have such an amazing perspective and knowledge regarding ttc. Hope you are doing well.

Margie Belated Happy Birthday to you as well!

Hello to everyone else.

___________________

I am in the 2 WW of a natural cycle, I had a cyst on my ovary so RE wouldn't do a medicated IUI this cycle. Am debating on going to IVF with SIRM, like the thought of their Estrogen Priming Protocl and antagonist/agonist protocol for "older" women and poor responders.

I have decided to stop letting ttc run my life and go back to a full time job and if a BFP happens, it happens. Putting all my eggs in one basket so to speak - trying to take it easy, not work too hard, pull back from friends and life in general has been HORRIBLE. For some reason I thought that strategy would work and it just has not as there has been no progress towards self fullfillment as a mommy or in any other capacity. This tragedy with Hurricane Katrina has changed my attitude a bit as life can change at any moment so need to be ALIVE now and not just waiting for something that might happen.

[bottleored]

Thanks so much for the hugs and congratulations ladies!

I've posted my news on a few threads, but none have touched my heart as this - you have waited years for this day to happen - your BFP! and instead of joy and elation, all of a sudden you are surrounded by a new set of fears. cautious optimism sums it up. you used to be worried about getting pregnant. now you worried about staying pregnant. (and in 9 months, you will be worried about taking care of a newborn - another set of fears and challenges - i guess our worries never end!) It just brought tears to my eyes. Thank you so much pixielou and tsmom. It's still so new to me and I know it'll get better as every day passes. I've started to read a lot about pregnancy after IF and there are so many emotions. I get my 3rd betas back today (I haven't had b/w since Wednesday), so hopefully I'll start to feel even better.

Bastille so wonderful to hear from you! life can change at any moment so need to be ALIVE now and not just waiting for something that might happen Amen to that. I wish you all the best!

jesseybell welcome! My cousin's wife was a DES baby and they had 2 babies (one is 16 now), so I'm pretty familiar with some of the hurdles. All the best for you.

[Kimmiebride]

Bastille!!! Yes, let's get together! This week is insane, but could maybe do a decaf with you on next Tuesday - I am leaving that night for a wedding in Nantucket, and I think I have to be in Santa Clara by 5:00 or so in order to get to the airport with the other photographer in time for our "redeye" (not pleased about that choice, since I can't sleep on planes, and so I will be a wreck the next day when we arrive. and I can't do what I used to do which is drink a few Gin&Tonics... Anyway, let me know what your schedule is for Tuesday, and maybe we can get together! Be ALIVE now! Words to live by, for sure!

I echo Caroline's thoughts about what Pixielou posted... that is the perfect way to describe how I feel. Each day worrying about every little twinge, and hoping all is going well in there. Seeing the heart beat was amazing, but since I have seen so many folks who have experienced heartbreaking losses, it's hard to relax, and think I could be one of the lucky ones. I keep saying it... one day at a time...
Kimmie

[bottleored]

Looks like I'm back if you'll have me.

My betas came in at 3 - negative for pg. Soon after the news I started spotting, then bleeding. More b/w today and I'll speak to the RE this afternoon. We are crushed.

[pixielou]

caroline - that is horrible news. i am so sorry to hear that. sending big hugs your way.

~pixie

btw - our anniversaries are a day apart - i got married 10-10-3

[Fireside Girl]

Caroline,
I am so sorry to hear that news. It's horrible and I hope you and your husband are gentle to yourselves.

FWIW, I had hoped to cheer you on in the thread as your pregnancy progressed.

[LeighW]

Caroline~I'm so sorry. It sucks. :(

[Hangin'in]

caroline I'm so sorry to hear your news.

[stars]

Caroline I am so very sorry to hear your news, hang in there and try to be good to yourself.

[tsmom]

Caroline - like the others have said I am so saddened by your news. Please be good to yourself and try to stay positive.

Kimmie - Bastille - So nice to see you ladies!!!

Hi to everyone else!

[Bastille]

Caroline - I was so saddened to read your news. Please know that there is support for pregnancy loss - many good books (Silent Loss was helpful) and surprisingly many woman have gone through it (seems like a silent epidemic) and can be a source of strength. The pain does not go away, sometimes a grief ceremony, saying a prayer and letting go of a balloon (we did this after m/c #3 after we saw a heartbeat and this has been our most painful m/c so far - the grief ceremony was helpful for Dh and I). There is also a thread for m/c that you might want to check out. If you are not ready to do this that is ok too. Love yourself and try not to hate your body.

Kimmie - Tuesday may work. I can even be in on the Peninsula - I would love to see your new store in San Carlos & I spend a lot of time in Belmont where I grew up and my mom lives). Let me know what your schedule and we can hook up and you can spread on your baby dust!!

[bottleored]

Thanks for all of your kind words ladies. What a rough week it was. All the words about 'be good to yourself' really helped. It's so easy to play a blame game of 'shoulda, woulda, coulda'. In my mind I know there was nothing I could have done, but my heart still hurts.

Bastille thanks for the advice about the book and seeking support and the grief ceremony.

pixielou coming up on 2 years, huh? Time definitely has flown.

We decided to move ahead with the cycle. Since my hCG and other numbers were where they needed to be, I'm back living life as a pin cushion. We're doing Gonal-F, low dose hCG and now Metformin (something about preventing loss - I don't have PCOS). The plan is basically the same as last month (since it worked initially). I had karyotyping b/w done and my DH will have his tomorrow. I'm really scared of those results.

[rene']

Hello ladies. I'm not sure if I am "officially" joining or not. ;) I do have a question, though. Can anyone give me any statistics on pregnancy when reaching 35+ (I'm 35 now)? I guess I'm asking, what are the odds? Does it take longer now than it did when I was 25? I have two DD's, one is 10 and one is 7. My DH (will be fifteen years of marriage this year) and I are toying with the idea of getting pg. I just kind of want to know what we would be up against.

Any thoughts are appreciated!

[CapeCod04]

My RE told me that in your 20s, you have a 25% chance of getting pregnant each month. That drops to 15% in your 30s and about 7% in your 40s.

[rene']

Dang! :eek: That's interesting! I guess I didn't realize you only had a 25% chance of getting pg when you are in your 20's. I didn't realize it was that low. Oh well, we will see what happens. I may be back depending on what we decide.

Thanks CapeCod04 !

[tsmom]

Good luck to you rene' ---- It took us 7 cycles with dd and 8 with ds and I consider ourselves extremely blessed! Everyone is different.... I hope that it takes one for you guys!!

Caroline - Hope this cycle works out! Keep us posted!

Kimmie - How are you doing????

[Kimmiebride]

Good luck rene', it took us three years to get pregnant with this one... I hope you have great luck!

Hi tsmom! I am doing pretty good. Had an u/s yesterday, since I was freaking out about some spotting. every day, new worries... but the baby looked just fine, so I can chill for a little bit! Thanks for asking!

Bastille, I guess we're not getting together today... :( Hopefully when I get back, OK?
Take care everyone,
Kimmie

[rene']

Thanks everyone! I think we are just going to take the attitude that if it happens, it happens. We tried to get pg a 2 or 3 years ago and it ended up with more than one miscarriage and I got so stressed out. So, I think we will just see what happens at this point.

rene' (formerly mrsschu'sfriend on WC)
me: Rene' (35)
DH: Todd (36)
Married: 12/24/90
DD's: Alexa Rene', 12/18/94, Bailey Christian 3/30/98
A couple of miscarriages a few years ago that kind of
scared us from trying again for a while.

[mobox]

Well, ladies, I bit the bullet and am going to see my Gyn tomorrow. We have been trying for 6 months, and while I know that is not very long in the scheme of things, I wanted to go get my hormone levels checked. As I think I've posted before, my luteal phase is only about 10 days and from everything I've read that is very short and probably not long enough to get preg. Wish me luck!!! I'm a little scared, not about anything they'll find, but just uneasy in general. I do want a child but I've never felt that IVF was for me. So, we'll see where this leads.

[Bastille]

Oh Kimmie - I am sorry about Tuesday, I kept checking my email and didn't check CC private messages.:o I really do want to connect so let's try again next week ok? Great news about the baby on the u/s!

Melissa - Happy Belated Birthday and am looking forward to your fete tomorrow night :)

As for me I am having a really strange cycle - today is CD34 in a cycle where I had a cyst on my left ovary at the beginning of the cycle. BFN on EPT today. Anyone have any knowledge about cysts and how they impact cycles?

[pixielou]

rene' welcome to the club. you sound like you have a good attitude. it is so hard to not get totally wrapped up in the ttc process. at times i think it tends to take over my life.

mobox what did the gyno have to say?

i am also a member of the lpd club. 8-10 days. it does make it tougher to get pregnant, but not impossible. but since it has been 6 months, that is definitely long enough to try.

bastille can't help you with a cyst. fortuneately i have never had one.

kimmie how are you feeling? sounds like you went to nantucket just in time for tropical storm ophelia!

**************************
hmmmm. . .yesterday af was due. in the afternoon, spot appeared. so i went to a bbq last night and drank massive quantites of octoberfest (well, for me 2 is a massive quantity). and i woke up this morning to nothing (except a slight headache and cottonmouth). hmmmm. . .i also had a bit of spotting a week ago. hmmmm. . .debating whether is should go running this afternoon. today is my day for a long run.

~pixie

[LeighW]

Rene~Welcome. :) Those statistics always depress me. You never know where in the curve you might fall. It took me 8 cycles to conceive DD (now 2) when I was 38, and we've been TTC#2 for 13 cycles (1 m/c in June).

Bastille~Sorry, I don't know anything about cysts either, other than that they can mess with your cycle.

Pixielou~You can't post like that and then not come back! We need an update!

Mobox~How did you gyn appt. go?

Kimmie~Glad you are doing well. Hope you got some nice weather while in Nantucket!

Caroline~Glad to hear you are back in the game.

Nothing exciting going on here. My software is forecasting O for my anniversary at the end of the week. :) And after spending some time analyzing my charts from the past year, I started a new herbal regime of Vitex, EPO, and a tea made from red raspberry leaf, nettles, and red clover.
I did some variation of this regime when I got pregnant the first time, so fingers crossed.

Happy Monday!

[CapeCod04]

Just popping in to give a brief update. I'm cycling again - started stims Saturday night. DH is home from New Orleans - so I'm a happy camper. Life is good - I don't even mind being a pincushion! :)

[rene']

pixielou Thanks for the welcome! Believe me, I've been really wrapped up in TTC in the past on the WC. It does get really depressing when you feel like you "fail" each month. Then I had a m/c two years ago this past June. I was 6 weeks and like an idiot, had told my DD's. They were so excited. That was a really bad time for me. I just had no clue that I would have problems since I didn't have any problems conceiving and carrying my DD's. I had another m/c or two after that and just decided to take a break.

LeighW Thanks for the welcome! The statistics are really depressing! I hate getting old!

[pixielou]

leigh sounds like a fun way to spend an anniversary weekend!

capecod here's wishing you a successful cycle.


********************
i went in to my clinic for a blood draw today - to check hcg and progesterone levels. i didn't get to the lab until after 5, so won't have the numbers until tomorrow. i've been spotting more today. not feeling real confident about this. but whatever is meant to be will happen.

[LeighW]

Pixie~thinking good thoughts for you. :)

Capecod~wishing you success.

[rene']

Well, so much for not obsessing. I've had two dreams, one that said I was PG, one last night that said I wasn't. :( I've tried to just be relaxed about the whole thing and just "see what happens", but my subconscious is taking over!

Pixie ~ Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

[jesseybell]

I have not been on here a while. Am now Day 1 after a 40 day cycle (my first charting cycle - of which I gave up after no O signs at 28 days) So temping will start again tomorrow. I am hoping for a good complete chart this month so I can bring it to my OB/GYN appointment a month from today.

Babydust to all!

-Jessie
35 (and 1 month!) - OBC since 7/05

[margiepgh]

Hello everybody! I've been lurking alot, but haven't really felt like posting since I've had some non-TTC things going on in my life. A few weeks ago, we placed my 85-year old father in a personal care home. He was diagnosed with Altzheimers and Parkinsons disease about a year ago, and had gotten to the point where it was too much for my 74-year old mother to look after him. Especially, since he had been falling quite a bit. It's really quite sad, because I know he could be doing better if he wasn't depressed. It seems like as soon as he got the diagnosis, he became depressed which accelerated his decline. The personal care home he is in is very nice, but it has been a difficult transition for everybody.

On the TTC front, I think I'm at about 2 DPO. Since I've had a cold and have been running a slight fever, my temping is off, but I did get a positive OPK on Sunday. We managed to cover our bases, so I'm on to the 2WW.

I finally broke down and made an appointment with an RE, which is on 10/5. We are going on 10 months of TTC #2, so it's time to seek help. I'm a little apprehensive because I really don't want to know the depressing stats for a woman my age. Ignornance is bliss.

------------

pixielou - Don't keep us waiting any longer. ;) Do you have any lab results yet???

rene' - Welcome! I've added you to the roster.

LeighW - Your herbal regime sounds interesting! Where did you learn about that combination?

Bastille - It's nice to see you posting again. I don't believe I've had an ovarian cyst before. Is it painful?

Kimmie - I hope all is well with you.

capecod - I'm sending good thoughts you way for this cycle. :)

[rene']

:eek: OMG! I am shaking right now. I have not been feeling "right" for the last week or so. Slightly nauseous and a little crampy, plus quite a bit of discharge. I have also had pregnancy dreams twice. Well, I was at Target today and saw that you could buy a PG test for $3.64. I couldn't take it this morning because I went on a field trip with my DD. I just got home and took