Ladies in Waiting, Volume 3

[stephie61706]

stephie61706
Me: Stephanie 26
DH: J 27
Married: June 17 2006
TTC: Late spring 2008

I’ve been contemplating joining for a while now and I figure what the heck.
We’re waiting until late spring for a few reasons, we have some debt we want to be paid off, I would like to plan around my job for personal reasons and I have to wait until at least Feb to get the ok from my gyno to start trying. I had some issues last year and now I’m just waiting for everything to get ok’ed.

[DaninMike]

TTC worries: My main worries are having another rough pregnancy, and have 2 children vs. 1.

[Katie]

So, my question for Katie and anyone else who has been or is currently in this situation, how did you handle it? Did you discuss it frequently?

Hi e&d! Sorry I haven't been back in here sooner. I was going to respond to you, but then the boards went down. As far as how I'm handling it? Not well! ;) I think it's great that you guys are seeing a counselor (want to hear another coincidence? I'm a marriage & family therapist). I also like the agreement to revisit it soon. DH and I did talk about it (argue?) in Nov last year and I pretty much haven't brought it up again. He just shuts down when I do. I find myself feeling really resentful towards him, which isn't good for our relationship. For me the hardest part is not knowing whether it's going to happen or not. Part of me really believes it will, but then I have days where I think it won't (those are the tough days). I don't really have a good answer of how we are dealing with it because, basically, we aren't. :rolleyes: I'm actually in a place where I feel the need to revisit it again.

kendriln Thanks for responding about the spacing of you and your brother. Reading that makes me realize that it really is more about sibling's personalities rather than spacing.

QOTD If we do decide to have another child I worry that it will take me a long time to conceive. I already feel the pressure since DS will be 3 in March and I really don't want them SO far apart. I did get PG with DS on the first try, but who knows next time? A friend of mine got pregnant the first time with her son and then took 17 cycles to conceive her second. That freaks me out!

[Wrighty26]

Worries about TTC -- None right now, really. It took us 21 months conceive our son -- but I wasn't ovulating at all (on my own or with drugs). I feel like my DS was my little miracle baby. I didn't get AF back until about 14 months postpartum (thanks to breastfeeding and pumping!) --but most importantly, I did get her back and I have been having very regular (and ovulating) cycles. Ask this me question again in the summer though!

Katie/e&d - I'm sorry you are experiencing difficulties with your husbands :( I too wanted to chime in and say that my baby brother and I are 4 years apart and we have always gotten along great - but than my other brother - who is only 18 months younger than me. We didn't really experience a lot of the sibling rivalry (we both got plenty of that with our middle brother!) because we were always at different stages.

Me - Only about 5 more months till we TTC again! In some way I am really ready to get this show on the road - but at the same time it kinda freaks me out!

[e&d]

Thanks for the update, Katie, and the supportive thoughts from everybody!

Sorry you haven't been able to get much traction or discussion going. I'm actually feeling a lot better about things; our agreement to delay the discussion really took the pressure off, and we have actually talked about it in very small ways here and there, which is much more effective and productive than big marathon discussions.

The financial planner we are working with has been helping us get a handle on the current situation, and it's been really helpful for both of us to see what's going on in that dept. We're changing some things about our current $ allocation which should help and make us both feel better.

How ironic that you are a marriage counselor! That must give you an interesting perspective...let us know how it goes if and when the discussion comes around again.

[SpanishRose]

Spanishrose
Me: Lena (28)
DH: S (30)
Married: 11/04/2006
TTC: Late 2008

Been lurking for awhile. Decided it's time to join the group. :)

[DaninMike]

Welcome Spanishrose!!


Things are about the same here. I'm getting pretty anxious for June to role around. I'm starting a new diet and excercise program to try and get 20 lbs. off before June gets here so I don't start off the next pregnancy with leftover pregnancy weight from DS. I need to lose about 10 to get back ot my pre pregnancy weight.

[Belm]

I meant to come in here a while ago. Can you please add me to the graduate list. We are due at the end of June.

[Katie]

Update for me: We are going to TTC this June! :) DH surprised me this weekend by saying he wanted to start trying then. I'm so excited! Only 3.5 months left, let's see if I can stay sane during this wait....;)

[e&d]

Katie,

Wow, that is fantastic news! Congratulations!! :D

Did you guys talk about it, or did he come to it of his own accord? I'm curious to know how it went down.

We are getting closer to a decision too. Our work with the financial planner has been going well and I think things are lining up well...but I don't want to jinx anything by getting too excited. ;)

[Katie]

e&d Hi! We didn't talk about it, actually. He has been studying for this big test/certification for months and passed it on Saturday. He told me that night at dinner that his present to himself for passing it was surprising me about TTC #2 in June! We both agree we want a spring/summer baby, so that's why the wait. It was a complete surprise to me - a very happy one at that!

Things sound hopeful on your end too! I'm definitely keeping my fingers crossed for you guys! Do you have any idea when you might TTC if all continues to go well?

[BlackMagicRose]

Is there anyone here not planning to TTC until 2009-2010? I thought this would be our year, but it won't be. We have a long hard road of getting my husband immigrated to the US before we can even think about it again. Finding us jobs, moving into a permanent home, dealing with tons of paperwork....this is one of the few times of my life that I want it to go a little faster!!!

QOTD How do you make yourself rational when you just want to throw the pill away and have a baby!? I need some advice :(

[AmandaLeigh]

Christy - I think the biggest thing for me is just being busy. This summer, when I wasn't working, I thought about babies constantly. Now that I am working about 45 hours a week and spending another 8-10 hours in the car, I just don't have the time. Being busy really does keep your mind off of it.

[e&d]

Katie, that is so awesome! I think we should get our husbands together for dinner or something. ;)

At this point I'm not picky on when we ttc. I'm thinking that over the next few months as things keep falling into place and taking place, he will start to get in the mindset. He's been talking more and more about how he really wants to have another child, but is just worried about the $. We are nailing down our finances w/the financial planner, and when that is set to his satisfaction, we should be set -- cross your fingers.

Christy, I agree with Amanda about keeping yourself busy. Another thing that helps: set other goals for yourself during that time. Before we ttc'ed our son, I got motivated to get a good exercise routine going, because I wanted to be in good shape for pregnancy and delivery.

Here are some ideas of things that are great to sort out and improve while you wait!

- personal health (weight/exercise, take care of any outstanding things like procedures you need to have done, etc.)
- finances -- be sure you are financially on track. If you plan to SAH, you can start to sock away a good chunk of your paycheck so you can 1) see what it's like to live on just one income and 2) find out how financially feasible it would be to do that
- personal goals -- now is the time to do things like finish any classes you've needed/wanted to take, learn something new, pick up a new hobby, whatever. For me it took about a year and a half post-baby to have time to myself again, and even now, it's waaaay more limited than it was before.
- plan for the future -- now is a good time to set up life insurance policies, education accounts, and things like that. You might also investigate setting up a will, although it would be smarter to wait until the baby is here to actually do it if you don't have one yet.
- get your home ready -- this especially applies if you are househunting! It's fun once you start to see good possibilities that you could actually buy, and envision the nursery, and all that fun stuff.

Those are some ideas off the top of my head. I am a planner so keeping myself busy with that kind of stuff was awesome for me, and it made me feel good about laying the foundation I needed before the baby arrived.

[ambula704]

I am a lady in waiting, but I cant remember if I have posted here or not! I am currently charting to avoid, this is my first cycle and its getting SO hard to not just say...well, lets see what happens! It doesnt help that my husband REALLY wants to TTC now, whereas I need to wait until this fall or next year due to my job. I am a teacher and want to take a semester off...but to do that I need to have the baby after fall 2009.

Every day I think about why we should wait and how awesome it will be when the time is right. We are young and have only been married 1.5 years, so we really are in no hurry. We want to save some more money and just have more time together as a young married couple.

But...DH and I both want 2-3 kids and we want to be young when we have them. We adore kids and talk about all the kids we know as if they were our own(we teach the 2 year old class at church-I thought it would be good birth control but it had the reverse effect!) and we have great, secure jobs and a great house. Sometimes I wonder, why wait!? Its a constant battle inside my head!

Anyone else like this? Im really just posting to get it all out there...I know you girls feel the same about wanting to TTC and wanting to wait.

[Ladies_In_Waiting]

Girls,
My DH and I are moving over the the TTC world! In light of this a new thread mistress is required, do any of you girls feel up to the challenge?

[Dizzy]

Anyone out there?

Just dusting this old thread off ; ) If enough people out there would like a Ladies in Waiting thread, I'd be happy to TM. I could really use a sounding board from other ladies! Does it matter that I'm still on the fence? :)

[e&d]

I'm here! Sounds great. :)

[Jenyfer9]

I'm here. I'm not sure I "officially" joined this thread or not. DH and I have been on the fence for a year. He would love to have another kid whenever, but I'm a bit more picky. I currently SAH with my 2 boys, who are now 4.5y and 3y. We held off initially because #2 was (is) such a handful, then because my brother was getting married and I refused to be a preggo bridesmaid, then, I volunteered to be an adult leader for our church high school choir (and didn't want to be preggo on the trip), and now, I want to go next year... so I can't very well have a baby until after that trip (March 2009), and I can't be too preggo to go on that trip (it's a week long bus trip), so I'm thinking fall of this year at the earliest to TTC.

We've never had a tough time getting preggo before, but this is the first time that I've tried to get preggo since before I was 30 (I'm 33 now) so I know that things are a bit different.

Anyhoo, I'm still here as well.

[Katie]

Well, ladies, I wasn't in this thread very long, but June is finally here! I took my last BCP on Saturday and I am so excited to TTC#2. After being ready for 1.5 years (and waiting for DH to be ready) it's great to be moving on.

e&d Any more progress with you guys? Hopefully I'll see you on the other side soon! :)

Good luck to everyone else waiting!

[polkadot]

polkadot
Me: Lauren, 29
DH: Brian, 29
Engaged: 12/24/02
Married: 11/20/04
DC #1: Eli Joseph 7/18/07
TTC #2: Spring 2009

Hi ladies. I hope this thread is moving along I need some friends to keep my mind off of TTC at this very moment. Our son Eli will be one on July 18 and I am already wanting another. We went through a long infertility struggle to have him and I think that in my mind I just want to start that proccess now so that it doesnt take as long for the next one. BUT i know that he deserves to be a baby and needs at least this next 1/2 year to be a mommas boy.

I hope to talk to all of you soon....

[Dizzy]

How sheepish do i feel coming in here and reviving a thread and then not returning?? I'm so sorry! I have to run now, but I'll be back. Does anyone who has done it before want to take over TM duties? I'd be happy to CO-TM, but I've never TM'd a thread and have no idea how to start a new one.

[polkadot]

I can start a new thread if ya like and can TM if ya like...I did it in the charting thread it may keep my mind of babies for a little while anyway...does this thread move quickly? It doesnt seem like it?

[e&d]

I'm here and would love to chat! :) Maybe a fresh start and new thread would revive things. This used to be a super active group.

[polkadot]

would you like me to start a new thread? who is the current TM? Anyone know? Or should we just keep on chating here?

[Dizzy]

I think a new thread would be great! If you go back to the front, this group had a LOT of members once upon a time; I bet more people would come out of the woodwork and join/re-join with a shiny new thread :)

I'm trying to go back and figure out who the threadmistress was...

[polkadot]

ok...well if you can find out who it was or is...I wouldnt mind starting the new thread but dont want to step on anyones toes...hopefully this will keep my baby swooning at bay for the next year...we cant start TTC until this time next year...:cool:

[RobynScott]

polkadot - how funny to see you in here! I was just thinking about this thread last night! (not that I am even ready to join this yet) - Spring 2010 sounds like a nice arrival time for #2 :)

[Dizzy]

Girls,
My DH and I are moving over the the TTC world! In light of this a new thread mistress is required, do any of you girls feel up to the challenge?

Whoever it was they seem to have moved on, so I don't think any toes will get stepped on, so that's good! Is it possible to PM the Ladies in Waiting username? Or are those special names that only Mods can get to? I'm not sure how the TM thing works...

[e&d]

Sorry, I have no light to shed on who the threadmistress was...maybe it's listed at the beginning of the thread? I'll look around.

When you do start a new one, can you post here? I subscribe to this thread and that way I won't miss it. :) We should also probably post in the family planning forum(s) about the new thread -- I'd imagine we'd rope in a few that way.

[polkadot]

i did PM the ladies in waiting TM and I am just waiting for a reply, if she doesnt reply by the end of the weekend I guess i'll just start a new one and hope I dont make anyone mad :o

[manda_kate]

Yep, I'd like to join a new thread, too. :)

[polkadot]

well i have contacted a mod and she is trying to contact the current TM and if she doesnt contact her in the next few days she will turn the info over to me and then I will start the new thread. How does eveyone feel about having two TM's me and someone else that way if the thread does pick up and start really moving there are two people to update? Also, i have lots of time now, but once school starts ( i am a teacher) I will have less time. So sharing the duties sounds like a good idea to me...

anyone up for it???:cool:

[Dizzy]

I've never done it before, but I'd be game! Just lemme know what you need me to do :)

[polkadot]

really not that hard...just some updating of new members and graduating of new members not too much since this thread isnt changing monthly with people having babies and such...

it wont be hard at all..so yay..its me and you :D i will wait for the mod to PM and then we will set it all up

thanks for volunteering

[Dizzy]

really not that hard...just some updating of new members and graduating of new members not too much since this thread isnt changing monthly with people having babies and such...

it wont be hard at all..so yay..its me and you :D i will wait for the mod to PM and then we will set it all up

thanks for volunteering

Sounds easy enough! I'll be standing by :)

[e&d]

Awesome! Thanks so much guys. I'm excited. :)

[polkadot]

New Thread!!!

Follow....http://www.constantchatter.com/forum/showthread.php?t=42121

:p