Worst part of parenting?

[solongtogo]

Just for fun, I thought I'd ask what you think is the worst part of being a parent?

For me: clipping a baby's fingernails. No matter how short they are, she always manages to scratch the crap out of her face.

[Kanga]

Definitely the lack of sleep and my dd refusing sleep sometimes now even though I know she's tired. I far under-estimated my ability to cope (or lack there of)

[lml41981]

Being bitten on the nipple.

[twinnyme]

For me now, the whining - I lose my patience quickly.

A few months ago I would have completely agreed with Chad and Liz, though - the sleeping was the worst part and my lack of coping. Much better now, finally.

[Natrat80]

lynds I totally agree, although I'd add that the WORST thing is being bit on a nipple that already has a scab on it!

[malala]

The fact that my DD decided she doesn't wanna nurse anymore. We're down to 1 nursing session in the middle of the night, and a couple "snack" sessions here and there.
I tried everything under the sun to make her go back to nursing normally (LC, LLL meetings, etc). But it's not happening.
I never thought I'd feel so strongly about this, but I do. I still offer her the breast every single time she's hungry, even though she usually refuses it.
I'm sorry if this is too "serious" an answer, but I have a REALLY hard time dealing with this.

[solongtogo]

I'm sorry if this is too "serious" an answer, but I have a REALLY hard time dealing with this.


I had a very difficult time when I decided to stop nursing, not for the same reasons you've said, but I still very much beat myself up over it, so I can relate.

[brooke]

I had a very difficult time when I decided to stop nursing, not for the same reasons you've said, but I still very much beat myself up over it, so I can relate.


You're not alone...broke my heart when I had stop. Still nurse DS twice a day, but milk supply is so low I'm now nothing more than a mommy pacifier. More for my benefit than his...can't quite let go yet.

[karlatta]

My DS gets horrible hiccups. Like, so loud they keep me awake at night. I can deal with the fussing and the crying, but it's the hiccups that get to me. I don't know why.

[catmom]

The lack of sleep, and also the lack of a break on the days when DD won't nap (thankfully not as often now as when she was younger... when she was 6-7 months old, it was not uncommon for her to stay awake for 10 hours at a stretch!

[Renrel]

malala - If it helps any my son decided he was not interested any more around 9-10 mths I think. All I could get him to do was 5 minutes first thing in the morning before he was fully awake. On his birthday he got sick with a stomach bug, nothing really bad, just some runs and he threw up once, but after that he was totally into nursing again, to the point that he is over 2.5 yrs old and loves to nurse so much we are wondering how and when we will ever wean. I am hoping preschool and being around older kids will encourage it. So there is hope.

[kat]

Sleep deprivation....mine and the kids'. They were such great sleepers until this week, and having two insomniac babies is bad enough, but being sleep deprived myself on top of it....ugh.

If you'd ask me this question any OTHER week, I'd say the fact that I couldn't BF (well, I could, but was only producing -- at best -- about 9-10% of their daily food intake, despite working with three different LCs and trying everything known to increase supply...so I finally quit around 8 weeks when I was down to producing about 1% of their daily food intake).

But right now, it's their insomnia (mainly DS' insomnia, but it then spreads quickly to DD because he goes straight to screaming, LOUD). Even using the 5 s method is only good about 50% of the time. Ugh.

[BridalLace]

no break ever. EVER.

worrying if she's ok when i'm at work.

forgetting to think about her when i get really engrossed in work, then realizing i haven't thought about my daughter once for several hours in a day.

being too tired to play with her when i come home from work.

[kmmommy]

Worrying about my sick baby. I hate when he has a fever or is throwing up. Scares the crap out of me even though he's almost 2 years old now.

[BTB]

Knowing life will hurt my daughter in ways I can't possibly protect her from.

[sandt8704]

Knowing life will hurt my daughter in ways I can't possibly protect her from.


I totally agree. The lack of sleep thing is pretty tough, too!

[LexyLou]

The self inflicted guilt.

[Koala_Gurl]

What BTB said!

That and just the fear of anything bad happening. I can NOT even try to watch a show/movie or read something about a baby dying. It just makes me lose it big time. The other day, I started crying hysterically at the ending of Titanic when they showed a dead baby floating. I couldn't even finish the movie, though I never noticed it before. (Probably doesn't help that I am PG as well!)

[AlisonCO]

Finding balance and the mommy guilt!

[elladee]

Serious answer: The feeling of despair and misery in the begining where I would have given just about anything to turn back time to my pre-baby life and then hating myself for feeling that way.

Otherwise, I agree with you, solongtogo, I hate the fingernails part.

[cr8zyforaf]

Serious answer: The feeling of despair and misery in the begining where I would have given just about anything to turn back time to my pre-baby life and then hating myself for feeling that way.

Totally agree - I just had a cr*ppy vacation due to the fact that DD didn't like being away from home and is teething and longed for my prechild life back most of the week that was spent holding a screaming child that refused to sleep.

[ajb524]

Guilt. I have never felt so much guilt in my life. I feel guilty for not being able to stay home with DS. I feel guilty when I get home and have to put him in the swing/bouncer while I cook dinner. I feel guilty for not exclusively breastfeeding him. I feel guilty when I want to go out alone and leave him with DH or the grandparents (rarely ever do though).

The sleep thing was the hardest part at first, but it's getting much better now. I don't think i could have taken much more.

[Kiley]

The guilt - especially when he got sick from daycare and ended up in the hospital for three days with RSV. :(

[ginadc]

Guilt, balance, all that. Sometimes I feel like I'm struggling so hard to fulfill all my roles--wife, mom, writer who brings in fully half our income--and doing all of them "okay" but none of them really well. (Oh, and did I mention that I occasionally might like to do something for myself, like work out once in awhile?)

Because I'm a freelance writer, and if I don't work we don't have half our income, I've been working ever since we brought A. home, never really getting a "maternity leave" to just focus on baby and baby alone. I feel like this time of her life is just rushing away from me, and yet I don't know how to juggle things better.

[kiki61872]

the fact that i dont have a choice when it comes to working - i HAVE to work in order to provide necessary items for DD - food, home, clothes.
i wish i could work part time so i could spend more time with her.

[lovin'it]

Serious answer: The feeling of despair and misery in the begining where I would have given just about anything to turn back time to my pre-baby life and then hating myself for feeling that way.

Wow....I feel like you so many, many times during the day, Elladee. I hate the feeling because I love my girls so much and yet...I have no idea how to supress it!

[Dally]

In the beginning: Sleep deprivation. Man, that is hard to deal with.

Now: Feeling sad/guilty because I want to spend more time with her. Monday mornings, when I have to go back to work, are the worst (for me; DD does fine). Also, wishing I had a little time for myself so I wouldn't feel so stressed and tired, but with work and DD, there is no more time in the day.

Always: Worrying that something bad might happen to her. Becoming a mother is like pulling your heart out of your body and throwing it out into the world, where anything can happen to it. It's such a vulnerable feeling.

[psusna]

Dally: you summed it up very well -- beautiful...

[jasonsgal]

Serious answer: The feeling of despair and misery in the begining where I would have given just about anything to turn back time to my pre-baby life and then hating myself for feeling that way.


I completely agree. I cringe just thinking about how I felt in those first few weeks. I feel so guilty.

AND

the lack of sleep in the beginning...

[Dasha]

Sleep deprivation. Getting up 4 times at night and then having to function normally the next day and take care of older children.

[wildcat]

Guilt. Feeling guilty that I *choose* to work. We could afford to live on DH's salary alone but it would be a huge lifestyle change and we wouldn't be able to provide for DD, future kids, and our retirement like we can with my salary. Thefore, I choose to leave her 10 hours a day in the care of someone I barely know. It makes me sick to my stomach every Sunday night and Monday morning.

[cartersmommy]

always worrying about doing what's best for them.... you know, when you want to do something and they need a nap, and you have to decide what is RIGHT... i hate that having to decide thing... its like there is an angel and devil on my shoulders.... i always feel so guilty if i decide to stay out during normal nap time, or we get home from a friends house an hour past bedtime.... kills me!

[postkalidurga]

The fact that I am now pretty permanently tied to my in laws. Just had a horrible weekend with them staying here including guilt, tears, sulky black clouds, accusations and petulance - all of it behind my back but most directed at me. Sigh.

Otherwise (when they are not in town), probably the guilt. For not spending enough attention on him, for holding him too close, for doing things for me without him, for getting frustrated with him because I'm not getting enough time to myself, etc.

[Renrel]

At the moment I guess Having to be the meany and saying no. Not being able to just give him what he wants like I could when he was a baby or let him get away with anything. Not that he is a terror or I am much of a disciplinarian, but I do hate to see him unhappy or frustrated.

In the long run, knowing that it is not my job to protect him from life and make him happy but to prepare him for it and teach him to find joy and love for himself in the world. The first job would be so much easier. The second means that I have to let him take risks, get hurt and learn hard lessons now so that when he is older and not under my roof life will not come as a huge suprise he is not prepared for. And I have to pray that some other mom is teacher her daughter similiar lessons so she will be ready to be my son's life mate when he leaves me behind as his number one lady. I have to always keep in front of me the knowledge that I am not raising a boy. I am raising a man, who happens at the moment to be a little boy.

But the guilt and lack of sleep and scary world are all way up there.

[SaphirimalMei]

Worst parts of my parenting career so far:

#1) Primary Lactation Failure. :mad:

#2) DS's horrible, horrible screaming...when will it end????????

[BooeyJ2]

Guilt. Feeling guilty that I *choose* to work. We could afford to live on DH's salary alone but it would be a huge lifestyle change and we wouldn't be able to provide for DD, future kids, and our retirement like we can with my salary. Thefore, I choose to leave her 10 hours a day in the care of someone I barely know. It makes me sick to my stomach every Sunday night and Monday morning.

I used to feel the similar, although DD was only in daycare twice a week and was with my sister or FIL the other 3 days. My guilt was not being with her period :( It didn't matter if she was in daycare or with family, the fact that "I" wasn't with her is what killed me. I was tired of only seeing her before work (all while rushing around to get myself and her ready) and then after work (to basically feed her, play with her for a tiny bit, bathe her, read a book and then put her to bed). It just wasn't enough for me and it ate away at me every night. I felt like I was missing SO much of her life....and really, I was. I work part time now and it's the best thing I could have done for us. I have Tuesdays and Thursdays off (as well as Sat and Sun of course) so there are 4 out of 7 days where i'm with her all day/night. However it is kind of nice to work and "get a break" (LOL, well not "really", but you know ;)).

Is it possible for you to work PT? I think it's the best of both worlds and it REALLY helps with the guilt :)

[cpaccione]

Disciplining them. Knowing that I am doing what's ultimately best for them but hearing them cry just because I won't give them a cookie before dinner breaks my heart. I wish I could spoil them rotten.

Right now I'm also dealing with letting them go a little. DS is almost two and DD is 7 months. They are both gaining more independance and neither one will cuddle anymore. It makes me regret the times that I didn't cuddle with them because I was too tired, busy, etc...

[cpaccione]

#2) DS's horrible, horrible screaming...when will it end????????

Dear Lord!!! I know what you mean!! Is there hope?? Please say there is!

[brooke]

another one...I hope this will subside but, at the moment...guilt.

Heading back to work tomorrow and break down every time I think about it. Not sure how I'll get through the first day. Unfortunately have no other options as we need my salary and benefits.

DS is sleeping and want to go wake him up and hold him.

[Elmophant]

1) Feeling guilty that I wanted to go back to work.

2) Brushing her naturally curly hair every morning with her screaming "NO MOMMY!"

3) Worrying that I'll be the kind of parent that my father was.

4) Trying to keep the floors clean so my 16-month old doesn't eat something off of the floor that might inflict harm on her. :rolleyes: (Why do they put everything in their mouths?)

5) Skinned knees, bug bites, hospital stays, fevers, vomitting, tears, rashes, immunizations, nightmares, runny noses, pink eye, dehydration, bloody lips and noses, teething, stubbed toes, owies, ouchies, boo-boos, and ut-ohs