Were we invited to the reception?

[Boopy]

DH and I received a wedding invitation yesterday and I can't figure out if we're invited to just the wedding or the wedding and reception. No where on the invitation or response card does it say anything about a reception. The couple is Jewish and the wedding is being held at a temple. This is the first Jewish wedding I've been invited to so I was wondering if it's customary to not put the reception information on the invitation maybe? Is it common to have the reception at the temple immediately following and everyone just knows that? The bride is my husband's coworker and he's talked with her about reception stuff, i.e. band, cake, etc. so I know there is a reception. I would hate to ask the bride about the reception and her have to tell us we weren't invited. :o

[nic]

When my cousin got married several years ago (he's jewish, I'm not) the ceremony and reception both took place at the temple. I'm not sure if that's customary but it might be the case with this wedding as well.

[KrissyCat7]

Do you know anyone else who is invited that you might be able to ask?

We are having our ceremony and reception at the same place so we didnt put anything about the reception on the invitation. Maybe that is the same with this wedding?

[maplekitty]

hhhhmmmm, this is a hard one. Usually an invite would say "reception to follow" if it was held in the same location. I agree that you should find someone else invited and see what their invite says? I dunno, short of calling and asking, but I can't understand that would be embarassing for both parties if she has to say "no you're not".

[Boopy]

Thanks ladies! I will see if DH knows anyone else who was also invited and have him ask them, if he feels comfortable, what their invite said and what their impression was. Like maplekitty, I expected to at least see a "Reception Immediately Following" note or something. I guess we can always plan for the worst case senario and have our own dinner plans just incase!

[Asha]

well, would you go if you weren't invited to the reception? if so, then i would just go and leave your plans open to fit either situation. usually jewish receptions are held at the same place as the ceremony, so it might just be an oversight that "reception to follow" wasn't included on the invite.

[KarenS]

usually jewish receptions are held at the same place as the ceremony,My experience has been the opposite of this. I've photographed a lot of Jewish weddings and all of my clients have gotten married at the synagogue and then had a reception at a different location.

I agree, see if you can find someone else who was invited and ask them. How frustrating for you!

karen

[Leia]

I have been attended many Jewish weddings here in NY. Although there are clearly exceptions, the rule of thumb in this area is that there will be a cocktail hour, and then a reception immediately after, all in the same place (usually a temple). In my region, I would feel pretty confident you are invited to the reception (in the same location) as well. Have you checked to see if they have a wedding website that might offer more details?

[BTB]

I've been to a good number of Jewish weddings, and none of them had the reception at the temple. If nothing was mentioned on the invitation about a reception, I would assume there either won't be one that day, or there will be but we weren't invited. If they forgot to mention "reception to follow" and your circumstances allow you to stay, great! I just wouldn't plan on there being one, and I wouldn't call anyone to ask whether there's a reception.

[Asha]

have been attended many Jewish weddings here in NY. Although there are clearly exceptions, the rule of thumb in this area is that there will be a cocktail hour, and then a reception immediately after, all in the same place (usually a temple).

i guess, its a regional thing bc as i said before that has been what i have experienced. i live in the ny area too.

[prudies]

I really don't think you can look for a location rule (one or two) about Jewish weddings. To the extent that some of you have experienced it one way or the other, I think it's just a coincidence, or maybe a regional (not cultural) norm.

Having said that, I was invited to a wedding in which the invitation read like the OP's. There was also an enclosure card with a hotel recommendation, so I thought, well, we must be invited to the reception! It seems weird to me to not say "reception immediately to follow," but I guess it happens. And we were, in fact, invited to the reception.

One thing you can almost always count on with a Jewish wedding, however, is that a meal will be served! I can't imagine that you'd be invited to the wedding ceremony, and not the reception, especially if your DH has been privy to the details. The only way I could imagine it would be if the reception were some very small family-only affair. And that would be weird for a Jewish wedding.