Mother-in-law Birthday dilemma!

[Sashi]

So once again it is my 'soon-to-be' mother-in-law's birthday (next Wednesday) and I am at a loss of what to get her. My fiance is no help either.......you'd think he would know but quite frankly, if it wasn't for me this poor woman wouldn't get anything! His family, including his mom doesn't really believe in gift giving on a 'holiday' because gifts should be given on any given day instead. Though she'd never admit it, SHE REALLY DOES LOVE WHEN WE GET HER GIFTS, her face lights up. :D

Her likes: cooking, perfume, thrift stores (she loves flea markets and such), and cooking.

Her dislikes: flowers because they die and require maintenance, ???

We get her cooking supplies and/or perfume for every other holiday and since she doesn't shop anywhere but consignment shops for clothes and such (her choice) a gift certificate to somewhere is pointless. I want to do something different for her this year because she's done so much for us. Something different than perfume or cooking supplies because she has enough!

Any ideas or thoughts would be appreciated......

Thanks for reading the post and attempting to help, I feel lost! :cool:

[berry]

Spa gc

GC to movie theater or dvds or gc to blockbuster/netflix rentals

Spices? I got my FIL some spices from Penzeys. http://www.penzeys.com/

GC for books or music, or pick out something she might like

Scrapbook with photos or places for family photos

Tickets to a concert, music event

Tickets to a play she might like

GC to a nice restaurant for dinner

Hope these help. I know how hard it is to buy for your in-laws.

[tenofcups]

Does she like cheese? They have a cheese of the month club that could be a whole different kind of gift. (It's on my mind because friends just got me a wine of the month club and the same company does cheese :) ).

[ssstephanie]

Well my soon-to-be FMIL doesn't like flowers, perfume, makeup, purses, cutesy stuff, spa GCs...she's so practical it's not even funny. I recently found out she loves hazlenut coffee so for Christmas and her b-day in FEb, she got a pound of that along with a few other things I knew she'd use. Sucks because I wish I could splurge on her but it's not her thing and I have to learn to respect that.

She loves to read so I always pick up the latest John Grisham book or something else I think she might like. Tickets to see Chicago(the broadway production) was another B-day gift along with dinner and she ABSOLUTELY LOVED THAT. And let me tell you, it is very hard to get a genuine smile out of this woman! So now I know for the future...anything that includes spending time together in an outing is the way to go. Kinda like a date night, you know? An intimate dinner and then a cool play or musical. She was beaming for days.

[Chimichanga]

If she likes consignment shopping, why not take her out on a Saturday and let her splurge. Spend some time with her and take her out to lunch. If that's what she enjoys, I'm sure she'd probably like some company.

My mom is pretty practical too - my sister and I never know what to get her. We usually find something for her for around the house. One year we got her a nice jewelry armoire (she mentioned she'd like one). Another year we got her a weekend getaway at a nice little resort with my dad.

[Sashi]

Thank you so much to everyone who responded. I really like the "Spices" idea and i'm going to look into that. She would love to spend a day together but then she always makes comments that it's a waste or we never end up going. She would love a show but of course, my fiance is another story. Getting him to agree on something that she would like/not like is like pulling teeth! Thanks and I would appreciate any more suggestions!

[ssstephanie]

Thank you so much to everyone who responded. I really like the "Spices" idea and i'm going to look into that. She would love to spend a day together but then she always makes comments that it's a waste or we never end up going. She would love a show but of course, my fiance is another story. Getting him to agree on something that she would like/not like is like pulling teeth! Thanks and I would appreciate any more suggestions!


Although she is your fiance's mom...guys usually have no clue!!! Rack your brain for awhile, when you come up with something you like, run it by him and just say "I think she'd really like this." Chances are, he'll totally go along with it if you're sure. I spend a lot of time worrying something may not be perfect for FMIL, and I tell SO "I reallllllly want to do this for her because I think she'd enjoy it and it would make her feel special." He always tells me to go for it. Trust me, guys really have no idea!

[Sashi]

I'm in 100% agreement with that! Although I've never complained about my gifts from him. She's just really difficult to buy for, she's very practical. We paid for part of a heater for her house, mulch for her yard, etc. in the past and we've got her all these kitchen supplies that she hardly uses now! She mentioned the other day she'd like to get some hydrangea bushes so I think we might do that for her, obviously on a nice weekend and tell her it was for her birthday.

[ssstephanie]

I'm in 100% agreement with that! Although I've never complained about my gifts from him. She's just really difficult to buy for, she's very practical. We paid for part of a heater for her house, mulch for her yard, etc. in the past and we've got her all these kitchen supplies that she hardly uses now! She mentioned the other day she'd like to get some hydrangea bushes so I think we might do that for her, obviously on a nice weekend and tell her it was for her birthday.


You pretty much just described my situation to a tee! When it comes to gifts, I am so not a practical person. I tend to be on the extravagant side both in giving and receiving so it's been a battle for me to understand someone who is the complete opposite. I've given FMIL bouquets before and never gotten much of a reaction. But when we brought home azealas and hydrangeas for her in the pot ready to be planted she was beyond thrilled. I was so confused!!!!!:D

[Renrel]

Maybe give up your fiance for a part of a day so that she can have a "date" with her son. Maybe something like an afternoon tea if she would like that. Time alone with her child is probable not something she gets alot of these days. Make a firm date so that it really happens. Of course, DF has to agree to this or it is a no go.

[Sashi]

Renrel - LOL! I have to laugh at your genius suggestion because in my 5 years with FH he has spent every one of those days on the phone with her for over 30 minutes every day, on vacations too! And we live only 15 minutes away and spend much of our weekend with her (extenuating circumstances aside) which I am incredibly willing to do. I love her a lot and usually am the one to coax him into going there.

So I am ashamed to admit the actual answer of what we ended up getting her. 2 CARDS, $100 IN EACH CARD. And she gave it back to us! Yes, she gave it back to us! She liked it a lot and promised to use it when she could but if she kept ahold of it, she would spend it on food and such so we are 'holding' it for her when she goes away or wants it. Gotta love how you give someone something and they hand it back to you!

Thanks girls........the thread was helpful and somewhat comical actually! Everyone's ideas were great and hopefully in the future I'll use some of them, especially the spices and flower bushes!

[Renrel]

Woops! Yeah, in your case that would not be much of a gift I guess. I hope my son takes as much pleasure in my company when he grows up and has a lady of his own. And that she is as understanding as you are.

[Sashi]

I think your suggestion was great though Renrel! In any other situation, that would be an ideal gift for someone who really wants nothing you could give them!