Puppy for an 80ish immobile woman? Need to vent

[jbenny75]

DH's grandmother recently lost her dog (he passed away). He was elderly and perfect for her. Not active at all and was already housetrained when she adopted him. Grandma had polio as a child and has always had trouble getting around, she wears a brace on one leg. As she's gotten older, it's gotten worse for her and she rarely does anything on her crutches anymore. She uses her Jazzy chair or a wheelchair.

So, DH's sister and cousin got the bright idea of talking her into getting a puppy. I have never heard such a stupid idea in my life. How is an 80-something year old woman who can barely walk going to housetrain and take care of a puppy? They are totally not thinking this through and it pisses me off. The puppy (a dachsund-sp?) is going to end up with no training and likely homeless when she can't handle it. Why are people so dumb?

[jnettie]

Are you serious! Did they already get this puppy? Can this be stopped?

While not a bad idea entirely, I think I'd rather get Grandma an adult, already trained dog.

People are stupid sometimes. :rolleyes:

[jesvet]

Ugh.

[Rose]

That is a very bad idea. Dogs are not toys.

[GeekGirl]

Yeah...we went through a similar situation with my grandmother. I once took in a pregnant stray cat, and while in the process of finding homes for momma and babies, my grandmother decided she wanted one. I thought it was a great idea - my grandmother lives by herself and is often lonely, a cat would be a good companion. I thought the adult (even tempered, littertrained) momma would be perfect for her. But she insisted that she was in love with one of the kittens, and just had to have him. You see where this is going. That kitten didn't last a month...and ended up coming home with me when she decided she couldn't handle him, which I knew would happen. Ugh.

Is there any way to get your grandmother a more appropriate dog? It sounds like another older dog would be perfect - but a puppy would just be a nightmare.

[ejs]

I've seen this. My uncle gave my grandmother a puppy. She kept it for a weekend and then gave it back to him.

When we took our dog to obedience school, another student was an 80-year-old woman with a Golden Retriever puppy her son had given her. The dog was much too strong for her. She loved the dog, but she didn't ask for this situation. Fortunately, our instructor was able to rehome the dog for her.

Why are people such idiots?

[jbenny75]

Unfortunately, this is DH's grandmother, not mine. He spoke to her and she thinks she can handle it:rolleyes: . He tried to ask her in a nice way if she knew what she was getting into and told her about all the work it took us to housetrain our two dogs + all of the fosters that we've had. Not to mention exercise and regular training. They seem to think it's okay and won't be hard because it's a small dog. :rolleyes: Ugh.

[Tonysweetie]

Yikes! Please try to talk her out of it. What about if she got a adult cat. Cats are really easy to care for. They basicly take care of themselves.

[keska]

Dogs can be a real danger to elderly people who are unsteady on their feet. My aunt finally took my grandmother's dog after grandma tripped over the dog. Maybe that's another point to make if your DH's grandmother spends any time on her feet.

[MLA]

This is a bad, bad idea. Maybe your DH can talk to his sister and cousin about it since grandma's not listening. Maybe they'll realize once he talks to them that a puppy is not appropriate for this woman and they can suggest an adult dog as well . . .

[Amuse Bouche]

Well, it's not the best idea, but if they're going to do it, why get a dachshund? There are little fluffy dogs (Pomeranians, malteses, bichons) who can be trained to go to the bathroom in a litter box or wee wee pads relatively easily, and don't require as much exercise.

[katiadarling]

bichons are actually notoriously hard (read impossible) to house train. My PIL have one and he's ten and still isn't good about pottying outside. From what I hear, this is pretty much the norm!

[jbenny75]

I'll see if I can get DH to talk to his sister. I don't know how far he'll get with her since it was her idea. I'm not sure of the details of why they're getting a dachsund...I kind of got the idea that they know someone having a litter or something, since DH's sister is also getting one. Talking her into a diff. breed: if I was going to have her get anything, it would be an older dog like the one she had. He was awake enough to keep her company, but wasn't active and went long hours without having to go out, which was great for her. She could basically take him outside when she was already in her Jazzy chair for other things.

[Michelle]

I definitely agree that you should try and talk them into getting her an older dog who is mellow and already trained. Puppies of any breed can be difficult to housetrain. We didn't have any problem training our puppy (who happens to be a Bichon, I'd never heard that they were difficult to housetrain and we have a family full of them) but it takes a lot of persistance to housetrain any dog. :)

Good luck! Let us know what happens!

[wendalah]

I always recommend them, because I own them and I'm a fan--but poodles are a good choice because they don't shed, they aren't messy, and they are very fast learners. They are gentle and good with older people and children. If she must have a puppy, I'd recommend one that learns quickly!

[ysolde]

I grew up with poodles and a disability. I agree that, if she is going to get a puppy (which I don't think is a good idea), a poodle is a good choice. They are easy to train, use wee-wee pads, easy to leash train, walk well on a leash, and can be trained not to be underfoot too much. Caveat: I tripped on one of our poodles three times that I recall, injuring myself and causing the dog to yelp (though the dog was never injured).

[jbenny75]

DH didn't get anywhere with his sister. She's going to help his grandma housetrain the dog. With a full-time job and three kids.:rolleyes:

All I can think of is that the way we did housetraining,

1- We took the dogs out constantly.

2- If we saw one of them sniffing around, or if they managed to actually start peeing or pooping, we gave them a big NO and rushed them out the door.

If she is unable to do those things, how is the puppy ever going to get the idea that outside is the place to go to the bathroom? And how is she going to be able to clean up the messes? This is a trainwreck waiting to happen. I know in a few weeks or months they'll tell us they got rid of the puppy because he was going to the bathroom all over the house. :rolleyes: :mad:

[wendalah]

Ergh, nothing to add, but you are so right. The ONLY way the dogs get the "idea" is if you RUN LIKE HELL to catch them when they start pooping/peeing in the house, and put them outside immediately.

I can't see how the wee-wee pads would help either, since you have to do the dash-and-grab thing to plop them on the pads, too. :( Poor puppy. I feel especially awful because there are so many nice adult dogs that would be an easy companion for your grandma.

[Rico'sAlice]

I agree that a puppy for her is not a good idea. But I do have a housetraining tip to offer. If she is reasonable strong and mobile and the puppy is not too big/strong/wild she can keep it on a leash all of the time tied to her waist. This way you don't have to chase after it when it starts giving the bathroom signals.

[jbenny75]

That's the problem, she's not reasonably strong OR mobile. She can't get up out of her chair on her own. She has a recliner that pushes her up into a standing position. From there, she gets herself into her Jazzy chair thing.

[Sophia]

Oh my goodness, I was already thinking "BAD idea" as I read the beginning of the OP, but when I got to the part about it being a dachshund puppy, I literally gasped out loud. Doxies are notoriously stubborn and hard to housetrain.

[jbenny75]

I was pretty sure that I had heard that about dachsunds, but I wasn't sure.

[Sophia]

Between myself and my parents, there have been 5 in the family over the past 30 years, both male and female, standard and miniature. Adorable, but very strong willed.

[Kanga]

I SAH, am young and healthy, and am dieing to get a puppy. BUT, I have a 6 mo old dd who keeps me on my toes as it is and wouldn't even consider getting a puppy right now. I can't imagine being 80 something and handicapped. I'm sure she probably can't bend over to well either to clean up the messes. And I have yet to own a dog that hasn't gotten in the trash at least a few times.

Can you convince them to bring her to a shelter so she can "try out" some dogs. Like walking them, picking them up, etc. Poodles really aren't my favorite dog and I don't like them much personally, but I think they would be a GREAT match for her (well, not great, but I think you know what I mean) Plus they're agile so it would be able to jump on the couch, wheelchair, etc to keep her company. I've never owned a dachsund, but I can' imagine they can jump to high.

[Sophia]

Dachshunds can jump onto sofas and beds, but they shouldn't because they're prone to ruptured discs.

[kam]

Hope you and your DH or his sister want a puppy! You'll most assuredly end up with one.

She'd be a perfect candidate for an older, housetrained dog. There are thousands on petfinder.

[jbenny75]

She'd be a perfect candidate for an older, housetrained dog. There are thousands on petfinder.


I know! I actually hooked her up with her previous older dog when I saw him online at a shelter. Despite our best efforts, they seem determined to do this. *sigh*

[salysaturn]

Our neighbors have a doxie. It is bad for them to jump on anhything high b/c of their body structure, but this particular one is real snippy and territorial.

My friend really wanted a dog when she was younger, but her mom was dead aganst it cause she thought that after about a week or so, she wouldn't want it anymore, so she had a friend lend her a dog for a week, she made out well, and was able to get a dog. Can one of your dogs stay a week there to see if she is ready for a new friend? If she is game for the idea, it maybe because she knows whats best for her. She may need a friend.

[jbenny75]

The issue really isn't if she needs a friend or not. We aren't against her having a dog, we're against her getting a puppy. She isn't physically able to run in and out to housetrain it or to clean up after it. Leaving one of my dogs wouldn't really be a good comparison to having a puppy since they're older, well-behaved, and well-trained. She needs an older dog that she won't have to train and take outside constantly.

[boilermaker]

Like everyone else I groaned when I read your post. But it's great you are trying to avert the situation. Do you have an idea of when the puppy is supposed to be available? If it is still a little while down the road, I'd play on Grandma's sympathy...find an older dog that needs a home and make her feel like she is rescueing it. Give her a reason to pick a different dog vs telling her why a puppy won't work. Make it about the dog, not about what she can or cannot do. You may be surprised to find she'll take the easier way out without having to admit she might not be able to handle something.

Good luck!!!

[jbenny75]

Yay!! Guess what? DH's grandma is NOT getting the puppy. DH was told (and I know this isn't the whole story, but you know how men are-they never ask for the details) that the woman with the dachsund puppies decided not to sell them for whatever reason. DH's cousin's son knew someone who needed to rehome a 2 year old fox terrier, so his grandma took that dog. Now, I don't know anything about fox terriers, but the dog is older and housetrained, which has got to be a huge improvement over a puppy.

[jesvet]

Wow, great news! Hopefully this dog will be a better match!

[Sophia]

That's awesome!!! I hope he has a good temperment, but at least he's adult & house trained. :)

[ejs]

Yay!! Guess what? DH's grandma is NOT getting the puppy. DH was told (and I know this isn't the whole story, but you know how men are-they never ask for the details) that the woman with the dachsund puppies decided not to sell them for whatever reason. DH's cousin's son knew someone who needed to rehome a 2 year old fox terrier, so his grandma took that dog. Now, I don't know anything about fox terriers, but the dog is older and housetrained, which has got to be a huge improvement over a puppy.
While I think it's great she's not getting a puppy, she will still be challenged by a 2-year-old terrier. It will be a very high-energy dog for her and there's a chance it will be destructive if it gets bored or doesn't get enough exercise.

[jbenny75]

Oh, I hope not! Like I said, I know nothing about that breed, but I'm just so happy that she isn't getting a puppy.

Maybe I'll put together a "Happy New Dog" bag for her, with a Kong and some other toys. I'll tell her how to fill the Kong with stuff to give the dog an activity. At least that will help a little. Maybe she could play catch with him from her recliner. She spends most of her time in a long room that's combo living room/dining room. There's a clear pathway thru the rooms that she could throw a ball for the dog to chase.

[katiadarling]

I thoroughly recommend buster cubes and toys like that (http://www.sitstay.com/store/toys/toysd.shtml). (disclaimer: I haven't ever used this site I just linked to, I just thought it was a good collection of engaging toys) With that type of toy you put food in and the dog has to figure out how to move the toy around and get the food out (some people even feed their dogs exclusively using these toys). Very good for smart energetic dogs!

[jbenny75]

I actually have a Kong brand toy that's similar to that. My dogs don't bother with it, so I can give it to her.

[Tanya]

My grandparents had 2 fox terriers (back-to-back) in their older years, and they seemed to do fine. One of their dogs did attack me in the face as a kid, so be aware that they are not too kid-friendly.