Baby Shower-- Etiquette Question

[celticknotnut]

Not sure if this is a good forum to put this in... But here goes! I'm hostessing my SIL's baby shower at the end of the month. Invitations are about to go out (better late than never :rolleyes: ) and I have the ever present what to say or do about a gift registry...

My MIL and I planned to put a little slip of vellum inside the invite saying "Mommy and Daddy To Be are registered at blah blah blah..." But now I'm worrying about it being pushy instead of helpful...

Any thoughts?

TIA
Amber

tee hee! My first ConstantChatter post!

[Twylla]

Well, according to the "rules" you shouldn't say anything unless asked. Personally, I'd rather get the little slip in the invite, but that's just me. I'm also the first person to ask where someone's registered.

I guess if you really wanted to "hint" at something, maybe the invite could go something like, "First comes love, then comes marriage, now Joe and Janie and looking for a baby carriage... and blue baby clothes... and lots of diapers! Please come celebrate the arrival of Baby Smith, and fill his little nursery!" Or something like that. You know, hint, but don't SAY.

Good luck!

[wildcat]

I think it's totally appropriate to put where your SIL is registered. I think the etiquette says that if it's your own party you're sending invites for (i.e. your wedding), you don't list registry info. All bridal shower and baby shower I have sent and received have registry info on the invite itself or on a separate slip in the invite. HTH's!

[Cohl]

I know that I love it when registry information is put into invitations. I think it's a bit inappropriate when you are inviting people to your own thing, but if you are throwing it for her than I say go for it. Most poeple that I have talked to appreciate it.

[celticknotnut]

Thanks so much everyone... this goes a long way to easing my fears... DH said I had it confused with when it's my own party! But I feel better hearing it here.

I'm off to make some inserts for these little puppies!

Thanks again.
A

[Sazoo]

I think it is perfectly appropriate to provide registry info for the couple in the baby shower invitations. Most of the bridal shower invites I've received included registry info, which I always appreciate. I do think it's inappropriate for the couple to solicit gifts by putting registry info in invitations they're sending out themselves - i.e. in wedding invitations. Then it seems like they are asking for gifts. But if you, as the hostess of the baby shower, share the information, I think that is totally fine & will probably be appreciated by the shower guests.

[BTB]

I thought even official etiquette mavens permit registry info in shower invites, just not wedding invites. I'd include the vellum card, I think it's expected for a shower and you'll have to field all the phone calls if you don't.

[numberlady]

When I have thrown showers I always have included the registry information. It may not be proper, but if you don't they you will get calls from everyone you invite asking where she/they are registered.

[jennylou]

The purpose of a shower is to shower someone with gifts, it would make sense then, to include registry information.

[jengen]

I have been to a lot of baby showers lately and have never gotten a baby shower invite that didn't have the registry info in it. Ediquette or not, it makes it easier for shopping and like others have said you'll end up having a lot of people call you for it if you don't.

[Jane&Andy]

ITA with Jenny - the purpose of the shower is to shower someone with gifts. Which is the reason its not appropriate to throw yourself a shower but it is ok to include registry info.

[usafwife]

When my SIL sent out the invites for my baby shower she included the list of places where we were registered. I had already given her the list of places prior to the invites going out. I thought that it would be helpful for people to know of things that we wanted. I'd rather buy off the registery rather than give a gift that someone didn't really want. I don't see a problem in including the list with the invites.

[pacificbliss]

I always appreciate knowing where the registries are. It does not matter if it is a baby shower, bridal shower, or wedding. I want to get a gift and I want it to be something the couple wants or needs.

[snowzilla]

I've always thought that it was acceptable for a shower invite (bridal, baby or otherwise) to include registry info - it's just the wedding invite that shouldn't include that information. I think you'd be fine including it. :)

[lady1297]

Not to muck up the thread, but I was always taught that you should NEVER put registry info in invitations. And as a guest, you are expected to call when you RSVP and ASK for ideas or registry places. For both weddings and showers.

I didn't provide the cards for either of my invitations (wedding or baby shower) even though other's hosted them. People were upset that they had to call and ask, but they were supposed to RSVP anyway (which is a whole other pet peeve of mine), so they could ask then. Just me, but I'd rather not see the cards and just ask what the couple needs or where they are registered. :) Sorry. :)

[celticknotnut]

Lady1297:

No worries for "mucking it up"... I wanted all opinions! Thank you for giving yours... I thought I was going crazy to remember somewhere it's never "appropriate", but I'm hyper about some little things (like RSVPing)...

In the end, I did go with the just do it mentality and as they are all family and close friends, I'm sure I'll have no fall out... also MIL asked me to do it that way, so :rolleyes:


Anymahoo... They went out this weekend! Shall I post a picture of them? They turned out ADORABLE, a variation on an Anna Griffin design.

Thanks again Ladies for the input.

Amber

[Jane&Andy]

Shall I post a picture of them?

yes, I'd love to see them.

[Twylla]

Yes, a picture please!

[celticknotnut]

:) I'll post it tonight when I get home from work! Thanks for encouraging me to share!

A

ETA the pics of the invites:

The design is adapted from an Anna Griffin idea book, orginally a Baby Announcement:

http://www.celticinnovations.com/images/showerinviteoutter.jpg

Printed the details inside using MS Word and my color printer before I cut the "bonnet" out or folded them...
http://www.celticinnovations.com/images/showerinviteinner.jpg

Thanks again for letting me share and for all the advice!
A

[Jane&Andy]

wow! looks fabulous! :D

[celticknotnut]

Thanks so much Jane&Andy! :D

[berry]

My goodness that is the cutest invite! I love it.

[Twylla]

They are adorable!!! You did a GREAT job!

[amew]

Not to muck up the thread, but I was always taught that you should NEVER put registry info in invitations. And as a guest, you are expected to call when you RSVP and ASK for ideas or registry places. For both weddings and showers.

I was taught this as well. My mother and her circle of friends typically throw wedding showers for one another's children, and they never include registry info on the shower invites and would be horrified if someone did so. On the other hand, the baby showers around here are generally thrown by the mom-to-be's friends, and I have seen registry information included in those a few times, so maybe it's a generational thing.

The invites are adorable!

[celticknotnut]

Berry, Twylla & Amew: Thanks SO VERY much for the kind words everyone! I'm exciting to be hosting this shower and all the little touches are turning out great.

Thanks again to all who posted opinions and experiences... I really felt better having some "it's okay's" even though what I was taught was opposite... Times they are a changin'!

A

[shaqangel]

chiming in at the last minute but i just wanted to say its okay if u put registry info with a SHOWER invite but not with the wedding invite. i've thrown a few showers and i've not always listed the registry places - i usually let people know where the registry is available when the rsvp or ask.

i was appalled last week when i received a wedding invite and with all the inserts was the registry information from the different stores the bride and groom had registered at - and even something that says 'the bride and groom prefer...' i was quite shocked. but oh well!

i have to say your shower invites are absolutely adorable!