Sleep Issues and Daycare

[scout]

My ds is not napping at daycare. He sleeps for about 20 minutes every day and he's there for 8 hours. I don't know what to do. At home, he goes down for a nap about every two hours, and believe me, he needs it. I'm sure that part of the problem is that he's overstimulated at daycare, but the main problem is that my daycare lady doesn't seem to understand that I NEED him to nap. When I pick him up, he's so exhausted and crabby that I have to put him down for a nap and then I don't get to see him. I've come right out and said,"Maxwell really needs to nap. I know he fights sleep, but he'll sleep once he settles down. If you have to let him cry a bit, you can do that." She replied,"Oh, I'll never let him cry. He doesn't like napping very much and is so content to play or be held." Well....that's great for her, but by the time I get him and he hasn't napped for seven hours he is horrendous. How can I convey that my ds NEEDS TO NAP. Twenty minutes is not enough. I think she puts him down to sleep, but once he cries or wakes up after twenty minutes, she gets him and doesn't make him go back to sleep. She isn't overworked--she only has one other baby.

[SiValleySteph]

You might want to give it more time. Stress to his caregiver that he needs more napping at this age and also give your son a little bit of time to adjust to being away from you. It's still a new environment for him.

However, you can't force your caregiver to let your baby CIO. If that is important to you, it may be necessary to find a caregiver who aligns their childcare philosophy more with your personal one. Instead, you could suggest that she pats his back or something like that if he wakes under 1 hour or something like that.

[scout]

Thanks for the reply! I know that both ds and our caregiver have to get used to each other, but she really seems to not care if he naps or not. However, you can't force your caregiver to let your baby CIO. I was probably unclear! I don't expect my caregiver to do CIO. I don't do "CIO", but I do let him fuss a bit. I told her he could cry a bit, and told her I didn't mean full on crying--just fussing. My ds never goes to bed happily--he'll fuss for a minute or two and then settle down. Once settled, he'll sleep for two hours. (I should also add that he has napped for long stretches two times at daycare)

[ajlanden]

Welcome to my world! DD won't nap well at daycare either. She actually napped well in the swing, but then she grew out of it. No matter what they tried she just wouldn't sleep more than 20 minutes.

I agree with Steph. I would keep talking to your caregiver everyday with how important it is for her to everything she can to get him to sleep. YOu can even go so far as saying. "YOu must let him cry for 5 minutes if he sleeps less than :30 minutes." Be specific in your requests and she should follow them because that is what you are paying her to do. If she doesn't that I would start looking for someone else! HTH!!!

With all our sleep problems my DD is doing a little better. She sometimes sleeps a whole hour! :eek:

ETA: instead of cry insert "fuss"...I just mean to be very specific in what you want. :)

[scout]

ajlanden So do you put your baby down for a nap when you get home? This is just breaking my heart. I miss him so much and I hate that he's napping right now. I guess tomorrow I'll have to be crystal clear about my wishes and very specific.

(ds slept in the swing too twice, but now the magic has worn off!)

[SiValleySteph]

By you can't force, I just meant that even though you are paying the caregiver, it's possible she might not agree to follow your preferences. I'm pretty sure at my daycare they won't put the child in the crib to cry because it would disturb the other babies. Your provider wouldn't be in the same situation since there are only 2 children, so maybe should would be willing to let him fuss to settle himself.

Good luck! My son is dropping a nap at daycare most days now and so he will often cat nap after I pick him up. I do miss him, so I try to get his bottles done or whatever when he is napping. Of course, last night I think he napped a bit too much, so he wouldn't go to sleep and started driving me nuts around 9pm! :D

[Winter Biscuit]

It took my DD a while to get used to taking naps at daycare. It took at least a few weeks before she settled into a good routine at daycare. She's 20 months old now and naps GREAT at daycare but naps HORRIBLE at home (go figure :rolleyes: ). How long has your son been in this woman's care?

Does your caregiver follow any type of nap routine? Maybe that would help. My daughter thrived when we introduced a routine after she was 3 months old - we just did the same things every day before we laid her down (e.g., shut the blinds, turn off the lights, I'd nurse her, then place her in her crib with her lovey). After several days of following the same routine, she came to know when it was naptime and came to expect to be laid down to sleep.

ITA with the other posters who suggested that you need to be very specific in your requests. This comment:

He doesn't like napping very much and is so content to play or be held.

raised red flags for me. Does this woman have childcare experience? Is she a licensed caregiver? It seems like most licensed providers KNOW that babies NEED to nap and sleep. It's true that some babies would rather be held, but that doesn't mean they don't need their sleep. I think it's irresponsible for her to continue playing and/or holding him, and I would definitely talk to her about that. In my state, licensed daycare providers are required to provide a period of rest/sleep for the children in their care. You may want to check and see what the laws are in your state (assuming she is licensed). Of course, since your son in younger though, there may not be any specific guidelines for babies.

I think in my state, the law says that babies are to eat and sleep on demand, while the older toddlers can have a designated period of rest. At my DD's daycare, the designated rest/nap period is 12pm to 2pm. All the children are encouarged to nap, but if there are some stubborn ones who simply refuse to go down no matter how hard they try to coax them to sleep, they are allowed to sit quietly and play.

Good luck :) Come back and let us know how it all works out.

[LeighW]

I also want to chime in with everyone else--it took my DD a long time to settle into napping at daycare. The first couple of weeks were pretty rough, and then it got a little better. She wasn't napping well for another few weeks after that. She started daycare when she was 5 months old.

We also had some trouble with fussing it out (which we let her do at home, and also CIO). She was in a room with 8 other babies, and they couldn't let her cry and wake the others up. So, sometimes she got a walk around the halls if they had trouble getting her down or she woke up long before the others. It sorted itself out, but I remember my DH and I were very upset and frustrated.

Now, she naps better at daycare than at home. Go figure.

I also understand that you are bummed if he naps as soon as you get home, but that's a function of his age. My DD took a third, short nap when we got home until she was about 9 months old. It was short (30-45 minutes), and I was actually glad to use the time to wash and prep bottles for the next day, read the mail, start dinner, etc. He will drop the late afternoon nap soon enough.

This also raises red flags for me:

Oh, I'll never let him cry. He doesn't like napping very much and is so content to play or be held."

Babies need to nap. Period.

I would wait another week or so and see if things start settling down, though, before I considered doing something drastic like moving him to another caregiver.

HTH.

[erin16nj]

Another non napper here....
My DS started daycare at 6 months and is now almost 9 months. He naps twice about 20 minutes each there. I have tried everything; brought his blankie from home, sleep sack, changed his crib position, sound machine, etc. He still naps not longer than a half hour. Every day when he comes home he has had to nap and is only in the last week dropping that nap but he is def tired when I pick him up.
It drives me crazy but they say he is not tired and also very distracted by what all of the other kids do.
He should be moving rooms within the next month and in the next room they all nap at the same time so it should be better.

I just wanted to let you know you are not alone, my son is also the only one who doesn't really nap in the infant room at his school.
It drives me crazy!!!

[scout]

Thanks, everyone. I guess the main thing that I struggle with is the fact that ds is a bad sleeper. He always has been. He's awful at night and for the first five months of his life naps were a stressful ordeal for me. He'd finally started being better, and then I had to go back to work. It's only been two weeks, so I'm probably getting all upset without allowing a proper adjustment period, but I'm struggling with guilt and so seeing my ds for an hour a day because he has to nap at home isn't helping.

She IS licensed. She takes care of the two babies while her daughter (32 years old) takes care of the preschoolers. She is also a mother of seven, so I had hoped that she'd know that babies need to sleep. The other baby is a champion napper--he goes down with no interventions. I do appreciate the advice and support. Today ds slept for an hour. Not great, but better. I'll update next week! Thanks! :)

[jerickson100]

My 8 month old DD has been in daycare 3 days a week for the last 2 1/2 months, and she is not sleeping! Once in a great while, she will take an hour nap, but far more often she will not take any nap at all. As a result, she is exhausted all the time. I know the daycare is putting her down a number of times, bur she will just cry. She naps 3-4 hours a day when she is home with us and seems much happier, although I think the weird sleep schedule is throwing her off. Is there anything I can do or try to get her to sleep at daycare??? We have brought in a lovey type thing that she LOVES, but I open to additional suggestions.

[Winter Biscuit]

Do you have a nap routine at home? If not, I strongly suggest that you start one and then have daycare replicate the routine. If you do, make sure your daycare is following your routine as much as possible. Babies thrive on routine and it might help your daughter understand that it's time to sleep when she sees/hears certain parts of the routine at daycare.

Also make sure that daycare is putting her down around the same times she would sleep at home. At 8 months old, I would think that she would be sleeping at *roughly* the same time every day. (At that age, my daughter would go down for a nap sometime between 9am and 10am, and then again in the early afternoon.)

The only other thing I can think of is maybe it's too noisy at daycare for your DD to sleep, if she is accustomed to total silence at home?? There's really no way around that but maybe they can help duplicate the home nap environment as much as possible (turn lights off, talk in quiet voices, read a book before nap, etc.)

I hope it gets better.

[twinnyme]

We have the same problem. DD is 10 months old next week and her naps at daycare have really deteriorated over the last couple of months. When she took two "naps" yesterday, one of which was 15 minutes, :eek: :eek: I said enough is enough. Today I finally brought in her lovey to ask them to use. They are going to try it. (She has multiple loveys, all different. We've sort of settled on one at home, but she's used others in the past. I'm hoping it helps.) But it's very frustrating. In fact, last week, I thought of moving her down to one nap a day and asked what the toddler room schedule is (they nap 12-2:30 there) so if it comes down to it, I’ll work on that to get her ready for when she moves at 13 months.

I have TRIED to implement a routine at home, but she just wants to sleep when she wants to sleep. It is a *rough* schedule, usually a two hour nap in the morning (8 or 9 depending on when she woke up) and a two hour nap in the afternoon (could be anywhere from 12-2, 2-4, whatever), but it can also be all over the place, at different times, shorter amounts, etc., depending on how she is feeling that day. If I try to implement the routine and she doesn’t want to nap, it becomes a very frustrating situation for all of us. Sometimes she just isn’t tired yet.

I think the issues at daycare are not only noisiness and light (though it is in a semi-separate alcove area) but also that she wants to be mobile and having fun – the same issue at home – and doesn’t want to sleep. And since not napping doesn’t seem to affect her nighttime sleep (she still gets 11-12 hours at night) I haven’t forced the issue. But as I said, when she took a 15-minute nap yesterday (I said to DH, why did they even write it down??) I knew we had to try something! So we’ll see how the lovey goes today. When I put her in her crib at home and hand her her lovey, she tends to take the lovey, put it over her eyes, roll over onto her tummy, and go to sleep (after settling down making some noises first). So hopefully that will at least eliminate the lighting issues (if not the noisy issues) at daycare. And at home, during naps, her room is relatively light – we have blinds but not heavy curtains or shades, and she can sleep fine.

I guess since you’ve already tried the lovey, my post is not very helpful, but I can definitely sympathize. And btw, we also are on a part-time schedule – she is there 3 days a week and home 2 days a week and I think that throws her off a bit, too. . This schedule just began in the last couple of months; before that, she was in daycare 5 days and is one of the reasons why I’m even more motivated to introduce a routine at home. (I work at home those days, part time.) But it still is not happening. But sometimes I think the part-time schedule makes it even harder on their sleep schedules, which I hadn’t even considered beforehand!

Good luck resolving your DD’s sleep issues at daycare!

[Renrel]

I don't have a solution, just some symathy and distant hope. My son went into daycare at about 11mnth, in the infant room. Naps were a disaster. He could not sleep with other babies awake around him and in the infant room they all nap on their own schedule, or lack there of. He got alittle better when he moved into the infant/toddler room at one year. They all napped at the same time, but the toddler room is next door with an open wall between and they napped at a latter time and were noisy. I was not happy though that he was pretty much forced to give up his 2nd nap whether he was ready or not. At home he still napped 2x a day easily. When he moved into the toddler room at 16 months he was napping great within 2 weeks, maybe less. Great meaning that not only did he nap but right after lunch he would go to his mat, lay down and just go to sleep, without any assistance from his teachers. Having a set time, after outdoor time and a meal, and having everyone else sleeping at the same time worked great. He now naps better at daycare than at home, though he is not a bad napper at home. He naps approximately 2 hours a day, often 2.5. So, there is hope in the future, at least if you use a daycare that has a different arrangment for the older kids.

[BooeyJ2]

Join the gang LOL.

DD USED to sleep at daycare, but for the past few months her naps have gotten shorter and shorter. She basically just catnaps there. Yesterday for instance she took (3) 30 minute naps...yet when she's home she'll take 2-3 hour naps. I think it's because there is just too much going on. Lots of noise, other babies crying, ect. Plus her crib at daycare probably isn't the comfiest. I also remember reading that when you baby learns something new their sleep patterns get all screwed up. The whole nap thing got worse right when she started crawling (6.5 months). She also doesn't sleep well when my sister babysits her because my nephew is pretty much always whining, crying or shrieking (he's almost 15 months) and always wakes her up. So yeah, she pretty much only gets "good" (over 2 hours) naps on Fridays (when she is with her grandpa - it's quiet since he's the only one home), Saturdays and Sundays (since we are home).

It's pretty much a lost cause I think since it's impossible for a noise free daycare center that has at least 10 kids+ a day :(

[Kristen78]

My daughter will be 3 months old when she satarts daycare next month. I'm currently freaking out about how she will nap when she is there. She naps during the day but it is usually in the swing, or on me. Sometimes I can get her to lay in the crib or pack & play for an hour or less. But usually she wakes up the minute I put her down and cries. I can't soothe her without picking her up. She refuses to take a pacifier.

We are co-sleeping now but are going to try transitioning her to the bassinet starting tonight. She is a GREAT sleeper at night in bed with us. She goes to bed late like 10pm and will sleep till 9-10am the next day with about 2 feedings in between that. She falls back asleep at night almost immediately.

Is daycare going to be traumatic for her? I've been trying to get her used to napping alone but she isn't always into it. Will she *get it* after a few days in daycare?

I'm probably over-worrying about this now but I can't help but wonder how it will go. Anyone have some words of wisdom?

[Brady]

You'll be surprised by how much might change with her napping just in the next month. My son was never a great sleeper... he started daycare at 3 months, and honestly- he started sleeping so much better! I was more lax with him with naps during the day, etc. where at daycare, there are so many kids and they provider has to be more structured with them. He took great naps with her. My DS also loved the swing, so he would sometimes even still take naps in there in the AM.

Are you doing an in-home or a center? my son went to an in-home and I just sat down with her the week before we started and went over his current "schedule/patterns", and she tried her best to stick with them, and like I said.. I think she even did a better job with the napping part! ;)
Good Luck!

[BooeyJ2]

DD is 9 1/2 months old and still doesnt nap well at daycare :( She's only there twice a week, so it's too hard to get used to a nap routine there....especially with so much going on. Seems like only the kids that go there all week (or at least a few days in a row) nap good.

DD is there on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so it's impossible to get her to nap well there :(


I really don't have words of wisdom, but i'm sure someone might! :)

[twinnyme]

I've had experiences in both realms that Brady and Booeyj2 mentioned.

he started daycare at 3 months, and honestly- he started sleeping so much better!

Exactly the same for my DD! She did so much better at daycare and I was so relieved. (I swear she didn't sleep more than 20 minutes at a time for the first 3 months of her life! And mostly on me, in the swing, the carseat, the bouncy seat, wherever she'd sleep.... It was really draining after a while.)

However, now at almost 12 months, she:

doesnt nap well at daycare

and it's been that way for a few months. She takes maybe two 1/2 hour to 45 minute naps there. But she's only there 3 days a week (Tues-Thurs) and although I don't think that's made a difference (I switched to part-time in August and before that her napping was already declining there). Although I LOVE the providers in her infant room, I'm almost now looking forward to her moving to the next room at 13 months because I think she'll get on a better nap schedule. At home with me on Mondays and Friday she takes MUCH longer naps, in her crib, sometimes once a day, sometimes twice - mostly depending on her but sometimes on outside events - so I really do think it's the extra stimulation at daycare that keeps her naps there short. (They do have a separate room that's darker but there are windows into it and no door, just a baby gate.)

What time will you be dropping her off at daycare? Is there any chance you can get her to bed earlier if you have to drop her off earlier than 9-10? I find it so difficult for me on the days I have to wake DD up to get ready for daycare; it's awful. Most days she's up in PLENTY of time but sometimes not. I also find that she goes to sleep earlier on the days she's at daycare, probably also because of the extra stimulation - which I like because I'm home with her on Mondays and Fridays, and I like the downtime in the evenings the other days.

[Kristen78]

I'll be bringing her to a daycare center. I'll probably be dropping her off around 8am and picking her up at 5. I am TRYING to get her to go to bed earlier, but most nights she won't. Sometimes I can get her in by 9pm, but not often. I am read some of the Weisbluth book so I know about the earlier bedtime, but her pediatrician said that going to bed late is OK and that its probably better for me because I will get that good 5-6 hours stretch of sleep since I will also go to bed around 10 or so.

She's going to be going to daycare 4 days a week. I think Mon-Thurs. My DH wanted me to take Wednesdays off, but I think I will take Fridays. I think it will be better for her schedule and my own.

In the meantime I'm going to keep trying to put her down for naps and hope that someday it will take! Thanks!

[Renrel]

I wish I could be reasuring but the best I can offer is that it depends on the daycare situation and the child. My child napped well at home in his crib but did awful in the infant daycare room. The kids napped on their own schedules and he could/would not sleep if other kids were up playing. Luckily he was only there for 4-6 weeks before becoming a wobbler 12mths -15mths. He did better there but not great. They all napped at the same time but in the adjoining room there were toddlers who napped a half hour later, and their noice effected his sleep. When he moved into the toddler room at 16mths he napped great. In fact within 2 weeks he was going right to his mat by himself after lunch and just going to sleep. No fuss at all. He went through days now and then when he did not nap well, but in general he has napped great a daycare since become a toddler.

[EJH]

We're currently dealing with this issue. DD started daycare this week. One of our biggest concerns was sleep. She's a fantastic sleeper, great napper, been sleeping through the night since she was a couple of months old. However, DD is a tummy sleeper. They wouldn't let her do this without a doc's note. Her first day at school, she didn't sleep at all. Well, she took 2 twenty minute naps. By the second day they had the note and she slept on her tummy and took her normal 3 hour nap. Today was okay too, she slept for a couple of hours in the morning. However, even with the naps she's exhausted, I don't think her naps are terribly restful. It's bright, loud (and we have several animals including a parrot, so she used to noise..but this is entirely different, it's just chaotic). I'm told she'll adjust (and we'll adjust...at this point I am so doubting that! :o ). I do think they get used to it, it just becomes part of their routine, but we just hate having to have her in daycare. But that's another story..

She's there from 8 to 5...the first night we got home around 6 and she was asleep by 7. We'll see how it all goes, she's only there 3 days a week.

Don't really have any advice, just wanted you to know you definitely aren't alone in this situation ... we worried about putting her in daycare from the moment she was born. She's pretty catered to at home, and she has a lovely personality. We don't want that to go away!!

[cc8]

My DD also napped wonderfully at home - we are talking 2 hour naps. We just started her at daycare (granted she has only been there 2 days) and her naps were about 30-40 minutes which IMO sucks. I kept DD home from daycare today and guess what - she went back to her 2 hour nap.

This is slightly off topic, but I went into the daycare center yesterday afternoon and was super surprised to see my DD napping in a bouncy seat. This is a definite NO/BAD IDEA. We do not have a bouncy seat at home; DD always sleeps and naps in her crib and I don't want her to come to "need" the bouncy to nap. Anyway, this is just my long-winded way of saying that hopefully your daycare teachers will be open & accommodating to how you want them to work with your DC.

Good luck!

[sdauer21]

I'd say plan on being a little patient for the first few weeks. Chances are, your daughter will develop her own routine at daycare, which may or may not include good naps. But, her sleep at home will adjust accordingly, too. My DD #2 would also only nap decently when I was holding her. I was very worried about her napping, or lack of napping, when I went back to work. Unfortunately, she still only catnaps at daycare - 3-4 20 minute naps a day. Her bedtime routine is pretty sacred because of that, though. She's usually in bed, asleep between 6:30-6:45. I really hate putting her to bed so early, but she's up most of the night if I don't. She also tends to take longer naps at home on the weekends. It all seems to work out. Additionally, as your DD gets older, she'll adjust her sleeping better, too! Abby sleeps better, in general, now then she did at 3 months! Not to say I wouldn't love another good sleeper - DD #1 still takes a 2 hour nap each day, and as an infant, slept 2-3 hours, 2x/day until she was 18 months old! :)

[cr8zyforaf]

I had the same concerns...when I was getting ready to take DD to daycare (she was 3 months) - she was only napping on me or in a swing...she had never even slept in her crib...she was horrible to try to get to nap and awful to get down at night.

I think daycare forced her into a schedule and we are much better now. In fact, the weekends are tough because I think she misses daycare.

I think you will surprised how well babies can adapt. I know I was amazed because I was convinced it was going to be a nightmare.

[dbers]

DD started daycare last week (she's only there 2 days a week)...and she is barely sleeping at all when she's there! She's finally sleeping really well at night, and the days that she's home, she takes long naps, so I know she needs it. She was there today from 10-5, and she only slept for 30 minutes. I know there's an adjustment period, and the other babies making noise makes it harder too. Anyone else go through this - will she learn to sleep at daycare?

ETA - she's 4.5 months

[CurlyT]

She will regulate her sleep at daycare, don't worry about that! My son was 3 months when he went to daycare and he was wired for 2 days! LOL! Would not sleep a wink at daycare, he came home those nights and knocked out as soon as he got home and didn't wake up until the next morning.

It's an adjustment for sure, but she will be fine and start napping at daycare.:p

[EJH]

My DD is 4.5 months as well. She started daycare last week. The first day she slept maybe 20 minutes. She came home just absolutely exhausted. Since then it has been inconsistent. Yesterday she took three 45 minute naps, today she slept for 3.5 hours straight...

She's normally a great sleeper, but she's still adjusting to sleeping as school. It's so chaotic and bright...they do dim the lights if most of the kids in her class are sleeping, but it's sure a different kind of place to sleep.

I have friends that have said she'll adjust, and it will get better and become normal. It just is hard on all of us!! She's there 3 days a week. She was so, incredibly happy to be home with us last weekend. She spent a lot of time sleeping to catch up on those missed naps. Poor bug. Poor parents!! :o

Hope your DD starts to adjust a little bit!! You're not alone!!

Erin

[twinnyme]

* bump *

[twinnyme]

* bump *

[twinnyme]

I think your DD will be fine. There will probably be waves. My DD slept great at daycare - actually better than she had at home, when she started there full time at 3 months. At 8 months, she dropped down to three days a week but even before that her napping at daycare had gone downhill. Now she barely sleeps there - maybe two 30-45 minute naps a day whereas the days she's home I can usually get one or two much longer naps. So it may get better, but then it may get difficult again - or it may not. I've bumped up a couple of other threads on this so you can get even more ideas. Hope it gets better!

[dbers]

Thanks so much for your replies ladies - and thanks to twinnyme for bumping up those threads! Looks like i need to be patient...

[cr8zyforaf]

yeah - and you will find highs and lows - DD was doing great - even took a few two hour naps - but this week - cr*p....no more than 30 minutes at a time and only 2-3 naps - and now she is up all night. I am having a bad mommy week.

[cr8zyforaf]

I am at my wits end here. DD is 4.5 months and has been in daycare since 3 months...she was sleeping fine at daycare - usually taking 3-4 naps usually lasting about 45 minutes each. She was also STTN - usually about 9-10 hours which puts her around 13-14 hours per day which I read is the average.

The past two weeks, she has been napping horrible at daycare - all this week each day she took 2 naps each lasting less than 30 minutes. When I get her home, she is exhausted and it seems unable to stay asleep for a long time (probably overly tired). I usually put her down for one final nap around 5:30 and then down to bed around 7:30 which was working for us.

This week, she won't go down at 7:30 despite the fact that she is exhausted. It takes an hour of rocking, walking with her thrashing and fussing in my arms to finally get her down (I've tried just laying her down and she SCREAMS...and I am not open to letting her CIO). Once she is down - she still seems restless. The past two nights, she finally went down around 8:30-8:45 but then was back up at midnight, 2, 4, 5, and 6. When she wakes she still seems tired.

Is she so tired that she can't sleep? What am I don't wrong here? I am at my wits end. I spoke with the daycare provider this morning and she told me that most of the babies only nap for a short period of time. I tried to stress the importance of her napping but she didn't seem to get it. As I was leaving, I said three times "she is really tired right now and need to lay down" and she put her on the floor to play - WTF?

Also, it seems they just let the babies fall asleep out of pure exhaustion - she told me yesterday she was fussing and then finally just feel asleep in the floor in a bobby :mad:. Shouldn't the daycare providers be making more of an effort to have a baby on a structured nap time? Am I expecting too much here?

[Natrat80]

If my daughter was in daycare I would sure hope that she got good sleep, because I've seen what a difference it makes for a baby to be well rested. In college I worked at a child development center in the baby room and we worked hard to get all the babies asleep. That meant they all had to be on a similar schedule which is difficult, but it usually worked. We always turned off the lights, turned on lullaby music and we laid them down and patted their backs (yes we laid them on their tummies and this was just a few years ago:confused: ). That said, it is really hard to get babies to sleep when other babies are moving around playing, etc. While it would be great if every baby at daycare could be rocked to sleep, unless they have a super low ratio its just not realistic. I do think its worth it to talk to your day care provider and tell him/her that your DD has been exhausted and you've had trouble getting her to sleep at night. Ask them if they could please try to get her to take more naps. I'm sure they'll work with you. Hope it gets better soon!

[Sasha]

Seems like you and I have had a lot of the same issues lately ;). My DD has been in daycare since she was 3 months old. When it comes to daycare, I have accepted the fact that no daycare out there is going to be good enough for me. Why? Because it's not me and how I would necessary do things. Once I realized that, I became much more at peace with the daycare situation and sort of began to let go of making a big issue out of everything that happened at daycare. I actually really love her daycare now, as does she.

Specifically talking about sleep issues at daycare, I'm right there with ya. Sarah has always been a terrible napper and daycare certainly doesn't help. She now sleeps maybe an hour a day at daycare. But it simply is too much to ask them to rock your baby to sleep because they have other babies they need to care for as well. Like the pp said, you should absolutely talk to your daughter's teachers about her sleep problems, so they can try to encourage her to nap. If they don't listen, talk to the Exec. Director of the center. Structured nap times generally don't happen until they are in an older classroom. At my DD's center, once she hits the one-year-old room, nap time is from 12:30 - 2:30. In the infant room, it's whenever they are tired, there is no designated nap time. I know that when I drop off DD in the mornings, she sometimes will be acting sleepy, like she needs her first "power nap" of the day, and I be sure to tell her teachers, but it's like she gets a second wind there. I've stayed and watched and once she starts playing there, she shows no signs of sleepiness, which I had just seen 10 mins earlier.

I know I have totally rambled on here, lol, and I don't know if I've been of any help :o. Maybe you should try putting her down for good at 5:30 or so, rather than just a nap then. I will say this for CIO - I was against it too, but was at my wit's end so we tried it - she cried for 5 mins and then was asleep for the night. After 2 days of this, we have never had a problem getting her to sleep again.

[LeighW]

My DD is now 2.5 (plus), but your post struck a chord with me. I remember those early days at daycare, and it sucked before she learned to nap there.

Your DD sounds overtired to me. I would try putting her down for the night earlier--maybe 6:00 or 6:30 pm for a few nights. Maybe she needs an earlier bedtime, or maybe she needs some extra sleep for a few nights to catch up.

I do not think you are expecting too much from your daycare. At my DD's daycare, there was an established nap schedule in the infant room. Not all infants followed it immediately, but they all did by the 5 or 6 month mark. The teachers did their best to put babies down when they were tired, and gradually moved them into a set schedule. Naptime was at 10:00 am and 2:00 pm, give or take.

If your daycare has a "babies nap when they need to" policy, that's fine. But, they need to watch the babies for sleepy signs and put them down as soon as the signs start. Letting them go until they pass out from exhaustion is a terrible idea, for many reasons.

I would speak to the lead teacher, and then to whoever supervises that person if you are not satisfied. I would also consider finding another daycare center, if that is feasible for you.

Good luck. Tired, cranky babies make for tired, cranky moms. Everyone needs to sleep!

[cr8zyforaf]

Thanks for all of your input. I don't know if we are just having a bad few days or this is a sign of things to come. Plus I am sleep deprived and totally emotinal - feeling like this makes me a horrible mother.

I will try putting her down earlier - it just stinks because I don't get to see her now and putting her down at 6:30 leaves us about an hour a day together. Another reason to hate having to work.

Also, once I get her down - she won't stay down - should I just let her scream until she falls back to sleep?

I will talk to her teacher again today - another thing that I am upset about - today is her favorite/primary teachers last day - so something else she will need to adjust to. I talked for almost a half an hour to the 'senior' teacher and she just didn't seem to get it.

[cr8zyforaf]

How did this work out? I am going through the same thing right now and I can't stop crying about it. Not only is DD no longer napping more than 30 minutes twice for the 8 hours she is at daycare, it is now keeping her from sleeping at night - I've been up every two hours for the past three days.

[twinnyme]

Structured nap times generally don't happen until they are in an older classroom. At my DD's center, once she hits the one-year-old room, nap time is from 12:30 - 2:30. In the infant room, it's whenever they are tired, there is no designated nap time. I know that when I drop off DD in the mornings, she sometimes will be acting sleepy, like she needs her first "power nap" of the day, and I be sure to tell her teachers, but it's like she gets a second wind there. I've stayed and watched and once she starts playing there, she shows no signs of sleepiness, which I had just seen 10 mins earlier.

This sounds so much like us, and my DD! I am actually looking forward to moving her to the next room, because they also have a set nap time (I think it's the same you mentioned: 12:30-2:30) and I'm hoping this will get her on a better schedule. Who knows? It could make things worse (I love the teachers she has right now), but I'm hoping. Right now, I've tried to give her a general schedule but be flexible, and that makes for inconsistent nap times. I work from home two days a week, during her nap times, and I really need her to get on a more consistent schedule - not only so I can work but also so I can get her outside during our non-nap/work times (I just have to know when they are!).

However, ITA with the philosophy of an infant room not having the infants on a schedule. I think it's better to go by their clues. It would be great if they all slept on the same schedule, but with ages ranging from 3 months to 13 months, I think that would be very difficult to do - though not impossible, I guess, as NatRat80 said.

I love DD's daycare overall, but I do have concerns every once in a while. If they're not tremendous ones, I let them work themselves out; if they're safety issues (I don't think I've ever had one) I'd confront it. We did have sleep issues, as well, and for a while, I brought in her lovey (and discussed the importance of sleep with her teacher) thinking that might help but it didn't, so I stopped that. Now I've just kind of accepted that things are different, sleep-wise, when she's at daycare, and in a way, for ME, it works because then I can work at night when she goes to bed early (which she does on daycare days). We try to keep the same bedtime the other days (when she's home all day) but it doesn't always work out, especially since she naps better those days. But I know how hard it is to be on the opposite end of things - DD's main teacher told me a while back that some parents got so angry at her because of this very issue - and then when the kids got home they'd go straight to sleep and the parents didn't get to see them, which upset everyone. It's very, very hard.

What concerns me more is your second post:

today is her favorite/primary teachers last day - so something else she will need to adjust to. I talked for almost a half an hour to the 'senior' teacher and she just didn't seem to get it.

What do you mean, they didn't get it? Did they listen? I certainly hope so! You'd think they'd have some sort of plan in place to transition the kids. A few months ago, they opened a second infant room at our center, and I made it clear that I wanted DD to remain in her original room with her original teacher - I think that was the plan, but I made it clear anyway. :) Kids are very adaptable, though, so I think your DD will be fine, but the teachers should listen to your concerns.

One thing that works for me is to get to daycare about 10 minutes early in the morning - her main teacher is there (but leaves at 2:30 before I pick up) and we can catch up and trade information and just chat. I've really enjoyed that time, actually, with her and the other parents. I also stay a few extra minutes at the end of the day, for the same reason. It makes you both human to each other, and you can glean - and give - valuable information about your DD. Does your schedule allow you to do that?

I'm sorry you're having such a rough week! I've been there, too!

[Tenny]

I am at the end of my rope. My DS never slept that well at daycare, but would at least take 2 naps a day usually around 45 minutes each. It wasn't ideal and he does sleep a lot better for naps when he is home, but I figured it was better then nothing. But in the past few weeks he is only taking ONE 30 minute nap during the whole day while at daycare. This is totally messing up his night schedule. He usually goes to bed around 7:00 pm, but since he is hardly sleeping during the day he wants to go to be earlier. Which would be fine, except for now he thinks 4:30 am is a great time to be wide awake and play. I then tried to give him a nap when we got home, but that ended up back firing.

This is what happened yesterday, I picked him up at 3:30 and put him down for a nap when we got home at about 3:45. I tried to wake him up after an hour, but he was so sleepy he fell right back to sleep. I tried for an hour to wake him and finally at 5:45 he was awake, but very cranky. Then of course by the time bedtime (7:00) rolls around he is wide-awake and ready to play. I let him stay up until about 8:00, but then it took up 1/2 hour to get him to sleep. Then he woke up 4:00 am, I was able to nurse him and get him to go back to sleep. But then he was wide-awake at 5:30 am and very cranky. He finally went down for a nap at 8:00 am and has been sleeping for an hour. The problem is I'm suppose to be at work right now!!


I just don't know what to do. I have told daycare a million times that he needs two naps. The only thing I can think of is letting him go over to the toddler room during naptime where the toom is room is quite and dark. But do you think at 10.5 months he is ready to go to just one nap. I'm thinking not, but then again one long nap is better then one 30 minute nap.....right?

Does anyone have any advice??

[Sasha]

I could have written your post. Usually my DD (10 months old tomorrow) takes two 30-40 minute naps a day at daycare, but yesterday she took one 45 minute nap. This has happened a few times. She will end up falling asleep as soon as we hit the car. That late nap doesn't always mess up her bedtime but it does some of the time. And when I have tried putting her to bed earlier, I get the same result as you - a baby up way to early. I have pleaded with her daycare teachers to try to get her to sleep twice a day, but a lot of times, the only way they can get her to sleep is by putting her in the buggy. She fights sleep and they don't want her to cry, so she just doesn't nap. I have no advice, can only commiserate. And no, I don't think that 10-11 months olds are ready for just one 45 minute nap a day because I know that my DD is so cranky on the days that this happens. I am also interested to see if anyone does have advice for this situation because it stinks!

[Tenny]

I'm sorry you are going thought the same thing Sasha.

The problem with DS is that he is always looking around and it distracted by every little thing. So if they are trying to put him down for a nap and another little kid makes one little noise he is up and ready to investigate. They are going to try and more a bouncy seat into the toddler room today and see if he will nap there. They nap from 12:00-2:30, that would be way better then one 30-45 minute nap.

I just feel so bad for my little man. I can tell he is tired with is red eyes and crankiness. When he gets enough sleep he wakes up the happiest little boy!

[Franni]

No solution, just commiseration. My poor DD has the same problem. She is older though (close to 16 months) but at home she was getting at least 2 hours of naps. Sometimes twice a day (1 hour each) or once a day (2 hours). She had just started daycare and she slept a little the first day (1 hour) and yesterday she only slept 15 minutes because the daycare had state inspectors, etc coming in. Her sleep last night was so fitful and she awakened a couple of time for a few minutes.

It's so hard to see her so unhappy.

Anyone with any suggestions, please let us know.

[Renrel]

Also not real suggestions. My DS also slept poorly in the infant room where they were all on their own schedules so someone was always up and he did not want to sleep if there was any action going on. Luckily we were only in the room for about 6 weeks and it was part time. Then at 12 mths he moved into a wobbler room which was better, since the all slept at the same time, though there was only one nap and I think he still really needed two. The bigger problem was the wobbler room was open to the toddler room and they went down 30-60 minutes later and made too much noice. So he did not sleep very well either. However, once he was in the toddler room he started sleeping much much better, to the point where he naps better at daycare than at home, at least he goes down easier. After about a week he understood the routine and was putting himself down for his nap as soon as he finished his lunch. So there may be light at the end of the tunnel, even it it is h*ll at the moment.

Sleeping in the toddler room may be a reasonable solution now if it gets him more sleep. Do you have any idea why he has suddenly changed his sleep pattern? Could he be teething or working on a new skill like standing and that his sleep would be lousy even without daycare?

[Ohana]

Does your daycare use cribs for the infants? I know that the daycare we use allows parents to put things like the Fischer Price Aquarium in a baby's crib so that the baby can hear the music. That helps with the distraction factor. I also used to send an extra blanket that they would drape around the side of the crib to block the view of other kids in the room. Maybe trying something like that would help?

[shellbell516]

My DD is a terrible daycare napper too. Things have just improved a little now that she's sitting up and they can let her play more. I think she wears herself out. They also moved her crib to the corner of the room. I guess she gets less stimulation there.

[twinnyme]

Does your daycare use cribs for the infants? I know that the daycare we use allows parents to put things like the Fischer Price Aquarium in a baby's crib so that the baby can hear the music. That helps with the distraction factor. I also used to send an extra blanket that they would drape around the side of the crib to block the view of other kids in the room. Maybe trying something like that would help?

This is a great idea, Ohana, especially the blanket draped around the crib! (Wish I'd thought of it.) Our daycare has cribs and though I never brought in a mobile or anything, I once tried to bring in her lovey from home but it didn't really work. The first few months DD was at daycare she was a wonderful napper (even though she'd only catnapped at home for the first 3 months); I couldn't believe how much her napping improved. Around 6 months or so, her napping deteriorated terribly (which is when I brought in the lovey) - same as you, 30 minute naps usually twice a day there, sometimes only once. I couldn't believe it. I liked her going to bed early, though (I work from home part-time and at an office part-time), and for a long time she slept 6 to 6.

Then she started waking up in the middle of the night - and maybe the reason is what you're saying (though I never connected it). Now she is fully transitioned into the toddler room (in the last 3 weeks) where they nap 12-2:30 each day. I do think she's okay with one nap a day but there she still only naps maybe 1.5 hours at most, though that's slowly increasing. But at home now she often naps 12-2:30/3 and now sleeps best 7 to 7. I think a lot of it has to do with the quiet in the toddler room since they all nap at the same time. When I say DD is a recovering catnapper, it's really true. She just likes to be in the action and seeing what's going on and, as she got older, she had a tough time napping in the infant room. I think your idea to try to have DS take naps in the toddler room is a good solution. Wish I'd thought of it!

Clearly, we didn't have a good solution - I'm just here to commiserate and maybe give some hope....

[Tenny]

Oh I'm sorry so many of us are going through the same thing!

Franni Hopefully your DD will adjust and start sleeping better.

Renrel I have no clue why this sudden chance. I guess it could be a number of things. He doesn't have any teeth yet so teething is a possiblity and he is also very active and very close to walking. And honestly he never sleep well at daycare since he started at 6 months, but it has been getting worst and worst as time goes on.

Ohana The blanket idea may work. We did have the Fischer Price Aquarium in his crib at schoola and at home for a while, but that just distracted him more.

shellbell516 My son also just gets so into playing that he doesn't fall asleep until he is over tired and then he doesn't sleep well because he can't calm himself down.

twinnyme I'm sure his poor sleep during the day is the reason he isn't sleeping well at night. It sounds like my DS is just your DD are they same way....they don't want to miss anything.

Thanks for all the help ladies. I'm about to call the daycare to see how his nap in the toddler room went.

[Tenny]

Guess what.....

I just called the daycare and DS sleep for.....drum roll please.....

1 hour and 25 minutes!!!!

This was on a cot in the toddler room!! Maybe we found an answer!!!

He has NEVER sleep for that long while at daycare!!!

[EJH]

Thought I'd chime in too.

DD was always a great napper before she started daycare. She napped consistently for 3 hours in the morning and a couple hours in the afternoon. At daycare most days she's unable to relax enough to sleep. It is so incredibly loud and chaotic. None of the rooms have walls that go up all the way so not only does she have to deal with the brightness and loudness of her own room, but with the other infant rooms as well. Now we're lucky to get a couple of 30 minute naps from her when she's at daycare and she comes home just wiped out, bags under her eyes. We're lucky in that it hasn't really affected her night sleep, but still, I hate seeing her so incredibly exhausted by 5pm.

I think also she doesn't sleep well there because at home she'll talk herself down for 10-15 minutes. I have a feeling that if she starts babbling to herself they assume she won't sleep, so they just get her up.

I know it's daycare related because on weekends and when she's home with DP on Mondays, she's back to her 3 hour naps (that start precisely 2 hours after she wakes up, her own scheduling of herself!) and then an hour or so in the afternoon.

[Tenny]

EJH I feel for you. We are lucky at our daycare each room is seperate with it is own walls and door. None of the room are connected. The young toddler room and the big toddler room share bathroom and are some what connected but there is still a door and window in between. DS is fine when we are home, like your DD it is only at daycare.

[cocopop]

It's possible that your DS could be gearing up for the switch to one nap a day. However, one 30 minute nap is certainly not enough sleep during the day.

DD has recently been going through the transition from two naps to one and it's been hard. She won't take her morning nap but will take a late morning nap which in turn screws up her bedtime schedule. For a while we were just keeping her up as long as we could and then putting her down for night much earlier than usual. Lately we've been keeping her up in the morning for as long as possible and by the time 12:00 rolls around she's ready for a two hour nap.

It took about of month of weird nap times and very early bed times but for the past week we've been successful with the one nap a day. Hopefully things are back to a normal schedule for you soon!

[twinnyme]

Tenny - that's great about DS's nap. I wish I could have done that (if I'd thought of it!). That was such a great idea you had! I'm not sure DD would have gone for it, though, because every time I put her on the floor to nap (at nana and papa's house usually) she'd pop right back up. Now, in the toddler room, she sleeps perfectly fine on the mat but a few months ago, she wouldn't have.

It's possible that your DS could be gearing up for the switch to one nap a day. However, one 30 minute nap is certainly not enough sleep during the day.

DD has recently been going through the transition from two naps to one and it's been hard. She won't take her morning nap but will take a late morning nap which in turn screws up her bedtime schedule. For a while we were just keeping her up as long as we could and then putting her down for night much earlier than usual. Lately we've been keeping her up in the morning for as long as possible and by the time 12:00 rolls around she's ready for a two hour nap.

Actually, I meant to mention this, too. Her home naps have been inconsistent because I think DD is working on the one-nap-a-day transition, too.

Also, in our daycare, though the infant room is a full separate room, the cribs, while they're in the same room, only have a separating wall that doesn't go all the way up. So that was part of our problem as well.