"Have You Found A Job Yet?"

[Brandles]

I have people coming out of the woodwork to ask me, "Have you found a job yet?". These are people who care: family members, friends, people who think I was wronged by the last school district for not renewing my contract.

But, it hurts--no matter who asks it. I get asked that question at least once a week, if not more often. My nail lady asks me in one way or another every 2 weeks when I go in.

It just makes me want to crawl under a rock and cry. Is there a nice way I can get them to stop asking? Thanks. :)

[artist]

Yeah, people can be rude. It's so cool when people ask that question when you HAVE a job!

An equally stupid question is "When are you having a baby?" or "Are you having a baby?"

My answer to the when are you having kids question is, "When I stop taking birth control."

[shopaholic]

I have people coming out of the woodwork to ask me, "Have you found a job yet?". These are people who care: family members, friends, people who think I was wronged by the last school district for not renewing my contract.

But, it hurts--no matter who asks it. I get asked that question at least once a week, if not more often. My nail lady asks me in one way or another every 2 weeks when I go in.

It just makes me want to crawl under a rock and cry. Is there a nice way I can get them to stop asking? Thanks. :)

Response: Have you gotten a life yet? Should shut them up :D

My answer to the when are you having kids question is, "When I stop taking birth control." LMAO

[maxandmolly]

I was out of work for eight months (got totally screwed over by my lovely emplyer, the great state of FL), and that question drove me nutty, too. I mean, if I had found a job, don'cha think that's the FIRST thing I would have mentioned when I saw people? I never did figure out how to get it to stop, but I feel for ya!

[Sabrina]

How about

"When I do, you will be the first to know!"

Say it a little sarcastically and hopefully they will get the hint! If they don't, then ask them an equally embarassing question right back ;)

[elladee]

I don't have any advice, just wanted to tell you I know how it feels.

My husband did not find a job right out of school. Yet everyone I saw would ask, "So has G found a job yet?" I of course say no, not yet. He's working on it, though. But I always felt like they were thinking I married some huge loser who did nothing but sit on his bum and watch tv all day.

[Brandles]

Thanks! :) Glad to know I'm not alone.

I don't want to be mean...these are people who care about me and love me and treat me like I'm family. It would be easier if they were people I didn't like! :p

I've thought about having a shirt made (or making it myself) that says, "No, I DO NOT have a job yet!" on the front and "I'll let you know when I do!" on the back! ;)

It's not as bad as all sorts of people asking me if DH and I were going to get engaged or if I got a ring for this, that or another holiday (but it's getting close). He was having some issues that weren't there when we first started dating, so that REALLY hurt me. I finally said, "You'll have to talk to him about that," and that was usually the end of that question from that person.

Many things I've learned not to ask people (no matter how close I am to them or if they're family): Are you going to get engaged/married? Are you pregnant? Do you have a job yet?

Yes, I'm dying to ask my little cousin who just graduated HS and has dated the same guy all through HS (so much so that he comes to Christmas and reunions and parties as family and he's accepted...I'm going to miss him if he "goes away") if they're planning on getting married. But, even though I'm pretty close to her, I won't. No way. I'm sure she's gotten that question 1000 times before and I don't need to make it 1,001. I figure if they get engaged, she'll tell me.

[shopaholic]

Yes, I'm dying to ask my little cousin who just graduated HS and has dated the same guy all through HS (so much so that he comes to Christmas and reunions and parties as family and he's accepted...I'm going to miss him if he "goes away") if they're planning on getting married. But, even though I'm pretty close to her, I won't. No way. I'm sure she's gotten that question 1000 times before and I don't need to make it 1,001. I figure if they get engaged, she'll tell me.

I get the "are you getting engaged" "when are you getting married" deal a lot. I guess being with someone for 5 years brings those types of questions!

I was unemployed from a period of Oct-March and I got the "did you get a job yet" quite a bit too!

[Zelda Von Yitz]

I like this one:

"Maybe you can open a daycare center at your house." :rolleyes:

"Maybe you can clean houses. These foreigners make a good $25 an hour!"

Uh, I don't like the references to the "foreigners" -- that smacks of racism to me -- and if you knew anybody who actually works for a cleaning service, the pay is barely there.

When my good friend was out of work, she took a job with a maid service. In 2 days, she racked up her shoulder badly and wound up quitting the job.

[granada]

Yes, I've found that the more often I am asked questions I don't want to be asked, I'm much more sensitive to asking people similar types of questions. I try really hard to bite my tongue when I feel a "When are you having babies?" "When are you getting married?" "Have you found a job yet?" type of question coming on.

DH and I were both looking for jobs for a while, and we were getting the "Have you found a job yet?" question from EVERYBODY. I used to answer with, "I'm working on it." And leave it at that. I say it nicely, but I don't offer anymore information. People usually get the hint at that point, and then I move on to something different. Like you, the people asking are usually people who care about me, so if I don't offer anymore information, then they usually know enough to leave it at that. But, of course, the next time you see them, they forget and ask again. ;) :rolleyes: *sigh*

[Brandles]

I get the "are you getting engaged" "when are you getting married" deal a lot. I guess being with someone for 5 years brings those types of questions!

Heck, I wasn't even with DH for 2 years before that question was asked over and over and started to bother me! Maybe it's all in where you live...and this Small Town, Ohio says that if you're with someone for 1 year, yer gittin' hitched! ;)

At my cousin's graduation party, I did look at her left ring finger discreetly...no engagement ring...so I didn't say a thing.

[Daniel's Kitty]

My MIL asks me all the time if I have found anything and finds it awful that I am not looking right now. I am wailting until after my baby is born. I thought of a remark even though I haven't had the guts to use it yet. MIL isn't working and not looking right now, so the first one is to be aimed at her, DH thinks it would be so funny.

"When you find one" or "When you find a real/better job"

[artist]

Maybe it's all in where you live...and this Small Town, Ohio says that if you're with someone for 1 year, yer gittin' hitched! ;)



Wow, seriously? All our friends wait like 10 years, and buy houses and have babies BEFORE gettin' hitched!

[Brandles]

Wow, seriously? All our friends wait like 10 years, and buy houses and have babies BEFORE gettin' hitched!

Heck, a few years back, I was an anomaly...I wasn't married and DIDN'T have kids. Around here, unless you "escape" to college, you have kids, get married and then get a house. Or get a house before you get married. But kids come before the marriage usually.

[Squee]

I sort of get the same deal. Im on the Invalids(cant work because of health reasons) benifit (very hard to get onto) heres how the conversation usually goes
Them- So what do you do steph
me- Im actually on the invalids benifit
them- oh but you could work if you wanted to couldnt you?
hmm yep but really I would rather rip off the government!!!! what the hell do they expect me to say???

I feel your pain!

[Brandles]

hmm yep but really I would rather rip off the government!!!!

I LOVE it!!! :p Sounds like something I'd say! ;)

[Kristy]

Man, if I had a nickel every time someone asked me that, I'd never have to work again lol. I dreaded holidays or family get togethers for that reason, and avoided certain family members like the plague.

I never did find a good comeback. Usually just a quick no and changing the subject to something interesting I was doing would shut them up.

[Zelda Von Yitz]

They think because you're out of work you're home watching TV all day and eating bonbons in front of the tube.

And then there's the lecture about how the economy is picking up and how the unemployment rate is the lowest it's been. Yeah, super kawaii for the economy and the unemployment rate: that ain't helping anyone being out of work lately.

[Brandles]

They think because you're out of work you're home watching TV all day and eating bonbons in front of the tube.

Yeah...I actually work harder and do more when I'm at home and NOT subbing! I have NO time to read books or magazines at home (except my book at bedtime), but I blow through them when subbing--especially with older kids who have work to do already or projects or a video.

[stevesbabygirl]

I would say "Why? Do you have one for me?"

[Zelda Von Yitz]

Speaking of comebacks...

In '92 when my company had cutbacks and closed our branch (the company was Chapter 11 and they did it as a cost cutting effort -- the company itself is now closed), an aunt of mine got particularly testy with questions.

Aunt to Ma: Why doesn't Zelda try getting a job in McDonald's?
Ma to Aunt: YOu go and YOU tell JANE to get one there!

Jane was the daughter of a neighbor of hers; Jane was one of those people who was living with her parents while she was a perpetual student. At that point, she'd been working on her masters' for four or five years...:rolleyes:

All Aunt could do was talk about how Jane was going to school and Jane this and Jane that. I felt like farking Jan Brady.

[Brandles]

I think I'm just going to be nice and hope they get the hint. I plan to say, "No, I don't have a job yet. I'll let you know if I get one." And if that doesn't work, I think I'll say, "No, I don't have a job yet. Please stop asking me."

[Zelda Von Yitz]

Some of these people are relentless with their questions.

I recently made the mistake of going back to work for Mr. X, a former employer. (long story; if you want the story, PM me). The gig lasted less than two weeks -- they claimed I was laid off due to no work. (now I'm back to temping yet again)

When I asked for my job back and Mr. X okayed it, I told exactly two people I went back (my brother and a good friend of mine) -- that is how uncertain I was about this gig and I was going to wait at least five months to tell everybody else. About a week after I went back, my pain aunt calls -- uh, did bro tell her I went back to work for Mr. X, because every other question of the conversation from her was "Did you get a job?" or "Did you go back to work?"

Bro claimed he didn't tell her. It just seemed too close for comfort to me that she coincidentally kept asking me "did you go back to work" over and over again during that conversation.

Somebody sure said something, I think -- and I've got a preety good idea who... :mad:

Oh, yeah...have you gotten this one:

"Have you considered starting your own business?" Uh, that takes time and money and what you choose has to be economy driven; I tried it myself for about a year and there was no dice. The cost of ads that appeared in my town's weekly was a small fortune: $85 for a 4 x 6 ad.

[Brandles]

I don't even tell DH when I write a letter saying I'm interested in a posted job anymore. I most definitely don't tell others, either. I think I'd only tell DH if I went on an interview because, afterwards, when I don't get the job, I'd have others asking me, "So, did you get the job?" :rolleyes:

[Heidi9771]

I was out of work for eight months (got totally screwed over by my lovely emplyer, the great state of FL), and that question drove me nutty, too. I mean, if I had found a job, don'cha think that's the FIRST thing I would have mentioned when I saw people?

Seriously. You would think that people would be a little more tactful and figure out that you would mention it. I was laid off once too several years ago, and this was so annoying. You spend so much time working on your job search every day, that when you get a moment to be social, the last thing you want to talk about is, "have you found a job yet?"

[Georgiana]

This is the longest that I have been w/o a job =6 months..My job was conveiently eliminated by the asses that be and now I only have my part time job at the sheriff's department that I want to quit so badly.
I get so sick of people telling me how to get a job and look at me as if something is wrong with me because I don't have one Folks don't believe that I am not looking -although they don't see the 10 -20 resumes I send out weekly, and they always have insignificant suggestions on getting a job. These same people that give this meaningless advice are 1. ones that have had a job for years and haven't been in the job market for years, 2. Ones that are retired.
I simply don't like the work culture around here. Nepotism runs rapid and so does the good ol'boy/girl network. It's pathetic. The game here is who you know and who you blow to get in anywhere. Expeirence, talents and qualifications... Huh...it doesn't matter in this area. It amazes me how different the cultures can be by 20 miles -that's how far my home town is. In my home town, Expeirence,talent and qualifications matter.. you know the important stuff.
At this point I could care less if I ever get a job in this area. I am starting to look back in the town I lived in for one. I could care less about the commute.
My "FH" is stressing me as well. I am so sick of his mouth. I could care less about his needs and his wants because the only person it will benefit is him. I am cutting into his cigarette money so that is a freaking no no.... :rolleyes: Actually the only time he bitches about it is when he can't do what he wants to do with his money.. However I still contribute financially with my pt time job and I'm getting unemployment so I'm not understanding his bitching and moaning is all about.


In a nut shell, I wish people get off my butt and leave me be.....

ETA: Little does he realize that once I'm gainfully employed, I am leaving his azz.... So if he has money problems now....

[Zelda Von Yitz]

Nepotism runs rapid and so does the good ol'boy/girl network. It's pathetic.

And it is a lot worse in the private sector. Count on that.

And please do yourself a favor and nip this in the bud:

My "FH" is stressing me as well. I am so sick of his mouth. I could care less about his needs and his wants because the only person it will benefit is him. I am cutting into his cigarette money so that is a freaking no no.... Actually the only time he bitches about it is when he can't do what he wants to do with his money.. However I still contribute financially with my pt time job and I'm getting unemployment so I'm not understanding his bitching and moaning is all about.

He indeed should understand -- and it is no longer a case of *your* money and *his* money: it is an *our money* deal when you are married.

Both your paychecks should go into a joint account after you're married and THAT is how all household expenses should be paid.

Do yourself a favor and make sure this issue is rectified BEFORE you get married -- if he doesn't want to view it as *our money* once you are married, you're going to have to decide if you want a life with somebody who has an iron hold on *his* money. That's not a healthy view when it comes to marriage and finances.

[Georgiana]

Nepotism runs rapid and so does the good ol'boy/girl network. It's pathetic.

And it is a lot worse in the private sector. Count on that.

And please do yourself a favor and nip this in the bud:

My "FH" is stressing me as well. I am so sick of his mouth. I could care less about his needs and his wants because the only person it will benefit is him. I am cutting into his cigarette money so that is a freaking no no.... Actually the only time he bitches about it is when he can't do what he wants to do with his money.. However I still contribute financially with my pt time job and I'm getting unemployment so I'm not understanding his bitching and moaning is all about.

He indeed should understand -- and it is no longer a case of *your* money and *his* money: it is an *our money* deal when you are married.

Both your paychecks should go into a joint account after you're married and THAT is how all household expenses should be paid.

Do yourself a favor and make sure this issue is rectified BEFORE you get married -- if he doesn't want to view it as *our money* once you are married, you're going to have to decide if you want a life with somebody who has an iron hold on *his* money. That's not a healthy view when it comes to marriage and finances.

He thinks that it's "our money" when he finds it conveinent to.. I have reached into his wallet when necessaryto get things for the house like food and pay bills that I couldn't and merge our money when there's a big bill like rent . Iam still uneasy about the joint checking thing because although a great idea I think it will be abused. I suggested when I was working a full time job that we open a joint account specifically for the bills and he skirted the issue coming up with an excuse. He discredited it because he did not come up with the idea... He is good for that.

[Brandles]

I simply don't like the work culture around here. Nepotism runs rapid and so does the good ol'boy/girl network. It's pathetic. The game here is who you know and who you blow to get in anywhere. Expeirence, talents and qualifications... Huh...it doesn't matter in this area.

And on what you can coach! That describes the teaching job market here perfectly! You're totally in if you're the off-spring of a good teacher. You have an automatic job if you're the off-spring of a board member or superintendent. :mad: You probably will have a job if you "know" someone like principals, administration, or another good employee. :rolleyes:

Unfortunately, I don't qualify for any of those. Maybe had my FIL run for mayor and won, then I might've gotten a job in that town.

[Zelda Von Yitz]

He thinks that it's "our money" when he finds it conveinent to.. I have reached into his wallet when necessaryto get things for the house like food and pay bills that I couldn't and merge our money when there's a big bill like rent . Iam still uneasy about the joint checking thing because although a great idea I think it will be abused. I suggested when I was working a full time job that we open a joint account specifically for the bills and he skirted the issue coming up with an excuse. He discredited it because he did not come up with the idea... He is good for that.

Not to hijack this thread, but this is pretty much a lost cause. If you don't nip this in the bud now, I don't see much of a future with this guy. What you have here is the mother of all big red flags.

Don't marry this guy until he understands that money's not to be pissed up and that when you are a committed couple, it is *our* money.

[Georgiana]

Not to hijack this thread, but this is pretty much a lost cause. If you don't nip this in the bud now, I don't see much of a future with this guy. What you have here is the mother of all big red flags.

Don't marry this guy until he understands that money's not to be pissed up and that when you are a committed couple, it is *our* money.


Go back up about 5 posts and see what I posted .... You see this is where my agenda is at. This is why it's important for my butt to get a job....