Questions re: being MOH for bride's 2nd wedding...

[AndreaMMS]

I'm really hoping someone can give me some etiquette info.

Here's the situation: My best friend and I live across the country from one another. She got married in 1999, and I was her MOH. I did all the traditional stuff - planned a shower and flew out for it, planned the bachlorette party, etc.

That marriage ended in divorce (which is a good thing). Now she is getting married again and has asked me to be Matron of Honor. I happily agreed. But what exactly does that entail for a second wedding? Do I need to plan another shower? Another bachlorette? Adding to that I have a new baby and don't know that I can afford to fly out there twice.....I'm really confused.

Thanks.

[maplekitty]

Is this the husbands first wedding? Showers are not typical for people having second weddings.

You can however still throw her a bachelorette party. Ask her what she wants? Maybe a low-key dinner out with some girlfriends would be more appropriate than a huge drinking bash at a bar.

[AndreaMMS]

maplekitty- yes, it's the groom's first wedding.

I really want her to feel special and show my support...maybe a classy night out would be good...

[maplekitty]

Some people will say that because it is the husbands first marriage, that he shouldnt have to miss out on all that stuff because his wife has been married before. However, typically the showers are thrown for the bride.

You could have a co-ed "wedding shower" as opposed to a "bridal shower". You could make it like a kitchen theme, or a gardening theme - something that would suit *both* of them.

But if they are like most "mature" couples ( I say "mature" instead of "older" because its nicer :p ), then they probably have most everything they need for themselves house-wise. In which case a "wine theme" or even the gardening theme would be more appropriate.

[Chimichanga]

I agree with Maplekitty. Ask your friend what she has in mind/what she'd like. Maybe they don't want a shower/bachelorette party. Maybe she does - but it's best not to guess. :)

You could always just plan things for a week or so in advance of the wedding so you can just fly out a bit early. it's not the most ideal situation, but it has worked for other people.

And, instead of doing a traditional shower, do a themed one. For example: favorite meals/recipes, around the clock, cleaning themed (although not the funnest, cleaning products are EXPENSIVE!).

[KrissyCat7]

I think a co-ed shower would be fun! I would ask her what she would like...but I dont think you are obligated by any means to throw both a shower and a bachelorette party.