Is DH/FH annoying the crap out of you?

[Natasha]

My FH is not helping with my pregnant woman stress. i try to communicate to him what I need, but he seems to not be listening. I am sure some of this is hormones, but it freaks me out! This pregnancy was not planned, although greatly celebrated. But, I just worry. i want him to be excited and attentive. he recently graduated and started a new job, so I try to keep it all in perspective. Is anyone else irritated to no end by their male counterpart?

[wendstress]

Sorry to say, but the answer is YES. That was the norm for me. :mad:

DH and I now joke that if we have another baby we'll have to live apart for 9 months if we want to stay together for the long haul.

Try as he might, he just didn't understand the hormones...there were times when I'm convinced he thought I was making it up.

The good news is that your hormone levels get back to normal very quickly after PG. DH now says, "I'm so glad to have you back!" Me too, for that matter.

[solongtogo]

Not all the time, but lately with the end in sight, he's getting more and more annoying. Not that he's doing anything differently, but since I'm getting bigger and more hormonal, he's my target. Poor guy.

[Natasha]

Thank goodness! I knew I wasn't alone! Now we just have to make it to November...

[Sebski]

*raises hand* mine is annoying too. :o In fact we had a major blowup yesterday over this. :rolleyes:

He has his great moments when he's the doting dad to be, but then he has his not so perfect ones that follow. For one, I don't think he gets that pregnancy hormones are not to be reckoned with. If I'm in a funk, just roll with it rather than try to figure out where its coming from and why. He's too analytical to get the emotional ups and downs that come with all these crazy hormones! And I hear you on the not always feeling like he's involved enough. I get that feeling from my DH too at times. I think that's normal though... after all, we're the ones carrying the baby's and going through most of it all first hand. They're sorta just hanging out until the big day arrives. I wish he would initiate some of the baby conversations - I feel like I'm the one to always do it. But, what can you do right? I wouldn't worry too much about it though... as frustrating as it may sound, I think it's pretty normal to feel like this. Blame it on the hormones! ;)

[LeslieR]

I really have not been that emotional or hormonal throughout this whole thing, but there have been times when he has gotten on my nerves. I feel bad, too, because he is seriously the greatest husband ever-very attentive, very loving, very understanding, etc. And actually, these qualities have sometimes triggered the annoyance in me. Yes, you *can* be *too* attentive. lol Then there's other stupid crap that annoys me for no reason-like his leg touching me under the table.:rolleyes: Poor guy. When I think about it, I'd much rather be me than him at this point because I know there's no way I'd put up with what he has put up with. lol

[ktdelsur]

DH goes from being just the best thing in the world to the most annoying person ever in mere minutes. Seconds even. I know its the hormones, but one minute I want him to leave me alone and the next I'm all, "C'mere and gimme a kiss"... :p

I've had two breakdowns since being PG...by breakdown I mean one minute I'm laughing, the next I'm yelling, and then I'm crying a minute later. It's insanity. Poor DH. He tends to laugh at the breakdowns b/c he knows they're hormonal, but he aggravates me even more when he laughs at them.

[lml41981]

Yup. At the beginning of my pregnancy, when I thought m/s was a passing phase, I would shut the door and try to retain some modesty while I hurled. He learned to leave me alone. As I realized it was going to stick around for awhile and got worse and worse, even, I decided it felt good when he held a cold rag to my neck and I wanted him to do that. Instead, he will often sit on the couch and play video games as I go throw up everything I've eaten in the last 8 hours. He doesn't even realize I am throwing up and I come out annoyed with him because while he was sitting there having fun, I was being miserable.

Oh well, at least my dogs care. :p They come in everytime I get sick (and I try not to think about the fact that they probably just want to snack on my vomit...dogs can be gross).

It also bugs me because he caters to whatever I want to eat...which means I always have to decide. I don't want to always decide. This one I really can't blame him for because the last several times he has decided, I've thrown up at the restaurant...it is just me being moody.

[Natasha]

Yes, yes, and YES! Even when he is being sweet, it can be annoying as hell! And, he can be so oblivious to what I want or what I am doing. Thank GOD I am not some horrible person, and this really is normal for pregnancy! he definetly has his good moments, don't get me wrong. Whew....I was really getting worried! At least now I have a place to vent when I feel like killing him!

[cr8zyforaf]

Yes....poor guy - he called me last night and I told him to hurry home because I couldn't take being alone and the dog was driving me crazy (my 80 pound lab has become EXTREMELY clinging to me since I've been pregnant and there are times when it just works my nerves - it isn't enough for him to be laying next to me - he has to be IN MY LAP or laying ON TOP OF ME to be happy). This is the same dog that NEVER left my side the 5 months I puked my guts out - so I feel bad, but he does annoy me. He said that he would probably just annoy me when he came in - so I told him he had to take the dog downstairs and just let me be alone for a few minutes. I came downstairs at 11PM ranting and raving that he didn't love me enough to come upstairs and spend some time with me - and he looked so confused. He said in the cutest voice "you told me to stay down here" which just p*ssed me off even more - since when does he listen to me??

We joke - he says he can't wait to get the real me back...it is funny but I just can't control it. Everything just grates my nerves in the worst way and it is getting worse the bigger and further along I get. I even yelled at my mom, who is planning my shower, because she isn't planning it the way I think it should be done....

[LeslieR]

My husband actually said to me last night: "I can't wait to have my wife back." Poor guy. :p

[jengen]

This thread is funny. At the beginning of my pregnancy, when DH was still in denial, and I started suffering from all-day sickness, he told me it was "in my head". :rolleyes: As if, just because I wasn't showing, it couldn't happen yet. He smartened up real quick!

[Natasha]

I swear, the guy can do no right! And I really do feel bad, afterwards. But, at the time, I just want him to make me feel better, even if I don't know what will do that for me! Ahhhh, November needs to hurry up and be here...

[pacificbliss]

Ok, now I feel bad. I saw the title of the thread and thought I'd join in because I was pissed at DH. Now I see that you are all pregnant and have good reason to be struggling to maintain composure. I'm not pregnant, just mad.

Today I spent a chunk of the day cleaning the kitchen. It was spotless. The fridge is clean, the oven is clean, I took everything off the counters and scrubbed them, the floor is shiny...you name it I cleaned it. DH came home and even commented that the kitchen looked nice. I was so happy he noticed. Then I went upstairs to take a shower. When I came down DH had fixed a snack and had a beer. He left the beer bottle on the counter along with a plate and fork. He rinsed everything and then left it on the counter. Even better, he left it on the counter above the dishwasher! And the recycling? Just the other side of the counter.

[islandgirlsj]

[QUOTE=pacificbliss]Ok, now I feel bad. I saw the title of the thread and thought I'd join in because I was pissed at DH. Now I see that you are all pregnant and have good reason to be struggling to maintain composure. I'm not pregnant, just mad.

THANK YOU!!
I thought the same thing, and I was just thinking, THANK GOD, I can get this off my shoulders.

I have to laugh at the thread though, as the hormones while you are pregant are rather off the scale.
How about hormones while doing IVF, which we are now. Talk about me changing moods in a second. Wow! :eek:

Men, I swear, can't live with them... and then again, can't live without them.
:rolleyes:

[Natasha]

Well, this was about pregnant hormones, but everyone needs a place to bitch about the DH. Feel free to join! heehee

[Natasha]

Grrrrrrr..... This is dumb, but I need to vent because he really ticked me off. When we get into the car, I always roll the windows down to start the car cooling process. If it doesn't work, THEN I turn the A/C on. he turns the A/c on as soon as he gets into the car. Up until very recently we only had one, 80's model car, and I stress about car problems, so I rarely use the A/C. we just bought a brand new 2005 CRV. Anyway, I was commenting in an email to him that I can't wait to go to my moms today (one hour drive), just for the air conditioned car. We have no A/C at home (we will in the new place, we move this weekend) and I am miserable in the heat when I am NOT 6 months pregnant. So, you can imagine how rotten I feel... He responded with a "yeah, I'm sure you're looking forward to the A/C, but you really should be using it sparingly...". WTF!!!!??? He ALWAYS turns the air on, not me. And, the last time I checked, I was the pregnant one. I will use whatever I want however I darn well please! Please believe, this isn't my normal attitiude, but he really got me playing the preggo card after that comment. Especially since he ALWAYS turns the air on, not me. Ugh. Ok, now it's off my chest, hopefully I won't ream him too bad when he gets home....

[adoredh]

Poor DH - I was well and truly PO'd at him... for sleeping.

He normally sleeps facing the oposite direction of me, and I flip flop during the night on which side I sleep on. Because each time I need to roll over, I wake fully up (because it's a whole production to roll this big belly over) Anyways, the whole night, DH slept facing me, beathing on my face (I hate things blowing on my face) and hogging MY pillow!!!! I know that I have 4 of them in the bed with me, but I needed that pillow to prop up my belly!!!! I was soooooo PO'd at him, I could have beat him with the pillow! LOL!

For the most part, he's amazing with my hormonal outbursts. He's finally learned, that for me, all it takes is a hug to make me feel better (unless I look like I'm going to beat the cr@p out of you, then you might want to stand back!)

Then again, as amazing as he is, I think I'm pretty amazing for not going as nutso with my hormones as I feel like doing! There's been more times that I've held my tounge, so for that, I deserve wife of the year award! LOL!

[LILRTL]

I, unfortunately, have had my fair share of blow-ups with DH. And I *always* end up feeling absolutely terrible after them. He has taken care of me like I never imagined - putting up with m/s, hormones, craziness, weepiness, etc. We did have our days in the beginning where he would drive me nuts. But they never lasted more than a few hours...thank goodness. He has, however, threatened to never have another child. :p ;)

[domesticdreamer]

I had come across this thread earlier in the week, but didn't really have anything to get off of my chest. But as this evening progressed, I remember thinking that it will be nice to vent in here!!!

DH talks to MIL via phone every week. She called him this evening as we're getting ready to go to our final birthing class (that was a whole other vent long ago...... :rolleyes: ). Well anyway, I'm in the bathroom getting ready and I can hear him going on and on to his mom about how painful these classes were for him and the only positive thing he can say is that tonight they'll be over. Also, how everything was so obvious and at an idiot level, etc. etc.
Then he moves on to another subject and talks to her about wanting to visit Slovakia with them (his parents) when they go next spring.
I'm putting on my make-up in the next room, "going WTF?!?" :mad: He never made mention of that European adventure to me before. I was already annoyed by his whining about birthing class and when he started discussing travel plans with his mother before his wife, then I got hopping mad.

My hormones just took over and I fumed to him..........
a) how dare you express interest in a major vacation like that with your mom before you even mention it to me, your wife!

b) please do not accompany me to birthing classes tonight. I have had enough of your whining and frankly I don't want you there. You're not doing me any *favors*, this is a *responsibility* you have to me and this baby as a partner and a father. So sorry to inconvenience you and waste your time.

He said he was going to class anyway, "because he knew he'd hear about it later if he didn't".

I pretty much ignored him on the way there and got very inwardly emotional to the point I was tearing up without wanting to. I began thinking how very little he touches my belly to bond w/ me and baby. (But he sure devotes the time to lie on the floor and stroke his dog for half an hour each night).
He's opened up his checkbook plenty to get ready for baby, but I don't think he gets it. Being a provider is not all about the $$$, it's about being a partner and meeting other needs too. I'd sure like him to say, "you look beautful pregnant, or you have a glow to you" .....anything. But he just ignores me altogether in that way (meaning at least he doesn't say anything mean spirited either). He's still interested in sex, I know, sorry TMI - but there's really no holding, caressing, tenderness involved.
He might say, "how'd your day go?", but I don't think he's really wanting to ask much more - like "how are you feeling about all of this?" Maybe he doesn't want to get into the discussion of how freaked out and overwhelmed I feel at times. Likewise to be fair, I guess I don't ask him either. Mainly b/c I'm afraid he might say...."it doesn't really phase him much at all." That would bother me worse!

Wow.........that was even a longer vent than I'd set out for. But it feels good to release.
I know I'm very emotional and he's not an ogre troll. Usually he's very good and doting, just lately when I need it the most- he's not.

I'm sure my emotional ups and downs are not easy for him either. But some things are just dumb for men to do regardless of whether their wives are pregnant or not!