View Full Version : ? about complimenting a mom re:bf'ing
07-06-2005, 12:09 PM
I was recently out to dinner with DH and noticed a woman bf'ing. She was incredibly discreet and the only reason I noticed was because I had done it myself many times before :)
I wanted to go up and tell her that it was great to see a woman comfortable with bf'ing in public. I know I spent many early months huddled in bathrooms because I wasn't comfortable in public and I would love to be able to give positive feedback to other moms.
I didn't say anything because I didn't want to sound crazy or like I had been watching her.
What can I say in the future??
ETA: I'm not looking to start a debate. I just want to know some positive things to say to women that are bf'ing in public. I know that all too often they only get glares and rude comments.
07-06-2005, 12:17 PM
I also saw a woman bf'ing on a bench in the mall and I wanted to go up to her and say, "Yeah! Way to go!" but I didn't want make her uncomfortable...
07-06-2005, 12:19 PM
I know I personally am always so happy to talk to someone about BFing so I would have been flattered if it had been me you had come up to.
07-06-2005, 12:44 PM
You might say, "Beautiful baby, he/she seems so content!" Indirectly acknowledging the BFing, but not coming right out and saying "Way to Breastfeed!!!" :)
ETA - I always tell my husband, I wish there was some kind of secret sign or wave you could do, the way he does when he's out on his motorcycle and sees another rider. :)
07-06-2005, 12:50 PM
When Baby Nora was teeny tiny and before I had attempted to NIP, I saw a woman in the foodcourt at Sam's Club nursing with a blanket.
I get *very* emotional when talking about BFing and tend to cry - so I just offered her the biggest smile ever and I know that *she knew* what I meant by it.
Now when I'm NIPing and someone actually makes eye contact and smiles - I know what they're thinking and I appreciate the indirect support.
Marisa - you're right - a nice signal would be perfect!
07-06-2005, 01:12 PM
I think I've heard of *business* cards that have a saying about thanking the mom for breastfeeding in public, etc but I have no idea where I heard about them:) I'm a help, huh?
07-06-2005, 01:26 PM
Good call, Shannon. :)
Nursing Notes (http://www.geocities.com/lisalisarussell/nursing.html)
07-06-2005, 02:42 PM
Good. I ain't crazy.
07-06-2005, 03:30 PM
I normally just smile! One time the person looked mad that I was looking which I find weird but usually they smile right back. I have never actually said anything though. I don't want to interrupt in case their baby is easily distracted.
One time though we were in San Diego at the Sea Port village or something like that and they had a nice area with a bunch of trees and benches. There were a whole bunch of people sitting on the benches and I sat down to feed DS and you should have seen how fast that area cleared out. :rolleyes:
07-06-2005, 03:39 PM
I think eye contact & a warm smile is plenty supportive. :)
07-06-2005, 06:46 PM
I had a woman come up to me when I was b/fing at the art festival. she was super nice, and just said something like "Good for you, I'm so proud of you for b/fing" I thought that was really nice!
07-07-2005, 10:12 AM
Thank you everyone for the thoughts and opinions!
I always tell my husband, I wish there was some kind of secret sign or wave you could do, the way he does when he's out on his motorcycle and sees another rider.
Lol! I've always thought that about WC/CC--that there should be a secret signal :D
AttyGrl74~ I always get emotional about it too. I'm glad I'm not the only one. I will have to try smiling and making eye contact next time.
Shannon & Marisa~I've never heard of the cards before. That's pretty cool!
sparkle&shine~That is what happened to me when I would try to NIP. It's so discouraging.
Sara~ You and Macy are bf'ing champs :D
Thanks again everyone! :)
07-07-2005, 12:29 PM
i've had a couple of women tell me i'm doing a good job. i try not to look, as when i NIP, i assume everybody is avoiding looking at me! if i bumped in to someone NIP, i'd smile too!
07-07-2005, 01:59 PM
Once a lady came up to me in a restaurant while I was NIPing with friends and told us that what we were doing was "beautiful." Granted, this was in the context of several of us BFing our babies at once (she thought we were a BF class! LOL!). But her comment was so nice that is has stuck with me all this time.
07-08-2005, 01:11 PM
I also have wondered about this and used to hide in dressing rooms or bathrooms to nurse. I usually try to give a nice smile and eye contact when I see others and try to remember how good I feel for them so with my next baby I am not so nervous about NIP.
07-08-2005, 01:29 PM
I'm still too scared to NIP, but I wish I wasn't. I've only noticed two women NIP and I smiled and gave them a thumbs up sign. When I had to nurse ds at a family gathering, I went off in a room and my grandmother's 85 year old sister walked in on me bfing. Older people tend to not understand bf (in my experience) so I was so pleased when she said, "Sounds like your little guy is enjoying a healthy meal!"
I think most bfing women would appreciate the warm fuzzy!
07-08-2005, 05:56 PM
Thomas is soo talkative and interested in everything these days, that I don't even have to say anything anymore. He will see someone nursing and say, rather loudly, "Baby Nuk! Mama Nuk!" And I usually say something like, Yeah, what a lucky baby! He gets mama Nuk just like Thomas! And then we smile and wave at the mama :)
07-08-2005, 07:50 PM
Just the other day I was reading on another parenting board about ways to support women who NIP and someone mentioned she had once received a card from another woman while she was nursing. I did a quick search and found a sheet of these cards that you can print out. They read
"I noticed you breastfeeding your baby and I wanted to say, "Thank you." It may not seem like a big deal to you, but the simple act of breastfeeding your baby in public is making an impression on those around you. It may help change someone's view of breastfeeding in public areas, or empower another mom to come out of a filthy restroom to breastfeed her baby more comfortably. Kudos"
That's from this site. (http://www.militantbreastfeedingcult.com/thankyou_breastfeeding_in_public.html) That one is more in support of NIP than just nursing in general but it would be pretty easy to edit it to make it appropriate to what you want to say. I think it's a pretty good idea.
I think it's good to say--right on! I said to one mom when she was breastfeeding in this cafe--I always used to breastfeed here.
I am a busybody and really try to give support to all moms who breastfeed! :)
07-10-2005, 08:56 PM
Thank you lorbo, Femmie, dzmattie and miel for your opinions :D
scout~I like the idea of giving a thumbs up. Supportive without being overwhelming!
mamahammer~That is so cute! That would make my day if I was the nursing mama that Thomas said that to :D
SarahKatG~ That's really cool, thanks for sharing. I will have to check out the website!
07-11-2005, 06:07 AM
i had troubles nursing (low-duct tissue), so i really admire the women that i see. i almost always tell them that i think they are doing a wonderful thing; usually at the playground. every single time, the mother has smiled and thanked me... quite a few times we strike up a conversation.
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