Help: Baby Will Only Sleep On Me

[JRPAGV]

My second post begging for help today! Can you tell I'm a little stressed out?? :rolleyes: :D

DS will be eight weeks old on Wednesday. For the first week or so, DS would only sleep in his swing. He would cry or scream if we put him on his back in the PnP in our room. Then, he started sleeping only on my chest at night, which he's been doing since he was maybe two or three weeks old. He sleeps GREAT during the night, so I probably shouldn't be complaining. But, he just can't sleep on my chest forever. I hate sleeping on my back and not being able to roll over or move, plus I rarely feel completely rested because I'm always waking up to check on him. He also wants to be held pretty much all day, every day. I can't even put him down long enough to take a shower. He'll occassionally fall asleep in his swing, but he usually wakes up crying after a few minutes. He wants to nap in my arms.

So, onto my questions... How and when should we transition him back into the PnP for naps and to sleep during the night? I know you can't spoil a newborn, but I'm afraid he's going to get used to sleeping with me (if he hasn't already). Is letting him cry-it-out the only way to solve this, or are there other alternatives? I've read that you're not supposed to let a baby CIO until he/she's at least four months old. How else do you transition a baby into his/her crib or PnP??

Please help! TIA! :)

[cartersmommy]

he is a little too young to cio, imo. have you tried putting white noise on and giving him a shirt of your that you have already worn so that he can smell you? we did this and it worked wonders!

[JRPAGV]

he is a little too young to cio, imo. have you tried putting white noise on and giving him a shirt of your that you have already worn so that he can smell you? we did this and it worked wonders! I thought it was too early to try letting him CIO. We haven't tried white noise, but we have tried quiet music (like the kind his swing plays). That used to work. Now he cries right through it. I'm a little afraid to put anything like a shirt in his PnP, because I'm scared he'll pull it over his face.

What kind of white noise did you try? Thanks so much for posting! :)

[catmom]

You've probably already tried this, but are you swaddling him before you put him down? If not, it might help.

Also, my DD *never* slept well in the pnp. The mattress was just too hard for her. She did fine pretty much anywhere else, but the pnp-forget it. We used to put her in it when we had to wake her up to nurse in the early days. A wet washcloth to the face wouldn't wake her, but 30 seconds in the pnp did it every time.

For the first several months, she actually slept in a snuggle nest (first in our bed, and then in the crib). I think the enclosed space made her feel more secure, and it made co-sleeping easier because I wasn't worried about rolling on her. Made it easier to transition to the crib, too (though transitioning her out of the snuggle nest was a little hard, but that may be because we waited too long).

[JRPAGV]

You've probably already tried this, but are you swaddling him before you put him down? If not, it might help. We tried swaddling him in the beginning, but he hated it. He squirmed until he got his arms free. We may have to try it again, though.

A wet washcloth to the face wouldn't wake her, but 30 seconds in the pnp did it every time. :D I've wondered if the PnP mattress is too hard for him. He wakes up within seconds after I place him on it!

Snugglenest: I might have to talk DH into buying one of these. How much do they run? Is there one brand in particular that's good?

Thanks so much for your help, catmom!

Please keep the replies coming! You ladies are giving me a lot to consider!

[ktdelsur]

Hey, I don't have any big advice since we had Andrew in the PnP from day one...but he quit liking swaddling there for awhile like you said Nathan doesn't like it. In the past 2-2.5 weeks we've started swaddling him at night and I think it helps him feel more secure.

I don't know if that has contributed to him starting to STTN, but I'm afraid to quit swaddling him to find out! Maybe try it again when he's really sleepy and see what happens!

Good luck!

[catmom]

I got a regular "snugglenest" at BRU... it was on clearence for $35, but I think they're generally $50. Target also sells this one:
http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/ref=br_1_1/602-3158544-5471055?%5Fencoding=UTF8&frombrowse=1&asin=B00012CHFI
for $40, and in retrospect that one looks a little better, since the baby can't scoot out the bottom.

[1_mommy]

my ds used to hate the swaddle. but i was desperate for him to sleep at night and bought a really good miricle blanket, and swaddled him. it made a HUGE difference in his sleep.
now our problem is getting him out of our bed and into his own bed! ds is 3 1/2 months

[cartersmommy]

white noise: i use the sleep sheep from redenvelope.com. EVERY NIGHT love it!
you could put the shirt under him.... that way he smells you and can't pull it on him.

[twainny]

my DS is now 10 months old. Sometimes when he wakes up at night and we get him, he will fall asleep on us (read: me) I have found that if I slowly move him from a vertical position to a laying down (like a cradle hold for BFing) postion, that when I put him in the crib that he doens't notice the movement.

I hope that made sense!

Good luck--- someday (too soon) you will miss how much he loved sleeping on you!! My DS slept on me for the first two weeks... oh how I miss that!!

[KiKi'sMommy]

I 2nd the vote for the snuggle nest...it was the best investment we ever made in sleep merchandise! My DD slept soooo much better when she was being held or at least touched. We started co-sleeping when she was about a month old, but my DH was a reluctant co-sleeper. He was so paranoid he would roll over on her. So after many fights and discussions, we did our research and he came up with the snuggle nest. It was 50 bucks, but she slept in it until she was almost 6 months old. I know this may be longer than the manufacturer recommends, but she loved it. Also, I compared the snuggle nest to the one at Target and I didn't like the target one as much. The place at the bottom made it so the baby could only go to a certain height before completely outgrowing it. I just felt that limited our time in it. This may be a good solution for you. I hope you find some rest!

[cynder]

DS had a heavy startle reflex and would sleep well in our arms or the carseat- for hours.We started using the Amazing Miracle Blanket around week 6 and it was a godsend. It really helped us transition to the PnP. Eventually we used solely for nighttime and around 4 months, weaned it from him cold turkey. I think each child is different so what we did might not work.

As you have heard CIO at this age is inapporpriate and though it sounds weird, you really can't spoil them at this age. I totally sympathize with you because I felt the same way - will he ever break this habit? I remember feeling desperate. It's esp. hard when it sounds like you are not getting good rest either. I hope you find something that works but rest assured that this is a phase and he will grow out of it.

I also really recommend only one parenting book- The Happiest Baby on the Block. It was a godsend to us and out parents for those first 4 months.

[oshannon]

First, let me say that your son is ADORABLE!

My son's only 4 weeks, but we were having the same concern. He'd sleep 5 hours at a time during the night on me, but wouldn't have anything to do with the crib or bassinette. He also hates being swaddled.

The sleep suggestions offerred in The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer have worked for us. We decided to give it a shot over the weekend, so that we had nights that FH didn't have to get up for work the next AM. Essentially, we get him just about asleep, then put him down in his crib. When he wakes & cries, we get him, hold him till he calms down and is just about back to sleep, then put him down again. As insane as it sounds, this really works for us. He's now waking up every 3 hours, but this is helping me get him on a better eating schedule, so it's well worth it.

Good luck to you. For what it's worth, I already miss him sleeping on me, but I do enjoy the better sleep quality.

[allyray231]

someday (too soon) you will miss how much he loved sleeping on you
So true! I think the ladies all have good advice. We used to swaddle DS from the arms down-arms free but the rest of him would be wrapped. We didn't do it till later on-he hated it in the beginning.

I had a snugglenest-DS used it a few times.

Good luck!

[Anon25]

My son is barely two weeks old and has begun crying when I put him in the bassinet...he wants to be held all the time and though I love him to death and understand why -- this has been very hard on me physically and a bit emotionally. So I understand where you're coming from.

I may get flamed for saying this - but I have let him CIO on a couple occasions. I set him down in the bassinet and keep my hand under his head or around his body somehow so he feels my warmth and wait until he dozes. This works sometimes. Others I have sat closeby and let him fuss it out a bit. I don't let him scream bloody murder - if it gets that bad, on my chest he goes and we try it again later.

This has meant much less sleep for me as it would be so much easier to just bring him to bed but it's all I can think to do.

[kimthebride]

My DS went through this: he went through a stage when he would only sleep at night lying on my chest with his head on my shoulder when I sat back in my BFing chair. Oh yeah, reeeeeal comfortable. :rolleyes:

What helped *us* was really putting The Happiest Baby on the Blockto the test: swaddle very tightly, shushing loudly, swinging him on his side. DH kept thinking I was being too rough, but it really worked when I followed the insructions.

We liked the Snuggle Nest as well. For the first few weeks when he was really cranky (before our BFing relationship got fixed), we'd sometimes keep the SN in bed between us since DH & I are very heavy sleepers and were too afraid to just put him in bed with us directly. Then we transitioned the SN into the cradle. Then eventually removed the SN from the cradle. (The SN has sleep-positioning pads in it.)

I had a cradle next to my side of the bed, and would put him to sleep tightly swaddled, in a sleep positioner in this, once we removed the SN. If he woke up at night, I'd usually just lean over the side of the cradle and lay my hands on him SHHHing. If he was freaking, I'd do the whole 5 S's series with him. For naps he was usually in the PnP in our livingroom, so I'd swaddle him and keep a sleep positioner in there as well.

Also, I was BFing and didn't realize at the time some of the things I was eating were bothering him - thus making him need to be comforted. Milk, garlic, gassy veggies, etc were upsetting his tummy, but they usually don't tell you about this until the 2-3 month visit. I saw him mellow out once I restricted my diet.

Hope that helps - good luck!!

[jengen]

I am another one who recommends the SnuggleNest - best $50 we ever spent! :D (we got ours at BRU)
Cole wanted to only sleep on my chest and once we bought the snugglenest (when he was like 3 weeks old), he would fuss in it a little, but I would just lean over and rub his tummy and make the "ssshhh" noise and he'd settle down and go to sleep on his own. Pretty soon, I was able to put him down and he'd go to sleep very quickly without so much soothing from me. Also, we started putting him in it in his bassinet vs in our bed and he is fine with that. However, during the day is a different story still. He will only go in it if he is pretty zonked.

Good luck!!

[kinaida]

The sleep suggestions offerred in The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer have worked for us. We decided to give it a shot over the weekend, so that we had nights that FH didn't have to get up for work the next AM. Essentially, we get him just about asleep, then put him down in his crib. When he wakes & cries, we get him, hold him till he calms down and is just about back to sleep, then put him down again. As insane as it sounds, this really works for us. He's now waking up every 3 hours, but this is helping me get him on a better eating schedule, so it's well worth it.
I will second this. I had my doubts that it would work and the first night it took FOREVER for him to get to sleep (I had to continually pick him up, soothe him back to sleep, etc. But eventually he did go down in the PnP.

[BooeyJ2]

A sleep positioner did the trick for us.

We had the "Inclined To Sleep" positioner (bought at BRU)...
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00007B76C.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg


The head area is elevated, and the entire "matress" is that memory foam type of stuff, so I think it makes them feel like they are being held (it's also great if they have colds and I personally think that it helps reduce "flat head symdrome").

DD slept like a log in hers....
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v716/Booey143598/3-19-05-21.jpg


Since it had the "breathable mesh head area", there were times where I let her sleep on her tummy if I was sitting right next to her...
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v716/Booey143598/82f6558c.jpg



FWIW, the sleep positoner also fit PERFECTLY inside of the SnuggleNest...which was awesome for taking to grandmas house or wherever as an "instant bed" (before she could roll over anyway ;) )

[tinygoddess]

DD is now 5 mos. old and has been STTN since she was 8 wks old. Some things that definitely worked for us:

*On her 1 month b-day, we decided to try to transition her into her crib instead of sleeping in the PnP (which is what she had been doing). It totally worked and that's where she's slept ever since. I think the bassinet part of the PnP feels a little unstable to a baby - it seems to wake them up any time they make the slightest movement.

*DD LOVED being swaddled and we did it up until a few weeks ago. Now she sleeps with a fleece Sleep Sack and it seems to be working well. I also HIGHLY recommend "The Happiest Baby on the Block".

*She also used a sleep positioner for about the first 4 1/2 mos. I think it helped her feel "secure" and more like she was in someone's arms than just lying in a crib.

Hope all of this helps! Good Luck!

P.S. Your DS is ADORABLE!!