raising a family in a condo or townhouse?

[linda_loo]

In the next few years, we may be looking to move out of our current home, which we bought in 2001. We have 2 small children, aged 2 and 3.5.

DH and I grew up very differently, he grew up in a 20th floor apartment in Brooklyn, NY. I grew up in a farming community, on several acres. Yes, he's city mouse and I am country mouse.

We bought a house when we were married, but I am increasingly beginning to think that home ownership is just not for us. DH can change lightbulbs and furnace filters, but that is about it. I am pretty handy, but am busy with the girls and I plan to go back to work soon. I don't have time to take care of everything on my own, kwim?

I don't really want to live on the 20th floor of an apartment building, our city schools stink, there is no way we are moving to the city. I would be happy to give up a lot of the privacy that we have now with a home, but not to live in a highrise. So, I am beginning to think that maybe a condo or a townhouse might be a good choice for us. I have read the entire condo thread in this forum, and I think I understand the pros and cons for many people.

My question is: what is it like to raise a family in, say, a condo? Are their families in your condos, or are they mostly couples?

TIA for your input!

[twinnyme]

Well, I'm a city mouse (NYC, Queens) and DH is a "country" mouse (well, very small town mouse), and we live in a townhouse in a further suburb of Boston. To answer your main question, are there other families? Yes, there are some, but people really stick to themselves, even in the summer when people are out more. It's very strange to me (however, perhaps it's even more so in a house? At least in the townhouse community, we see people pretty often, it's just that overtures aren't really returned). A couple across the row from us had a baby the week after us last January, I put a gift on their doorknob, suggested getting together when we were all ready for it, and never heard anything. They seemed hesitant to talk to us when we did see them (rarely). Another young couple has a child a few months older than ours, and the same thing - even when I try to talk to them, it's just a weird dynamic. I don't know, maybe it's our townhouse community? (It's not a very active one or anything and there's no public amenities like a pool or playground where people might interact more). Even in the summer, or spring, I will sit in the common grassy areas with DD on a blanket, and people rarely say anything to me. I once saw one of the mothers I mentioned above look through her window and see us - and I think she purposely didn't come out because of that. :confused: :confused:

Anyway you've read the other threads, which you'll see I posted in already (if it's the threads I'm thinking of). I like owning something and I agree that we are not very good at maintenance - but even in a townhouse you're responsible for everything inside; we're bad at that, too - but I would like to have a yard and more space.

We have two bedrooms, and I work part-time from home (and part time outside the home) and right now our "office" is in the dining room, which is tight and doesn't always work, but is doable. Also, with two kids, I would look for these things if you decide on a townhouse:

* a more open layout (than we have), without steps up and down into rooms. We have steps down into the dining room and the living room; if I were looking again I would not get something like that). Your kids are older, though, so maybe this isn't an issue.

* Do your girls share a room? If not, then I'd go for 4 bedrooms or a 3 bedroom with a "bonus" room or some sort of room to use as a playroom. It's definitely doable with fewer but even smaller bedrooms but having more would be preferable for me at this point. Our living room looks like a daycare center these days!

* Consideration of where the bathroom/laundry room is. Our main bathroom (with tub) is between our room and DD's. That is a problem when she's still asleep in the morning and we shower - that usually wakes her up (though she gets up early anyway, I'm convinced that if she is on the off-chance sleeping late, it is the shower that wakes her). So if you can get a bathroom further away from the kids' rooms, that would be ideal at this point (though having a door from the bathroom right into her room is helpful at bath time). The laundry room is also between the two bedrooms, on the other side. I never run it when she's asleep (which makes it difficult to find time to do laundry, even on weekends when DH and I are both home). People always say they like the location in our house b/c a plus is that you don't have to carry laundry baskets up and down stairs, but I find it restrictive because DD is a light sleeper.

We do have a one-car garage and DH always *lets* me have it, which is nice. Parking is not a problem for him, though, because there are plenty of guest spots. My sister, who lives in Manhattan, says she likes taking walks with my daughter here in the complex because it's so quiet.

ETA: We lived in a garden-style condo before this, but we didn't have DD then. I like having multiple floors and a garage now.

Can you tell I've thought about this a lot? I have a wish list ready for the next house (which probably won't be for another few years.) We'll have been in our townhouse for two years next month. HTH!

ETA: Just a funny story - we had DD's 1st birthday party at my IL's house this past weekend (in DH's small town) and one of my BIL's (on DH's side) suggested to my mother at the end of the party that they go warm up their car. My mother looked at him like he was crazy and said, "you know, if we did that in NY, our car may not be there when we came back" (an exaggeration, I know, but her car was once stolen that way b/c she had an old car that if it turned off wasn't guaranteed to turn back on and one day on her way to work she "dashed" into a bagel shop and her car was gone when she came back). I just thought it was funny and a clear example of the culture clash we've had from the beginning.

[SwiftyOWB]

We own a 2 story condo in Chicago and we have no children yet. We plan to have one in the next few years and make our large bedroom work for both the baby and DH and I. DH will most likely be working from home in the near future so we will just figure out what needs to be done once the baby would need their own room. When we do move I would not be against a 3/4 bedroom condo again with our children sharing a room. We love the location of our condo because we are very close to the lake. You can raise children in a condo you just have to be more creative with your solutions.

[linda_loo]

Thanks so much.

Let me ask this: could you see yourself raising teenagers in a condo or a townhouse? Because I don't think we want to move around a lot.

[linda_loo]

Oh, and twinnyme, have you thought of putting a (loud) humidifier in dd's room? We run them all the time in our house, mostly for the benefits of humidity, particularly in the winter. Added bonus is the white noise.

[SiValleySteph]

We have a townhouse and a 1 year old. We have 16 units in our little development and about half have kids, I think.

The downside is that we don't have a yard. We do have a very large front patio with our grill, picnic table, sand & water table, etc. For playing ball and riding tricycles, we use the common driveway in the back. When it was warmer, we had a lot of fun doing tricyles with the neighbor girl.

Really the lack of yard is the main different between our townhouse and a SFH. We have a fairly large house for the area (1800 sq ft) - 3 bedroom, 2-1/2 baths, seperate office, living, family, dining eat-in kitchen, so we're not lacking in indoor space. We also have a 2 car garage and a storage room in the garage that holds all our bikes, luggage, tools, etc.

I alternate between loving our place and wanting to move to a SFH. The reality is that if we moved to a SFH we would be looking at a much older home, most likely in need of remodeling, and we would probably pay another $100-$200k (super expensive housing market to start with) to get something of a similar size. And then once we moved in we would hire a lawn service. :p

We do have a park within walking distance, grocery, Starbucks, drug store etc. we all walk to, which is great. We WOH, so DS is in daycare, so we really only miss the yard aspect on the weekends, but are often out and about, so it's not a big lossl.

[SiValleySteph]

As for teenagers, I am not sure. Due to the layout of our place, there is not a spot for teenagers to have a lot of privacy except for their rooms. Maybe that's better for the parents!

We plan to be here for at least the next 4 years (until our 5-yr ARM lock is up) and then reevaulate. But, I've always moved every 3-5 years growing up and we've already been here 3 years, so I'm getting that itch. :p

[twinnyme]

Wow, SiValleySteph, you have a huge townhouse and it's SO nice that you are in walking distance of all of that - that's what I miss about a real city. But we have heard a rumor that they are building a Starbucks across the street from us, so DH is in heaven (I prefer Dunkin' Donuts, but I like the idea of a weekly walk there with DD. I still remember seeing a photo of your son in a Starbucks somewhere on here - was he pushing his stroller or something, if I remember correctly?)

Linda - thanks for the suggestion. We run a humidifier constantly (well, during sleep, overnight and naps) in DD's room. We started it when she had a cold last winter, and haven't looked back. As for raising teenagers in our current townhouse, no way. Too small, too little privacy. We plan to have at least one more child, too, so depending on whether it were another girl or a boy, they could share a room, but even then it's not ideal (not just b/c of the sharing of a room, b/c I shared one until I went to college, but because the room they would share is just way too small).

I do agree with SwiftyOWB that you can be creative in your solutions. At first we had the "office" in DD's room but due to her light sleeping that didn't really work - especially when I quit my full time job to work from home part time. I dream of relocating the laundry room to downstairs so that I could make a mini-office in the space the laundry is currently in (I have few conference/phone calls so it is conceivable) but since we don't plan to be here long-term- then unless my freelancing picks up considerably (which is not the plan; I just do a little to allow me to WOH only part-time) it's not worth it.

Btw, that couple I tried to make friends with with a baby a week younger than ours moved out a couple of months ago to a SFH. They had to move much further from the husband's job (she is a SAHM) but one day she said to me, "don't you feel constricted?" I was never so insulted.... I grew up in a tiny house in NYC and my sisters both live in Manhattan 2BR apartments with their children (1 each), yes, I do feel constricted, but millions of people around the world do it - and quite happily.

[amorey]

We don’t have kids yet, but we’re tossing around the idea of moving to a townhouse for our long term home. I grew up in a 1,100sf rambler so I’m not used to having a ton of space. We’ve seen some town homes that are three levels- basement, main floor, and upper level. They also have 2 car attached garages. They have a bonus/rec/family room in the basement, kitchen, living and dining rooms and a half bath on the main floor, and three bedrooms and two full baths on the upper floor. They seem to run about 1700-2100sq, which seems plenty big for raising a family- even teenagers. We’ve seen existing townhomes (http://www.edinarealty.com/Consumer/Listing/ListingDetail.aspx?Search=&Listing=8302516) with this layout as well as new construction (http://www.townandcountryhomesmn.com/homesearch/floorplans/biscayne-elev.html). Some of them have large patios where you can have an outdoor dining area and a container garden. We would want a townhome community with green spaces for kids to play outside. Some even have playgrounds and pools and are on biking and hiking trails.

[ellybelle]

Just for clarification -- when you say condo, do you mean an apartment-like building (with neighbors above and below) or just that it's part of a planned community with dues, etc.

In our area, condos are usually in buildings converted from apartments, complete with thin walls. Townhomes are in rows, or even sometimes detached, with maybe a small patio/yard in back. I'd consider the latter for raising a family, especially if it came with a park-like area and playground. There are some nice homes like that near some downtown areas that I'd definitely consider, especially if the home was in agood school district.

[linda_loo]

Just for clarification -- when you say condo, do you mean an apartment-like building (with neighbors above and below) or just that it's part of a planned community with dues, etc.


I'm open to any and all that isn't a SFH, with limited outside maintenance. In our area, the word condo isn't even used much (I just used it because some of the pics in the condo thread were like what I see around here)... perhaps just in highrises in the city. I think the term "patio-home" is used often.

[linda_loo]

amorey - the links you show are enticing, cute homes!

twinnyme - so the no-teenager thing is probably a layout problem, correct? Would a better layout/larger home be more palatable for raising teenagers? I can see why you would feel insulted, and you are right, people all over live in smaller spaces. dh grew up with a 2 bedroom apartment, no dining area, he has 1 sibling, and no bad memories of being squeezed in or anything. It's all what you want and what you are used to, and what you make of it, right?

[linda_loo]

Steph - your house sounds great. I remember you mentioning the proximity of nice places (I think it was one of those kids-in-restaurants threads) and thought that you must live in a great area.

[linda_loo]

Here's a website of a nice development in our area:

www.sewickleycondos.com

There are condos and townhouses.

[polarama]

I spent my childhood in a SFH, my pre-teen/teen years in an apartment, and now live in a townhouse with DH. I thought I'd talk about being a teen in an apartment, if it's helpful at all.

My sis and I are 6 years apart, and we lived in a 3 bedroom apartment from when I was 9 till I was in college. When I was a freshman in high school, Karen and I went from sharing a bedroom to having separate bedrooms (when we shared a room, the 3rd room was a den/office...my parents used their living room more as a formal sitting room).

In terms of space/privacy/etc, I honestly didn't think it was a problem. Or at least I don't ever remember it being a problem. If I wanted to talk on the phone, I went into my room. Our bedrooms were clustered together, then the hall led to the dining room, living room, kitchen, foyer. It wasn't a huge apartment, but we never really felt that cramped.

Which is funny, because DH and I now live in a TH that is probably 2.5x the size of the apartment that my family of 4+dog lived in, and I feel like I'm running out of space!

[twinnyme]

twinnyme - so the no-teenager thing is probably a layout problem, correct? Would a better layout/larger home be more palatable for raising teenagers? I can see why you would feel insulted, and you are right, people all over live in smaller spaces. dh grew up with a 2 bedroom apartment, no dining area, he has 1 sibling, and no bad memories of being squeezed in or anything. It's all what you want and what you are used to, and what you make of it, right?

Yes, I see it as a space/layout problem - if we had one more bedroom and one more level, plus trails/green spaces and amenities (rec room/pool/playground) I would choose a townhouse/condo community 100%. I have no problem with our kids sharing a room (if they're of the same sex) as teenagers - like I mentioned, I did - but I'd want them to have other opportunities to get privacy. Even in NYC, we had a backyard (a small one, but we did have one) so there was usually some place to go - except in winter, of course! :)

I love the layouts that amorey posted. I'd be up for the "existing townhomes" one in a second. Also, perhaps something to consider is a smaller community. Ours has almost 200 townhomes, which is a lot. Again, if we had ways to get people together - open, public spaces - then I wouldn't mind the large community but it just seems impersonal sometimes. Perhaps a smaller one wouldn't seem so impersonal? I don't know, just musing now... :D

[LeslieR]

We have a 5.5mo old and live in a townhouse. I cannot wait until we can afford to buy a bigger house. We are so cramped for space. It's a nightmare. Granted we have baby paraphanalia everywhere, but still. I hate having people over because there is nowhere for anyone to sit. I daydream about having a house with a finished basement. We don't need a formal living room or dining room, but I would kill for a basement. As it is right now, the room that is intended to be a dining room has a futon, stereo, hutch, and more baby crap in it. My parents live in FL and when they come to visit, they sleep in there. It has no doors so it's not exactly private. We have 1 1/2 baths. The half bath is down here in the living area, the full bath is upstairs attached to our bedroom. So, when we have guests they have to come upstairs to our bathroom to shower. Probably not that annoying in the grand scheme of things, but I can't help but think how nice it would be if guests had their own bathroom to use and we did not have to juggle the timing of showers. There is a new development going up in our town that has 3 bedrooms and 3 1/2 baths. Since DH is not that handy, we thought that might be a good option for us because we do like the convenience we have here with not having to do our own snow removal, lawn moving, general outside house maitenance, etc. But, again, no basement.

To my surprise there seems to be a lot of older children (gradeschool age) in our complex. I *think* it's because it's so expensive to live there that townhouses are a good cheaper option for families. There are also a lot of older people-either retirement age or on the verge of.

Let me ask this: could you see yourself raising teenagers in a condo or a townhouse?

God, no. lol


ETA: The no yard thing is a big issue for us, too. We have a tiny, tiny bit in the back, but it's a hill. Not exactly ideal for children to play on, I don't think.

ET

[Hello Kitty]

When I was in college, I lived with my mom's friend & her daughter in a townhouse for awhile. Living-space wise, it was totally fine and do-able, since you're asking about teens.

The TH was a lot like Amorey described - 3 BRs 2 BA on the top floor, the living areas on the ground floor, and a partially finished basement. We had a backyard, but no front yard. There was enough room and between our two schedules, we weren't around at the same times anyway. Having a garage/basement was a huge plus, because there's room for growth/storage.

We have friends who live in a TH with their adorable two year old. They have a similar setup, and it seems to work out just fine for them. They also have a half backyard which is fenced in (great for the kids/dog) and a park nearby. I truly think it's a matter of perspective and assessing what you really 'need'. ETA, and also what's available in your area - suburban TH differ from city condos, KWIM?

[twinnyme]

My parents live in FL and when they come to visit, they sleep in there. It has no doors so it's not exactly private. We have 1 1/2 baths.

Good point about guests. My whole family still lives in NYC. They don't mind much staying in hotels - in fact, I think they prefer it; we like our space - but I'd rather have another option for them. One of my sisters, her DH and DS usually do stay with us. We have an air mattress that we blow up in the living room and set up a pac n play for their 2-year-old but when my nephew is older, I don't know what we'll do.... I don't much care about the bathroom, though, because we're usually not in a rush to get anywhere with two little kids around, so juggling showers isn't too problematic and there is a half-bath downstairs so they don't have to go through our bedroom to the bathroom for middle-of-the-night trips.

[Secret_Squirrel]

I went through a similar situation with my ex. The home maintanence was getting to be more than we wanted, so we started looking at townhouses for our family of 4.

If you don't mind lots of stairs, we really liked the 3 story design: garage and finished basement on the first level, kitchen/dining/living on the second, bedrooms/laundry on the 3rd. That gave a space for a playroom in the basement.

Ultimately, we stuck with what we had. We realized that with all the money we would be paying in HOA dues monthly, we could stay in our home and hire a lawn service and handyman.

[Southlooper]

We currently live in a one bedroom condo in the heart of Chicago and would like to move to a 3-4 bedroom condo or townshouse in the city in the future. We don't see ourselves in a SFH (we're not lawn people.) We are willing to exchange extra space for city living and being close to family.

My co-worker is currently raising 3 very active boys in a 2 bedroom condo. She is not planning to move. She likes raising her boys in such close quarters because she feels it makes them "deal" with each other instead of always running a closing yourself off into a solitary room. Also (she says joklingly) being in such close quarters gives them incentive to work hard to leave and become independent.

[justHB]

There are some pretty great townhomes available nowadays in the suburbs.

My uncle raised his kids in a 3 bedroom/2 bath townhome and there was plenty of room. It was 1800 sqft, had a garage, and a small plot of land in the back bit enough for a table, chairs, bbq, and whanot. The community had a pool and a ton of other families. My cousins were always outside playing with kids.

Before we left Pittsburgh, one of our friends bought a townhome in what was at the time an up and coming suburb and it was AWESOME. I would have loved to live in that home. The only difference between it and our other friends' house that was purchased at the same time was the fact that they shared one wall with a neighbor. I'd say their townhome was actually nicer than some SFRs.

Good luck, it can be done!

[Asha]

really i don't think we need all the space that the new housing trends needs to promote. my dh grew up with everyone in his family including cousins sharing one bedroom, so he just rolls his eyes when i mention that i think it would be nice if our furture kids could eventually have their own rooms. he thinks it is luxurious when kids get a separate room from the adults. i do think it is easier when kids have their own br's especially teenagers. i remember i was thrilled at the age of 14 when i finally got my own bedroom. it was just nice to be able to escape to the privacy of my own bedroom and write and read for hours on end.

though, i think our current condo/townhouse is doable for a family with young children. in fact, there are a lot of families in our townhouse complex, and some of them have many, many children. we are pretty lucky bc we are a corner unit so we have a "bigger" private yard which is plenty of space for young children to play in. also, we are within walking distance of a park and the beach so there is even more room for kids to really run around and play. the layout of our condo/townhouse is much like a house and it is bigger than the house i spent most of my childhood in. the only thing that i am wary of is that this place has a lot of stairs and i am sure that will scare the bejeezus out of me once i have kids. also, i don't like that there is no private master bath, so we will have to share a bathroom with our future children. we are not planning on staying here forever, but we will probably move to another condo. we would move to be more centrally located not to get extra space.

[SiValleySteph]

really i don't think we need all the space that the new housing trends needs to promote. my dh grew up with everyone in his family including cousins sharing one bedroom, so he just rolls his eyes when i mention that i think it would be nice if our furture kids could eventually have their own rooms. he thinks it is luxurious when kids get a separate room from the adults.

My DH grew up with his whole family in one room period! They had community kitchen/bathroom. :p He moved to the US when he was 10 or so and had his own room since then. I love hearing about it because it reminds me that we really don't need so much stuff/room to be happy. It motivates me to get rid of stuff!

He thinks our DS has so many toys, but others say how lucky we are to have so few toys when they come over. I'm ready to get rid of some. :)

Our townhouse has been really great so far for 1 kid. My only hesitation with a 2nd is that I'd like my mom to come out and stay with us again for 3mo or so when I go back to work and she'll need her own room for everyone's sanity. I suppose that this theoretical 2nd child can share our room until then.

My sisters and I always shared a room growing up. When my little sister was born, the three of us older sisters were all in one room! It worked fine. I didn't get my own room until both my older sisters were off to college, so somewhere around age 14?

[Asha]

I love hearing about it because it reminds me that we really don't need so much stuff/room to be happy. It motivates me to get rid of stuff!

hmmm...even though he grew up with very little like your dh, he wants to keep EVERYTHING. i get so frustrated bc i'll take stuff out to the curb and when he comes back from work he brings back half of the stuff i put out.

[L'il Bit]

I grew up most of my life in either a 3 bedroom apartment or townhouse. Now my family and I live in a townhouse... I have two children and two cats! :D
So far it has been great, although there are times when I feel like I am growing out of it. I would love a bigger place, but in this market, it seems unaffordable.
My kids are 3 and 3 months, and so far it's just fine. It's the stuff that we're outgrowing. Our place is just over 1300 square feet and has a two car tandem garage. It's also the smallest of the units in my complex. I would like to say that I don't want to have teenagers here, you never know. It's definitely doable though.

[camberne]

I raised my son for the first ten years in a townhouse. I loved my townhouse!! It was big and roomy and had a decent sized yard, but not too big (I was a corner house, so had more yard than most). My son had a friend two doors down and a few other friends in the same area.

However, I'd warn you that you'll still have to deal with home repairs in a townhouse and a condo. We had to do a new gutter, new HVAC, new windows, and other stuff. Our HVAC condensate line got clogged and flooded the living room and we had to replace carpet. It was covered by insurance, but the HVAC repairs weren't; and the insurance didn't cover the entire replacement cost - just what the adjuster thought it was worth. We disagreed!!

[Asha]

However, I'd warn you that you'll still have to deal with home repairs in a townhouse and a condo.

yes, you are right. in a townhouse/condo, you are still responsible for the inside which can get pricey. though, i LOVE not having to maintain a yard. Also, our maint. dues go towards all exterior repairs except for our porches.

[Brady]

Here's a website of a nice development in our area:

www.sewickleycondos.com

There are condos and townhouses.

Those are adorable,and look so spacious! (never mind that I wanted to cry when I saw the price...I live in MA, 'nuff said)

Anyways. My "story" is I currently live in a garden style condo with my young son, 2 cats, and husband. Do I want to stay here? No. Would I raise teenagers here? No way. We bought this place before we were married, it was perfect for us as young professionals that wanted to own property and not deal with outdoor maintenace, etc. When we found out (surprise!) that we were expecting a baby, we were priced out of the SFH market and had to stay put. The only pro right now for us is that I am able to be a SAHM while we live here, and we don't have to shovel:rolleyes: .

So, that said... if we were living in a spacious roomy townhouse/condo, like the link above shows, I don't think I would be so antsy to get out. But, a small 950sq. ft. two bedroom condo, there are def. days where I feel claustrophic. Our computer is in our bedroom, our living room serves as a tv area/playroom... I know it could be worse, but for us, we are def. looking to move out and get more space. In sum- it, for sure, depends on the type of condo/townhouse.

Good Luck.

[bellezzadolce]

DH and I are living in a gated townhouse community but we're buying a house at the end of the summer. Both of us grew up in in traditional southern homes. A little over half of our community have kids and its scary, because they play in the street because we do not have a park for the kids to play in, and that's so not safe IMO. That's one thing to consider.

[camberne]

So, that said... if we were living in a spacious roomy townhouse/condo, like the link above shows, I don't think I would be so antsy to get out. But, a small 950sq. ft. two bedroom condo, there are def. days where I feel claustrophic. Our computer is in our bedroom, our living room serves as a tv area/playroom... I know it could be worse, but for us, we are def. looking to move out and get more space. In sum- it, for sure, depends on the type of condo/townhouse.Very true. My townhouse was 1800 sqft with a 250 sqft covered porch in the back and a full attic for storage. Honestly, it had more storage space than our current house which is 2216 sqft - I miss my closet and cabinet space!!

[Asha]

yes, the layout of our townhouse is kinda like the ones with the link above minus all the fancy perks - wine and cheese parties, clubhouse, jacuzzi bath...

[pullbuoy]

I think the layout matters much more than the space. My SIL and BIL are trying to sell their 2000 sq ft condo because they and their baby have run out of space- and they really have. The master bedroom and master bath take up over a third of that square footage, and then there's almost 400 wasted square feet in landings and area off the up stairs, plus the living room is too long and narrow, so you can't hang out in "clusters" if anybody comes over easily. A lot of mid 90's developments seemed to make this mistake, but I think if you found one like SiValley has- 3 floors, with a cluster of bedrooms on one floor (especially if they are small so you get more common family space), you'd be fine. Then your teens could go sulk in their rooms and pretend to do homework while you watched TV at nights, and you'd have just as much space as a SFH, in reality. Each kid really only needs 10x10 or so, with a door on it, and voila! Privacy. I doubt you'd need a playroom so much when the kids are older- they can just play in each other's rooms.

[pewee9196]

I did not read the thread but my parents town house was quite large. I think it depends where you live and what you are used to.

[PLNUBRIDE]

I agree with the posters here that say it is not the fact that it is a TH verse a SFH...it is the square footage/lay-out that matters. We just bought a 1600 sq ft condo 5 months ago (3 units in one building). I had my heart set on a SFH...but after seeing what a 1600-1900 sq ft SFH home looked liked around here...the condo seemed like a WAY better way to go for us. We have 3 bed/ 2.5 bath, seperate living and dining, laundry room, 2 car garage and a small backyard...just big enough for a little toddler to run around (verses the street). I am 13 weeks pregnant right now and I sure hope that the space will work...which I think it will. Again, I just don't think a SFH (in the smaller sq footage range) is all it is cracked up to be, at least not in our area.

It is just kind of funny to think about..familes years ago (like 30-40-50 yrs ago) had bigger families and smallers homes. Now, our families are smaller, but we have bigger homes. Example...my dad was one of 7 kids and they lived in a 1400 sq foot house. I grew up with just one sibling and the average house we lived in was 2000-2500 sq ft...kind of interesting to think about.

Just FYI...my DH grew up in a 925 sq ft home (2 bed/1bath) with his parents and brother (which they shared a room).

[linda_loo]

I am learning a bunch from reading everyone's replies.

I wasn't thinking a whole lot about size as an issue. Our current home is a suburban 3 bedroom, a condo or a townhome will mean we will lose storage space. But, I see that as a way to force us to continually tame our clutter. :)

I am more concerned about room to move for the children. The places in the suburbs aren't like growing up in a city apartment building, where a playground might be a couple blocks away. Like, for dh, there was one right outside the back entrance of his parent's building. It seems like the newer constructions (of the type of place that we are looking at) in our area, are aimed at people who aren't raising children. There are often pools, but the other community facilities are exercise rooms and meeting rooms. Not playgrounds, and as most are gated communities in an area that isn't connected by sidewalks to anything, it's not like kids can just walk to some place to play, kwim? Like what bellezzadolce mentioned, the kids end up playing in the streets.

I don't know... we still have a lot of thinking to do. Our kids are not babies anymore, but they aren't fully "kids" yet, and into their own activities. I don't know how much a nearby play-space will even mean to us in future years, if we spend much of our time on the run to other activities.

In any case, thanks for all the replies, it's nice to see such a wide variety of opinions and viewpoints.

[amorey]

It seems like the newer constructions (of the type of place that we are looking at) in our area, are aimed at people who aren't raising children. There are often pools, but the other community facilities are exercise rooms and meeting rooms. Not playgrounds, and as most are gated communities in an area that isn't connected by sidewalks to anything, it's not like kids can just walk to some place to play, kwim? Like what bellezzadolce mentioned, the kids end up playing in the streets.


DH and I went looking at some new construction townhomes this past weekend. The salespeople would ask us if we were first time buyers, and when we said no, they asked us if we were down sizing. :confused: Is it common for people in their mid-twenties to downsize to a 2,000sf townhome? When we said we were looking to move into something bigger and start a family, they looked at us like we had two heads.

Are there any older townhome developments in your area? In my research I’m finding that the older developments seem to be more family friendly with basement rec rooms and more green spaces. This one (http://www.edinarealty.com/Consumer/Listing/ListingDetail.aspx?Search=&Listing=10161251) and this one (http://www.edinarealty.com/Consumer/Listing/ListingDetail.aspx?Search=&Listing=9431682) seem really nice. They were built in the late 60s. All of the newer ones seem like they're designed to squeeze the most townhomes in the smallest amount of space.

[Asha]

DH and I went looking at some new construction townhomes this past weekend. The salespeople would ask us if we were first time buyers, and when we said no, they asked us if we were down sizing. Is it common for people in their mid-twenties to downsize to a 2,000sf townhome? When we said we were looking to move into something bigger and start a family, they looked at us like we had two heads.

i have been to other areas of the u.s. where it is often looked down upon if you have a townhome vs a regular home. it doesn't make sense to me, but that's just the way it is.

[jesseybell]

We live in a 90-unit townhouse development in Suburban Boston and there are not a ton of kids here - or should I say school age kids. There is a playground, a pool and a rec room which is used, but when I drive by when people are waiting for the bus, there are only 3-4 for elementary school and 1-2 for junior high/high school.

Right now, unless our finances change, I can see us being here until our kids get to school age. But I will be constantly worrying if they are outside running around and screaming, because while it isn't against the rules, I know the neighbors won't be real happy. Luckily we live on the end, so if neighbors can hear inside noise, then it will only be one neighbor.

My cousins grew up in an apartment in NYC and they couldn't run around a lot because they had to worry about the neighbors downstairs.

I think living in a city is different because you really don't have a choice about living with people above, below and on either side, so people have to be more tolerant. Where we live, while we'll feel bad if people can hear the baby crying, it is people's choice to live in community living and noise is unfortunately something that comes with the package.

[Asha]

Right now, unless our finances change, I can see us being here until our kids get to school age. But I will be constantly worrying if they are outside running around and screaming, because while it isn't against the rules, I know the neighbors won't be real happy. Luckily we live on the end, so if neighbors can hear inside noise, then it will only be one neighbor.

we have kids in our complex, and i can hear them playing outside, but it doesn't bother me in the least. i suppose it would bother me if it were in the middle of the night or early in the morning, but during the day i expect there to be noise outside. of course, i live in nyc, so it is never quiet here.