Ferber or Weisbluth?

[Candy]

If you ST'd, who's method did you use? How did it work out for you?

Also, I have a question. We are attempting to Ferberize DD. We are having major sleep issues. If she cries for an hour, we take her out, than nurse her down. Today though she woke up after 5 minutes and she than cried another hour. (This was so hard on us.) Anyway, how much is too much? Do we got for a round 3?

I want to get one of their books, but I'm not sure which one I should get.

[emschwar]

Were you ferberizing for a nap or bedtime? Honestly, she might be a little young. Most experts don't recommend STing until 6 months.

We used a combo of ferber and weisbluth. I liked weisbluth for his sleep theory, but ferber for his st-ing methods.

Were you going in to soothe after a few minutes? That's the key with ferber. Also, you're not supposed to nurse her to sleep after an hour. If you don't have either book, I'd recommend getting one before you try STing. You could get both, read them a little and return whichever you don't like.

[seattleguamgirl]

Hey Candy (it's islandbride from WC),

We use Weissbluth and it has worked wonders. Roman is now STTN and takes three solid naps a day! He also never CIO for more than 20 minutes. I *heart* Weissbluth!

[Franni]

We did Weissbluth and it worked well. She cried 47 minutes the first night, 32 the second and not much after that.

However the one problem I have with the CIO methods, is that if anything happens (sickness, travel, etc) to change their schedule significantly, you'll have to start training from the start.

DD got sick and was sick for the last 2 weeks. We had to do the same ST when she felt better. She cried for 55 minutes the first night and now cries about 5 minutes and then drifts off the sleep.

[dziner]

I am a huge Weissbluth fan, but to be fair, I've never read Ferber. However, Weissbluth doesn't specifically advise how to ST your child. He gives you options based on your comfort level and how your child will respond...CIO, graduated extinction (like Ferber's 5-10-15 method), going in to soothe, etc. He doesn't really dictate HOW you do it; his book is more about how getting your timing right can make ST go smoother for everyone. His guidelines about how long a child should be awake and what bedtime is suitable has made a world of difference for our family b/c you put the child down to sleep during the right window.

We tried CIO a few times, as Weissbluth feels that is the only lasting method for post-colic kids (which she is), but definitely found that graduated extinction worked much better for all of us. She needed to know we stood firm about her going to sleep but that we weren't leaving her by herself. We felt better being able to tell her those things instead of hearing her cry for hours on end. For my DD, that worked better than any CIO attempts we made, and though it took a while to get her STTN, she learned to go to sleep on her own much sooner than that and she has been a great sleeper (albeit early riser :rolleyes: ) for quite a long time now. Good luck!!!

[mama2a&g]

.....

[Candy]

Well we are not necessarily doing a method, but we are letting DD CIO. We had no choice. Out of the blue she started having major sleep issues. I'd nurse her down as always, than as soon as her head hit the mattress, she'd wake up.

This went on for days; almost a week. We've already noticed a huge difference in her. Normally she cried 30-45 minutes. Tonight only 8 minutes! When I typed this post though, she was refusing a nap and cried an hour, than another hour, and still wouldn't sleep.

Although I have not read any sleep books yet, I did do a lot of research online about the diifferent STing methods.

Thanks guys for your replies!

[Phen]

Weissbluth all the way, bayyyybeeeeeee.

~ phen

[karilynne_97]

Hi~my dd is 4 months old and although she has no trouble sleeping through the night, we need to start teaching her to fall asleep on her own, and not when she's eatting. Would you ladies recommend one of these methods?

I'm not comfortable with CIO, but I have a feeling that dd is hard headed and we might have to go this route. I have "No Cry Sleep Solution" but this book seems to be more for parents who's children are routinly night waking, where dd will wake up maybe once a night. I guess what I'm rambling on about is she needs to learn to fall asleep on her own (self soothe). Oh, and we still swaddle, but I'm pretty sure she's ready to throw that out the window; she kicks out of her swaddle almost every night. :p

Thanks in advance!!

[mamax2]

I've read Weissbluth, Pantley and now West. I tried them in this order: no cry sleep solution, Weissbluth then Ferber - both of which failed miserably for our DD the crying never lessened and she was crabbier and clingier with each passing day. We stuck w/each for many weeks/months, but it just didn't work.

Now we're doing 'The Sleep Lady Shuffle' in Kim West's book 'Good Night, Sleep Tight' and I LOVE it!!! It's not a 'no cry' method, but it's a 'low cry' method, IME. In fact, our DD doesn't even make a peep when I lay her down now - it's awsome! This method is more sensitive than the CIO methods and I really feel comfortable with it - for both a toddler (like I have) and a baby. However, that said I wouldn't attempt STing a 5 month old because NONE of the books I've read really recommend STing babies under 6 months. You may just work on establising good sleep routines now before you really jump into STing.

eta: Kari ~ The West book I mentioned is perfect for you - I think you might see some really good results and you won't have to do anything you're not comfortable with (like CIO).

[AMC]

Another Weissbluth follower all the way.

[jki]

Weissbluth. Definitely. We followed it since the day we got home from the hospital.... we tried CIO, couldn't hack it and just gradually reduced the amount of soothing before sleep - DS follows the sleep patterns Weissbluth discusses in his book perfectly. DS has been STTN and taking two or three VERY solid naps per day since he was 4 months old.

[jeggink]

mamax2 Could you please describe what you did? CIO hasn't worked for us either and i would like to know more about the book you described.

Thanks!!

[marchfamily]

Weissbluth - although DD still does not STTN (6.5 months).

[mamax2]

jeggink ~ The 'Good Night, Sleep Tight' book is kind of a combination of getting your child to learn to self soothe and fall asleep on their own, but at the same time, not leaving them to CIO alone. The book, of course, contains info. on sleep patterns, developing routines, etc.

The 'Sleep Lady Shuffle' is essentially, a phased plan in which you progressively work yourself out of the child's room. It's similar to the 'no cry sleep solution', except that in NCSS, if your child fusses, you do whatever is necessary to comfort them. In GNST, you soothe them through the fussing, but you *try* to do so w/as little interaction and/or contact as possible.

There are chapters in the book for different ages, but I can tell you what I'm doing based upon the 1.5-2.5 y.o. chapter: the first few nights, I put DD in her crib and just sat down next to her (note: this is basically what we'd been doing for the past 6 months, only hovering over her crib and not sitting down - sitting is much more relaxing for me and DD!). She fussed a bit the first two nights and I had to tell her to lay down, etc., but that was it. You wait until the child falls asleep and then you leave. Repeat for any nightwakings. After 3 nights (or less), you move your chair 1/2 across the child's room. Again, 3 nights later, you move the chair to the doorway. Then, to the hallway (that's where I am now). Then you do what's called 'job checks' - leaving your child's site for 5 min. intervals and returning to check on them until they are asleep. By this point, your child has had 2 weeks of you phasing out of the room, so the idea is that they should be o.k. w/you leaving very briefly but ALWAYS returning. Within a few weeks, you should be able to just say goodnight and that's it. We'll see how it goes. I'm highly motivated as baby #2 is coming in December and I want/need my DD to be able to handle falling asleep on her own in case I need to be w/the newborn.

So far, I'm really impressed w/the success of this method and as I posted before, I've tried many. I did like some aspects of the other books, but this one just felt like it 'fit' - esp. since I'm dealing w/a toddler, kwim? You can order the book at sleeplady.com or Amazon (cheaper).