If you nursed your baby to sleep...

[LeslieR]

How and when were you able to get DC to sleep by other methods??? And please share what other methods you tried if you don't mind!

Background: I can *only* get DS to sleep by nursing. When he was smaller, he would fall for rocking to sleep, but no more. The only other two ways this kid falls asleep are in the car or in the stroller. Obviously those options are not going to work at bedtime.:rolleyes: Sometimes I can get him to sleep and in his crib in ten minutes; other times it takes me up to an hour. And I have to do this whole routine of waiting until I know he's *really* asleep, gently picking him up off the Boppy, plying myself out of the rocker, and slowly putting/rolling him in his crib-all so that he doesn't wake up because if he does, I have to start the process all over again.:rolleyes: It's getting really old. And now this week it has stopped working in the middle of the night. He will nurse and doze off, but then he wakes up before I know he's fully out and then he will not go back to sleep for anything-we're talking wide awake, singing, the works. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like he needs to learn how to fall asleep on his own and that by nursing him to sleep I am preventing him from doing that, but it's the only way I can get him to sleep and I don't know what else to do.:( Anyone have any advice, recommendations, sympathy? lol

[Allegra]

no advice I'm afraid - just empathy! My DD is 13 months old and HATES going to sleep or being put down after nursin to sleep. You're not the only one out there!

Allegra

[daisysue62]

Have you tried gently pulling him off your breast when it seems like he's done and possibly just comfort sucking? I've been doing that for awhile to try to disassociate nursing with sleeping. So far it's kind of working. I empathize with you though :)

[happy1nuv]

tons of empathy. for a while, i was just swapping boob for pacifier and that kind of worked, but comes with its own issues. one thing i do i play the same cd, nap or nighttime and he seems to associate that with sleep ... 4 months later...(but i still do the nurse/rock/etc thing too)

[LeslieR]

Well, misery loves company I guess. lol

[bluebunny]

My 14-month old just started falling asleep without nursing. :) He likes for you to sit/lay next to him. No suggestions other than trying the "pop-off" approach when it looks like he's falling asleep.

[vancouvergirl]

a calming bedtime routine ending with RUBBING HIS BACK. good luck.

[L-O-V-E]

Hi Leslie! I used to nurse Ethan to sleep to up until he was 3 1/2 months old. Then I read the Baby Whisperer and started following some of her techniques. She talks about staying with your baby when they are falling asleep, and shushing them and patting their back. She also has a Pick Up Put Down method where if they start crying hard, you pick them up to quiet them and then put them right back down and start the process over again of shushing and patting. I never did the Pick Up Put Down part because I found it was too stimulating for him. I would let him cry for about 3 minutes though and then start the shushing/patting again while he was still in the crib. I would never let him cry it out, but I wouldn't pick him up either. I would comfort him while he was lying down. I would put the bar down all the way and bend over and literally lay my head down next to his and shush and rub his back (he sleeps on his stomach). Eventually it got where he needed less and less assitance, and I'd just have to place my hand on his head. Now he does it on his own like a champ. I'd say it took about 6 weeks of doing this at bedtime & naptime before we got to the point where I could give him a kiss, lay him down, give him his paci, and walk out and he'd be out on his own in a few without crying at all.

I think its a really good book to read because I never wanted to just let him cry and not comfort him, but I also wanted to get to the point where we are at.

Good luck!!!! Let me know if you have more questions!
Lori

[LeslieR]

Lori, Val suggested the Baby Whisperer's method, too-I know it worked for her. It seems like a lot of work, though.:o I have her book and read some of it. After Val recommended her method to me, I went back to the book, but could never find where she talks about the Pick Up Put Down method. Do you know what chapter that is? TIA!

[L-O-V-E]

Leslie - I'll go look up the PUPD pages in a minute. But I came back here to post also that I liked the EASY routine that is suggested in the book. Its not a schedule at all so it is flexible for your baby. EASY - Eat, Activity, Sleep, You. So the baby learns to eat when they wake up rather than before they go to sleep. We are on a 3 hour routine now, so Ethan is up for 2 hours at a time ,and then takes an hour nap (actually, its a 2 hour nap in the morning, and then 2 more 40-60 minute naps in the afternoon). I do fit in one more feeding about a half hour before bedtime, which gives us about 10-15 minutes after he is done before he goes to sleep.

I'll be back in a bit with that page info...

[L-O-V-E]

Found It....

I know there are several books by this author. I have "The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems" for Sleeping, Feeding and Behavior.
The Pick Up Put Down Method is Chapter 6 - and she recommends it once the baby is 4 months to a year.

Good Luck. Let me know if you have any questions!

[BooeyJ2]

Sounds weird, but holding her or laying next to her while taking very deep breaths work for us. Something about me breathing very slowly calms her down. Currently we co-sleep (she slept in her room in her crib from months 2 to 9 months, but she got really sick and slept with us for a while.....and now we love it because we both work full time, so any extra time spent with her is awesome). Anyhoo, back to my post... try the deep breathing thing or perhaps a CD with lullabies?

[LeslieR]

Lori, thank you so much! Now I know why I could never find it-I have a different book! I didn't know she had more than one and I got The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. Off to go see if I can find that one used on amazon!

Booey, he probably would fall asleep if I lay down next to him, but then he would want to nurse. We currently take a 2-3 hour nap together every morning, but, again, it involves nursing to sleep. I've tried the lullabies, too. No dice. I guess he knows what he likes.:rolleyes:

[Marisa]

Well, IMO it might be too early to worry about nursing to sleep being a bad habit. I tend to think that you do whatever works to get through the first year. :) But I realize that not everyone shares that perspective. :)

After my son was about a year old, we began to be able to put him down to sleep without nursing. He likes to hear stories or songs, and we still lay with him until he's sleeping. He's now in a toddler bed in our room, so I will actually put him in his bed and then lay in my bed with the tv on softly, and he'll chatter away for a few minutes until he falls asleep.

But I don't really think a change in our routine would have worked too well before he was starting to become verbal. It was much easier to wait until you could almost explain things to him ("it's nighttime, it's sleepytime, let's talk about what happened today...")

Anyway, that's what worked for us. :) I also read parts of the No Cry Sleep Solution, she has good, gentle routines that you can try to move away from nursing to sleep. I was never motivated enough to give it a shot, but I've heard good things about how it works. :)


I don't know much about the Baby Whisperer, but I do know that she had some of the worst breastfeeding advice ever. I don't know why she thought she was an expert. So I'd be aware of that in any writing she does about nursing to sleep.

[LeslieR]

I don't know much about the Baby Whisperer, but I do know that she had some of the worst breastfeeding advice ever.

Marisa, ICAM. I liked some of the things she had to say and disliked others, which included the topic of bf'ing.

But I don't really think a change in our routine would have worked too well before he was starting to become verbal. It was much easier to wait until you could almost explain things to him ("it's nighttime, it's sleepytime, let's talk about what happened today...")


This makes a lot of sense to me and is something I struggle with a lot when I think about changing our routine. I mean, there's no reasoning with a 5 month old. BUT, I know when he's older he will better understand (like you said). ugh. This is so frustrating.

FWIW, I don't necessarily have a problem with nursing DS to sleep. As a clueless first time parent, I never had a plan on how to get him to sleep and it just so happens that this is the way things worked out for us. Since I didn't know what else to do, I stuck with it. I do really like that I can get the feedings in at the same time as putting him to sleep. It may be selfish, but it's convenient for me.:p The problem is that it sometimes takes a long time to get him to sleep especially when I try to put him down and he wakes up because he's not all the way asleep yet and I havee to start the routine all over again. And now this new night time nonsense of not going back to sleep at night after nursing! This is what's really putting me over the edge BECAUSE I don't know how else to get him to sleep and when that doesn't work, I feel helpless, KWIM? And this is where my fear/feeling that he needs to learn how to fall asleep on his own comes in to play.

Why does this have to be so difficult?:(

[Marisa]

Yes, I can sympathize. One of the most frustrating things about parenting, even for a 'go-with-the-flow' kind of parent like myself, is the fact that what worked last week may not work this week... or if it does work this week, it almost certainly won't work next week. Just when you think there's a good solution to the issue at hand ('nurse baby to sleep, easy for mom, extra calories for baby') -- he goes and enters a highly-focused brain development period where he's like, "Oh wait, don't put me down, I'm thinking about something that I remember from earlier today, and the shock of actually remembering something is jarring me from a deep sleep!" Or something like that. :)

I think 4-6m is a tricky time for a lot of moms, at least that's what I've been hearing. I can't see why not, I mean along with the rapid brain development he's also learning all kinds of physical tricks. I remember having the 'midnight baby jamboree' with Joey, where he'd awaken at 1 or 2 AM and need to play - NEED to play - before he'd settle back down again. Just like, he learned some important thing that day and had to practice it one last time. :)

[lady1297]

Well, we still nurse to sleep at 16 months if it's me putting him down. DH is very successfull just swinging him in his arms. I can't get close to doing that without pulling hte ole boob out. I do know he falls asleep better if I pretend to sleep too, slow down the rocking, deep breath, close my eyes and ignore his prodding. He gives up and goes right to sleep while nursing when I do this.

[adoredh]

I'm just following along to see if I can get any tips for my little guy. I really like the idea of Eat, awake , sleep - BUT - my little guy nurses, has awake and play time, eats again and might go to sleep. Collin nurses several times in the two to three hours he's awake between naps...

[Marisa]

See, that's why I can't get behind the Baby Whisperer, though I know her schedules work for some. Breastfed babies aren't always that easy to pin down as far as when they want to eat, KWIM?

-- and for a 2-3 month old, I'd be surprised if they *didn't* want to eat at least twice, maybe more, in a 2-3 hour block.

[Mrs. M.]

When I felt DD and I were ready to wean off of the nursing-to-sleep, I had only DH put her to bed for about 2 weeks while I stayed away. They got a routine going of pjs, book, light out, singing, etc... She got used to it and later I could put her down as well without her wanting to nurse. She was older though, maybe 10 months.

[Cosmogirl]

Leslie
I have the same BW's edition as you do. I'll try to find where I got the info from, but I know I got it from there. Again, I didn't like the entire content of this book, but for some things, it really did help me. One thing you need to know though is that the faster way is through CIO. IMO it is the hardest too...and I don't think it works for every baby. All the other techniques needs patience and work.

Adoredh Mine is similar. I tried the wake-eat-play-sleep thing, but most of the time, he needs to nurse again before going to bed. And he really IS still hungry. I,ll try to apply this when DS will be older I guess.

Marisa what other nursing information do you think is bad in BW?

Lori Hey girl glad to see you around again!
I was wondering, when you did the technique you used, weren't you scared that he would not learn o sooth by himself? That he would need you to soothe? Did you leave the room as soon as he was calm, or did you stay there until he fell asleep?

[Marisa]

Cosmo -- her whole chapter on feeding methods is pretty aggravating. I don't have the book here anymore, but IIRC she spent a lot of time talking about why breast or formula is pretty much the same, she acknowledged that the formula companies put out a lot of propaganda but said that breastfeeding organizations do the same (the main difference, of course, is that formula companies profit when people buy formula! Breastfeeding support groups are non-profit!)

Her scheduling, as I said in a previous post, also does not work for every baby. While it's not as rigid as some 'experts', it still can tend to make a breastfeeding mom feel like she's doing something wrong when her baby doesn't respond to the eat-sleep-play, etc. schedule that the BW suggests. Some breastfed babies really dig it! -- but others will want to eat more frequently, and that's normal too. It's important for mom's milk supply to follow baby's cues for the first few months, and not try to impose schedules at all.

There's more, but my DH is having trouble putting Joey to bed so I think I might have to nurse my 23-month-old to sleep now. ;)

[LeslieR]

lmao! Too funny, Marisa!

Val, if you could give me the page numbers that would be so wonderful!:D

I'm avoiding talking/thinking about this anymore for the rest of the night because I am so stressed out about it.:( It took me 45 minutes to get him to sleep tonight because he woke up two different times when I tried to get up to put him in the crib. On the third time, his eyes popped open, but I put him in the crib anyway and patted him until he closed his eyes. I went downstairs to finish making dinner and the next thing I knew he was fussing on the monitor to which I let him go until he was really crying (about 15 minutes). Back upstairs I went for another half hour of trying to get him to sleep.:rolleyes: DH is on board with the Baby Whisperer's method that I described to him, but I need to read it in detail first before I decide what to do. He was pretty funny actually-he remembered an episode of Nanny 911 or SuperNanny (not sure which) we watched where one of the kids kept getting out of bed at night and the nanny told the parents to keep bringing him back to bed over and over and over again until he stopped. He said that the BW's method sounded like that which cracked me up because I had totally forgotten about that. I don't remember how many times they had to keep bringing the kid to bed but it was A LOT.

Thank you everyone else for your replies. Especially those who are still nursing to sleep! It at least lets me know that what I am doing now is okay and "normal" (when I told DH that other women nurse their babies to sleep, he said "So, it's normal then?" lol). My (tentative) plan is to wean at 12mos and I have no idea how I will function without this great parenting tool (nursing).:(

[prudies]

A word on bad habits. We put our newborn down sleepy and awake, because he went to sleep easily. Good habit, right? Well, eventually that stopped working, and we had to do more rocking and swaddling to get him to sleep. At around a year, we sleep trained, and since then he sleeps beautifully at night. Only at some point, falling asleep for naps became very difficult. He has a hard time winding down during the day, and really only falls asleep by nursing.

So, take any advice about good or bad habits with a grain of salt, kwim?

Now, can anyone help me get a 19 month old to stop nursing to sleep? I'm serious! It's just for naps (nighttime is a breeze), but if I pop him off before he's in a deep sleep, he will fully wake up and then refuse to nap. He'll stay up for another 1-2 hours playing and talking to himself in the crib, until I go back in there and nurse him again. So instead I make every effort to be really calm before his nap, and nurse him and rock him to sleep. But it's getting harder and harder. Anyone have any advice? Maybe I should get NCSS for toddlers. But if the advice is to lie down next to him, forget it. He'll just think it's playtime with mommy!

[Koala_Gurl]

DD didn't start to fall asleep on her own until about 6 months, and you know what...she just sort of did it by herself. One day, she never fell asleep nursing, so I laid her down. She cried for a few minutes, but fell asleep.

Since then, she hasn't fallen asleep nursing (well, rare occasions), but I put her down after nursing, still awake. Sometimes she goes right down, other times, she cries for a bit, but never really more than 20 minutes (I don't know the exact number, I turn off the monitor for 20 minutes, so I don't have to hear the crying.) :)

But, point is, DD just kinda did it on her own. :)

[L-O-V-E]

ITA with Marisa about the Baby Whisperer's breastfeeding advice. I basically used the book more for the sleeping techniques, and even those I modified to fit our situation and my son.

Val - Hey girl!! In the beginning, I would stay with DS until he fell asleep, shushing and rubbing his back. Gradually I would stop earlier and earlier in the process just to see how he would react, and I'd leave the room. This is when I got to letting him cry for about 3 minutes (and it wasn't a screaming, it was more of a wimper). It seemed that if I let him cry for just those few minutes, then when I went back in and gave him his pacifier and rubbed/shushed he was out like a light. And then one day when I left the room, he did it himself with no crying.

We are stuggling a bit with this the past few days since DS can roll now on purpose - I'm finding that he rolls to play with his Aquarium that is hanging on the side of the crib, or to look at his mobile, rather than fall asleep. I see there is a new thread about getting mobile babies to sleep, so I'll be keeping an eye on that one...

Leslie - On the flip side of all of this, I really don't think you should view nursing to sleep as something wrong or bad for DS. I can understand wanting to teach him soothing techniques, but try not to stress so much along the way. :)

Lori

[catmom]

I'm still nursing my DD to sleep most of the time, but the "waking up when put down" thing has gotten a LOT better as she's gotten older. Maybe this is because I'm such a klutz, but she pretty much always wakes up a little when I put her down, but then rolls over and goes back to sleep.

A few weeks ago, I used the "sleep lady" technique to get her to go to sleep at night (not for naps, though), and it was very successful, but I don't think it would have been if I had tried it when she was much younger (she was 9 months or so when I did it). We had a lot of backsliding in the past week because she was sick, and I think I'm going to wait a while before I start trying it again.

[LeslieR]

Of course, last night was a picture perfect night.:rolleyes: DS must have known I was talking bad about him again. lol

catmom, what is the "sleep lady" technique???

[mamax2]

DD stopped nursing to sleep at 16 months, which is when she weaned. It actually wasn't that hard since as someone else mentioned she was a little more verbal and she was really ready to end the BFing relationship (it was a very mutual easy-going kind of weaning).

Now, sleep in general w/her has been rough. She's just not a great sleeper. Fights going down, always has, nightwakings, etc. This was all despite starting the No Cry Sleep Solution when she was 4 months old, trying Weisbluth when she was 9-11 months old and then giving up on any sleep training for a year. When she was nearly 2 and very verbal, we used the 'Sleep Lady' (Kim West) method and although it didn't go as quickly as the book suggests, it is the only thing that worked and continues to work.

I spent so much time worrying about developing 'habits', but the truth is that a baby changes and develops so much those first few years that you WILL have to change things up several times and that's o.k.

[Klo.]

Leslie - I just wanted to come in and say "yeah, I've been there!" too. When DS was about 2.5 to 4 months it would take me 3-4 hours every night to get him to sleep for good - but I couldn't complain becuase once he was sleeping he was sleeping ALL night. I would nurse him to sleep (sometime for 45 min to an hour) go to lay him down, and boom, eyes wide open! Repeat cycle several times. I honestly don't know what I did or what happened that he finally got out of that and I could lay him down if he would wake between the chair and his crib. He is almost 7m and I'm still nursing to sleep and I don't really mind. I know how frustrating this is - really, I do. I had several meltdowns. You are doing great. And hey, Congrats on the perfect night - hopefully it continues. and I have no idea how I will function without this great parenting tool (nursing). I've thought this also!! yikes.

[Janey]

Well, it's been over a year since this thread was posted in. I'm hoping that some of you who nursed your babies to sleep will come back and tell us when/how it ended. :)

K is 5 months old nurses to sleep around 9:30pm. We have tried to put her to bed at an earlier nursing, but no dice... she won't stay down any earlier than 9pm. I wish she'd go down earlier, and I wish she'd go to sleep awake. For now I'm just going with the flow, but I'm hoping for an eventual earlier bedtime. If she expects to ever have any siblings, she's going to have to give her father and I a little more alone-time. :p

[miaclear]

me too! Thanks for bumping Janey :D

Aaron will only got to sleep at night when I nurse. Fortunatly it's a fairly quick process. Anywhere from 15 min to 30 min from start to finish and the same goes for the middle of the night feedings. But I'm hoping that one day I can just put him down awake.

[Janey]

The kicker is, I know she can put herself to sleep. She puts herself to sleep in the swing sometimes, and just this morning she put herself to sleep in our bed, laying next to me. She had nursed both breasts, but she was awake afterward. I just sorta closed my eyes, and so did she.

So how the heck do I get her to do this in her crib? I've heard that "put them to bed when drowsy but awake" ... but K doesn't really seem to get drowsy. She just gets fussy. Maybe I just don't know what 'drowsy' looks like.

[Toonces]

I nursed DD to sleep for most naps and bedtime until she was 22 mos old and self weaned (I was PG and apparently my supply tanked). She falls asleep very easily on her own now and started doing that shortly after weaning.

DS is 8 mos old and I nurse him to sleep for some naps/bedtime, but he will fall asleep for DH, too. I usually nurse him down when he's overtired and we've missed that window.

[miaclear]

Janey...I hear ya! DS doesn't need to nurse to sleep for naps and sometimes at night when he wakes we hear him talk himself back to sleep. But for us that initial bedtime DOES NOT happen unless I nurse him to sleep. On the occassion that even nursing to sleep doesn't work for bedtime we let him cry for an hour and then I'll do it again. It's always worked the second time around, never had to go to three times. And the good thing about an hour of crying is that he always seems to sleep through the night when that happens. But CIO to sleep....doesn't seem to work either. A screaming baby for an hour, I'm pretty sure CIO dictates that they'll fall asleep eventually. Haven't seemed to hit that magic number with DS.

Toonces...I'm all for nursing till you're ready to stop but I know I'll be ready to stop well before 22 months ;)

[Marisa]

Janey, mia -- I do remember very vividly what it's like to be where you are right now! But there's a certain amount of patience with the sleep thing, I don't believe in CIO, especially before 6 months, because I think that an infant of that age is still in a place where they need our help. If it's nursing, rocking, swinging, music, whatever. My mom told me over and over again, for the first year or so, you do what you have to to get everyone some rest, you're not "breaking" the baby by helping them along through this tough time. After a year, you'll find that developmentally they're ready to really understand their routines and get used to 'what happens at bedtime' -- and falling asleep on their own will become a part of that.

It sounds so smug of me to say it, now that my 'baby' is a preschooler, but a year is such a short, short time. It seems like forever now, but you WILL get your body back, your time back, your husband back. :) For me personally, it was just 'part of the job' to nurse my baby to sleep while he was still a baby. I miss it sometimes, really. :)

[melody]

It seems like forever now, but you WILL get your body back, your time back, your husband back. For me personally, it was just 'part of the job' to nurse my baby to sleep while he was still a baby. I miss it sometimes, really.

Marisa- this brought a tear to my eye :) I am in that stage right now & I actually really enjoy it too! I find that reading all this about creating "bad habits" makes me worry and second-guess myself. I need to remind myself that I am doing what works best for my babe & for me. Getting my husband back will be nice too though ;)

[Delaney21]

I agree with Marisa - like always! :)

My DS didn't nurse to sleep for the first 5 months of his life, he would instead nurse right after he woke up. Around 5 months, he started fighting sleep so I started laying next to him and nursing him to sleep and we both enjoy it much more. He is now 8 months and I may have created a "bad habit", but most of the things we do are considered "bad habits" and they work for us so it's ok! Sometimes as a mother you need to quit listening to other people/books and do what feels natural to you!

[Toonces]

Toonces...I'm all for nursing till you're ready to stop but I know I'll be ready to stop well before 22 months ;)

LOL! I hear ya'. My initial goal was 3 mos, then 4 weeks (rocky start), then 6 mos, then I just stopped having any kind of goal and went w/ the flow.

Marisa ~ I remember reading that you shared this in a few threads when my DD was a baby:

My mom told me over and over again, for the first year or so, you do what you have to to get everyone some rest, you're not "breaking" the baby by helping them along through this tough time.

I've shared that w/ so many of my friends and followed it for our family as well. It's on my top 3 list of best advice I've ever recd.

[AmyE]

If nursing will get them to fall asleep DO IT DO IT DO IT!! My first nursed to sleep for the first 13 months of his life, then we gave him a bottle. He'd drink the milk, hand us the empty, take his pacifier and roll over asleep. At 27 months he drinks his bottle, brushes his teeth, sleeps after his story. Never a big problem.

DD will also nurse to sleep. Actually, DD just kinda collapses into a heap of sleeping baby at about 6:30, and doesn't really seem to care how she gets there. It's like she has a switch that just turns her "off". I nurse her to sleep because I enjoy it. :)

DS, her twin, fights falling asleep with every.single.molecule of his 7.5month-old-15-lb being. He hates to sleep, and nursing won't get him down unless he's truly exhausted. When we do "trick" him into sleeping, he'll often wake up an hour later seriously mad at us. Which makes bedtime exhausting for everyone. I wish I could nurse him to sleep!!

As the others have said, the first year flies by, enjoy it while you can. And count your blessings if your little darling has a tried and true way of going down for the night!!

[LeslieR]

OP coming back to say that we ended up doing our own version of Ferber on him around 8 mos, IIRC. I just couldn't take it anymore. Not a popular choice by any means, but it worked for us. We started with night sleep and then progressed to day. I still nursed him before putting him to bed, but never asleep. I can't even remember exactly how we did it-I think the first night we went in after 5 minutes, 10, 15, 20. No picking him up and no touching him-just standing at the crib saying "It's okay, Mommy's here. Time to go night night." (repeat) It was very, very hard. At first we stayed until he calmed down, but then he would freak as soon as we left, so then we just started going in and saying our mantra and then leaving. It got to the point where we couldn't even go in there anymore because he would get even more upset when we left than he was before we went in there. DH hated it more than I did because he couldn't stand to hear DS so upset, BUT he wasn't the one struggling to get him to sleep every day. IIRC, it took about 3 days or so and then he would go down like a dream-very, very rarely crying when I put him in the crib. Again, not a popular choice, but it worked for us. Trust me, I (and we) AGONIZED over what to do because I was really at my breaking point. It drove me crazy nursing him to sleep only to have him wake up as soon as I put him in the crib, lather, rinse, repeat. I was literally at my breaking point. In retrospect, the nursing to sleep wasn't my annoyance at all, it was the fact that he would wake up once he was in his crib. If this isn't your problem, then enjoy it while it lasts! They really and truly do grow up so fast! I know the days are long, but the years really fly.:(

We nursed for just shy of 22 months (I never thought we would make it past 6 months, either!) and I was petrified about weaning. Even though I didn't nurse him to sleep anymore, it was still part of his sleep routine. Instead of nursing, we read a book and I sing him a song. The first day was a little rough-I'm sure he was thinking WTF? But, we got through that, too. I still occasionally miss nursing him before bedtime.:( Anyway, I think a lot of these things we as the parents make out to be bigger than they really are because when you're in the thick of it, it's your whole world. Just remember, this too shall pass and soon you will be onto another parenting conundrum!:p

[betsyboop]

Our situation was just like the OP's- she had to be in a DEEP sleep in order for me to put her down otherwise her eyes would pop open when I set her in the crib and we'd have to repeat the process. This could take an hour or 2 of nursing. Then suddenly, she wouldn't go back to sleep in the middle of the night anymore and I wound up sleeping with her on the couch so she could nurse on and off all night. It was horrible. I started a thread here about it actually.

Then we had her 4 month dr visit and I spoke to him about the problem and he suggested the Ferber method. I bought and read the book but I was originally unsure of whether or not I wanted to let her cry to sleep. After reading the book and understanding the logic behind the method, it really seemed like the right call for our situation. I see the OP did too:) The first night was difficult- she cried for 1.5 hours before falling alseep and was basically up all night- I read an entire book that night while waiting for my "visits". But the second night, there was a dramatic improvement and it's gotten better ever since (it's been 2 weeks). She falls asleep within 5-10 min now and STAYS asleep, waking once per night to nurse. Then she goes back to sleep right after that until morning. It's seriously like we have a different, happier baby now. She's finally able to get a decent night's sleep so she's not totally cranky during the day like before.

I just wanted to write in my experience because most of the advise I got in my thread was the old "oh, this will pass and you'll miss your cuddly baby before long" which is true, I guess, but sometimes it's nice to get some actual advise on what to do rather than just wait it out, you know? Plus, for me, I know I couldn't have done the whole staying up all night thing for much longer, especially when the timeframe was so unknown. I needed to do something rather than just wait and see. Anyway, I hope this helps!