Kid's birthday party & "the gift thing"

[booksie]

OK, say I sent out a birthday invite for my 1 year old and said that gifts are ABSOLUTELY NOT NECESSARY and that the child will be just happy to see everyone. When the birthday rolls around, what do I do with the people who DO bring gifts? Not open them at the party because other people will feel bad? But then the people who do bring gifts (some people we don't see very often) won't get to see the gift being opened. Do you think everyone will bring a gift anyway, so if that happens we should just open them at the party??

Invites already went out so I'm stuck in this situation... please tell me what to do. : (

[susie96]

I think everyone will bring a gift anyway. I would. If that's not the case then maybe you could just play it by ear. Either way, don't worry. It will go fine no matter what! :)

[mia's mama]

I'm sure most people will bring gifts anyway...I would never dream of attending a child's party without a gift in tow. That said, we didn't open gifts during DD's first B-day party, and actually none children opened gifts at any of the first B-day parties we have been too. We waited until the majority of the people went home, and opened gifts from the relatives (grandma & grandpa, aunts & uncles) who stuck around after the party. We opend the remainder of her presents over the next week...it was just too overwhelming for her to open them all at once.

Have fun... it's such a great day!

[vancouvergirl]

i agree. at such a young age, there is no need to open gifts at the party. that is more natural once the child begins to anticipate the birthday and appreciates that people brought gifts.

[booksie]

Ooops - sorry - don't know why i wrote 1 year old. She's one now, will be turning two on her birthday. Does that change things?

[dana b]

i think most people will bring a gift anyways. i would absolutely not open any gifts at the party. we opened gifts the day after dd's party at home. i took a picture of dd opening every single gift and sent the pic along with the thank you card.

[dana b]

oh and not one single person asked if dd would be opening gifts, that they wanted to see her open their gift, etc. i was worried that would happen, but it didn't ;)

[BooeyJ2]

After many years of helping my sisters throw b-day parties for my nephews and niece.... we realized that it is MUCH better to open presents AFTER the party when everyone (or practically everyone expect family) is gone. It is total chaos if you try to open them during the party. Not only will you have a zillion kids trying to open all of the presents (therefore not even knowing what is from who because the cards are still in the envelopes and off of the gifts and there are just toys upon toys open.....yeah, good luck figuring who gave what LOL), but you also have the risk of your child giving his/her sincere reaction to the gift (thinks it's dumb, scary, yucky, ect)....which in turn might make the gift giver feel bad.


I also would never show up to a party without a gift...even if asked not to bring one.....so I don't think wording it is even worth the time.

Hope that helps :)

[booksie]

Really?? I thought you had to open presents at the party. I haven't been to many kids parties recently. I'm also afraid that now that my kid is old enough, I'm worried she'll be ASKING to open the presents!

Is it RUDE to open presents at a party? I am so torn between wanting the people to see the gift being opened and not wanting to make people feel uncomfortable. (having everyone else see what you bought, etc.)

I like the idea of taking pictures of the gifts being opened... I never would have thought of that!

[booksie]

The reason I put the wording in there is because some of the guests don't have kids and the others have never invited us to THEIR kids' parties, even though we are good friends. I think the birthday parties are mostly just family around here or school or day care friends (which my daughter doesn't have yet).

So I didn't want it to seem like we were inviting people to get gifts.

[dana b]

i don't think it's rude to open gifts, we decided not to for a lot of the reasons booey mentioned, but mainly b/c it just takes so long and i think the majority of the guests would rather not sit through that esp when the party is kinda short. in your case i think it would be rude to open gifts because of your note on the invite and the slim chance that someone followed it and didn't bring anything, that would be uncomfortable for them.

[Ohana]

We asked people not to bring gifts to DD's first birthday party, and thankfully, most guests obliged us. A couple of people did bring gifts, however, and we never got around to opening them. I didn't even know it was standard protocol to open gifts at a children's birthday party. Luckily, everyone was too busy playing with the kids to notice.

Edited to add that one of our guests thanked us that we didn't open gifts at the party. They had attended a first birthday party just a few weeks prior that was huge, and the birthday boy's mom forced her squirmy toddler to open hundreds of gifts in front of the guests. It took forever because there were so many and because the little boy just wasn't interested.

[lawyerwifemom]

I asked for no gifts for my DD 1st bday party (and have done the same for my DS's party this weekend.) Most people brought a card only, a few brought a small gift like a "Happy Birthday" balloon or an inexpensive paperback type book. A dentist friend brought a toothbrush and toddler toothpaste:D . Nothing given was wrapped so we just thanked the givers as they arrived.

Most kid bday parties I have been to for young kids (4ish and under) the presents were not opened at the party. At five year old child's party recently, the presents were opened but really no one watched because they were all busy eating cake and roughhousing!

[jki]

I asked for no gifts for DS's 1st b-day and only received gifts from VERY close friends. We did not open gifts as it was a short party and the invite specifically stated no gifts. I have never seen gifts opened at a party for a child under 5.

[morningdew]

Since you requested no gifts, I'd NOT open what gifts she does get at the party. Mainly for the sake of people who respected your request, so they don't feel badly that they did so.

[Bloomwood]

This is OT, but I have recently learned that it is common practice in our area to have the invitation read something along the lines of "in lieu of gifts, please make a donation to XXX charity."

I am not sure how I feel about it yet. Is it something that is common where anyone else lives?

[happy1nuv]

When my friends first started having kids, they opened gifts at the party. As the list of friends with kids got bigger, no one opens gifts at the party anymore... its just too chaotic and there are always tears from some child that wants to open someone elses new present and play with it... its just easier not to deal with that and leave the presents in a side room...

[maggieb]

We didn't open gifts at Helena's first or second birthday parties. It's just too much for them at those ages. Now next year when she turns three, I'm sure it will be a different story.;)

[Abby'sMom]

We didn't open gifts at DD's 1st b-day party, and none of her little friends opened gifts at theirs, either.

[SiValleySteph]

Is it possible to have a party with no gifts? I seriously am considering not having birthday parties for my son because we don't need all the toys that come with it. I am cool with books, but we already have toy over load with just family Christmas/birthday presents. I know it's rude to specify gifts. I don't know ... what do you all do about presents?

We've been going to our friends kids's birthdays and just the amount of toys they have is really overwhelming and then we see them getting another 10 or so at a time. We always try to give books or gift certificates instead of toys. It has turned me off to birthday parties.

[maggieb]

Steph: What if you had a book themed party? Maybe an inviatation shaped like a book, with a cute poem on the inside about how much DS loves books and that's why you're having a book themed party? Do you think guests would get the hint? Actually, I really like this idea and am now considering it for DD#2's first birthday!

[Jane&Andy]

I've never been to a party where the gifts weren't opened. BUT I've mostly only been to smaller family parties. I like seeing the child open my gift but I'm sure if there were hundreds of gifts to be opened I'd be relieved not to have to sit through that. For a smaller birthday party I would be disappointed if the gifts went unopened.

I don't think I could go to a child's birthday party empty handed, regardless of what the invitation says but would probably try to stick to something more practical like a book rather than a bulky toy. I often buy my neices and nephews clothes instead of toys but its easy to do that b/c my sisters keep my updated on the kids' sizes and needs.

[Sal03]

Most of the birthday parties we have been to the gifts were not opened. I think that is so much better. It takes so long and little kids do not want to sit still for someone else opening presents. Plus at one of the parties where they did open, the child got three of the same thing and it was really awkward!

[philnikki]

I am all in favor of not opening gifts until the child is old enough to make that decision themselves. Its chaotic and I would rather have the time spent by my dd enjoying her playtime with family over being forced to open presents she is not interested in. I know i am going to deal with this one too in August when DD turns 1, bc at dd's christening MIL was insistent on opening gifts in front of everyone...guess I will need to have a "chat" with her before the party.

Why do things like this have to be so complicated?!?