kcjaime
12-12-2005, 01:53 PM
Cross-Posted in ChitChat
I am trying to give advice to a friend of mine about something she emailed me today. This friend just had her second child in late September. Her other little girl is a little over 2 years old. Her husband works two (low-paying) jobs to help them financially and she is a middle-school teacher. She went back to work earlier than planned because she needed to get her income back.
Her sister is getting married this summer and she is a bridesmaid in that wedding. Her sister is paying half of her dress cost in order to help out. A friend of ours is also getting married this summer, my friend's closest friend. She is also in that wedding. This bride friend of ours picked out pretty expensive bridesmaid dresses, and you can't forget the expense of the shoes, hair, shower gift, etc.
My friend emailed me and is just super stressed about the expense of it all. She is putting off classes she'd previously planned to take this coming semester due to financial reasons. She is two semesters away from getting her Masters in Social Work, and these classes go towards that. Anyway, in light of all this, she is super stressed about how she can afford to be in these weddings. She has been the best friend of our bride friend since elementary school and obviously wants to be in the wedding, and clearly she wants to be in her sister's wedding.
What advice would you give her? I personally think that since our bride friend knows better than anyone this woman's financial situation, she should at the MINIMUM offer to help pay for the BM dress. Personally, if I were the bride to be asking her to be in my wedding knowing her financial circumstances, I would be covering the cost of the entire dress, and maybe more. I wouldn't want to put her in the position of considering saying no just because of the cost. If I truly wanted this friend to be in my wedding, and I knew her situation, I wouldn't burden her with these expenses, or the guilt and embarrassment of having to say no for these reasons.
Any thoughts?
I am trying to give advice to a friend of mine about something she emailed me today. This friend just had her second child in late September. Her other little girl is a little over 2 years old. Her husband works two (low-paying) jobs to help them financially and she is a middle-school teacher. She went back to work earlier than planned because she needed to get her income back.
Her sister is getting married this summer and she is a bridesmaid in that wedding. Her sister is paying half of her dress cost in order to help out. A friend of ours is also getting married this summer, my friend's closest friend. She is also in that wedding. This bride friend of ours picked out pretty expensive bridesmaid dresses, and you can't forget the expense of the shoes, hair, shower gift, etc.
My friend emailed me and is just super stressed about the expense of it all. She is putting off classes she'd previously planned to take this coming semester due to financial reasons. She is two semesters away from getting her Masters in Social Work, and these classes go towards that. Anyway, in light of all this, she is super stressed about how she can afford to be in these weddings. She has been the best friend of our bride friend since elementary school and obviously wants to be in the wedding, and clearly she wants to be in her sister's wedding.
What advice would you give her? I personally think that since our bride friend knows better than anyone this woman's financial situation, she should at the MINIMUM offer to help pay for the BM dress. Personally, if I were the bride to be asking her to be in my wedding knowing her financial circumstances, I would be covering the cost of the entire dress, and maybe more. I wouldn't want to put her in the position of considering saying no just because of the cost. If I truly wanted this friend to be in my wedding, and I knew her situation, I wouldn't burden her with these expenses, or the guilt and embarrassment of having to say no for these reasons.
Any thoughts?