Does anyone work with a boys club?

[Mrs. Alting]

I hate it at my work. We have such a boys club at work and they drive me crazy. It seems as though they have this club and are so fake to the women. There are not very many women at my work. What do I do?

Kristie

[houseblend]

LOL, I thought from your title that you meant a non-profit helping disadvantaged boys. :o

I worked in a similar environment before. All the men would play golf together (women never invited). The five of us women banded together as much as we could. We would have lunches just us now and then, and finally determined that when the men played golf, we would have our own gathering at one of the women's pool.

Unfortunately there's not much you can do to change how the men behave. You can change how you react to it, though. Is there anything in particular they are doing that is driving you batty?

[looch]

I thought the same thing as houseblend!

Anyway, I know what you mean, but short of switching jobs, there isn't much you can do about a boy's network. I would keep a professional demeanor, don't let them see you get upset, and make your own plans for lunch, or invite yourself along one time so you can see what you aren't missing! If that's not possible, go and take a walk or go to the gym at lunch, it will let you work off some steam!

[BTB]

Ooooh, heck yeah. My career field is frat central, and v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y changing. Do your colleagues at least know they're a boys' club? IME the worst is when they think they're not that way, but are.

It's really important to pick your battles. If you blend in and don't make waves the majority of the time, and do awesome work, you are in a good position to successfully stick up for yourself and improve the workplace for women those times when it really, really matters.

[bookworm]

In addition to BTB's advice, I'd seek out a mentor--male or female. A woman would be nice, to find out how she made it up there. On the other hand, if there is no suitable female mentor, seek out a male with a career you admire, or with whom you have something in common (alma mater, maybe?).

The problem with boys clubs is access to opportunity. It's not always deliberate, but people promote those they know. Find a way to get your name into the conversation.

[Mrs. Alting]

Thanks everyone!! There are no women managers at my work. So I have no one to look up to. I never do anything wrong at work I am very pasionate about what I do and work hard. It just that their additudes are sometimes the worst and I just wanted to blow some steam here! They also talk about women to me like I'm one of the guys and sometimes it's fun, but sometimes I want to ring their neck!!!!

[lawyergirl25]

Do your colleagues at least know they're a boys' club? IME the worst is when they think they're not that way, but are.
ITA. And that's all I'm going to say. ;)

[ManteoChik]

I work with one other woman and the rest are men. I wouldn't consider them a "boys club" but it's deffinatly a different breed around here...lol. I actually like working with the guys more than women because they are so much more laid back. I've gotten used to hearing the "man stories" and now I just let it slide off of my back and laugh.

[Ki Ki Marcus]

I worked in a serious boys club for about 3 years. I would be introduced as one of "Stony'e girls" etc, yadda.

Couple of ways I delt with it. First I stood up to them. When introduced as above I would point out I could vote, go to big people's jail and have children. I said it jokenly but then would end wih a blank look on my face to the person who said it.

I started stopping in at office and shooting the shit. When I found out the managers went out on Friday's for drinks, I found a way to be invited. And then slowly, and quietly, started both weasling my way in and challenging the way they looked at the women in the work place.

It worked to some degree. I got more respect than most of the women there, which isn't saying much, and got a promotion that I rallied for.

Eventually, I just left. The glass ceiling I kept bumping against started giving me bruises.