How long do you/did you let baby play independantly?

[LeslieR]

I don't know why I'm having issues with this! We bought DS a new Gymini yesterday and he LOVES it. I seriously think he would play on it for HOURS if I let him. Similarly, he will lay in his crib for a long time with the SIM mobile on. I can take a shower, get dressed, put away his laundry, etc. and he will just lay there and "play" happily. I know it's important for him to learn to play independantly, but for how long? Like right now, he's on the gymini-DH is doing the crossword in today's paper and I'm here on the computer. I feel like we're neglecting him.:p I don't understand how the older generation can say that you'll spoil a baby by holding him too much-I mean, I feel so guilty when a long time has gone by that I have not been holding him. Maybe that's just because originally I had a baby that wanted to be held all the time and I got used to that being the norm? Now that he is willing to play by himself, I'm having a hard time adjusting? So, how long do you let baby play for independently?

[newyorkgirl]

LOL. Enjoy it while you can! When my DS first started being really into the Gymini, he could play for hours on end, it seemed. But now, he'll kick things around for maybe half an hour and then want someone to play with him, so he'll start making bored noises. IMO, I don't think you are neglecting him, as long as your intentions are to let him play independently and not to just put him somewhere so you can do your own errands/chores all day long. You might want to keep him in the same room as you in case he needs you or in case he does something camera/videocam-worthy. Our DS started to use his independent play time as time to talk and hear himself vocalize, so we weren't that concerned with leaving him there for a time and we have tons of video footage of him babbling to his Gymini toys.

Usually, there is a reason for me to pick him up within about an hour of putting him down to play, i.e. diaper change, feeding time, finished my task, fussing, etc.

[kindermom]

I felt guilty for the first few weeks that my DD got her mobile. And then I realized, she is enjoying herself and why take that away from her. I usually get about 45-60 minutes of me time while my DD plays with her mobile. I love sitting at the computer, getting work done, and listening to her "talk" to the mobile pictures.

Funny story - last night, I was woken up to the sound of the mobile playing. I had left the remote at the other end of the crib. Our DD wiggled down in her sleep and turned it on. I went in to find her laughing at the mobile in the middle of the night.

So do I feel guilty? Not anymore!:D

[scout]

My ds was like your ds. I kept reading about babies who wanted to be held all of the time and I felt guilty because my ds didn't like to be held--he'd rather be on the floor exploring, playing with the gymnini, etc. I agree with the others who say to enjoy it! If your baby wasn't happy, he'd let you know!

[mia's mama]

Oh yeah...enjoy it while you can! Just wait until your DS can crawl, and then walk! Your free moments will be GONE! If he's happy playing solo for the time being, REJOICE in that! It's important for babies to learn to play independently. Even though DD is 12 months, and into everything ALL the time, she still gets about 30 minutes at a time, twice a day of independent play. We just close the baby gates to our family room/playroom and let her explore. She enjoys it, and so do mom and dad!

[LeslieR]

Phew! Thanks ladies. I feel much better now. I swear it is a constant battle/worry that we are going to mess our kids up, isn't it?:p

[twinnyme]

I totally agree with all the previous posters - enjoy it while you can!! I used to time the gymini - I would be able to do things in 10-minute increments, for sometimes up to 30 minutes. Loved it!!

I also agree to try to teach your DC to play independently for periods of time, starting with small increments and going higher as you/child are more comfortable. I have consciously tried to do that as DD has gotten bigger even when she's protested slightly so that she can learn to play independently.

[Sarah]

I let my baby play alone for maybe 20 mins before I pick her up or sling her.

My 3 year old I will let play alone for an hour or more, if she wants, but I check on her every 15 mins or so and keep a monitor on, in case of emergency.

[Pookie]

Enjoy it! DS (8 1/2 months) crawled around on the floor for about 15 minutes yesterday and that was a first.

[Renrel]

For the most part I agree with the other posters. If baby is happy it is certainly not neglect and you are lucky to have a baby who give you so much free time. It may not last so enjoy it. Don't feel guilty.

The only thing I would add though is that it is important to spend a fair amount of time each day engagining in one on one time with a baby without noisy disctractions around such as tv or older kids. From what I have read this helps with learning speech. Being able to consentrate on an adult who is talking about the world helps babies figure out that the sounds we are making relate to the things baby and we are seeing. They learn to follow our gaze to see what we are looking at when we are talking. Given your sense of guilty over letting baby be by himself I assume this sort of thing is happening in your household but I just wanted to put it out there for balance. It is certainly not necessary that you send all day holding and playing with your baby. I forget what the article or book I read about this subject said but I am thinking the minimum time suggested for this one on one quiet time was 30 minutes a day.

[LeslieR]

I forget what the article or book I read about this subject said but I am thinking the minimum time suggested for this one on one quiet time was 30 minutes a day.


Renrel, thanks for posting this! Definitely makes me feel better. If you can remember the book, I'd be very interested in reading it. TIA!

[skittltoes]

I wish that were my problem. :p

DS doesn't like to do anything unless I'm holding him or right next to him. *sigh*

[LeslieR]

Let, that was us for the longest time. Which is why I think I struggle with how long to let him play by himself. lol I do have to say that we have another playmat that he didn't want anything to do with. I had heard good things about the Gymini, plus I had a coupon for $5 off at Target, so we picked it up last week. Boy do I wish we had bought it sooner as he LOVES it! For Luke, I think it's partially an age thing, too. There was a time when he wouldn't sit in his bouncer to save his life so I quit putting him in it. One day weeks or months later I figured I'd give it a shot and he loved it.:rolleyes: They really are so unpredictable!

[Renrel]

I am not sure but it may have been in the book "Einstien didn't use FlashCards" an interesting book about how baby learn and develope naturally and that they do not need special dvds and flashcard and black and white mobliles and inutero music and specially designed music ect. I have not read the whole book but it is the most recent thing I have read and I have a sense that this info was in there. If I get a chance I will take a look and see if I can find the info in that book. It may have just been one of those quicky articles in a parents magazine, where they condence a 40 page, 6 year study into 2 paragraphs, but I feel like it was more than that when I read it.

[LeslieR]

Ooh, that sounds like an interesting book-might have to check that one out. Thanks for the info!

[cc8]

Leslie (Hi there!! :p ). In the beginning DD would SCREAM bloody murder whenever we put her down anywhere - crib, Papasan, bed, Gymni - all led to cries.

NOW, DD loves to look at her mobile in her crib. She can play in the Gymni for longer (15 min) of time. And I think this is a *good* thing. She still gets held PLENTY by us - but now she is learning to observe and engage in her surroundings. So don't feel bad. Enjoy it! Before you know it, Luke will be crawling and you'll have to chase him around the house :p