what to do when nursing to sleep doesn't work anymore?

[catmom]

I've posted a few times about my nap struggles with my DD (8 months). Lately, things have gotten worse... nursing her to sleep for naps just isn't working very well anymore. Basically, nursing only seems to work if she's really exhausted, and as a result her "awake" intervals between naps keep getting longer and longer, and I keep having to try to nurse her down over and over. I think I have to accept that this just isn't working anymore and start working to get her to fall asleep independently at nap time. I know she *can* fall asleep on her own, because sometimes she wakes up from a nap, looks around, and then goes back to sleep. Unfortunately, there don't seem to be any ideas in the "no-cry sleep solution" book for what to do when nursing to sleep stops working (nothing else works, either). I am planning on starting the "sleep lady" method this weekend (when you put the baby in the crib and sit with them, and then gradually move farther and farther away), but I was hoping someone here might have had some experience with this problem. If so, how did you deal with it? I would like to use a more gradual method than just putting her in the crib for an hour, but I'm out of ideas. My plan is to go ahead and nurse her, and if she falls asleep, great, and if not, she goes into the crib anyway. I'm really scared about trying something new, though. It's like they say, better the devil you know than the devil you don't. What if this actually makes things worse, and she stops napping entirely? Argh!

[vjel]

what time does she typically nap? maybe she's just not tired at that point? I'm a Weissbluth follower. It doesn't sound like you are into CIO, which is totally fine and I'm in no way suggesting to try this.

Anyway, at 8mos. your DD "should" be taking at least 2 naps, maybe 3 (the last one being more of a catnap in the late afternoon/early evening time frame). According to Weissbluth, nap times are typically around 9am and 1pm...I say give or take up to an hour b/c my DD took a LONG time before falling into the 9 and 1 nap schedule (she was more a 8 and 12 napper). I think on average the wakeful period at this age is around 3-4hrs.

I think whatever method you try to get your DD to fall asleep on her own will involve some bit of crying, just prepared for it. It is not easy (whether you're in the room or not). Does she suck her thumb or use a paci? My DD is a big thumb sucker and I think that really helped her to fall asleep on her own...of course breaking that habit will be a problem all its own!

I don't think I really helped :( but I at least wanted to throw the timing of the naps out there to sorta help you.

[newyorkgirl]

What time do you put your DD to sleep at night? Perhaps she's too wired/overtired to nap?

[SarahKatG]

Just wanted to give you some hope! We're currently doing the "chair method" with our 9 month DD and are having success. She has always liked napping, as long as it was on my lap. I let her (since I work at home and it was easier just to let her do it than fight her) until it started affecting her nighttime sleep. I read Weissbluth and took a lot of his ideas into consideration but wanted a gentler approach. So far so good!

We've been doing it about a week now and the thing I would recommend to you if you decide to try the chair method is to have patience. The first two times I sat by her side for two hours before she fell asleep. Then it went down to 45 minutes. Now we range from 10-40 minutes of playing, fussing, and settling before she falls asleep. I also had to take this extra time into consideration and start the nap routine earlier so she doesn't go from tired to overtired in the middle of it. The pay-off has been worth it, though.

Good luck!

[catmom]

Thanks for the replies! Currenly, DD is bapping 3 hrs after she wakes in the am, and about 4 hrs after ger am nap, but what has been happening a lot lately is that it takes me an extra hour or 2 to get her to take the pm nap. Sometimes this happens in the morning as well. I am really sick of nursing her over and over and over to try to get her to fall asleep, and sometimes it takes me 3 or 4 tries. I have tried moving the naps earlier, but she won't go to sleep any earlier than that. She goes to bed at night between 6:00-7:00, it varies a lot depending on how late I got her down for her afternoon nap. I just tried nursing her twice for her afternoon nap, but it didn't work so she's sitting on the floor next to me. I'll try again in 20 minutes or so... she really needs a nap before we head to my parents; for thanksgiving dinner.

I am really start resent nursing her down for naps because it's just so frustrating, it starts to hurt after a while, and sometimes if she doesn't want to nap she'll let me know by biting me when I try to nurse her down. I am so stressed about this that I dread naptime every day because I know it's going to be such a struggle, and I have even considered weaning her as a way to get out of having to nurse her to sleep. I definitely need to try something else, I'm just a big chicken about the whole thing.