Ladies in Waiting, Volume 2 [Archive] - Page 4

artist

04-14-2006, 12:30 PM

New QOTD:

I know a lot of this thread has been devoted to babies, baby gear, pregnancy, etc. Does anyone else think a lot about things like how to raise an adolescent, in particular an adolescent girl in today's world? In other words, how to raise a healthy child in a society saturated with so many negative images and messages to youths, in particular, negative messages to females?

Keep in mind, I've been reading Reviving Ophelia. I also work with adolescent aged kids. My sister has 2 girls, one who is soon approaching adolescence. I was a adolescent girl at the time that book I mentioned was published.

I still have more of the book to read, but so far I am feeling overwhelmed. I worry that if I have daughters, no matter what I do, they still will be so vulnerable to the world. Being a woman, I know I can certainly relate to growing up female and also in a family with no brothers but a sister, 3 nieces, and a mom with 2 sisters and no brothers. I get what that's all about and I know I would do my best to give a daughter very positive ideas about being female and I would try to give her survival skills to be as confident, successful, and healthy as possible. I would certainly have boundaries and rules, but I would try really hard to be an approachable parent so that my daughter would feel okay talking to me. I would be open and frank about sex, drugs, drinking, etc. I would make sure to discuss all of these big issues starting at a young age and in simple enough terms to be understood at a young age.

I don't think sons would be any easier or harder than daughters. The one thing I do know is that if I have daughters, they will probably hate me for awhile in their teen years which will be painful. I am guessing any sons I have will likely be mama's boys. Just like it wouldn't suprise me if any daughter's end up being daddy's little girl. I am a daddy's girl. I would imagine if we had daughters, especially if we had no sons, my DH would try to teach her things like working on cars or going fishing. Kind of like my dad always took me to baseball games and bought me baseball cards. My older sister never got into baseball. My mom didn't either. I was the one who would get all excited about it and enjoy spending time with my dad at a game and learning the names of the players and how the game worked.

If we have sons, I will probably do the same things I said I would do with daughters, though I realize boys and girls are different and have slightly different needs. If we have sons, it will be a foreign thing for me. Like I said, I grew up in a family with mostly women. If we have sons, part of me will feel lost, yet excited about the prospect of trying to figure it all out and hoping to get it right! My DH on the other hand has no sisters and a lot of brothers. Therefore, I bet sons would be easy for him to understand and daughters would be mysterious to him. As a feminist, I think the idea of having sons is cool because it would mean I would have the opportunity to raise a boy to grow into a really wonderful man who treats women with respect.

DH and I probably will have 2 children, so it could be we have one of each gender. That would be interesting too! I can imagine I'd be the type to try really hard to treat them equally, giving my daughters toy trucks and my son toy dolls only to find out that there really are gender differences and some of it is perhaps nature rather than nurture. Well, or I could have gay children which would be fine too.

Anyway, this was a long post, but due to what I've been reading it has me wondering. I worry a lot about how to raise healthy happy kids, but sometimes teens and pre-teens just go through phases or end up with addictions, disorders, trauma, etc. A lot of people have crap happen in their lives and many times they are resilliant and turn out to be okay as adults. I don't know too many people who have had nothing difficult in their childhoods. Even if I have a woman friend who claims to have had a great childhood and was happy and fine as a teen, chances are she is unhappy in some way with her body, thinking she's too fat or something. I think almost all women I know have been on diets. (I am the only woman I know who has yet to ever go on a diet. Not that I can't see flaws in myself, but for some reason I never obsessed over my weight. Then again, I am lucky to be thin, but that doesn't mean I will be lucky enough to be thin for my whole life. Heck, after I have kids I might be fat!)

PookiePrincess

04-14-2006, 02:07 PM

Does anyone else think a lot about things like how to raise an adolescent, in particular an adolescent girl in today's world? In other words, how to raise a healthy child in a society saturated with so many negative images and messages to youths, in particular, negative messages to females?

It really does scare me how things are now and how they'll be in 15 years. The world is a lot crazier than it was when I was growing up, and it wasn't that long ago! I think about adolescence with respect to will I provide my child with a car when he/she turns 16? No. I feel like if my kids can't pay for it, they shouldn't have it. (including cell phones!) Most kids/teenagers feel entitled to have anything they want nowadays and I think that's wrong!

As far as self image and self esteem, I think the most we could do as parents is try to provide our kids with a positive self image and tell them what advertising does to help create a negative self image. I've had some issues with confidence and my body and I've never been overweight a day in my life. I think if it's going to happen, it will, but the more we as parents try to make our kids realize the negative effects society has on us, that might help.

Though, I don't know that I'd be so strict with my kids and trends. I don't know. My SIL is very strict with my niece. She's 9 and they won't let her wear low cut jeans, she can't listen to mainstream music (Christian music only). I think by them being overprotective of her, she's going to go crazy when she's a teenager and she'll feel she has to hide things. I don't see anything wrong with letting my daughter wear some lower cut jeans as long as she doesn't have to wear low cut panties for them or you see butt crack. And I realize some top 40 music isn't appropriate for kids, but if they aren't exposed to some of those things, they're going to be shocked at what's out there and what other kids are allowed to do. Then I just see bad things happening!

I was never really sheltered as a child. I was never really into whatever was trendy at the moment, I've always been relatively practical. I never felt like I was missing out on something or being protected all the time. So I never had any times when I was a teenager or in my college days where I went wild and crazy.

I feel like I've rambled on a bit and not really answered much of the question!

artist

04-14-2006, 02:37 PM

Though, I don't know that I'd be so strict with my kids and trends. I don't know. My SIL is very strict with my niece. She's 9 and they won't let her wear low cut jeans, she can't listen to mainstream music (Christian music only). I think by them being overprotective of her, she's going to go crazy when she's a teenager and she'll feel she has to hide things. I don't see anything wrong with letting my daughter wear some lower cut jeans as long as she doesn't have to wear low cut panties for them or you see butt crack. And I realize some top 40 music isn't appropriate for kids, but if they aren't exposed to some of those things, they're going to be shocked at what's out there and what other kids are allowed to do. Then I just see bad things happening!

I feel the same way as you do. I don't think I'll care what music they listen to, but I might be curious to listen to it out of curiosity for what it is about the music they are drawn to. When I listened to Ani DiFranco in high school, my parents only heard the "F" word and other swear words in the lyrics. They didn't forbid me to listen to her, I just don't think they "got" it. So, I had to explain that it was "angry feminist music" and they need to just listen to the lyrics. I pointed out that sometimes things don't change in society unless a person is angry. For example, Martin Luther King did a lot for Civil Rights, and then he got killed. There was a need for Malcolm X and the black panthers. Maybe some white people felt threated by it, but it doesn't matter because Malcolm X and the black panthers weren't speaking to whites, they were reving up the bases. Totally a tangent...I know! But my point is that sometimes adults here music and don't really bother to find out why young people like it. Sometimes it really is just bad and shallow crap, but other times it's profound interesting stuff that might just be a little shocking for some.

And clothes, yep, I agree. So long as the underwear isn't showing and enough of the body is covered, who cares? It's crucial and normal for teens to figure out their identity, and often that is with appearance. My parents never cared what I wore, if I had make-up, etc. Ironically, many of my peers had purple and blue hair, lots of piercings, and crazy looking clothes. I had convnetional hair, conventional clothes, and just ears pierced. I think the point is, if I did any of that stuff, it wouldn't even be rebellious, so what would be the point? As my mom said, there are so many other things to worry about your kid then how they look or dress! Amen to that!

And to take this all a step further, I will probably go to church with my kids, but when they are older, if they decide to convert to a different religion, try something else, or not even practice religion, I will let them make that choice. My parents never forced religion on me and I think as a result, I am not bitter about it. My parents though they certainly exposed me to religion, always have been open minded people and would have been okay with the idea of me being a different religion. They also would have been okay with the idea of me being gay.

Though, they did have rules about sex, drugs, drinking, being home by certain times, only being able to use the car sometimes, having to call, doing good in school, etc.

I think like all people I certainly had the typical teen angst and hated junior high, but I also think I turned out okay and I attribute a big part of that to my family.

honeygirl

04-14-2006, 10:13 PM

stevesbabygirl - I just got internet (and cable) today after our move, so I missed your tv debut. Can you PM me the link, I'd love to see it!!!

We're getting settled in our new house/climate, etc. This is our last TTA cycle, then it's on to TTC! I can't wait.

artist - Reviving Ophelia is a wonderful book, lots of things to think about. I'd also recommend "Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls". It's a great read and I'd recommend it for all parents (and those working with girls).

Smittenk

04-15-2006, 02:03 AM

Julss05

04-16-2006, 07:16 AM

Happy Easter!
http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c299/julss02/easter.jpg

QOTD-Tough question. My parents were open to me about sex and drugs at an early age which I feel prevented me from getting pregnant as a teen or wanting to do drugs. I plan to do the same with my kids. I don't think sheltering them helps any, kids need to hear honesty about life. I think it's important to respect their privacy especially through the teen years but have a relationship where they know they can talk to you about anything. I think demanding openness about every aspect of a teens life only pushes them farther away. I think if I had a girl I would tell her that just because she is female doesn't mean she can't do something a boy can, that although sometimes it's not this way, genders should treat each other as equals. My mom told me in my pre-teen years that most teenage boys are just trying to get in your pants and although that statment isn't always true or the most graceful thing to say for the most part she was correct! I got dumped a number of times in high school starting from the age of 14 because I wouldn't put out for some guy. Unfortuently a lot of my friends caved in and ended up pregnant before graduating. I would teach my daughter independence but also tell her she can always count on us for love and support no matter what. I see a lot of parents that disown their children because of a mistake they made thinking it will teach their kids a lesson but in turn makes their children hate them and never want to try to rebuild that relationship. I think I would be stricter than my parents with school but not to the point where they feel they've let me down because they couldn't get straight A's. I agree with what others have said, I don't believe things should be given to teens but worked for in some way. What does giving them things without working for it do? My dad always told me to live within your means. I didn't take that advice as a young adult which I'm still paying for now but it's true. Our society has turned into a, "I want it right now whether I can actually afford it or not." I think that mentality literally destroys people's lives and I hope to prevent that from happening to our kids. As far as self image...I would tell them to like themselves for who they are, not try to be something they are not or what they think others want them to be. It wouldn't bother me if they wanted to follow certain trends or listen to whatever kind of music within certain limits. I think regardless setting boundaries is very important. Overall I try not to obsess too much about my future kid's lives because I know there will be things I can't possible control. That's the neat thing about life, you have to just live it and usually don't know where your going until you get there.:)

BlackMagicRose

04-16-2006, 01:40 PM

QOTD I know a lot of this thread has been devoted to babies, baby gear, pregnancy, etc. Does anyone else think a lot about things like how to raise an adolescent, in particular an adolescent girl in today's world? In other words, how to raise a healthy child in a society saturated with so many negative images and messages to youths, in particular, negative messages to females?

A lot of new parents do not think about the older years in a child's development. I have even heard a woman say to me "I loved having babies but I never imagined them any older than 3!" She had five kids and they were out of control! For me, the most exciting part of being a future parent will be watching them grow and become individuals. I can not wait to see what my future babies will be like when the are grown. I am not afraid of the teen years. Of course this is a difficult time but every stage in a child's development has its difficulties. I have a BS in Human Development and Family Studies and have worked with Teens at a Runaway and Homeless shelter. I learned so much from that experience. I think anyone who has a chance to reach out to teens should do so. Itz is very enlightening and helpful.
That said...yes, of course society frightens me. There are so many things about the world I can not change but I do not want to shelter my children. I want them to learn, grow and become strong individuals in it. Plus, I may be an idealist when I say this, but every child changes the world, no matter how small that change may be, it is a change none the less. That is the amazing thing about bringing life inot the world. We can create a life that can change things about the world and tha is amazing. Teens change the world the live in every day.
I will not be a best friend to my children. I will be a parent. There is a difference. Yes, me and my children will have very open discussions about everything, but my job as a parent will be to guide them in the right direction not to hold their hands and be their best bud. Of course teens will hate their parents for a while....but we have to keep them steady or who will???

DelSol

04-16-2006, 04:08 PM

http://hub.col.org/2001/interns2000/att-0059/01-easter.JPG

stevesbabygirl

04-17-2006, 12:48 PM

artist

04-17-2006, 04:21 PM

As far as talking about sex, did anyone else watch Desperate Housewives last night where Lynette won't tell her 8 year old about where babies come from and buys him a puppy to distract him?

I laughed, but it really shocks me that an 8 year old wouldn't understand how all of this works. Then again, my parents tried to be really open and I recall being curious about all this stuff at about age 4 or 5 and my mom did explain it to me in clear terms, without metaphors, without giggling, and without avoiding. I knew where babies came from, how twin babies are twins, what a period was, all at around age 5 or so. She didn't go into great detail at that age, but when I asked her about it, she went ahead and answered my questions. My parents did make a point though to state their whole "no sex before marriage" thing. My older sister also talked to me about these things and said, "At the very least, don't have sex while you're still in high school. You will not be mature enough to handle the emotions." I also was certainly told about contraceptives and my mom emphasized that besides waiting until marriage, she thought it was extremely foolish for a woman NOT to use birth control of some sort, that people should follow Dr. Spock's "don't have a baby until you can't stand not to", and she doubted most people that claimed to "accidentally" get pregnant. (Though, my sister was one who "accidentally" got pregnant with her 3rd kid!)

I think the BEST form of birth control for me was when my sister, BIL, and 3 month old niece (and their cat) had to live in my parents' house for a few months when they moved back to MN from CA! (They had to stay with my parents to save up money, find jobs, and an apartment.) I was a senior in high school. I am the youngest, so never got to really be around babies much until then. Though I love my neice, I saw really how much work a baby is and noticed how my sister and BIL were constantly busy and didn't really have much freedom to go out a whole lot. If my sister did want to go somewhere for more than a certain amount of time without the baby, she'd have to pump milk. As a senior in high school I was at that age where of course sex seemed very appealing, but seeing what a baby involved kept me from having sex for awhile longer and certainly made me much more paranoid about sex once I finally did have sex! So, the best birth control is being around babies when you're in high school!

lawyerlee

04-17-2006, 07:29 PM

QOTD I know a lot of this thread has been devoted to babies, baby gear, pregnancy, etc. Does anyone else think a lot about things like how to raise an adolescent, in particular an adolescent girl in today's world? In other words, how to raise a healthy child in a society saturated with so many negative images and messages to youths, in particular, negative messages to females?

Great topic! I do think it is easy to focus more on babies and toddlers and not give much thought to how you'll parent a pre-teen or teenager.

One thing my parents did that was really helpful, though I hated them for it at the time, was having my mom take me to a class about sexuality with other moms and daughters when I was in middle school. It was actually something offered by my church and conducted by a member who is also a school nurse. It was a couple of months long and full of information. It also really helped open up discussions between my mom and me and allowed me to ask her questions and her to ask me about things in a safe environment.

I think this kind of approach was a big part of the reason that I didn't have sex until I was 19 years old. I just wasn't ready before that, and I didn't let guys pressure me or make me feel stupid for telling them no, though they certainly tried to. You know how some guys can act when they've been rejected. :rolleyes:

I think my parents did an okay job with handling the topics of drinking and drugs. We plan to do some things the same way they did, but other things differently. My parents did a good job of making sure I knew it was okay to call them for a ride if I needed one. However, I don't think they did the greatest job of expressing disapproval for experimentation or explaining that my brother and I needed to be really careful because of our family history of depression and alcoholism. There is alcoholism in Cliff's family, too, so I think it will be imperative that we be open with our kids about this from a young age and explain to them that they cannot take the risks with experimentation that they may see their peers take.

Sunshine

04-18-2006, 09:32 AM

I laughed, but it really shocks me that an 8 year old wouldn't understand how all of this works.
I didnt know how it all worked at 8.....AT ALL. I still remember wondering what the heck happens at that age...and a bit older too.

artist

04-18-2006, 12:00 PM

I didnt know how it all worked at 8.....AT ALL. I still remember wondering what the heck happens at that age...and a bit older too.

What's funny is that I had to give advice to some of my friends about safe sex when I was still a virgin!:)

(Such as, telling my best friend that it actually is better to just use one condom because the "double up" theory makes the condom way more likely to break. Yep, my mom told me that when I was young enough to think sex was gross! She did certainly emphasize the whole concept of waiting and abstience, but she provided me with a lot of knowledge too so that by the time I did decide to have sex, I knew how to protect myself, or in my case, look out for my friends! Oh, and my friend was not in high school anymore when I told her this. She and I were legally adults, so it really shocked me that I had to provide her with this information! And yes, we are required to take health classes in Minneapolis Public Schools...in 5th grade, 7th grade, 9th grade, and 11th grade, so it's not like she didn't get any information from school.)

laurenc

04-18-2006, 08:43 PM

QOTD I know a lot of this thread has been devoted to babies, baby gear, pregnancy, etc. Does anyone else think a lot about things like how to raise an adolescent, in particular an adolescent girl in today's world? In other words, how to raise a healthy child in a society saturated with so many negative images and messages to youths, in particular, negative messages to females?

i think about it all the time. makes me kind of scared to have my first child be a girl!!!

recently one of DH's co-workers said to him that he and his wife kept everything gender-neutral with their daughter, never played up the pink-princesses-unicorns-adn-rainbows thing, and after three weeks of kindergarden, the daughter wanted to play with makeup and "be a princess." who knows, maybe it's a phase, but maybe not... so after hearing that story, i worry that no matter what i do, it won't be enough...

DH and i have talked about this a lot, and we want to try our hardest to reinforce ideas that promote positive messages -- like, present to her strong female role models, buy gender-neutral toys/clothing/decor, get her involved in sports early on, do mother-daughter volunteer work for women in need, etc. and i use a lot of gender-neutral language and am an activist for women's issues myself, so i hope that she'll pick up on my actions and adopt them as her own.

but all this is the tip of the iceberg. adolescents are always at the cusp of technology and culture, and the things we think are problems for girls now might not be the same problems for girls 15 years from now. when i was in high school i never would have thought internet stalking on a site like myspace would be a concern. if i had an adolescent daughter today, i don't think i'd let her near myspace without some supervision. so things can change, and it's up to us to keep up...

honeygirl

04-18-2006, 09:47 PM

Well written laurenc.

BlackMagicRose

04-19-2006, 04:06 PM

Smittenk

04-20-2006, 12:42 AM

Questions of The day! Lets talk names! List your favorites! Are there any names you love but DH doesn't? What names does he like? Are there any names you like but can not use for some reason? What are harder for you to come up with boy names or girl names??

We already have a girl name picked (sorry though, not sharing :p ) so we are having a tough time thinking of boy names. The boy name that we are thinking of starts with hard C sound but then so does our last name so I am not crazy about the flow. I love Will but not crazy about William.

Names that DH likes but I don't - Crispin
Names that I like but DH doesn't - Lev and Liam

I always wanted a boy named Caden but then my brother and SIL named their son Braden last august so now Caden is out.

eli1126

04-20-2006, 06:26 AM

QOTD: Raising Adolescents This is something I think about fairly often. I have a niece who is only 6 yet sometimes I think she's 13 already :eek: I also am concerned with this whole idea that girls have to be "dumb" to be cute or attractive and I wonder how I will empower any child I have, but especially a young girl to buck this trend and place emphasis on becoming a confident young woman who doesn't compromise her values in order to be cool.......a pretty tall order. I plan to be strict on some things, but having an older sister with 2 children I also realize that being too strict can backfire and I need to pick which hills I absolutely believe are worth dying on and which ones I need to let go. DH and I also need to work on our commnication because I think he can be too strict about silly things.

Beth

dpangel33

04-20-2006, 07:58 AM

Questions of The day! Lets talk names! List your favorites! Are there any names you love but DH doesn't? What names does he like? Are there any names you like but can not use for some reason? What are harder for you to come up with boy names or girl names??

I've had names picked out for years :rolleyes:
My favorites are Madison, Allyson, Cameron, Anthony, Alexia, Trenton, and the list goes on, but DH has shot them all down!!

We have two boy names picked out already b/c we're using DH's fathers name Erik Roy and will split it between two boys. I really love the names we have come up with, so now I just have to pray no one in the family names theirs boy anything close.

Girls names have been the worst to pick out, because DH is so difficult. The names that I have always loved he refuses b/c of past relations with people bearing those names :rolleyes: .

If our first child is a girl Im sure she'll be 2 days old still with out a name :o

betsyboop

04-20-2006, 08:07 AM

Hi guys- I just wanted to make my happy announcement that, as of last night, I am no longer a lady in waiting! Since we're keeping the fact that we're TTCing a secret from friends and family (at least for now), you guys are the only people I can tell. I'm so excited!!

raven077

04-20-2006, 08:35 AM

betsyboop, congratulations! :D

SQ2

04-20-2006, 09:04 AM

Congrats, betsy! :D That's so exciting. I'm waiting not so patiently to start TTC... ;)

Janey

04-20-2006, 09:10 AM

Congrats, Betsyboop! How exciting! :D

honeygirl

04-20-2006, 10:58 AM

Congrats Betsyboop, best wishes on TTC! Come back and let us know when you get the BFP!

artist

04-20-2006, 02:41 PM

Questions of The day! Lets talk names! List your favorites! Are there any names you love but DH doesn't? What names does he like? Are there any names you like but can not use for some reason? What are harder for you to come up with boy names or girl names??

Keep in mind that I kept my last name, DH kept his, and we did not combine or hyphenate. (It would sound really stupid to hyphenate our last names!)

To be silly, our pets have a combined last name! (As in, a completely made up new last name that has part my name, part his.) I think it's on their vet records. We've half considered the idea of giving our kids that last name and then maybe taking that name ourselves. Will we do that? I don't know.

Either way, what our kids' names are will sort of depend on what we decide for their last name. My name? His? The combined one?

As for boys names, we both seem drawn to Thomas. Anyone I've ever known named Tom is always a great person! I am a little reluctant though because I've also known at least 3 Tom's who have died, including a young man who I become really great buddies with several years ago. DH likes that name because it's a name that has been used in his family a lot. (Though why, I am not sure.) I think it's only really been used as a middle name though, not a first name. I can't think of any Tom's in our family, so nobody would think we were copying and nobody would get confused.

I recall one day we both agreed the Irish name Seamus (pronounced Shay-mus) was neat. Though, I worry it might be too hard for others to spell and maybe too uncommon in the U.S. that our kid might feel uncomfortable.

I used to think Dylan was a great name (as I am a big Bob Dylan fan), but it's too trendy now in my opinion. I also used to think Paris was a neat name (for either gender) until Paris Hilton came along and ruined that! We contemplated once that Brooklyn might be a cool name, but then I thought maybe that sounds like a stripper name and the whole naming a kid after a city seems a bit too trendy anyhow. Depending on the first name, I thought something like Tobias for a middle name sounded really artsy fartsy and neat, but DH shot that one down in about 2 seconds!

As for girls, I like names like Brooke, Alexis, or Camille. (There are others, but I can't remember now.) I seem really drawn to Celtic names for some reason. I don't know if DH has really gotten real whipped up over any of those choices though. At the same time, he hasn't necessarily shot them down. DH not too long ago mentioned liking the name Jane. It's growing on me. I would worry that maybe it's such a common name, then again, I haven't really heard of a lot of babies being named that. Also, my mom's grandma was named Jane, so that would be cool!

I keep trying to think of really powerful feminist names for middle names, but all there is really is Ophelia, Lillith, Gloria, etc.

So, I guess there are a few different names, but we don't even know what the last name would be! As for combinations of names, again, no idea and it would depend on the last name. I have a feeling when the time comes (as in someday when I am pregnant), it will take us a long time to agree on something! Whatever we decide, I don't think I will ask anybody for feedback and I maybe won't even tell anyone what we decide! People can be so pushy, opinionated, etc. that I really am not interested in feedback. I like the idea of not saying a thing to anybody until the child is born! Also, I kind of like the idea of not deciding for sure until you've had a chance to take a look at the baby!

eli1126

04-20-2006, 03:08 PM

QOTD: Lets talk names! List your favorites! Are there any names you love but DH doesn't? What names does he like? Are there any names you like but can not use for some reason? What are harder for you to come up with boy names or girl names??

I know that we have talked about Liam for a boy, but of all sudden I am seeing it everywhere :( So who knows what will actaully happen when the time comes. For a girl I like Avery or Paige, but DH hasn't said anything positive or negative about them. He's of the idea that when the time comes we will decide, but why fight about it now :p

Beth

betsyboop

04-20-2006, 04:14 PM

Thanks:) I'll be sure to come back (hopefully soon) and let you all know when I get my bfp!

raven077

04-20-2006, 04:49 PM

QOTD: Lets talk names! List your favorites! Are there any names you love but DH doesn't? What names does he like? Are there any names you like but can not use for some reason? What are harder for you to come up with boy names or girl names??

For a girl, I used to love Rhiannon. Was absolutely obsessed with it, but for some reason I guess I grew out of it. But I also like Kaitlyn, Hannah, Olivia and Claire. Though we started calling our future daughter Raven and it's kind of stuck. My only problem with that is that ravens are really my obsession and I'm not sure if I want to project that onto her. But I really wanted her to be Raven Naomi. Naomi after my grandma who was the first person to really support us when we started thinking, years ago, about getting married.

For a boy, I really like Nathan, but DH can't stand it for some reason. Boys names are a lot harder. Hmm.. I also like Eric and Adrian. But again, we also have a name sort of assigned to our future son as well.. We're kind of leaning to Jhonen which is SO unconventional that it's not even in the Baby Name Voyager (http://babynamewizard.com/namevoyager/lnv0105.html). But it just has this certain something that draws both of us.

Heh. If we end up with a Raven and Jhonen, they'll probably hate us for giving them such odd names. :rolleyes:

BlackMagicRose

04-22-2006, 03:11 PM

Great names everyone! I really love the name Raven!

QOTD: Lets talk names! List your favorites! Are there any names you love but DH doesn't? What names does he like? Are there any names you like but can not use for some reason? What are harder for you to come up with boy names or girl names??

Girls favs at the moment are Thora, Evelyn, Milla, Lydia, Vivian, Sophia, Rose, Persephone

Boys favs at the moment are Hayden, Dominic, Dante, Seth, Trenton, Jack

I think it is harder for me to love girls names than boys names and my taste in girl names are always changing. Right now the names that I know that me and FH both really like are Thora and Dante. We really have not discussed any others. I used to love the name Corbin but will not use it because it was the name me and my ex had picked out for our boy. Also, I love the name Carly but I won't use it because a family member recently used it for her daughter. Oh well.

DelSol

04-22-2006, 03:32 PM

QOTD: Lets talk names! List your favorites! Are there any names you love but DH doesn't? What names does he like? Are there any names you like but can not use for some reason? What are harder for you to come up with boy names or girl names??

My favorite girl names are:
Olivia Danielle
Hope Elizabeth

My favorite boy names are
Boy:
Joshua Anthony
Jordan Anthony
Noah Anthony

I just found out that one of DH's cousins name his new baby girl Olivia. I'm pretty bummed out about most likely not being able to name our daughter Olivia. But on the other hand DH may not like that name, I don't discuss names with him because he wouldn't see the point as I am not pregnant.

BerBer

04-22-2006, 08:02 PM

Well I'm new here to the boards...
Me: Karly 25
DH: Scot 29
Married: March 25, 2006!!!!(I know I Know...)
TTC tenative date... November 2006

Questions of The day! Lets talk names! List your favorites! Are there any names you love but DH doesn't? What names does he like? Are there any names you like but can not use for some reason? What are harder for you to come up with boy names or girl names??

It is harder for me to come up with girls names that I really like but, boys names seem to come to me just fine. DH is very indifferent about the naming process... he doesn't have any huge favorites just likes or dislikes my picks. So, I am sorta lucky with that.

My favorite girls name since I was very young that DH strongly dislikes is Scarlett.

Others that we both like are: Bianca, Sophia, Louisa, LeeLee, Vivian

Boys names that we both really like are: Luke, Liam, Roland

BlackMagicRose

04-22-2006, 08:15 PM

YAY Karly! Welcome! I love your choice in names. I really like Scarlett. Maybe you can talk DH into using it as a middle name. We seem to have similar taste in girl names because Vivian and Sophia are on my list too! I love all of your boy name choices. Roland is one of my FH's middles names (full name is Elmar Ulf Roland) and is his father's name! He hates it but I like it ;)

eli1126

04-23-2006, 09:30 AM

Well Ladies, I also have to say that I am no longer a LIW. DH and I decided last night to move on to the "Seeing what Happens" stage of TTC :eek: Exciting, but nerve wracking at the same time!

Beth

DelSol

04-23-2006, 09:52 AM

Congrats Betsyboop & eli1126! Good luck, let us know when you get a BFP. :D

BerBer

04-23-2006, 10:38 AM

Hey Christy, thanks for the big welcome and the heads up about this site... I can tell I am going to be spending a ton of time here now! LOL

I love Scarlett but Scot really really doesn't and he doesn't really not like much so I guess I have to respect that. Thing is he knows a girl named Scarlett and she drives him nuts and she is the type of person with would be like..."oh you named her after me..." blah blah... Sucks but, i will deal I guess. I think Roland is one of my favorites too, it was my Grandfathers name. I think it is and unusual name but not too weird that the kid would be made fun of at school.

OMG... DH caught me looking at maternity clothes last night and is not poking fun at me...

stevesbabygirl

04-23-2006, 10:58 AM

Congrats to our graduates and welcome BerBer :D!

LeslieandPaul

04-23-2006, 04:11 PM

Names:
For a girl I like:
Charlotte Lucia
Lucia Anne
Audrey Leigh
Olivia

For a boy (not sure about middle names-it would be Paul, or one of our dad's names)
Matteo
Antonio
Vincent
Nicholas
Evan

candy corn

04-24-2006, 09:25 AM

[B] I just found out that one of DH's cousins name his new baby girl Olivia. I'm pretty bummed out about most likely not being able to name our daughter Olivia.

for what it's worth, both my brother and I have the exact same first and last names as 2 of our cousins! There are 27 cousins on my dad's side, so I guess they ran out of names by the time we came around :rolleyes: but it wasn't a big deal for either of us, although we were significantly younger than the "original" cousins, and they lived on the opposite coast, so it truly didn't matter... I guess if you plan on raising your kids with your cousin's kids, it could get confusing....

as for names I like.... I think for boys, one will be Thomas (my DH and FIL's name), and I also really like a lot of other traditional boy names (Michael, Joseph, etc) but I'm not sure how DH feels about names yet.... All I know is that he refuses to name his kids either Doctor Huxtable or Kiefer Sutherland... :o

Belm

04-25-2006, 06:39 AM

I've lurked along for a while and have decided to come on out! :D

Me: Brenna 27
DH: Chris 28
Married: April 26, 2003
TTC tenative date: Fall 2007

QOTD: We pretty much agree on most of the name choices. DH loves the name Henerick and I'm not liking that one.

Boy Names:
Logan
Michael
Seamus

Girl Names:
Moria
Regina
Cailin

DelSol

04-25-2006, 09:18 AM

for what it's worth, both my brother and I have the exact same first and last names as 2 of our cousins! There are 27 cousins on my dad's side, so I guess they ran out of names by the time we came around :rolleyes: but it wasn't a big deal for either of us, although we were significantly younger than the "original" cousins, and they lived on the opposite coast, so it truly didn't matter... I guess if you plan on raising your kids with your cousin's kids, it could get confusing....

Thanks Candy Corn ~ don't plan on raising them together, haven't seen DH's cousins since New Year's Eve of 2004. :o

adamseve

04-25-2006, 12:47 PM

Hi everyone - haven't had much time to post here, but have some time today so...

QOTD: Lets talk names! List your favorites! Are there any names you love but DH doesn't? What names does he like? Are there any names you like but can not use for some reason? What are harder for you to come up with boy names or girl names??

We seem to have made our decision with picking girl names but are having difficulty finding boy names that we both like.

Girl Names
Evelyn Grace
Isabella Marie (although Isabella is so trendy now so we are starting to lean away from this name)

Boy Names
Thomas
Nathaniel
Logan

BrownEyedGirl

04-25-2006, 01:00 PM

Man it's been awhile since I've posted in here.

QOTD:
Boys:
Jackson
Cowen (not sure what spelling)
Harrison

Girls:
Ella
Ava
Isabella

I know there are lots more, but those three stick out the most.

stevesbabygirl

04-25-2006, 01:14 PM

QOTD: Lets talk names! List your favorites! Are there any names you love but DH doesn't? What names does he like? Are there any names you like but can not use for some reason? What are harder for you to come up with boy names or girl names??

DH hates pretty much all of my names, and doesn't really have any of his own that he likes. The only name we both like is Avery, but it's gaining popularity, so I'm not so sure about it now. We both like the name Quinn for a girl, but my cousin has a 7 month old baby named Gwen, so I think the names are a little too close. I think it's harder to come up with girl names. I change my mind too much.

Girls
Sabrina
Hayley
Olivia
Tatum
Ryan
Avery

Boys
Lucas
Julian
Wyatt
Ethan
Nathan

SwiftyOWB

04-25-2006, 04:59 PM

We have decided on one name for each sex. We were a bit open about the names so we will not find out the sex of our children. Drum Roll!!

Girl:
Cecilia Jane - My Mom's Confirmation and Middle Name, Cecilia is a great aunt of mine, Jane was part of DH's grandmothers name. They are pretty classic name so people could make her named after anyone. Really she will be named after my Mom.

Boys:
Harrison Jiron - Harrison was my grandmother maiden name and it is my brother middle name. I do not think they (bro and SIL) would use the name because my maiden name also end with "son". We would call him Harry and that would be after my grandfather, husband of the above mentioned grandmother. Jiron is my mother-in-laws maiden name. It is pronounced He-roun.

There are some other family name we like if we had 2 of the same sex. We shall see!!

Boys:
James
Mark
Paul
Nolan

Girls:
Mary/Marian
Virginia

BerBer

04-25-2006, 09:40 PM

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
this is a cross post from my journal

So I was thinking about a few of the reasons that I have such strong feelings about having a baby all of the sudden. The feelings that I'm having are both very pro-TTC with in the next 5 months vs. waiting a year and seeing how we feel about things then. I am basicaly trying to figure out what I REALLY, REALLY want...(gosh sometimes I think I make things way harder than they need to be... )

Okay so what I'm about to say is a very very guilty pleasure that I am sure a of you will understand... (twisting arm)

After being engaged for an entire year and planning the most beautiful wedding ever.... and after I got to obsess about every little teeny tiny issue(re: guest list) like it was a huge,huge,Huge aspect as to whether or not I got out of bed the next morning, and believe me they were worth every second of it, well maybe I need something to plan right now and... well... to be honest, maybe I'm sad to see all that attention go away. I mean could I be addicted to being the center of attention? I love my husband more than life it's self and I wouldn't do anything differently. Could I be afraid to be just married for eternity and not have a plan for something that I can physically plan!??!!... cause I'm sorry and totally serious when I say this... I am a "can do" sorta girl and I can't sit around and just...NOT HAVE A PLAN....ok so, not as helpful... but I think you know what I mean when I say read: Scream secretly to myself. "Now, what am I supposed to do? Well, some people might say why don't you do some home projects?... I just bought all new kitchen and living room furnature, and redecorated both rooms. Then they would say...What about hobbies?.... Well I am currently on the board of a theatre company in Madison where I am producing and acting in an 8 week show this summer. So I am really busy right now.

Ok so,I believe we can agree that I am not wanting a baby so I can have something to plan, even though I would give up all of that for a baby.... Next reason would be that I miss being the center of attention. I just feel ugly saying that but, I must examin all avenues of this issue. sorry I am being so weird about this ... I just make inpulse desisions all the time and I guess I just don't want to make an inpulse choice about bringing a human into the world. I don't know how to gage if I am addicted to the spot light and afraid that nothing cool will every happen to me again...ok so this is sorta true... just a little...although irrational... I know.

So those are some of the "bad" reasons I may be wanting a baby so badly right now. There are plenty of good reasons too. Like I want to be a mommy...I love babies and really want to add a new member to my family. ...

There are also a ton of reasons to be just married and enjoy this newly wed stage we are having right now. I think it would be such a great experience for us both to have this first year to just grow a little together. Plus, it would be cool to still go out when ever and have another New Year's EVE celebration being young, wild and crazy....but, I'm not even sure if that is something I'm interested in anymore anyway....

Well, still not sure what is what with me right now... I think it is safe to say I am a little bit nuts at this point.

Any of you know what I mean???

edited to make sence

laurenc

04-26-2006, 09:58 AM

BerBer -- i won't speak for the other ladies here but i went through the same thing and other friends of mine have gone through the same thing too. it's like... you spend so much time planning, being in the spotlight, and then within 24 hours that's gone. i think the natural thing for many of us is to look at our imaginary "list" and think, "ok, what's next...?" and for many of us, that's a baby. (i'm also an impulsive decision maker -- i bought the first wedding dress i tried on, for example -- so i know what it feels like to understand that the way you do things isn't always the best way, but yet you still can't help doing them!!!)

within a few months of being married, i had the baby bug *bad*. and although at the time i wanted to smack him for it, DH was not ready and steered me away from TTC. i couldn't be more grateful. i have since realized that i am not as ready as i thought i was. i realize why i *really* wanted a baby at that time -- i wanted the attention (especially since right after our wedding, SIL began planning her wedding), i wanted to PLAN PLAN PLAN something, and i wanted an escape from my life (which at the time was very stressful). i wanted to go to BRU and buy cute little outfits, obsess over the merits of a winnie-the-pooh theme versus a butterfly theme, wear maternity clothes. i *thought* i was ready. but i wasn't.

we will be married 3 yeas in june. right after our wedding i thought for sure we'd have a baby by now. but i'm really glad we don't. the time has allowed me to really grow to value our time together and to get some "personal projects" taken care of as well. it hasn't always been easy -- there have been nights where i've cried myself to sleep about the issue. there have been days where i was just plain miserable because all i could think about was what i didnt' have. it's going to be like that from time to time, i think, until i have a baby -- and then i'll probably cry myself to sleep because i can't just go out whenever i want!! :) but anyways, this time has taught me a lot about myself and about my marriage, and i think that knowledge will make us both better parents when the time comes.

as an aside, DH got me a cat for our one-year anniversary -- a "pre baby" gift. if you don't have a pet, i recommend one -- it's been a great intermediate step for us.

good luck. this place has been a huge support for me, and i hope it is for you too.

Janey

04-26-2006, 10:06 AM

laurenc, you always give the most thoughtful, well-written advice! :)

honeygirl

04-26-2006, 11:07 AM

Hi ladies.

Not much going on here. I'm just waiting. Waiting to O, waiting for DH to come back from his trip, waiting for a new job, waiting for DH to decide if we're TTC (supposed to start this month). Waiting. Surprisingly I'm okay with waiting. Maybe it is a good idea to settle-in after our big move before moving on to TTC. I know that God has a plan for us, so I'm trying not to stress.

Thanks for the support.
-Anne

x-posted in maybe mammas 2006

BerBer - I second the recommendation to get a pet. We got a dog about a year ago and it has been great practice for some parenting themes. I'm also a planner by the way and I struggle with being satisfied with my current situation instead of always looking to plan the next thing. Every part of the journey is valuable, and I want to enjoy the ride. However, that is easier said than done when one has the baby bug!

dpangel33

04-26-2006, 11:37 AM

Berber you are definitely not alone!!

I have to admit that here even 6 months after the wedding I feel weird not being stressed out. I no longer have something that must be researched or taken care of and it feels weird. On the other hand I have enjoyed not having the stress and able to have a social life and enjoy time with my DH.

On the baby issue it's been tough for me since I mc'd 2 months before the wedding. So I had the *bug* before we said "I do" and it hasn't quite gone away yet. It seems that everyone around me is all of a sudden pg or having babies and Im the only one that's not. I have to control myself to not look at baby stuff all day long, but it's the urge to obsess that makes me do it. I think since I passed my EDD a couple of weeks ago the urge to have a baby right away is getting more and more distant.

The mc kinda woke us up and made us realize we are no where near ready to have kids. We now have a plan to be selfish and enjoy a few years to ourselves; but if we were to get pg I wouldn't be upset ;) . I want to graduate college and he wants to knock out a lot of debt before we actually settle down and buy a house to fill with kiddos.

In the mean time we'll be adding to the fur family and not ours. We've had our dog for over a year now and DH has promised to get him a companion soon. He's a high maintenance dog so hopefully having two will keep me busy and keep my mind off *other* things :D

laurenc

04-26-2006, 11:50 AM

laurenc, you always give the most thoughtful, well-written advice! :)

aww thanks! :o

artist

04-26-2006, 02:44 PM

Granted, I am probably one of the few on this thread who doesn't have quite that urgency to have a baby right away, but I do have a dog, 2 cats, and even 4 goldfish! The cats and dog do keep me busy as they all crave lots of attention and love. They are just wonderful and make me happy! I do treat them like kids sometimes, my parents call them the "grandcats" and "granddog" and buy them Christmas gifts and show people their photos. So, the pets really are a part of our family! (My mom once slipped and asked how the "kids" were and meant the "pets". We both laughed!) Though, it does make me happy to know that our pets are all really good with kids. The dog just loves kids and gets so excited and happy when my nieces visit him! So, if you do get pets and plan to have kids eventually, pets can be great friends for kids, and kids can also be great friends for pets!

PookiePrincess

04-26-2006, 05:53 PM

I completely agree with everything that's been said in response to BerBer. I went through the same thing. Mine wasn't really a need for attention, but just wanting to take the next step. I know it's logical to wait and we are. But it's hard when after you immediately get married everyone asks "when are you having a baby?" And that on top of having the baby bug is SO frustrating and it makes it hard to wait.

Realistically though, my DH is not ready to be a parent yet. When we do have a baby, I want him to be completely ready. I don't want to go into this with it being my idea and him resenting the situation or a baby. So we're waiting until we're both ready emotionally and in a better position financially.

And I third (fourth?) the pet thing. My DH had never had a pet. Last summer we got a kitten and it's the best thing we've done. It makes him have to be responsible for another life, even if it is an independent cat.

lawyerlee

04-27-2006, 01:25 PM

I'm with all of you who have suggested the pet thing. We currently live in an apartment where we aren't allowed to have a cat or dog, but we're house hunting. And as soon as we get even the least bit settled in our new place this summer, I'm getting a pet. I'm dying for one! I think it will go a *long* way toward filling the void I'm feeling to care for someone. :)

Cliff and I haven't settled on any names, but I don't think we'll have much trouble agreeing when the time comes. The only names I like that we can't use are Mia and Chloe. My cousin named her daughter Myah, and I think that sounds too much like Mia. And Cliff has a cousin named Chloe. :)

Names I like:
Madeline (my mom's name :) )
Sophie
Ella
Benjamin
Marcus
Cedric

BerBer

04-27-2006, 03:52 PM

Thank you all so much for your advice. I do have a Ferret(Potus) and a puppy dog named Henry. They are our fur children, so when I say I want to expand our family I include them in on that too;) .

After speaking with DH we desided to discuss the issue again in November. I think this is best too. One other issue that I forgot to mention is that my Mom was diagnosed with the same kind of lung cancer as Diana Reeves 4 days before Dianna was diagnosed. My mom is now in remission and it was a hard fight especially with the wedding. Now my Mom keeps telling me she is ready to be a grandmother.... she is 46 years old and I am the only child. She sort of had a re-awakening and I think that is also a reason I want a baby so badly. ... I want my baby to know their grandmother... and with the chances of it coming back with in 5 years pretty likely(I hate writing that with all my heart) I feel the urgency even more. But, I know that DH and I should think about what we want for us and our future...

:eek: Arg... gotta love that good old Catholic Guilt that I was born with :rolleyes:

Anyway, I'll keep ya'll posted.

LeslieandPaul

04-28-2006, 10:19 AM

I posted this in my journal and in maybe mamas, but i'll do a short version-I talked to DH and it will be upwards of 2 years before ttc :( In the meantime, hopefully I get a good full time job, and I can start getting things together.
I went on e-bay yesterday and won three auctions-a Boppy, a pre and post natal pilates dvd, and the Mayo Clinic guide to a healthy pregnancy. Now I just have to find somewhere to store it where DH won't find it :P

So QOTD (it may have been asked before)
What have you bought in prepartion for pregnancy/a baby?

Janey

04-28-2006, 10:46 AM

What have you bought in prepartion for pregnancy/a baby?

- A pair of maternity pants 2 years ago at Old Navy (though in my defense I did not realize they were maternity until I got them home -- they just were sooo comfortable with that elastic waist that i had to have them :)).
- Baby Bedding that was on Clearance at Target (photo here (http://www.flickr.com/photos/seahills/109737215/in/set-1622644/)).
- Just this week, 2 pairs of maternity shorts at Target. I knew what that comfortable elastic band meant this time, and I didn't care I still went for it. :p We are going to Florida at the end of May, and all my shorts are 4's and 6's and I'm wearing a 10 these days, so I had to have something. I decided I didn't want to buy any clothes right now that I couldn't wear when I was pregnant. So I bought the shorts.

Leslie, even though you do not want to wait two years, it could be a blessing in disguise. You could save up a bunch of money, buy baby things when you find them on super-duper-clearance, and be really really prepared!

Smittenk

04-28-2006, 11:09 AM

What have you bought in prepartion for pregnancy/a baby

I have bought books galore, crib bedding (amazing ebay find!), tons and tons of baby clothes, nursery decor (stuffed animals, bookends, toys etc), a maternity top, hmmm that's all I can think of at the moment!

LeslieandPaul, great finds on ebay!!

running off to ebay to look for baby gear ;)

raven077

04-28-2006, 11:20 AM

I haven't bought anything in prep for a baby, though now I'm thinking I should! :eek: I had bought tons and tons of stuff in preparation for living on my own 5 years ago, but man.. I really should be doing something, shouldn't I? :p

Though I'm sure DH will freak out about this, just as much as when he saw the TCOYF and NFP books laying around. But, in his defense, he's been super supportive of everything since I told him I wanted off BCP. The whole idea of FAM and getting ready to have a baby does take some getting used to. To quote Turk from Scrubs, "A man is programmed to think that a baby is the worst possible consequence of sex."

Edit to say, "Yay! 100th post!" :D

LeslieandPaul

04-28-2006, 12:04 PM

Oh, I also have some baby Gap clothes that I bought for SUPER cheap ($5 and under) when I worked there. And when I go shopping I'm always looking at Old Navy and Gap for good deals (nothing yet), and now that there's Old Navy maternity nearby, I can check that out too.

BlackMagicRose

04-28-2006, 01:18 PM

Wow! I have not bought anything but books! I am always tempted to buy things though. When I am in the US and I got to target especially....I always say "aaawwwwww" at all the baby stuff ;)

stevesbabygirl

04-28-2006, 02:44 PM

What have you bought in prepartion for pregnancy/a baby?

I bought the Classic Pooh bedding set from Target, along with all the accessories, some Mighty Ducks baby stuff (DH actually bought this for me), TCOYF, and I think that's pretty much it. I was going to buy a travel system, but I decided to wait :p.

Smittenk

04-28-2006, 02:48 PM

I was going to buy a travel system, but I decided to wait

Yeah I know the stroller we are going to get and I want to buy it but I figure that is a little much :p

Janey

04-28-2006, 04:48 PM

Heather & Smittenk - Good for you for holding off on the stroller. :p After totally fretting about strollers way earlier in this thread, I know the stroller I want too. I did however research the best deal on it though and i know i'm going to buy it next march when REI sends out their dividends & 20% off coupons. I can't wait.

laurenc

04-28-2006, 05:39 PM

What have you bought in prepartion for pregnancy/a baby?

nothing! not even so much as a book. i don't want to jinx myself. plus, we have no place to put things we don't currently need.

SQ2

04-28-2006, 05:50 PM

plus, we have no place to put things we don't currently need. Same here. When we do have a baby we're going to have to put some stuff in storage to make room! (We live in a small 2 bedroom apartment.)

I feel pretty clueless when it comes to baby stuff. Am slowly learning things here and there from friends and people on here, but I haven't researched anything on my own. I figure if I don't get around to it before I get pregnant, at least I'll have 9 months after that to get ready! ;)

PookiePrincess

04-28-2006, 06:11 PM

What have you bought in prepartion for pregnancy/a baby?

Just TCOYF. I haven't bought anything else because I fear having all of this baby stuff and then having problems conceiving. I just wouldn't be able to look at all of that stuff if that happened. Plus, we're putting all of our extra money toward debt.

DelSol

04-28-2006, 07:46 PM

What have you bought in prepartion for pregnancy/a baby?

nothing! not even so much as a book. i don't want to jinx myself. plus, we have no place to put things we don't currently need.

I couldn't have said it better.

I'll glance at stuff at stores but I never buy anything.

honeygirl

04-28-2006, 09:21 PM

What have you bought in prepartion for pregnancy/a baby?

Not much really. I was at Borders last weekend and looked at "What to expect when you're expecting", but I didn't buy it. I'm going to wait till I get a BFP before I buy books I think. I was the same way with wedding planning, no books or bridal magazines till I got the ring.

Anyway, that said we did buy me a shirt in a larger size that I can wear when pregnant (or if I gain weight for any other reason). :) That and a beautiful little sweater that we could use as a baby shower gift for a friend, or for a baby we have. Whichever comes first.

But that's it for now. Really.

DH comes home from his business trip tomorrow. I'm hoping that he'll have good TTC news for me. We had decided before he left that we'd talk about it when he gets back. I'm going to wait at least a couple days for him to bring it up, but that's it! Wish me luck!

Smittenk

04-29-2006, 01:19 AM

MrsHill, the one we will get is from REI too...That would be great (in a way) if we didn't need to buy one until the sale!!

Belm

04-30-2006, 01:06 PM

What have you bought in prepartion for pregnancy/a baby?

We haven't bought anything, either.

dpangel33

04-30-2006, 05:06 PM

What have you bought in prepartion for pregnancy/a baby?

I've only purchased TCOYF and WTEWYE.

stevesbabygirl

05-02-2006, 12:01 PM

Well, it looks like we won't be TTC until July now . DH's aunt is coming out this summer instead of next, and I promised I would take her granddaughter to Disneyland and go on all the rides that his aunt wouldn't go on. I'm actually pretty okay with it, because now I won't feel pressured to get pg in a few months, so that the baby will be born before they come out to California.

Sunshine

05-02-2006, 03:19 PM

Well, the time has Finally come!
I am No Longer a LIW:)

Thank you everyone for all of your help and support! I hope your waits wont be much longer:)

stevesbabygirl

05-02-2006, 07:48 PM

Congrats Sunshine!

LeslieandPaul

05-02-2006, 08:06 PM

Congrats Sunshine!

DelSol

05-03-2006, 05:56 AM

Congrats Sunshine!

artist

05-03-2006, 11:19 AM

Congratuations Sunshine!

What have you bought in prepartion for pregnancy/a baby?

Nothing. But I guess I sometimes read about things like child development, etc. as it loosely relates to my current job. I would think if I bought stuff now it would later jinx me into not being able to have kids or something.

Can't remember if this has been asked yet but,

When you do decide to TTC, at first will you be a "seeing what happens" or will you actually chart, temp, etc.? Also, do you worry if you don't get pregnant right away that TTC could end up not being fun and make sex more of a chore as opposed to something fun to do?

I'll probably just be a "seeing what happens". I might loosely pay attention to when I believe I am ovulating, but I'd prefer to not get too into the whole charting, temping, etc. unless I don't get pregnant for awhile. I guess I'm just not that interested in doing all of that and I hope I don't have to. When the time comes, I do hope it happens quickly because I would worry that being overly focused on TTC month after month after month would be very frustrating for a number of reasons and I also would think it would make sex not so fun after awhile.

Sunshine

05-03-2006, 01:56 PM

Thank you everyone for your Congrats:)

laurenc

05-03-2006, 02:12 PM

When you do decide to TTC, at first will you be a "seeing what happens" or will you actually chart, temp, etc.?

i think i'm more a "see what happens" person, but at the same time i'm kind of curious about charting. not curious enough to read a book on it, but curious enough to try it once.

Also, do you worry if you don't get pregnant right away that TTC could end up not being fun and make sex more of a chore as opposed to something fun to do?

i wouldn't say i worry about it... but i've definitely thought about that. i mean, i wouldn't exactly say that anything is fun if you are doing it over and over again without the results you want, yknow?

Janey

05-03-2006, 02:31 PM

When you do decide to TTC, at first will you be a "seeing what happens" or will you actually chart, temp, etc.?
I started charting for birth control in November 2005 and it was the best and most enlightening thing I've ever done in the birth control/family planning area, and perhaps even the Women's Health area in general.

laurenc (& others), if you ever do decide to chart -- definitely read a book on it. This book (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060937645/sr=8-1/qid=1146688079/ref=pd_bbs_1/002-9045125-4006437?%5Fencoding=UTF8) in particular! :) Lots of good information in there even if you decide not to take your temperature every morning.

Also, do you worry if you don't get pregnant right away that TTC could end up not being fun and make sex more of a chore as opposed to something fun to do?

I wouldn't say it's a worry for me, exactly... but it's a consideration, definitely.

raven077

05-03-2006, 04:01 PM

When you do decide to TTC, at first will you be a "seeing what happens" or will you actually chart, temp, etc.?
I agree with MrsHill on that one. I only started charting in March, fresh off 12 years of BCP so I could figure out my cycles again (and get off the hormones!) and make sure that I don't have any problems that could potentially be fixed (i.e. short luteal phases etc) by the end of the year when we start TTC. It's definitely enlightening. I'm rather addicted to charting, actually. :o

Since we'll be actively trying then, I'd rather know the general timeline of my fertility to have a better window of opportunity rather than continuously "miss" cycle after cycle only to be frustrated with myself, DH and BD.

Also, do you worry if you don't get pregnant right away that TTC could end up not being fun and make sex more of a chore as opposed to something fun to do?
Again, I agree with MrsHill on that one. At the moment, it's not a worry but a consideration. When the time comes, and we're timing it exactly right and but still not achieving pregnancy time and again, then I might change my mind.

And in the meantime, I will continue to "ramp up" our sex life so that when the time comes, and I know my fertile times, it won't seem like we're DTD just to make a baby. If that makes any sense...:p

Edit to agree, definitely grab that book for charting, if you're thinking about it. Wealth of info, easy to digest.

PookiePrincess

05-03-2006, 04:52 PM

When you do decide to TTC, at first will you be a "seeing what happens" or will you actually chart, temp, etc.?

I'll definitely be charting. I think it's much more efficient to BD 3 days a month instead of randomly throughout the month or when I might think I'm ovulating. I'm actually tossing around the idea of starting to chart to avoid this summer when I'm off school. I'd like to get the hang of it and get the hormones completely out of my system before we TTC next year.

Also, do you worry if you don't get pregnant right away that TTC could end up not being fun and make sex more of a chore as opposed to something fun to do?

Not really. I'm sure it would turn into a chore rather than fun, but I'm not too worried about that now. What I worry about is having fertility problems. I think it will really stress me out if we try for a year and find out there's some sort of problem and have to have IF treatments.

raven077

05-03-2006, 06:40 PM

What I worry about is having fertility problems. I think it will really stress me out if we try for a year and find out there's some sort of problem and have to have IF treatments.

That's the great thing about charting... You don't have to wait a year. If you know exactly when you're fertile and you're doing the BD during that time and don't conceive after something like 4-6 cycles (is that right MrsHill?) then you can go to your doctor, armed with your info and can get started on potential treatments right away.

BTW, you've probably seen it, but there is a TTA w/charting (http://www.constantchatter.com/showthread.php?t=17140) thread that you can go to for random charting help. (sorry.. can't remember if you've posted in it or not. :o)

PookiePrincess

05-03-2006, 06:45 PM

Thanks, Karen. I knew that about the 6 months, but you know how some doctors can be. I've read TCOYF and I regularly lurk in the TTA thread. I'll join this summer if I decide to go that route.

Janey

05-03-2006, 06:51 PM

PookiePrincess - I worry about fertility issues as well, since I was diagnosed with PCOS in 2003. I think your plan sounds very wise and reasonable.

That's the great thing about charting... You don't have to wait a year. If you know exactly when you're fertile and you're doing the BD during that time and don't conceive after something like 4-6 cycles (is that right MrsHill?) then you can go to your doctor, armed with your info and can get started on potential treatments right away.
From what I've heard, if you go into your doctor and tell them you are having trouble getting pregnant, they will tell you to come back after you've been trying a year. If you go in armed with a bunch of charts showing all of your annovulatory cycles, then theoretically your doctor will be more apt to help you earlier than the 12 months since you have "proof" that you're not ovulating. 'Course, charting doesn't show male infertility -- though it might, I suppose, if you have perfectly timed BD, and are obviously ovulating. And also of course, all of this assumes you have a charting-friendly doctor, though I'd be pretty pissed if I went in with a bunch of annovulatory charts and they told me to come back in a year!!

Here's the thing, though: Taking your temperature only serves to tell you that you've ovulated. If you've ovulated, it's pretty much too late to get pregnant. The EWCM is for timing BD. You see that stretchiness - you go for it, early and often. ;)

LeslieandPaul

05-03-2006, 06:56 PM

When you do decide to TTC, at first will you be a "seeing what happens" or will you actually chart, temp, etc.?
I've been charting since February 2005 and plan to continue doing so.

Also, do you worry if you don't get pregnant right away that TTC could end up not being fun and make sex more of a chore as opposed to something fun to do?
I don't think sex would be like a chore if I didn't get pregnant right away, but I do think I would get stressed out and grumpy.

BlackMagicRose

05-03-2006, 08:37 PM

When you do decide to TTC, at first will you be a "seeing what happens" or will you actually chart, temp, etc.?
I am definetly going to let things happen, but I have read TCOYF and I know how to chart. I just hope I do not have to ;) I will chart after six months of trying without success.

Also, do you worry if you don't get pregnant right away that TTC could end up not being fun and make sex more of a chore as opposed to something fun to do?
I hope sex will always be an end in itself. I like having sex with my FH. The possibility of having a little one will make things more exciting :) I won't feel the pressure unless we do not have a baby within a year of trying...then things might be tough, but it is hard to predict.

elissa

05-03-2006, 09:49 PM

When you do decide to TTC, at first will you be a "seeing what happens" or will you actually chart, temp, etc.? Also, do you worry if you don't get pregnant right away that TTC could end up not being fun and make sex more of a chore as opposed to something fun to do?

We will be seeing what happens for probably about three months starting in June (after three months off the pill). I would prefer not to have to chart, but could go that route if needed. As for getting pregnant right away, I think I will start to be more concerned once it has been about six months, I had fibroids removed, so that adds some complexity to the six months vs. the year before PG like many doctors recommend. I don't think sex will be a chore, I like having sex with DH when we do and that is one of the reasons we do not want to chart and do it at certain times, but just continue things as we have.

honeygirl

05-03-2006, 11:03 PM

Hello ladies. It appears that I am graduating from this thread and onto TTC! Although we'll be taking it slow we aren't preventing, so I'm not a LIW anymore. I've been a LIW since WC days and the time here has flown by (mostly). You ladies are wonderful and I've appreciated all the support. I'll still be checking in from time to time and will let you know when we get our BFP (Lord willing).

Best wishes to you all,

Anne

dpangel33

05-04-2006, 12:11 PM

Congrats Anne, good luck TTC!!

When you do decide to TTC, at first will you be a "seeing what happens" or will you actually chart, temp, etc.?

I am currently CTA (charting to avoid) like some of the others here b/c I'm tired of changing BC. I am hoping that in the next few years I will gain a sense of my bodys pattern in hopes to be a lax charter when we begin to TTC.

Also, do you worry if you don't get pregnant right away that TTC could end up not being fun and make sex more of a chore as opposed to something fun to do?

Unfortionately sex is already a chore for me so hopefully things will be different when we TTC :rolleyes:

DelSol

05-04-2006, 06:53 PM

When you do decide to TTC, at first will you be a "seeing what happens" or will you actually chart, temp, etc.?

I'll probably be a seeing what happens girl. I do check when my ovulation is suppose to occur online and from what I have been reading, seems to be on target.

Do you worry if you don't get pregnant right away that TTC could end up not being fun and make sex more of a chore as opposed to something fun to do?

I'll think we'll be able to have fun and not make a chore.

DelSol

05-04-2006, 06:57 PM

Congrats Anne!

BlackMagicRose

05-04-2006, 10:48 PM

Congrats Anne! Best of luck!

BlackMagicRose

05-04-2006, 10:52 PM

QOTD: Lets talk about nursery decorating! Do you look at cribs and bedding already? What are your favorites? What colors would you like to use?

I like primary colors more than pastels. I love this for a baby girl:

http://g-images.amazon.com/images/G/01/baby/browse/slides/big/142200011.jpg

and I have not found the perfect thing for a boy, but I really like this:

http://g-images.amazon.com/images/G/01/baby/browse/slides/big/16033991.jpg

lawyerlee

05-05-2006, 06:01 PM

I keep meaning to pop in and answer the questions, but I can't seem to remember to actually do it. Until now. ;) So here I am again.

What have you bought in prepartion for pregnancy/a baby?

Nothing. I'm honestly totally overwhelmed by all the choices out there and trying to decide what options will be right for you and a baby whose habits you don't know yet. I think that will be really intimidating when I finally am pregnant! Also, we live in a one bedroom apartment right now, so we're already up to our ears in our own stuff. Oh, I did buy TCOYF recently, though, because I thought I had irregular periods. And I say "thought" because I've already learned through the few chapters I've read that my cycles are just really long. Already a good investment! :)

When you do decide to TTC, at first will you be a "seeing what happens" or will you actually chart, temp, etc.?

I think I'll chart. I want to start charting now, if I can ever work my way through the rest of TCOYF!

Do you worry if you don't get pregnant right away that TTC could end up not being fun and make sex more of a chore as opposed to something fun to do?

Maybe. But I think we'll still be spontaneous, but it will be pretty cool to know whether there is even a chance of conceiving when we're ready. :cool:

QOTD: Lets talk about nursery decorating! Do you look at cribs and bedding already? What are your favorites? What colors would you like to use?

I really only look with my PG friends (IRL and online). :) I LOVE that first set you shared, BlackMagicRose! That's definitely something I could imagine myself using when the time comes. And if our first baby is a girl, I know I'll be tempted to go totally girly and pink. I love pink! :D

Congrats and best wishes to all the LIW graduates. :)

stevesbabygirl

05-05-2006, 11:29 PM

When you do decide to TTC, at first will you be a "seeing what happens" or will you actually chart, temp, etc.?

At first, I didn't want to chart for TTC, but it's so informative, and I'd love to maximize our chances. On the other hand, if I've been charting for a while, I'll probably be able to recognize the signs pretty easily without actually having to do the temping and CM checking stuff.

Do you worry if you don't get pregnant right away that TTC could end up not being fun and make sex more of a chore as opposed to something fun to do?

Kind of, which is also why I was against using charting to TTC as well. I figured it took all the magic out of it.

Lets talk about nursery decorating! Do you look at cribs and bedding already? What are your favorites? What colors would you like to use?

I already have my crib, dresser, and changing table picked out! I plan to buy the DaVinci Emily crib, along with coordinating accessories. We're getting a really good deal on them too, because when we were on the Dr. Phil show, we went into a baby store, and the owner said he'd take care of us when the time came :). Here's a picture of the set that I want, in that honey pine color that's on the changing table:
http://www.minitots.com/i/di.asp?image=/i/M4791S4.jpg&w=500&h=500

And I have the Classic Pooh bedding from Target:
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000CQECTC.16._SCLZZZZZZZ_SS384_.jpg

BlackMagicRose

05-05-2006, 11:36 PM

Awe, Heather I REALLY love that furniture and crib! Nice picks!

stevesbabygirl

05-06-2006, 01:00 AM

Thanks :D!

laurenc

05-06-2006, 11:26 AM

QOTD: Lets talk about nursery decorating! Do you look at cribs and bedding already? What are your favorites? What colors would you like to use?

whenever i get a catalog in the mail i browse through it, but i'm not interested in, at this stage of the game, picking things out. i don't think it's important to do that now. if i pick out all my nursery themes and whatnot *now*, then what will i do when i really do get pregnant?? :) i feel it's sort of like shopping for wedding dresses before you're engaged. maybe i'm a spoilsport, but i want to save some things for when i do have something to look forward to.

DelSol

05-06-2006, 03:36 PM

QOTD: Lets talk about nursery decorating! Do you look at cribs and bedding already? What are your favorites? What colors would you like to use?

Sometimes I will look at bedding and cribs but not too much, I have picked out ones I like. I like anything dealing with the ocean.

http://www.babysupermall.com/main/products/coc/coc101033-big.jpg

http://www.babysupermall.com/main/products/lai/lai53006v-big.jpg

http://a293.g.akamai.net/7/293/5910/0010/image2.styleinamerica.com/pkecimgs/images/products/200618/0006/img36l.jpg

http://a293.g.akamai.net/7/293/5910/0010/image2.styleinamerica.com/pkecimgs/images/products/200618/0011/img59l.jpg

December27JJB

05-06-2006, 07:33 PM

We will be recycling DD's crib and bedding. She has a white sleigh crib and heres a pic of the bedding I found on ebay http://i23.ebayimg.com/05/i/06/e1/ac/fd_1.JPG it is called Pottery Barn kids velour animals and they are in primary colors. I am debating whether to take down her bedding soon so she doesnt get them dirty and I can save it for baby#2?

Julss05

05-07-2006, 07:18 AM

QOTD: Lets talk about nursery decorating! Do you look at cribs and bedding already? What are your favorites? What colors would you like to use?
I like safari themes, I know they've grown popular, but I liked that idea long ago because it is nongender and we might not know the sex of the baby until birth, not to mention we want two kids. If we knew we were having a boy we'd probably do a fire fighting theme because DH is a firefighter:rolleyes:. If we knew it was a girl for sure maybe butterflies or lambs. Maybe a safari theme using primary colors like above so there isn't so much brown. I could go wild with stenciling a whole juggle! That would be fun:)

Here's a cute mommy/baby giraffe picture I already bought:
http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/RIC/EUS500.jpg

Tiddliwinks Safari, Target:
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000E5QFAA.16._SCLZZZZZZZ_SS384_.jpg

Circus Circus, Target:
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000AEOF6G.16._SCLZZZZZZZ_SS384_.jpg

African Plains, Burlington Coat Factory:
http://www.burlingtoncoatfactory.com/IWCatSectionAndProductView.process?Section_Id=2575 1

On Safari, Burlington Coat Factory:
http://www.burlingtoncoatfactory.com/IWCatSectionAndProductView.process?Section_Id=4008 1

artist

05-08-2006, 12:57 PM

QOTD: Lets talk about nursery decorating! Do you look at cribs and bedding already? What are your favorites? What colors would you like to use?

I like the more neutral looking things that aren't extremely "cutesy".

Such as:

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0006FLE0E.16._SCLZZZZZZZ_SS260_.jpg

or

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000CC6LUE.16._SCLZZZZZZZ_SS260_.jpg

or

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000CPIY5Q.16._SCLZZZZZZZ_SS260_.jpg

As for furniture, not really sure, but I prefer the look of wood and a more clean, simple, modern look or even a nice classic look to too many curves, details, etc.

Janey

05-08-2006, 01:13 PM

Nursery Decor: I purchased nursery bedding a while back when I saw it on clearance at Target.com. We want to do a farm mural on the walls... I bought the bedding mostly so we could have some characters to copy for the mural. :) Here it is ...

http://static.flickr.com/47/109737215_a239888578.jpg?v=0

I used to think I want a beadboard-sided crib, like This Dana Crib From PBKids:
http://a293.g.akamai.net/7/293/5910/0010/image2.styleinamerica.com/pkecimgs/images/products/200618/0013/img64l.jpg

It's $500 -- ouch! Aside from the price, I'm hearing that so many people don't like the solid ends that now I think maybe that's not such a great idea.

Besides which, B and I have decided that we want to get a Mission-Style Glider & Ottoman, so that it will look good in our living room after The Babies don't need to be glided any more. The custom-fabric Dutailier rocker/glider sets (http://www.babyuniverse.com/pro/baby/86758/GliderRocker-CustomMissionStyle10210Oak.html) are near $1,000 (ai-yai-yai!!), but then I saw this one in the JCPenney catalog and it is $200 for both pieces:

http://a583.g.akamai.net/7/583/175/2006030212/cache4.jcpenney.com/images/large/0900631b80e9874cL.jpg

I need to find out who the manufacturer or that glider is to confirm it won't be a piece of junk, and I need to find out if the back reclines at all (it looks very straight up and down). If In any case, if we get the glider, that sort of influences the rest of our furniture-color decisions. I used to think I wanted white but now I think some sort of a Honey color will be better. So therefore, this is my new favorite crib (except in the lighter honey color):

http://a583.g.akamai.net/7/583/175/2006030212/cache4.jcpenney.com/images/large/0900631b80d23b7cL.jpg

... and it's a lot more reasonably priced at $200. :)

CindyM

05-08-2006, 02:03 PM

Can I join? I am on my first cycle TTA. We are planning to TTC as soon as I get a new job - I am going through alternative certification for teaching right now. Trying to get a job for this August!

CindyM
Me: Cindy - 26
DH: Louis - 31
Married: January 17, 2004
TTC: Hopefully August 2006 - or when I get a new job!

artist

05-08-2006, 06:05 PM

Mrs. Hill,

I really like that glider chair! I agree that it would also look great in a living room. I also think that the crib you posted would go well with that.

LeslieandPaul

05-10-2006, 09:45 AM

Nursery Decor
I plan on making the bedding (or getting my mom to make it :p) because all the stuff I like is WAY too expensive.
I want to do something really bright and colourful, using fabrics/colours like these
http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid205/p6ca3d324fde6a0465cb5c919095091f2/ef10d2ed.jpg

OR

Use brown, and a light, turquoise-y blue, kinda like this, and put up some prints from Ikea, with a sand/ beach feel.

http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid205/p171937ae9869d499b4cc318e742a25ee/ef10d2e8.jpg

Janey

05-10-2006, 11:52 AM

Mrs. Hill,

I really like that glider chair! I agree that it would also look great in a living room. I also think that the crib you posted would go well with that.
Thanks!

I called JC Penney to see who the manufacturer is on the Glider -- cause we're sort of looking for a living room glider right now and if I found a good deal on one I'd just buy it. Turns out that the manufacturer is Dorel. They seem to be on the lower end of the quality spectrum -- Walmart also sells their products. :rolleyes: So now I am back to thinking I should just shell out the $$$ for a Dutailier. I'm hoping a Grandparent steps in and says, "I will buy you guys the rocker if I get to hold the baby in it when I come over." :p We shall see!

portinastorm

05-10-2006, 02:02 PM

Hi there. Mind if I join y'all? I finally feel like I am close enough to TTC that I can actually join a group. That and I need an outlet for my baby-bug that is getting so active these days! Here are my stats and I copied a huge lists of QOTD from early on in an effort to try to participate, but there is no way I could get to them all - this thread is HUGE! Anyway.....

Me: 31
DH:30
Married: Fall 2003
TTC: February 2007
I don't want to put names right now in case anyone I know lurks here. I'm really private about this stuff in my "real life." I hope that's okay.

QOTD: What are your top names right now?
We have talked about this generally, but nothing definite yet. I'm too superstitious to count my babies before they hatch!
QOTD: So, is there anything you really want to do before TTC?
Take a few more together trips with DH;lose five pounds and get my abs and back in good shape for pregnancy and carrying around a baby
QOTD: Do you feel like you will have a good support system once baby arrives?Yes. My parents live here and DH's are within a few hours. And we are close with all of them.
QOTD: What is some of your favorite baby gear right now?Again, I try not to think about this stuff too much.
QOTD ~ How does your DH feel about TTC? Is he excited and can't wait? Nervous, but will be ready when the time comes? Or is he glad that you're waiting and secretly hopes you'll change your mind?We are on the same page. Ready now, but accepting that we need to wait a little longer.
QOTD: What do you dread most about being a parent?
Nothing. I know it will be hard, but I don't dread any part of it.
QOTD: Pets! Do you have pets? What kind? Any thoughts/concerns about how your pets will react to a human baby in the house?
We have two large dogs, and they both are really good around little ones.
QOTD: How many kids do you plan on having?
One, but we might decide to go for a second, but we'll make that decision later.
QOTD: do you plan to send your children to public school? private school? homeschool?
Private.
QOTD: Will you send you children to sleep away camp?
If they are interested in it, sure! My sister loved it. I hated it!
QOTD: What's your favorite drink? Let's indulge while we still can!
Vodka and soda with lots of lime, wine
How do your DHs feel about kissing (or showing other types of affection towards) their sons? We haven't talked about this explicitly, but his father is very affectionate with DH (in a good way, not a weird way!) and I expect DH will be that way too.
QOTD:Anyone else here really good armchair parents? By this I mean, after you've spent time with OPK's (other peoples kids) do you and your DH hash out all that they do wrong or right and discuss what you would do as a parent? Oh totally. We think we've got it all figured out, but I know we will probably see things differently when the screaming toddler is ours. We are both so into Nanny 911 - it's outrageous what those kids do, but it seems to always boil down to parents setting boundaries and enforcing them.
QOTD: Any one else scared of being the bad guy out of the two of you?
No, not really. I probably will be the bad guy, but I'm not that afraid of it. I think I will be a good bad guy!
QOTD: Has your DH made any comments about getting pregnant now even though you agreed to wait?
No. We both understand why we need to wait.
QOTD: why are you waiting?
I was diagnosed with cancer five years ago and I have to wait to TTC until I finish taking a cancer-related medication in November (I have been on it all five years) and then wait three more months to get the drug out of my system. I think those three months will seem very long!
QOTD: What would you do if you couldn't have kids?
Be happy with my husband and travel and have lots of adventures. I can't do fertility drugs b/c of my health and adoption is also complicated with a cancer history.
QOTD- If you have a daughter, will you have her ears pierced as a baby?No.
QOTD: How long will you wait to tell your parents/immediate close friends and family that you're pregnant?
I have no idea. I will probably tell my parents very early and wait as long as I can for everyone else, but I can't begin to imagine how I will feel about it when it actually happens.
QOTD: Even though you are not yet trying, do you secretly (or not so secretly) fear that you will have fertility problems?Yes because sometimes chemo causes early menopause and the drug I'm taking camouflages whether you are in menopause or not. So I have no idea. But given my crappy health thus far, I wouldn't be surprised!
QOTD: When you TTC, will you just see what happens for awhile, or will you start charting right away? Anyone charting now?I am going to start charting in August to try to get a good sense of my cycles (though, again, there's not much point but practice till November when I will come off this drug and begin to get a sense of what is going on with my body). But I want to start charting before then to be aware of how my body changes as a result. And hopefully so I will be an expert at it by the time we start to TTC.
QOTD: What will you do work-wise when you have a baby? Stay at home? Continue to work? Telecommute? Etc.?I have a great job, very close to home, and my boss is my dad, so I will continue working. I will have a nursery at my office.
QOTD: Do you think talking about waiting, TTC, etc makes you more anxious/ready to have a child? If so, is this a good or a bad thing?Yes. I think it's good in the sense that I have time to carefully consider the many choices new parents are faced with, but I think it's bad when one gets obsessed.
QOTD: What's the most recent purchase you've made?
V-8 and a power bar. That sounds awful, doesn't it?!
QQTD: Who is more ready for TTC in your household you or DH? Are you concerned/worried about being able to balance your work and family?
I think we are equally ready. I'm not worried about balancing work and family.
QOTD: Does anyone else feel like they don't fit in anywhere?
Oh gosh yes. Everyone seems to have children or be pregnant. I feel like an outsider and I work hard to avoid being jealous of my friends who are moms/moms-to-be.
QOTD: Does anyone have a job that either encourages or hinders your desire to have children? Or if not hinder, perhaps gives you new concerns/fears?Because I work for my father and my job is very flexible, I guess you could say it encourages my desire for children since it won't be nearly as hard to continue working as it would be in a larger, more corporate environment.
QOTD: What do you do for a living?Work for a non-profit.
QOTD: Are you "planning" what gender you will have first/Do you prefer a certain gender first?
Nope.
QOTD: Anyone get annoying comments on waiting to have kids recently?
People ask me a lot when we will have children. Or if I want to have children. Because I don't really like to get into the details of my situation with people I don't know very well, I just say "whenever we are blessed with one" or "not yet" and that usually stops further questions.
QOTD: Are you avoiding fish that is known to be high in mercury levels??? Like tuna, shark, swordfish...I rarely eat shark or swordfish. I will probably stop tuna fish six months before TTC, and I'm considering having my mercury levels tested for peace of mind. I do love tuna fish.
QOTD: Are you taking any vitamins. prenatals, etc.?A daily multivitamin, and will switch to prenatals for more folic acid in November.
QOTD: Do you worry your parents/in-laws won't be supportive of your birth/childcare choices?No.
QOTD: What do you all think about the diaperfreebaby business? Check out: http://diaperfreebaby.org/Wow. I would love to see someone I know try that. It won't be me!
QOTD: How do you think your parents/inlaws will react to the pregnancy news?
They will go nuts. They will be so happy.
QOTD: what vehicle do you plan to use when you become a mommy?People make fun of me because I already drive a station wagon. I love it and will keep it when baby arrives.
QOTD: What have you already purchased for your future child/ren?Nothing. I'm afraid to do that.
QOTD: Do you plan on delivering natural/with pain meds or via C-section? What influences your choice?
I will try natural because having had the health challenges I have faced, it would be so wonderful to have my body do something "right" all by itself - does that make any sense? Though, I will be prepared for anything.
QOTD: Who do you want in the delivery room with you, if you don't want to have a C-section?
DH
QOTD: What form of birth control do you use? Do you like it?
diaphragm. Hate it! But I can't do hormonal birth control.
QOTD: What age do you consider to be too young to parent a child? Why? I think people are not mature enough for kids when they cannot independently care for themselves. But I don't think there's a specific age.
QOTD: For those of you who are waiting because of "external" issues (money, travel, house, etc.), what did it mean for you to feel "ready"? And for those of you who don't feel "ready" yet, how do you think it will feel when you are?We have been through cancer together, had a 1.5 year engagement, married for 2.5 years, and we are so in love with each other and very happy in our own lives. We got through that transition of early marriage and all of those kinks and spats, and life just seems to hum along now. I feel like we are ready for the challenge of parenting.

...to be continued....

portinastorm

05-10-2006, 02:03 PM

continued.....

QOTD: How prepared financially will you really be when you start TTC? Whether you are going to use daycare or have a stay at home parent, you're looking at bringing in $1000+ less a month (or significantly more). Do you have so much surplus in your budgets now that you can afford that hit?Luckily, we are in good shape financially.
QOTD: If you were to have a kick-off TTC place (or time/holiday) where/when would it be?
We went to St. Barth in February and we joke about going back next February to conceive Baby Bart. But we aren't really planning anything like that.
QOTD: What will you do for maternity clothes and how much are you willing to spend on them?
Haven't thought much about it, though I will try to stay in my regular clothes as long as I can.
QOTD: Do you have any friends who will be TTC when you are?I don't know. Very possible.

That was fun. I look forward to getting to "know" all of you!

Janey

05-10-2006, 02:14 PM

Portinastorm Welcome! :D I'm glad you enjoyed the barrage of questions. I enjoyed reading your answers. CONGRATS on being a cancer survivor!! That's awesome!

Also FWIW, I use a combination of charting & condoms to avoid pregnancy. I chart to know my fertile time, and only use condoms during that window. It has worked really well for us. Since you really hate that diaphragm, reading the TCOYF book will help you figure out when you do/don't have to use it. :)

raven077

05-10-2006, 05:35 PM

portinastorm, Welcome! Ditto what MrsHill said from kicking your cancer to TCOYF. Everyone is super nice.

portinastorm

05-10-2006, 06:46 PM

Thanks for the welcome, Mrs. Hill and Raven! It's tempting to use TCOYF for TTA, but I'm a little afraid to do that since the drug that I'm taking now causes birth defects, so an "oops" would be really bad. But if I get comfortable with charting in a few months, we'll see. It would be so nice to not have to use that diaphragm all the time. Ugh!

DelSol

05-14-2006, 07:02 PM

Welcome to all the new Ladies!

Janey

05-15-2006, 10:20 PM

Well ladies, today is CD1 of my first TTC cycle. I've really enjoyed "waiting" along with the rest of you here in LIW! You all have made the wait a lot more enjoyable! :D

Threadmistress, please move me to the Graduates section. Thanks!

LeslieandPaul

05-16-2006, 10:28 AM

Congratulations MrsHill!!!

Smittenk

05-16-2006, 10:41 AM

I have been sticking around for a while now but haven't been posting since I am participating in TTC threads. DH and "officially" started TTC last month. Good Luck to all you ladies...it has been fun waiting with you!

MrsHill, I will see you in the TTC threads!

Threadmistress, can you please move me to the Graduates section as well. Thanks!!

stevesbabygirl

05-16-2006, 12:42 PM

Welcome to all the new ladies, and congratulations to the graduates :D!

tashaw6

05-16-2006, 12:45 PM

Gosh, so many graduates! When will it be me!!! <cry, wail>

DelSol

05-16-2006, 06:03 PM

Gosh, so many graduates! When will it be me!!! <cry, wail>

I feel the same way, don't worry our time will come. :D

tashaw6

05-17-2006, 01:41 PM

Thanks Dana!

TracieB

05-18-2006, 06:48 PM

I'm taking portinastorms' lead and joining the group as well. Hopefully it will squelch this baby fever I've had for the past month or so!!!

TracieB
Me: Tracie, 24
DH: Token, 31
Married: May 15, 2005
TTC: No specific one... we're targeting 2/3 years, so 2008/2009

QOTD: What are your top names right now?
We've talked about names a lot. I have this weird feeling that I'm destined to have boys. I like the names Trent and Brock. Girls... I like the name Audrey, Token likes Katherine, but we have a long last name so I don't think that one will fly.
QOTD: So, is there anything you really want to do before TTC?
More traveling! We loooove going to new places.
QOTD: Do you feel like you will have a good support system once baby arrives? I hope so! Hopefully we'll live closer to my mom and dad so they can help out.
QOTD: What is some of your favorite baby gear right now? Haven't really thought too much about this!
QOTD ~ How does your DH feel about TTC? Is he excited and can't wait? Nervous, but will be ready when the time comes? Or is he glad that you're waiting and secretly hopes you'll change your mind? He's actually been the one who's been strong when I've wanted to try. He is excited for when the time comes, but is much more logical than me when it comes to the actual logistics of it all.
No more "me" time. Another reason why now isn't a good time... I'm too selfish!!! I love time to myself.
QOTD: Pets! Do you have pets? What kind? Any thoughts/concerns about how your pets will react to a human baby in the house?
We have a big black cat named Nikko. I think he'll be fine around kids...
QOTD: How many kids do you plan on having?
2 or 3
QOTD: do you plan to send your children to public school? private school? homeschool?
a good public school system, kinda like what I grew up in
QOTD: Will you send you children to sleep away camp?
Sure, if they want to! I loved that sort of thing.
QOTD: What's your favorite drink? Let's indulge while we still can!
White zin, cosmos
How do your DHs feel about kissing (or showing other types of affection towards) their sons? I don't know! We haven't talked about it. I think he'd be affectionate, since he's that way with his dad.
QOTD:Anyone else here really good armchair parents? By this I mean, after you've spent time with OPK's (other peoples kids) do you and your DH hash out all that they do wrong or right and discuss what you would do as a parent? ABSO-STINKIN'-LUTELY!! We are notorious for this!
QOTD: Any one else scared of being the bad guy out of the two of you?
Not really.
QOTD: Has your DH made any comments about getting pregnant now even though you agreed to wait?
Nope... not unless I bring it up and then he brings me back down to earth.
QOTD: why are you waiting?
We live in Guam, which is way too far away from my family to have kids. We are loving our single life together, traveling, being selfish with our time, etc. It's just not the right time in our lives to try.
QOTD: What would you do if you couldn't have kids?
Have a happy life with Token, traveling and seeing the world. Maybe adoption at one point in time?
QOTD- If you have a daughter, will you have her ears pierced as a baby? No
QOTD: How long will you wait to tell your parents/immediate close friends and family that you're pregnant?
I haven't even thought about it! I imagine I'll want to tell my mom and dad early, but