Ladies in Waiting, Volume 2 [Archive] - Page 2

Janey

01-05-2006, 06:14 PM

Welcome fsb2005! :)

Re: Nursery Decoration
I'm so with you gals. We have a nursery room upstairs, and it is the coolest room, with sloped ceilings, little cubbies, and a half-shelf-wall-thing. Right now it is the most horrible shade of pinky-lavander, and there's no flooring in there. I can't wait to get going. Flooring in the upstairs is the next house project after finishing the painting downstairs!

Okay so here's a question... I debate with myself on how best to go about doing this nursery thing. You all tell me if you think I'm being silly. I think about the best way to do things, and the EASIEST way -- and the way B wants to do it -- is this: 1) Prime walls ... 2) Paint walls ... 3) Put flooring in ... 4) Decorate w/ decor items.

In any other room, this is what I'd do. I wouldn't have to worry about slopping paint on a brand new floor, and that'd be great! Except, this is the nursery. And, well... I sort of feel like if I paint the nursery, maybe I'll jinx things? Or what if I paint the nursery in a color that perfectly matches the bedding that I want... and that bedding goes out of stock, and then I'm screwed and have to repaint?

So... should I go ahead and find a nice nursery color and paint away, even though there's no baby to be painting for? Or should I wait for the baby to give me the go-ahead, and just be careful not to slop paint.

stevesbabygirl

01-05-2006, 07:03 PM

Nursery decorations - I bought the Classic Pooh nursery collection from Target.

JLRenheos

01-05-2006, 08:23 PM

LadyD088 My 30th is in September. :eek:

eli1126

01-05-2006, 08:38 PM

Welcome fsb2005!

Lady088 When are you moving?

stevesbabygirl that is too funny! I love the Classic Pooh, but SIL did it for nephew.

JLRenheos I am turning 30 in November! I remember thinking that was so old.......

Mrs. Hill I would go ahead and paint the room! I probably wouldn't go all out with nursery colors because I would want to wait until I had picked out the bedding and things that I wanted to go in the room. I change my mind about what I want in the nursery all the time so I will probably wait until I am pg to pick out everything!

I am getting so ready to TTC though! DH actually asked me if I wanted to start next month and I was so tempted except that I don't want to be pg for graduation..which is so shallow, but I just don't want to waddle up to get my diploma :p

Beth

Julss05

01-06-2006, 09:41 AM

We have one of those storage rooms/future babies room. Over the summer we took everything out of the closet and painted it including the ceiling but now all the junk is back in the closet:rolleyes:. I'm hoping we won't have to repaint and I'll get lucky finding bedding that will go with what's already up;) . The paint color is a soft eggshell with white trim. I'm thinking of going with a lamb or jungle theme.

MrsHill-I'd go ahead and paint as long as the color will be something that will go with a variety of bedding because it may take a while to do everything if the floor and ceiling need fixed as well. If you really want to decorate around a specific bedding I'd purchase that first then do the painting. Another idea, paint the walls a neutral color and then add a more vibrant color that matches the bedding up half the wall. I don't know about you but I don't want to be fixing up a room well into my pregnancy!

Kristibell-Congrats!

Progress....
I guess on a good note we are being made to fix up the exterior of the house by the neighborhood association. We are getting all new siding put up and having the kitchen remodeled soon. Actually this works out great since we plan to TTC this summer. Now all I need is another job and vehicle and we are good to go! It's slowly coming together:). I'm making myself eat healthier and exercise more instead of concentrating on weight lost.

PookiePrincess

01-06-2006, 05:57 PM

Nursery Decoration

We have a spare room in our apartment, but it's not a designated "it will be a baby's room" because hopefully we'll be out of this place soon!

The "Blue nursery for a Girl" thread has been tugging at me for the last week or so. Blue is DH and my favorite color, so that's a strong possibility. But in reality, there's no telling what we'll actually do.

Mrs. Hill: I think I'd paint first, too. Pick something you like or that you feel sure you'll find bedding to go with. Or I like the neutral color where you can add some color to some walls later.

Little Angel '77

01-06-2006, 06:53 PM

Well, I might push this back... my newphews were just here

For those who will be TTC in 2006 when is your starting TTC timeframe?
April 2006-June, if nothing happens, Not sure when we will try again.

jnettie

01-07-2006, 08:35 PM

honeygirl

01-08-2006, 08:14 AM

Jnettie - OT but are you my WC coupon buddy? (I am anneg on WC)

eli1126

01-08-2006, 08:34 AM

Decorating a Nursery
Oh, man, our place is so small, I have no idea where we'd put a baby now! That's one major reason why we're waiting. I think we'd have to get rid of some major pieces of furniture to fit a crib in here!

This is why I know I'll be very pg when the room actually gets made into a nursery! We don't have anything in the room, but I know we won't get the ambition until we have no choice :rolleyes:

Beth

LeslieandPaul

01-08-2006, 11:27 AM

I need a new home before I can create a nursery, and by that time I'll hopefully be pregnant! We already have a dresser (that will serve as a change table once there's a changing pad on top) that I used until I moved away from home, and belonged to someone in my family before that.

jnettie

01-08-2006, 02:38 PM

Jnettie - OT but are you my WC coupon buddy? (I am anneg on WC)
Hey! Yes I am! How funny! I was just clipping for you today!

/hyjack

honeygirl

01-08-2006, 03:19 PM

Hey! Yes I am! How funny! I was just clipping for you today!

/hyjack

Sadly I'm jumping the train (I just posted this week about it). With my move in 3 months I'm too busy to keep up. I may join CC's train later this year.

You were a super coupon buddy, seriously you sent more coupons than my prior 2 people combined!

/hyjack :)

stevesbabygirl

01-08-2006, 04:07 PM

Our guest room, which will be turned into our nursery, has a nice sage green on the walls, perfect for boys or girls, but I am also a huge fan of blue in a girl's room. I'm thinking of doing green on the bottom half and blue on the top half, separated by a wallpaper border. That way, it kinda looks like grass and sky, and I can put my Classic Pooh wallpaper murals up.

Sab

01-08-2006, 09:41 PM

Hello ladies! I'm new to these boards, and I guess I'm a lady in waiting (and not waiting as patiently as I should). Here is the obligatory info:
Sab
Me: Sabrina, 20
DH: Nate, 25
Married: August 6, 2005
TTC: who knows... sigh
I know we need to wait to have a baby, but we both love children and are kind of begrudgingly waiting until we have the finances. Well, I don't know what else to say, so I suppose I should just keep this short...thanks for letting me join in!

stevesbabygirl

01-08-2006, 11:04 PM

Welcome Sabrina :D! Do you like your name? The reason I ask is because it's my favorite girl's name! Also, do you have any nicknames?

laurenc

01-09-2006, 02:41 PM

nursery decoration:

i'd like to do a bumblebee theme -- there's a story behind it. when DH and i were dating, i wanted to decorate my dorm room with a poster featuring a bee, and it said "bee happy." but the poster was overpriced and i didn't want to spend that much money on it. so DH surprised me by using a giant piece of construction paper and crayons and recreated the bee poster. a few things are not quite proportioned correctly, but it's a cute picture that we have hanging up in our kitchen. so, i think a bumblebee theme for a nursery would be sweet! :)

SQ2

01-09-2006, 04:16 PM

For those who will be TTC in 2006 when is your starting TTC timeframe?

*Went off the pill Nov. 2005 and started charting. Will be TTC Sept. 2006 at the earliest.

What do you look forward to in 2006 (other than TTC for those of you will TTC next year)?

*Visiting a good friend in San Diego in March
*Parents and ILs visit in May
*Trip to England for a wedding in June and then Germany to visit our good friend
*10 year high school reunion (and trip home) this summer
*Possible vacation trip to my aunt and uncle's remote Canada lake cottage
*Celebrating our 2nd wedding anniversary
*Celebrating our 28th birthdays this summer
*Good friend's wedding in September (I'm a bridesmaid).
*Starting my last year of grad school in the fall
*TTC sometime in the fall

honeygirl

01-10-2006, 01:00 PM

Ladies, for those of you planning to TTC in 2006 there is yet another family planning group thread for you! It is called The Maybe Mamas: TTC #1 in 2006.

http://www.constantchatter.com/showthread.php?t=13863

I'll still hang around here, but find that as I get closer to TTC (only 3 months to go) I spend more and more time in the pregnancy and TTC threads. Anyone else obsessed like me? LOL :)

Have a great day!

eli1126

01-10-2006, 04:17 PM

honeygirl Count me in as obsessed too!

Beth

Julss05

01-10-2006, 04:22 PM

Thanks honeygirl, I'll have to check it out!

Sab

01-10-2006, 07:38 PM

Thanks for the welcome, Heather. And yes, I do love my name... the only unfotunate thing about it was that Sarina the Teenage Witch was on tv for a few years growing up, so people associated me with that for a while. But I doubt any babies born now will have that problem! I seem to have a few nicknames: Sab, Sabby, and a few random people call me Bina or Brina.

I'm tempted to check out the TTC in 2006, but the last thing I need is to kick my baby fever into high gear...

dpangel33

01-10-2006, 08:16 PM

I feel ya on the baby bug... everyone's journals I follow is TTC or already PG.

Now that I don't have wedding details to look at anymore I tend to look at baby furniture/bedding/supplies even though we're waiting 4 more years :rolleyes:

Good Luck though to all those ladies about to start TTC this year!!

elissa

01-10-2006, 10:32 PM

Honeygirl, thanks for the info on the other thread. I think like you too I read more on TTC and the people that are pregnant the closer we get! :)

laurenc

01-12-2006, 07:22 AM

i need to vent a bit...

last night my DH told me that his cousin got his girlfriend pregnant. they are going to be getting married in late march and the baby is due in september. the two of them are in their early 20s, have been together for maybe a year and a half, and neither of them really seemed ready for marriage before the news. plus, they both like to drink -- a lot -- to the point where, at our last family gathering, DH and i were seriously concerned about the both of them. the girlfriend drank a bottle of champagne out of a big gulp cup!!! i mean, i hope she hasn't pickled the fetus by now!! as a LIW, this has been difficult for me. for the past 12 hours, i've felt like i was punched in the stomach. it's not fair -- a little voice in my head keeps crying, "but we were next! at least we got married! at least we have a stable relationship! at least we have our lives together!!! why do they get to go next???" which i know is crazy, but still...

DH and i planned to go to italy the week of their wedding -- with the brother of the cousin-in-question. so now that trip is off, because our travel companion will be in the wedding party and DH refuses to travel abroad without him (his cousin speaks fluent italian and is a well-seasoned traveler, whereas DH and i consider disney world our big day out).

and, to make matters even worse, one year ago *to the day* i found out that a different one of DH's cousins was going to be a parent. *that* cousin had married at age 21 to an 18-year-old, about two weeks after we did. when i heard that information, MIL said, "well, i guess my sister gets to be the first grandma." this time around, MIL said to me, "and now my brother gets to be a grandparent too. i'm the only one left who isn't a grandparent."

january is so not my month!!!

sigh. i'm just so upset. i know that feeling upset is irrational and i have all these reasons why, but the bottom line is, i feel like i want to throw up. it's not fair. i don't at all see them as ready for a baby -- i don't even see them as necessarily ready for adult life. but it is what it is... i need a little while to just be upset and then i guess i will move on. but thanks for letting me vent away a bit... you ladies are the only ones who really "get it."

eli1126

01-12-2006, 07:31 AM

((((HUGS)))) laurenc. After all this LIW business, I know I'll never look at another pg announcement the same way again. Deep dpwn I know when it is "my turn" people will be just 100% excited and happy for us because of many of the reasons you stated: We're married, financially secure, have a family friendly home, etc. Although it still doesn't help when other family members get to have their big reveal first. Hope today is a little bit better.

Beth

PookiePrincess

01-13-2006, 08:00 PM

I'm sorry Lauren! The only advice I have is to think about how you will be in a better position when you do decide to have a baby. I know it's hard.

About a year ago I found out my cousin and his girlfriend were pregnant. Mind you, the last news I had heard about them a couple of weeks prior to that was they had broken up. So, they had broken up, then she found out she was pregnant. I don't know much about her (but I know there was no steady job or college degree in the horizon), but my cousin is not in college and will never go. He was working at the local grocery store with a $6 an hour job, 25 years old, still living with mom. They brought a child into the world and are now supposed to be getting married. Makes absolutely no sense to me.

I have come to the realization, though, that just because people don't do things the way I would, it's not necessarily wrong. I just don't see why people make their own lives so much harder. My cousin and his girlfriend will probably always struggle, but I'm glad I'm not the one living that life. I chose what I chose for a reason. I saw my mom struggle with no college degree as a single parent. So I went to college, waited until I was mid 20s to get married, and will wait almost 2 years to try to have a baby. Nothing wrong with that, but it is hard to wait.

Squee

01-14-2006, 03:13 AM

Well I just thought Id stop in and say buh bye to this thread. I know I havnt been around much but I have been lurking. Thanks all!

Julss05

01-14-2006, 08:10 AM

I saw my mom struggle with no college degree as a single parent. So I went to college, waited until I was mid 20s to get married, and will wait almost 2 years to try to have a baby. Nothing wrong with that, but it is hard to wait.

That is a big reason why I took that route also. I see my brother struggle with his 2 kids, working full time and going to school full time always tired, stressed, and with no money. It breaks my heart. It's hard to be jealous after realizing what a tough road some have taken by starting a family early with no education or good finances in place.

Batteling the bulge, anyone else trying to lose weight while their waiting? I need to lose at least 30 lbs. It's tough but I'm determined to make it happen this year. I went to the grocery store and bought a bunch of healthy foods and a new exercise video.

PookiePrincess

01-14-2006, 08:18 AM

I'm not battling the bulge, but I would like to get into an exercise routine before we TTC. I just think that having the exercise will possibly make a pregnancy easy. But it's not easy to get started, I have little motivation. And I'm still a little over a year from TTC...so I keep telling myself I have plenty of time to start that later!

DelSol

01-14-2006, 11:19 AM

I just started a weight lose program through Curves and joined their gym. I need to lose a lot and I am determined to do it. I can't pinpoint the exact month we'll be TTCing but I know it will be in 2006. I need to go food shopping and buy the healthy foods but need to read my weight lose book first for some substitutes for certain foods I don't eat.

PookiePrincess ~ start a routine now because I was always pushing it back and now my time will be here before I know and I feel I am not going to be at a good weight to carry my pregnancy when it happens.

Smittenk

01-14-2006, 11:27 AM

PookiePrincess..I am in the same boat...but we are going to start TTC this spring/summer so my time is running out on starting an exercise plan!! It is great motivation when the time gets closer though. I have been trying to get to the gym three times a week and then on the odd days I can't make it or want to do more I do my core secrets at home. I want to try and get into really good shape before getting pregnant.

honeygirl

01-14-2006, 12:14 PM

Well I'm not exactly trying to loose weight, but I too am trying to get into an exercise routine. I had 2 weeks off around the holidays and started working out regularly then. I'm 4 weeks in and doing okay (3-5x a week). Now if I can just keep it up!

So what kind of workouts are you ladies doing? I'm using the eliptical and videos (pilates). I tend to get tired of the same videos though, any recommendations?

laurenc

01-14-2006, 02:40 PM

thanks for the support, all -- i'm feeling a little better and am just trying to distract myself from the family chatter.

re: weight loss/workouts: i'd like to lose the 5 pounds i gained in nov-dec while i was laid up with a broken foot. i started going back to the gym this week. right now i'm just trying to get my cardio back up to speed, and i've been using the elliptical. usually i set the machine to the "kilimanjaro" workout (one giant hill) and try to keep my RPM at around 85-90 for 30-45 minutes. (then i go home and eat like a horse. ;))

LeslieandPaul

01-14-2006, 05:07 PM

i'm also trying to get into an exercise routine before TTC. I don't want to lose much weight (only about 5-10 lbs), mostly I want to be in good shape, and have those habits in place for when I am pregnant so I stay fit and bounce back into shape easily after birth.

Janey

01-14-2006, 05:54 PM

laurenc, I see you have already gotten some very good support here, but I wanted to chime in 100% agreement with what PookiePrincess said. You want a baby, but man oh man, don't be jealous of someone who is going to have to scrape and scramble their whole lives to make ends meet. Be glad that you are doing it the smart way and getting education/finances in first before the money sink known as a baby shows up!

As for the exercise routine... I'm back at it. My goal is to lose 25-30 lbs. before we TTC so that it's this 25 pounds I'm gaining during pregnancy and not an additional 25 pounds. I'm doing step aerobics M/W/F (monday & wednesday's classes also include a bit of weights) and the "Couch to 5k Challenge" on T/TH/Sat. I'm thinking I'm going to have to bump it up a notch and find a class on T/TH that I want to go to as well.

dpangel33

01-14-2006, 06:22 PM

laurenc I experianced the same feelings as you when both my younger cousins got pg. I was jealous and hateful at first, but now am more sympathetic towards them.

I am the oldest grandchild and for some reason I had it in my head that I was suposed to be the first to get married and have the first great grandchild. Well I was the first to get married, but both younger cousins just had babies last year. I'm still not sure if I was more upset or if my grandparents were.
I feel bad for my cousins and their babies now, b/c neither of them have a hs diploma and are struggeling to care for their children. It makes me glad I am working hard to build a solid foundation that will one day support my future children.

Batteling the bulge: I too am trying to get started in an exercise routine. I used to walk the dog 2 miles daily and since we moved haven't. I started back up on thur and want to keep it up along with some simple crunches, leg lifts, and arm workouts. I have a goal to only lose 5-10 lbs and tone up so I can try out for the Mav's Dancers again in July.

JLRenheos

01-14-2006, 08:21 PM

Battling the Bulge I just started working out 3 days ago. I like to do a little bit of everything like the recumbent bikes (precor), walk/run track or treadmill, fitball, lift weights & other machines. I'm really sore right now. I stopped working out for 2 mos. after working out for 8 mos. straight. I got a little burnt out with the amount of time & hrs. spent at the gym. I needed a break, but now I'm back at it again & I'm ready as ever. I'd love to drop anywhere from 30-40 lbs.! Now, if can stop eating like crap!

PookiePrincess

01-14-2006, 09:11 PM

I tend to get tired of the same videos though, any recommendations?

I haven't tried any of these myself, but I saved this thread when it was started in July, thinking I'd get some videos and try them out...Favorite Workout Videos (http://www.constantchatter.com/showthread.php?t=2556) Hope that helps!

honeygirl

01-15-2006, 02:33 PM

Thanks PookiePrincess!

PookiePrincess

01-15-2006, 07:55 PM

No problem! :D

artist

01-17-2006, 12:03 PM

What do you look forward to in 2006 (other than TTC for those of you who will TTC next year)?

Well, we are not TTC this year (2006). So far I am enjoying the change of what I am doing for work. For those who don’t know, I started working as a VISTA (volunteers in service to America) in December of 2005. If you’re not sure what that is, it’s kind of like the Peace Corps, but in America. I decided to do this in the same city I already live in since our house, dog, and now 2 cats (we just got another cat) are here, plus DH’s job is here too. I get a stipend which is of course not a lot. However, I was not making very much at my last job and I absolutely hated that job. Now I really love what I am doing. I guess the only thing is that I hope it will lead to something else as VISTA is just a one year commitment unless I decide to do another year. At the very least, when my year is up, I will be eligible for “no compete” status for Federal jobs.

For those who will be TTC in 2006 when is your starting TTC timeframe?

Like I said, it won’t be this year. However, whatever year it will be, I think TTC in July of whatever year would be cool because July is our anniversary month, plus the child would be born in April (so he/she might have b-day close to his/her dad). Also, I figure having a child in the spring would be ideal. It wouldn’t be too hot to be extremely pregnant. Also, it would be just warm enough so that once I was all healed up and ready to walk again, I could take the baby all over the place with the stroller and lose the baby fat. I just would not be too into potentially having post-partum depression, and ALSO having to survive an entire Minnesota winter (you know, having absolutely no sunlight)!

Decorating a Nursery!

Well, I haven’t thought about any of this much. I know we have enough space to accommodate children though. At the moment, our bedroom is upstairs. There is another “bedroom” up there, as well as this extra room. (Which is not a bedroom as it connects to another bedroom.) There is also a bathroom up there which is great! (There is another bathroom and bedroom downstairs too.) I guess eventually when we’ve had our 2 kids, our room will be downstairs with children upstairs. However, initially I think we’ll just be upstairs with the baby room upstairs too. As far as which room will be which though, I don’t really know. I guess it could all get changed around when the time comes. I figure the pregnancy hormones will kick in and that will be when the nesting will happen. As for colors, I am guessing I’ll pick something nice and neutral. Though I am an artist, I don’t necessarily envision doing some sort of an elaborate mural, but hey, who knows! I am thinking I’d probably paint before picking stuff out. I am thinking I’d probably want wood furniture and not white or any color, but something very simple and classic looking. And probably nothing too frilly or cutesy. I realize babies are “cute”, but I am just not into anything “cutesy”. Not that I’d do some sort of a super modern black/white/red thing either, because that wouldn’t be my style either.

So what kind of workouts are you ladies doing?

I don’t work out. I am naturally thin. I don’t generally have a huge appetite either. I don’t plan exercise. It either happens or it doesn’t. I guess I walk (again, because it’s part of the day, not for exercise) sometimes and I get exercise when I take the dog to the dog park. I feel we need to get our dog there more often because HE really needs the workout! He’s a lab, so he’s very high energy.

That being said, I’d enjoy trying a pilates or yoga class. Not so much for the “workout”, but because it looks cool and it would help with my back and neck pain.

I HAVE A NEW ONE:

QOTD: Do you ever have dreams that involve you having a child or being pregnant?

I have had dreams like that before. Usually the dream involves me all of the sudden having this 2 year old son or something and not remembering at all being pregnant or having a kid, but this feeling of panic like, “Oh crap! What do I do? When did I have a kid? Why don’t I remember this?” Once the dream was that we adopted a toddler boy. There were all these orphans and also my sister and her family, my parents, and DH. My sister thought she should adopt this one child who went right up to her, but my sister realized she couldn’t add to her family as she has 3 kids already. My parents decided they were just too old and tired to do that. So, Allan said, “We should probably take him home. Nobody else can take care of him and we have enough space in our house.” Then the other night I had this very odd dream that I weighed the same amount I do now pretty much (so I definitely did NOT look pregnant), but I was somehow 9 months pregnant. In the dream, DH was really anxious for the child to be born and couldn’t wait to meet the new son/daughter. However, in the dream I was very nervous not only about the labor that would happened, but I was confused as to how I could be 9 months pregnant, yet not have gained a pound.

jnettie

01-17-2006, 09:06 PM

So what kind of workouts are you ladies doing?
Workouts? What's that?

Seriously, I have become soooooooo lazy! I'm not overweight at all, but my energy is way down and I'm getting "soft" for lack of a better word. I need me a workout!

Do you ever have dreams that involve you having a child or being pregnant?
Yes, but they're always stress dreams. I'll be pregnant, but we don't have anything or DH leaves me. Or, I'll be holding a baby, and I drop it or keep hitting it's head on stuff. It's pretty aweful!

Julss05

01-18-2006, 10:00 AM

Workouts- I do Power90 videos, they really work! I also bought Yoga, Booty, Ballet which is kind of silly but fun. Those two work out all my body parts pretty much. I also bought an exercise dance tape which is more getting the heartbeat up than working out the limbs but something different to try because I get bored easily with exercising. When I'm too tired to do anything but still want a workout I'll do yoga or go for a walk.

I have vivid dreams of being pregnant to the point of physical and emotional feeling. I also dream of having a baby in 2007, and the first year of it's life. Sometimes it's a girl and sometimes a boy. If I dream that we have two children (which we plan on) it's always a boy and girl but never twins. I'm just starting to dream about as the child gets older and being pregnant again for our second child. It's weird that my mind wouldn't let me dream about that until recently just like when I first got the baby bug I'd only dream I was pregnant but I'd never have the baby. Sadly I also dream of miscarrying:(. I read somewhere that dreaming of our future helps us get comfortable with something that we've never experienced before.

LeslieandPaul

01-18-2006, 12:40 PM

Do you ever have dreams that involve you having a child or being pregnant?
I think I've had one or two, but nothing stands out in my mind. I'm sure once we start TTC, I'll have dreams (that'll probably stress me out!)

Janey

01-18-2006, 12:48 PM

Do you ever have dreams that involve you having a child or being pregnant?
I have very vivid dreams (last night a robin was attacking my leg to get to the shrimp I was throwing into the snow :confused: ), but pregnancy/baby dreams are rare for me. I'm not sure what that means.

However, just this Monday, night B told me he had a dream the previous night that we had a girl toddler and a boy baby, and the girl toddler got kidnapped out of our house. :eek: He said he saw the van drive away and he told me to CALL 911!! and he ran out of the house and jumped in his truck and followed the van, talking to 911 while he was following them. The guys stopped the van and got out and ran, and the police chased them, and B went into the van and got our toddler.

He said, "It was very disturbing." I bet it was... especially since he rarely remembers his dreams. Then he said, "So, we're going to keep the doors locked, right?" I told him we would.

SQ2

01-18-2006, 02:55 PM

So what kind of workouts are you ladies doing?

I am a runner so I, well, RUN! :D I run 5-6 times a week. I'm a huge eater too so I guess this works well with my running habit. I am planning to continue running when I get pregnant, as long as my doctor will allow me to.

JLRenheos

01-18-2006, 07:57 PM

Do you ever have dreams that involve you having a child or being pregnant?
I have before, maybe a handful of times or less. The dreams that I've usually have had, just involve me having a child. My husband on the other hand has had a dream that we end up with all girls.

laurenc

01-19-2006, 06:29 AM

Do you ever have dreams that involve you having a child or being pregnant?

oh yeah... weird ones, too. like, dreams where my newborn can talk and reason logically, or dreams where i've had a baby that looks like my cat... i once had a dream that i was blamed for someone's miscarriage, but then got pregnant myself and had to give up the baby to the mom who miscarried... i usually wake up from these dreams feeling very upset -- they are often pretty nightmarish...

dpangel33

01-19-2006, 07:44 AM

Do you ever have dreams that involve you having a child or being pregnant?

A few months ago I had problems sleeping b/c of nightmares, mostly about miscarrying or having abnormal pregnancies. It was getting so bad I thought I was going to have to seek professional help, but for now they seemed to have stopped and I can sleep through the night again.

motray36

01-19-2006, 08:12 AM

Just found out one of my co-workers is pregnant! Apparently, the last 3 times someone here has gotten pregnant, 3 more women in the office follow very soon after - so we'll see!

Do you ever have dreams that involve you having a child or being pregnant? - My MIL just told me she had a dream that we had a little girl with strawberry blond hair that looked just like me...and she's always thought we were going to have a boy first.

So what kind of workouts are you ladies doing? I'm bad, I don't :o . I tried for a while but I feel like I get so busy that I don't want to spend what free time I have working out. I know, it's an excuse!! I do want to start before TTC, so I can continue while I'm pg. We'll see!

honeygirl

01-19-2006, 08:28 AM

Do you ever have dreams that involve you having a child or being pregnant?

I have a very active dream life, sometimes I think I dream too much. However, I don't dream about having children, only about being pregnant. Usually in my dreams I am unmarried and the pregnancy isn't planned, so they are stressful dreams.

eli1126

01-19-2006, 11:16 AM

Do you ever have dreams that involve you having a child or being pregnant?

I have had dreams involving my nieces, but I haven't had a dream with a child I thought was mine. I do however, have a recurring dream that involves me losing a tooth :confused: I know that this dream started around wedding planning, but it has continued on and off since then :confused:

Beth

artist

01-19-2006, 12:34 PM

For those curious about symobolism in dreams, here is a fun website: http://www.dreamdoctor.com/dictionary/

I do think it's interesting though that many of my baby dreams seemed more like adoption dreams. Not sure what that means.

Oh, and I too have had the "baby speaks fluently dreams", but those were when my sister was pregnant, so they were about her future children.

PookiePrincess

01-19-2006, 03:26 PM

I don't remember my dreams very often, but when I do, they aren't really about being pregnant or having kids.

Annette

01-20-2006, 07:26 AM

Do you ever have dreams that involve you having a child or being pregnant?
Yes. I don't remember the details though.

So what kind of workouts are you ladies doing?
I'm bad, I don't . I tried for a while but I feel like I get so busy that I don't want to spend what free time I have working out. I know, it's an excuse!! I do want to start before TTC, so I can continue while I'm pg. We'll see!
I feel the same way! We'll go out hiking/biking on most weekends. We are hoping to get a treadmill so we can workout at home.

LadyD088

01-20-2006, 06:36 PM

Do you ever have dreams that involve you having a child or being pregnant?
*Yeah, I do sometimes. There have been a few that I remember. One was we had a little girl - it was just a day in the life kind of thing. The other was the other night about me being PG. Not sure what it was about though. LOL

So what kind of workouts are you ladies doing?
Ugh like a few of the other girls, I'm not. I too want to start before TTC'ing (which means I need to start NOW) I am trying to work it into my schedule because I would really like to keep it up while PG.

Deb

aam64

01-20-2006, 07:38 PM

Do you ever have dreams that involve you having a child or being pregnant?

I've totally had pregnancy/baby dreams. When I was in college, before I met DH, I had this recurring dream that I had a baby boy and he was able to walk as soon as he was born. It was always stressful because I wasn't married and didn't have a boyfriend and had no idea how I'd managed to get pregnant.
I haven't had many lately, but DH woke up earlier this week and told me that he just had a dream we had a baby boy and named him Sandy. He was like "We can NOT do that!" :p I don't think I'll have a problem with that one.

stevesbabygirl

01-20-2006, 07:46 PM

Do you ever have dreams that involve you having a child or being pregnant?
Yeah, I've had some weird ones that involve either freaking out because I'm 8 months pregnant and have not gone to any prenatal care appointments, or all of a sudden having a kid who's a year old and I have no idea where s/he came from.

So what kind of workouts are you ladies doing?
One of my resolutions was to work out at least 3 times a week, and that hasn't really happened :rolleyes:.

filmgirl7

01-22-2006, 06:11 AM

Ok, I really AM a lady in waiting now. DH and I finally got married on
January 7th!!! We decided we're going to wait until about August, since i'm planning to change jobs. I thought that would bother me but I don't mind as much as I used to....I know the time will come fast enough, and we have much to do to get ready!

So what kind of workouts are you ladies doing?
I know that I HAVE to work out during pregnancy if I want to stay sane. So, for now, I have a gym membership and I run about four times a week, and then I lift weights. I would love to lose 20 lbs. before ttc, but we'll see. DH and I will be training to do a 5K in March and hopefully a longer race over the summer.

DelSol

01-22-2006, 10:20 AM

Do you ever have dreams that involve you having a child or being pregnant?
I've had them. I'm always in labor and then I have the baby and they say it's a girl but I never get to see her. I'll wake up and have to go to the bathroom very bad.

What kind of workouts are you ladies doing?
I joined Curves, I only went once last week. I was sick one day with a horrible headache, the other day I went out to dinner with friends, I had self-defense class on Thursday and Friday I got home and DH wanted to go out to eat. I am going to be better this week by going Monday, Wednesday & Friday, I wish they were open a little bit later (I think they close around 7:30/8PM and open on Sunday's.

Congratulations FilmGirl7!!!!

stevesbabygirl

01-22-2006, 11:30 AM

Congratulations Filmgirl!

LadyD088

01-22-2006, 01:47 PM

Welcome back FilmGirl!!! Congrats on getting married!! WOO HOO!!!

I just ordered my ovulation and pregnancy tests off ebay!! OMG, I just CAN'T believe the time is coming up SO soon. I have one more AF visit to go and we will be rocking and a rolling.

Deb

honeygirl

01-22-2006, 08:31 PM

Congrats Filmgirl!

Yay Deb, almost TTC. Did you find good deals on ebay?

LadyD088

01-22-2006, 10:58 PM

Hey Honey,

I guess it was good. LOL 20 Ovulation tests and 5 Preggo tests for $13 total. Figured that was a LOT cheaper than buying them in the stores. I'll let ya all know how they work!!

Deb

LeslieandPaul

01-24-2006, 09:42 AM

I was talking to Paul last night (he's in Thailand) and we were discussing housing (we want to sell our condo and buy a house or townhouse) and conversation sort of got around to kids. WELL, did I ever get upset. He indicated that he thinks we won't even start TTC for another year away. I had to hold back the tears. I want to start this summer. I can be pregnant when we move (lots of people have done-my mom moved the week she was due to have me!). I didn't tell him this though. Instead, I tried to get off the phone, and when I did I threw a hissy fit (crying so hard my face hurt, and legs flailing). I was partially upset because he wants to wait so long, and also because I didn't tell him what I was thinking. I guess I"m not ready to have kids if I can't even tell my husband when i want to have them.
It's really hard for me with him being gone all the time and only getting to talk on msn for a couple hours in the evening, and occasionally talking on the phone. I want him to have a job where he doesn't have to travel, but he would most likely make less money, and then we wouldn't be able to afford a house (especially with the cost of housing right now, but that's a whole other story-we actually argued about it), and our condo is no kids allowed.
Sorry, I'm just really stressed out, and needed to share my thoughts.

Julss05

01-24-2006, 10:06 AM

Leslie-Sorry to hear about that. It is hard when each person has their own timeline of how they want things to go. I can see why you need to move if you have kids but like you said wouldn't be impossible even if you were pregnant. We are supposed to TTC this summer as well provided that DH gets this other job he applied for. I was kind of hurt when I heard of the "stipulation." I asked him what happens if he doesn't get this job? Well then he's going to apply to some other job so we'll be waiting even longer to TTC. I was kind of mad, I wanted to say, why can't you be happy with where you're at so we can get the show on the road! But I didn't because I know he isn't and I want him to be happy not only with his chosen field but where he works. Anyway, I saw that you were wanting to move in the fall so if I was you I'd asked for a compromise to start TTC in the fall/winter after you move in instead of from a year from now. I don't know, good luck! It is tough. I think all of us would like to speed the waiting process up sometimes and it's especially difficult when you're waiting on the other person.

Sunshine

01-24-2006, 10:17 AM

I am so sorry Leslie........

I hate to have somewhat good news now, but we will be TTC in less than 4 months now:D YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I cant believe how soon everything seems now:D I wish we didnt even have to wait that long, but at least I can see it in my path now:p

LadyD088

01-24-2006, 10:33 AM

Leslie - I can honestly relate, somewhat. May of last year we were suppose to be TTC'ing however DH put an immediate stop on it. Like you, I cried myself to sleep and was in utter depression for awhile. It was also hard because two of my friends were due in August.

While I know now that it was a good decision - we relocated due to DH's job and the financials weren't what they should have been.

Sept of last year, DH (while at a Dodger game of all things) suddenly told me that we need to have kids in our lives and that we should start. Granted we pushed it off due to next month but the fact was HE was ready and I KNEW I was ready.

Its very hard when you are different wave lengths but there's got to be a reason why, you know? You just don't see it yet.

The only advise I can give you is to have a serious chat with your DH and find out WHY he wants to wait and then tell him your thoughts.

FYI, I totally plan on being about 3 months pg (if all works out correctly) when we have to move from where we are now. And you are right, happens all the time.

Sunshine - Isn't it amazing how quickly things come around? Gosh last Sept I thought Feb would NEVER get here and guess what? Its only 4 weeks away till I get to start TTC'ing!! OMG!! Its just crazy. Try to be patient...the months will fly by.

Deb

Sunshine

01-24-2006, 10:48 AM

TY LadyD088!!!!!
YAYYYYYYYYYYYY for 4 weeks away! You must be SO EXCITED:D
We are going to Vegas in less than 4 months, and I keep telling myself, before I know it we will be back from Vegas, as trips Always come and go, and then TTC time will be here:D Time does fly, it is just when you are waiting for it to go by that it "seems" like it will take forever! LOL!

honeygirl

01-24-2006, 12:00 PM

Leslie- I'm sorry to hear that TTC plans aren't progressing the way you'd like. I can relate to being ready before DH, that was the case with us also. When I was ready he would barely even tolerate talking about kids and kept pushing off potential dates (years really). I tried to be patient and slowly but surely talked about having children, reasons why, etc. I also prayed A LOT! :) Now he's on board and it is such a relief. I hope that once your DH is back home he'll come around soon!

al'sgirl

01-24-2006, 12:08 PM

stevesbabygirl ... updated info ... thanks!!! :)

Al'sgirl
Me: Andrea, 33
DH: Al, 35
Engaged: December 12, 2003
Married: May 22, 2004
TTC: 2007-2008

Changed from late 2006 since I'm having foot surgery with a long recovery time.

Janey

01-24-2006, 12:21 PM

Leslie, I'm so sorry you are in such a state. :( It can be so frustrating when you are so far apart from the person you love most on a topic such as TTC! I'm sure it just makes the physical separation that much harder. But - I think you definitely should talk to him about this angst you are having. I bet he will help you work through it if you let him know how you are feeling. When does he get home from Thailand? Maybe go out for dinner, and have a nice long talk.

stevesbabygirl

01-24-2006, 12:26 PM

Copied from my LJ:
Steve's aunt Arlene is in town from Wisconsin right now. She's a really nice woman, so I'm always excited to see her. We got together with Steve's family and had some Olive Garden for dinner, yum! Arlene is planning to bring her granddaughter out here to California next summer as an 8th grade graduation gift, and they're going to go to Disneyland. Since I'm still young, and love that place, I was invited to go along, woo hoo! Arlene can't go on a lot of the rides, so she wanted someone to go along to go with her granddaughter. Needless to say, it didn't take much convincing on my part :p. But then a funny thought hit me. What if I was pregnant at that time? That would suck, because then I couldn't go on any of the rides! I know it's a completely random thought, but still, there is a possibility.

stevesbabygirl

01-24-2006, 12:27 PM

Leslie, I'm sorry for your frustration. It totally sucks when they aren't on the same page as us. I have to keep my mouth shut sometimes because then my DH will say that I'm pressuring him too much. He's more open to talking about it now, but it still seems like it's a ways off.

Al'sgirl, you're updated!

stevesbabygirl

01-24-2006, 12:29 PM

Uh oh, Graco has a new pattern called Sand Dollar, and I love it! And it has all of the coordinating pieces too! Move over Tyler, here comes Sand Dollar! In fact, they don't even have the Tyler pattern anymore, and it just recently came out.

http://www.gracobaby.com/assets/images/product/8646SND2_z.jpg

http://www.gracobaby.com/assets/images/product/6A00SND_z.jpg

http://www.gracobaby.com/assets/images/product/9447SND_z.jpg

http://www.gracobaby.com/assets/images/product/3800SND_z.jpg

http://www.gracobaby.com/assets/images/product/2B00SND_z.jpg

http://www.gracobaby.com/assets/images/product/633SND_z.jpg

LeslieandPaul

01-24-2006, 12:33 PM

I'm actually going to Thailand to see him in 2 weeks, and I was hoping to talk to him then (and then we had our conversation last night, which frustrated the heck out of me). I think I'll still tell him how I feel when I get there.

Anyway, I saw that you were wanting to move in the fall so if I was you I'd asked for a compromise to start TTC in the fall/winter after you move in instead of from a year from now.

The problem is, it sounds like he wants to move a year from now, and then start TTC. I'd be happy to start TTC in the fall or winter. All I want is to know when it's going to happen, (i like to have things planned-my wedding was almost completly planned 8 months ahead of time) and to be on the same page as Paul.

Thanks for the emotional support everyone.

LadyD088

01-24-2006, 01:11 PM

Heather - Did you REALLY have to post that? You Totally know my style and I LOVE it!!! Gosh, I hope its available in the next 12 months because as of right now...I'm all for it!!!! LOL

Deb

Janey

01-24-2006, 01:19 PM

Leslie, take some nice deep breaths between now and then, and each time you inhale, be confident that the two of you can compromise somehow. And goodness - Thailand in two weeks! Have FUN!! I bet they've got some really good Thai Food there! ;) Mmm - my favorite! (See if you can bring home some recipes :D)

LOL Stevesbabygirl! It makes me giggle that you are so up on the patterns at Graco. Cute cute stuff, definitely.

Now I get to admit something embarassing: Baby Gear Confuses Me. And I'm embarassed to even ask the questions that would unconfuse me, since I'm not even pregnant. Quite a few times I've thought of starting threads in the Parenting section asking questions about the gear, but then I think that they will think I'm crazy. Which I probably am - who are we kidding? :p So for now, I see pictures of baby gear and my head goes: :confused:

stevesbabygirl

01-24-2006, 01:29 PM

Deb, it's pretty brand new, probably within the last month or so, so I'm sure it will be around for a while. If not, I'm going to be very upset if I miss out on it!

MrsHill, ask away in here :D! I know more than I should, as I'm sure some others in here do, so someone should be able to answer any questions you might have!

stevesbabygirl

01-24-2006, 01:30 PM

Deb, there's this one too, which is also super cute!

This one is really cute too. It's called Oxford Blues:

http://www.gracobaby.com/assets/images/product/7A00OXB2_z.jpg

http://www.gracobaby.com/assets/images/product/9452OXB_z.jpg

http://www.gracobaby.com/assets/images/product/3935OXB_z.jpg

This swing is really interesting, but it holds a baby up to 30 pounds:
http://www.gracobaby.com/assets/images/product/1A00OXB_z.jpg

Here's a better view of the pattern:
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0009Z3JRM.01.PT08.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

Janey

01-24-2006, 05:45 PM

OK. Here we go.

Are there good reasons to not want to get a 3-in-1 crib?

I've seen people in other threads say they do not want a dropside crib. Why do you suppose someone would/wouldn't choose a dropside crib?

If I get a jog stroller, do I need a stroller like the "Oxford Blues" one that stevesbabygirl posted?

What in the world is a Travel System??

Our nursery is upstairs, and our bedroom is downstairs. I'm hoping the baby will be able to sleep in a bassinet in our room until s/he sleeps through the night. How long can a baby sleep in a bassinet? And do babies usually sleep through the night after the 'no more bassinet' mark?

Why would someone need a pack-n-play?

... I think those are all of the questions I have. For now. ;)

stevesbabygirl

01-24-2006, 06:02 PM

Are there good reasons to not want to get a 3-in-1 crib?
3-in-1 cribs are designed to grow with your child, going from a crib, to a toddler bed, to an often times full sized bed. If you plan on having more than one child, that might not necessarily be prudent, because then the next baby that comes along will need a bed. I believe they are also more expensive.

I've seen people in other threads say they do not want a dropside crib. Why do you suppose someone would/wouldn't choose a dropside crib?
Not sure of the answer to this one, but my guess would be that the little latches you have to push to drop the side down could pinch little fingers. On the other hand, it is much easier to pick your chid up out of a dropside crib because you don't have to lean over a railing.

If I get a jog stroller, do I need a stroller like the "Oxford Blues" one that stevesbabygirl posted?
I think babies have to be a certain age/size before you can take them out in a jogging stroller, like 6 months or able to sit up on their own. I believe that they are more maneuverable, but a standard stroller is also good to have on hand. For one thing, they can hold a car seat, where as a jogging stroller can't (though I did see one today that did).

What in the world is a Travel System??
A travel system is an infant seat and stroller, purchased as one package, rather than buying them separately.

Our nursery is upstairs, and our bedroom is downstairs. I'm hoping the baby will be able to sleep in a bassinet in our room until s/he sleeps through the night. How long can a baby sleep in a bassinet? And do babies usually sleep through the night after the 'no more bassinet' mark?
Not sure how long babies can sleep in a bassinet, though I probably wouldn't keep them in there after they learn to roll over and/or sit up. I would say at most, a month or two. Babies vary on when they start sleeping through the night. Often times, they will start at around 2 or 3 months, then wake up a lot when they are around 4 months. I know mothers whose babies didn't sleep through the night until they were 9 months old, so it all depends.

Why would someone need a pack-n-play?
I think this is especially handy to have in travel/visiting situations. It can serve as a crib for the baby to sleep in while away from home, and it can be used as a playpen as well. They often come with changing tables too. Many of them often come with a bassinet part that hooks onto it as well, so you could use that in place of a real bassinet or cradle.

HTH!

stevesbabygirl

01-24-2006, 06:04 PM

Okay, so I was pathetic and went to BRU today to check out the Sand Dollar pattern. As expected, it wasn't as cute in person, but it was still very cute, and still #1 on my list. Since it isn't a travel system, I'm thinking of asking DH if I can buy one of the pieces soon, and then the other piece later. We'll see how that goes :rolleyes:. I was hoping to see the Oxford Blues one there too, but they didn't have it.

The diaper bag is super cute, and so is the high chair! The diaper bag has another bag inside it, so you have the dark blue one, and then the plaid one inside. It also comes with a little changing pad and a wipes case. Very cool :cool:. The high chair folds to just 7 1/2 inches thin, so you can store it anywhere! Do I sound like a salesman or what?!

LadyD088

01-24-2006, 06:05 PM

Heather - I HAVE to have that 2nd Pattern - EVEN better than the first. UGH, so my style!!! TY TY TY!!! You know that is going into my journal TONIGHT!!! HEHEHE

Mrs. Hill - Ok there are NO stupid questions!! I don't know all the answers but here are my thoughts.

1. Some people don't want 3 in 1 cribs because they plan on using the crib for the next child. I know, but to each their own opinions. I'm with you, 3 in 1 is the ONLY way to go for me!!

2. Drop Side? I have NO idea. Maybe a safety reason? I guess I don't care because I'm tall enough that if they don't drop then I'm ok.

3. Jogger Stroller - Guess its easier for running. Would you need another? It would be nice so that when you go shopping, you have a place to put the packages, drinks, misc...unlike a jogger, they usually don't have that.

4. Travel System - From my understanding its a stroller with a car seat that attaches. This is great for newborns so you don't wake them up. I think they are convenient and plan on getting this type of system. You can use the stroller after the child no longer fits in in the car seat (when you have to get the next stage car seat).

5. Bassinet - I don't know how long they are good for. Sorry, no help here. However, I don't think that babies sleep through the night when they are out of the bassinet...you will probably have to get up once or twice still (from my friends experiences)

6. Pack-N-Play: Think of it as an All-In-One travel system. Changing Table, crib, play area. They are great for those who have to travel with their child a lot.

Hope that helps. If I'm wrong, I hope someone will clarify and give their opinions as well. Remember, its all what YOU like in the end and what YOU are comfortable. And please, ASK questions!!!!

Take Care...Deb

stevesbabygirl

01-24-2006, 06:22 PM

DH said I could get the diaper bag :D! I was on the website, and kinda gasped (actually, I said sh*t :p), and when he asked what was going on, I told him that the diaper bag was more than I thought it would be. Then I showed him the picture and all the cool stuff that came with it, and he said "well, why don't you buy it?" Yay :D!

stevesbabygirl

01-24-2006, 06:23 PM

Deb, I know, I'm so bad for you :p. I don't think it's in the stores yet though because it's not available online yet.

LadyD088

01-24-2006, 06:46 PM

Woo Hoo Heather on the Diaper Bag!!

As for the Graco stuff, that's all good. I won't be officially shopping until we are PG so that later the better...to be on my registry!! Thanks so much and yes, you are just a WEE bit bad for me!! LOL

Deb

laurenc

01-24-2006, 07:21 PM

leslie -- i too am sorry you're dealing with this right now (this = TTC & house debates, and having DH be so far away). it's such a roller coaster, isn't it? what's good is that at least you both are on the same page about wanting kids in the first place and wanting a home -- some couples aren't even in agreement about those fundamentals! but i know, it's just so hard to add time to what already seems like an impossibly long wait.

artist

01-24-2006, 07:49 PM

leslie-
Yes, sorry about the frustrations! I guess I don't know the details of your situation, but it sounds like at the moment anyway your marriage is long distance? That must be hard! You guys will figure out something, but I do agree with others who said it is important for you both to be on the same page. I can also understand how that would be frustrating to not know approximately WHEN you TTC if you're eager to do that soon.

Mrs. Hill-
Thank you for asking questions! I am totally clueless when it comes to all this stuff. Not that I will be having kids anytime soon, but I swear I know nothing about all of this stuff, such as say baby "gear".

Oh, and to add to those questions, what is "BRU"?

And about strollers, so there is the jogger kind, that other kind that is photographed, what about this kind?

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00075RZUG.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

I think my sister always liked having one of those for quick throwing in the car. (I guess they are lightweight.)

As for young babies not being able to be in those jogger strollers, shoot! I always kind of pictured being able to just jog around after a couple of months or so. Guess I was wrong! Oh well.

So, my cluelessness got me thinking and now I have another QOTD:

In your family of orgin, where are you in "birth order"? Do you feel this has anything to do with your feelings about things like when to have a baby or your knowledge of babies? Do you think your birth order contributes to your fears/apprehensions or excitement about having a baby someday? (As for your "birth order" I realize not everyone has an easy way to answer that. For example, maybe you're the youngest, unless you count younger step-siblings. So, answer how ever you want to on that part of the question.)

I am the youngest. Not only that, but the youngest grandchild on both sides. I never had a baby sibling or even a baby cousin. Well, other then when my cousins started having babies. I have done some babysitting in my life, but honestly, not so much for little babies, more for toddlers and older. My sister does have 3 girls though, so I have had contact with babies due to that.

I do sometimes wonder if some of my fears/apprehensions are because of being the youngest. I fear I just won't have a clue what I'm doing when I do finally have kids! (Though I am sure a lot of it probably comes naturally.) I feel like I know so very little about babies in general. I do think I know a lot about kids though. I've worked with kids a lot more for various jobs and other things. But babies? Gosh, they just seem so fragile! They are fragile. I think I might be a very nervous parent the first few months of the first child.

Also, because I am the youngest, I've never had to deal with a baby. Yes, I do like babies, believe me I do, but when I think "baby" I also think "a lot of work" and "a lot of responsibility" and "no more freedom". Perhaps if I had a younger sibling, though those things are certainly true, I wouldn't feel so reluctant about it because I would already know what it's like to have to be waken up by someone crying a lot. Does that make sense? So to me it all sounds so foreign. The most I've had to deal with is a puppy trying to get housebroken.

My sister on the other hand, who is 6 years older then me and often acted like a second mama to me when I was a kid had her own kids right away. She got married at age 21 and pregnant at age 22. She seemed totally fine with it all and says they planned that pregnancy.

Interestingly enough, my mom also waited awhile to have her kids and she too is the youngest whereas I think her sisters had kids at younger ages and earlier in their marriages. Then again, I suppose my mom was a young adult around the time of the pill, so that is likely a big factor.

honeygirl

01-24-2006, 07:49 PM

MrsHill - I am far from an expert at baby-stuff questions, but I do have a comment regarding the pack-and-play. Now without the picture Stevesbabygirl posted I wouldn't have known that was a pack-and-play (PAP from now on), LOL, but my friend has one. She has a 2 story home and has the PAP downstairs. She used it after her baby was born as a downstairs sleeper (the part on the left side of the picture) and the right side thing to change her diapers. She says when the baby is big enough she'll sleep in the main part of it.

So it's not just for travel, can also be a handy-dandy sleeper/changer at home! :)

artist

01-24-2006, 07:58 PM

"Pack and Play" is a new term for me, but that does make sense that it could be used at home too! Good to know! (Our house is 2 story, so I could see how that would be convenient.)

PookiePrincess

01-24-2006, 08:37 PM

In your family of orgin, where are you in "birth order"? Do you feel this has anything to do with your feelings about things like when to have a baby or your knowledge of babies? Do you think your birth order contributes to your fears/apprehensions or excitement about having a baby someday?

I am the oldest of two. I really don't think this affects my feelings or what I know about babies. When my brother was born, I ran away from home on my tri-cycle.

I can honestly say that I've never been a baby person. Up until a year ago, I just didn't get the fascination. I never wanted to hold a baby EVER. (BTW, artist, they aren't as fragile as they seem!) I just couldn't imagine people hanging out with a baby and just talking to him/her. Seemed boring. I've had opportunities to be around babies. I worked at a daycare and made it very clear when I started that I would not change diapers. I always liked older kids (3+).

Of course, you'd think being the oldest that I'd be the first to have babies, but it didn't work out that way. I'm kind of glad it did because I've learned a lot about how I will and won't do things when I have kids from my brother and SIL. Granted, they have twins, but it's nice to see them struggle through and learn from them first. It doesn't make me as nervous about the whole process at all.

I really guess it was after my nieces were born that I really became okay with babies. I get the fascination now. I jump at the chance to hold one of them. I understand how big a deal it is when they can hold up their head and discover their hands are attached to their bodies. One reason I like it so much is it holds off my baby bug until we are ready.

So, I guess being the oldest has affected what I know and how I'll do things, but not in the way you'd think.

stevesbabygirl

01-24-2006, 09:22 PM

artist, not sure if you were asking what kind that was, but it's called an umbrella stroller.

artist

01-24-2006, 09:44 PM

Pookieprincess-That all does make sense! I do think babies are very sweet and I always think for example my friends' babies are great, but I really never been one of those going nuts over babies like a lot of other people do. But like you said, having neices is a little different! (And I am lucky to be the godmother to my oldest neice who was also our flower girls!) I think part of that is just that as my neices, they are MY neices. I know, they're not my children, but I do love them so much as they are family. So I think I know what you're talking about.

And yes, I too tend to feel more of a connection to older kids. Maybe it's because they talk? Babies are sweet, but kids get more fun once they get to be toddlers and older. Then again, I've always gotten a kick out of junior high and high school kids and a lot of people can't imagine actually enjoying that age group! (FWIW what I am doing for work now does sometimes include being around kids.)

stevesbabygirl- Thanks! I didn't know that's what that was called! I guess what I was wondering though is are they necessary or useful? I am just sort of wondering, how many and what strollers does a person need? There seems to be all these very different versions of strollers as well as the whole baby carriage thing.

Hmm, I guess at this stage in my life I look at all that stuff and either think "cute" or "huh?" but never about practicality!

For example, this:
http://www.babycar.co.jp/stroller-big-gara8.jpg
looks so darned cute, almost vintage, like something you could take for a nice stroll around the lakes or in a nice park on a Saturday afternoon in the summer, along with a blanket, some picnic food and a newspaper.

But hello! Snap out of fantasy daydream land! Cute as it is, is it practical and again, how many and what types of strollers, etc. does a parent truely need? Gosh, or what about strollers with fancy tops to keep rain out? Is that necessary?

Or, for those in winter climates, what about wheels/tires? When we have kids, we will have to consider things like snow and ice.

stevesbabygirl

01-24-2006, 10:20 PM

I think umbrella strollers are good because they are cheap and lightweight. That way, you don't have to lug around the heavier strollers if you just want to go out and run a few errands. Plus, I think they're good for older kids, like the 2-4 age range if you're going to be out all day.

stevesbabygirl

01-24-2006, 10:22 PM

OH, missed one!

BRU = Babies R Us

LadyD088

01-24-2006, 10:37 PM

Smittenk

01-24-2006, 11:45 PM

dpangel33

01-25-2006, 08:36 AM

In your family of orgin, where are you in "birth order"?
Im the oldest of two and the oldest grandchild on my mothers side.

Do you feel this has anything to do with your feelings about things like when to have a baby or your knowledge of babies?
Yes growing up I always thought I would get married first and have the first grandchild/great grandchild. I've always wanted to have kids right away, but reality set in and it's not feasible right now. When we do have kids I want an age gap of at least 4.5 yrs like my brother and I. Having my younger brother around didn't teach me much about babies as I was 5 when he was born, but as a kid I was just estatic I could change a diaper by myself :D .

Do you think your birth order contributes to your fears/apprehensions or excitement about having a baby someday?
I think it has made me more excited as I will probably (hopefully) have the first grandchild (I already missed out on first great grandchild :( , Im a brat I know :o ) Like Pookieprincess said Im glad I can watch others go through it b/c it shows me how challanging, rewarding and life changing a baby will be.

motray36

01-25-2006, 09:32 AM

Janey

01-25-2006, 09:38 AM

Re: Birth Order: I am the first of two. We are 3 years and 1 month apart. I don't think this has any effect on me wanting kids. I think the feeling comes more from a) being a woman and b) turning 33 :eek: next week.

Thank you all for the answers on the baby gear! That is fantastic. :D I'm so glad you gals are here to ask questions to, where nobody's going to think I'm crazy. Or at least if you do, you won't say it outloud.

We still have the bassinet that my late grandfather slept in when he was a baby in 1920. All of his kids, and his grandkids, and now his great-grandkids have slept in that bassinet. It is absolutely precious.. and I may be lucky enough to have that for a couple of months. Perhaps after that, a pack-n-play will do until the baby is sleeping through the night, at which point the baby goes upstairs, and the pack-n-play goes over to Grandma's and stays there.

Strollers are stressing me out.

I am really trying to figure out a way that I don't have to have both a jog stroller and a regular stroller... the minimalist in me says that I should choose one and be happy. :p I want a jog-type stroller because I do a lot of walking/jogging for exercise, and I'm not sure a regular stroller will have enough shock absorption, especially over the rooty-paths I tend to frequent. But the problem with the jog strollers is that they are pretty big and not really great for urban/mall type situations. I guess an Umbrella stroller would do... but then you miss out on the storage. I think it's time to come to the realization that I will likely have two and probably three (if you count the umbrella) strollers.

So here's the other stroller delimma. Babies #1, 2, and possibly 3 are going to come pretty close together. So when Baby #2 is here, Baby #1 is still going to need to be in a stroller. So that means FOUR strollers, because at that point I'm going to need something that looks like this:

http://us.st11.yimg.com/store1.yimg.com/I/barebabies-store_1881_44466380

And when I'm out walking for exercise, I guess I'll just need to wear Baby #2 while Baby #1 is in the stroller.

[I]What happened to my minimalist lifestyle?!? What happened to William Morris, and the idea of less being more? [/irrational panic]

... sigh ... Maybe I could find some of this stuff on Craigslist.

artist

01-25-2006, 09:41 AM

OH, missed one!

BRU = Babies R Us

Oh! Of course! (Too bad we can't make the "R" backwards though!)

artist

01-25-2006, 09:55 AM

Happy birthday MrsHill!!! (early)

I think it's just confusing to know what to do with so many options with strollers. I kind of like the concept of a jogging stroller. However, do you look stupid with it if you're just walking and not running? I've tried jogging before, but I honestly don't jog too often. Though, are those strollers better with "rough terrain"? Such as say a dog park? Which strollers are best at going up hills? My neighborhood is quite hilly! Oh, and my dad loves to run, so if I had that kind of stroller, maybe he'd take the kid while running sometimes! Which stroller is easiest to maneuver while also trying to walk a very hyper lab who tends to pull?

As for malls, I pretty much try to avoid them whenever possible. I suppose those umbrella strollers would be handy for that. Though I hate malls, I do tend to go to Target and the grocery store, but I guess those places have shopping carts. How do you bring an infant to Target though?

Oh, and it seems a lot of strollers say "ages 6 months or more". Do people tend to not put infants in strollers? I guess it does seem a lot of parents of newborns just carry carseats around, but that would get so heavy after awhile. I have a bad back, so the less carrying the better. Oh, not that I wouldn't hold my own child. That maybe should be phrased differently, but I hope it made sense! But to be perfectly honest, anytime I hold a baby kid, I do prefer to sit down because it really does hurt my back. Oh boy, that makes me think pregnancy will be a LOT of fun for me! (Not!)

artist

01-25-2006, 10:00 AM

... sigh ... Maybe I could find some of this stuff on Craigslist.

Sure, or perhaps there is one of those websites with "free stuff" people are getting rid of. You never know, maybe someone is getting rid of a nice enough stroller their child outgrew but the fabric is a little faded. (Perhaps one of the strollers you won't be using for everyday use.) Or, do you have a friend of sibling with kids who could loan or give you some stuff?

Which leads me to also ask...

As for used baby stuff, what is stuff that okay to get used and what is definitely not okay used?

For example, I don't think I'd want a used car seat. The safety standards change so often. But something like one of those bouncy seats or something? Who cares if it's used! Or, maybe you want everything new.

stevesbabygirl

01-25-2006, 10:26 AM

artist, that's where the beauty of the travel system comes in :). You just snap the carseat into the stroller, and off you go! That way, you don't have to carry the seat around, which I imagine would get crazy heavy after a while.

Definitely would not recommend a used car seat. Aside from safety standards changing, you don't know if it's been in an accident. High chairs, swings, pack and plays, and bouncers would probably be just fine.

stevesbabygirl

01-25-2006, 10:29 AM

artist

01-25-2006, 01:31 PM

artist, that's where the beauty of the travel system comes in :). You just snap the carseat into the stroller, and off you go! That way, you don't have to carry the seat around, which I imagine would get crazy heavy after a while.

The thing is, when I went to the Target website, this looked like the coolest stroller to me, in that it is the "jogger" type, but also seems to have some of those bells and whistles of the other types.
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000AMECSE.16._SCLZZZZZZZ_SS260_.jpg
However, it's not advertised as being a "travel system".

There is this:
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0000DCUUT.16._SCLZZZZZZZ_SS260_.jpg
which doesn't have as high of a rating from people who've bought it. Also, it says for "up to 40 lbs." Forgive me if this is a stupid question, but about how old is a 40 lb. child or better yet, how long would that stroller last?

That seems to be the only jogger/travel system that Target sells anyway.

stevesbabygirl

01-25-2006, 01:47 PM

The first one isn't a travel system because it doesn't have a car seat with it. I believe a 40-pound child is about the size of a 3 or 4 year old, so it would last a while.

Janey

01-25-2006, 01:51 PM

Well, I think I've solved my stroller delimma. I think. Maybe. I think I want a stroller like this:

http://mii.babyuniverse.com/product_images/pic/103/l103-85886.jpg

And the jog stroller can come from Craigslist or Freecycle. I will wear Baby #2 as long as possible, and maybe baby #1 will be walking enough by then that s/he won't really need a stroller.

artist... you liked the other carriage... did you see this (http://www.specialtybaby.com/sicrobdostin.html)? So pretty, but my goodness... $500...! Ya know, I thought the wedding industry was bad. But my lord - the baby industry really puts the wedding industry to shame. :p

LadyD088

01-25-2006, 02:03 PM

Mrs. Hill - Wait a second. Is that stroller for a Doll? It says it is. I am SHOCKED!!! $500 for a DOLL stroller? No FREAKING way!! Honestly.

Doll prams are suitable for toy use for ages three and older.

ITA with you regarding the Wedding Industry and the Baby Industry!! They know its a demand and will charge any price for what they have. So horrible.

Deb

Janey

01-25-2006, 02:11 PM

Mrs. Hill - Wait a second. Is that stroller for a Doll? It says it is. I am SHOCKED!!! $500 for a DOLL stroller? No FREAKING way!! Honestly.
Yeeep. It says: "The Oberon is a timeless classic, a subtle and stylish carriage worthy of any treasured doll." And $500 is the SALE price; MSRP is $700. Unbelievable.

Makes me feel not so bad about a $200 real stroller. :p

artist

01-25-2006, 03:08 PM

Oh my gosh! I am at work and trying reeeeeeeeeeally hard not to bust out laughing now! Who in the hell buys a DOLL carriage for that price?

Yeah, I guess if any of us want to get rich quick (don't we all?) by starting our own business...think babies and kids stuff!

I think I've heard for example that there are four types of marketing styles when it comes to advertising to children...such as commercials. I think one type is designed to get the kid to just whine and whine and beg and plead until the parent gets so fed up he/she buys the thing for the kid just to get him/her to shut up. Another style is designed to get the kid to appeal to the parent. (For example, "You should buy this for me because it is really educational...will teach me how to take care of a real dog...will make sure I get my exercise..." and the parent is sold on the idea.) I don't remember what the other two styles were, but I thought it was very interesting. So, when you DO have your kids, just remember that when they start begging for toys they see advertised!

artist

01-25-2006, 03:10 PM

I believe a 40-pound child is about the size of a 3 or 4 year old, so it would last a while.

Thank you! I honestly have no clue what different aged kids usually weigh!

Julss05

01-25-2006, 06:44 PM

In your family of orgin, where are you in "birth order"?
Oldest of 6.

Do you feel this has anything to do with your feelings about things like when to have a baby or your knowledge of babies?
When, Oh yes! I learned early on having babies was a big responsibility and wanted to wait until the time was right. Knowledge of babies, surprisenly no. I don't feel any more prepared than someone of a different birth order or only child. Why? I guess because although I have some experience with raising children they were not my own to raise. If I didn't feel comfortable with something I just handed my siblings off to my mom;), but you can't do that when it's your own! As the oldest I think it has made me very protective, a natural care-giver, and headstrong at times:p.

Do you think your birth order contributes to your fears/apprehensions or excitement about having a baby someday? Yes. I fear health problems that might exist either at birth or as they get older but being a sibling of that big of a family I'm very excited to be starting my own! The bond and love that we all share is something that can never be taken away.

I love the umbrella stroller! Why not have one of each type of stroller?:D Honestly all the new baby stuff has my head spinning. I can just see DH and I spending hours trying to decide on something!

Annette

01-26-2006, 08:06 AM

Janey

01-26-2006, 08:35 AM

Why not have one of each type of stroller?:D
Ka-ching! Ka-ching! Ka-ching! :p

So my mom called while I was looking at baby gear yesterday, and I told her, "Well, I think what we ought to do when I get pregnant is get a pack-n-play, which will stay at our house until the baby stays upstairs and then it can go to your house." She says that's a good idea, cause then the baby will have a place to go when it's over.

So we're talking about strollers, and she says, "Oh yeah - you have to have a good stroller." I tell her that I can't believe how expensive stuff is, and that the baby industry is way worse than the wedding industry. So she says, "Yeah, I remember getting a stroller that was really expensive. I don't remember how much it was, but Grandma Doris bought my stroller and I remember thinking it cost more than I thought a stroller should cost." I say yeah no kidding - I looked and saw the one I want and it's $250. She says, "HOLY CRAP!!!" Then she to ask me what this thing is doing that it's worth $250. So I explain to her about the stroller, and she tells me that she thinks Grandma spent $100 on hers. I said, "Well... comparing 1973 prices to 2006 prices, that's probably about right."

So then I said, "Well, lucky for you, the pack-n-play seems to only be about $100." She said, "Oh wait a minute - *I* am buying the pack-n-play?" I said, "Yes, it's going to be at your house!" She argued that it was going to be at my house first, and I said, "Right but you're going to let me borrow it." She laughs and says ohhhh I see how it works. Then I said, "You're supposed to be excited about this stuff!"

Incredible. No wonder people wait until their finances are in order before having a baby.

honeygirl

01-26-2006, 10:53 AM

Man this thread is hopping lately, I love it!

Well I spent some time looking at "baby gear" online last night. It made my head spin. I hadn't really thought about all the "stuff" involved with having kids, I've been focused on the getting pregnant part. :)

I've decided (for now) not to buy anything baby related, not even maternity clothes. I'm hopeful and trying to trust G*d that we'll get pregnant this year, but I also want to keep my emotions protected in case we can't easily, or ever. If I have a bunch of baby-stuff it would make it more painful. KWIM?

I did the same thing before getting engaged/married. I wouldn't even buy a bridal magazine until the ring was on my finger. :)

Have a great day!

PookiePrincess

01-26-2006, 03:32 PM

Okay, since we're discussing baby gear, has anyone popped into the diaper bag threads??? Who knew a diaper bag was such a big deal!

stevesbabygirl

01-26-2006, 03:56 PM

Haven't been in there, but there are some crazy bags out there.

Janey

01-26-2006, 04:22 PM

OK - I gotta tell you gals. I have never been one of those girls who buys expensive clothes. Other than my wedding dress (which doesn't count), the most expensive dress I've ever bought myself is a $195 bridesmaid's dress that I'll be wearing in May. I don't have a bunch of expensive shoes -- most of my shoes come from either Nordstrom Rack or outlet stores, and my most expensive pair of shoes are Asics running shoes. I have one purse -- it's black leather, and it got white paint on it from when we were painting the inside of our house in October. I haven't gone to look for another one. Designer jeans don't turn me on - the jeans I wear are $25. I just don't give a rip about that kind of thing except that...

I want a Petunia Picklebottom Asian Brocade Diaper Bag!!

When did I turn into a fad-loving, I-want-the-best-stuff, not-even-pregnant-yet girl? And better yet, how in the world did THAT happen?

ETA - honeygirl, I hear you on not buying things, and that is a very sensible way to do it. I haven't decided if I'll go that way or the other. I suppose it would depend on what it was, and how good of a deal I'd be passing up. Clothes are a dime a dozen so I probably wouldn't buy that... but if I found some piece of 'gear' for 75% off or something.. I might just go ahead and buy it, and consider it a gift to someone (maybe me ;)).

LeslieandPaul

01-26-2006, 04:54 PM

Smittenk

01-27-2006, 12:07 AM

Diaper Bags

The way I go after new purses I know I will be one of those mothers with 5 or 6 diaper bags! I really like the OiOi bags...those are my favourite right now. I am liking the petunia picklebottom ones too..I was helping my pregnant friend yesterday pick out hers.

Leslie...you definitely have to post a pic if you find a kate spade on on your travels!!

eli1126

01-27-2006, 06:46 AM

Diaper Bags: I haven't dared go into the thread yet, but I'm sure I will.
I am so guilty of browsing web sites and looking for strollers, car seats, baby gear! It broke my heart to read a RedBook article that said you don't need to spend a lot on that stuff , but to put it on your gift registry :( I want the cute matching gear! Around here you only get 1 baby shower and people tend to decide what they think you should have :rolleyes:

Beth

Julss05

01-27-2006, 08:01 AM

Diaper Bag
I've seen/heard of diaper bags that look like a backpack and are made of some durable material that not only I but DH would feel comfortable using because they have a solid color instead of a baby print. Something like that would be cool:).

artist

01-27-2006, 08:33 AM

Diaper Bag

I haven't gone in that thread either. Where is it anyway? Well, like other posters here, I am not into clothes shopping, purse shopping, or shoe shopping. I can't imagine I'll get all that into what diaper bag I get. (As far as what brand name, etc.) However, like the previous poster just said, I would care a lot about it being something DH would feel comfortable carrying. So, something that is either black, brown, blue or a color that is masculine enough or neutral enough. That and I guess I wouldn't want something that looks too much like a purse! Maybe a backpack style is the way to go? To be honest, I don't think I would want to carry around some cutesy baby print diaper bag either. So, I'd also prefer a more neutral diaper bag that doesn't scream, "I'm a diaper bag!"

DelSol

01-27-2006, 09:55 AM

In your family of origin, where are you in "birth order"?
I'm the oldest, I only have one sister.

Do you feel this has anything to do with your feelings about things like when to have a baby or your knowledge of babies?
I always thought I would be the first get married and have a baby but it didn't work out that way. I was previously engaged to be married in 2000 a few months before my sister and my wedding was called off. My sister got married and 2 years ago in July had the first grandchild. I think that should have been me, by now I probably would have had at least 2 children. Oh well, I guess I am better off.

Do you think your birth order contributes to your fears/apprehensions or excitement about having a baby someday?
I'm excited to about having a baby, I don't have too many fears but not having enough money plagues my mind. I also worry about being older and having a baby in my 30's vs 20's.

Diaper Bags?
Haven't even thought about it. I will have to check out the thread to see the trends though.

laurenc

01-27-2006, 10:53 AM

In your family of orgin, where are you in "birth order"?

i was the older of 2 children, 21 months apart. DH was also the older of 2 children, 29 months apart.

Do you feel this has anything to do with your feelings about things like when to have a baby or your knowledge of babies?

well, i've always had a precocious tendency -- i always wanted things before they could "naturally" happen, and in many cases i got them. i have always felt an intrinsic pressure to move on to "the next level" before i am able to actually do so. i believe this is a result of being the older child in complex ways that i can't really get into here. (therapy fodder, y'know?)

Do you think your birth order contributes to your fears/apprehensions or excitement about having a baby someday?

i hadn't ever really made the connection, so i can't say yes or no for sure just yet.

diaper bags

i want a vera bradley diaper bag!!! i've considered buying one now because their patterns often have a limited run, but i can't bring myself to be so bold...

LadyD088

01-27-2006, 11:08 AM

Diaper Bags?
Well, the cheaper the better - as long as its big enough to hold everything needed, that's all I care about. Just like my purses and shoes, I am so not a designer girl, its sad!! LOL

Deb

stevesbabygirl

01-30-2006, 04:34 PM

New QOTD:

Does your DH ever act like a total jerk when you bring up TTC?

I go through waves where I obsess over baby stuff, and TTC. My DH knows this, and this time, has no patience for it. He's actually said some pretty mean stuff over the past few days to me, hurtful things. He isn't always like this when we talk about TTC though. I think he lets me express it up to a certain point (remember, he was fine with me buying that diaper bag a week ago?), and then can't stand to hear it anymore.

Julss05

01-30-2006, 05:14 PM

Does your DH ever act like a total jerk when you bring up TTC?
Oh yes, I think it's the worst when they change the subject altogether and don't even acknowledge what's been said especially when it's something that important. I have a tendency to put the horse before the cart by planning everything out ahead of time but him on the other hand doesn't see the need in planning or even discussing something until we are ready to do it. This can be very frustrating! I love him bunches though and am realizing that getting pregnant and having a baby will require unplanned, unorganized, and uncontrollable situations. For example, I feel like I should go back to charting in May if we plan to TTC in July but I know he's probably not going to like all the monitoring to get pregnant and thinks it should happen "naturally" which maybe he's right. I will probably stress myself out too much anyway if I know exactly when I ovulate and still don't conceive that month. Lately he hasn't said or done anything jerkish when it comes to TTC I think because we are both feeling more ready for it.

Janey

01-30-2006, 05:43 PM

Does your DH ever act like a total jerk when you bring up TTC?

No, but he does not seem to have the same enthusiasm as I do. :rolleyes: I get a lot of "Uh-huh" type answers. I'll be really excited about something and say: "When we have babies, this that and the other thing! Isn't that great??" And he'll say, "Uh-huh." That sort of thing.

Heather, I'm sorry he's being a jerk. :( He'll come around.

ETA: LOL - B is hanging a closet organizer thing in our front hall closet. He just called to me, "You wanna see the laser level in action??" The laser level was an impulse buy when I sent him to Lowe's last week for some spackling compound. When he came home with it, I made this face :rolleyes:. So I said, "Sure" and went in there, and he said: "Do you see how awesome this thing is?? It's like Blam! Mark here, Mark here, Mark here and we're done!" and he was totally excited. I said, "That's GREAT honey!!" and I hugged him and he sort of got all giddy about the laser level and I said: "Do you see how you feel about the laser level? This is how I feel about the baby stuff." He told me he was excited about the baby stuff too and I said, "Yeah, but you're not giddy-excited, the way you are about the laser level. I am giddy-excited." He agreed that he was not yet giddy-excited, but confirmed that he did want to see the strollers. :p

laurenc

01-30-2006, 06:46 PM

Does your DH ever act like a total jerk when you bring up TTC?

sometimes. like, he'll be very exasperated, like in a "we've been through this a thousand times already..." sort of way. he's an engineer, if he can't solve a problem then he doesn't want to be bothered. and he can't do anything about the way i feel about having to wait... so sometimes he can tolerate listening to me babble and other times he just doesn't want to be faced with a problem he can't solve.

generally, though, he's been pretty supportive.

here's an interesting story: DH's grandmother is not doing so well, she's probably got alzheimers, and DH's grandfather was recently in the hospital for his heart. my MIL was at the hospital with GMIL and they were sitting in the waiting room... well, GMIL had no idea why she was there, what was going on with her husband, or where she was, but she asked my MIL several times: "when are lauren and tom going to have a baby?" i found it somewhat amusing that her brain isn't doing well enough for her to understand where she is, who she's with, etc., but she sure can remember that DH and i haven't yet reproduced!!!

PookiePrincess

01-30-2006, 06:52 PM

Does your DH ever act like a total jerk when you bring up TTC?

No, not really a jerk. He's never like that towards TTC. There are times he gets excited and mentions "when I'm pregnant" or "when we have a baby." It's actually cute sometimes. But I'm not overly obsessed yet (still trying to be in a position to obsess over building a house). I think about it a lot, and I know we are waiting for the right reasons. But when we do decide to TTC, I want him to be all in. I know people who pressured their husbands to have babies right away and it doesn't usually make for a healthy relationship (especially as parents) and I don't want that. I'm content with waiting. But, right now I try not to talk about the TTC thing unless he brings it up first. Then I know he won't take it the wrong way. Okay, that got a little off topic and long-winded...sorry! :)

artist

01-30-2006, 07:19 PM

Does your DH ever act like a total jerk when you bring up TTC?

Not really, but then again, I don't bring up TTC real often. And when I do, it's usually not specifically about TTC. I am more likely to say things like, "Someday when we have kids..." instead of "When are we having kids?" or "Isn't that stroller just great?" I guess in the ideal world we'll want to have a baby at the same time. Let's hope that happens!

But, sorry your DH is being that way. That's got to be pretty annoying and I suppose hurtful. He probably doesn't mean to be a jerk. Maybe he's just nervous or confused about it all, but is being a jerk due to that. Not that it's fair or right, but I bet he's not intentionally being mean.

honeygirl

01-30-2006, 07:26 PM

Does your DH ever act like a total jerk when you bring up TTC?

Sometimes, but not as much recently. In the past (when I first joined this thread) I could barely talk about TTC at all b/c DH would freak out. Now he's pretty great about the talk (since we're close to TTC'ing), but if I say too many baby-related things in one day he'll tell me that I'm obsessing. I'm trying to ease him into things like breastfeeding, maternity clothes, baby gear, etc.

Sorry about your DH, maybe it will get better once you guys agree to a TTC timeframe?

stevesbabygirl

01-30-2006, 07:34 PM

He just doesn't see the point in talking about and/or obsessing over something that's not going to happen yet. Sometimes, he's fine having the conversation, sometimes he's like "whatever," and then some other times, he's a jerk.

DelSol

01-31-2006, 09:15 AM

Does your DH ever act like a total jerk when you bring up TTC?

I'd have to agree with artist. I don't bring it up too often, mainly because my feelings get hurt and I get depressed about not having a baby. Occasionally, I'll say when we have a baby. On the other hand, I know out TTC time will be this year. DH is even selling his metal detector because lately he hasn't had anytime to use it then he added plus we'll be having a baby soon and we'll be doing stuff with the baby. It's the word soon that pisses me off because I want to know when. I want to know when he'll be back at work because then I will know when it will be 2 - 3 months after he goes back that we'll be TTCing. I have to say though he has been doing a lot of work to get our 2nd bedroom cleaned out and moving the majority of the stuff into his office in the basement. Hmm makes me wonder what is going on in his mind, he'll never come out and say what is really on his mind so it leaves a guessing game! Men!!!

stevesbabygirl~ sorry about your DH, one day he'll come around and surprise you. Plus side is you were able to buy the diaper bag, my DH would never even think of letting me do that, not that I need his permission, but he would never understand. I guess that's why I have never bought anything pertaining to "our baby".

LadyD088

01-31-2006, 11:09 AM

Does your DH ever act like a total jerk when you bring up TTC?

Well mine used to but now he's not. I don't get much time to actually talk with him about this stuff because he works so much. I think that probably helps. It leaves me to obsess and plan and get things together. I am Very much like Julss05 - I am a planner, big time. However, I do want DH to feel involved and like he has made decisions too so...I will lay off a but until we get PG (now that I've picked out all the gear, the bedding, and the furniture) LOL

Heather - Just hang in there. I remember how Ryan was before we got married. The word Marriage scared the crap out of him and he wouldn't EVEN bring it up and when I did, forget it, it was always a fight.

I think some guys just want to deal with it when they are ready and I am sure that Steve will be soon...just give him some time. Maybe layoff a bit and let him chill out. I know its hard but use us to share your obsession. Sometimes if you give him a little space, they come around.

Take care missy!!!

Deb

Smittenk

01-31-2006, 11:40 AM

Does your DH ever act like a total jerk when you bring up TTC?

Nope not at all...but DH says that he will be happy whenever it happens. He is turning 37 this April and I think he has been ready for quite a while.

The only reason we don't already have one is because we moved to Europe and he knew I wanted to travel quite a bit...he didn't want to take that away from me. We also wanted to be married for a bit before adding another person.
I have assured him now though that I am ready to start TTC this spring!!

artist

01-31-2006, 12:01 PM

DH is even selling his metal detector because lately he hasn't had anytime to use it then he added plus we'll be having a baby soon and we'll be doing stuff with the baby.

Wait, why does your DH have a metal detector???

Julss05

01-31-2006, 04:42 PM

Tonight over super I was saying how I wish I could just come home from work without having to do anything else. For the past 3 years I've been working and going to school and now I'm working and trying to find another job. Sending resumes and filling out applications seems to be eating up a lot of time. In fact I have an interview tomorrow! Anyway DH reminded me that there will always be something going on besides work especially when we have kids kind of like letting me know we shouldn't leave that out of the picture. He seems to be bringing it up more so that's good right?! I think we are almost ready for TTC......

I agree about giving him some space and time to get use to the idea. It's taken us 7 years of being together and almost 4 years of marriage for both of us to feel ready.

stevesbabygirl

01-31-2006, 07:19 PM

He dangles phrases like "it'll happen sooner than you know it" in front of me. What does that mean?! Like DelSol, I just want to know when!

dpangel33

01-31-2006, 07:49 PM

Does your DH ever act like a total jerk when you bring up TTC?

Not really although he has his breaking points but that's b/c Im a big whiner to begin with, so when I start complaining about people I know getting pg he starts tuning me out :rolleyes:. I don't think he quite understands how petrified I am that I'll never get pg again and I would rather find out sooner than later.

Annette

02-01-2006, 08:16 AM

Does your DH ever act like a total jerk when you bring up TTC?

No, but he does say that if he could have things his way, he would wait a few more years before TTC. He wants more decorations for the house. I told him that I'm not getting any younger (28 now) and my clock is ticking and decorating the house is nice but it's not that high on my list.
We've been together for 10 years and married for 4 and I finally feel ready. I just went off the pill but we are still waiting for the summer to officially TTC, although I won't mind if we had an oops.

miaclear

02-01-2006, 09:37 AM

Does your DH ever act like a total jerk when you bring up TTC?

Nope, in fact last night while laying in bed we were talking about it. It's coming up really fast for us. I'll go off the pill in March. Somehow we got on the subject of him teaching our children to speak Dutch and if I'll ever be able to master it or if he'll just have this secret language with the kids. So then for about an hour he just sat there and said Dutch phrases to me and helped me decipher them. I think I better get a head start before the kid comes since it'll learn 10x faster than me :)

LadyD088

02-01-2006, 10:04 AM

He dangles phrases like "it'll happen sooner than you know it" in front of me. What does that mean?! Like DelSol, I just want to know when!

GF, I totally understand. DH used to say that about marriage. So irritating. I would then just ask...well, when are you thinking this might happen? Just let S know that for your own piece of mind you would like to know when. And here's the important part...Don't HOLD him to that date!!! Its just a ball park figure you are looking for. It could be a month or two or even short than what he gives you, you know? This way you will at least have a general idea of when he's looking to start your family. HTH.

Deb

DelSol

02-01-2006, 10:29 AM

Wait, why does your DH have a metal detector???

LOL, he gets these ideas in his head and thinks he'll be able to find something valuable with it hidden in the ground like old coins or jewlery. All he found were some coins and they were'd old. :rolleyes: I'm sad to see him give up a hobby but happy to get some more stuff cleaned out of the townhouse.

stevesbabygirl

02-03-2006, 07:52 PM

MrsWilson

02-03-2006, 08:01 PM

Heather--I am SO sorry, but I laughed my head off at your husband! I can totally picture mind doing the same thing. I bite my tongue a lot trying not to say too much. Is Steve going to submit the requested info?

PookiePrincess

02-03-2006, 10:33 PM

OMG, Heather, I would die if my DH did that! Did you talk him out of it???

Smittenk

02-04-2006, 12:10 AM

That is crazy Heather!! Maybe he just did it in as a round about way to send a message to you?? He probably didn't think it would actually get a response. Are you trying to talk him out of going any further with it?

stevesbabygirl

02-04-2006, 10:56 AM

Yeah, he submitted the info, so he's pretty serious about it. I'm just crossing my fingers that we don't get called to be on the show. How humiliating would that be?! I definitely get the message.

honeygirl

02-04-2006, 11:49 AM

Heather, I am so sorry to hear about Steve's reaction/submission to Dr Phil. Bummer :( Don't worry, if they call you can always say NO. But hey, then again, maybe Dr. Phil would be on your side? You could tell about the mixed-messages, etc. It could be a good opportunity.

eli1126

02-04-2006, 03:01 PM

Does Your DH act like a total jerk when you bring up TTC?

No, he will talk about the things that we need to take care of before TTC but, he never teases me, makes derogatory remarks, or holds it over my head. To be upfront about it, if it was a subject we couldn't even discuss, I would insist on therapy. I went into this marriage with DH knowing that I wanted children. If we couldn't even discuss a time frame for TTC without DH becoming angry, then I would be really concerned that there were bigger issues than having children.

Beth

jnettie

02-04-2006, 09:00 PM

Does Your DH act like a total jerk when you bring up TTC?

Actually, he brings it up more than me. I'm the one who gets squeemish about it. He's probably looking forward to kids more than me. But he's also from a larger family and is more used to being around babies than I am.

ETA I would so not want to be on Dr. Phil, or any TV show for that matter, airing out my dirty laudry! Even if he's on your side, I would want the world to know my problems with DH! Ack!

PookiePrincess

02-04-2006, 09:18 PM

I think I'll propose a new QOTD!

Do you and your DH agree on how many kids you'll have?

We've come to a compromise, but I think my DH is compromising to make me happy. He's an only child and loves it. He was spoiled rotten and is proud of it. He only wanted one child. That way we can spoil our kid, there's less expense, and that one child gets all of our attention.

I'm not an only child and think life would have been completely boring without my brother. I wasn't spoiled. I knew how to share. My parents struggled, but we learned from it. I don't think we're worse off than our parents were. I don't think we should only have one kid for financial reasons. I also think there's so much that you learn from having a sibling. My brother and I aren't really close now, but I know he's there if I ever need him. We were great friends growing up and I always had someone to play with. (even if we did fight a lot!) I want 2 kids so they have that.

I would have probably gone for 3 kids, but had to talk him into 2, so I'm not pushing it. So, I guess I did compromise, too. I just feel like he's not gung ho about having 2. My guess though, once we have one, he'll fall in love and want another one.

LeslieandPaul

02-04-2006, 10:54 PM

Do you and your DH agree on how many kids you'll have?

Yes. We'd both like 2 (we want our children to have a companion, since we both had that), and after that, we'll see if we want more (but I won't have more than 4!). Sometimes DH jokes that he wants 12 :rolleyes: Other times he says 6 would be okay too. What a good Catholic :p

stevesbabygirl

02-04-2006, 11:33 PM

Do you and your DH agree on how many kids you'll have?
We're thinking 2-3.

dpangel33

02-05-2006, 12:40 AM

Do you and your DH agree on how many kids you'll have?

At first we didn't, but we have since compromised...
He has 4 siblings and has always wanted a larger family, while I only have 1 sibling and always wanted just a boy & girl. So we've finally compromised and agree 3 is a good number.

Julss05

02-05-2006, 06:22 AM

Do you and your DH agree on how many kids you'll have?
Yes. We have agreed on 2 max, 3 would be a BIG oops! It was also discussed we wouldn't completely decide on having a 2nd child until after we have the first one. That way it relieves the pressure off both of us if we should change our minds, I don't think we'll be able to determine if we want two kids until we have the first and know what we are getting ourselves into;). Neither of us grew up as an only child but I would not be completely opposed to only having one. I think there are pros and cons to having one child or more than one.

eli1126

02-05-2006, 07:13 AM

Do you and your DH agree on how many kids you'll have?

We have said 2. I have 4 siblings and DH has 1. I always tease that my family couldn't ever win the family of four contests and that's why I just want 2 kids.

Beth

Janey

02-05-2006, 09:18 AM

Do you and your DH agree on how many kids you'll have?
We've agreed on two-and-maybe-three. It depends on how quickly we conceive, if we end up with 2 girls or two boys, and our sanity level after two kids. ;)

ETA - Heather, the Dr. Phil thing is amazing. How can he encourage you (buy the diaper bag) one moment and write Dr. Phil the next? Tell him if he really wants to go to a Dr., you'll find one the two of you can go to without a national audience... and look up a couples' counselor.

Or, here's a different way to look at it: Embrace it. Go on Dr. Phil, look fabulous, and show all the 10 bazillion other women in America that their baby obsessions are normal.

MrsWilson

02-05-2006, 09:46 AM

Do you and your DH agree on how many kids you'll have?

Fortunately, we have never had a problem with this. I remember dating and asking him how many kids he would like. He said, "Two kids about 3 years apart so when the oldest is a senior in high school, he/she can drive the freshman!" My thoughts exactly! FWIW, he has a sister nearly 10 years older than him, who he is very close to. I have 2 sisters, one is 3 years older and the other is my twin. It was nice our freshman year of high school to ride with our older sister instead of hitching a ride with Mom. My parents were only planning on two kids and got me as a bonus, which she didn't know about until she went into labor!

DelSol

02-05-2006, 09:57 AM

Heather~ I'm sorry to hear about DH's reaction and submitting information to Dr. Phil. You can look at the positives and negatives, everyone has wrote but I would definitely do some counseling. I'm sure I have written about this before but we go to counseling because my DH could not adjust to marriage and we've been going for almost a year now. At the end of September, our therapist asked me about having a baby (I was in a session alone) and said to talk with DH because he was thinking about it too. So beginning of October I asked DH what he thought about the idea of having a baby around this time next year. He said he had been thinking about it and it was a possibility. End of that talk, next week I said I was going to start to take pre-natals as my doctor said to take them 3 months before trying. He said for me to do what ever I wanted (or something along those lines, it's been a few months and i am trying to forget this). Well we go to therapy and therapist brings it up as being a problem not a positive turning point in our lives. Well apparently my DH has problems with it and didn't want to start trying in 3 - 4 months because he is sick, he has IBS and has been on disability for months now. The disability company is not paying him, they keep denying his claims so he has no money coming in and is racking up debt. Needless to say once I heard all of this I cried for the whole session and we went longer so probably an hour and a half of crying and crying myself to sleep that night. I had my high hopes brought down and stomped on by him. I couldn't even look at him and towards the end therapist left the room and wanted us to acknowledge each other and all I could muster was "what do you want me to say to you?" he knew I was upset and pissed at him. To this day, we can't bring this up in therapy because I cry, that is how bad my feels were hurt. I know they talk about in his alone sessions because the last time it was brought up therapist said did you know he wants to start trying 2 - 3 months after he goes back to work, I said no because he doesn't tell me these things. Then it lead to how I wasn't taking my pre-natals because of how sick the prescriptions ones were making me so I went out and bought OTC pre-natals that don't make me sick. And as we were leaving that session he was like yeah I don't want to have to wait for you to start taking your pre-natals, I want to get started making a baby once I am back to work. Do you know how bad I wanted to turn around and slap his face? After all the shit he put me through he had to make a comment like that! I just laughed and stored that comment in my memory.

So the moral of that post is go to counseling and you will learn a lot about each other. Trust me.

I'm also thinking of throwing this out the next time we are in therapy, If I am not pregnant by my birthday, in August, then he mine as well never go back to work because it tells me he doesn't want to have a baby. My birthday is in August, he has been out off and on since February or March but he went back from July - mid August and has been out since mid August. :eek:

Do you and your DH agree on how many kids you'll have?
I don't know if we have agreed but I would say 2, always wanted 3 but that won't happen considering my age this year.

laurenc

02-05-2006, 01:15 PM

Do you and your DH agree on how many kids you'll have?

not really. neither of us wants just one child -- we both grew up with siblings and want our kids to have the same. but DH says no more than 2, because you "shouldn't let them outnumber you." i have a weird thing with even numbers, i just plain don't like them, so i want 3. who knows. w'ell be thrilled when the time comes to have just one, so all this talk could be for naught. :)

stevesbabygirl

02-05-2006, 01:38 PM

Thanks everyone for your advice and support! DH and I used to go to counseling, and it doesn't sound like a bad idea to start up again. I should probably clarify that DH does want to have kids; we just aren't even close to being financially able to do that right now. He works full time, but I only work per diem, so I don't have a regular schedule.

The problem he has is that he thinks that I am pressuring him to have kids right now because I sit and look at baby stuff online. Though I would like to start trying soon, I know that it isn't possible, and I completely understand that. He just doesn't understand the concept of wanting something that you can't have.

Aletheia

02-05-2006, 04:00 PM

Dear Threadmistress:
You can graduate me! I'm due 8/30/06.

stevesbabygirl

02-05-2006, 04:17 PM

Congrats, I will add you to the graduates section :D!

SlvSpring

02-05-2006, 06:03 PM

Hi, I just found this thread today and would love to be added!

SlvSpring
Me: Oona, 25
DH: Josh, 27
Engaged: June 20, 2004
Married: July 30, 2005
TTC: 6/07 or 06/08 ?? Still unsure

Hello everyone!! DH and I are both in school right now (me to finish up my B.A. and DH to get a second degree, he has decided to become a teacher). So we are going to see how long that takes and then I think we will TTC. Also, we can't afford to have one of us stay at home, but I would like the baby to be 5-6 months before starting daycare. Since we don't have family close by to help watch the baby, I thought if we could work it so the baby was born March-Aprilish, I could stay home for 3 months for Maternity Leave and DH would be home for the summer (being a teacher). You can tell I have thought way too much about this...that's why I am here!

Let's see if I can find the last question to answer...

Do you and your DH agree how many kids you'll have?

We are starting to. I am an only child of older parents, so I was often lonely and always wanted a sibling. So I think 2 is perfect (I don't think I could handle more than that!) On the other hand DH had an older sister who was mean to him and they don't have the best relationship (if thought they do really love each other) so he thinks 1 is best. I think that he has finally come around though.... so it will be 2.:)

stevesbabygirl

02-05-2006, 06:40 PM

Welcome Oona :D! What part of Orange County do you live in? I grew up in Lake Forest.

SlvSpring

02-05-2006, 09:16 PM

Thanks for the welcome!!:)

We live in Anaheim.

artist

02-07-2006, 09:43 AM

Okay, I have to tell you ladies something. My DH has gotten so annoyed with my constant baby obsession, HE WROTE TO DR PHIL :eek:! I'm not even making this up. The topic was "do you have a good marriage except for one issue?", so he wrote about my baby obsession. They emailed him back the next day wanting more details, pictures of us, etc. I sincerely hope that we don't make it onto the show. I'm so embarrassed, and I don't want the whole damn world knowing!

Just remember that you don't have to actually go on the show! You can always refuse. I wouldn't want to be on that show. I would say don't agree to it unless you're actually comfortable with that. But if you do go on the show, tell us so we can watch it!:D

stevesbabygirl

02-07-2006, 10:09 AM

But if you do go on the show, tell us so we can watch it!

Hahahaha :D!

Janey

02-07-2006, 01:20 PM

Yeah Heather -- no WAY am I missing that show if somebody I "know" is going to be on!! :D

stevesbabygirl

02-10-2006, 05:17 PM

Last night, Steve and I were having a conversation about my lack of interest in "being together." He knows that I'm tired of taking BCPs, but has been too nervous to try anything else. I've brought up charting before, and he was leery of it and unwilling to explore the possibility. So check out what I bought today:

http://a1204.g.akamai.net/7/1204/1401/05101311011/images.barnesandnoble.com/images/10230000/10235947.jpg

Yeah, we agreed we'd explore the possibility of charting :D! It doesn't mean that we're going to do it for sure, but he's at least willing to listen. Hooray for progress! Steve was also very clear that this is not "a ticket to getting pregnant," as he calls it. I fully understood that this wasn't what we were doing; we are just looking for another BC method. Works for me, I'd be thrilled to get rid of these damn pills!

When I checked out at the bookstore, the store clerk said to me, "have fun." I said "you too," in the customary fashion. But then I thought to myself, what if he meant have fun as in have fun DTD! Then I felt like an idiot, but hopefully that wasn't the case.

PookiePrincess

02-10-2006, 05:37 PM

Also on the topic of TCOYF...just some info for all you gals who are planning to get it in the near future. It's about 450 pages long. I want to chart hopefully starting in about 6 months and it will take me that long to read that entire book!

Janey

02-10-2006, 05:38 PM

Congrats, Heather! I read that book in one day while waiting for the tile guys to show up. It's a great read. My nurse practitioner suggested charting when I told her I was looking for a non-hormonal form of BC. I discussed it with B and he was totally on board -- especially after I read him pertinent parts of the book so that he would understand what was going on. He loves that charting is very 'organic' and natural. I love that I'm not on hormones, and learning about my body. We use condoms during 'iffy' times... otherwise, we use nothing. It's fantastic.

Next step: Get ye over to Charting-To-Avoid (http://www.constantchatter.com/showthread.php?t=10925). I'm sooooo glad that thread is there! Those women are amaaaazing. :D

ETA - pookieprincess, it may be 450 pages, but a lot of those pages contain example charts. It's an easy read; it won't take you near as long as you think. :)

honeygirl

02-10-2006, 05:54 PM

Stevesbabygirl - Welclome to the TCOYF club :) I heard about the book for a while on the boards before I finally bought it. I haven't read all 450 pages (since I'm not menopausal for one), but I have read most of it.

When I bought my copy the clerk said something like "I'll say a prayer for you". I figured they thought I was infertile, made me a little uncomfortable.

I second MrsHills idea of checking out the TTA thread. Lots of great information and ladies to help look at charts. Getting off BCP was our first step towards baby making, so congrats!

-Anne

SQ2

02-10-2006, 05:55 PM

Yay, Heather! :D That's awesome news. It's a step at least, right? Enjoy the book!

Julss05

02-11-2006, 06:53 AM

Stevesbabygirl I think you'll get a lot of useful information out of that book whether you decide to wait or TTC soon. When I bought the book from a very well known book retail store the lady said, "You know that method doesn't work, I hope you're ready to be a mommy.":eek: Well first of all it's not only a book to prevent conception it's also a book to use to conceive. How did she know what I was going to use the book for!? I charted for 9 months successfully without getting pregnant. I'm not charting right now, we use other methods but I will return to it to try to get pregnant. I love that the book teaches the facts about how one actually conceives and doesn't aside from the obvious. If your DH is not comfortable charting by itself you can use condoms or a barrier method which is recommended anyway for the first few months.

stevesbabygirl

02-11-2006, 11:02 AM

Thanks MrsHill! If I hadn't been out to dinner, "being with" DH, and watching some TV, I probably would've finished it last night; it's such a great read! I got about halfway through it. I definitely plan on heading over to CTA.

Thanks honeygirl! Yeah, I wasn't sure if he meant it in the way I thought he did, but I'm hoping not, because that would've been weird :p.

Thanks SQ2 ;)! It's a huge step, and I'm excited to take it! I have you to partially thank for it, as I had mentioned a couple of months ago that one of my LJ friends was starting to CTA. Though he didn't want to hear it then, he's willing now, so thanks!

Thanks Julss! I can't believe that lady said that to you; how rude! You should go into the store and tell her that you were successfully able to prevent pregnancy by charting.

SQ2

02-11-2006, 11:58 AM

Well, I'm glad I could help a little bit. Although, I'm not really CTA yet, just charting. I'm not sure when we'll stop using protection but I still have a lot to learn about charting before I trust it and there's no way I want to be pregnant before September.

eli1126

02-13-2006, 05:48 AM

Heather
Good Luck CTA! I went off Depo in July and told DH "No More Hormonal BC for me." What a difference in my body. I still have some lingering side effects from the Depo, but everything *works* so much better ;)

Beth

jnettie

02-13-2006, 06:26 AM

As for the Q...DH always jokes that he wants a dozen :eek: while I don't want more than 2! But the truth is that DH does want 3 to 4 because he has a large family, as in lots of aunt and uncles, but there are few cousins and he wants to insure a large family in the future! But I don't want to spend most of my 30s having babies as we probably won't start until I'm nearly 30 anyway.

About TCOYF...I can't believe that people are so rude when you buy that book! I mean, it's one thing to comment on a novel, but quite another to comment on a fertility book! I think I may get it, as BCPs are wreaking havok on our sex life, but I'll order it online!

artist

02-14-2006, 09:29 AM

Do you and your DH agree on how many kids you'll have

I would say we do. The consensus seems to be two kids. We both worry about world population for one thing. I also think 3 or more sounds so stressful. Not that others aren't able to handle that many, but I don't think I am up for that challenge. I do think an only child really can turn out quite well, and I know there are certainly advantages to that, but I think part of the reason we both want 2 is that we both are so close to our own siblings and would like for our kids to have a sibling. That and I think we both just want more than 1. I suppose if I were ever to consider having more than 2 kids, it would have to be an adoption for the third one. Or, I guess if I had twins in my second pregnancy. I guess if I ever did have a third (aside from adoption or twins in the second pregnancy) it would likely be an "oops" type of thing. However, I do use birth control and DH is not opposed to a vasectomy when we decide our family is complete.

Which leads me now to another QOTD:

When you and DH decide your family is complete, do you know if he would be willing to get a vasectomy?

The reason I ask that is because apparently both my dad and my BIL wouldn't do it even though my mom and sister really wanted them too. I think it's a fair request considering my mom and sister went through their pregnancies and labor as well as using some sort of birth control, perhaps hormonal on their own bodies.

So, due to their frustration, I asked DH if he would be willing to do that someday. Without even thinking about it, he said absolutely he would be willing to do that. Knowing that, I feel relieved. Just curious if anyone else has talked about that issue with their DHs.

SwiftyOWB

02-14-2006, 10:19 AM

Do you and your DH agree on how many kids you'll have

We go back and forth between 2, 3 and 4. We both have 2 siblings. I do not want to have 3 children b/c someone always gets left out. He thinks it is the perfect family. I would like to have 2 biological children and if we would like to extend our family beyond that I would like to adopt 2 from Central or South America, my husband is Hispanic. DH had a horrible experience with his HS girlfriends brother who was adopted at age 3 and always had HUGE behavioral and emotional problems. We shall see.

When you and DH decide your family is complete, do you know if he would be willing to get a vasectomy?
We have talked about this as well. My mother had her tubes tied when my younger brother was born and I have always thought that was what we would do. Now that I have an IUD I think I might consider get another one after the birth of our second before I permanently restrict my fertility.

LadyD088

02-14-2006, 10:45 AM

Do you and your DH agree on how many kids you'll have
*Well, I am an only child so I would love to have as many kids as we can (money and room wise) My ultimate would be 5 kids. Right now, we are settled on around 3.

When you and DH decide your family is complete, do you know if he would be willing to get a vasectomy?
*Gosh, you know, I never even thought of this. I am not sure how DH feels about it but I agree with you, Artist, that we go through the pregnancies and labor as well as the BC...why can't they take on this portion? This will be a conversation I will have with DH later down the line. Thanks for the topic.

Deb

BrownEyedGirl

02-14-2006, 10:49 AM

I'd love to join you guys!

BrownEyedGirl
Me: Bree 26
DH: Chad 30
Married: 11/29/03 (dating since 1996)
TTC: Me: Mid 2006, Dh: Late 2006

I want to start a family so badly. My dream life would be staying at home with the kids, cleaning the house, running errands...I know it sounds so 1950's, but that's my dream. Dh just wants to be successful at his job before adding any add'l stress...which is fine...but successful to him means being #1...which is completely possible and very probable...but he only started his job 11/04! Just frustrating to know what you want but being completely dependent on someone else to be able to achieve it.

miaclear

02-14-2006, 11:06 AM

Do you and your DH agree on how many kids you'll have We both know we want two for sure. I'm open to three (I say that now) but he doesn't seem to like that number. However many I can pop out before I turn 35 will likely be the number :)

When you and DH decide your family is complete, do you know if he would be willing to get a vasectomy? Good question. I'd like to think that he would, he's a VERY reasonable guy. I do have two coworkers that had their last children knowing it was their last, and they both had C-Sections so while they were in there the Dr tied their tubes. I would do that if it happened that way, but I'm hoping not to have to have a C Section.

Janey

02-14-2006, 11:13 AM

Welcome, BrownEyedGirl! I know what you mean about it sounding 1950's but still being your dream. I became a SAHW last August, and I'll tell you what... I never knew I could be so busy without a job!!

Re: Vasectomy... Yep, we talked about that. B has said he'd do it when we were ready. What a guy. :D

artist

02-14-2006, 01:01 PM

This will be a conversation I will have with DH later down the line. Thanks for the topic.

Deb

I hope when you have that conversation it goes well! My dad and BIL are both very reasonable men, I would say they are feminists (yes, I think a guy can be a feminist), so my mom and sister were so frustrated when both of them would not budge on the issue. I am not sure what they're deal was. Obviously my mom (especially my mom!) and my sister are done now having kids. I don't know if they are worried about losing some part of their manliness or what? But like I said, when I asked DH, he barely gave it a thought and said, "sure".

Though, someone did mention a c-section. I guess I could see considering getting my own tubes tied if I knew it were the last time I wanted to be pregnant and the doctors already had me cut up.

(Okay, now I am thinking, "Well, what if the doctors were doing a c-section, tied my tubes, and a couple days later god forbid my child died?" I know, such a horrible and morbid thought, but still.)

Sunshine

02-14-2006, 01:18 PM

When you and DH decide your family is complete, do you know if he would be willing to get a vasectomy?
We have already talked about this, and DH is definately willing to get a vasectomy!

Smittenk

02-14-2006, 01:34 PM

Do you and your DH agree on how many kids you'll have? Yep totally. We want two...I think DH would be happy with 1, 2 or 3. He is really laid back about the whole thing.

When you and DH decide your family is complete, do you know if he would be willing to get a vasectomy? We have kind of tossed this around but haven't actually sat down and talked about it. I think he will be fine with it though...it is definitely the route I would like to take though. I feel like if I go through pregnancies then he can go in for a snip ;)

PookiePrincess

02-14-2006, 03:22 PM

When you and DH decide your family is complete, do you know if he would be willing to get a vasectomy?

When I asked DH whether he'd get a vasectomy or I'd get a tubal, his response was, "do we have to decide this now?" I never got an answer, so who knows. It would be fine with me for him to get the vasectomy. We'll see. He's one of those men that doesn't want to talk too much about things that won't happen very soon.

honeygirl

02-14-2006, 04:45 PM

When you and DH decide your family is complete, do you know if he would be willing to get a vasectomy?

Interesting question. We have never talked about this, to be honest I've never thought about it. Nor have I thought of any permanent birth control measures (tubes tied). I'm still concerned about getting pregnant period, so no time to think about prevent pregnancy permanently. :)

laurenc

02-14-2006, 04:53 PM

When you and DH decide your family is complete, do you know if he would be willing to get a vasectomy?

whoah. that's a question we hadn't even begun to approach yet!

check back in ten years and 2+ kids later, i might have an answer for that! :)

DansGirl

02-14-2006, 06:16 PM

Can I join too? DH & I just, and I mean just this evening, had the talk about thinking about TTC. I have been saying, ask me when I'm 30 - but it seems to have hit me like a ton of bricks recently & I got stop thinking about TTC. Its still going to be a ways off, but I'm officially wanting to think of myself as a "Lady in Waiting"! :D Now I'm gonna go catch up on this (super-long) thread!

Dansgirl
Me: Autumn, 26
DH: Dan, 31
Engaged: December, 2000
Married: September, 2001
TTC: 2007-2008???

thanks for adding my info, Threadmistress - you rock!

dpangel33

02-14-2006, 07:04 PM

When you and DH decide your family is complete, do you know if he would be willing to get a vasectomy?

We've briefly talked about it before, but I just asked him and he said "yup".
Thank goodness there won't be any persuading there, now to just persuade him in starting a family sooner ;)

DansGirl

02-14-2006, 07:25 PM

Ok - well, it just took me almost an hour to get through the first 16 pages! I'll have to come back and finish catching up. Plus I've got to go to bed for some Valentine's Day-Night lovin'! ;) sorry for the TMI

But here's my first answer as Lady in waiting (sorry, but I'm digging that "label" b/c right now is a very in-between stage of life):

When you and DH decide your family is complete, do you know if he would be willing to get a vasectomy?

We've never talked about it, but I'm pretty sure he'd be willing.

eli1126

02-14-2006, 07:42 PM

QOTD When you and DH decide your family is complete, would he be willing to get a vasectomy

Yup. We have talked about this in detail because my Dad did...I know way TMI. But he also has had close friends who have had the procedure done and he realizes that it would mean much more recovery time for me to have a tubal ligation that for him to "go get snipped" as he says.

Beth

jeneca128

02-15-2006, 09:58 AM

I'd love to join too...although my graduation from here is REALLY faroff :(

Jeneca128
Me: Karen, 23
DH: Dan, 23
Engaged: December 21, 2003
Married: March 26, 2005
TTC: 2010-2011. (wish it was now!)

QOTD When you and DH decide your family is complete, would he be willing to get a vasectomy

We've already had this discussion and he said he is willing :)

honeygirl

02-15-2006, 10:15 AM

jeneca128 - Welcome!! Yes, 4-5 years is a way off, but just think of all the fun you can have with DH till then! I'm only a couple months away from TTC, but I'm OLD (and have already been married for a few years). :)

When you and DH decide your family is complete, would he be willing to get a vasectomy

UPDATE: I asked DH last night and he said "no". He said he had thought about this issue. I asked him to elaborate but he didn't want to. He said he'll tell me later. Now I'm interested about what he's thought about it.

I don't think I'd push him to do it. Honestly, I don't think it will be an issue for us. We probably don't have enough time to have more than 2-3 kids anyway b/c of my age. So all pregnancies would be welcome!

stevesbabygirl

02-15-2006, 04:14 PM

Welcome to all the new ladies :D!

DelSol

02-15-2006, 04:25 PM

jeneca128 - I'm only a couple months away from TTC, but I'm OLD (and have already been married for a few years). :)
I had to laugh because I must be ancient then, I'm in my 30's. :eek: My DH works for a place that makes baby products plus other health care items (I’m sure you all can guess what company he works for) and my sister was asking when he was going to make the next order, he’ll probably be resigning in the next few months, so I told her I wasn’t sure but I’d let her know. She was said ok because she wants to stock up on a few things and I said I wanted to stock up on a few baby items not that I need them now but in the future and hopefully it will be soon that I’ll have a baby. She emailed me back and said you better start soon your eggs are gonna be rotten. Comments like that would normally make me really upset but I just laughed it off and emailed her back and said I need to get DH back to work before we start trying.

When you and DH decide your family is complete, would he be willing to get a vasectomy
I don't even have to ask because I already know the answer, it came up a while back and the answer is NO.

BlackMagicRose

02-15-2006, 05:10 PM

I need to join this group. I am bitten by the baby bug and would love to talk with all of you. I am not even married yet! :( Here is my info.

BlackMagicRose
Me: Christy (26)
FH: Elmar (30)
Met: April 24, 2005
Engaged: October 28, 2005
Moved in together: November 20, 2005
TTC: If all goes well...September 2008

stevesbabygirl

02-15-2006, 05:13 PM

QOTD: When you and DH decide your family is complete, would he be willing to get a vasectomy?

I got an unequivocal yes from him, which kind of surprised me.

jnettie

02-15-2006, 09:05 PM

When you and DH decide your family is complete, would he be willing to get a vasectomy?
I used to tease DH that if I was having the babies, he was having the vasectomy. But I don't think he'd agree in reality - he sure didn't take well to the teasing!

I should find the link (maybe elsewhere if this thread isn't the right place). There was an article in todays NYTimes about how there is a link between getting your tubes tied and a lower rate of cancer. I found that interesting. Knowing that, I might do that once I've had all the kids we want.

DelSol, that was really a rotten way for your sister to say it - and certainly your eggs won't be rotten :rolleyes: but your fertility does drop dramatically after 30. One of the advantages of having a DH that once worked in IVF is that I know all about the negative side of fertility issues. Not that you can't get pregnant, it's just harder, KWIM? But isn't that something so many of us are facing these days? I know that I won't be starting 'til almost 30 and I have overies that don't ovulate every month, so I'm ready for it to take longer than most people anyway.

melnv

02-16-2006, 07:12 AM

Do you and your DH agree on how many kids you'll have
Not at all. We both come from big families (5 & 6 kids), but just have very different opinons on how well it worked. I love all my siblings and we are all very close. I talk to each of them several time a week. But....money was always very tight growing up. Same w/ DH's family. Plus, I was always bummed there was two many of us to go on Double Dare.;) I want 2, he wants 5. Not going to happen.

When you and DH decide your family is complete, do you know if he would be willing to get a vasectomy?

We talked about this when his brother had it done last year. He's ok with it now, but who knows if there will be a better option when we get to that point.

I know this has been asked but I can't find it.
How long will you wait after you find out you're pregnant to tell your family?

Smittenk

02-16-2006, 07:36 AM

How long will you wait after you find out you're pregnant to tell your family?

I want to wait three months just because I am a little superstitious. If my mum was still alive I would tell her right away though. I know I will tell a few of my close friends first (after DH of course) and I will probably post about it on CC...I am hoping that will carry me until I am three months along and can tell my family.

Sunshine

02-16-2006, 08:13 AM

How long will you wait after you find out you're pregnant to tell your family?
Well, I know we will prob wait for at least 3 months to really tell Everyone, as I have had the misfortune of going through a miscarriage. So JUST to make sure that everything will "stick" so to speak:p
But, I think we will tell my Dad and his Mom when we pretty well find out!
I will prob post on lj right away too.....

BrownEyedGirl

02-16-2006, 08:26 AM

Do you and your DH agree on how many kids you'll have
I guess the answer would be yes...we both want more than one, other than that we don't know what we want.

When you and DH decide your family is complete, do you know if he would be willing to get a vasectomy? He won't have to, I have endometriosis so I will either have to be on continuous BC or have a hysterectomy.

How long will you wait after you find out you're pregnant to tell your family?
I will tell my family right away, but I think we'll wait to tell dh's family until 3 months....of course I may have to tell a sil, I'm not good with secrets.

Here's a question, Does anyone else have a dh that keeps pushing back the date to start TTC?

LadyD088

02-16-2006, 08:27 AM

How long will you wait after you find out you're pregnant to tell your family?
*Gosh I would love to wait the 3 months but doubt we could hold it in. I know we would want to tell our moms right away and if I tell one...that's it, its ALL over that side of the family so...probably a few weeks after we find out.
I live with my mom so if I start having morning sickness, she would be curious anyways...hard to hide that kind of stuff.

Deb

DansGirl

02-16-2006, 08:46 AM

How long will you wait after you find out you're pregnant to tell your family?

I'm horrible at keeping secrets, so I'd probably tell my family fairly early.

Does anyone else have a dh that keeps pushing back the date to start TTC?

Not really - I think he's ready to go.

Do you and your DH agree on how many kids you'll have?

I'm pretty set on 2, but he wants more, but will be okay with 2, I think.

Janey

02-16-2006, 09:13 AM

How long will you wait after you find out you're pregnant to tell your family?
I will tell my mom and a couple of friends right away. If anything happened, I'd want them to support me. I'd rather have them know the whole time rather than find out I was pregnant and I miscarried and that's why I need the support. Other than that, I think we'll wait the 12 weeks.

I also might need to tell one SIL. We see her fairly often since she lives in town, and I think she'd want to know.

Does anyone else have a dh that keeps pushing back the date to start TTC?

Nope - we're both pretty set on June. Unfortunately, we don't have the luxury of time enough to push anything back. :p

laurenc

02-16-2006, 10:05 AM

How long will you wait after you find out you're pregnant to tell your family?

ideally i'd like to wait until the first trimester is over, but i've never been very good with secrets, so who knows...

Does anyone else have a dh that keeps pushing back the date to start TTC?

well, yes and no. on one hand, we are waiting to TTC because we both want for me to be holding a PhD before holding a baby. on the other hand, if this constraint wasn't "scheduling" our lives for us, i'm not so sure that DH would be quick to jump aboard the TTC wagon. he feels like once he has kids, that means he's a "real adult" and has to start "acting like a real adult", so as much as he wants children and a family, he's (understandably) reluctant to give up his comfortable life of doing what he wants, when he wants.

on another note, i've got 11 more days until i find out if i got an internship (and if i got one, where it'll be, and if i'll need to move for the year or not). keep your fingers crossed that the outcome is good!!! :)

dpangel33

02-16-2006, 10:30 AM

How long will you wait after you find out you're pregnant to tell your family?

Well considering I didn't tell them about my first pg/mc, I'll wait as long as possible, but probably after the first semester if I don't break down sooner.

Does anyone else have a dh that keeps pushing back the date to start TTC?

Not really, we don't have a precise set date yet as we're looking at waiting another 4 years or so.

jnettie

02-16-2006, 01:14 PM

How long will you wait after you find out you're pregnant to tell your family?

I'll probably wait until 3 months for everybody. Quite honestly, my Mom is a little too eager for me to have a baby, and I think I'll want to put off telling her as long as possible. But, to be fair, I think we'd have to keep it from EVERYBODY. Besides, I have a suspicious feeling my Mom and MIL talk to each other more often than I am comfortable with. Every now and again one says something in reference to the other that she really shouldn't know...

Also, DH's aunt jumped the gun once and announced her pregnancy before she even went to the Dr. for a test. Before a month was out she miscarried, and they then had to repeat over and over again to every person who congradulated them.

Does anyone else have a dh that keeps pushing back the date to start TTC?
Nope. I believe mine wants to push it up.

PookiePrincess

02-16-2006, 03:13 PM

How long will you wait after you find out you're pregnant to tell your family?
I'm horrible at keeping secrets, so I guess really I won't know until it happens. I'd like to keep it between DH and I for a while, but am not sure I could keep it in for 12 weeks. My DH is an only child, so it'll be his parents' first grandchild, so I'm guessing we'll be eager to tell.

Does anyone else have a dh that keeps pushing back the date to start TTC?
He's not really pushing the start date back. I'm just thinking we won't have a house by the time I would like, which is really what we are waiting on. But I will have my first baby before I'm 30, that's been my goal for several years, so I have 3 years to meet my goal!

BlackMagicRose

02-17-2006, 02:58 PM

How long will you wait after you find out you're pregnant to tell your family?Until we are in the second trimester. I woud tell my mom right away since she is so eager to be a grandmother, but she can not keep a secret and would end up telling everyone! So, I am going to make sure I keep it a secret and then I will tell my close family all at the same time, so my mom does not have the chance to tell everyone before I do ;)

Does anyone else have a dh that keeps pushing back the date to start TTC? Actually, just the opposite!!! He said he is ready as soon as I am :) He is a bit older than me though. I told him when I turn 29 we will start trying and he is happy with that. He thinks I will want to try before then though. We will see.

LadyD088

02-17-2006, 04:21 PM

Does anyone else have a dh that keeps pushing back the date to start TTC?

Well, I used to!! Last year DH said we could start in May 2005 but then it was a NO. He was a bit wishy washy but now that our lives have settled down a bit, he's be set since last Sept that this month would be it!! So we are just awaiting AF to be gone and we are ready to go. Can't wait to get started.

Deb

stevesbabygirl

02-17-2006, 08:38 PM

How long will you wait after you find out you're pregnant to tell your family?
I have no idea. My mom has a pretty big mouth, so I'd have to be pretty sure that the pregnancy was sticking, but I could see her getting totally pissed if we waited until the second trimester to say anything.

Does anyone else have a dh that keeps pushing back the date to start TTC?
NO, because I can't get him to commit to one!

Julss05

02-18-2006, 07:59 AM

How long will you wait after you find out you're pregnant to tell your family? I think as soon as we've had time to get used to the idea, it's been confirmed by a blood test, and everything looks okay health wise. I know the chance for miscarriage is high the first time around but I don't think that would stop me from telling close family members and friends. I think we'd tell more people after 3 months.

Does anyone else have a dh that keeps pushing back the date to start TTC? Not yet. Our first attempt at a TTC date is July so we'll see........

Annette

02-18-2006, 09:14 AM

Do you and your DH agree on how many kids you'll have?
Yes, we want 2 kids. I'm an only child so I didn't want just one.

When you and DH decide your family is complete, do you know if he would be willing to get a vasectomy?

I mentioned this to him once and he didn't seem thrilled with the idea. But if I never have to go on the pill again, which wreaked havok on my sex drive, then he might be more willing.

How long will you wait after you find out you're pregnant to tell your family?
Ideally I would wait until 8-12 weeks or so, but since I am so bad at keeping secrets, I will probably blurt something out the day I get my BFP.

Does anyone else have a dh that keeps pushing back the date to start TTC?
We'll see what happens when the summer rolls around. The summer is our first scheduled TTC time.

honeygirl

02-18-2006, 10:17 AM

Do you and your DH agree on how many kids you'll have?

Yes, so far we agree to have 1-2 kids.

How long will you wait after you find out you're pregnant to tell your family?

I'll probably tell my parents right away, b/c like someone else posted I'd want their support if we m/c. Extended family and IL's I'd like to wait till about 10-12 wks.

Does anyone else have a dh that keeps pushing back the date to start TTC?

Not yet, but as our TTC date gets closer and closer I am concerned that DH will want to push it back. We talked about it again last night (starting in end of April early May) and he was on board, hopefully he'll stay that way.

DelSol

02-18-2006, 11:15 AM

How long will you wait after you find out you're pregnant to tell your family?
I'm going to try and wait as long as possible to make sure everything is ok with the baby.

Does anyone else have a dh that keeps pushing back the date to start TTC?
Well I'll find out once DH goes back to work, according to him once he goes back to work we'll only have to wait another 2 - 3 months. If he pushes it back then, I'll probably have a nervous breakdown and leave him. He has a tendency to push things back and not get things done in a timely manner. I wanted to be married before I was 30 so I was thinking a June wedding would be nice but nope DH didn't want that so we ended up getting married in November and I was already 30. I am coming up onto 32 in August and if I am not pregnant by then, there will be a lot of changes in my household, starting with DH.

We have therapy on Tuesday and I think I am going to say something then unless the therapist has other plans for us. When I was there a few weeks ago, she wanted me to write my reasons why I married my DH. I'm thinking oh great is this some kind of test she is putting me through because she said she was going ask me it in our couple sessions. I haven't written anything down yet but my reason I came up with where that I do love my DH, I thought we could have a happy long life together and enjoy each other. I thought he wanted the same things a me, like a family.

I would like to see what everyone else has to say to this question because I'm wondering if she is trying to make me realize something (like we shouldn't be married) or she just wants to know our reasons as to why we married each other. She had me ask my DH about having a baby back on October and that is when my whole world shattered because he basically lied to me and when he was talking to her the truth came out and when we had our couples sessions, she started saying how she doesn’t think we should have child right now and I was flabbergasted because she was the one that brought it up to me and said I can guarantee you he is thinking about it also (referring to starting a family) so needless to say I don’t trust her totally.

New QOTD~Why did you marry your DH?

jnettie

02-18-2006, 03:37 PM

Oh, DelSol! How horrible! Have you considered telling your therepist (or have you already) that you don't trust her anymore because of this? I mean, if you can't trust your therepist, then what's the use of going?

Why did you marry your DH?
You know, there was never a question for me that I'd marry this guy. We seemed to agree on all the important things. He's supportive of me. He doesn't have any expectations about what a wife "should" be, which is good because in so many ways I'm the anti-wife! :D Being in love is great, but the things that make a good partner are why I married my DH.

SlvSpring

02-18-2006, 04:17 PM

Catching up on some QOTD....

How long will you wait after you find out you're pregnant to tell your family?
Hmm... I'm not really sure. We have a very small family, so probably after a little while.. around 8 weeks?

Does anyone else have a dh that keeps pushing back the date to start TTC?
Sometimes I think I am more excited about it then he is... but maybe that is just 'cause I am a little obsessed with baby everything! If we had more money and less debt and we could TTC now..... Anyway, the point of that is, that I feel like sometimes we say IF this and IF that too much. But I try to remind myself that we will start TTC when it is a better time for us. It's hard though, cause we don't have a for sure start date just yet.

Why did you marry your DH?
Gosh, how do I put this into words! I love him more than I have ever loved anyone.... The most fun, silly, happy and emotional times in my life have been when we are together! I feel like he feels the same way about me. Plus, we really respect each other for who we are and what is important to us. (But we do have our stupid fights every now and then too!) I feel like that totally underestimates how I feel about him, but it is the best I can do!

DelSol, I hope you find some answers this week that help you feel better. It seems like what you are going through right now is so confusing and difficult. Good luck!

LadyD088

02-18-2006, 04:25 PM

Why did you marry your DH?
We mesh so well together. In a lot of ways we are so opposite but in so many ways we are the same...we ground each other. He makes me laugh like no one else can. And so many other reasons that just make my DH amazing.

And there's the 10 years of dating. I wasn't just going to say no ring? No me and move on to the next guy you know? But naw, he's my best friend. I know we will grow old and be happy together.

Deb

Julss05

02-18-2006, 04:49 PM

Why did you marry your DH?
Well of course because I love him. A few other reasons...I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him so getting married seemed like the next step to take, we get along great together (I think is very important coming from someone who was married previously to someone I loved but didn't like or get along with), he's everything I've looked for when it comes to the type of husband and future father, we are great friends who can tell each other anything, we enjoy each other's company, we're both respectful of one another, we are equal contributors to the relationship, house, and finances which is important to both of us, we give each other the support that is needed to help each other follow our dreams, passions, and goals in life. Ultimately it felt like the right thing to do:).

honeygirl

02-18-2006, 05:06 PM

Delsol - What a great question, and not one usually asked in the family planning section. :) Sorry to hear about your difficulties with DH, I know that planning a family is stressful enough, let alone having trust issues w/ therapist, etc. I remember having a time where I knew I wanted children and DH still wasn't so sure. I was so upset and afraid that he many never want children that I jumped to the "if you don't want them then maybe we're not right together". It was a painful time. I came to the conclusion that I married DH to be with him, not just to have children, so if they didn't come I would be okay with that. Flash forward a few years and here we are, planning to TTC (and he's fully onboard with starting a family).

Whew, that was long. Now to answer your question:

Why did you marry your DH? Honestly I couldn't imagine life without him and couldn't wait to get started on our married life together. We had a QUICK courtship/engagement and yet I felt a calm and complete issurance that he was the one for me. The other reasons are b/c we have so much fun together, he is my best friend and I wanted to share life's adventures with him.

Once we finish this great question maybe we should answer "Why do you want to have children?".

DansGirl

02-18-2006, 08:11 PM

Very interesting questions, ladies...really good things to think about as we're all in this strange time of waiting to TTC.

Why did you marry your DH?

Because I the minute I considered marrying him, I couldn't picture myself married to anyone else - and haven't since. I just knew, as corny as it sounds, he was "the one." Plus....I was ready to have sex! Although we had before marriage, at around 9 months of dating DH ran into his childhood priest & suddenly felt guilty for having premarital sexual relations. So everything was halted until 9 months later when we were married! (sorry for the TMI) Ok, sex wasn't the reason we got married, but it sure didn't make me want to delay it any longer! ;)

Why do you want to have children?

To give life. To nurture, develop, shape, teach, mold. To grow our family and share this life changing experience with DH.

DelSol: I hope things go well on Tuesday. I have a friend who is a therapist and some of her methods are interesting but her tag line, cheesy I know, is that you just need to trust the process (unless it makes you too uncomfortable), better yet, just trust your instinct.

Smittenk

02-19-2006, 12:10 AM

Why did you marry your DH?

He was the piece that fit perfectly into the puzzle. I knew he was the one and I couldn't imagine not living my life with him.

filmgirl7

02-19-2006, 06:20 AM

Does anyone else have a dh that keeps pushing back the date to start TTC?
Yes, but I can't really fault him for that. When we were supposed to get married in July, we said we would try right away. Then, when we moved the wedding to January, we thought we would try in February (now) but DH decided a couple months ago that he's not ready and won't be ready this month or next, at the very least. However, since I'm trying to switch teaching jobs for the next school year, it definitely wouldn't make sense to be due any time before April or May at the earliest. I'm really hoping that by July he feels ready to see what happens, and that by August he has a fire lit under him. (I'm a non-tenured teacher for now, so we can't really just do whatever in terms of timing.)

How long will you wait after you find out you're pregnant to tell your family?
I would really like to wait as long as possible, but definitely 10 weeks. I don't think I would start spreading the news outside the family until 12 or 13 weeks becuase of the risk of m/c, but I just feel like i'd want to wait until we're far enough along to get a good u/s picture if possible as well. I know that's kind of silly...but it doesn't feel like it's really a person with recognizable features until week 10 or 12.

DelSol

02-19-2006, 01:21 PM

Thank you Ladies!

We were away for the night, we were visiting his parents and a friend of his.

I was thinking about my own question on the way home.

I married my DH because I truly love him like I have never loved before. He makes me happy, he supports me in all that I want to accomplish and we have fun together. He takes care of me and buys me the things I really want because he knows I don't ask for much so when holidays, birthdays or special occasions come around he buys me the best of what I want. Before we got married, we use to talk about marriage and kids and I knew he wanted the same things I wanted then we got married and it seem to all change. I saw a future with him, I could never see a future with my ex's.

I remember this one time we took his grandmom out to dinner for her birthday and on the way home, she brought up us having kids, now we weren't even engaged, and my DH was saying how he wanted to have 3 kids. I was in the back seat and I thought to myself I never ever told him or anyone else for that matter how many kids I wanted to have, we probably had only been going out maybe a little over a year so that subject (kids) never came up and I always wanted 3 kids. I was shocked that he said he wanted 3 kids to his grandmom.

I haven’t said anything to her because she seems to helping DH out a lot, he goes once a week for his problems. I think deep down she might know how I really feel, a while back she brought up starting a family I started crying again. My DH was shocked that I started crying again, and the therapist was like well she is really hurt over this because she really wants to have a baby. He was like well we are going to have one but just not right now, he wants to get his health problems situated and etc... I know when we are in therapy I don’t say much. He likes to complain about me and most of it is stupid shit. She has even said to me that if he keeps holding all this stuff in and not talking to me about it home and waiting until we go to therapy that I should tell him I’m not coming with him any more since he brings me here and does nothing but talk down about me and I am sitting right there. There are things that bother me about him but I rarely say anything and I keep it all to myself because I know he’s not going to change.

I might have to postpone my chat about getting pregnant before my birthday because on Wednesday I need to be in Columbia, MD for work and if for some reason I start crying on Tuesday night my eyes are always puffy and swollen the next morning. My boss is driving me down and I don't want him to notice my puffy eyes.

BlackMagicRose

02-20-2006, 11:12 AM

Why did you marry your DH?
Hey I am not married yet:( I can say why I will be marrying my FH though! Gosh where do I start! He melts my heart every time I look at him and I really mean every time! He is my soul mate. I know this because we are so much alike that we even say the same things at the same time quiet often! We love the same things and we have long conversations about things most people wouldn't understand ;) We have an undeniable connection. Other than that, I just feel good when I am with him. He makes me happy and he makes me feel beautiful. Also, I love him because he is the sexiest, smartest, and most amazing man I ever met. I also know that he will be a great father and that is important to me. How could I not marry him? He is perfect in every way!

Why do you want to have children?
I want to give something to the world that can help change it. Bringing a life into the world changes it instantly. For selfish reasons...I want to be a mother. I want to know what it feels like to create something beautiful and to watch that creation grow into something amazing. I want a life to come out of the love that me and my FH share.

laurenc

02-20-2006, 04:45 PM

Why did you marry your DH?

being with him makes me a better person. he's everything i am and everything i'm not. he "gets" me more than anyone ever will.

Why do you want to have children?

i don't know, exactly. i just do. i've always imagined myself as having a family, always imagined myself as one day being a mother. i can't really put my finger on it beyond that... but i just know i want children in my life.

eli1126

02-21-2006, 08:26 AM

Why do you want to have children? I've always wanted to be a Mom and I love children. My nieces were here this weekend and as exhausted as they had us, we enjoyed doing all the family things.

Does anyone else have a dh that keeps pushing back the date to start TTC?
He doesn't necessarily "push it back" but he will get cold feet once in a while and say things like "When you get a PhD...I'll only have my BS in May :rolleyes: " I think he realizes the financial/emotional ramifications of children, but he is also excited about becoming a Dad.

How long will you wait after you find out you're pregnant to tell your family? I would love to say I will wait until 10-12 weeks, but I may be too excited and blab to my sisters and Mom. I would wait to tell IL'S and friends until at least 10 weeks. Just because IL'S will immediately begin to annoy me.

Beth

artist

02-21-2006, 03:20 PM

What good questions! (Some of them hard to articulate the answer to though!)

How long will you wait after you find out you're pregnant to tell your family?

Good question! I wonder if I will post in my journal here right when it happens simply out of excitement. (I think many people here do that.) However, I am guessing I might wait at least 2 months to tell our immediate family. I am thinking though I'd probably ask them not to say anything for at least another month. That way, our family would know. Therefore if we had a miscarriage, they would still be there for us. However, the whole world wouldn't know until we knew for sure that everything was okay.

Does anyone else have a dh that keeps pushing back the date to start TTC?

It's hard to say. I guess for us, it's more of a "range" that we both have for TTC. I guess that range is maybe somewhere between 3-5 years from now? I do think we both for sure agree with the range. I could seriously see it happening (us having a child) as soon as 3 years from now, which I suppose potentially could mean TTC 2 or so years from now. I guess for both of us maybe it's a matter of simply having more time together as a couple and trying to have some more financial stability. Right now it's just too hard to know what specifically the future holds, so that is perhaps why we both have more of a range as opposed to a specific time to TTC.

Why did you marry your DH?

Well I guess the obvious reason is that I love him and he loves me. We wanted to spend our lives together. We see the world the same way. We dream the same dreams at night. There are certain things that attracted me to DH and certain (similar types of) things that attracted him to me. We are both really stubborn and creative and idealistic people, so we do see the world the same way, but we also sometimes drive one another nuts!:)

Why do you want to have children?

I always have known that I want to have children someday. Maybe one reason is that children are our future and those who have children get to have a huge impact on the planet's future simply by having and raising children. (I would argue that for similar reasons, teachers also have a huge impact on the future.) I believe that I will be a good parent someday. I think children are wonderful and I think we can learn so much from them. Having a child changes your life and I want that experience eventually.

honeygirl

02-22-2006, 06:50 PM

Why do you want to have children?

Since I asked the question I should probably answer it. ;)

My sister asked me this recently (in a negative way) and I was glad to have an answer. My answer was that I want my life to be more than about just me, and our marriage to be more than just us. I think that creating/nurturing a life forces a person to be less self-centered. Also I CAN'T WAIT to see what our children will look like. Will they have my eyes, his smile, etc? What an amazing feeling it must be to see your precious child for the first time and to see parts of you and your husband in them!

Now, physical attributes aside (especially if we are unable to have biological children), I can't wait to help a little person grow into an adult. To help them learn and watch them mature. To teach them how to love, share, be confident, happy, etc.

Just talking about it makes me so excited. I was thinking today of what college our children will attend, and what that will be like. LOL. I may be jumping ahead a little. ;)

LadyD088

02-22-2006, 09:23 PM

Well, I guess I'm moving on from this Thread. We will officially start our TTC this weekend!!! I am SO excited to FINALLY be at this point in our lives.

Its been great chatting with you girls. Good luck to each and everyone of you in your journeys!!!! I will come back and post any progress we make.

Take Care...Deb

Janey

02-22-2006, 09:35 PM

Honeygirl, what a beautiful answer. :)

Why did you marry your DH?
He has too many positive attributes for me to list them all off, but believe me when I tell you they are there. :D He understands me like nobody else does. He delights in me, and I in him. But I think the reason I married him is that when we look ahead 50 years, we both see ourselves in the same place -- together.

Why do you want to have children?
If I can't steal Honeygirl's answer... I think I'll go with: "Because I know in my heart that I'm supposed to be a mom."

dpangel33

02-23-2006, 09:13 AM

Why did you marry your DH?

Well I'd have to agree that's it's hard for me to put it into words with out writing a huge long book, but I've never loved someone the way I love him. He has everything I've been looking for in a friend and a lover. I trust him with my life and can't wait to grow old with him.

Why do you want to have children?

I've always thought of myself as a nurturing person and have always had a need or desire to nurture. Having a family has always been very important to me and I can't imagine growing up and not having kids. I am also excited to see how our kids turn out and to able to share something so special with DH.

Sunshine

02-23-2006, 09:54 AM

Why did you marry your DH?
I have never had so much love for someone and have someone love me so much in my entire life. He supports me in whatever decision I chose, and I can just be myself in any situation!
And its the little things to, the feeling I get when I see him still after 8 years, the way he shows me he loves me and the way I Know hewill always be there for me! I just feel lucky to be his wife:D

Why do you want to have children?
A few reasons I guess. I have always felt like I wanted to be a mom. I have always wanted to share with my children what I have learned in life, and show them all the wonderful things and people there are in this world.
And now that I am married, and have friends who have children, I just want to feel this "different kind of love" that parents have with their children. I see my best friend with her baby girl and it just amazes me and fills me with wonder and hope and love. And I know, this is our future, and we can learn so much from them:D I just cant wait to experience being a mommy!