Engagement party gift?

[torch76]

Am I supposed to bring a gift to an engagement party? If so what type of gift should I bring? Wierd, but I've never been to an engagement party before. Plus, I am feeling kinda cheap. I am already driving three hours (gas$$), going to probably two other showers (probably putting on one of them), in addition to a wedding gift. Maybe a card would be sufficient?

[laurenc]

You're never obligated to bring a gift -- but if you feel like you want to give something, go with something small and/or inexpensive. Pier 1 is having a sale right now and you can't go wrong with a pair of wineglasses in a nice basket or a candle/candleholder... good luck! :)

[mrsliby2004]

My usual engagement gift has kind of become expected from me from my friends and relatives. They always think it's so reative and they love it. You may have heard of it, it's a candle basket. There is a poem:

A Basket of Candles
For ________________

A basket of candles That come in a pair
In all different colors, For you two to share
The white ones burn first
They are wrapped in white lace
To celebrate your first married night
In your new chosen place
The green pair is taller, and also much thinner
Burn with the first company, you have over for dinner
The dark blue candles are for after your first fight
Use them to burn while making up all night
Pink candles set the mood and pave the way
For your first married Valentine’s Day
Now, when your first year of marriage is through
The cream anniversary pair, will light for you two.
Red candles aflame, both your futures are bright.
Celebrate promotions you’ve worked toward with all of your might.
By this time we hope, maybe, just maybe
You can light the purple ones, on the birth of your baby,
And just when you thought, you’d put these away
Take the light blue ones out-for your fifth anniversary day.
Now just one more pair left-for the big 2 5
The anniversary pair that will keep your love alive
Congratulations _______________ and __________________
On the start of your forever
May the two of you always be happy together
And burn these candles
Just the way we said
But please don’t forget-blow them out before bed!

With love,
Your Name

I buy votives in glass for the white ones, then the regular tapers for all the rest, except for the green ones which I buy the long dinner tapers for. I then put the white ones in white lace, and then tie all the rest with the matching color of ribbon. Put them all into a basket and wah lah! a cute gift! When it is a really close friend, I also buy some pretty candle holders to include.

Just an idea! :)

[Zelda Von Yitz]

This is unusual and certainly something a couple can use.:D

Buy an inexpensive wooden rolling pin -- get $50 in dollar bills and get nice crisp new ones.

Then take all the dollar bills and tape them together, widthwise, in one long row.

Tape one free end to the rolling pin.

Roll the dollar bills neatly around the rolling pin.

Secure with a nice, fancy ribbon.:D

[Maggie8202]

BUMP!

Looking for ideas also. I am feeling kinda cheap also because of having to buy a shower gift and wedding gift. I don't agree with asking for presents for an engagement. The couple is not registered because they only want money (to pay of cc debt). I can't see giving money knowing that it will be used for that. I want to get something nice, but not spend a lot of money. I usually do that candle basket for the shower.

Any other ideas are greatly appreciated!!

[guinevere]

Some ideas:

A picture frame for their engagement picture, a gift certificate to any place they like, a memory book to record their wedding planning, a nice bottle of wine to help them "celebrate".

[laura]

I think a bottle of wine or champagne is always appropriate. You could always add a mixed flower bouquet to pep it up, or some chocolates.

If they're taking the same last name, you may consider something personalized w/ that initial, such as a doormat for their home, throw blanket, stationery, etc. Not my personal taste, but some people go nuts for personalized stuff.

I am much in favor of the edible/functional over the ... otherwise, but that's just me.

[Maggie8202]

Thank you girls so much for your help,

[guinevere]

I'm sure they will love it!

[Maggie8202]

Bumping again.... Engagement parties must be the new think because we have three to go to in a five week span. The worst part is they are all friends, so I feel like I have to get the same thing for each couple. I don't want to give money and want to keep it under $50 dollars. Any ideas?

[tenofcups]

Have you checked if the couples have registered? Many couples I know have had engagement parties (and this is going back 20 years so it's not a new thing!) and at least among my family and friends, they always register before the party so the "typical" gift is something that comes from the registry.

[amew]

Where I grew up (Oklahoma), gifts are not expected at engagement parties. We had an engagement party with around 75 people in attendance and only about 5 people brought gifts of any kind. The people who brought gifts gave us: a vase of fresh flowers, a bottle of champagne, a wedding organizer, a subscription to Martha Stewart Weddings, a picture frame, and a sterling cake knife. Engagement parties where my DH is from (DC area) generally include gifts. My BIL and SIL received a ton of vases, picture frames, wine, money, silver trays, etc.

I think taking a bottle of champagne is always appropriate, provided the couple drinks, of course. A subscription to a wedding or travel magazine (for honeymoon planning) is fun and inexpensive. A nice cookbook would make a lovely gift for under $50. You could make the standard bottle of wine look more substantial by pairing it with a wine coaster or a nice decorative stopper. A movie or restaurant gift certificate with a note encouraging them to make time for a date during the stressful wedding planning phase might be appreciated. Flowers in a nice vase would probably be appreciated.

[mgmhmj]

I've always been told that gifts are not required/expected at engagement parties - that they are just a celebration for the families to announce the engagement. I know that I've never seen a "gift table" or anything at engagement parties - Hope I haven't been being rude all this time!!

[Maggie8202]

Unfortunately I guess the thing here right now is to make money to help pay for the wedding, so everyone that are having these parties are planning on getting gifts. These parties are going to all be over 100 people.

I have tried looking on the registries, but they are limited because the couples just would rather get money (which I don't feel right about giving). There are only fine china listed on the registries. The place settings are over $90 which is more than I wanted to spend, and I feel dumb getting a creamer or something like that.

I had always felt that engagement parties were a celebration of the engagement, but I guess they are turning into another Hallmark Event.

Do you think a cookbook would be nice? What do you think of this one from Williams Sonoma? Maybe I could find something cute to attach to it?
http://a1412.g.akamai.net/7/1412/243/0080/image2.styleinamerica.com/wsecimgs/images/products/200630/0003/img54m.jpg
Thanks for all your help!

[mgmhmj]

I think a cookbook would be great. Or maybe a set of glasses with their new monogram? I swear those are my favorite gift, and I found a website that is BEYOND reasonably priced (www.hemslojd.com). I hate to sound cheap or catty, but by the time you buy shower and wedding gifts, I think it's kind of tacky to expect engagement party gifts, too, so I wouldn't go out of my way or spend too much $$.

[Maggie8202]

I think a cookbook would be great. Or maybe a set of glasses with their new monogram? I swear those are my favorite gift, and I found a website that is BEYOND reasonably priced (www.hemslojd.com). I hate to sound cheap or catty, but by the time you buy shower and wedding gifts, I think it's kind of tacky to expect engagement party gifts, too, so I wouldn't go out of my way or spend too much $$.

Monogramed glasses sound great! Have you used that site before? How was the quality?

I totally agree with you about spending a lot of money. The weddings are also going to be falling with in 2 months of eachother too! Which means the showers will too!

[mgmhmj]

I have used it so many times that I should be on a first name basis with those folks! In fact, I just ordered a set of pilsner glasses and a pitcher as a wedding gift ($44 including shipping - can't beat that!), and a couple of Christmases ago, I ordered a set of pilsners for my BF. The quality is great - if I were just looking at them, I would never guess that they were as inexpensive as they are, and everyone I've ever given a gift from there has raved over it.

[coquelicot]

I hate to sound cheap or catty, but by the time you buy shower and wedding gifts, I think it's kind of tacky to expect engagement party gifts, too, so I wouldn't go out of my way or spend too much $$.
I was actually thinking the same thing. For our engagement, we got a couple of cards congratulating us, and that was it. My dad's gift to us was dinner at O'Charley's. :D

Another idea--maybe some nice stationery or blank cards that would be appropriate for writing TY notes for the future gifts they'll be getting?

[vwinkel]

I usually give a gift card to a restaurant they like. Maybe I'm cheap, but I normally only give $30 for an engagement gift.

Other ideas:
Picture Frame
Picture Album
Honeymoon Album
Margarita glasses and Margarita Mix
Martini Glasses and Martini/Cosmo Mix
Scrapbook of the two of them and you?

[maplekitty]

I think a nice bottle of wine or champagne and a card would suffice

[greenbunny]

We plan on giving just a bottle of wine for a party next week. The invite says no gifts, but I don't want to show up totally empty-handed. If I knew, however, that they were doing it as a way to get gifts, I'd probably be annoyed and give something small anyway.

[kk junebug]

my parents threw me an engagement party...but the purpose of it was to bring the 2 families together so that we all knew who eachother was before the wedding. Along w/the family we also invited a few close friends...

we got a variety of gifts. mostly fun things!
quesadilla maker
a wok w/an asian cookbook
champagne
flowers
crystal candy jar
Belleek Vase (irish porcelain)
Lenox frame (4x6)
beer steins

If i were going to an engagement party i'd atleast bring something. even if it was just a bottle of bubbly, or a bouquet of flowers. it's always a nice gesture!!