Part One of a 31-Year-Old’s Breast Cancer Journey

February 27, 2008, I received the kind of call you never want to hear: “Alice, you have breast cancer.” In a single instant someone pushed the pause button on my life and pulled a gray window shade down over my eyes. At 31-years-old, my first thought was that of vanity, “Will I lose my hair?” While I tried to picture myself throwing up and bald, people kept telling me, “You’re going to be fine, it’s totally treatable,” like I had strep throat and could return to work after being on antibiotics for 24 hours.

Nothing about having cancer is “fine.” It’s not “fine” to face your mortality or lose your hair or be too tired to have a social life when you are in your early 30’s.
read more from "Pulling up the Window Shade"

Leaving my comfortable corporate job 2 years ago in order to start Let it Flow was, by far, the biggest risk I’d ever taken. I told myself a lot of stories about why I shouldn’t make the move. Good thing I didn’t listen! Below are a few of the “excuses” I would trick myself into thinking followed by more empowering notions that helped me to be bold. If any of these sound familiar, you are not alone in your thinking.

What if I fail? – But what if I don’t? I’ll never know unless I try. If it doesn’t work out, what lessons can be learned to help me grow for the next endeavor?

How will I survive financially? – How will I emotionally survive if I don’t make the change? I realized my need for an annual 2 week vacation was a result of wanting to escape my reality. My state of mind became more important than a grand vacation.

“I can’t” – Why not? I couldn’t come up with a good reason. So I chose to make a change to “I can”. Simple in grammar, it takes patience and consistency to achieve.

I don’t have experience – Oh yes I did. When I re-assessed, I realized 10 years as a part-time fitness instructor, 9 years as a market research manager and 2 years in Toastmasters provided me with more than enough knowledge and experience to get started.

What will other people think? – Who cares? I stopped sharing success and excitement with anyone who didn’t understand my decision. Instead, I surrounded myself with individuals who could share and understand my joys and frustrations. The best part is that I also get to do the same for them. In the end, it only matters what I think.

Over time, I realized these fears and stories were made up, and only existed in my mind. These excuses are typical, yet my original answers or road blocks were unwarranted because I hadn’t even tried!

There is a dream waiting to come alive in all of us. What are you waiting for? The only thing truly stopping you is YOU.

Visit Stacey’s blog, Back to Your Senses, for tips, techniques, and personal stories to help you think with a fresh perspective, live well and manage stress.

As a longtime spa owner and licensed esthetician, I consistently get asked many of the same questions about spa etiquette. Today I am going to share some of these tips with you so your visits to the spa can be truly relaxing and comfortable for everyone.

Before you call a spa to make an appointment, my recommendation is to visit their website and familiarize yourself with their hours of operation, their treatments, and figure out what treatments you are interested in.
read more from "Spa and the City: Before You Book Your Appointment"

What can you tell me about The Happiness Project?

I’m working on a book called The Happiness Project (forthcoming HarperCollins 2009) an account of the year I spent test-driving every conceivable principle about how to be happy, from Aristotle to Ben Franklin to Oprah to Martin Seligman. On my blog, The Happiness Project, I report on my daily adventures on my way to becoming happier.

But the Happiness Project is more than my book and blog! It’s a whole movement! I’m trying to convince EVERYONE to have a happiness project. I’ve discovered that it’s true – if you actually do all the things you know you should do (go to bed on time, exercise, stop nagging, stop gossiping, take time for fun, take photographs, etc.), you really can make yourself happier.
read more from "Gretchen Rubin Talks About The Happiness Project"

We weren’t surprised when he–Jarron–wanted to meet us, cook for us, buy us things, marry us. He explained that he was a gourmet chef and that he lived on the upper west side. Oh this was good.

After many more e-mail exchanges (just to be sure), we drove to his loft. “This is a really nice neighborhood,” I muttered as Scorpio searched for a parking spot. “I told you not to bring the wine with the screw-top.”
read more from "Two Gals and a Guy: How We Made the Most of Internet Dating (Part III)"

I use to fantasize about sitting at the top of the corporate ladder; I was in my early twenties and truly felt like I could command the elements. Now, in my late thirties I fantasize about a big glass of wine and a hot tub filled with bubbles. I haven’t given up on success, simply re-defined it. The reason, I got tired of stress being the diagnosis for my physical issues.
read more from "Stress is NOT a diagnosis"

We were hooked.

Granted, just as with the online auction site, there were plenty of duds.

“This one says his mom calls him Alexander and so should we,” commented Scorpio.

“What’s his real name?”
read more from "Two Gals and a Guy: How We Made the Most of Internet Dating (Part II)"

“All I want is a sweet, smart, artsy boy,” I sighed to my friend, a tall Ukranian 20-something with reams of chestnut hair that swish around her knees. We rolled up our yoga mats and sighed. “We’ve gone over this a thousand times,” grimaced my friend, who–for the sake of anonymity–will go by “Scorpio.” “If there were a nerve center for fabulous, artsy men, we’d be there.”

As a busy sculptor and graphic designer who was also seeking someone to overwhelm her with creative fireworks, Scorpio, too, had become disillusioned. We’d tried the traditional routes: bars, temples, classes. All we got from bars was other people’s smoke stink and the occasional minty toothpick.
read more from "Two Gals and a Guy: How We Made the Most of Internet Dating (Part I)"

With each new day we have the opportunity to start over and begin with a fresh perspective. We get a chance to create a day that is satisfying and fulfilling. When your day ends, does it end with a celebration of your accomplishments or with regrets? I used to live in the world of regret, and it’s a frustrating world to live in! I once met a wise person who sensed my regret and asked me two questions:

“What would you do if you didn’t need approval from other people?”

“What would you do if you weren’t afraid?”
read more from "A Fresh Perspective"

There will be no ConstantChatter blog posts for the next two weeks.

We’re taking full advantage of the holiday season and will be back on Monday, 1/7/08.

We wish you all a safe and happy holiday season from our family to yours.