Gretchen Rubin Talks About The Happiness Project

What can you tell me about The Happiness Project?

I’m working on a book called The Happiness Project (forthcoming HarperCollins 2009) an account of the year I spent test-driving every conceivable principle about how to be happy, from Aristotle to Ben Franklin to Oprah to Martin Seligman. On my blog, The Happiness Project, I report on my daily adventures on my way to becoming happier.

But the Happiness Project is more than my book and blog! It’s a whole movement! I’m trying to convince EVERYONE to have a happiness project. I’ve discovered that it’s true – if you actually do all the things you know you should do (go to bed on time, exercise, stop nagging, stop gossiping, take time for fun, take photographs, etc.), you really can make yourself happier.

In fact, every Friday on my blog is dedicated to “Your Happiness Project.” I write about ideas for people to put to work in their own lives, in their own happiness projects.

Everyone’s happiness projects will look different – one person might want to train for a marathon, one person might want to learn Italian, one person might strive to clean out the garage – but we can all benefit from having a happiness project.

How would you define happiness?

Good question! Researchers used various terms, such as utility, hedonic tone, subjective well-being, positive emotionality, and positive affect; one study identified fifteen different academic definitions of “happiness.”

In scholarship, there’s merit in defining terms precisely. When it came to my project, however, spending a lot of energy drawing a distinction between “positive affect” and “subjective well-being” didn’t seem necessary.

I decided instead to follow the hallowed tradition set by Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart, who defined pornography by saying, “I know it when I see it.”

I think we all know what it means to be happy – and if we have slightly different conceptions, that’s okay, too. The important question is: what steps can we take to be happier?

Looking back, would you say that your childhood and early adulthood were filled with happiness?

Yes, I’ve always been pretty happy. That makes me typical. When asked, 84% of Americans describe themselves as “very happy” or “pretty happy.” But I think we can all become happier.

You have a background in law, what made you decide to pursue this project about happiness and what are you hoping to gain from this experience?

I was clerking for Justice Sandra Day O’Connor when I had the epiphany that I really wanted to be a writer. I left law and started writing.

I got the idea for The Happiness Project one morning when I was riding in a taxi. I had a sudden realization: I was in danger of wasting my life.

“What do I want from life, anyway?” I asked myself. “Well…I want to be happy.” But I never thought about what made me happy, or how I might be happier.

I’d always vaguely expected to outgrow my limitations. One day, I’d stop twisting my hair, and wearing running shoes every day, and eating oatmeal for lunch and dinner. I’d remember my friends’ birthdays, I’d fix up our apartment, I wouldn’t let my daughter watch TV during breakfast. I’d get more reading done. I’d spend more time laughing and having fun, I’d go to museums, I wouldn’t nag, I wouldn’t be scared to drive.

In that moment, as I sat in the taxi, I grasped two things: I wasn’t as happy as I could be, and my life wasn’t going to change unless I made it change.

“I need to think about this. In fact,” I reflected, “I should start a Happiness Project.”

I started work on my Happiness Project the next day.

What changes have you made in your life to incorporate more happiness?

Zoikes, I’ve done a million things! Among other things, I’ve cleaned out my closets, written a novel, tried hypnosis, started a children’s literature reading group, quit nagging my husband (mostly), joined the Council on Foreign Relations, abandoned my gratitude journal, started singing in the morning, and I recently launched a one-minute internet movie, The Years Are Short .

But there are so many more things I’ve done, too! I keep track of it all on my “Resolutions Chart” – a daily chart where I record all my resolutions, and score myself on whether I’m sticking to them or not. That kind of accountability is very important to building happiness.

Have you found that you’re also influencing you friends, your family and your readers to make changes in their life or to start their own Happiness Project?

I think that I have influenced friends and family. Certainly, as I’ve become happier, I’ve been better able to do lots of things that contribute to their happiness.

Through my blog, I’ve inspired other people to start their own happiness projects. More than 1200 people have joined the Happiness Project group on Facebook. Hundreds of people have emailed me to get a copy of my Resolutions Chart, so that they can design their own chart. There are even other blogs where people record their progress on their own happiness projects.

Some people worry that concentrating on their happiness is a selfish, self-absorbed concern. To the contrary. Studies show that happy people are more generous, more friendly, more altruistic, more helpful.

One of the MOST important things I’ve discovered during my research is what I call my Second Splendid Truth:

• One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy.
• One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.

It took me a long time to grasp this, and it’s one of the essential things to understand about the nature of happiness. Trying to be happier isn’t selfish, it’s selfish. That’s why we have DUTY to be happy, or at least to try to be happy.

If you could suggest one change that our readers could make to bring more happiness into their lives, what would you suggest?

Ancient philosophers and modern scientists agree that the KEY to happiness is close relationships with other people. So look for opportunities for social contact. Show up at social events. Stay in touch with friends and family. Look for ways to give support and to be thoughtful. Make time for fun. This will really pay off in happiness.

For more information about Gretchin Rubin or information on how to start your own Happiness Project, check out her blog.