I use to fantasize about sitting at the top of the corporate ladder; I was in my early twenties and truly felt like I could command the elements. Now, in my late thirties I fantasize about a big glass of wine and a hot tub filled with bubbles. I haven’t given up on success, simply re-defined it. The reason, I got tired of stress being the diagnosis for my physical issues.
I’ve gone through many periods in my life where my body was sending me huge signals that I was out of alignment with my heart’s desires, but I really wanted what I wanted. Sure it was hard, grueling, not very satisfying, but everything I had been taught told me that discomfort, scarcity, lack and humiliation were stepping stones on my journey towards the top of the ladder. After battling chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia for many years I finally got the message. I was told by countless doctors, chiropractors, physical therapists and my boss that I was “stressed out.” I found this diagnosis particularly irritating because sometimes, life is just stressful. What I needed was a plan of action for dealing with what felt like and overwhelming amount of “stuff.”
The first step was to create some of my own definitions. Up to that day, I was defining myself, success and even happiness on the expectations my parents and peers had for these elements of life. I began journaling the answers to questions like:
What’s important to me?
What makes me feel safe?
What brings joy into my life?
Do I enjoy working for someone else or being independent?
Do the people around me expect me to be something I am not?
If money were not an option what would I want to do with my life?
The questions you can ask yourself are endless, but this is where I started. I realized I did not enjoy corporate life and I really wanted to work towards being my own boss. I realized that I was just as happy being an administrative assistant as long as I felt like I was volunteering in the community. Ultimately, I realized that the community my husband and I were living in had an expectation that people work 14+ hour days and play by a set of rules that I didn’t agree with. We moved.
In my new environment I connected with people who had similar values and began a meditation practice that eventually lead me to my current career. During the years from then until now I’ve realized that when I am seeking help for my physical body and “stress” is the diagnosis, that it is most likely I am leading with my mind instead of my heart. Stress is not a diagnosis, but rather an indicator of where we are right now.
Teri Johnson is a Spiritual Life Coach and Intuitive with a private practice in Thousand Oaks, CA. She teaches mediation classes and works with clients as they learn to trust their own intuition and inner guidance. Visit her blog, Finding Spirituality in the Suburbs at FlowinHarmony.com.
