Where were you the first time you heard…

I am a musician and music enthusiast. My dad is a musician, and from the time I had my very first little keyboard when I was about four I was picking out tunes. I moved on to other instruments in grade school, and it pretty much defined who I was throughout school. I guess you could call me a “band geek,” but I didn’t think there were any more geeks in band than in any other group. Certainly none of the media-hyped type geeks one would see on “American Pie” or some such movie. And I never went to band camp.

I did compete in a lot of contests throughout my musical “career,” and I won things from medals against other schools, competition honors over other competitors all over my state, first chair in ensembles and my middle school and high school’s concert bands, and a scholarship to college. In college, I participated in band, orchestra, and choir while I majored in music. I participated in musical theatre in high school and college. I learned new instruments to expand my knowledge. Wherever I was going, it was all about music.

If you were to ask me the most important thing music gave me, I would say relationships, hands down. From my youth, when my interest in music gave me a forever bond with my dad, to middle school, where music gave me something to care about in an awkward and sometimes troubled stage of life, to high school, where music gave me my identity, to college, where music gave me life. In high school everything revolved around music, and I absolutely thrived on being away from the couple of years before. I had a couple of really bad years, being sort of the outcast, the nerdy fat girl who no one liked for whatever reason and who was made fun of for existing. I hid in the bathroom to get away from a group of bullies who targeted me, made fun of me, hit me, and once tried to choke me until a teacher intervened. I would go home at the end of the day and retreat to my basement to practice and lose myself in the only form of shelter I had.

High school was so much different. I expected more of the same, but soon I found my teacher, who was my muse, my confidante, my paragon of musical excellence. I found countless friends and people who accepted me. I wasn’t the most popular girl in the school, but I was friends with her, along with most everyone else. I had as many dramatic moments as other high school girls, but I THRIVED. When it came time to move on, I knew that I wanted to be a music teacher, just like my mentor.

I began the music program at the community college, reconnected with an old friend and made lots of new ones, and continued to live music. I went to a music education conference with several people, a couple of whom I didn’t know yet. They became friends immediately, and one of them became my husband years later. That is the ultimate relationship I gained, of course. When we started dating a few months after we met, we shared our musical love with each other – introducing new bands to each other and writing songs together. The music I listened to was as important to me as the music I performed, and he felt the same way. When we married four years into our relationship we had a musical theme to our wedding, including CD favors that included songs that were important to us. For his wedding gift, I wrote him a song that the string quartet played during our unity candle lighting. One of the most poignant songs we used on the CD is by Hum, and Cadillac or Mercedes, can’t remember which, sampled it in their new commercial.* I was so excited to hear it, because Hum isn’t that well known, and certainly not commercial.

That’s what led me to the title of this blog. When I heard that commercial, I was instantly in my husband’s car, nine years ago, and feeling all nervous and excited because our relationship was brand new, and sitting beside him was so exciting. There are a few songs that have that ability to take me to a different place, to a memory. Of high school, of friends, of my dad, and it’s so bittersweet and lovely. My life is defined by music, every step of the way – I play it, I listen to it, I write it, I love it. It gave me a connection with my father, it gave me some of the greatest friends I’ve known, it gave me role models, it gave me the love of my life. It gave me memories of hours rocking out in the garage – my brother on guitar, my husband on bass, me on drums – that make me smile when I start missing my brother, who lives several states away from me now. It did not give me a career, as I eventually changed majors and became a nurse. But it gave me myself, and it gave me life.

* The song used in the commercial is called “Stars,” by Hum. It’s one of my favorite songs, and I encourage everyone to listen to it.

-GoddessTiff