Music lovers fall into two categories - lyrics people and music people, and you probably already know which one you are without any further explanation. But just in case: Lyrics people need for a song’s lyrics to make some basic sense and be reasonably intelligent in order to really love a song. Music people care a lot more about the beat, vocals, hook, etc., and are willing to overlook sub par lyrics in a song. I’ve always been a lyrics person, myself, and over the years I’ve developed a habit of analyzing stupid songs for my own amusement (my rant on Brian McKnight’s “Back at One” can easily go on for several minutes).
Recently, I discovered that VH1 and MTV2 play music videos in the early morning, and I’ve taken to having this on in the background before work. Along the way, I’ve discovered a new time-killer - analyzing the “stories” told in videos. Much as I can’t really respect a song with lousy lyrics, I’ve discovered I can’t respect a video with an inconsistent storyline. A good example is “Big Girls Don’t Cry” by Fergie. This is the ultimate “It’s not you, it’s me” song, with Fergie leaving an immature relationship to strike out on her own. The video tells the story of Fergie and her man, played by Milo Ventimiglia. You can tell Milo’s not good for Fergie because he 1) wears his hair in a short, greasy ponytail, 2) is apparently allergic to his shirt, and 3) has a neck tattoo. Oh, also, he’s a drug dealer. Wait, what? Doesn’t that sort of kill the whole, “It’s not you” part of the equation? “Honey, it’s not you, I promise. You’re great. I’m just over my drug dealer phase. But you keep doing what you’re doing, and you’ll find the perfect girl someday.”
Another one is R. Kelly and Usher’s “Same Girl“. In this song, R. Kelly calls up Usher to brag about his terrific new lady, only to find out as he describes her that Usher has apparently been seeing the same woman. This is very upsetting to both of them, since apparently neither one has ever, EVER dreamed of seeing more than one woman at a time, and they proceed to discuss the situation while driving together, having drinks, and playing basketball. Finally, they hit on a plan: They’ll invite her to dinner and humiliate her when she sees that they’ve figured her out. Imagine their surprise when two women show up - identical twins! Silly boys, getting all worked up over nothing. But wait - the lyrics don’t match this alternate ending, and the details the guys trade in the beginning to identify their shared girlfriend - tattoo, job, nickname, neighborhood, license plate - aren’t the types of things even the closest twins would have in common. Apparently the director just couldn’t come up with a good ending to the video.
While this sort of game can be a great distraction during a long commute or a slow day at work, it is possible to overdo it. I gave myself a headache trying to figure out the latest Maroon 5 video until I realized that, like every other Maroon 5 video, the only message being conveyed was “Adam Levine is heterosexual.”
-PG-Rated
I’m impressed you manage to find videos to watch at all. I think the only place I see them now is online :D. It’s interesting to me how big of a deal music video production has come, it’s like it doesn’t even matter if the stories related to the song at all so long as it looks cool.