Comments on: Why I Chose Formula For My Son

By: lawphil

lawphil — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 18:54:57 +0000

I don’t think you need to understand and I don’t believe you (generic)have any right to question. It is a choice that each person has to make for themselves. What is right for them and their child. I don’t think your “I don’t undersand” is as simple as you are trying to make it sound. You think their choice is wrong and you want them to convince you otherwise.

As I said above I find it so disheartening to hear women beat eachother down over the choices they make with regards to how they raise their children. Work, don’t work, breastfeed, formula feed…it is so difficult to figure out what is right for you and your family we really don’t need other women fighting against us.

By: lawgirl4

lawgirl4 — Fri, 14 Sep 2007 00:53:45 +0000

“For all of you moms who “don’t understand why a woman would choose not to breastfeed”–do any of you work fulltime outside the home?”

I don’t, but many of my friends do, and absolutely breastfed their children while on their maternity leave, and continued to do it for as long as they could (while supplementing with formula when it became necessary, which, IMO, was a great approach and one that I myself would probably have taken if I hadn’t been in a position to be a SAHM once my daughter was born).

Personally, I am not “anti-formula” but again, I don’t understand someone deciding not to breastfeed before their baby is even born. I don’t understand not even *trying* - that’s to what I am referring when I say I “don’t understand why a woman would choose not to breastfeed.”

just wanted to clarify that.

By: Wendalah

Wendalah — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 21:06:45 +0000

For all of you moms who “don’t understand why a woman would choose not to breastfeed”–do any of you work fulltime outside the home?

Many women are responsible for earning substantial portions of their family’s income–out of necessity, not simply because they like their jobs–and the choice to switch to formula is not simply one of “breastfeeding isn’t convenient for me.” Unfortunately we aren’t at a utopian point in society where all workplaces and job schedules are conducive to a breastfeeding relationship.

Nor do I think it’s productive in any way to suggest a woman is being selfish for not feeling able to maintain breastfeeding/pumping and hold down a demanding job.

I plan to try breastfeeding during my maternity leave, but I also plan on going back to work after four months and I’m not sure what will happen then. I work in a progressive office and I am sure they will be accomodating if I wish to pump. Will I be able to keep it up, though? I don’t know and I make no speculations until I’ve tried it to see how it goes.

By: lawphil

lawphil — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 17:26:36 +0000

I just want to chime in on the NYC debate. Many women who give birth in NYC hospitals do not have the economic and social resources to have a successful breastfeeding experience. Nor do they have the funds to purchase formula. By removing that choice - and really you are when you say to a woman that doesn’t have the money to buy formula and the support to have a succesful breastfeeding relationship - you are ultimately harming the child. It is not about whether bf or formula feeding is best but how to ensure that children will get high quality sources of nutrition.

On another note it is a highly personal decision - whether to breastfeed or not. It was very brave of you to write this blog, particularly in the face of so many women who feel that it is there place to comment on how other women raise their children. It is quite interesting in this day and age that we can not support and applaud our fellow women for the choices that they make.

By: kemorr

kemorr — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 01:52:52 +0000

You know often times “I couldn’t breastfeed” means a lot more than “I didn’t produce milk”. The two statments aren’t interchangeable. I am pro-BF. I planned on BF for a year. It didn’t work out for us. I nursed for 4 1/2 months and pumped for another 2 months - so DD received BM until 6 1/2 months old, but only exclusively for the first 3 weeks. For the entire 6 1/2 months I battled a crappy supply, painful and bleeding nipples, clogged ducts, mastitis and a baby who would scream and cry 50% of the time when I attempted to breastfeed her (due to reflux and slow, sometimes non-existent, letdown). I spent $1000 on lactation support and several more $$ on herbs for my supply. Didn’t work. So, theoretically I could have continued BF because I was producing milk (although not enough to sustain her) but I stopped because it was tormenting my child (it got to the point that everytime I even put her in the nursing position she would start flailing and crying) and thereby tormenting me. So, even though I am pro-BF, I don’t judge a woman who doesn’t choose to try BF. Just like I don’t judge a person who turns their kid forward facing at 1 year but less than the RF weight limit, a woman who feeds her kids McDonalds once a week, a woman who lets her 1 year old watch 2 hours of TV a day etc. etc. There is so much more in life that you can do to affect your child’s health and development that in the long run, BF or FF is a drop in a very large ocean. (Your kid may be EBF for 1 year or more but if you feed him/her pizza, icecream, McDonalds and KFC on a regular basis for the next 18 years, I don’t think the BF is going to make much difference.)

By: krl626

krl626 — Sun, 09 Sep 2007 17:18:16 +0000

I think if anything the fact that women do not get nationwide paid maternity leave to be able to stay home with their babies for at least a year is probably a huge reason why so many women don’t breastfeed.

Someone mentioned that in Sweden nearly 100% of women do, but they also get paid to stay home for a year (I think). Many times the decision has to be factored in with the iminent return to work. I myself pumped at work until my son was 1 but I know that is not always possible.

Instead of pointing fingers at each other we should be banding together against our establishment that makes breastfeeding such a dificult decision in the first place. JMO!

By: magdesilver

magdesilver — Sun, 09 Sep 2007 04:11:42 +0000

Well said Delta!! That is what I was trying to say in my (too wordy) comment above. (by the way, I’m nfowife, I entered the wrong username when posting the comment, not trying to hide!).

By: Delta

Delta — Sun, 09 Sep 2007 01:07:06 +0000

Again, I actually don’t really judge a mom either way. I don’t think formula feeding makes ANYONE any less of a mom (duh!) and I don’t think anyone needs to justify their choice to anyone except themselves. That’s why I get so annoyed by these false claims that defensive formula feeders throw out about their husband bonding more with the baby because he could feed it, or dismissing the many, many studies that prove that breastmilk is best, etc. Just acknowledge the facts and then own your decision.

By: tray622

tray622 — Sun, 09 Sep 2007 00:35:26 +0000

There is a study and I have it bookmarked on my other computer, so I will post it. However, I definitely agree with you 100%. I bottlefed and formula fed myself and for reasons I feel comfortable with. My point is that judgements are being made if a mom did this, this, or this, but not if she didn’t do this. The judgement lines are very gray and I feel for moms who may have a lot of rejected feelings based on those lines. It doesn’t make sense for the judgements to be drawn on women who didn’t bf at all by saying if they had even just tried then you (generally speaking you) wouldn’t judge them.

By: amygrrl

amygrrl — Sat, 08 Sep 2007 23:56:35 +0000

“The percentage of those actually medically proven to not produce breast milk, aren’t all that high.”

is there a study to show this? if so, can you point me in that direction?

also, beyond production, there are a ton of medical reasons why some can’t breastfeed… preemie/ sick babies with special dietary needs, sick mothers, mothers on prescription drugs not compatible with breastfeeding, etc.

‘could breastfeed’ to me is a loaded statement. i had thrush for 5 months (that no amount of herbal or prescription drugs could cure). yes, i could have attempted to put dd to the breast when she was about a month old and had recovered from the jaundice, being early, and nearly dying at delivery… but to what point? to have us pass the thrush back and forth?

i just don’t think the whole ‘almost everyone can’ is really an accurate statement. it’s like the naturally skinny person telling the naturally chubby person ‘anyone can weight 105 if they really wanted to’. sure they can… at what cost though?