When I was a very young girl, I remember someone asking me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I responded, “A firefighter!” I haven’t run into any burning buildings lately; suffice it to say, that dream burned out (pun intended). Somewhere along the way I decided that my ultimate “dream job” would be a stay at home mom (SAHM). I have always been a motivated, goal oriented person, so I set out to achieve my dream job.
The first time I was paid on Uncle Sam’s books was when I was 15 years old. My BFF and I kept score for men’s basketball leagues through our local park district. We had a blast and both of us have fond memories from that job. As fun as that job was, it ended when the leagues ended and I found that I missed making my own money. After all, my mom wasn’t going to shell out $29.99 for Jordache jeans. What better arena for a teenager than retail? I held a slew of retail jobs at various stores throughout high school and college.
Shortly before graduating from college, I started the burdensome process of mailing my resume out to prospective employers. I was obtaining a Bachelor of Science degree in Sociology (READ: I picked that major because I was career clueless). I started off as a temp in various office settings and ended up on one assignment as a receptionist for a county probation office. From there I worked my way up the ladder to Probation Officer. Those of you who know me are probably laughing your asses off right now. Toonces? A Probation Officer? Pick yourselves up from off the floor. Yes, I was a Probation Officer. It was thankless, dangerous and very short lived.
That takes me up to the time I was 23 years old. I’m now 37, so I’ll spare you the rest of the boring details and fast forward through what was promising to be a very lucrative career. I ultimately ended up as a Human Resources Manager in Education for a Fortune 100 company. I had obtained my MA in Distance Education and was very well paid for my efforts. Still, something was missing. I wasn’t happy working in Corporate America (that’s a whole ‘nother blog).
My husband and I talked about what would happen after we had children. He knew that I wanted to be a SAHM and he supported me. When I found out I was pregnant with our first child, we considered placing her in daycare for 12 months, at which time I would quit my job and become a FT SAHM. After she was born though, I didn’t want to be away from her. I wanted to be a SAHM immediately. My husband and I discussed the ramifications and decided that I would quit my job to fulfill my ultimate dream.
I’ve held my dream job for almost 3 years. Did I say “dream”? Hmmm… more like hallucination. Before any gets in a tizzy, let me just say that I love my kids (I now have 2 children) with all of my heart and don’t for one day regret my decision to stay at home with them. That being said, this job is truly the most physically and mentally exhausting job I have ever held.
There was a recent thread on Constant Chatter entitled, “Whose job is ‘harder’?” Oh, oh, oh, oh… me, me, me, pick me!!! I have occasional conversations *cough*bitch sessions*cough* with my mom about how unfair it is that my husband gets to pee without an audience (other men in a urinal setting don’t count), goes out to lunch with adults on a regular basis, and gets to leave the house by himself to drive in a car without screaming children to go to an office where there are people who don’t cry, talk back, fight, or need their diapers changed (most of them anyway). Not to mention, my job is 24/7. Even while on vacation, I’m at “work”.
Those things are obviously the downside, for me, to being a SAHM. When I’ve vented to my husband about the stress, he’s turned the tables and asked, “Then why don’t you go get a job outside the home?” Good question; albeit overasked and completely at the wrong time in the discussion. My reponse: I don’t want to. I absolutely love being at home with my kids. When I take breaks and do some retail therapy or go out to dinner with friends, I miss them and can’t wait to get home to see them. There’s nothing more fulfilling for me than to have my daughter run up and greet me while squealing, “Mommy! Mommy! You’re home! Yay!”
Honestly, you couldn’t pay me enough to return to Corporate America. When I do decide to get back on Uncle Sam’s payroll, it will be in a different capacity. I haven’t decided what that will be just yet, but I hope to avoid the stress of a 9 to 5 job. When I hear my friends talk about lay-offs, excessive travel, the office gossip, and measley salary increases, it makes me realize that the proverbial grass isn’t always greener.
~Toonces
Well, as a mom who has done both - SAHM and WOHM - I can say with true honesty that they both have their ups and downs. They are both really, really hard.
Great article.