Comments on: Challenges and rewards: Being a SAHM http://www.constantchatter.com/2007/08/15/toonces-challenges-and-rewards-being-a-sahm/300 It's All About the Chatter Sat, 30 Aug 2008 12:22:31 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: chefker http://www.constantchatter.com/2007/08/15/toonces-challenges-and-rewards-being-a-sahm/300#comment-11021 chefker Tue, 21 Aug 2007 14:16:54 +0000 http://www.constantchatter.com/2007/08/15/toonces-challenges-and-rewards-being-a-sahm/300#comment-11021 I'll be honest, if I could quit my job today and stay home, I would. But then again, I might feel differently if I loved my job! I'm fortunate in that I've found affordable child care with someone I trust - that kind of softens the blow and the mommy guilt a little. But it never, never goes away completely, even though I know that DS loves his daycare provider and the other kids. Part time would really be a dream come true for me - I think for a lot of moms who want to work and not SAHM 100%, that gives you the best of both worlds. Unfortunately so many employers - including my own - do not offer this option. Even if it were offered, I would lose my very good health coverage! I wish all jobs were family friendly, but some industries simply aren't. If I were currently working in my chosen profession, as a chef (which I'm not, I work in an office right now), I would NEVER get any quality time with DS. I'd work weekends & holidays, and have 12 -15 hours shifts to deal with. I think whether you SAH, WOH or WAH, each has its difficult points and its good points. I’ll be honest, if I could quit my job today and stay home, I would. But then again, I might feel differently if I loved my job! I’m fortunate in that I’ve found affordable child care with someone I trust - that kind of softens the blow and the mommy guilt a little. But it never, never goes away completely, even though I know that DS loves his daycare provider and the other kids.

Part time would really be a dream come true for me - I think for a lot of moms who want to work and not SAHM 100%, that gives you the best of both worlds. Unfortunately so many employers - including my own - do not offer this option. Even if it were offered, I would lose my very good health coverage! I wish all jobs were family friendly, but some industries simply aren’t. If I were currently working in my chosen profession, as a chef (which I’m not, I work in an office right now), I would NEVER get any quality time with DS. I’d work weekends & holidays, and have 12 -15 hours shifts to deal with.
I think whether you SAH, WOH or WAH, each has its difficult points and its good points.

]]> By: Dally http://www.constantchatter.com/2007/08/15/toonces-challenges-and-rewards-being-a-sahm/300#comment-10936 Dally Fri, 17 Aug 2007 20:20:58 +0000 http://www.constantchatter.com/2007/08/15/toonces-challenges-and-rewards-being-a-sahm/300#comment-10936 Good column. One thing to think about when looking at your husband's situation: it's really not the same for the WOHM. I hear a lot of SAHMs compare being a SAHM with working full time *before* they had children. When you are WOHM, you usually don't have lunch with adults or anything like that because you are pumping or working through lunch to get home faster. You feel the disappointment of your co-workers because you aren't staying late or aren't going out for drinks after work. And you spend your evenings doing your OT work instead of resting or talking with your husband. When you walk in the door after a stressful day and a long commute, you have to suck it up so you can have full energy for you children. And, you don't go out on the weekend or even the weeknight because you feel guilty leaving the kids. OK, maybe not everyone feels that way. But that's been my experience. It's not at all like working pre-children. On the other hand, you get uninterrupted time to concentrate at work,and you do get adult conversation. By the way, I'm not saying WOHM is harder than being a SAHM. I definitely do not think that! I know being a SAHM is very hard and, like you said, mentally and physically exhausting. Snowzilla is right that both situations have ups and downs. And like Miel said, I think there is a real allure to part-time work for a lot of mothers, especially WOHMs. There certainly has been for me. In a few weeks, I'm quitting my full-time job for a part-time, WAHM position. I'm so excited about having more time with my DD. Good column. One thing to think about when looking at your husband’s situation: it’s really not the same for the WOHM. I hear a lot of SAHMs compare being a SAHM with working full time *before* they had children. When you are WOHM, you usually don’t have lunch with adults or anything like that because you are pumping or working through lunch to get home faster. You feel the disappointment of your co-workers because you aren’t staying late or aren’t going out for drinks after work. And you spend your evenings doing your OT work instead of resting or talking with your husband. When you walk in the door after a stressful day and a long commute, you have to suck it up so you can have full energy for you children. And, you don’t go out on the weekend or even the weeknight because you feel guilty leaving the kids.

OK, maybe not everyone feels that way. But that’s been my experience. It’s not at all like working pre-children. On the other hand, you get uninterrupted time to concentrate at work,and you do get adult conversation.

By the way, I’m not saying WOHM is harder than being a SAHM. I definitely do not think that! I know being a SAHM is very hard and, like you said, mentally and physically exhausting. Snowzilla is right that both situations have ups and downs.

And like Miel said, I think there is a real allure to part-time work for a lot of mothers, especially WOHMs. There certainly has been for me. In a few weeks, I’m quitting my full-time job for a part-time, WAHM position. I’m so excited about having more time with my DD.

]]> By: miel http://www.constantchatter.com/2007/08/15/toonces-challenges-and-rewards-being-a-sahm/300#comment-10877 miel Thu, 16 Aug 2007 04:57:36 +0000 http://www.constantchatter.com/2007/08/15/toonces-challenges-and-rewards-being-a-sahm/300#comment-10877 We cut back a lot on childcare for awhile. One interesting this is how much more I crave my child's company. It is even harder to be separated from her lately when I do work. (It was always hard.) I guess what I always thought about being a WOHM is that being with my daughter is basically my leisure activity--and I approach it that way. It's my break from work and stress. It seems to me that so so so so so many women want to have part time jobs. Given my tiny experience of something sort of like this I have to say it is the best of both worlds. I wish it were possible for more of us--and for me, more of the time. She goes back full time in a few weeks and it makes me cry every time I think about it. She'll be fine but it's heartbreaking nonetheless. We cut back a lot on childcare for awhile. One interesting this is how much more I crave my child’s company. It is even harder to be separated from her lately when I do work. (It was always hard.)

I guess what I always thought about being a WOHM is that being with my daughter is basically my leisure activity–and I approach it that way. It’s my break from work and stress. It seems to me that so so so so so many women want to have part time jobs. Given my tiny experience of something sort of like this I have to say it is the best of both worlds. I wish it were possible for more of us–and for me, more of the time.

She goes back full time in a few weeks and it makes me cry every time I think about it. She’ll be fine but it’s heartbreaking nonetheless.

]]> By: Snowzilla http://www.constantchatter.com/2007/08/15/toonces-challenges-and-rewards-being-a-sahm/300#comment-10860 Snowzilla Wed, 15 Aug 2007 16:45:21 +0000 http://www.constantchatter.com/2007/08/15/toonces-challenges-and-rewards-being-a-sahm/300#comment-10860 Well, as a mom who has done both - SAHM and WOHM - I can say with true honesty that they both have their ups and downs. They are both really, really hard. Great article. :) Well, as a mom who has done both - SAHM and WOHM - I can say with true honesty that they both have their ups and downs. They are both really, really hard.

Great article. :)

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