There is a kid in my playgroup whose mother is convinced he is gifted. She found a site on the internet, you see, and based on their rather vague self-assessment she is sure he is the next Einstein. Now as far as I or anyone else can tell, his major gifts in this world seem to be of the destruction and mayhem variety, but don’t tell that to his mom, or any of the other parents out there just like her.
I don’t know what to make of this whole “gifted child” thing. On the one hand, it’s nice that children who are intellectually advanced (which seems to be the classic basis on which giftedness is determined) have recognition that they have exceptional ability in those areas and there are tools for parents and educators to help them reach their potential. On the other hand, I think parents in general seem to have latched onto this whole designation as yet another way to be competitive and to convince themselves- true or not- that their kid is really something “special”.
The whole label “gifted” seems a bit misleading to me, kind of an intellectual elitism already at the tender age of 4 or 6 or whenever it is they are evaluated. In my fifth grade Gifted and Talented Education class there were 30 kids, so clearly while kids accepted in the program may be on the higher end of the bell curve, this isn’t exactly a rare thing for someone to qualify. Half of them seemed just about as average as can be, if my memory from 20 years ago serves, but they sure did have some ‘involved’ parents. Let’s just say that while most of the kids went to college, they weren’t all MIT grads.
I remember in third grade, before moving to a school district that had a specific GATE type program, being given IQ tests and having special small sessions with a couple other class nerds and a vocabulary coach. It was pretty isolating and awkward more than enlightening and freeing. I had never asked for extra attention, and really, I doubt I needed it. While the notion of identifying and providing extra attention to these kids is nice, why is it that only kids with advanced vocabulary or math skills should be singled out for special treatment? If we’re going to use Howard Gardner’s Nine Types of Intelligence as an example, why shouldn’t kids with exceptional musicality be able to bang on the drum all day, or kids with interpersonal intelligence be allowed to text during class if it is what their gift demands? Doesn’t everyone have some sort of unique gift if you look hard enough? How is being better at math or word comprehension (while still being, in the grand scheme of things, an “average” human) more deserving of the designation of “gifted” than someone with a talent for drawing or innate ability to put gadgets together?
When I think of gifted the way I would define it, a better word would be prodigious, like Alexandra Nechita or Bobby Fischer- those people whose talent is so integral to them that there is no containing it, no test needed to find it, no way to stop them from developing it. And it has been well documented that that kind of genius is very difficult to grow up with, with very high rates of depression and even suicide. I don’t think I would wish that on my kids at all, that kind of lonely existence. While looking up some info for this blog, I ran across Alissa Quart’s book Hothouse Kids: The Dilemma of the Gifted Child , which is now on order for me from Amazon. I think it’s going to be an interesting read.
My daughter has an advanced vocabulary for her age. It’s noted in her medical chart with no fanfare, next to other things like her weight and her red hair and the fact that she’s a klutz. I don’t know if she would test as “gifted”, nor do I want to know, because she seems to be doing just fine right now. And if she does get slapped with that kind of label, I don’t want to have to figure out what I’m supposed to think of my equally wonderful son, who is solidly smack dab in the center of every developmental milestone, or of my cousin’s child, who is bright and beautiful and developmentally delayed, and every inch of him also a gift.
When did “normal average kid” become such a sin anyway? I know it was right around the same time people began naming their kids Ghennyfere Quark and sending the William Hungs of the world off to Simon Cowell with the unwavering certainty that they are somehow something exceptional. It’s why, when little Brycely at playgroup announces “I kicked kitty!” his statement is met with glee by his mother, because his ability to string together three words indicates future Nobel literature accolades. I’m getting spammed by countless pamphlets appealing to my parental pride to use their services to create an amazing ballerina, an academic whiz, a soccer superstar…but to be honest all I wish for my children is a life of feeling like a normal kid.
- jesvet



As a teacher, this is a hot button issue for me because “gifted” is synonymous with “bored” these days. In fact, whenever an issue may need to be addressed, the first argument we hear is that the child, who of course is “gifted” is “bored” and that as the teacher, I am ultimately responsible for the behavior because I am not adequately addressing the child’s gifted nature. I also think you’re feeling more isolated in the gifted program is interesting as many of the parents I deal with claim that their child’s needs would be better served if they were placed in such a program. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being average and I am willing to bet that more of my students fall into the average category than the gifted one.