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The Genius of Being Average

August 6th, 2007 | email this | digg it
Leave your comment Posted by Jesvet
Published in A Day in the Life, Family, Parenting

There is a kid in my playgroup whose mother is convinced he is gifted. She found a site on the internet, you see, and based on their rather vague self-assessment she is sure he is the next Einstein. Now as far as I or anyone else can tell, his major gifts in this world seem to be of the destruction and mayhem variety, but don’t tell that to his mom, or any of the other parents out there just like her.

I don’t know what to make of this whole “gifted child” thing. On the one hand, it’s nice that children who are intellectually advanced (which seems to be the classic basis on which giftedness is determined) have recognition that they have exceptional ability in those areas and there are tools for parents and educators to help them reach their potential. On the other hand, I think parents in general seem to have latched onto this whole designation as yet another way to be competitive and to convince themselves- true or not- that their kid is really something “special”.

The whole label “gifted” seems a bit misleading to me, kind of an intellectual elitism already at the tender age of 4 or 6 or whenever it is they are evaluated. In my fifth grade Gifted and Talented Education class there were 30 kids, so clearly while kids accepted in the program may be on the higher end of the bell curve, this isn’t exactly a rare thing for someone to qualify. Half of them seemed just about as average as can be, if my memory from 20 years ago serves, but they sure did have some ‘involved’ parents. Let’s just say that while most of the kids went to college, they weren’t all MIT grads.

I remember in third grade, before moving to a school district that had a specific GATE type program, being given IQ tests and having special small sessions with a couple other class nerds and a vocabulary coach. It was pretty isolating and awkward more than enlightening and freeing. I had never asked for extra attention, and really, I doubt I needed it. While the notion of identifying and providing extra attention to these kids is nice, why is it that only kids with advanced vocabulary or math skills should be singled out for special treatment? If we’re going to use Howard Gardner’s Nine Types of Intelligence as an example, why shouldn’t kids with exceptional musicality be able to bang on the drum all day, or kids with interpersonal intelligence be allowed to text during class if it is what their gift demands? Doesn’t everyone have some sort of unique gift if you look hard enough? How is being better at math or word comprehension (while still being, in the grand scheme of things, an “average” human) more deserving of the designation of “gifted” than someone with a talent for drawing or innate ability to put gadgets together?

When I think of gifted the way I would define it, a better word would be prodigious, like Alexandra Nechita or Bobby Fischer- those people whose talent is so integral to them that there is no containing it, no test needed to find it, no way to stop them from developing it. And it has been well documented that that kind of genius is very difficult to grow up with, with very high rates of depression and even suicide. I don’t think I would wish that on my kids at all, that kind of lonely existence. While looking up some info for this blog, I ran across Alissa Quart’s book Hothouse Kids: The Dilemma of the Gifted Child , which is now on order for me from Amazon. I think it’s going to be an interesting read.

My daughter has an advanced vocabulary for her age. It’s noted in her medical chart with no fanfare, next to other things like her weight and her red hair and the fact that she’s a klutz. I don’t know if she would test as “gifted”, nor do I want to know, because she seems to be doing just fine right now. And if she does get slapped with that kind of label, I don’t want to have to figure out what I’m supposed to think of my equally wonderful son, who is solidly smack dab in the center of every developmental milestone, or of my cousin’s child, who is bright and beautiful and developmentally delayed, and every inch of him also a gift.

When did “normal average kid” become such a sin anyway? I know it was right around the same time people began naming their kids Ghennyfere Quark and sending the William Hungs of the world off to Simon Cowell with the unwavering certainty that they are somehow something exceptional. It’s why, when little Brycely at playgroup announces “I kicked kitty!” his statement is met with glee by his mother, because his ability to string together three words indicates future Nobel literature accolades. I’m getting spammed by countless pamphlets appealing to my parental pride to use their services to create an amazing ballerina, an academic whiz, a soccer superstar…but to be honest all I wish for my children is a life of feeling like a normal kid.

- jesvet

22 Responded To This Post

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10601. eli1126 said in August 6th, 2007

As a teacher, this is a hot button issue for me because “gifted” is synonymous with “bored” these days. In fact, whenever an issue may need to be addressed, the first argument we hear is that the child, who of course is “gifted” is “bored” and that as the teacher, I am ultimately responsible for the behavior because I am not adequately addressing the child’s gifted nature. I also think you’re feeling more isolated in the gifted program is interesting as many of the parents I deal with claim that their child’s needs would be better served if they were placed in such a program. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being average and I am willing to bet that more of my students fall into the average category than the gifted one.

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10602. tempestteapot said in August 6th, 2007

here here! Very well said!

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10603. hadaverde said in August 6th, 2007

I was in “gifted” programs from elementary school forward, and it resulted in far more problems than benefits. I’m fairly certain I ended up being identified as “gifted” because I had advanced reading/comprehension skills for my age — and I believe that had little to do with whether or not I was a genius, and everything to do with the fact that my parents read to me at least once a day from the time I was born.

I remember the awkwardness and discomfort of being sent out of my first-grade classroom and into a neighboring second-grade classroom a couple times each week, so I could sit in on their reading and English lessons, because my parents and teacher had decided that I wasn’t “challenged” enough in my own class. I remember myself and four or five other students being isolated in an empty classroom for a couple hours each week throughout the third and fourth grades, studying Greek and Latin roots as a means of vocabulary expansion, while all the other kids our age were learning basic phonics and vocabulary lessons. The seventh grade rolled around, and, convinced of my “gifted” status, my parents and teachers conspired to place me in an algebra class without the benefit of taking pre-algebra first. This resulted in my failing and repeating two consecutive years of algebra classes, so by the time I reached the tenth grade, I was at the same place as the “average” students — with the added bonus of intensely hating math for the next ten years, and being sure I was terrible at it, when in truth I just hadn’t been given sufficient foundation on which to build further skills in that area. (A decade later, I took a math class at a community college, and was astounded that not only was I very good at it, I actually enjoyed it!)

I spent my first year of high school in an advanced English class. There was no difference in the curriculum between the “advanced” and “normal” English classes for that grade level — the “advanced” designation just meant we had to do about twice the amount of work. Our assignments were more frequent and more in-depth, though we studied the same materials and read the same literature as the “normal” classes. I managed to achieve a C grade average in that class. The remaining years of high school, I refused to take advanced English classes, and earned A’s rather than C’s.

The funny part of all of this is that my parents were never the overly-involved sort. They didn’t push me into sports or other extracurricular activities. (They also didn’t refuse to let me participate either, they just left those choices up to me.) They weren’t the competitive type. (Don’t get me started on the concept of people using their children as yet another means to one-up their friends and neighbors, that’s an entirely different rant!) From the time I was about seven years old, all the way through high school graduation, every teacher I had insisted I was “lazy”, didn’t “work up to my potential”, because I was more interested in drawing or reading the books I’d checked out from the library or swiped from my parents’ bookshelves, than working on schoolwork. Between my parents and my teachers, it was assumed that I was “bored” and needed to be “challenged”, when I actually just really liked to read — I found it more engaging than classroom lectures and activities. (And honestly, I think I learned more about vocabulary, spelling, sentence structure, reading comprehension, deductive reasoning, and even science from my leisure reading than I did in school.)

I wish I hadn’t been considered “gifted”. If nothing else, my GPA would have been much higher, and I’d have gotten to spend more time with my friends and less time stressed out over not understanding how to do my math homework.

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10604. ahammer said in August 6th, 2007

Parental diagnosis of “giftedness” drives me crazy. I teach both regular and advanced high school chemistry, and I get a ton of students in advanced because their parents signed them up for it. The kids don’t want to be there, they would be better served in an average class, but their parents insist on them getting a 65 in an advanced class instead of an 85 ina regular class. I’ve had several parents truly feel insulted at my suggestion that their student change to regular. Drives me up the wall. There are trained professionals for a reason.

You’re right that being “gifted” is so much more than being “bright,” which is what I would call the usual “smart” kid. I’ve taught for three years, had over 100 students each year, and I think I’ve only encountered 2 or 3 truly gifted children. It’s so much more than what most parents think.

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10609. Kelly said in August 6th, 2007

Obviously, you’ve never met my children. ;-)

I struggle with this issue as well. My older daughter is exceedingly verbal. I’ve had suggestions that I get her tested. I’m not sure that I want to have her labelled at the age of 3. And I do mean labelled either way.

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10610. justHB said in August 6th, 2007

I was identified as a “gifted” child when I was four years old. My mother’s college child development courses needed a guinea pig to test and I was chosen. I sat through hours of test taking in front of large groups, at the end of which I was pronounced “a wonder!” and “very special indeed!” Looking back, I don’t remember the tests being all that difficult, but that’s because perhaps they were things I am naturally adept at. All throughout elementary school I was identified as the smartest kid in the class, which was all fine and good until I got to junior high and high school and suddenly I wasn’t the best and the brightest. It was actually very sobering and very difficult to deal with. I learned in 8th grade that I have no natural ability at math; numbers are a confusing thing to me and I cannot do anything beyond basic algebra. Yet there I was in 11th grade trigonometry because someone, somewhere was convinced that I should be able to do it because I was advanced in my English classes. It was torture and I remember feeling so ashamed of myself.

Now that I’m adult, I wish no one had ever called me gifted or bright or special and just let me be. I always felt like I had to live up to some higher standard than everyone else and so today, I’m incredibly hard on myself and failure just simply isn’t an option. Talk about stress.

My nephew is smart and likable and cute, but not what I would call a brilliant piece of work. Yet I hear everyone in the family talk about how gifted and advanced he is and it scares me because I have friends with children who are testing at about the same level as he is and they’re worried perhaps their kids aren’t advanced enough. I think sometimes people want so badly for their children to be special that they’ll push it on them, regardless of whether it’s true or not.

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10614. Supermarie said in August 6th, 2007

I was not identified as “gifted” when I was a child. In fact, I remember quite clearly the day my mother announced to a stranger that my brother, Bob, was the smartest in the family. He is quite brilliant, I must admit. He’s also dating a stalker, so how smart does that make him?

Anyway, you make several excellent points about this craze to label our children gifted and genius. During the time I spent in NYC I came to realize that gifted was the ticket out of the crappy public schools and into the programs with better resources. Parents wanted their kids to be called gifted whether or not they actually believed it because they wanted the resources that came with the label. Or, for those families who couldn’t afford the $20K price tag of private Kindergarten in the Gifted Apple, taking those tests and getting the 98th percentile result was the way to get a good, free education.

Very, very few children are truly gifted. I don’t know what the percentage is, but it’s certainly not the 85% that an informal poll of my peers would indicate. And I agree with you that the truly gifted will rise to the surface of the academic milk jug and will not be left behind to suffer with those poor average stinkers who will also somehow manage to become doctors and lawyers and teachers and scientists, despite their nongiftedness.

Parenting is a competitive sport these days. If a child isn’t gifted, we will make them gifted. We will send them to SCORE! classes and get private tutors and teach them to play aboriginal music in the crib. Finger painting in the mac n’ cheese will be photographed as evidence of artistic genius. Luckily, as a non-gifted person, I don’t have the skill set necessary to turn my children into such preschool savants. ;) They are doomed.

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10616. kakiphony said in August 6th, 2007

I completely agree that the label is over-used, inaccurate, and can do more to harm than to help. I’d also rather have a nice “normal” child than a truly gifted one. I want bright kids, but I’m not sure I could handle Bobby Fisher.

I wanted to chime in with an opposing view of gifted programs in schools though, because I think that when they’re well done they can be very good things. I also want to say a few words on testing, which I think is ultimately very, very flawed.

I started being tested when I was three, not because my mother was eager for a label, but because my grandmother was part of the development team for school readiness testing in Michigan. I was a guinea pig, and I LOVED it. I got to go to the basement of the school and build blocks, play word games, hop on one foot, and generally get one-on-one attention from an adult for an hour or so a few days a week.

When I was three they told my mother I was ready for kindergarten. When I was four they told her I had a third grade level vocabulary and was being deprived by not being in school. Mom thanked them and said, “If she’s learning so much, being home with me can’t be bad.” Then, when I was just about five, I took my “official” kindergarten readiness test. I failed. My mother as told I was not ready for school.

What caused me to fail? Fine motor skill development. Specifically, the corners on my triangle did not touch and my circle was not closed. This is pretty blatant example of how testing can result in some fairly absurd results.

So I didn’t go to kindergarten until I was six. No problems, except that I was disappointed not to start school when I thought I was going to. I got over it. In first grade, I went from not knowing how to read to reading chapter books seemingly over-night. The classroom was divided into three reading groups, and mine was the “highest.” This had no real significance except that my group could check out any book we wanted from the library while the other groups were limited to the easy reader shelves and we moved through the reading book at a slightly faster pace.

Our Gifted and Talented (G&T) Program started in third grade. In second grade every kid in the district took a standard IQ test. We weren’t told it was for G&T and we were so used to random standardized testing that it was no big deal.

I did exceptionally well, and was lucky that in my grade there were about 15 others kids who did very well. We were the largest G&T group in the school’s history. Because there were so many of us, our class of 30 was half G&T. Not all the G&T kids were in the same math and reading groups — some were more advanced than others. Each group moved at their own pace. I remember finishing the 7th grade reading book in 4th grade. By fifth grade there were no reading books left and we just read novels.

All the kids in my elemntary school class benefited from the G&T program, not just those of us actually in it! The main benefit was that we got funding to go on class trips and we also had audio-visual equipment. Every year, we did various projects which required a presentation which was filmed with a camcorder. We did reports, plays, skits, and all sorts of cool stuff. We went places like the science museum and the bird santuary. Everyone in the class participated.

Because there was no real wall between G&T kids and “regular” kids, just various reading and math groups going at different speeds, there was no segregation. We had an integrated class and the smart kids were actually also the “cool” kids. It was a fantastic experience and I was almost never “bored” because we did get to move at our own pace and we did so much extra fun stuff.

My parents were not overly involved or pushy. They helped with homework and were certainly advocates for me, but they never pushed me beyond my capabilities. In fact, my mother was firmly against “over-scheduling” kids. We were each allowed to choose ONE or TWO extra-curriculars per year. My choice was usually theater, my brother’s soccer and my sister’s softball. We weren’t shuttled from ballet to piano to soccer to bible study to junior golf every night like some of my friends. We usually had one activity per week on a weeknight and one on Saturday morning. The rest of the time we just played.

By the time I reached middle school I was engaged with my own learning. All the G&T kids were given the opportunity to take the SAT in 6th grade (not required) in order to qualify for some regional advanced placement classes. My mother had me take it because, as she put it, “it never hurts to get used to the format early.” Indeed, research at the time showed that the average test taker’s score went up 50-100 points each time the test was taken just because they were more fmailiar with it.

I did quite well (500 verbal in 6th grade) and qualified for the programs. I opted NOT to take a school year advanced class as it meant a 45 minute drive to a neighboring town 3 days a week, during which time I’d be out of regular school and away from my friends. No one pushed me to do it, it was my call. I did, however, opt to attend a 3 week long “academic summer camp” at Northwestern University’s Center for Talent Development (the mid-West equivalent to Johns Hopkins’ CTY programs) during the summer. I LOVED that experience and made life-long friends there.

By 7th grade, the summr programs had showed me how quickly I could learn and had made middle school (which was far more regimented and had no “at your own pace” programs like the elemtary school G&T) seem “boring.” My summer school counselor highly recommended that I enroll in a foreign language class as soon as possible. There were none offered in my town except at the high school, but I REALLY wanted to take French. My mother went to bat for me and I ended up getting to skip 7th grade gym and take French at the high school instead. It worked out so well that the next year I took 4 classes at the high school (math, english, french, and computer/typing) and one at the middle school (history). I was a bit socially isolated by that point, but more because I was more interested in books than boys than because of my move ahead.

After my sophomore year of high school, I got a scholarship and attended Simon’s Rock College (part of Bard) which was (at that time) the nation’s only residential college specifically designed for students leaving high school early. It was the PERFECT experience for me. I was with my age group and also with my intellectual peers. We were pushed to succeed and most of us thrived on the challenge. I went from writing two page reports on standard texts for high school classes to writing ten page papers on Freud and Foucault and reading serious literary criticism. I was happy and I thrived at Simon’s Rock.

Would I have ended up at SRC if I hadn’t been earmarked as “gifted” in second grade? Maybe, but probably not. I say probably not because that label was what allowed me to be in a class where I learned at my own pace. It also opened the door for programs like CTD for me. CTD turned into early language lessons and high school course work… It was all a cotninuous flow.

And I’ve never regretted a minute of it.

I’m not a genius. I’m not anything special as an adult except someone who still loves to read and to learn. I learned at early age that having an engaged mind was FUN and rewarding. It’s probably the best thing I could ever have learned.

So forget the labels!!! But embrace any opportunity that comes your way that will help your child thrive.

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10617. PG-Rated said in August 6th, 2007

I seem to have been one of the few kids who thrived under a “gifted” label. Like others, I was probably just above-average rather than gifted, but I truly was bored with most schoolwork from a very early age, and jumped at the chance to learn new and different things. I wasn’t isolated because I went to a school that worked to tailor each student’s curriculum according to ability, so my classroom had students at all levels working together.
I’ll be the first to admit that I was nerdy and socially awkward, and so I took refuge in my intellectual prowess. But would being in a “normal” class have changed that? I seriously doubt it - I would’ve been just as awkward, and hated school on top of it. Instead, thanks to years of being pushed to challenge myself, I developed an innate intellectual curiosity that has served me quite well over the years. If a future child of mine shows signs of being “advanced,” I’ll do whatever I can to make sure her talents are nurtured appropriately.

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10619. bejita said in August 6th, 2007

Word.
I know it’s soooo not hip to say, but if my kids turn out to be happy, good citizens, and interested in something (hobby, whatever) that they can turn to when life gets rough, I’m fine with that.
I was in “Gifted” (Florida school program) and “TAG” (Georgia school program,) and we got to do all sorts of cool things. On the whole, though, it helped make me lazier. You don’t take a kid with a high IQ and a motivational deficiency and start parading them around as genuis #1, you know?
Gah. I remember being 4 years old, sitting in a room with a smelly bearded bespectacled guy, quizzing me on vocabulary. He asked me what razmataz meant. I lied and said I had no idea. How, at age 4, can you properly define that word? I still can’t…

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10620. Rosebud said in August 6th, 2007

I agree with PG-Rated, I think I benefited a lot from being labeled “gifted” at a young age. The GATE classes were a Godsend for me. I was reading and writing at a much higher level than my classmates and the GATE classes enabled me to grow, learn and expand my horizons in a way that my regular classes did not. I was later enrolled in AP and IB classes in high school- which were great for me as well. I liked those classes, I liked school, I enjoyed the learning process. My scores on AP tests enabled me to place out of college classes and finish college early- something I did have mixed feelings about but don’t regret in the end.

This is not to say I am some amazing genius. All the time I was excelling in AP English and History classes I was struggling in Algebra I and Chemistry. I was really strong at some things and needed extra help in others. Fortunately, no one ever assumed that because I was gifted at one subject that I would be gifted at all of them.

As an adult, I don’t feel smarter than most people I meet every day. I haven’t had a wildly successful career, nor written a novel. But I’m still really grateful for the stimulation of my GATE, AP and IB classes. They made school more interesting and more rewarding for me.

Would I want my children to be labeled as “gifted”? Only if it made them happier at school. Only if it was something that came from their desires and their classwork. If it turns out that my children are of average intelligence– fine with me. A lot of kids who were labeled “average” in school are are happier and more successful adults than me. A childhood designation doesn’t necessarily have a lot to do with how a person turns out 25 years later. I had a good experience in accelerated classes and would absolutely do it again, but that doesn’t mean it’s right for every child.

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10621. Rosebud said in August 6th, 2007

One more thought: It was probably really good that I didn’t have parents who walked around calling me gifted and a genius in conversation. That would mess with a kid’s brain, I’m sure. My parents never made a fuss about my being in advanced classes, and they never discussed IQ scores or any of that stuff with us. My younger brother has dyslexia and struggled miserably in school, and I don’t remember my parents ever once treating me like I was smarter than him. (BTW, said brother now has an amazing career, multiple degrees and is *clearly* smarter than me.) So, a lot of how a child fares with a gifted label can probably be chalked up to how their parents handle it as well.

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10622. PG-Rated said in August 6th, 2007

Rosebud has a good point - my parents saw one of my cousins get fawned over because he was intelligent and took pains to make sure I wasn’t given special treatment. They were more than happy to take me down a peg whenever I got too full of myself. But at the same time, they were always very proud of my accomplishments.

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10624. Jesvet said in August 6th, 2007

I’m not in any way trying to say there is something wrong with AP classes or the like- one of my biggest frustrations in high school was not having enough classes for some of my college pre-requisites, like calculus. I definitely enjoyed my honors classes and whatnot. Having those programs in place for kids who want them and need them is great. But there is this implicit value judgment placed on “gifted” that pushes people to think that they HAVE to have their kids there whether or not they need it because there is something bad about not being in the advanced group. A proclivity is what it is, neither greater nor less than someone who has talent or skill in a non-academic area. IMHO.

I also want to emphasize the difference between “bright”, “smart enough for AP”, and “gifted”. These days it seems they are used interchangeably. Being in a class of bright kids going at a faster pace in my GATE classes was fun, but being pulled out of regular class to sit in on a private lesson (like what hadaverde described) was a whole different story. You get that “special” label but not in a good way.

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10627. miel said in August 6th, 2007

This giftedness thing is something I have a new curiosity about–as a way to understand why I was a weird kid, maybe. It wasn’t something I thought about much and then on one of these boards I stumbled across some things that made me realize it had more of an influence in my life than I thought.

But what is it, exactly? I do not think it is intelligence alone. Also, I wonder if it is nothing. It’s a diagnosis of sorts. Is it imaginary? There are a cluster of traits that are associated with giftedness and I wonder what that means.

I’m interested in whether it is a real ‘thing’–like aspergers–and related to brain structure or just a general cluster of traits like autism.

On another note, I did meet an incredible genius kid in the bookstore one day. I was there and my daughter fell asleep. He was with his nanny but she wasn’t paying that much attention. He read a book to me (he’s three and can read at what must be an eighth grade level), we chatted and it was clear he was an extremely exceptional child. Already, because of this, he is having various difficulties according to his nanny. Where does this kid go to school? What do his parents do with him considering that he is so extremely advanced? Does he go to kindergarten when he is already further along than most fifth graders? So there are clearly some kids who raise certain questions like this. Thus, I cannot dismiss the issue.

He seemed slightly sad. I have to say I worried about him a little because I don’t think being that different is an easy thing.

I’m very happy my child is not at this kid’s level. He was delightful and I would have taken him home in an instant but a kid like that might demand many resources and obviously extra time.

A big issue that you sort of touch on is the way kids in general are not getting instruction based on their particular abilities. I wonder if the reason parents are trying to get their kids into gifted programs is the substandard level of education. That’s another issue but I strongly believe that a child with musical talent or a child with artistic talent should be given what he or she needs to develop. Kids need a chance to develop their potential and we aren’t providing enough to schools to help them do it.

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10631. kris97 said in August 6th, 2007

I was also a precocious kid, placed in “TAG” classes from first grade on, and looking back, am so thankful for them because they were the only times I felt really challenged, or, more generally, not marginalized. In my middle class public school system, snart was definitely not cool, and I ached for the chance to be around smart kids, and not made fun of for being intelligent — a dream that came true when I went off to college.

At the same time, I cringe when I read about the overcompetitiveness of today’s parents, and really aim to make it a priority NOT to be that way. I can’t help but think that parents who jockey for Ivy League admissions for their three year olds are really just living vicariously through their children. I had the chance to excel scholastically on my own, so there’s no need for me to do so through any one else, including my (future) kids.

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10638. KristieW said in August 7th, 2007

I teach “gifted” middle schoolers, and you’re so right–it’s so often more about the parents. I really really think that gifted identification should be based on motivation first, capability second, and intelligence last. I’d rather have a class of 30 really motivated kids (regardless of intelligence) than 30 “smart” ones. The motivated ones learn more; many of the “smart” ones just whine because they’re used to things being so easy.

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10644. catmom said in August 7th, 2007

Parents who label their own kids as “gifted” make me a bit nuts, too. There seems to ba a lot of confusion that developing abilities earlier than average is the same thing as being “gifted.”

And moreover, every child is gifted in some way, and I hate that certain “gifts” are considered to be more valuable than others. Why is doing math above grade level better than being a gifted artist? Why is reading faster than normal better than being an unusually kind, empathetic person?

And if I have to hear one more person tell me their child is gifted because he walked or rolled over or giggled earlier than average, I will barf ;).

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10645. Snowzilla said in August 7th, 2007

I was in advanced classes as well, but where I have more of an issue is when parents are assigning (or want to assign) the “gifted” label to their toddler because he/she does certain things in advance of what the brochures and pamphlets and baby books say…there’s no rush to sign them up for MENSA, people. I don’t think there’s a waiting list. ;)

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10646. catmom said in August 7th, 2007

“I wonder if the reason parents are trying to get their kids into gifted programs is the substandard level of education. ”

There is a lot of truth to that. I started in a center-based gt program in 4th grade, and I can tell you that the teachers were better and the curriculum was more interesting. Fewer worksheets and more creative projects, that kind of thing.

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10650. polydactylcat said in August 7th, 2007

I agree - the label is overused and just a way to feed the parental ego. You said it best, that everyone has a gift if you look hard enough. Parents should be spending their time appreciating what is in front of them instead of dreaming of what they think could be (or wishing for what their lives could have been).

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10705. littelfredpunkinhead said in August 9th, 2007

I think people assume more from the “gifted” label than you really can tell.
Like, not every genius is a Bobby Fischer type. Geniuses can be well-rounded. They’re also not all type A personalities either- they can definitely be type B, or even just plain lazy.

It seems like some parents want to say, my child is gifted therefore they need to attend this school, have this much intellectual stimulation, and be socialized with in this manner. IMO, the kid’s personality should trump their IQ or aptitude in most cases when there’s a question of how they should be treated.

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