It seems like some parents want to say, my child is gifted therefore they need to attend this school, have this much intellectual stimulation, and be socialized with in this manner. IMO, the kid’s personality should trump their IQ or aptitude in most cases when there’s a question of how they should be treated.

There is a lot of truth to that. I started in a center-based gt program in 4th grade, and I can tell you that the teachers were better and the curriculum was more interesting. Fewer worksheets and more creative projects, that kind of thing.

And moreover, every child is gifted in some way, and I hate that certain “gifts” are considered to be more valuable than others. Why is doing math above grade level better than being a gifted artist? Why is reading faster than normal better than being an unusually kind, empathetic person?

And if I have to hear one more person tell me their child is gifted because he walked or rolled over or giggled earlier than average, I will barf ;).

At the same time, I cringe when I read about the overcompetitiveness of today’s parents, and really aim to make it a priority NOT to be that way. I can’t help but think that parents who jockey for Ivy League admissions for their three year olds are really just living vicariously through their children. I had the chance to excel scholastically on my own, so there’s no need for me to do so through any one else, including my (future) kids.

But what is it, exactly? I do not think it is intelligence alone. Also, I wonder if it is nothing. It’s a diagnosis of sorts. Is it imaginary? There are a cluster of traits that are associated with giftedness and I wonder what that means.

I’m interested in whether it is a real ‘thing’–like aspergers–and related to brain structure or just a general cluster of traits like autism.

On another note, I did meet an incredible genius kid in the bookstore one day. I was there and my daughter fell asleep. He was with his nanny but she wasn’t paying that much attention. He read a book to me (he’s three and can read at what must be an eighth grade level), we chatted and it was clear he was an extremely exceptional child. Already, because of this, he is having various difficulties according to his nanny. Where does this kid go to school? What do his parents do with him considering that he is so extremely advanced? Does he go to kindergarten when he is already further along than most fifth graders? So there are clearly some kids who raise certain questions like this. Thus, I cannot dismiss the issue.

He seemed slightly sad. I have to say I worried about him a little because I don’t think being that different is an easy thing.

I’m very happy my child is not at this kid’s level. He was delightful and I would have taken him home in an instant but a kid like that might demand many resources and obviously extra time.

A big issue that you sort of touch on is the way kids in general are not getting instruction based on their particular abilities. I wonder if the reason parents are trying to get their kids into gifted programs is the substandard level of education. That’s another issue but I strongly believe that a child with musical talent or a child with artistic talent should be given what he or she needs to develop. Kids need a chance to develop their potential and we aren’t providing enough to schools to help them do it.

I also want to emphasize the difference between “bright”, “smart enough for AP”, and “gifted”. These days it seems they are used interchangeably. Being in a class of bright kids going at a faster pace in my GATE classes was fun, but being pulled out of regular class to sit in on a private lesson (like what hadaverde described) was a whole different story. You get that “special” label but not in a good way.