American Idol: The Rest of the Best Auditions

Although San Antonio was the last stop for our American Idol judges before the start of the Hollywood rounds, the producers evidently felt we hadn’t suffered quite enough and decided to give us one more night of the “best” of the auditions they haven’t yet shown us. Meaning both the actual best and the best of the very worst.

When petty cab driver Tami Gosnell said she was willing to take all three judges for a ride and let them whip her if they visited her home town, I have to admit I was really afraid. What a surprise it was when Tami opened her mouth and started to sing. This girl can blow. I’m really digging her tough chic vibe.

You never quite know what to expect when the producers allow someone to preface his audition with a long tirade about how people with X characteristic are rarely taken seriously in the entertainment industry, but Paul Kim had a surprisingly rich, powerful voice. His version of “If I Ever Fall in Love Again” was very pretty, even when compared with Boys II Men’s take on it.

Luckily for her, Gina Glocksen’s sad attempt to seduce Simon by gushing about how much she loves him did not affect her ability to belt out a solid audition. Though I am painfully tired of hearing contestants sing “Black Velvet”, at least she pulled it off. She was slightly unpolished and, dare I say, a little awkward, but she has some promise.

Poor Edward Sanchez. He shared that he’s a fan of Paula’s “Opposites Attract” video and her co-star, the animated cat. Strike one. Then he opened his mouth and tried to sing and had to start over. Strike two. Sadly, he was tone deaf to all hell. Strike three. But, hey, there’s a bright side for Paula: a real man wants her, not just an animated cat. Score.

Three friends and carhops made the mistake of auditioning together, seemingly not realizing how lame the first two girls, Heather Rennie and Ashley Cleland, would sound next to their friend Ebony Jointer. They’re all very pretty, but Ebony’s voice shone head and shoulders above the other two girls. It was like good, better, best, and who wants to be compared directly to the best when you’re only good. Their gimmick got them all on TV. Unfortunately it only got Ashley and Ebony to Hollywood.

William E. Samland III’s original composition, “Don’t Worry Don’t Hurry”, complete with a stomping/clapping routine, was super special. At least his performance took the focus off his Big Bird yellow satin shirt. My favorite part of his audition was the horrified look on guest judge Olivia Newton-John’s face.

Judging by his snapping, arm movements and falsetto, Alexander Nazario accidentally stumbled into the American Idol auditions on his way to try out for Menudo. Yikes.

After some really bad auditions, Lakisha Jones was a breath of fresh air. Full of personality and blessed with a rich, strong and beautiful voice, she belted out Aretha Franklin’s “Think” with the greatest of ease. She’s definitely one to look forward to in Hollywood. I was on the verge of tears when she hugged her daughter outside the audition room while they both cried.

Calling this episode “The Rest of the Best” was a bit of a trick because they included both the best and the worst. But I’m sure I’m not the only one who tunes in for both, and I was actually more annoyed by the rehashing of bad auditions we’ve already seen. That felt like a rip off. Truth be told, I enjoy the bad auditions more than the good ones. But let’s keep that our little secret.