The average American gains, if I recall correctly, about 5 pounds over the holiday eating season. And with obesity at epidemic levels, people the world over are scrambling to find just the right solution to this weighty problem.
Forget diets, personal trainers, and Hoodia. Kiss your calorie counters goodbye. Say hello to Dr. Hryhory Chausovsy from the Ukraine, whose answer lies simply in the plate where you put your food.
He has invented the next step up from those refrigerator sensors that moo when you open the door- meet the smart plate. Yep, a talking plate.
According to the description, “Weight sensors allow the diner to load up his plate with a fixed volume of food, and if he piles on more a recording informs the diner of his impending sin,” with such rebukes as:
“Stop right there! And what about excess weight?” or, “Where’s your willpower?” It’s like having an angry overbearing relative right there under your plate! How wonderful!
And if you can’t stomach the idea of a talking plate, there are also versions that play music- the faster you eat, the more annoying the music; a version of the moo-magnet; and glasses that make food look gross. Reverse beer goggles.
Of course, there is nothing to stop you from simply tossing the annoying piece of talking stoneware right out the window, so I’m not quite sure how this is supposed to really be effective. I can see hordes of underweight starlets, perhaps, buying them en masse to add to their already deep rooted self esteem issues, or maybe…well, that’s the only group I can think of who would want one.
But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe in the wake of NYC banning trans fats in restaurants, before you know it you won’t be able to have a nice quiet dinner out due to the shrieking of indignant dishware. Should you buy one, though, just one word of advice: Do not leave Santa’s cookies out on this plate, for if the jolly old elf gets a “Hey fatso, do you really need that extra cookie??” you can kiss that Nintendo Wii goodbye.
Jesvet
